Hello. I'm Mister Ed.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
Well. Hmm.
Where is everybody?
Ed?
Uh-oh.
Ed, I told you not to spy
on our new neighbors.
I'm not spying.
I'm just exercising my eyes.
Quit sticking your nose
in other people's business.
Well, it's such a big nose. I
have to stick it some place.
Who are they?
Mr. and Mrs. Harper
and their teenage
daughter Emmy Lou.
Go on, Wilbur. What
other gossip do you know?
Well, they just moved
in. Their furniture is...
Ed, you're nothing
but a busybody.
If there's anything
I can't stand,
it's a peeping horse.
Big deal.
Come on. Back in the barn.
Back in the barn.
Now I got to watch a
daytime soap opera.
That's right. Get in the
barn and you stay there.
Okay.
Wilbur.
Emmy Lou came over
to ask a favor of you, hun.
Mr. Post, I know
we just moved in,
and I wouldn't want
to impose on you.
That's all right,
honey. Impose away.
Well, I'm not going
steady with anyone...
I'd be delighted.
I feel I should warn you
my fox trot's holding up well,
but my twist is bent.
Emmy Lou is serious.
I'm sorry, honey.
What's the favor?
Can I pull a hair
from your horse's tail?
You, uh, want to pull
a hair from Ed's tail?
Mm-hmm. I was reading in
this book called Love Charms,
and it says right here,
"If you pluck a hair from
the tail of noble steed,
then love will come
to a heart in need."
Honey, you don't mind, do you?
I'm going to use
it in a love potion.
You be my guest.
Better yet. I'll be
right back. Excuse me.
Ooh.
There you are, dear.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Post.
Don't mention it, Emmy
Lou. Anytime at all.
Thank you. Oh.
"If you pluck a hair from
the tail of a noble steed..."
What did you use to catch
me with, dear? A horse's tail?
No, an angry father.
Ed, stop being such a baby.
Gee, when Emmy Lou
told me her problem,
it got me right here.
Ah, you know where it got me.
All this fuss over
one little hair.
Pluck a hair from the
tail of a noble steed,
and pretty soon a
toupee he'll need.
Martha, I thought we
had her adenoids out.
What hurts me has nothing
to do with my adenoids.
George, dear, read your paper.
What do you mean read my paper?
I'm a paid-up
member of this family.
I have a right to know
what's troubling her.
Well, if you must know, Daddy,
I've been reading
a book on romance,
and I mixed a love potion.
You what?
Your daughter is the
only girl in Franklin High
who isn't going steady.
Oh.
I'm an old maid,
and you just sit there.
You're too young to go steady.
Aha.
Spying again, huh?
Who's spying? I was just
sniffing the rhododendron.
Ed, it's getting so you know everything
that goes on in the whole neighborhood.
I do not. I'm not one bit
interested in what anyb...
Hey, there goes Charlie Davis.
Charlie Davis?
That high school boy who
always needs a haircut.
He's gone ape
over Peggy Phillips.
You say you don't snoop, huh?
How come you
know all this stuff?
I happen to have a
little radar in my ears.
Well, you better get that
radar out of your ears,
or I won't put any
carrots in your mouth.
Look, Ed, you go
back to the barn.
And if I find you
snooping once more,
I'm going to send you to
bed without any television.
Oh, brother. It's tough
to be an only horse.
Back in the barn, Ed.
Hmm, I never heard
that muffler before.
I wonder who that is.
Looks like a new delivery boy.
Why doesn't he
use the back door?
Oh, look, Mother. The man
from the grocery store's here.
Uh, put it over here, sir.
Uh, do you go to Franklin High?
Oh, I'm a sophomore, too.
Uh, how come I've
never seen you at school?
Mother, isn't that interesting?
He just moved into town.
Must be an exchange student.
Ask him what country
he comes from?
Where are you from?
He's from New Jersey.
My name's Emmy Lou
Harper. What's yours?
- Huh?
- What's your name?
Goodbye, Arthur.
How could she understand him?
They're teenagers.
Hello, Taffy? Taffy, guess
who just walked into my life.
Mr. Wonderful. He's a dream.
Huh. That's a dream?
I'm going to get out
of here before I go ape.
Yes, he's wearing
his own buckle.
Yeah.
Darn it. I wish this
wasn't Saturday.
Now I have to wait all the way
till Monday to see Arthur at school.
Yeah, well, I'll
see you later. Bye.
Emmy Lou, honey, take the
groceries in the kitchen for me.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
Hello, Mr. Bailey.
This is Mrs. Harper.
I'd like to order
some more groceries,
and have them delivered
immediately, will you, please?
Oh, Mother, you and Taffy
are the two best
girl friends I've got.
Ed.
I'll bet you think
I was snooping.
Oh, no, no.
You were just looking at
your reflection in the window
to see if your mane
was on straight.
You know what that teenage
little hair-puller is trying to do?
She now has her mother
ordering more groceries.
I don't care.
All I know is you broke your
promise to me not to snoop.
It wasn't a real promise.
What do you mean?
I had my hooves crossed.
Do you really think
Arthur will like it?
If he doesn't, dear, don't
bother with him. He's dead.
Oh, Wilbur, doesn't
Emmy Lou look adorable?
Emmy Lou?
I thought it was Zsa Zsa.
Oh, Mr. Post.
Here. A little here, there,
and on the wrists there.
Why waste time? Just drink it.
Oh, look, Mr. Post.
I soaked a hair
from your horse's tail
in the love potion
for over 24 hours,
and now I made a ring out of it.
What do you know?
My horse is engaged.
I just hope the charm
works on Arthur.
Mmm.
What does that mean?
Ma chérie, you are irresistible.
You really think so?
Gee, Arthur's never
seen me in high heels.
Just make sure he gets
a whiff of this perfume.
If it does what the bottle
says, your problems are over.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
It's Arthur.
You?
Hello, Arthur. Come in.
More groceries, honey? He
was just here an hour ago.
You never can tell when
people are going to drop in, right?
And I like to be prepared
for any emergency.
It sounds more
like a conspiracy.
Arthur, Emmy Lou will
take care of the groceries.
Emmy Lou? Honey?
Oh.
I guess delivering groceries,
you run into a lot of
girls from Franklin High.
You haven't?
Oh, well, in that case,
since you're new in town
and don't know any girls...
Gina Galuzzi. Gina Galuzzi.
See Italy's newest star at
your neighborhood theater.
Arthur, I...
Here is a scene from
her latest film, Bitter Love.
Buon giorno, Roberto.
Oh, Gina, sei giù.
Buon, buon.
Un vino. Fantastico.
Grazie, Gina.
Gina, che bella che sei.
Roberto.
Gina, cala.
Oh, che bella.
Did you hear what he said?
Oh, I don't know what he said,
but it's the first time
I understood him.
Ah, now I think I know
how to handle Arturo.
Arturo?
Oh, Emmy Lou, more groceries?
I think there's still a chance
to make him notice me.
Honey, if your father sees
any more groceries come in...
And besides, dear, there's
a limit to chasing a boy.
Now think of your pride.
Pride?
Pride comes after
you're going steady.
Oh.
Poor Arturo.
He's going to get it right
in the old pasta fazool.
So you're back here again, huh?
Ed, you are
positively incorrigible.
Thanks, Wilbur. I'm
glad we made up.
Come on. Back to the barn.
Ooh.
We have moved.
George.
Come in, Arthur.
Buon giorno, Arturo.
Buon giorno, Arturo.
Prego, prego.
Eh, Arturo.
Prego, prego?
Oh, now George, I told you
she's just going through a phase.
She looks more like
she's been through a swap.
You're so right. Women
should be so natural.
Oh, yes, I'd love
to go to the movies.
Very prego.
Tonight? "Volare
dipinto di blu," Arturo.
Here.
Why can't he use the back door?
That's why I built a house with
a front door and a back door.
Bye, Arthur.
Aw, come on, Wilbur.
This is dirty pool.
I'm sorry, Ed.
It's the only way
I can teach you
to keep your nose out of
other people's business.
But it's such a drag.
Mr. Post?
Come in, Emmy Lou.
It worked! It worked!
I've got a date with Arthur.
And it's all because
of Mr. Ed's tail.
Hello?
Would you mind repeating
what you just said?
If you said anything.
It's a young boy who doesn't
speak English very well.
Oh, that must be Arthur.
I guess my mother
told him I was here.
Hello, Arthur?
Oh, Arthur, that's terrible.
Oh, please don't call
off the date. Please.
What happened, honey?
Arthur's left
rear tire blew out,
and he doesn't have a spare.
Look, it's times like this that
a woman has to be brave.
Yeah, but it's tough to be
brave when you're pushing 15
and your best years
are behind you.
Ed, isn't it funny how these
kids think life ends at 15?
What are you crying for?
You think puppy love is funny?
Oh, what's with you?
First you were against Emmy
Lou. Now you're all for her.
You just don't
understand us teenagers.
Oh, boy.
But, Daddy, we don't
want your whole car.
Just one tire.
Just one tire?
George, couldn't you
let them have the spare?
And what happens if we have
a flat when we're out tonight?
But, Daddy, you and
mom don't need to go out.
You're married.
I'm married.
Darling, it's Arthur's car,
so I think it's
his responsibility.
But, Daddy, Arthur
doesn't have enough money
to take me to the
movies and buy a tire.
Well, maybe if he'd quit
eating apples for a while,
he could afford both.
Oh, Daddy, you
just don't understand.
I'm sorry to bother
you again, Mr. Post.
Honey, I'd like to help you,
but, I mean, if your own father
won't let you have a spare tire,
it would be wrong for me to.
But, Mr. Post, Daddy
just doesn't understand.
He thinks I'm too young
to be going steady.
Well, you're not exactly
over the hill, you know.
Well, Juliet was only 13
when she was going
steady with Romeo.
Yeah, but look at the mess
those two kids got into. Ick.
Besides which, I think
your father's right, dear.
I mean, after all, why should
you give Arthur a spare tire
just so you can get a date?
Arthur just has enough
money to take us to the movies.
He doesn't have
$5.00 for a tire.
Why doesn't he sell
that loud muffler of his?
I'd give him $5.00 myself.
Sell his muffler?
Without that muffler,
there would always be
a piece of Arthur missing.
Honey, this isn't
the end of the world.
It is for me.
I've just got to get
that tire for Arthur.
I feel sorry for her, Ed,
but if I were to help her
without her father knowing,
I could never face him.
Ed, I thought at least
you would understand.
It's easier to
understand Arthur.
Going, going, gone.
Sold to Gloria for 60 cents.
- Your money?
- Oh, here you go.
And now girls. Girls.
This very treasured
possession of mine.
Oh, wow.
This brand-new
bikini bathing suit
that my father
won't let me wear.
What are my bids?
I'll bid 10 cents.
Gloria, how could you
only bid 10 cents for
this brand-new bikini?
Well, my father won't
let me wear it, either.
Anybody have an
understanding father?
Sold to Gloria for 10 cents.
I wonder how
I'd look in a bikini.
There's nothing else to
auction, and I'm still a dollar short.
Wait a minute, girls.
This last item is this
Bobby Dexter record.
Who needs that?
Who needs it?
This Bobby Dexter
record's a collector's item.
It's the only flop he ever made.
I'll bid 25 cents.
Marjorie, are you kidding?
Only 25 cents for "I Wonder
Who's Sharing Your Straw"?
There were only seven of these
records sold in the whole world.
It's the worst record
Bobby Dexter ever made.
He wasn't even
Bobby Dexter then.
He was still Elmer Diggins.
Hmm, maybe that would
make a good souvenir.
55 cents.
It's worth a dollar.
65.
70.
80.
90.
$1.00.
Sold.
It was a rotten trick, but
Emmy Lou needed the dollar.
I sure hope
Arthur likes the tire.
Here, try this.
Hello?
Oh, no, Arthur.
What happened?
Now Arthur's battery went dead.
Mr. Post.
Emmy Lou, we're right back
where we started with the tire.
If your father won't give you
a battery, then I can't, either.
Well, in that case, you might
as well have this hair ring back.
I guess your horse wasn't
very lucky for me after all.
I just can't.
You already said no.
You don't have to rub it in.
See? Now my buddy
thinks I'm a jinx.
I feel bad enough
without you starting on me.
Scrooge.
Fagin.
Simon Legree.
Don't you start blaming me.
Maybe you are a jinx.
I mean how come
Arthur's tire blew out
and then his battery went dead?
Why do you guilty
people always yell?
I am not yelling.
Me thinks he doth
protest too much.
Well, I'm not going
to stand around here
arguing with a screwball horse
who has no right to be
talking in the first place.
And you are a jinx.
See?
Doesn't your father or Mr. Post
understand how
important your date is?
Well, they think
they're doing right.
It's just that grownups
are so mixed up today.
Hello?
Oh, Mr. Post.
Oh, oh, oh, that's
wonderful, Mr. Post.
Oh, thank you.
No, don't mention it.
After all, that's what
neighbors are for.
Bye-bye.
That's the nicest thing
anybody ever said to me.
Arthur, it just wouldn't
be right to kiss you.
Well, gee, we're not
even going steady.
Well, in that case...
True love always finds a way,
but sometimes it
needs a little help.
Come in.
Mr. Post, I want
to thank you again
for lending me
your horse last night.
Even my father said it
was a fair compromise.
Oh, think nothing of it, dear.
I knew if I put my mind to it,
that I could come up
with some brilliant solution.
Thank you.
Brilliant solution, huh?
That was my idea.
What did you say?
You just don't
understand us teenagers.
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪
♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
♪ He's always on
a steady course ♪
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪
♪ And waste your time of day ♪
♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪
♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪
♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪
♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪
♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
02x26 - Ed, the Matchmaker
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A horse named Mister Ed shares his words of wisdom only with Wilbur, his hapless owner.
A horse named Mister Ed shares his words of wisdom only with Wilbur, his hapless owner.