- Previously on L.A. Law&
- What happened between
us was one of those things
that occasionally just
happens between two people.
- Gee, I was kind of looking
forward to it happening again.
- I don't think it will.
- I've left my husband.
We got into a fight
about his drinking.
And when I told him
that I would leave him
if he didn't stop,
he became abusive.
And he threatened me.
- The thing is I'm engaged.
I'm getting married
in three weeks.
- What about these
feelings that we have?
- It's the nice thing about
being a grownup, Mr. Kuzak.
Having them doesn't mean
we have to act on them.
- Morning, Mr. Brackman.
- Miss Melman.
- Victor, how goes it?
- Good.
- Good, very good.
How long have you
been with us now, Victor?
- Well, it's closing in on
eight or nine days now.
- Getting acclimated?
- So far, so good.
- Good.
- I was thinking it might
be nice if we got to know
each other outside the office.
Maybe come to the
house for dinner sometime.
- That'd be nice.
- How about tonight?
- Tonight? I'd have to
check on my calendar.
Try. 7:30, come alone
Be there or be square.
- Hi there, kid.
- Hi, Rox.
- How we doing?
- Oh, I'm surviving.
- You hang in there, honey.
You may not realize it yet,
but you're better off without him.
- Thanks, Roxanne, really.
- Men, take away the sex
part and the security part,
and they're the total pits.
- In consideration of which,
we will be substantially
reducing our purchases of
Perrier and other soft drinks,
therefore I strongly urge
you to limit consumption
to one refreshment per client.
- God, Douglas.
- This firm's monthly
beverage bill has leapfrogged
into the low four figures.
- A dehydrated clientele is
an unhappy clientele, Douglas.
- Let them drink water.
Now, if you don't mind,
status re Lewis tax audit.
He's coming in at 11:30.
- I continue to advance
the notion of postponement.
- Oh, Stewart is ready.
Irving is adamant.
No postponement.
- So be it. What about
Rosen vs. Rosen?
- Settling.
- Galloway vs. Galloway?
- Substantive issues resolved.
They're still beefing over
the custody of Squeaker.
- Squeaker?
- Their Yorkie.
Mrs. Galloway refers to it
as Squeaker of the house.
- Snyder vs. Snyder.
- Mr. Snyder claims
that Mrs. Snyder
was unfaithful on 14
separate occasions,
one weekend in Vegas.
Mrs. Snyder essentially
agrees but alleges
it was at the
request of Mr. Snyder
who desperately needed
immediate cash to save
his floundering go-go
bar in Long Beach.
I know I shouldn't touch it.
But it's a classic in its genre.
- Perkins vs. Perkins.
- Mr. Perkins is under a
TRO pending the court's ruling
on custody and visitation
of their minor son Eric.
- We wish you
well, Miss Perkins,
during your time
of emotional travail.
- Thank you.
- Moving on, Locklin vs.
Pier Amusement Park, Inc.,
proceeding to trial, when?
- This afternoon.
- Oh, that's
pretty short notice.
Are you fully prepared?
- Does a chicken have lips?
- Oh, stepping in for
a deceased attorney,
you're certainly
entitled to a continuance.
- This case has been
dragging on for four years.
If we wait for a new court date,
that's another year.
- Aren't the issues
rather clear cut anyway?
Young boy suffers devastating
neurological damage
due to negligent operation
of amusement park ride.
Jury empathizes copiously,
comes back with large award.
- I know the lawyer was
a friend of yours, Leland.
But his pretrial preparation
is inexcusably sloppy.
Minimal discovery and
a low rent Dr. Feelgood
is his expert witness.
- Frankly, I find
that surprising.
In his day, Donald Erlinger
was, uh, he's the best there was.
- May I ask a question?
- Ann.
- Does a chicken have lips?
- No, no, no, no.
See, the point is,
when a client is
present at an IRS appeal,
it's another wildcard.
- Yeah, I... I
agree with Leland.
We give up a lot in
the way of leverage.
- Irving, if Leland or I
were to accompany
Stewart down there,
would that make
you more confident?
- What's the big
tsimmes here anyway?
- $3 million, Mr. Lewis.
If the IRS determines
that Mrs. Lewis'
show business career
constituted a hobby
rather than a
legitimate business,
that's $2.8 million
plus penalties.
- Hobby, my tuchus.
When they see her new video,
they're gonna wind
up owing us money.
This woman is a
white Whitney Houston.
I'll go to Supreme
Court if I have to.
- It will, uh, hopefully,
that won't be necessary.
You see, in the appeal
officer in this case
is a gentleman named
Marv Fletcher, and, uh,
Marv's got a drinking problem.
Oh, we'll, uh,
bury him in paper.
Then around 4:00, 4:30, when
his mouth starts feeling dry,
we'll... we'll come
in with a lowball offer.
I postponed four
times till we got him.
- Good. I like that
kind of thinking.
But, trust me, this
baby is the clincher.
You fellas got a VCR
machine here anywhere?
You're in for a treat.
- ♪ I always related
to Red Riding Hood ♪
♪ I picture myself skipping
through the Woods ♪
♪ I want to be chased
and scared real good ♪
♪ I always thought that
wolves were misunderstood ♪
- Look at those legs.
- Ah!
- ♪ Had a basket of goodies
and a heart full of soul ♪
♪ I can be real... ♪
- Sorry, I left some notes.
- ♪ Until I do what I'm told ♪
♪ I'll keep on doing
it until I'm very old ♪
♪ As long as there's a
wolf around that I can hold ♪
- This is the part I love where
Dinitra rubs up against the guy.
- Ah hoo!
- Is that sex appeal or what?
- Huh? I ask you, is
this woman a p*stol?
- Good afternoon,
ladies, gentlemen.
With your indulgence,
I'd like to tell you
a once upon a time story.
Once upon a time, there was a
little boy named Jamie Locklin.
He was 7 years old.
He was happy and healthy
and normal in every way.
His favorite things were
Rocky Road ice cream,
his little dog Misty,
the Dodgers baseball team,
and the amusement park that
was less than a mile from his house.
One day, as a reward
for sweeping up
all the leaves in the backyard,
Jamie's mother gave him $5.
He took the money, ran
to the amusement park,
rode the merry-go-round
twice, played skee-ball
in the penny arcade, but
what Jamie really wanted to do
was ride the bumper cars.
Only as long as he can remember,
he'd been turned away
from the bumper car ride
because there was a sign outside
that said how
tall you had to be.
And little Jamie's head
never reached anywhere
near the top of the sign.
Only on this day there was
a new guy working there,
a teenager actually,
who was too busy
trying to make a date with
a pretty blonde girl in shorts
to pay much attention to Jamie.
So Jamie paid his 50 cents.
And happy as could be, he
climbed into a bumper car.
Now I know that in a good
once upon a time story,
this would be the happy ending.
But, unfortunately,
in our story,
this is where it
gets dark and ugly
the way real life
sometimes does.
You see, on this particular day,
there was a g*ng of high
school boys at the park.
When they saw little
Jamie in the bumper car,
they decided... the way
bullies often do... that it would be
fun to g*ng up on someone
who couldn't fight back.
The sport was to get Jamie,
to hit him and
then hit him again,
smashing into this undersized
boy in his inadequately
cushioned bumper car over
and over again, head-on,
blindside, from the rear,
making him shriek and
cry and beg for them to stop.
Only they didn't stop.
So they just kept hitting Jamie.
He remembers 20, 25 times,
his little body and neck
whipping back
and forth until finally
he doesn't remember
anything at all until the next day
when he woke up
in a hospital room.
Now, I know that we are
asking for a lot of money today
to compensate Jamie
for the injuries he suffered
in the bumper car.
$1 million, a fortune,
you might say.
But is it?
How do you measure
compensation for the kind
of searing bone-gnashing,
blinding pain
that this little boy suffers
every day of his life
since the bumper car as*ault?
The truth is there isn't
any amount of money
adequate enough to
compensate for so much pain.
But, unfortunately, money
is the best we can do
toward addressing
Jamie's grievous injuries
and toward punishing
the amusement park
so that this sort of thing
never happens again.
Unfortunately, not
exactly a fairy tale ending,
but in real life the
best we can do.
Thank you.
- It is nearing 4:00 p.m.
We will recess for the day.
And we shall
reconvene at 9:00 a.m.
- Oh, Mr. Sifuentes, I presume.
- Miss Brackman.
- Sheila. Come in. Come in.
- Thank you.
Uh, these are for you.
- Mmm, they're lovely.
It's such a pleasure
to meet you.
Douglas has spoken
so highly of you.
- Oh, thank you.
- And you're so tall.
- Amigo, welcome.
- Mr. Brackman.
- Come.
- Estella.
- Estella Escobar,
meet Victor Sifuentes.
- We're not just talking
your average housekeeper.
I mean, Maria is
an absolute gem,
a valued member
of their family almost.
Tricia lets her drive
the Mercedes wagon,
for God's sake.
So here they are,
schlepping out of Gelson's
with $200 worth of groceries,
Maria and both Guttman children,
when these INS g*ons
sweep down on them
from literally nowhere
and kidnap this poor woman
out of the parking lot.
Thank God Tricia was
home taking a tennis lesson.
She rushed out and
picked up the children.
But can you imagine?
It was devastating.
Her little ones are
still traumatized.
Every time Tricia just
drives past Gelson's,
the children start to shriek.
Speaking of which,
Estella, darling,
esta posible va a
los muchachas con...
Como se dice ice cream?
- Helado.
- Helado. Muchas gracias.
- So what do you think?
- Oh, she's very nice.
- You can see why we're
so anxious to keep her.
- Keep her?
- Estella, of course,
our housekeeper.
- She's your housekeeper?
- From El Salvador.
And, frankly, Victor, we're
worried sick about losing her,
particularly after
that nightmare
the Guttman's have gone through.
That's why we were hoping,
after you met her, of course,
that you'd want to help her out.
- Well, I'm not expert on
immigration law, but I...
I'd certainly be willing
to initiate the paperwork.
- I could do that myself, amigo.
But with the INS cracking
down harder every day...
And it takes years to get
them their green cards...
Actually, I was wondering if
you'd be amenable to marriage,
strictly for convenience
sake, of course.
And I can assure you it
wouldn't hurt you career-wise.
And after a year or
so, she files for divorce.
- You got a hell of a nerve
setting me up like this,
pimping for your
housekeeper, humiliating her.
No wonder she couldn't
look me in the eye.
- Shh. Calm down.
- Calm down?
What have you got in
between your ears anyway?
It can't be brains.
You're sitting on them.
- So forget about
it. No big deal.
- Oh...
- Tada.
Victor, wait until you
taste this woman's flan.
- I suppose I owe
you an apology.
- You got that right.
- On review, it was
insensitive of me
not to tell you my plan
before springing it like that.
- Insensitivity aside, what
you are trying to do is illegal.
- Shh.
I regard it as a great
favor, Victor, a great favor
if you would take on her case
by the numbers, no hanky panky.
Please, Victor. I'm
a desperate man.
Sheila is virtually
paralyzed with fear
that Estella is gonna be picked
up in one of those sweeps.
It's all I hear about
night and day.
If not for me, then for Estella.
- Hmm.
I've already started
the paperwork.
It's not her fault
you're such a jerk.
- Mr. Locklin, finally,
would you describe,
not as an expert,
but just as a father,
the changes in Jamie
since the accident?
- He was always, uh,
you know, the
happiest kind of kid,
big smile on his face, sunshine.
His mother used to
call him that before...
And now he's, uh, he's...
See, the doctors say that
there's nothing they can do.
But I know that that's not true.
I read about this
clinic in Switzerland.
And if we had the money,
I... We could take him there.
- Objection. Irrelevant.
- Maybe we could do
something for Jamie.
We could...
- Objection sustained.
Mr. Locklin, you will
please confine yourself
to answering the
question as posed.
- I'm sorry, your Honor.
It's just that... It's
just that he's my boy.
- The hour's approaching noon.
We will recess until 1:00 p.m.
At that time, we will resume
Mr. Locklin's testimony.
- We'll be going over some
of the possible questions...
- Kuzak, if you could spare
a moment of your time.
- Excuse me, I'll
catch up with you.
- You're really very
skillful, Mr. Kuzak.
If I was on that jury, you'd
have me in your pocket.
- Do I take this to be
your opening move
in the settlement
tango, Mr. Resler?
- Not exactly.
I believe you to be an
ethical man, Mr. Kuzak.
Accordingly, I'm going to assume
you knew nothing about this.
I didn't until yesterday.
A revised list of the
witnesses I intend to call.
Under the circumstances,
I wouldn't object
if you ask for a continuance.
- Who's Dr. Maxwell Rosen?
- Ask your clients.
Somehow, during discovery,
they managed to
forget all about it.
You... you might also
want to ask about, uh,
Arnold Wexler, attorney.
Locklin legally adopted
the boy shortly after
the bumper car incident.
- Are there any other witnesses
I should ask my client about?
- Several, though I'm not
certain how Judge Nozaki
would feel about their
presence in his courtroom...
Foxy Lady, Rupert's
Pride, Dilly Dally,
just a few of
Mr. Locklin's losers
this weekend in Hollywood Park.
- It is not a crime to play
the ponies, Mr. Resler.
- True. And if Jamie's
case doesn't pan out,
he'll even has own
personal injury suit
when both his legs get broken.
Your loving, devoted,
selfless daddy, Mr. Kuzak,
is in deep with the books.
- So big deal. Rosen
testifies for them.
We got Dr. Phillips on our team.
- According to Dr. Rosen's
sworn statement,
he treated Jamie after
the bumper car accident.
Diagnosis: superficial abrasions
and cervical strains.
In other words, scratches
and a mild whiplash.
- You're a smart
lawyer, Mr. Kuzak.
You can trip them
up on the stand,
make him look
like an incompetent.
- Dr. Rosen also treated
Jamie two years prior
to the bumper car incident
when he fell out of a swing set
in your backyard, says
here, Jamie was in a coma
for seven days, hospitalized
for a total of three weeks.
He needed an orthopedic
brace and physical therapy
for 11 months.
- You have any idea how much
something like that costs, huh?
Damn near broke my back.
- So when this other
thing happened,
you figured you could get even.
You adopted Jamie,
legally changed his name
so that the medical records
on this earlier accident
couldn't be traced.
- Look at him.
He is never going to
be completely normal.
You don't think he
deserves some time of help?
What?
You want my heart to bleed
for the insurance company?
They've got more money than God.
I mean, who's it
gonna hurt, huh?
Just tell me that.
Who the hell is it gonna hurt?
- As we assess that the,
uh, taxpayer, uh, has deprived
the government of $2,823,418
in uncollected revenues.
- Over my dead body.
- Irving, please.
Mr. Fletcher, I can certainly
see how it... at first blush,
you might assess things
that way, which is why
I prepared a few
additional table schedules
and indices for you to peruse.
Excuse me.
Ray, want to bring
them in there?
Just put them right here.
Great. Thanks.
- Good Lord.
- A journey of a
thousand miles must begin
with the first
step, Mr. Fletcher.
So, uh, excuse me.
Pardon me.
So, uh, in no particular order,
uh, here's a... a schedule
of deductions arising
from Mrs. Lewis'
recent video cassette,
appended to which
is a discussion
of the implications
of the proposed tax revision
on the investment
tax credit of same.
- And before we'd
need even consider
the specific deductions,
I must first be
persuaded that Mrs. Lewis
had a bona fide
intent to make a profit.
And, quite frankly,
in the absence
of income-generating
activities...
- In Vegas, they
paid her $100,000.
- Yeah, uh, she sang two
numbers in the 1984 telethon.
- I'd be willing to bet the
$100,000 was paid pursuant
to her agreement that
she donate it to the charity.
- By me, she makes Streisand
look like amateur night.
- Frankly, Mr. Fletcher, I
anticipated you're having
some problems in this area.
And that's why I prepared this
schedule for your convenience.
1/18/83, Good Morning,
Omaha, she earned $137.50.
3/25, Regis Philbin
Show, $137.50.
4/30, In the
Kitchen with Dinah...
- I'm afraid not, gentlemen.
Even if arguendo,
I'm convinced there
is a bona fide intent,
these so-called business
expenses are completely
out of line and grossly
exceed any income.
- Which ones exactly?
- $127,000 for hairstyling.
- Well, I should point
out, Mr. Fletcher,
that's hairstyling
and nail maintenance.
But here it is, right
here, hairstyling.
Here we go.
Let's start in, uh, 1983.
1/1, shampoo, cut, and
blow dry... you with me?
- Right.
- $250, and there's a...
A $50 gratuity as well.
1/2, full set of
porcelain nails, $75...
Oh, and, by the way,
my car's in the lot.
It'll be okay there
after dark, won't it?
- Now... now, look at this,
$863,000 for wardrobe?
- It's over a three-year period.
And I'm sure if you'll
just be a little patient,
you'll see that every
dollar is accounted for.
Here we go.
Here's for you.
All right. 1/3/83, Bugle
Beads... you with me?
So it's red, $312,
blue, $289, gold, $371...
- Uh, no. U.S. vs. Van
Allen, U.S. vs. Jameson.
This is not a
business, and that's it.
- Well, I... with all due
respect, Mr. Fletcher,
I... I truthfully don't think
you've taken into consideration
the full implications
of the recent case,
U.S. vs. Miller, which
is directly on point.
- Miller?
- Miller.
Yeah, in an appeal
from a judgment from
the United States District
Court from the Central District
of California, reviewing
a district court's ruling
for finding of summary
judgment, Miller...
- Uh, Mr. Markowitz,
it's so late.
- The IRS, uh,
originally disallowed
deductions arising from
the taxpayer's activities
as an organizer and baritone
of a barbershop group quartet,
stating his expenditures
for, uh, uh, wardrobe,
including dry-cleaning
of the striped shirts,
uh, hair tonic, as well as
singing lessons, washboard,
and fiddle, drum
accompaniment, and transportation
to and from his
friend's apartment
where the group
rehearsed two times weekly
as grossly exceeding any
income generated by the quartet,
the IRS disallowed
the taxpayer's assertion
of bona fide intention
to earn a profit.
- Is there much more?
- Well, in summary, the
court of appeals found
in favor of defendant Miller,
stating the IRS had no business
of judging professional
or amateur status
in professions of
individuals if they earned
any income whatsoever,
no matter how much
their expenses
exceeded such income.
And I have a table.
- Uh, no, no, no,
please. I'll tell you what.
Give me the evening to
refresh my memory, uh,
about the precedence
that you've already cited.
And... and we'll meet
again tomorrow at 9:00 a.m.
at... at which time
I'll give you my ruling.
- You k*ller, you son of a g*n.
- I made it up.
- You made up what?
- U.S. vs. Miller.
I made up every word of it.
- So what? He
bought it, didn't he?
- It's fraud, for God's
sakes. I could go to jail.
- Only if he checks.
- Irving, I... I'm sorry.
But I... I gotta
go back in there.
- Hey, listen to
me, kid, 5:15, right?
10-to-1 he's in the bathroom
right now having a swig.
By 7:00, he's blato.
He drifts home by 11:00.
He passes out on the
sofa. He oversleeps.
He chugs a couple of beers
for breakfast just to get even.
And then he shows up
at tomorrow's meeting
pretending that he knew
what you were talking about
because he's embarrassed to
admit that he was too bombed
to look it up.
- If I don't go back
in there right now,
I may as well bend over
and kiss my career good-bye.
- If you do that, kid, you
might as well bend over
and kiss my business good-bye.
- I... I... I don't know
what came over me.
I mean, I've never done
anything like that before in my life.
- What are you gonna do?
- Well, I... I'm damned
if I do, damned if I don't.
If Fletcher researches
it, discovers the lie,
he nails me for fraud.
But if I go in there and
tell him I was just kidding,
he nails Irving Lewis, and
Lewis pulls his business
from the firm.
And either way, if the
Ethics Committee finds out,
I'll be disbarred.
- I don't think they'd
really disbar you.
- They wouldn't?
- Probably just an interim
suspension, probation.
- Great.
- There's a third alternative.
- What? Tell me.
- Do nothing.
Chances are you were so
convincing, he'll sit down,
negotiate a
favorable settlement.
- Nah, it's, uh, it's dishonest.
I... I could never
live with myself.
- Diogenes would love you.
- Probably want to deduct
the cost of the lantern
as a business expense.
- Anyway, I've made
my bed. I'll sleep in it.
Speaking of which, um,
how would you like to grant
a condemned man his last wish?
- If I can.
- Spend the night with me?
- I like you, Stewart, a lot.
I just don't want to rush it.
- Was it... Was I that
bad the first time?
- I don't know.
Truth is, I don't remember.
- So not terrible,
just not memorable?
- Stewart, I'm not
much of a drinker.
I got drunk.
I don't remember
anything that happened
after we left Leland's party.
For all I know, it
never happened at all.
- It happened.
It was the sexiest
night of my life.
- You were probably wonderful.
I just can't remember.
- Are you sober now?
- Totally.
- Mm.
- Maybe I need a
refresher course.
- Check, please.
- Mr. Fletcher?
- Already?
- Yeah, I, uh, I
want to speak to you
about that precedent
I cited yesterday.
- Yeah, of course.
I spent some time
on it myself last night.
Interesting, if I could
only find my notes...
What was it you
were going to say?
- Well, just that
I reviewed it, so
I'm sure we came to
the same conclusion.
- And what conclusion was that?
- That Miller isn't
really on point at all.
- No.
- Mm-mm.
- No, not at all.
- And I'm sorry I
misspoke myself yesterday.
- Well, as long as we
caught it in time, hmm?
So where does that
leave us exactly?
- I guess I can't convince
you it's a business.
- Look, I want to be
reasonable, Mr. Markowitz.
You can tell your client that
he may take as much time
as he needs to pay
off the, uh, what was it?
$2.8 million.
- 2.8.
- I could probably
waive the penalties.
- I hate to dump my personal
problems on you, Mr. Fletcher,
but 2.8... I could lose my job.
- What if I sneaked
2.5 past my people?
- Wouldn't help.
- What do you think
you could live with?
- How about 1.4?
- Round numbers like that.
- Mm.
- What about... $1,766,000?
My boss will buy that.
What about yours?
- $1,700,000?
- Plus change.
- Irving Lewis told me
that you were a genius,
that you had them
bamboozled. Some genius.
- Yeah, well, I... I
committed a fraud.
I could have been disbarred.
- Oh, and this way,
all that happens is
we lose a major
client, major dollars,
dollars that come
directly out of my pocket
as a partner in this firm.
- I don't think Irving will
really pull out his business.
- You haven't told him yet.
- I... I can't get
a hold of him.
- Oh, well, you be sure and
let me know when you do.
And in the meantime, Stewart?
- Yes, sir?
- In the ecology of
this firm's food chain...
- Yes, sir.
- Here are the points and
authorities you needed.
- Thanks.
- I have to pick Eric up
at school and take him
to the dentist, but I
will be back by 2:30.
- You don't have to
clock in and out with me.
Just take care of yourself.
- Okay.
- And I'm here if
you need to talk.
- Thank you, really. Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Is, um, Stacy around?
- Stacy's on her honeymoon.
- You're kidding.
I was here on Friday.
She didn't even tell me.
- You are?
- Eric's mom, Abigail Perkins.
- Eric went home already.
- What do you mean he went home?
- His father picked him up.
- He can't. There's...
there's a restraining order.
I told Stacy that.
- Sorry. Nobody
said anything to me.
- What time was he here?
- About 11:30.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- Mr. Locklin, who is
Dr. Maxwell Rosen?
- He was a doctor who
treated Jamie years ago
after he fell off a swing set.
- And his injuries
were quite serious.
Is that right?
- Well, at the time, they
sure seemed that way,
to me and my wife at least.
But I guess that's the
way all parents are.
Anything that
happens to your boy
always hurts you the worst.
- And, yet, Mr. Locklin,
when you were asked
in connection with this
case to provide a list of
all the doctors who had
treated Jamie during any time
in his life, you deliberately
omitted Dr. Rosen's name.
- No, it was nothing deliberate.
I just forgot to write it down.
- You forgot.
- Well, after the bumper
car accident and worrying
about Jamie, I... I couldn't
remember everyone
whoever filled a cavity
or put on a Band-Aid.
- But this was more
than a Band-Aid,
a lot more, wasn't it?
- Yes. Yes, you're right.
And I'm sorry if it caused
a problem, my forgetting it.
- Isn't it true that you
deliberately omitted
Dr. Rosen's name because
you didn't want anyone
to know that it was the
accident on the swing set
that caused Jamie's
neurological problems
and not the bumper car ride?
- No. If you had seen Jamie
after the bumper car accident,
that's all I could think about,
how badly he'd been hurt.
It... it didn't even
cross my mind to think
about a... a little fall he
had when he was a baby.
- Isn't it true, Mr. Locklin,
that you went so far
as to change Jamie's last name
to prevent us from discovering
his previous treatment
by Dr. Rosen?
- What are you talking about?
- Mr. Locklin, you
testified yesterday
about your son
Jamie's condition?
- Yes.
- Isn't it true that
Jamie Locklin
is actually our adopted son?
- He's my son.
And, yes, I adopted him,
but I don't see what this
has to do with it.
- Isn't it true you adopted him
right after the
bumper car incident?
- A few months afterward.
- Interesting timing.
- What are you saying?
- Isn't it true that you
adopted him because you saw
the chance to make money
off of his insurance claim?
As his father, you would
get some of it, right?
You could pay off your bookies.
- Objection.
- Withdraw the question.
Isn't it true, Mr. Locklin,
that the reason
you adopted Jamie and
gave him a new last name
is so that we would
never discover
any of his previous
medical records at all?
- Do you really believe
what you're saying?
Or are you just going after
me because this is your job?
- Just answer the
question, Mr. Locklin.
- All right.
I adopted him because
his biological father,
my wife's ex-husband,
wouldn't have anything
to do with him after
the bumper car accident.
He said it made him too
depressed to be around him.
Poor little boy, he was
in so much physical pain,
he didn't need that
kind of rejection, too.
So I adopted Jamie
because I wanted him to know
that he had a father
who loved him.
- Full name.
- Eric Michael Perkins.
- Age?
- 3 1/2.
- Exact date of birth.
- March 2, 1983.
- Okay. Height.
- About 3'2".
- Hair?
- Um, blond.
It's kind of a bowl cut.
- Weight?
- 35 pounds.
- What was he wearing?
- Sneakers.
They're red high tops.
Blue jeans, um, a
red and white T-shirt.
I have a picture of him.
- Here's a copy of
the restraining order.
I've already spoken
with Judge Robins.
She'll issue a bench
warrant as soon as you call.
- Okay. Uh, what kind of
car does your husband drive?
- Uh, a '75 Volvo
wagon. It's white.
- You know the license
number offhand?
- No.
- That's okay.
When we get it,
we'll put it on the wire.
- That... that's it?
I mean, you just
put it on the wire?
- He's cleaned out
both bank accounts.
He has maxed
out the credit cards.
He has taken the boy's clothes.
This is not a weekend trip
to Disneyland, detective.
- Counselor, do you know
how many missing kid reports
we get annually?
This is volume one
of a three-volume set.
You want my advice?
You get a good P.I., and
you track him down yourself.
- Damn it, detective.
My husband violates a
TRO, kidnapping my son,
and the best thing you can
tell me is to get my own P.I.?
- Well, I'm sorry.
We don't have the time,
manpower, or money
to do the job for you.
- I can't hold him.
I can't hold him.
- Ok, now, with all due respect,
you see the kind of stuff
we have around here.
You get a line on him,
you give me a call, and
we'll take it from there.
- Thank you, detective.
You'll call Judge Robins?
- Even as we speak.
- Come on, Abby.
- Yes?
- Excuse me.
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
- Not at all. Come in.
I heard what happened.
I'm terribly sorry.
- Thank you.
- Has there been any word or...
- Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
Please sit down.
Yes?
- Mr. McKenzie,
Mr. Lewis is here.
- Put him in the
conference room.
Tell him I'll be with
him in a few minutes.
Now, then, just tell me
what we can do to help.
- Actually, what
I've been thinking,
under the circumstances,
I think that it might be
in the firm's best
interest if I resigned.
- I'll hear of no such thing.
- I won't be capable of doing
the work that I was hired...
- Miss Perkins,
getting your son back
is all that matters toward
which end you will have
the full resources of
this firm at your disposal.
Is that clear?
- Yes. Thank you, sir.
I... I'm just so afraid that I
won't ever see him again.
- She's gone.
Leland, she left me.
After everything I gave her,
huh, the money, the clothes,
the lessons, she leaves me
for that dancer in the video,
the blondie.
I thought he was a faygala.
The agent called me,
practically gets on his knees,
begging me to use him,
and this is the kind of...
- Irving, are you
absolutely certain?
- She didn't come
home last night.
This morning, I get a
phone call... collect, no less.
She's in Hawaii with this yutz.
- Look, she is a very
young woman, Irving.
Now, these things happen.
A week or two,
it'll run its course.
- Don't you think I said that?
66, I'm not the
boy I used to be.
Don't get me wrong.
I mean, I function.
I function plenty.
Look, I can understand
the fling, I tell her.
She says it's not a fling.
It's deep, spiritual love,
she says, the first time
she's ever... oh, God.
- Oh.
- Oh, Leland, there's
no fool like an old fool.
I love her. And she left me.
- Oh, I know. I know
how you must feel.
But I've got to believe
that she'll come back.
- Oh, no, it's over. My
life has turned to crap.
And she says she's happy
for the first time in her life.
She says I made her sick.
She says she wants
a divorce right away.
She's earned her freedom.
Now, what the hell is that?
- I think we'd better get
Becker and Markowitz
on to this right away.
- Well, do what you want.
- Let's go. The
old man wants us.
- What for?
- He's got Irving
Lewis with him.
- Oh, God. Well,
that's it. I'm finished.
- The only one who's
finished is Irving Lewis.
Bimbo wife left him
for the arms of another.
- She left him? She
left him as in divorce?
- As in.
- Whoo.
- Hey, easy.
- Mrs. Lewis will try to say
it's a community business
expense, of course.
But the IRS already
said it's no business.
And is the IRS ever
wrong? Never. It's a hobby.
And all the money Irving
poured into Mrs. Lewis'
little hobby was of
a personal nature
on top of which they're on
the books as loans anyway
for accounting purposes...
Loans, due and payable
upon dissolution
of the corporation.
We dissolve the
corporation, call the loans,
subtract that from
the community assets,
as well as Mrs. Lewis' liability
for half the $1.7
million in back taxes,
and the way I figure it,
Mrs. Lewis is gonna end up
owing money to Mr. Lewis.
- Stewart Markowitz, you
total schnauzer, I love it.
- And this is kosher,
what we're doing?
- Absolutely.
- Leland, I hate
this whole thing.
I wish it wasn't happening.
But I feel like these
boys are my own sons.
They're so smart.
- That's what
we're here for, Irv.
- And you, I thought I
was gonna have to give you
a smack after that tax fiasco.
But you turned a cow's
ear into a sheepskin purse.
- Counselor.
- Mr. Resler.
- Got your dancing shoes on?
- Heh heh.
- $150,000. Right now today.
- Why? You got me on the ropes.
- Off the record,
your clients are scum.
We both know it.
But the jury doesn't,
or they don't care.
Besides, look at
me and look at you.
Juries generally don't find
me particularly attractive
or sympathetic, whereas
you're a persuasive lawyer,
Mr. Kuzak, a good-looking
and personable man.
And, of course, there's
the pitiful little boy
sitting there in the courtroom.
We've run this
through our computers.
In cases with
injuries similar to this,
the awards range from a low of
$400,000 to millions of dollars.
- So $150,000
seems like a bargain.
- Like I said before, Mr. Kuzak,
I think you're an
ethical attorney.
I want to believe you
don't like rewarding thieves
any more than I do.
But as far as I can
see, this is the only way
to make this damn case go away.
- Let me talk to my clients.
- 150K? Is he kidding?
Tell him to jam it.
- Under the
circumstances, it sounds like
a pretty decent offer to me.
- Circumstances?
That guy's gonna get
his head handed to him
by that jury, and he knows it.
There's your circumstances.
- That may be.
Then two things
are gonna happen.
One, they're gonna
appeal the judgment.
It'll be years before
you ever see a dime.
And, two, they're
gonna go to the DA
to bring charges
against you for fraud.
- Oh, they can't
prove a damn thing.
- You're a good
actor, Mr. Locklin.
You really had that jury going.
But don't kid yourself.
There's a strong
case here for fraud.
And if you're found guilty,
it could vitiate the
original judgment.
- What's that mean, vitiate?
- Weaken, invalidate.
In short, Mr. Locklin,
you could wind up with
nothing but a jail sentence
and a pile of legal fees.
- Lawyers, you all stick
together, don't you?
What'd that guy Resler
offer you to jack us up, huh?
- Mr. Locklin, my
firm has no interest
in benefiting from fraud.
If you decide to take
Mr. Resler's offer,
we intend to waive
our percentage.
- If we accept, what
happens to the money?
- The entire $150,000
will go into a trust
for Jamie's special
education and medical needs.
- We'll take it.
- Hey, come on.
- He's my son.
- Well, what about us?
What about our needs?
- Try getting a
job, Mr. Locklin.
- And did you state that on
the Sunday morning in question,
you accidentally hit
Mr. Jackson on the head
with a Steve Garvey model
K55 Louisville Slugger?
- That's right, accidentally.
- Mr. LaFollette, if in fact
you were not intending
to rob Mr. Jackson,
what were you doing
with a baseball bat
concealed on your person
in the first place?
- I play in a softball league. I
was on my way to the game.
At 6:30 a.m. in a dashiki?
- My uniform was
in the dry cleaner.
- I see. Thank
you, Mr. LaFollette.
No more questions, Your Honor.
- You may step
down, Mr. LaFollette.
And as the hour is growing late,
let us adjourn until 9:00 a.m.
- Well, you got that case won.
- It's not exactly
"Inherit the Wind."
- Careful, that's my
favorite movie ever.
Actually, I became a lawyer
because of Spencer Tracy.
- For me, it was Gregory Peck.
- Oh, get out of here.
- "To k*ll a Mockingbird."
- Well, Gregory Peck was
good, but Spencer Tracy...
- Yeah.
- He was...
- Well, you'd get along
great with my dad.
He loves Spencer Tracy, too.
- Your dad a lawyer?
- Mm-mm. He's a milkman.
- So has he met old
what's his name yet?
- He meets old what's
his name this weekend.
I'm pretty nervous about it.
- Well, I got a good idea.
Why don't you take me instead?
- You're getting pushy again.
- That's not pushy.
If I was to kiss you,
now that would be pushy.
- There's a two-word
description for what
I'd be if I let you
kiss me, Mr. Kuzak.
And the second word
rhymes with freezer.
Good night, counselor.
- Freezer?
01x03 - The House of the Rising Flan
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High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.
High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.