03x02 - Survival of the Fittest

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Silver Spoons". Aired: September 25, 1982 - May 11, 1986.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.
Post Reply

03x02 - Survival of the Fittest

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are, face to face A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Making a go Making it grow ♪

♪ Together, we're going To find our way ♪

♪ Together Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about Those things ♪

♪ You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together We're going to find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together We're going to find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

Okay. The mic's plugged in. You all set?

I think so. Okay.

Oop, got a tangled cord. Okay.

Okay, roll it, Kate.

Action.

Hi...

This is Edward Stratton

coming to you live from my living room.

Where any minute now an historic event

will take place down these stairs where--

Down these very stairs, will descend Richard Stratton,

who today begins his first day as a freshman

at Buckminster Fuller High School.

Here he comes now.

Dad, come on.

Come on, Rick. This is a momentous occasion.

What's the big deal?

I'm only going a few blocks to high school.

Aren't you nervous?

Gosh, I could hardly sleep the night before my first day.

Hey, the way I figured, I did the junior high thing.

It's simply time for this guy to move on.

After all, the bigger the stadium,

the louder the cheers.

[LAUGHS]

That's priceless.

Now it's a great time to surprise him with the pen.

Kate?

What pen?

Well, it was supposed to be a surprise.

Well, okay. Son, just act surprised

when I make the presentation.

Okay? Okay. Sure.

Rick, I'd like to present you with this.

The very pen that I carried

throughout my high school career.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, wow!

That's enough surprise, son.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Yeah, who is it?

FREDDY: Freddy!

[PANTING] Phew. That was a close one.

I almost ran into a sophomore.

So?

Oh, come on.

Everybody knows the sophomores are out to clobber the freshmen.

Anyway, I don't think she saw me.

Freddy, Freddy, Freddy, what am I going to do with you?

You know they just make up those stories to scare us.

What stories?

I'll tell you what stories.

Sophomores throw freshmen into the pool.

They stuff them into trash cans or lockers.

De-pantsing is not uncommon.

Excuse me, Ms. Summers!

Oh, it's quite all right, Freddy.

You know, I used to hear the same rumors

when I was a freshman. All untrue.

I can tell you one thing to watch out for.

The old elevator pass scam.

They try to sell you a pass on an elevator

that doesn't even exist.

Come on, what kind of a dopey kid

would fall for something like that.

Ah. [SCREAMS]

There's a big bug sitting on the globe.

It's not a bug, Freddy. It's a plastic whooping cream.

Yeah, this is my company's very first table game.

It's called Endangered Species. Yep.

You choose an endangered animal.

You roll the dice and then you move around the globe.

But watch out, you don't get a risk card.

Boy George wants a new coat.

Lose 10 leopards.

Wow! What a neat game.

Well, we shipped 50,000 sets last month.

You think it will be a hit? Absolutely. Definitely.

No question about it. Ah! Great.

Of course, I have terrible judgment.

Well, let's go, Fred, we got a new school to conquer.

But I'm not ready yet.

Why? You don't want to be late for your first day.

You're right.

If you're late for high school,

it goes on your permanent record.

It haunts you forever.

You can't get into the college of your choice

and you end up on Skid Row.

My mom explained it to me.

Freddy, it will be a piece of cake.

Yeah, it's easy for you to say. You're not a dork.

Freddy, buddy. You'll be right.

After all. You're starting high school with...

The Ricker.

Ow!

Bye, Dad. EDWARD: Bye. Do good now.

And that's the way it is.

This is Edward Stratton...

And Kate Summers... Saying good night...

And... BOTH: Good luck.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[STUDENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Bye, Darlene.

Freddy?

Rick, you were right. High school is a piece of cake.

You look a little frazzled.

Well, uh, my day's had a few wrinkles in it.

It really started off with a bang

when my homeroom teacher said my middle name out loud.

Oh, yeah. It's all over school. Bluedhorn.

[LAUGHING]

It was my mother's maiden name, Okay?

Then when I was in gym class, they ran out of towels.

I had to dry myself off by running around real fast.

That made me late for biology. I thought it was biology.

It turned out to be chemistry.

Big deal, I was in the wrong classroom.

Why did everybody have to point and laugh when I left?

Beats me. By the way, Rick, your barn door's open.

So when I finally get to biology,

I have this teacher, Mr. Beasel.

He yells at me for coming in late.

I do not know how I'm going to survive a whole semester

with Beasel the weasel.

Hi, Mr. Weasel.

Beasel. Beasel! Hi, Mr. Beasel.

I'm so deflated.

Why won't this locker open?

Because it's mine.

Well, I've had a great day. I was worried for nothing.

I made the audio visual squad

and in Spanish, I got elected for a monitor.

I even met a couple of cute señoritas.

Howdy, neighbor.

Come to this locker often?

Things have got to get better.

You were wrong, Rick.

The pen my dad gave me leaked.

That's exactly why I wear a pocket protector.

I always keep a spare.

I'll go with the stain, Fred..

Hey, it's Randy. Remember him from junior high?

You can't say hello to him, Rick.

He's a sophomore now. So what?

Randy and I were friends,

we're on the soccer team together.

That's history, Rick.

Sophomores do not want to be bothered by lonely freshmen.

That's ridiculous. Hey, Randy, how you doing?

Oh, no. Just when you thought it was safe

to go back in the hallway.

Strat, good to see you.

Say, didn't you go to our junior high too?

No hablo ingles.

Anyway, this is, uh, Cliff. He's a soccer player too.

All right. Good to meet you, dude.

Yeah. Ricky was a major mover and shaker in junior high.

He was a class president, made more than his share of As.

He's a really popular guy.

Ah, all that happened weeks ago.

Randy, maybe you can help me out.

I'm gonna be trying out for the soccer team.

How about putting in a good word with Coach Herkimer?

Yeah. That's another thing.

Rick here was a top jock too, and a trendsetter.

Well...

In fact, I bet you before long,

everybody in school is gonna have a shirt

with a big, stupid ink stain on it.

[BOTH LAUGH]

This?

It's a gift. The pen, it leaked.

Don't worry about it, buddy.

Now, listen.

Before we can recommend you to Coach Herkimer,

I think we gotta check a few things out.

Like, um...

Well, first we have to know how much you weigh.

Pretty solid, huh?

Guys, what are you doing?

And then we have to know if you can fit in your locker!

Look, might've been a big man in junior high, Stratton,

but here... you're just a freshman.

Understand?

A freshman.

So welcome to Buckminster Fuller High School.

And have a nice day.

Don't worry, Rick. I'll get you out of there.

What's your combination?

This is awful, lucky you have airholes.

Are you all right? I've had better days.

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Hey, Rick, come on. Get dressed.

It's almost 8:00. You're gonna miss the bus.

I'm not feeling so good.

Maybe you've got something at school, huh?

I think you put your finger on it.

I'm gonna take your temperature.

I don't want you going to school if you have a fever.

Aw, Dad, today, we get our lab aprons.

All the more reason for you to stay home.

I wouldn't want you to get too excited.

I'll be back in a couple of minutes.

You keep that under your tongue, huh?

Oh, Freddy! I thought you were my father.

Oh, come on. He's a lot taller than me.

Hmm...

110. Wow.

Your dad said you were sick, but 110!

Hundred, that's better. You're faking it.

You're going to miss your second day of high school?

I don't believe you're doing this.

Come on, Freddy. You faked it before.

Yeah, but for a good reason, like a book report wasn't ready.

One day of humiliation is enough.

Being a freshman in high school

has been the worst experience of my life.

Heck! If I stayed home every time I felt foolish,

I wouldn't have gone to school for the last eight years.

[KNOCK ON DOOR] EDWARD: Rick, it's me.

Come in. Come in.

Okay, it's been three minutes, son, let's check.

A hundred?

I'd call the doctor right away, Mr. Stratton.

Freddy.

What is it, Rick? Speak to me. Get out.

Right.

It looks like you're not going to high school, buddy.

Oh, that's too bad. Can I have his lunch?

Sure. Thanks. Bye.

You just get some rest, son, okay?

I wish I could keep you company,

but I can't miss that board meeting.

I promise you, I'll call you in a couple hours.

You want anything, Jenkins is downstairs. Okay?

Okay, Dad.

I'm sorry you have to miss school.

When you came home last night, you were a little lethargic.

I was sure you were coming down with something.

You can't fool a parent for long.

Why don't they call with those sales figures?

This is serious business.

[DUCK PHONE QUACKING]

Stuffins here. Yes. Well, it's about time.

So how's the patient?

Well, he's got a little temperature.

I'm going to keep him home. Oh, that's too bad.

Who's Dexter on the phone with?

Oh, he's getting the sales figures for Endangered Species.

That's awful.

Oh, no...

It's a blood bath.

That can't be right.

It's-- We're talking financial carnage.

Well, we'll just have to carry on. Thank you.

Out of 50,000, we only sold six.

I thought we'd do better than that. Only 6000?

Six.

Six.

One, two, three, four, five.

Six.

And two were returned.

Now. Wait a minute, guys.

I mean, this isn't a total disaster.

We're just off to a slow start.

Well, how many Monopoly games

did Parker Brothers sell the first month, huh?

80,000.

Really?

Forget it, Edward.

Cut your losses or Eddie Toys will be the endangered species.

Yeah. Okay. Dexter.

You tell the board that I made a mistake

we're bailing out. Okay?

Aren't you coming, Edward?

No, you can handle this without me.

Oh, honey. I'm so sorry.

I mean, you put so much effort into this.

Kate.

The joy is the work.

I don't believe that.

[COUGHING DRAMATICALLY]

Just checking to see if we have any chicken soup.

Yeah, that's good, son.

Aren't you supposed to go to a board meeting?

[SIGHS] I can't face those people.

Endangered Species is a dud.

Only four people bought it.

I wonder who they were.

I can tell you one thing.

I'm staying out of the game business from now on.

I'm scrapping development on Barnyard Bingo.

Wait a minute. I can't believe I'm hearing this.

What kind of example is that to set, Dad?

You've got to go out there and try again.

You can't just stay home and hide.

Then again, hiding could be good. Want some soup too?

Wait a minute-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You had a pretty good pep talk going there.

You just petered out. What's going on?

High school.

Yesterday was the worst day of my life.

I got lost. Laughed at and locked in my locker.

That's lousy.

Well, I guess it was kind of a lucky accident,

you got sick and didn't have to face that again.

I used a hairdryer to heat my thermometer.

Aha.

You know what it is with me, Dad?

When I was in junior high, I had it knocked.

I was the big man on campus.

I had the primo spot on the bike rack.

Then I get to the high school, and it's all gone. I'm nothing.

It'll be fine when they get to know you.

That's just it. They do know me and they don't care.

You know what it's like when you're in the cafeteria

and all the big kids push you to the end of the line,

and by the time you get up to the counter,

there's nothing left but hard spaghetti and brussels sprouts?

You remember when the video arcade got Nuclear Invaders?

Now, what did it take to master that game?

About a thousand of your quarters.

Right.

Well, anyway, you had to keep playing and playing.

So you could move up from space cadet to m*ssile captain

to intergalactic general, all the way up to supreme commando.

And then you finally retire because you had it b*at.

Then what did you do? I moved on to a new game.

Pig Patrol.

It's hard. It's been two weeks, and I'm still only a pork chop.

Well, now, you see? That's my point.

See, high school is just like Pig Patrol.

I understand it.

It's hard when you start something new,

you have to work your way up again.

That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, it does.

So are you going back to school?

No. I'm going to go play Pig Patrol.

Son. I'm going to school.

I'm going to school. Good.

I'm gonna go get dressed. I'll tell you what.

I'll drop you off at school

on my way to the board meeting, deal?

Deal. Okay.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[STUDENTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Get down, Ricky.

Rick, If I had known you were coming to school,

I wouldn't have sold your lunch.

It's okay, Freddy.

Things are looking a lot better.

Hey, Stratton. I missed you this morning.

Maybe he took it to tour some of the other lockers.

Heh. That's a good one.

Hey, listen, we've been kind of rough on you.

You paid your dues.

So no hard feelings, friends?

[SHOCKER BUZZES] [BOTH LAUGHING]

You know what? I was pretty dumb yesterday.

I thought things weren't going to be

any different here than in junior high.

I guess I was wrong.

See, I used to be a big fish in a small pond.

Now I'm a small fish in a big pond, but it doesn't bother me.

'Cause I can learn how to swim.

Stop it. They'll throw you in the pool.

You went through the same thing

I'm going through when you were freshmen.

Now it's your turn to do it to somebody else, me.

Well, I can take it just like you did.

I may not like it, but I can take it.

So if it makes you feel big

by putting freshmen in their lockers,

go ahead. Close the door.

[SIGHS]

I told them, didn't I, Freddy?

Sure did.

♪ Together We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about those Things you just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver... ♪
Post Reply