02x18 - A Summer's Romance: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

-♪ You and I ♪
-♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

-♪ You and I ♪
-♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

Hi, Dad.

Hey, Son. Look at these.

Eddie toys are gonna
distribute these.

They are for people who like
to go jogging in the rain.

Hey, that's pretty awesome.

But why not add
an a*t*matic defogger?

Come on, that would be...

silly.

Dad, remember I told you that
Leslie's coming over tonight?

Uh-huh. You're gonna rehearse
that play she wrote

-for drama class, right?
-Yeah, well.

I'm kinda worried that her play

is gonna have
a lot of Mushy stuff in it.

I mean, she's head over heels
in love with me.

She worships the ground
I walk on.

Son, you shouldn't say
things like that.

I didn't say them, Dad.

She did.

Well, have you tried telling her
that you just don't feel

the same way about her
that she does about you?

Not exactly.
Well, it's hard to say that

to a girl who thinks
you're a Greek god.

-She said that too?
-No.

That one she wrote
on the blackboard. [SIGHS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

That's probably her.

Yeah. Whoopee.

Come on, be nice.

-[EDWARD SIGHS]
-[REMOTE CLICKS]

Hi, Ricky.

Hello, Leslie.

This is my mom.
She's dropping me off.

Hi, I'm--

Veronica!

Edward! [GASPS]

-Hello! [LAUGHS]
-Hello!

I'm gonna take
a wild guess here.

You guys know each other?

Oh, Son,
this is Veronica Woosterman.

I thought
she was Veronica Cranbottom.

Woosterman was her maiden name.

Then she married my dad
and became a Cranbottom.

I can't believe this.

When Edward and I
were in college,

we spent the summer
as camp counselors.

He was working at a boys' camp
on one side of the lake

and I was working
at a girls' camp

on the other side.

Do you want to start
rehearsing my play?

Okay. Dad,
we'll be in the library.

Hmm? Oh-- Okay, Son.

If you want,
you can use the library.

Isn't it weird
that my mom knows your dad?

-Well, it's--
-How do you like my dress?

-Well--
-How do you like the color?

My woman's intuition told me
you'd prefer me in red.

Was I right?

Right.

I look at you and I see red.

Uh-- Let's start rehearsing
your play.

Okay. This is the first play
I've ever written,

but I must admit,
it's marvelous.

Here.

"Love gets a nose job...

by Leslie Ann Cranbottom."

What's it about?

Okay. It's about a brilliant
plastic surgeon

who is loved and adored
by a really big-nosed patient.

Well, I guess I don't mind
playing the doctor.

I'm playing the doctor, Rick.
Don't be sexist.

But Leslie,
it doesn't make sense for me

to be the patient.

I don't have
a particularly big nose.

You do now.

You know I still remember

how run-down
those buildings were.

Every cabin leaked
at Camp Wumpagump.

[LAUGHS] Yeah, it was the same
for us guys

on our side of the lake.

At least you had a neat
Indian name like Wumpagump.

I remember being
very embarrassed to tell people

I was a counselor
at Camp Al Bernstein.

[LAUGHS]

Do you remember
how we first met?

How could I forget?
It was after dinner one night.

A sumptuous feast
of soggy toast

covered with creamed--
God knows what.

And I decided to take swim out
to the diving platform

in the middle of the lake.

And I was already
on the diving platform.

I looked out
and saw you swimming toward me.

I remember thinking... [GASPS]

..."Oh, Gee. I'm all alone
what if he makes a pass at me?"

Then I got a good look at you
and I thought,

"Gee, I hope he makes
a pass at me."

But, oh, no.
You were a perfect gentleman,

very charming and polite,

and impressive,

with a name like
Edward Stratton III.

I mean I'd met a second before,
but never a third.

Well, what about you?

You introduced yourself
as Tuesday Woosterman.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I was a big fan
of Tuesday Weld then.

So was I.

I remember we sat, talked

as the sun went down.

You were passionately
against the w*r at Vietnam.

Your dream was
to be a sculpturist.

Oh, and you hated the way

big corporations
were polluting the environment.

And you absolutely adored
classical music.

Oh, you were worried
about inheriting

your grandfather's tendency
to get warts.

And you checked the mirror
every morning

to see if your ankles
are getting thicker.

For the rest of that summer,

we were together
every possible moment.

Yeah. [SIGHS]

I was very much in love
with you.

And I with you.

-Well. [EXHALES]
-Well.

-It's been a long time.
-Yeah.

A lot of water
under the old diving platform.

So, Mr. Stratford...

You want me
to give you a nose job.

Yes, Doctor.

And by the way,
you're gorgeous.

I know.

Listen, you sure need to fix
your schnoz.

I don't wanna be rude,

but that's the biggest honker
I've ever seen.

It's true, my nose
is embarrassingly big,

but there's nothing wrong
with my eyes.

I can't take them off
of you,

you incredibly
beautiful creature.

Well, come back in an hour,
and I'll operate on you.

-Bye.
-Bye.

Doctor, I've got a confession
to make.

I've fallen deeply in love
with you?

Oh...

Why am I cursed

with this legendary
gorgeousness?

Why does every man I meet
fall hopelessly in love with me?

Why?

Why?

Why?

You got me.

-That's not your line.
-Oh, I'm sorry.

Doctor, men love you
because you have brains,

skill, and beauty
that'll make a dead man dance.

That's my favorite line.

It says that I'm supposed
to kiss you now.

I can't do that.

Don't worry,
I'm supposed to stop you.

Oh, okay.

I thought you were supposed
to stop me.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Let's try it again.

So I married Leslie's father

because I wanted
stability and security.

He shampoos rugs,
and he's an expert at it.

Well, it's a good clean living.

True, but we had trouble
communicating.

I wanted to talk
Michelangelo versus Rodin,

and he wanted to talk
shag versus deep pile.

Personally, I go with Rodin
and deep pile.

Finally, we divorced.

He kept the business,
I kept the house.

And twice a year,
he steams the carpet.

Since then,
I've dated occasionally.

Nothing serious.
What about you?

Are you, uh-- Involved?

Yes.

Her name's Kate Summers.
She's my personal assistant.

Accent on personal?

Yeah.

Kate is... [SIGHS]

...bright, pretty...

sensitive, caring.

Did I mention bright and pretty?

Edward, it's been 15 years.
Have you thought about me?

Not really. [CHUCKLES]

Well...

occasionally.

Twice a week, tops.

Uh, look--

Edward, what we had was special
and it ended far too soon.

I've always felt that if fate
ever brought us together again,

we would never part.

Listen, Veronica, uh...

what we had was very special
and it was a long time ago.

And now, I really am very much
in love with, uh--

Uh...

-Kate.
-Thank you.

Anyway, I hope you understand.

Oh, I understand.

But I think it's only fair
to warn you,

I'm not giving up.

Oh, I wish you would.

[TRAIN HORN BLARES]

Ha! It's Kate.

Hi, Kate!

It's Kate!

-Whoa!
-Whoa! Hi, Kate.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Uh-- Am I interrupting anything?

No, no, no.
This is Kate Summers.

This is Veronica Cranbottom.

A pleasure to meet you.

Veronica is, Uh, uh--

Leslie's mother.

Edward, aren't you
leaving something out?

No, I don't think so. Nope.

Edward and I are old friends.

Oh, how nice!

Old friends. Very old.

We were both camp counselors
one summer.

-Yep.
-[LAUGHS] Oh, how nice.

We were very young.
Very young.

We had a mad, passionate
summer romance.

Ah, well, Veronica,
now, Edward is having

a mad, passionate
Summers romance.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Yes, he told me.

Well, I think I'd better
be leaving now.

Leslie!

Yes, Mother?

Come on, honey.
It's time for us to go.

But we're still rehearsing.

Well, you can finish
rehearsing tomorrow.

-Bye, Ricky.
-RICKY: Bye.

Show business is my life.

Good-bye, Edward.
Ms. Summers.

-Oh, bye.
-Oh, bye-bye.

Kate, honey, darling.

I stopped off
at the video store

and I rented us a copy
of Superman III.

Hey, great!

Maybe I should've also gotten us
a copy of,

"Same Time, Next Year?"

[BOTH LAUGH]

[CLEARS THROAT] Kate, listen,
maybe I should explain

the way things were
between me and...

-uh-- uh--
-Veronica?

Thank you.

-She's very pretty.
-Oh, is she?

I didn't notice.

-She has lovely green eyes.
-Blue.

Uh, not blue. Uh-- Orange?

Pink?

Well, like I said,
I didn't notice.

Why do I feel so guilty?
I haven't done anything.

I know you haven't
done anything.

So why am I so worried?

Kate...

my relationship with Veronica
was a long time ago...

and I'm with you now.

You're all I want.

Thank you.

That's exactly what I needed
to hear.

[EXHALES]

-Hi!
-[SCREAMS]

-Veronica.
-Your butler let me in.

Oh, what are you doing here?

I mean, it's nice to see you,
but what are you doing here?

I'm sorry.
What I mean to say is,

what are you doing here?

Last night when I went home
I found the diary I kept

of our summer together.

Look what I wrote.

"Dear diary, I could just die.

I looked in the mirror
this morning

and saw a hair
on my upper lip."

That's the wrong entry. Listen.

July 28th. Dear diary, today,
Edward and I had a picnic

by the lake, we sipped wine,
held each other,

and Edward said that
in the history of the world,

no two people were
ever more in love."

Refresh my memory.
Did I say that before or after

I accidentally sat
in the potato salad?

-Before.
-Ah.

Edward.

In honor of that occasion,

I thought, that maybe
we should have a picnic.

Today. Right here. Right now.

Right here? Right now?

Sure. Why not?
For old times' sake.

-Well, Veronica--
-Surprise.

I had to go to three stores
but I finally found

the same Chinese wine
we had 15 years ago.

Wow.
Ding hoy wine.

Good year, too.
Year of the dog.

I'm sorry, Leslie,

but what it comes down to is,
I just--

I just can't say the lines
you've written for me.

At least not in public.

And besides, the fake nose
you gave me

accidentally got flushed down
the toilet.

Forget the play, Ricky.

I wanna talk to you
about your dad and my mom.

What about them?

They used to be in love
with each other.

-Come on!
-Yeah.

-Get out of here.
-Really.

-You're lying.
-I swear.

When they were camp counselors,

they had a romantic
summer fling.

-Come on.
-Yeah.

-Get out of here.
-Really.

-You're lying.
-I swear.

Edward.

I told you last night that,

even though
you're presently involved

with a lady and by the way,
you were right,

Kate is a beautiful
and charming woman.

Oh, thank you.

Even though you're involved,
I don't see why we can't spend

some time together
to see if anything...

-[CORK POPS]
-[GRUNTS]

...pops.

Listen, Veronica,

I think it's great
that you tried to make

this picnic, but I don't want
to lead you on.

I have to be honest with you
and tell you--

Yes?

I hate potato salad.

Look.

Here's a picture of your dad
kissing my mom.

All I see is a back
of a guy's head.

That could be anybody.

Here's a picture of my mom
kissing your dad.

All I see is the back
of a lady's head.

That could be anybody.

Here's another one.

Okay, so they were in love.

But that was a long time ago.

My dad's in love with Kate now.

Not for long.

What's that supposed to mean?

My mother told me

she was going to get
your father back.

And my mother always gets
what she wants.

-So, after they get married--
-Married?

Sure.

If I were your father, I'd start
looking for a good caterer.

But what about Kate?

If I were her,

I'd start looking
for a good singles' bar.

[SIGHS]

What's the matter?

I just thought of something
really awful.

What?

Oh, well. C'est la vie.

What is it?

Well, you see,
if your mom marries my dad,

That'll make you my stepsister.

We won't be able to get married.

[GASPS]

I've got to talk to my mom
about this.

She's ruining my whole future.

-Bye.
-Hi, Leslie.

LESLIE: Bye.

-Hi, Ricky.
-Hi, Kate.

Kate?

-Yeah?
-Can I talk to you for a second?

Okay.

You want a bite
of my chocolate turtle?

Kate, why are you
eating this junk?

Do you wanna get fat?

Ricky, I'm not getting fat.

Am I getting fat?

I'm getting fat.

You're not fat,
but you can't afford to get fat.

You could just be
three chocolates turtles away

from a singles bar.

Ricky, what are you
talking about?

Sit down, Kate.

I've got some bad news.

But I'm counting on you
to be strong.

Can you be strong, Kate?

[CLEARS THROAT] I'll try.

Good. Good, good, good.

Well, I-- I guess I better
just come right out with it.

My dad used to be in love
with another woman.

Here's a picture of him
kissing her.

[CHUCKLES] All I see
is the back of a guy's head.

It could be anybody.

Here, let me show you.

Ricky, I already know
about your father

-and Leslie's mother.
-You do?

-Um hm.
-How come you're so calm?

I know.
You've hired a hit man, right?

[LAUGHS] Of course not.

Well, I'm calm because I know
that Edward loves me now.

Don't be cocky, Kate.

Leslie told me that
her mother's out to get my dad.

And I'm real worried.
Those Cranbottom women

are capable of anything!

Well, I'm not worried. Honest.

She's a flash
from my dad's past.

Well, I'm a flash
from his present.

Ricky, I'm secure
with my relationship

with your father.

I'd never do anything
to hurt it.

And I know in my heart
he'd never do anything either.

Kate, all I see is the back
of a guy's head.

That could be anybody.

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two Silver spoons ♪