03x17 - Marry Me, Marry Me: Part 2

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What is our relationship?

It's loving.

It's caring.

It's drifting. It's coasting.

It's meandering. It is going nowhere.

I rushed into one marriage.

It lasted all of seven days.

I'm scared.

I'm gonna say this as plainly and simply as I can.

KATE

[DRUM ROLL]

Will you marry me?

Yes!

Up till now it's been you and me.

Now it's gonna be you, me and her.

Kate's been here.

But she hasn't been here.

Now she's gonna be telling me what to do

like she's my real mom, which she isn't.

I don't know why you guys have to get married.

Kate had a wonderful job offer

and it's not really fair to her

to keep her wondering about her future.

Edward, you're making me feel like I pressured you

into proposing.

No, you didn't.

Maybe we should just call this whole thing off.

Happiest day of my life? Ha!

NARRATOR: And now Silver Spoons:

Okay.

Enough is enough.

For three days I've been laying around

feeling sorry for myself,

feeling depressed, reading magazines.

True, I now have a better handle

on the Central American situation.

But I can't go on like this.

I've gotta fact the fact, Kate is gone and it's over.

I gotta get up, I gotta get out, and I gotta get on with my life.

That's right. But first, I'm gonna take a nap.

I never realized how much I can miss Kate.

Sorry, Dad. If only I kept my mouth shut.

No, son. I should have kept my mouth open.

What I mean is

I know I should have talked all this over with you

before I tried to propose to Kate.

Dad, what's done is done.

You gotta try calling her again.

It's no use.

Her landlady will just tell me the same thing.

"Kate's out of town with her friend Annie

and I can't tell you where.

You heel!"

Wait a minute. When Kate goes out of town, she brings Fluffy

to that cat kennel. What's it called?

Uh...Cat Land. No.

No. I know! Kitty City.

Here it is.

Dial 555-TUNA.

Hello? Do you have a Fluffy staying there?

You do? Great! Ha!

No, I don't wanna speak with her.

Did her owner leave an emergency number?

Can I have it please?

What's the emergency? What's the emergency?

Uh--I... The emergen--

Hello. This is Dr. Hans Schpitzkeit.

I need to find that woman schnell!

Aha.

Aha.

Danke.

Where did she go, Dad?

On a cruise.

I mean on a cruise.

Leaves today at 5:00 from Miami.

What are we waiting for? We gotta make a plane.

You're right, son. Let's go.

Uh! Smell that sea breeze, Kate.

I bet you feel better already, huh?

Oh, yeah, Annie. I feel at least 1/10,000th of 1 percent better.

Ladies.

Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

I know you, Kate. You're mulling.

Pretty soon that's going to lead to contemplation,

which leads to excess dwelling,

which isn't pretty.

This is the perfect environment to combat dwelling.

I've got live entertainment, two swimming pools, a disco.

I've even got shuffleboard. Come.

Annie, I had a three-year relationship with Edward.

I mean, it can't end just like that.

Well, personally, I subscribe to the thousand-day principle.

Huh?

If a guy hasn't married you in a thousand days, forget it.

You know, you may be right.

Every time the subject of marriage would come up,

he would start talking about tobogganing

or the weather or the vanishing American Eagle

or anything.

You know, I'm surprised I never dated Edward.

Sounds exactly like the kind of man I always get.

I mean, I could see it so clearly,

but I didn't want to. Oh, no.

I was so anxious for him to be

the prince on the white horse

that I didn't realize the horse

was heading in the wrong direction.

Good, Kate. Get it all out of your system.

Did he think that all I had to do with my life

was to sit around waiting for someone to marry me?

I mean, did I force him into it? I don't need that.

I mean, who does he think he is?

[MAN SCREAMS] Oh, dear!

Oh, are you all right?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Your puck, ma'am.

You see, I was just--

[CHUCKLES] I-- I have this--

It's a very long story.

Yeah, about three years.

Take care.

MAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Your attention, please.

All visitors must be off the ship in five minutes.

Kate! Kate!

Whoa!

Sorry, mister.

Rick? What are you doing here? Hi, Annie.

Kate, I've been looking all over the ship for you.

So is Dad, somewhere.

Listen, I'm glad I found you. You can't go on this cruise.

You gotta come back.

Listen, you guys, if you need me,

I'm gonna go talk to the captain.

I just love a man in epaulets.

Rick, how did you find me?

I called Kitty City. I told them it was a medical emergency.

Medical emergency?

It's my Dad's heart.

It's broken.

I see.

Kate, I want to apologize.

This whole mess, you and Dad not getting married,

you running away,

it's all my fault and I'm sorry.

We want you back.

[SIGHS]

Rick, it's not as simple as that.

Kate, I was afraid things were gonna change.

But you being gone, that's the worst change of all.

You should see me and Dad without you. We're pathetic.

We're moping around, sulking, pouting, discombobulated.

I tried to tell him a joke once, I said, "Knock, knock."

He said, "Nobody's home."

Kate, our once-happy home has become a house of gloom.

And doom.

Well, I'm not exactly enjoying myself either.

Kate, I'll do anything to have you back.

I'll clean up my room.

I'll never leave my hockey stick out.

I'll feed Fluffy cat treats.

Just come back. Marry us.

Dad! Rick!

Dad, down here!

Kate! Kate, stay right there!

Ma'am, I'll give you 100 dollars for your flowers.

Thank you very much.

Hi. Hi.

I would have been here sooner, but I stopped to get you these.

Ah!

Thank you. Yeah.

So...

...how's it going?

Your attention, please.

All visitors must leave the ship immediately. Thank you.

Well, thank you for coming to see me off.

You're not coming with us?

Look... Kate, listen to me, please.

I know I've hurt you

and I'd give anything to not have put you through that.

I made you feel like I wouldn't have proposed to you

if you hadn't brought it up, and maybe that's true.

But believe me, since you left...

I've had plenty of time to think about what I need for my life.

And you're everything I've ever wanted.

Kate, come back with me now and marry me.

If you do, I promise you,

I'll spend the rest of my life making sure

you never regret it for a second.

No.

BOTH: No?

Oh, come on, Kate. I worked on that speech

all the way down here on the plane.

You're not supposed to say no.

What is it? What do you want?

Time. I mean, time to think things over.

That's why I'm on this cruise.

Well, don't you--?

I think we'd better go, Dad. I'm not finished yet.

Wait, wait now!

If you don't come with us, I'll buy a ticket

and go on the cruise with you!

We're sold out.

I'll buy the boat!

Will you write to us, Kate?

Sure, I will. Bye.

We have got to increase our productivity.

I want a breakdown of every cost factor by Tuesday.

Never mind, I'll do it myself.

If you keep working so hard, you will have a breakdown.

Well, it keeps my mind off a certain personal situation.

I understand completely.

If I were in your situation, I'd be devastated.

The very thought of my girl running off

in some cruise filled with strapping young men,

headed for some exotic Caribbean resort,

that would plunge me into complete and utter despair.

Thanks. I feel so much better now.

Dexter, wait! Don't get on that phone, please.

I need to call my office. Can't you do that later?

Rick. Please.

Are you, by any chance, expecting

an important phone call?

No. No. [PHONE RINGS]

In fact, Dad, that's probably for you.

Yeah, hello?

KATE [OVER PHONE]: Hi, Edward.

Kate!

It's Kate.

Hi. Are you calling from the ship?

How do I sound?

Great.

When are you coming back?

The cruise goes for another six weeks.

Six weeks?

You sound upset.

I bet you've got your hand on the back of your neck.

You really shouldn't tug on your ear like that.

Edward, I've been doing

an awful lot of thinking about us,

and I wanna ask you just one question.

Anything.

Will you marry me?

Ha!

Yes, I'll marry you!

Oh, honey, those are the best words

I've ever heard.

Then how about a kiss?

How did you--?

Thanks for coming.

Thank you. Thanks.

Thanks for coming.

These are Kate's parents.

Oh, you had to come.

Hello. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Excuse me.

There's no need to be nervous, Edward.

Well, I am, okay? There.

Well, something I'd like to say to you.

Yes?

Well, this is a very important day for me

because two of the people I love most in the world

are getting married.

I hope the love and warmth you have for each other

will help create a happy home and a beautiful life.

I wish you joy and contentment in perpetuity.

Thank you.

That was very nice.

I didn't know you could be so sentimental.

Well, I never mentioned this to you,

but when I was in business school,

I worked as a writer for Hallmark.

We've been checking out the wedding gifts, Mr. Stratton.

I don't wanna say you're getting a lot of toaster ovens,

but you can make toast for 106 people at the same time.

Well, I guess it's time to give

the old best man the ring, huh?

Dad. Now, Rick,

it's extremely important

you're very careful with this ring...

Dad. ...and know where it is at-- Where is it?

I can't find it. Dad.

What's happening? What? You already gave me the ring.

I was just checking.

Oh, Katie, you look better than Liz Taylor did,

all eight times combined. Oh.

Oh, Annie, I am so nervous.

I know.

Am I doing the right thing?

Oh, Katie, now listen to me. I'm your best friend.

Edward loves you, and you love him.

He's warm and kind and loving and sweet,

and I've paid a lot of money for this dress.

Katie.

Oh, my darling girl.

I've waited so long for this day.

I thought it would never come.

Thank you. Thanks, Mom.

I'm glad you waited for the right man.

And I'm so happy for you.

Can you believe it? She's nervous.

Katherine, my little girl.

Do you remember how nervous you were

when you were 7 years old

and you had to sing "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

for the Christmas pageant at school?

Yeah, I tripped going up to the stage,

tore my costume, forgot my words,

and my red nose fell off.

Oh, yeah.

But you lived, right?

Well, I better get going now.

Bye.

You know she's right. I know.

My son.

Father, you made it.

We thought you were in Switzerland

for that world peace meeting.

I was. We had a big fight in the hotel

about who should have which room,

so we adjourned.

Anyhow, I wanted to be here. I wouldn't miss this.

How many times does a man's son get married?

Well, in this case, twice.

Maybe he'll get it right this time.

Edward, I have a little token here for you.

Well, thank you, Father.

At least it's not a toaster oven.

What is it?

A toaster oven company.

Wow!

Well, thank you, Father. This is just what I needed.

Well, I didn't feel like giving you

some common crystal or linen company.

[LAUGHS]

This is great, Grandfather.

You and my dad weren't even speaking a few years ago.

Now you're giving him a company.

It isn't going broke, is it?

Sound as the dollar.

Now, Edward, I'd like to give you

a little piece of advice.

Take care of your bride, cherish her.

If she is as good to you

as your mother Abigail was good to me,

you're a very lucky man.

Thank you, Father.

And one other thing, when you go out there

and exchange vows in front of all those people...

Yes, Father?

...don't blow it.

It's time.

♪ Da-da-da-da ♪

Well, good luck.

Thank you, Father.

Rick, did I give you the ring?

Yes, Dad, I have the ring.

Just checking.

I guess this is it, huh?

Yeah, I guess it is.

Dad, when I get married-- I mean, if I get married,

I hope I'm lucky enough to find someone

as good as Kate.

You will be.

And when you have a son of your own...

I hope you're lucky enough to have one as good as you.

Okay.

Go get them, Dad. Yeah.

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["WEDDING MARCH" ON HARP PLAYS]

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here together in the sight of God

and in the face of this company

to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.

Will you, Edward,

take this woman whom you now hold by your right hand

as your lawful and wedded wife?

Will you love, honor, cherish,

keep her in health, forsaking all others,

and keep yourself to her only,

so long as you shall both live?

I will.

And will you, Kate,

take this man whom you now hold by your right hand,

as your lawful and wedded husband?

Will you love, honor and keep yourself to him only

so long as you shall both live?

I will.

Place the ring on her finger.

[SIGHS]

Go.

Repeat after me.

With this ring I thee wed.

With this ring...

I thee wed.

Then do I in the presence of these witnesses

and by virtue of the authority vested in me

by the laws of this state,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[PLAYS "WEDDING MARCH"]

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