03x12 - 8 1/2 Months - November 15, 1955

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Quantum Leap" Aired: March 26, 1989 – May 5, 1993.*
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Former scientist Sam is trapped in time due to an experiment gone awry, leaping into different bodies each week.
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03x12 - 8 1/2 Months - November 15, 1955

Post by bunniefuu »

Theorizing that one could
time-travel within his own lifetime,

Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into
the Quantum Leap Accelerator

and vanished.

He woke to find himself
trapped in the past,

facing mirror images
that were not his own,

and driven by an unknown force

to change history
for the better.

His only guide
on this journey is Al,

an observer from his own time,

who appears in
the form of a hologram

that only Sam can see and hear.

And so Dr. Beckett finds himself
leaping from life to life,

striving to put right
what once went wrong,

and hoping each time
that his next leap

will be the leap home.

Billy, come on.

Every time you do this you
act like it's the first time.

We're reaching the door! Get in!

Oh, Lord!

Hang on, Billy,
it's gonna be all right.

Get me all the vital signs
and a blood sample.

Right away, Doctor.

Effy called
right after you left.

Billy, now you hang on.

Be careful!

Oh, in the name
of heaven, be careful!

Close the door.

Stay out there.

You're gonna be all right.

Get her clothes off.

Get her pants.
Let's do the prep.

Huh? No. No, no.

Calm down.

Just calm down.

No, I'm okay.

Just take it easy.
Now, now. There.

What's wrong with her?

What is she doing?

Oh, boy.

No. No.

Now, just relax, honey.

Now, hang in there, little
lady, it was just a contraction.

This can't be happening.

H-help her into the saddle.

Now, we got ourselves
a baby to pull out.

Come on, now.
Slide right in.

No! No! Wait... wait... wait...
wait! You don't understand!

Now, hold on.
Be careful, Billy Jean!

Hey, now, come on, honey.

This little tyke's comin'
whether you cooperate or not.

No! No, it's not.

I feel better. Really, I'm fine.
I-I-I'm fine.

Uh, suppose I
take a look and see?

No! I mean,
it's not necessary.

I mean, there-there's no way that this
baby is gonna be coming right now.

Trust me on that.

All right.

All right.

Come on.

That's it. Now,
nobody's gonna hurt you.

Now, come over here.
Just... just sit down here.

That's right.

Now, suppose you tell me just how
far apart those contractions are.

Contractions?

Oh, no. Uh, I mean, yes,
but I...

They've stopped.

- Well, that's good.
- Umm-hmm.

- That's very good.
- Umm-hmm.

- How about your water?
- Huh?

Your water break?

I don't think so.

I reckon you'd have noticed
if you'd sprung a leak.

Yeah.

You know, little lady,

havin' a baby is about
as simple as it gets.

Women have been giving birth
since the beginnin' of time.

And even if you may not know
what to do about it,

your body does.

I don't think so.

You'd be surprised.

So would you.

From the dates on the calendar
at the hospital,

I knew it was 1955.

November 14, 1955.

I also knew I was in
Claremore, Oklahoma.

Or, correction,
leaving Claremore, Oklahoma,

heading for God-knows-where,
to do...

Okay, I won't deal
with that just now.

I'll deal with who.

From the paperwork Dotty
filled out at the hospital

I knew my name was Billy Jean
Crockett, and I was 16 years old,

and that Dotty, Dorothy Louise
Billings, was not my mother.

She had signed "friend," and
from everything I could tell,

Billy Jean could use
every friend she could get.

Oh, Lord. I hope Effy pulled them
perm rods out of Leola's hair.

Otherwise, she's gonna look like

the star poodle
at the dog-and-pony show.

Effy! Effy!

Did you take Leola down?

I didn't do nothing to her.

It's about time you got back.

I'm here. I'm here.

So, let's see what...

Oh, my hair! My... my hair! Oh!

This is all your fault,
you little two-bit hussy!

Leola!

Oh!

You should have
never taken that trash in!

- Oh, stuff it!
- You stuff it!

And I told you we should never do the
color and the perm at the same time.

- Well, we did it.
- You all right, honey?

- Now look at me!
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

- Just look at my hair!
- I'm sorry.

- Oh, I'll fix it.
- You can't fix it!

It's purple, for heaven's sake!

Looks kinda punk.

It's gonna be
very big in the '80s.

Well, I don't know
where Aidee's is.

But here in Oklahoma we don't like
lookin' like electrified cotton candy.

Maybe you can borrow Miss
Parker's wig till it grows out.

I do not want that cootie
nest, I want my hair!

And I will tell you
another thing,

I will never step another foot into
this two-bit snake pit of a beauty shop!

Oh, Leola, you don't mean that.

Now, just calm down.
We've been friends for too many years.

Well, we ain't friends no
more, thanks to that harlot!

Oh, that's enough!

Her own people tossed her out.

I tell you, she ain't
your worry, Dotty.

All she's gonna do is just ruin

everything you have spent your
entire life workin' for. Oh!

Oh!

Tell her, Keeter,
tell her to send that hussy home!

What the hell happened
to your head?

Oh! I cannot believe

I'm gonna go through the rest
of my life with this hair!

Never did like that
old biddy, no way.

Will someone tell me
what happened to Leola's hair?

Sorry. I'm...

Oh, it ain't your fault,
darlin'.

Did Billy Jean do that to her?

Did you do that
to her hair? Huh?

Uh, well, uh, see, Dotty had to
take me to the hospital and uh...

Dotty? Dotty!

Well, what was I supposed to do?

Just let her have that baby right here
in the middle of the beauty parlor?

Well, now, she didn't drop it.
Did she?

That's 'cause she ain't a
cow, and it was a false alarm.

And if you had
taken Leola down...

That witch wouldn't let me lay one brown
finger on her if her life depended on it.

That's the God's truth.

Effy offered to take Leola's hair
down, and Leola flat refused.

Said she's waiting for you.

That's right.
I heard every word of it.

There must be something
I can do.

I think you've already done it.

Don't start, Keeter.

Huh? Start what, Dotty?
Start what?

One of your best customers
just walked out the door

looking like she could
tune in Mars,

you're telling me not to start.

I can handle Leola.

Maybe I should talk to her.

Huh. You wouldn't get
a word in edgewise.

Besides, she'll be back.

Hell, we've been through more
messes than a fly on a manure pile.

But you, young lady, you had better
get yourself right into that parlor

and get those feet up, now.
They're startin' to swell.

Yeah,
why don't you do that, Sam,

and then we can
have a little talk?

Okay.

Hey, if I was you,
I'd drop that kid.

And I'd get rid of it,
before you cause any more trouble.

Billy Jean was in full labor
when you leaped in, Sam.

It took every doctor
on the staff to stop her.

Not to mention the shock
she went into

when she caught a glimpse of your
reflection in those O.R. lamps.

Al, what if she has
her baby in the future?

Well, Ziggy's very worried
about that.

He says there's an 86 percent
chance that when you leap out,

and Billy Jean leaps back,

the baby could stay
in the future.

She loses her baby?

Uh, well, she loses it anyway.

In the original history,
Billy Jean put her baby up for adoption.

Then she regretted it and she spent the
rest of her life trying to find her.

So I'm here to change that.

Apparently, yes.

How long until she has her baby?

Uh, uh, according to Ziggy,
about 36 hours.

Un-unless...

Unless?

Uh, unless you have it first.

What are you talking about?

I, c...

Uh, I can't have a baby.

I know that.
But Ziggy's not so sure.

I'm sure. I've never been more
sure of anything in my life.

There's no way that I
could possibly have a baby!

Okay. Okay, okay,
calm down!

You're gonna find yourself
going back into labor.

I wasn't in labor!

Well, Billy Jean was.

And Ziggy says that
your brainwaves

are linked into her emotions

and they're cross-channeling
into the baby.

The baby's not here.

Well, never mind
the baby's not here,

the baby is... is connecting
with your mood swings.

Ziggy says you're bonding.

Bonding?

Yes, bonding. And that's a good
thing, in case you deliver

before Billy Jean leaps back.

I- 'm a man.
- Yeah.

I can't have a baby.
Men cannot have babies.

No. I-I can't.

You don't look so good, Sam.

Oh, just feel a little nauseous.

Yeah, you look a little green
a... around the nostrils, there.

I told you not to
upset yourself.

I'm not upset, I'm just sick.

I can hear that.

Oh, you probably got
the stomach flu.

Everybody's got it.
It's going around.

And now for the weather.

Looks like it's gonna
rain out there

so you better get yourself...

I don't have the flu.

Listen, are you sure
that there's no way,

no way that Ziggy could be
right about this, right?

Oh, there's no way Ziggy
could be right about this.

There's no way, uh, physically

that you could
carry a baby in there.

Right?

- Right.
- Right.

So... so then we're
just saying that

Billy Jean is back
in the waiting room...

Yeah?

...and that I'm here
in 1955, right?

Uh, yeah, right, she's
there, you're here. Yeah.

And it's just the illusion

of her physical aura
that everybody's seeing.

That's right, they see, uh,
the illusion of her physical aura.

- Not her body?
- No, not her body.

No, okay.
So why do I feel so nauseous?

Uh, oh, uh, could be
psychosomatic.

Yeah, a lot of fathers
have that.

Who is the father, Al?

We don't know.

Uh, and Dr. Beaks says that
Billy Jean is too traumatized

to push for an answer.

You feeling a little better?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a little bit
tired, that's all.

Tired? Well, that means
you got the flu.

See, that's just like I said.

- You got the flu.
- I don't have the flu.

Yeah, well, you're not pregnant, either.
Because when you're pregnant,

the... the... the nausea
and the pukies

and the fatigue come
in the first three months,

and Billy Jean
is... is at full-term.

Anyway, you can't be tired, because
you gotta figure out some way for...

for the girl to keep her baby.

I'm just gonna rest here
a little bit, Al.

And then I'll get up,
and I'll figure out

how to patch up her
and her family.

That's a good idea, Sam.

Yeah, you could
ask her mother, uh...

That's a bad idea, Sam.

Her mother's dead.

d*ed when she was 12.

And her father
even refuses to see her.

Who?

Her... Billy Jean's father.

Bob Crockett is his name.
He's, uh,

a foreman at Kip Petroleum.

Lives at 243 Prairie
Lane Drive in Claremore.

43 Fairy Lane Drive...

No, not Fairy, Prairie,
with a "P." P-P-P-P-Prairie Lane

Drive, in...

Something tells me
we're in big trouble.

Big.

I'd spent a sleepless night
drinking water

and making
900 trips to the bathroom,

the whole time wondering what
to say to a man I'd never met,

about his daughter
and her unborn child.

Yet as I lived another day
in Billy Jean's shoes,

I couldn't help
but feel that somehow

this baby truly belonged
with Billy.

Are you sure you wanna
do this, honey?

I mean, some things are just
better worked out after the fact.

I don't think I'd be here
if I had a choice.

Well, then, just wait
till the baby comes.

I'll bet you a $2 hog that little
tyke will just melt his heart

and everything'll turn out
just right as pie.

Let's just say that the history books
are telling me that's not gonna happen.

There's your dad. Bob!

What are you doin' here, Billy?

Oh, Bob, say hello to the child.

This is between me
and my daughter, Dotty.

Well, I'm just real glad to hear that
there's something between you two.

I didn't realize
you two knew each other.

Well, your... your daddy
and I were...

Went to high school together.

Oh, we were a little more
than classmates.

What do you want, Billy?

I just wanted to talk.

This ain't a freak show!
Why don't y'all get back to work?

We got nothin' to talk about.

Talk to her, Bobby.
Can't hurt nothin'.

Better get outta sight.

Folks around here got enough
to gossip about already.

Go on, I'll wait
right here for you.

Go on. Go ahead.

Miss Thailer called to, uh,

tell me you decided
to give up the baby.

Miss Thailer?

- The woman from the adoption agency.
- Yeah, right, Miss Thailer.

Right, well, that's kinda what
I wanted to talk to you about.

You see,

I've... I've decided to keep the baby,
and I can't do that without your help.

Well, you can get help from whoever
the hell it was that knocked you up.

No, I can't.

You can't, or you won't?

The only way you're gonna
be able to keep that baby

is if you get him to do the
right thing by you and marry you.

That is,
if he's not married already.

Well, I... I don't know.

You don't know?

I mean, I... I don't know

if I should get married,
if marriage is the right thing to do.

Little girl, you're pregnant.

Bein' pregnant isn't a
reason to get married.

It-it's just an option.

And so is bringing
this baby up in a home

In a family with you.

I'm not gonna spend the rest of
my life payin' for your mistake.

This mistake will be
your grandchild.

I don't have a grandchild and
I don't want a grandchild!

Now, if you want to come back
home, we can work that out.

But not until you have this baby

And get rid of it.

Talking to Billy Jean's dad left me
feeling sad and angry and frustrated.

But mostly it left me
feeling lucky.

Lucky to grow up in a family
with parents who listened to me,

guided me
when I was lost or confused,

and who always seemed to be
there when I needed them.

I wanted to give Billy Jean the
chance to be that kind of a parent.

There's a Cassy Thailer here
to see you, Billy Jean.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Do you mind?

No.

I just have some stuff
to finish up in there.

Are you gonna be
all right, honey?

Sure.

Effy! Effy.
You get in here this minute!

I brought those papers
for you to sign.

Papers?

The adoption papers.

You're due this week,
aren't you?

Well, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I am.

Okay, now you just sign
all five copies.

- Can I read them first?
- Well, of course you can.

Uh, but they're just,
they're just legal talk

that says the agency
has your approval

to put your baby up
for adoption.

Mrs. Thailer, if, uh,

if I sign these papers and...
and then I change my mind

can I ever get my baby back?

Well, no.

Can I ever see her again?

No.

So then I'll never know
where my baby goes.

Billy Jean, honey,

where your baby goes
is not important.

It's very important.

What's important
is that your baby

will be with a good family,
and it will have a wonderful life.

I can't ever know that
if I can't see her.

Well, I can.

It's not your baby,
it's my baby.

Billy Jean, no one in the world

will think that
you're a bad person

because you wanted a
better life for your child.

Mrs. Thailer, I believe in adoption, I...
I really do.

Good.

Then let me help your baby find the
kind of a life you can't provide.

Not... not because
you don't want to,

but because you need
to take care of yourself.

You don't understand.

You need to finish
growing up, honey,

to... to find out what
it is you want to do.

I know what I want to do.

I... I wanna keep my baby.

Billy Jean, honey, what has brought
on this sudden change of heart?

Uh...

You know that expression,
"God works in mysterious ways?"

It's one of my favorites.

Well, I think
this is one of them.

I think that my change of heart
is God's way of tellin' me

that he doesn't want me

to... to make another mistake.

Effy.

You're not going to sign
those papers, are you?

No, ma'am.

Dotty, how long do I
have to stay under this?

Oh, honey, I hope
it works out for you.

I truly... truly do.

10 more minutes.

Oh, honey, you just look like
you've lost a w*r.

Just a few major battles.

Your daddy will
come around, honey.

He's still just hurtin'
from losin' your mom.

You and he were more
than classmates, weren't you?

Well, well,

that's just all water
under the bridge, you know.

What happened?

Huh? Well...

Oh, now, come on,
you just got much more important things

to worry about than
what your daddy and I...

That was a hell of a kick!

I... I felt that.

Well, of course you did.

That little baby of yours has
a kick like a mule in heat.

Oh, boy.

- You know what?
- Huh?

I think so, too.

Sam, that is disgusting.

How can you eat that?

Actually,
it's... it's pretty good.

I know folks get hungry for funny stuff
when they're having babies, but...

Jell-O and onions?

I mean, don't you kinda wonder
what you're hatchin' down there?

What, have you got
cravings or something?

You're craving?

I just wanted Jell-O and onions.

Okay, okay.

Don't come callin' me in the middle of
the night when you get stomach pains.

Oh, uh, Miss Dotty said come into
the shop when you're feelin' better.

Mmm-hmm. Thank you.

Al.

What?

I felt the baby kick.

What?

I felt Billy Jean's baby kick inside of me.
Right there.

Gas.

What?

You probably feel gas
from eating this junk.

No, no, no, no.
Dotty felt it, too.

Oh, that'd be a neat trick,

since Billy Jean's baby is inside
Billy Jean, 40 years in the future.

All I know is, Dotty had
her hand on my stomach

and we both felt the baby kick.

That's impossible.

Well, maybe it isn't.
I mean, maybe... maybe...

maybe when I came in
and Billy Jean leaped

the baby stayed.

- Yeah.
- Huh?

Read my lips.

It's impossible, Sam.

So just forget about being
the first male mother

and concentrate on finding a way

for Billy Jean to
get to keep her baby.

Oh, what happened when
you talked to the father?

Oh, well, nothing good.

It'd take a miracle to get him to
accept Billy Jean and her baby.

Well, you better work a miracle,
because according to Ziggy

that baby is due
in less than five hours.

God!

What? What's wrong now?

It's so hot in here.

Hot flashes.

- Huh?
- I'm having hot flashes.

You're not having hot flashes!

Yeah, right, and I'm not
having cravings,

but I'm sitting here
eating Jell-O and onions.

Al, read my lips:

I'm pregnant.

You are not pregnant, Sam.

But you are running out of time.

Who's the father?

I mean, did Billy Jean
tell you who the father is?

No. Dr. Beaks wouldn't let me
get near Billy Jean.

Oh, I gotta find a way
to buy Billy Jean some time.

I gotta find a way...

- You gotta get real, Sam.
- ...to get her life together. Huh?

Billy Jean doesn't even
have a high-school education,

she hasn't got
the slightest prospect

of finding a job
to support herself,

and even if she found a job,
who's gonna stay with the baby

while she's doin' whatever
job it is she finds?

Dotty. Dotty.

Dotty's been... She's been right
under our noses all this time.

Dot...
What's so funny?

Oh, Dotty!
Hang on, Sam, no, no!

Look, if Dotty had wanted
Billy to stay with her

it would've happened
40 years ago.

You wouldn't even be here.

Uh, well, maybe nobody
thought of it back then.

You know, you keep talking
to yourself like that

little men in white coats are gonna
come and take you out the door.

Thought of what?

Uh, Sam, you wanna be very
careful how you handle this.

A way to help me keep this baby.

That's subtle.

Oh, honey, I thought you were
givin' that baby up for adoption.

Well, I was,
but I-I-I'm not now, uh...

I'm... I'm not sure that
that's the best thing to do.

For who? You,
or that little baby?

Both.

Best thing would've been not to have
gotten knocked up in the first place.

Uh, this is bad timing, Sam.

Drink your beer, Keeter.

Billy Jean, you are a young girl

with your whole life
in front of you.

Now, you don't want to
have it ruined by a baby.

But what if it's not ruined,
though, see? I mean,

what if I'm supposed to
have this baby in my life?

Well, that might be true if
you had a husband and a home.

But you don't.

You don't have a soul that's
gonna help you with that baby.

Not now, Sam. Not now.

Dotty will help me.
Won't you, Dotty?

That's it.

I'm outta here.

I'm going down
and have myself another beer.

I'll have supper
in a jiffy, Keeter.

Feed it to mama.

Look what you did.

Sorry, Dotty.
You're just...

You're the only one left
who can help me.

Well, I can't have
a baby in here!

It won't,
it won't take up much room.

Keeter would just be out of
here quicker than I could spit.

Uh, he's out of here,
anyway, Sam.

He never does marry her.

I promised him that you'd be
gone as soon as that baby comes.

And I don't want you
to go back on your word.

But I also... I don't want
to lose this baby, either.

Well, you do not have a choice.

Now, look you can work here
part time if you want to,

but you have got to
give that baby away.

Look, if I do that I'm
going to lose her forever.

And if you don't,
I'll lose Keeter!

Well, you might lose him anyway.

Shut your mouth!

Now, look here, Billy Jean.

I have given you a home, a
job, the food on your plate,

and don't you go askin' me to give
up my life for you, because I won't!

I just won't!

Well, she's right, Sam.

You can't ask her to take
on all of Billy's problems.

Well, maybe they're
opportunities.

I mean, maybe this is a chance
for her to love someone.

I mean, if Keeter's
gonna leave her anyway...

But she doesn't know that yet.

Obviously you can't tell her.

There's gotta be somebody
who can help me, Al.

Well, you tried her father,
you tried Dotty.

There's... Who?
There's nobody else.

Nobody except
the father of this baby.

And only God knows where he is.

Willis is probably walkin'
home from work about now.

Huh. Out of the mouths
of babes.

Willis?

It's after 5:00.
He'd be quittin' about now.

Effy, I really need
to talk to him.

I thought you two swore never
to see each other again.

Well, we did, but I... I... I
kinda changed my mind.

Yeah, you know,
he's probably quittin' right now

and gonna be driving home to...

That baby must be
sucking your brain dry.

Willis ain't got no car.

Uh, no, of course not. No, what...
what can I be thinking of?

No, he's... he's probably just,
you know, walkin' down old, uh...

Water Tower Road.

Water Tower Road.

That's where I'll find him.

Water Tower...
Okay, got it. Sam.

It's about a mile west of here.

You're not really gonna talk to
him, are you?

He's my last chance.

I know you really
don't love Willis.

So you'd be makin' a big mistake
if you made him marry you

just to hold onto your baby.

Sam, you should be
takin' it easy.

What are you doin' walkin' along the road?
This is crazy.

I can't take it easy, Al.
If I take it easy,

I'll never find a home
for Billy and her baby

and if I don't find them a
home, I'm not gonna leap.

How much longer
till the baby comes?

Two hours, 27 minutes.

What? What's wrong?

Ah! I think just too much
Jell-O and onions.

Now, listen,
don't get your hopes up

because this Willis guy
is probably just some yahoo

who could care less
about Billy Jean.

He doesn't have to care
about Billy as long as he

accepts financial responsibility
and helps her with this baby.

Come on, this is the '50s.
What high-school kid

is gonna be able
to pay for a baby?

If you think I'm going about this
wrong, give me a better idea,

or better yet, ask Billy Jean.

But not the terrified
16-year-old in the waiting room.

Find Billy Jean, the woman.
The one who spent her whole life

looking for her only child,
and ask her what she wants me to do.

Well, don't bite my head off.

Willis is just as responsible
for this baby as I am.

You mean Billy Jean is.

He's gonna have to face his
responsibilities like a man.

Or like a boy.

That's Willis?

Oh, no wonder she never told
her father who got her pregnant.

He works for him.

He doesn't look like
what I pictured.

No, me, either.
He's just a boy.

Well, you're just a girl.

Well, I'm gonna
leave the two of you alone.

Hey, Billy Jean.

Willis.

So I guess you're due
pretty soon, huh, Billy?

Sooner than you think.

Yeah. Well, at least now
it'll all be over.

No, it won't.

Should've let Mama Elliot
fix things.

Abortion?

It just would've made things
a lot easier on everybody.

Well, that's, uh,
that's no longer an option.

The point is, what'll we do now?

I told you,
I can't do nothin', Billy.

I got my scholarship, Billy.

I start school in January.

I'm gonna be the first Taylor
ever who gets to go to college.

Well, that's fine for you,
but what about me and the baby?

You told me you were
gonna give it up.

Well, I...

I can't.

You have to.

What the hell are you gonna do?

You ain't even finished
high school.

Maybe it's time I did.

Oh, with a baby?

And your help.

I told you, I can't help
you, Billy Jean.

My scholarship only pays
for my tuition.

I... I have to work to
earn my room and board.

I can't be sending you
enough money to keep a baby.

Well, you should have thought
about that before you made one.

Well, I didn't make it alone.

I like you, Billy.

I liked you a lot.
I liked the way we talked

about books,
and traveling, and...

You're the only person in this
dumb little town who understood me.

And I really wish there was
some way that I could help you,

but there just ain't.

I'm sorry, too.

Oh, damn it, Billy!

You're the one who told
me to go to college.

You told me to make
somethin' out of myself.

Now you wanna trap me here
in this stupid little town.

I gotta get outta here.

And if you had a lick of
sense, you'd give up that baby

and you'd get outta here, too.

You gonna break
every nail on your hand.

You got a better way of doin'
this, I'm all ears.

No. But I can't
do your nails again,

'cause my mama's
turning 50 today

and I gotta get home
for her party.

Get the other tire.

Okay, okay.
I'll get dirty, though.

Just get the damn tire!

I told you to get the tire,
Effy, not manufacture it.

Oh, Lord! Oh!

Hospital. You gotta
get me to the hospital.

Oh, lord, honey,
my car has a flat!

You look horrible.

You look just fine.

Call the doctor.

And my father.

The numbers are on the wall
there by the phone.

Call my father!

You'll be all right, honey.
Just hang on there.

It's okay, don't you worry.

Come on, honey.

Just sit right in here.

Here it comes.
Here it comes.

Oh, no, it'll be all right.

Oh, God.

Get right over here
and sit yourself down.

Oh, my. Oh, my God.

No. Don't you go pushing now,
or you'll have that baby right here.

Okay.

Okay.

Here, you just take this.

Effy!

There was an accident
on the Nile Farm

and Dr. Rogers is in surgery
fixing their oldest boy's leg.

The nurse says, get her to Claremore,
or deliver the baby yourself.

Don't look at me.
I can't help you.

Well, you're gonna!

What about my father?

I tried both numbers, work and home.
No answer.

You gotta get a hold of him.

Don't worry, honey,
we'll find him.

Now, run down to the field.
Her daddy's probably workin' outside.

That's all the way over in...
I'm goin'! I'm goin'!

Keeter!
I forgot about Keeter!

He's been out on a rig so long,

I just plumb forgot about him.

Hello, Tom? It's Dotty.

You got Keeter down there?

Keeter? Oh, Keeter,
I need you to come home.

What the hell for, Dot?

Oh, Billy's having her baby,
and I have got to get her to the hospital.

So? Drive her.

Well, I got a flat tire.

Fix it, Dot.

Keeter,
she doesn't have much time.

It's probably
another false alarm.

Keeter, we need your help here.

No, Dot. The knocked up trash
needs my help.

And she can need my help
till hell freezes over,

but she ain't gonna get it.

Keeter Slade,
you selfish son of a bitch!

If you don't bring your butt
over here right this minute,

don't you bother
bringin' it back at all!

Listen, I can't have this baby.

Honey, I think you're a little
too far along to turn back now.

How far apart are they?

Five minutes.

Oh, Lord.

All right, come on, darling.

We gotta change a tire.

Stop! Stop! Stop!
Will you stop?

She's gonna have a baby!
Hurry! Hurry!

Okay. Okay.

Okay, honey,
you take this and get in the car!

All right. Okay.
Okay?

Get in, take it easy.
You're all right.

Oh!

How're you doin'?

Well, I've been better.

Oh!

Why don't you let me drive?

Because you're busy.

Come on, Mr. Crockett,
be here.

Can I help you, girl?

Mr. Crockett, Billy Jean's
having her baby.

It was bound to happen.

She's askin' for you.

She don't need me
to have no baby.

But Dotty's car broke down,

and she's got no way
to get her to the hospital.

She can have the baby at
home, like her mama had her.

Billy's hurting real bad.

I... I think she might die.

She's 16 years old.

She's not gonna die
from having no baby.

My sister was 17.

She bled to death
in my mama's arms.

Oh, here it comes again,
here it comes.

Oh, oh. Okay, sit.

Y'all wait right there.

Where the hell have you been?

I'm right here, honey.

I've been in the waiting
room with Billy Jean.

The poor kid is terrified.

She thinks she's having a
baby in an alien spaceship.

- Here, drink this.
- I'm having this baby!

No, you're not, Sam.

Honey, they can tell that.

Billy Jean's having the baby
40 years in the future.

I'm in labor,
and I'm having this baby!

Who's she tryin' to convince,
us or herself?

Honey, how far apart
are your contractions?

Contractions?

Sam, you're not
having any contractions!

Well, we lost count.

It-It's physically impossible!

Impossible?

I'm sorry, darling, I've been a
little busy to watch the clock.

Let me get these clothes off.

Sam, this is all happening
in your imagination.

Go to hell!

All right, young lady,
you just watch your language.

Yeah, take it easy, Sam.

What are you doin', honey?

- He's breathing.
- I'm breathing.

- Why is she doing that?
- It beats the heck out of me.

It... it makes the contractions,
uh, easier.

Why am I telling you?
You can't hear me.

Honey, you are gonna
hyperventilate if you keep this up.

- It's not working!
- What's not working?

Of course it's not working.

You're not really in labor!

Yes, I am.

All right, let me help you.

All right, now you're
going to have a baby.

It happens every day.
Okay.

How far is she dilated?

I've been fighting just
to get her clothes off.

I haven't been able to do the
prep or time the contractions.

All right, Billy Jean,
let's have a look.

No.

Al, you gotta help me.

Who?

Gushie, what's happening?

Get her to the delivery room.

The baby's head is crowning!

The head is crowning?

I don't know,
'cause you won't let me look.

Ziggy says that wherever the baby is
coming, it's coming in four minutes.

- Where's my father?
- Effy's looking for him, honey.

I'm not gonna have this baby
till my father gets here!

You don't have a choice.

Hang on, honey.

Billy!

- Daddy.
- Billy.

Dad.

Everything's gonna be all right,
sweetheart. Everything's gonna be okay.

The baby. I want...

She wants to keep the baby, Bob.

She's been sayin' that for days.

Let's not argue about
that now, sweetheart.

Sam, there's a little problem
in the waiting room.

The baby has disappeared
from Billy Jean's womb.

I knew it, I knew it.
I'm having this baby!

Here we are, Billy Jean.

Off the gurney.

Here we go. 1, 2...

Good.
Get in the stirrups.

Bob, will you get out of here!

No, no, you have to
help me keep the baby.

Billy, it ain't right!

For God's sake, Bob,
she's your only daughter!

All right.
All right, Billy.

You get through this thing okay,
we're gonna do anything you wanna do.

- Oh, hallelujah!
- I love you.

Al!

It's okay, honey.

- Get it out!
- It's gonna be all right.

Get it out!

Take it easy, Sam.
Everything's okay.

Bob marries Dotty,
and they help Billy Jean raise the baby.

You've done it!
You've done it!

I see a head of curls trying to get
out, little lady. Give a push.

Activate the time machine.

Stand by the time accelerator.

Uh, uh, standing b-by.

Activate now!

Oh, boy.
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