02x02 - att*ck of the Giant Frog People

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are
Face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find
We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go
Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together
We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together
Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

-♪ You and I ♪
-♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

-♪ You and I ♪
-♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING
THROUGH TV]

[FROG CROAKING]

Oh, no,
the k*ller frogs are back!

That frog just gulped down
a whole skyscraper.

Yuck! He's using a policeman
to pick his teeth.

[AIRPLANE ENGINE REVVING]

All right! Here comes
the Air Force!

-Yay!
-And the Army!

Yay!

And the Marines!

-Yay!
-Woo!

And the entire eyewitness
news team.

-[expl*si*n]
-[LAUGHS] Yay!

[FROG CROAKING]

[STAMMERS] Is it over?

Yeah, you can look now, Freddy.

You know, it's hard to believe
that a human being

could turn into a giant frog.

[STAMMERS]

Freddy, Freddy, hey! It's okay,
buddy. I'm just kidding.

Oh! But the joke's on you,
Mr. Stratton.

-I was pretending to be scared.
-EDWARD: Ah!

Well, it's late, guys.
I already stretched the rules

letting you stay up
to watch that rotten trash.

Besides, I didn't wanna have
to suffer through it alone.

Okay, get in your sleeping bags,

and I don't want to hear
any talking

or horsing around, okay?
You sleep, right?

-Okay, Dad.
-Okay, goodnight, Son.

Goodnight, Dad.

Rick, what are you doing?

Dad, the guys are here.

What's wrong with hugging?

Can we talk about it
some other time?

Goodnight, Father.

Goodnight, Son.

Goodnight, Mr. Stratton.

-Goodnight, Freddy.
-Goodnight.

-Goodnight.
-Goodnight, J.T.

Goodnight, Derek.

God give you rest, sir.

Derek, why don't you go home
and give us a rest?

Well, I might as well turn in.

[CROAKS]

[CROAKS]

Uh-- uh he's kidding again,
isn't he?

Yes, he's kidding, Freddy.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom
and brush my teeth.

Got your Daffy Duck toothbrush?

For your information,
I don't have

a Daffy Duck toothbrush.

It's Snoopy.

Come on, J.T., It's time.

What are you guys doing?

We all know that horror movies
terrify Freddy,

so we decided to seize
a golden opportunity.

We got us a mess of frogs.

How many frogs are there
in a mess?

I don't know, four, five...

dozen.

Listen, guys, I admit
this is a pretty funny joke,

but, isn't it kind of mean?

Yep.

Okay. I just wanted to make sure
you knew that.

DEREK: Let's go.

-This is going to be great.
-I can't wait to see his face.

Hey! Let's use Freddy's
tape recorder.

Get us a souvenir
of the occasion.

[DOORKNOB CLATTERS]

Here he comes.

Shh!

[DOORKNOB CLATTERS]

The other way, Freddy.

Oh.

Oh. You guys
are in bed already?

ALL: Yeah.

Uh... [STAMMERS]
...I guess you guys

want the lights out, huh?

No, you can leave them on.

Thanks.

[DEREK LAUGHS]

[DEREK LAUGHS]

-[STAMMERS] Guys?
-[STAMMERS] Yes?

Uh, it feels like--

I mean, it's like--

Like what, Freddy?

Ah!

Help me!

Help me! They're slimy and wet!

Okay, joke's over, guys.
Come on.

[FREDDY SCREAMS] Help me.

Come on out, Freddy.
You'll be okay.

-[FREDDY GRUNTS]
-What's the matter, Fred,

frog in your throat?

RICKY: Give me the frog!

-EDWARD: Boys!
-The frog!

Come on.

-The laundry chute.
-DEREK: Yeah, hurry.

Sorry, guys.

I told you guys, go to sleep!

Mr. Stratton,
despite our herculean efforts,

we've been unable to suppress
the occasional giggle

that rises to our lips.

I'm sure that you've experienced
the same phenomenon

when you were a youth.

I did, Derek.

And usually when I giggled
like that,

It meant I was up to no good.

This man is wise.

Excuse me, Dad, I have to go
to the laundry room.

Why?

Well, it's a personal matter.

But, believe me,
you'll thank me for it later.

-Bed!
-Right.

-Sleep.
-ALL: Right.

[LAUGHS]

You guys realize how lucky
we are to have a wimp

like Freddy to kick around.

I mean, how many
100 percent nerds

are there in the world?

Come on, lay off Freddy.

You know, Rick. You have a real
serious flaw in your character.

-What's that?
-You feel sorry for the pitiful.

Oh, yeah? I don't feel sorry
for you.

Ooh! Humiliation, Taylor!

Rick, why are you always
sticking up for Freddy?

[CLEARS THROAT] Because...

well...

because...

because Freddy thinks
he's my friend.

[SCOFFS] Is he?

Well, what's the harm
if he thinks he is?

Oh, come on. Is or is not

Fredrick March Lippincottleman
your friend?

-Derek!
-Yes or no?

No.

Thank you, Mr. Stratton.
You may step down.

Guys, I'm really wiped out.
I'm going to catch some shuteye.

Yeah.

Freddy, come on out, it's time
to go to sleep, okay?

FREDDY: I'm not talking
to you guys.

Listen, are you coming out
or not?

Listen, give us one flush
for yes, and two flushes for no.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Does that mean
you're coming out?

FREDDY: No. I have to wait
for the t*nk to fill up.

Guys, I went down
to the laundry room.

The frogs have escaped.

They're probably all over
the place by now!

Freddy, come on out,
it's time to eat.

FREDDY: I'm not finished
dressing yet.

I still have to put on my shoes
and socks.

Socks go on first!

Hey, Freddy, we recorded you
last night.

You wanna hear
why you're number one

on the wimp parade?

Derek, bag the low blows.

Great. He locked himself
in again.

I hope you're happy.

No, not totally. Eventually,
he'll come out again.

Listen, Freddy, come on out.
I want to talk to you.

DEREK OVER RADIO: Oh, come on.
Is or is not

Fredrick March Lippincottleman
your friend?

RICKY OVER RADIO: Derek!

DEREK OVER RADIO: Yes or no?

RICKY OVER RADIO: No.

Freddy, let me explain.

Rick, you told me
I was your friend.

And you're the only person
in the whole world

who's ever told me that,

and I believed you!

Boy, I really am a jerk.

[FROG CROAKING]

[CROAKS]

[CROAKING]

-Hey, Kate, look what I found.
-[SCREAMS]

Don't ever do that again!

Never ever, ever, ever, ever!

-Oh, I'm sorry.
-[SIGHS]

I think he's kinda cute, though.

I call him "Bud."

I thought I'd come here and say,
"This bud's for you."

There's another one
of those creatures

in the wastebasket.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Hey, we found you a buddy, Bud.

-[LAUGHS]
-(RATTLE]

Rick, what's the matter
with Freddy?

Isn't he going to have breakfast
with J.T. and Derek?

Kate, why are you sitting
on a wastebasket?

[GASPS]
This is not a wastebasket.

It's now a Club Med for frogs.

[WASTEBASKET RATTLING]

Son, a lot more frogs
unusual seem to be hopping

around the house.

Care to kick around
a few theories?

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Um. I think I read the newspaper

that there's a bumper crop
of frogs this year.

Yeah.
They're calling it a frog...

A frog, uh...

-Epidemic?
-Oh, you heard about it.

Anyway, uh...

The reason Freddy left is 'cause
the guys kinda pulled

a rough trick on him last night.

Let me take a wild guess.

This have anything
to do with frogs?

See, the guys think
that Freddy's a nerd and...

-they get on his case a lot.
-Oh, that doesn't seem fair.

Well, he is a real easy target.

I mean, he wears these stupid
rubber things

to keep his eyeglasses on
during gym class.

He has
a plastic pocket protector

with printing on that says, "Hi,

I'm a Lippincottleman."

Listen,
Freddy's at a very awkward age.

It's very hard to be different
from all the other kids.

They zero in
on your shortcomings.

They taunt you and bait you,
and start calling you names,

like "Stringbean."

We never called Freddy
"Stringbean."

Or "Ironing Board"...

or "Carpenter's Dream"...

or "Noodlebod!"

-Kate--
-Oh, sure. They trick you

Into thinking that they like you
and accept you.

By inviting you
to their parties.

But what happens
when you get there, huh?

They give you a gag gift
like a padded bra.

Then they point and laugh,

and say things like, "it's--

it's what's up front
that counts."

And that hurts so bad,
that all you want to do

is slick away hide for the rest
of your life.

Honey, I had no idea.

Oh, I'm not being personal here.

This was just a general example.

-Certainly, it is.
-Yes.

I would never have called you
Noodlebod.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Rick, when the other guys
make fun of Freddy,

do you join in?

Well, everybody thinks
he's a nerd...

and if I speak up for him...

Yeah?

Well, that'll make me
a nerd by association.

That is no excuse.

You should stand up for him.

Well, that's one way
to handle it, yeah.

Meaning, you wouldn't handle it
that way?

Meaning, I think we should
offer alternatives

and let Ricky decide
how to handle it.

What alternatives are there?

To help ruin a poor kid's life?

-Guys.
-Kate, I don't think you realize

that you're overidentifying
with Freddy here.

I realize, that I am saying
exactly what I think.

And I think you should tell
your son to do the right thing.

I think I should let my son
decide for himself

what the right thing to do is.

-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Door!

I'll get it.

In this situation,

there's a right to do
and a wrong thing to do.

Am I right or wrong?

EDWARD: Honey, do you see
what's happening?

You're letting
your emotional involvement

cloud your perspective.

KATE: Emotional Involvement?
Cloud a perspective?

Make up your mind, Edward.
Are you a psychologist

or a weatherman?

I forgot my shoe.

KATE: It's a question
of moral leadership.

You have an obligation
to tell your son

to make the right choice.

Honey, I can't live his life
for him.

Your son asked you for help
and he's not here now.

-Doesn't that upset you?
-No. Because I have confidence

that Ricky will make
the best decision for himself.

-You want to know something?
-What?

You're right!

-You want to know something?
-What?

It takes a mighty big person
to say that.

Right again.

Can I have a kiss?

-Sure!
-Thanks.

Listen, Freddy,
can I talk to you a second?

Why don't you talk to J.T.
and Derek? They're your friends.

Listen, I don't blame you
for being mad.

What we did last night
was pretty low and...

When I caved in to Derek
and J.T.

and said I wasn't your friend...

that was even lower.

But, I want you to know
that I'm--

I'm sorry.

You're apologizing to me?

-Yeah.
-Really?

-Yeah.
-Can you put it on tape?

Don't push it, Freddy.

Okay.

-Just accept my apology.
-Okay.

-Stop saying okay.
-Okay.

You see,
that's one of the reasons

people pick on you.

Because no matter what they say,
you always agree with them.

You're right.

-You're doing it again.
-Oh, you're right.

Oh, Rick, I'll try not to agree
with everybody anymore.

Good...

because I want you to know...

-that I like you.
-No, you don't.

-Yes, I do.
-No, you don't.

-Will you stop it?
-Rick! You told me not to agree.

Rick, are you just saying
you like me

because you feel guilty?

No. I'm saying it
because you have a...

a lot of good qualities.

A lot of them.

A whole bunch come to mind.

I'm just trying to arrange them
in proper order.

I'm ready when you are.

Okay. Here it is.

You're a real generous person.

You loan people your money,
your records, and your clothes.

And this other quality
is something I need to work on.

You're loyal to your friends.

I guess I am.

Listen, I think that Derek
and J.T. would start like you

if you just stand up
for yourself.

I stood up for myself once,
and I got b*at up.

Remember Sally Stevenson?

Yeah, but she's pretty tough
for a ten-year-old.

No kidding.

Listen, standing up for yourself

doesn't always mean
slugging the other person

Uh. What do I do when J.T.
and Derek put me down?

Derek is always making fun
of me.

Well, you've got feelings!

Don't let them get away with it.

Say, something back like,
"Look, Derek.

If you want to have
a put-down contest,

I'll take out my brain,
and we'll start even."

Ooh. That's a good one, Rick.

Hi, guys.

Hey, Freddy, if we knew
you're gonna come out

of the bathroom,
we would've saved

some breakfast for you.

Got any gravy train around,
Rick?

Look, Derek, if you want to have
a put-down contest,

you take out your brain,
and we'll start even.

What a jerk!

Stop laughing at me!

Rick told me I have feelings...

and I believe him.

All my life, people have been
making fun of me.

They say, "Shut up, Freddy,"
and I say, "Okay."

Well, it's not okay.

-Come on, come on.
-I'm not a wimp!

I'm a human being!

Could've fooled me.

Hey, Derek,

don't talk that way
about my friend.

Yeah, lighten up, Taylor.

What is this a meeting
of the Bleeding Hearts Society?

Come on, we've been making fun
of this guy for years now,

it's our tradition.

It's not my fault
Freddy's only talent

is being a wimp.

Oh, yeah?

Being a wimp
is not my only talent.

Now, step aside.

Move on back.

Okay, do a tiny step...

Time step.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Together
We're going to find our way ♪

♪ Together
Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons... ♪