02x16 - The Gay Caballero

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Zorro". Aired: October 10, 1957 –; July 2, 1959.*
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Series is set in Los Angeles of the early nineteenth century, when it was part of the old Spanish California, where the people are oppressed by their rulers.
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02x16 - The Gay Caballero

Post by bunniefuu »

( dramatic theme playing)

(Latin music playing)

(crowd cheering)

(crowd cheering)

( dramatic theme playing)

Help! Help! Help!

Help, I'm being robbed.

Help.

He's in there. A robber
all dressed in black.

He stole my jewels. Zorro!

(announcer reading
on-screen text)

( dramatic theme playing)

♪ Oh, the life Of
a Spanish lancer ♪

♪ Is not the life of a dancer ♪

♪ It's rough as only A
soldier's life can be ♪

Sí.

♪ We ride all day
In the saddle ♪

♪ We're constantly
In the battle ♪

♪ Till we're only
Skin and bones ♪

♪ As you can see ♪

Sí.

♪ But when the battle's over ♪

♪ And the enemies take flight ♪

♪ The tired lancer
Wends his weary way ♪

♪ To the cheerful
Village tavern ♪

♪ Where the soldier's
Heart is light ♪

♪ As he opens A bottle
of sherry or Tokay ♪

Tokay?

Olé.

♪ Viva el vino The
friend of the soldier ♪

♪ Viva el vino The
faithful friend of man ♪

♪ Your dog may bite you
Your horse may kick you ♪

♪ But you can count
on el vino Yes, you can ♪

♪ Viva el vino The
friend of the soldier ♪

♪ Viva el vino The
faithful friend of man ♪

♪ Your dog may bite
Your horse may kick ♪

♪ Your wife may leave
you Children grieve you ♪

♪ Viva el vino Viva el vino ♪

BOTH: ♪ The
faithful friend of man ♪

El vino.

(crowd cheering)

It's a hard life being a
soldier, eh, sergeant?

Yeah, a very hard life.

You should learn to
relax more, sergeant.

These long hours in the saddle,

they are beginning
to show on you.

Tut-tut-tut. Just
skin and bones.

I ride when there
is reason to ride,

when there is trouble,
something to ride to.

Or from. Like the time
when Zorro chased you...

That's enough, corporal.

There is still 2000 pesos reward

for the capture of Zorro.

Isn't that reason to ride?

You could pay me
everything you owe me.

Can you not understand?

When there is trouble,

I am busy.

I have no time
to ride after Zorro.

But when there is
no trouble, like now,

then there is no Zorro.

So how can I ride after him?

Oh, that's the
trouble, eh, sergeant?

INNKEEPER: Sergeant, I...

(bell jingling)

The coach from Santa
Barbara? So soon?

( soft theme playing)

You are alone, señor?

Obviously not.

I mean, there were no other
passengers on the coach?

None that I happened to meet.

Now, if you will
please excuse me.

One moment, please.

(crowd laughing)

You dance divinely,
sergeant, but if you don't mind,

can we continue this
some other time, eh?

I am Sergeant
Demetrio Lopez Garcia,

acting comandante of
the pueblo de Los Angeles.

I must see your papers
and inspect your baggage.

Is there no other form of
amusement in California

other than rummaging
through the baggage of visitors?

(crowd laughing)

GARCIA: Your name, señor?

Estevan de la Cruz.

You are from?

Potrero de Santiago, Barcelona.

Barcelona. That's in Spain.

Yes, I know.

May I ask, señor,

what is your business
here in Los Angeles?

I have come in
search of my fortune.

I was told this was the
country of opportunity.

(crowd laughing)

Uh, not that I do not
trust you, sergeant.

Merely a precaution of
a very conservative man.

I must see what is
in that pouch, señor.

Please?

(crowd gasping)

Now, sergeant, if there are
no further questions, uh...

Please, it's been
a very long trip.

But I have not yet
inspected your baggage.

Go right ahead,
sergeant, corporal.

In the meanwhile,

I invite the rest of you to
be my guests in the tavern.

(crowd cheering)

A very hard life being
a soldier, eh, sergeant?

Come on, corporal, let's hurry.

(chatter)

(music playing)

MAN: Hey! Wow.

(crowd cheering)

(crowd cheering, yelling)

Go on, go on.

(laughing)

We were just amusing
ourselves, sergeant,

until you completed your work.

I trust you are
all done? Oh, sí.

Never have I seen a man
with so much baggage.

And on such a hot day.

It is very thirsty work
inspecting baggage.

Oh, uh, now, I have a few
questions to ask you, sergeant.

Oh. What kind of questions?

Sit down, please, huh?

Señor... Now, look, sergeant...

No, gracias, no, no, no.

Now, look, sergeant.

I am going to need
a place to live in

during my stay in Los Angeles.

Do you have any suggestions?

Well, this is the
only inn, señor.

Have you inquired...?
A room here in the inn?

(laughing): Why,
that is unthinkable.

There would be hardly
enough room for my baggage.

That is true.

No, I will need at least
an hacienda with servants.

You do have some fine
haciendas in this area, do you not?

But not any that rent out
rooms, Señor de la Cruz.

I have no intentions
of renting a room.

I will need the entire place.

Now, uh, in Santa
Barbara and Monterey,

I was told that the
de la Vega hacienda

is a very outstanding one.

It is said to be
one of the finest

in all of California.

But I do not think
they plan to sell it.

Nor do I plan to buy it.

I will merely take it over.

Would you be so good
as to escort me there?

Take it over?

I do not think Don
Alejandro and Don Diego

would like that very much.

All I ask is that you
escort me, protect me.

After making me
publicly display my jewels,

is that asking too much?

One moment, please, señor.

The refreshments, señor,
the things you ordered.

It was my understanding
that you would pay for them.

Oh, sí, of course.

You are a sporting
man, are you not?

We'll flip a coin.
Double or nothing.

You choose.

I choose tails.

It's too bad, this
must be my lucky day.

One moment, please, señor.

I did not get a very good look.

I have never seen
a coin like this.

How can you tell
which side is heads?

How can I tell which side
is heads? Ha, ha, ha, ha.

By the saints.

I thought every schoolboy
could tell heads from tails

on a Spanish florentavo.

NACHO: I beg your pardon,
señor. I do not mean to be so stupid.

But we are so isolated here,
so out of touch with the world.

(laughing): Think no more of it.

MAN: Adiós, amigo.
WOMAN: Adiós, amigo.

There goes a fine man.

So generous too.

Sí.

( soft theme playing)

(speaking in Spanish)

Oh, sergeant, help
me move this table.

I want to move it this way, huh?

The table? Sí, por favor.

Vamos. Pronto,
pronto. Cójala ya.

Such poor taste. The
room was so cluttered.

Yes, this is much better.

Yes, sergeant, I think this
place will be quite adequate.

At least for my brief
stay in Los Angeles.

Thank you for your help.

I have just talked
to the major-domo.

He expects Don
Alejandro and Don Diego

to return at any moment.

Please, señor, leave now,
before somebody gets k*lled.

Oh, I had no thought
of k*lling them.

I will merely put them out.

I may even, uh...

Yes, I may even allow them

to take a few of their
personal belongings.

Don Alejandro, he may
have different ideas.

Sí. He may not like it.

You do not know Don Alejandro.

When he gets mad,
you should see him.

Apparently, I am about
to have that pleasure.

( suspenseful theme playing)

(inaudible)

(laughing):
Alejandro. Alejandro.

Uncle Estevan. Diego, my boy.

What in the world are
you doing in California?

Why did you not let us
know you were coming?

( dramatic theme playing)

At least you could have
told me you were a relative.

Then I would not
have been so worried

about Don Alejandro
running you through.

Sí, people can't help
it if they have relatives.

I apologize, sergeant.

To show there are
no hard feelings,

I invite you and the
corporal to the party tonight.

The party?

DIEGO: What party is this?

The party you are giving for me,

to celebrate my arrival, to
introduce me to your friends.

(chuckles)

Well, don't tell me
there is another party

planned for tonight also.

No, Estevan. There
is no other party.

Just the one, welcoming
you to our hacienda.

Well, when you
get to the pueblo,

you might ask the
coach driver to come also.

He was most accommodating.
And the innkeeper too.

Oh, and all of the people I
met at the tavern this afternoon.

(laughing): The more,
the merrier, I always say.

(chuckles)

Uncle Estevan hasn't
changed a bit, has he?

I doubt if he ever will.

Diego, your mother
was a wonderful woman.

But as for the rest
of the family, ha.

(Latin music playing)

Well, Diego, my boy.

You should not be stuck
off in a corner like this. Here.

Beautiful young ladies
and handsome young men

belong to each other.

(laughing): Go on, dance.

Don Estevan. Oh,
gracias, sergeant.

Salud, eh? Salud.

Gracias, huh?

Ah, you have a most
beautiful daughter,

Don Marcos, and
a splendid dancer.

Gracias.

And you do remarkably
well too, I noticed,

for a man of your age.

Señor, I do not consider
myself a man of my age.

I meant no offense.

Oh, you said earlier you
had something to show me?

Ah.

(inaudible)

A thousand pardons.
Oh, no, no, no.

I must speak with
you, Diego. It is urgent.

You will excuse us?

Of course, Don Alejandro.

Gracias, Margarita.

What is all this
about? It is Estevan.

He is taking our friends and
neighbors aside one by one,

showing them some jewels
he says he brought from Spain.

I'm afraid he's trying
to sell them jewels

that are, well, not genuine.

Well, you don't think that
Uncle Estevan would...?

Well, this would put us
in a very strange position.

Precisely. We would have to
repay whatever money he took.

Even then, we would
never live it down.

Ah.

Bernardo, I want you
to do something for us.

You know that bag of
jewels that my uncle has?

We've got to get
it away from him.

Never mind, just get it.

Yes, and hurry
back with the jewels

before he knows they are gone.

(knuckles cr*ck)

Please, Don Marcos, I don't
mean to sound adamant,

but that is not the reason
I showed you the jewels.

I'm not sure I could bring
myself to part with them.

Any of them.

But you will be
returning to Spain.

You can buy others.

At least sell me the
one diamond I admired,

for my daughter.

It is the most beautiful
stone I have ever seen.

Ah, then perhaps
you can understand

my reluctance to part with it.

Suppose I offered 1500 pesos.

Would that help you
to change your mind?

Fifteen hundred
pesos? Well, I...

Cuidado, cuidado.

(sighs)

It's all right, I'm not
going to b*at you.

He cannot hear you.

Ah.

Uh, really, Don Marcos, I'll
have to be honest with you.

I do not think the diamond
is worth 1500 pesos.

I mean on the regular
market in Spain.

I am not discussing what it
is worth on the regular market.

I am discussing what it is
worth to me here in California.

Did you get it?

Good boy, Bernardo.

Well, where is it?

What have we
gotten ourselves into?

Diego, how well do you know

this little deaf-mute
servant of yours?

Very well. He's been
with me for years. Why?

He's a pickpocket.

He took my chamois bag of
jewels right out of my pocket

while he pretended
to be wiping off

some wine that he spilled on me.

Uh, Estevan, this is
a serious accusation.

You should not make
it if you're not sure.

DIEGO: Yes, how do
you know he took it?

Because I took it out of his
pocket before he got away.

I just thought I
should warn you.

Personally, I never
would trust a man

with such, uh, nimble fingers.

Now I'll have to go to my room
and put on a clean chaqueta.

Look at this. Look.

(exhales)

(sighs)

May the saints give me strength.

What do we do now?

I don't know.

Maybe you can talk with him.

Talk with him?
Within five minutes,

he would have me
bidding on the things.

Your uncle, he has
a way with people.

Well, the only other
thing I can think of

is that, uh, maybe
Zorro should come along,

relieve Uncle
Estevan of the jewels.

Yes. That's the
only thing we can do.

All right, send
Bernardo to my room.

And make it look
inconspicuous, eh?

( menacing theme playing)

( suspenseful theme playing)

(yells)

(jingles)

Help! Help! Help!

Help, I'm being robbed.

Help.

He's in there. A robber
all dressed in black.

He stole my jewels. Zorro.

( dramatic theme playing)

(crowd chatter)

Don Alejandro, may I...?

( dramatic theme playing)

Do not worry, Don
Estevan. We will find him.

Lancers. Lancers.

Search the
hacienda. It is Zorro.

It is too bad, Estevan,
but those things happen.

Sometimes they even
happen for the best.

Where is Diego? Send him
to me. I want to talk to him.

I will go find him.

Wait a minute, Marcos, please.

Help me make
Estevan comfortable.

I tell you I'm all right.
I want to talk to Diego.

I think his little deaf-mute
servant is mixed up in this.

Bernardo? I just
can't believe it.

ESTEVAN: Alejandro knows.

He tried to steal the
jewels earlier this evening.

Now, I think I recognized
him here in my room

just before I was
hit over the head.

Go get Diego. Where is he?

I... I think he's busy,
uh, right at the moment.

(sighs)

One moment, señores.

I'll trouble you for
that bag of jewels.

GARCIA: It's Zorro. Get him.

ZORRO: These are
the men you want.

Now, don't let them get away.

Those are the men
we want, lancers.

Don't let them get away.

Want? For what?

( dramatic theme playing)

GARCIA: Stop him. Stop him.

Lancers, open the
gates. Open the gates.

Stand back, all of you.

( dramatic theme playing)

There are your jewel
thieves, sergeant.

And if they do not confess,

I'll come back and
loosen their tongues.

Stop him. Don't
let him get away.

Well, it was a wonderful party.

Only I wish someone
could explain to Bernardo

that I'm sorry I misjudged him.

I'm sorry about your
jewels, Uncle Estevan.

You know, it's getting
so you don't know who

you can trust these days,

when even a respectable
outlaw like Zorro turns jewel thief.

(chuckling)

This el Zorro. Let
him keep the jewels.

It would serve him right.

(laughing)

And you know something?

I think I could almost
learn to like it here.

Yes, I may decide
to stay for a while.

( dramatic theme playing)

What is it, Diego?

Tornado is missing.

ANNOUNCER: The reckless
Don Estevan hatches a plot

to capture Zorro.

Don Estevan, this
is Zorro's horse.

After I win the race,
we will turn him loose

and he will go straight home,

straight to Zorro.

Sí, he will.

Then all we have to do is
follow him and collect the reward.

( dramatic theme playing)

ANNOUNCER: Next
week, share in all the action,

adventure and excitement

that marks the
colorful life of Zorro.

( upbeat theme playing)
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