01x08 - I'm Just Wild About Harry

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

EDWARD: Ricky?

Uh, just a minute, Dad.

Um, uh... I'm wrapping
your birthday present.

Ricky, my birthday
isn't for eight months yet.

I'm a slow wrapper.

Come in.

Son, what are you doing in bed?

I usually ask you ten times
before you go to sleep.

Yeah, well,
well, I'm really bushed.

Wiped out. Sandman City.

Yeah. Want me
to tuck you in?

No, no. No,
I'm too old for that, Dad.

I'm into self-tucking.

That's no fair. I've only
had a son for two months,

and already,
he's a self-tucker.

Well, sweet dreams, son.

'Night, Dad.

Good night.

What's this?

It's a drawing of Big Toes.

Mr. Bradshaw saw him
in the cemetery last night.

He told me and Derek
what he looked like.

Rick, don't you find it
a little hard to believe

that a primitive
half-man half-beast

would be hanging around
our neighborhood?

But, Dad, Mr. Bradshaw
actually saw it.

He said it was 14 feet tall,

it was covered with hair,
and had big fangs.

Uh-oh. My first blind date
is back in town.

Dad, Mr. Bradshaw saw it
with his own eyes.

Rick, consider the source.
Mr. Bradshaw

isn't known as Weird Willy
for nothing, you know.

Last year, he dressed himself up
in colored lights

and told everybody
he was a Christmas tree.

Dad, Mr. Bradshaw

is not the only person
who's seen him.

Other people have, too.
Just wait.

Someday, somebody's gonna get
a picture of Big Toes,

and then people are gonna
have to believe in him.

Well, maybe so.

But maybe it's one of those
unsolvable mysteries

like the Loch Ness monster

or the disappearance
of Amelia Earhart

or why all waitresses
call you "honey."

Good night, son.

Good night, Dad.

[OWL HOOTING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[WINGS FLUTTER]

[LEAVES RUSTLING]

Who's there?

[RUSTLING]

Hello.

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHING]

That wasn't funny, Derek.

Maybe not to you, but from
this side of the headstone,

it was hilarious.

Come on,
we're here on a mission.

We're supposed to be
looking for Big Toes.

Hey, while we're waiting,

let's switch some of these
headstones around.

That way,
when people come here,

they'll be mourning
the wrong dead guy.

Derek, you're too young
to be this sick.

Hey, look at this.

"Here lies Herbert Watkins.

"He never skipped dessert.

"One day, he had a heart att*ck,

and now he's eating dirt."

Hey, check this one out.

"Of all the dynamite
factory workers,

"the best was Bill Simplosion.

"Until the day
he lit a cigarette,

and got run over
by a truck"?

[OWL HOOTING]

Hey, Rick, look at this.
Footprints.

Wow.

Gee, I never saw
a footprint like that.

Neither have I.

This would make Dr. Scholl
wake up screaming.

Derek, Big Toes
made these tracks.

Big Toes was here and...

there's a good chance
he'll come back.

Let's sit down
and wait for him.

[THUD]

[BOTH SCREAM]

Aah.

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Stop that.

You'll scare away
Big Toes.

I gotta do something. This place
is giving me the creeps.

You're not scared,
are you, Derek?

Scared?

Moi?

No way.

Good, because being out here

reminds me of
an old movie I saw

called Curse of
the Avenging Corpse.

It was about this guy
who knew he was gonna die,

but he swore
he'd come back from the grave.

And then one night,

the m*rder*r
came to the cemetery to gloat.

And while he was
standing over the grave,

ground opened up,

and the gross decomposed hand

reached up and grabbed--

Let's get out of here!

Oh, Rick.

Let's go.
It's gonna k*ll us.

[♪♪♪]

With what, bad music?

Derek...

I think it's Big Toes.

Yeah, yeah, it is him.
Come on, let's go.

Let's get a picture of it.

Rick, I got
a photographic memory.

Let's go home, and I'll
describe him all to you.

Come on.
Derek, come on.

Come on.

We come in peace.

We are friendly beings.

Hey, it's a gorilla.

No, it's an orangutan.

I'm gonna get his picture.

Wow, this guy's great.

Oh, he looks cold and hungry.

I think he likes me.

I wonder why he's out here
in the cemetery all by himself.

Hey, he could've escaped
from a zoo or a circus.

What's your name, fella?

"What's your name"?

Expect him to answer that?
Who's the monkey here?

All right, but then
we'll pick a name. Uh...

how about Fred?

Nah. He doesn't like that.

Well, um,
how about Bob?

Yeah. Yeah,
it is a little boring.

Um, Bruce?

I know. Harry.

Well,
then Harry it is.

Well, it sure does fit.

Harry, you want to
come home with me?

Go home with you?
Why should he go home with you?

We both saw him
at the same time, right?

Yeah, but Harry likes me.

Oh, yeah,
but Harry likes me, too.

Don't you, Harry?

Oh, what does that
fleabag know, anyway?

Look, Rick. It's important

that I take Harry home
with me tonight.

What do you mean
important?

I got this plan, see.

I'm gonna put Harry
in a nightgown

and slip him
into my father's bed.

I'm curious to see if my old man
notices anything different. Hah.

Forget it, Derek.

Harry needs
love, food, warmth.

Right, Harry?

What he really needs
is a good orthodontist.

Well, I guess it's time
to say goodbye.

So long, monkey.
You too, Harry.

Harry, do you want to
go home with me?

Let's go.

[GRUNTS]

Come on, Harry.
Pull yourself up here.

[GRUNTING]
Come on, Harry.

Harry, this is my room.
You like it?

Oh, sleepy, huh?

I'll make you
a nice little bed

right here on the floor,
next to me, okay?

Couple of pillows,

a nice blanket.

There we go. Nice and comfy.

Not bad,
if I say so myself.

Hop in, Harry.

Harry?

Harry?

Good night, Harry.

Come on, Harry.

Harry, I think you're gonna have
a great time here.

I think you'll like my dad,
and I sure hope he likes you.

Grab a seat.

What do you want to do now?
Play a game or something?

Do you play catch?

Do you roller skate?

What's the matter, guy?

Did you eat a bad banana?

Oh, you miss
your family, huh?

I know how that feels.

I never really had a family

until I came
to live with my dad.

But you can be
part of my family, okay?

So come on, let's see that
famous Harry smile.

Let's play some
cowboys and Indians.

Come over there.

Put your hands up.

Bang.

Harry?

Harry.

Harry, are you okay?

Thank goodness. I haven't had
that much luck with pets.

I've only had a gerbil
and a hamster, and...

they both d*ed.

Oh, no, don't worry.
They d*ed of old age.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

KATE: Ricky, can I come in?

Uh, just a second, Kate.

I'm-I'm wrapping
your birthday present.

You gotta hide.

Come on.

Ricky,
it was my birthday last month.

You brought me some flowers,
remember?

Oh, yeah.
That was nice of me.

Ricky, you've, uh,
been in your room all morning.

What's going on?

Nothing.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

You're right, Kate.

I really should
get out of my room.

Come on, let's go.

Who's in the bathroom?

Oh, nobody is.

See, the john
keeps flushing by itself.

It's terrible, Kate.
It kept me up all night.

I read about it. It's called
spontaneous flushing.

I never heard of such a thing.

Neither have I. It's new.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Someone's in the bathroom.
Who?

It's a surprise.

I'll be right down and tell you
all about it. Okay?

Oh.

Sounds mysterious.

No big deal.

[GARGLING]

Spontaneous gargling?

Harry. Harry.

Harry, now you behave, okay?

You gotta behave yourself

and you stay in this room,
okay?

By the way, uh,
you can keep the toothbrush.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You got him.

[GAME ENDS]

You had him.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, Rick. Kate tells me

you got some exciting
bathroom news.

Yeah, well, the thing is,

is that I read
this very interesting article

in my school newspaper.

It said that having a pet
is very healthy for a person.

It lowers your blood pressure,

helps prevents stress
and loneliness.

And they also found that
a lot of psychotic K*llers

did not have a pet
when they were my age.

I'm gonna take
a wild s*ab here, Rick.

Do you want a pet?

Oh, could I, please?

Well, sure, son.
What do you want?

A dog? A cat?
A goldfish?

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

How about an orangutan?

Don't be scared.
Guys, he won't hurt you.

Harry, I want you
to meet my dad.

Pleased to meet you, Harry.

And this is his secretary--
Kate Summers.

Nice to have met you.
Where did you get him from?

Me and Derek
found him in the cemetery.

He's Big Toes.

You and Derek were in
the cemetery last night?

I thought you were asleep.

But, Dad...

Ricky, you know better
than that.

It's dangerous
to go out alone at night.

Danger's nice.

I bet he escaped from
the, uh, Z-O-O.

I'll make a call.

Mwah.

Dad, when we found Harry,

he was scared,
lonely, hungry.

He doesn't have
anybody else.

Well, Ricky, Harry's...

Uh, would you excuse us
for a moment, Harry?

Thank you.

Ricky, I only had
one semester of zoology,

but I'm pretty positive

that orangutans
aren't native to Long Island.

Son, he must
belong to somebody.

Sure wish
I could keep him.

Rick, he's a wild animal.

There's nothing for an orangutan
to do around this house.

[PAC-MAN START-UP MUSIC PLAYS]

Of course,
he could adapt.

The zoo's not missing
any orangutans.

Then can I keep him?

Uh, now, Ricky,

maybe he belongs to somebody

who loves him
just as much as you do.

We're gonna have to
put some ads in the paper

and see if anybody claims him.

If nobody claims him,
then can I keep him?

Well...

Wouldn't you like to
live here with us, Harry?

Well, okay. In that case,

if nobody responds,
he can stay.

I'm high with a pair of aces.

I'll bet four.

I'll see you.

Yeah, I'm in.

Harry's in.

I've got three aces.

Oh, that beats me.

Well, that doesn't b*at

a full house. Ha ha ha.

Wait a minute.
What do you got here?

I'm sure you won.

Want to play
another hand, Harry?

Come on, Harry.

You gotta give us a chance
to win our cookies back.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Okay for you.

I've been letting you win
for three weeks now.

From now on,
no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Where's he going?

[♪♪♪]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

May I help you?

Yes. I'm inquiring about this--

Poppy. Hey, Poppy.

Yes, that's-that's my Poppy.
Poppy.

Do you know
this orangutan?

Of course. That's my Poppy.
We do an act together.

My name is Robert Geraldo
of Geraldo and Poppy.

Okay, Poppy and Geraldo.

Mister, are you sure
this is your orangutan?

Well, of course.
We do a magic act. Observe.

Hey, I will take
this orange here,

and I'm gonna throw it
up in the air,

and it's gonna to end up
here on this monkey's face.

One, two,

and that's close enough.

Now for the magic. Hey.

And nobody knows
where the orange--

And no--

♪ Ta-da ♪

Ah, ho.

Oh, Mr. Geraldo,
that's terrific.

But how did-
how did you lose Poppy?

Well, my truck
was stolen,

and when they found it,
Poppy was gone.

Oh, you must've been
worried sick.

Yeah, I couldn't sleep.

See, Poppy is like
my own son.

[LAUGHS]

Well, we're glad
to see you reunited.

Aren't we, Rick?

Yeah.

Mr. Geraldo,
Ricky found Poppy,

and he's taken
real good care of him.

Well, thank you.

I can see that.
I really appreciate it.

Don't worry. Uh...

Harry, uh... Poppy
wasn't any trouble at all.

Why don't we sit down,

and I'll get us
something to eat.

Thank you very much,
but we really must be going.

Before you leave,
could I say goodbye to Poppy?

Well, of course.
Poppy, go on. Say...

Go on. Say goodbye
to your friend. Go on.

Well, I...

guess you've got to leave now,
huh?

Sure am glad
you found your family and...

Mr. Geraldo seems like a--
seems like a real nice guy.

I sure am glad-glad to know
that you're in good hands.

Boy, we had some laughs,
didn't we?

I must tell you,
you can always come back here.

My window is always open.

I'm gonna miss you.

I love you, Harry.

[RICKY SNIFFLING]

Here.

Here, I, um,
want you to have this.

My dad gave it to me
the first time we met.

Now I want you to have it.

Goodbye, Harry.

Oh, how gallant.

Goodbye, Harry.

Goodbye, Harry.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face-to-face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪