01x14 - Mike's Brother

Episode transcripts for the TV show "My Three Sons". Aired: September 29, 1960 - April 13, 1972.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Widower Steve Douglas raises a trio of boys.
Post Reply

01x14 - Mike's Brother

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ ♪

Away from the stove.

What are we having?

Wait and see.

Oh, that's what we always have.

Then why do you keep asking?

'Cause you said a
quitter never wins.

I think I heard your
dad drive in with the car.

Now, go and dredge
up Mike and Robbie.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hands off.

What are we having?

Bub's afraid to tell us.

You know, I, I can't figure
out what happened to your dad.

Want me to go see?

I want you to sit down there
and keep those hands clean.

♪ ♪

Didn't Robbie hear you, Chip?

He grunted.

Well, that was friendly.

Hey, Robbie!

All right, I'm coming!

I guess that wasn't
Steve's car I heard.

I must have been hearing things.

Hi.

Hi, Bub, hi, Chip, Mike.

Hey, Steve, what
took you so long?

What took me so long?

Have you ever heard of a man
being trapped in his own garage?

In our garage?

I never go in there
without emergency rations.

What are you
fellows trying to do?

Air-condition the kitchen?

Oh, I've never seen
it like it was tonight.

What have you fellows
been doing in there, anyway?

We were playing army.

Well, play army some
other place, will you?

Must have taken me a
half hour to clean it up

so I could get my car in.

Mike, did you park your car

over on my side
farther or something?

I don't think so.

Here, let me help you. Thanks.

You know, Robbie's
motor takes up

quite a bit of room.

Wait till he builds
a car around it.

Hands off, Dad.

Hmm?

Keep your nose out of there.

Okay. ROBBIE: Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Rob.

And you stay out of there, too.

We thought you were waiting
for an engraved invitation.

Did you make the
basketball team?

I don't have time
for basketball.

That's not what you
said this morning.

Well, we've gotta do
something about that garage.

It'd help if Chip and
Robbie get some

of their junk out of the way.

Say, it looks like I may
land a part-time job.

Oh? I don't have much
stuff in the garage.

No, it's those cars that
take up all the room.

All right, now, you
guys were so anxious

to know what we're
having, it's... Stew.

Mulligan stew.

What kind of a job is it, Mike?

A salesman at the Ellis
Sporting Good store. Good.

Who's the salesman over there?

Well, I got a chance to be.

Hey, no kidding.

Can you get me a special
deal on baseball cards?

Well, I can try.

If you don't have
time for basketball,

why'd you try out today?

For laughs.

Anyway, I figured
one big basketball star

in the family's enough.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means Robbie
didn't make the team.

I, uh, drew up some plans for
storage shelves in the garage.

I wonder whatever
happened to them?

Probably got stored
away for safekeeping.

Yeah, in the garage.

Mr. Carlson expects a
guy to be an Olympic champ

just to get on his old team.

Oh, I don't know,
I never thought

the coach was so tough.

He thinks you're
just the greatest.

Well, it looks like
a good salad, Bub.

Well, thanks.

I remember paying
the bill for the lumber

to make the shelves.

They delivered the
lumber weeks ago.

That's another reason you
can't get into the garage.

When do you start
work for Mr. Ellis?

Well, I haven't
exactly got the job yet.

Barnaby Haws and
I are both up for it.

You know, Mike, I
also remember that you

and Robbie were supposed
to put up those shelves.

What happened?

What shelves?

The storage shelves
in the garage.

Who did make the
basketball team?

I don't know.

Whenever I had any time to work,

Robbie wasn't around.

What are you blaming on me now?

How is Ellis gonna decide
between you and Barnaby?

He's gonna try us
both out on the job.

See which one works out best.

Mike, you and Robbie do
the job on Saturday, hmm?

At Ellis'? In the garage.

I want those shelves
put up Saturday.

Oh, gee, Dad.

It's this Saturday that
Barnaby and I are supposed

to work at the store.

Well, couldn't we hold off
on the shelves till next week?

Mike, we've held
off too long already.

I'd hate to miss
out on this, Dad.

I mean, you're always telling
us, if you want extra money...

Okay, okay. You
can split the job.

You come home
after school tomorrow

and put up half the shelves,

and Robbie, you put
up half on Saturday.

Well, that's fine with me.

Okay, Robbie?

Okay.

I'll hunt up the
plans after dinner.

Fine. I'm just tired of having
to climb over something

every time I drive into that
garage and get out of the car.

You know, Robbie,
maybe you didn't make

the basketball team
because you try too hard.

Did you ever think of that?

Yeah, I remember
the first time I tried out

for basketball. I
had the idea that...

Who needs basketball?!

I mean, nobody could be as
good as the coach thinks you are,

so why break my neck trying?!

Hi. Where you been?

Old Lady Manders
kept me in after school.

Oh. I always thought she
looked pretty sharp for a teacher.

Yeah, well, you were
probably so great,

she didn't have it in for you.

Look, I want to show you

what I've done here. I can see.

Well, anyway, you
shouldn't have any trouble

finishing it tomorrow.

Boy, some swell Saturday.

Just stick to Dad's
plans and you can't miss.

Oh, and be sure and get
these wall supports in solid

because if you...
I'll finish the shelf.

My half won't be perfect
like yours, but I'll get it up.

Hey, what's your
beef all of a sudden?

What beef?

I mean about you not
doing things as well as me.

Not so fast.

You're sore at me,
and I want to know why.

I'm not sore at you. Let go.

Not till I get an answer.

Now, look, I'm sick and
tired of being needled

and not knowing why.

Yeah, well, I'm tired of
using your old b*at-up books,

and I'm tired of wearing the
clothes you don't want anymore!

I'm sick of hearing
how great you are,

coming off second-best
'cause you're such a champ!

I'm fed up with being
in hot water all the time

'cause you were lucky
enough to get yourself born first!

Well, well, look at
this, Sleeping Beauty.

What's for breakfast?

Help yourself.

Hey, I thought, uh, Robbie
was going to get an early start

this morning on his
half of the shelves.

I ought to have booted him out

when I got up, but lately,

he squares off at me if I
even ask him the time of day.

Oh, don't worry about it, Mike.

He'll get over it.

And good luck.

I mean, uh, I hope
you get the job.

Oh, I'm not too worried.

I mean, uh, Barnaby's
a brainy guy and all,

but let's face it, he has

no sales dynamics.

Oh.

Bub, how about giving me
a hand with those shelves?

Dad said you'd probably ask.

Sorry, I got work
enough of my own.

Come on, Tramp, get up.

I'll be out there till dark.

Why didn't you get
up early like Mike?

Oh!

Hey, hup!

Hello?

Oh, hi, Trish.

No, uh-uh, I've been
up for a couple of hours.

Ha, ha!

No kidding? Down at Riverview?

Wow.

Yeah, sounds great.

Hey, will you cut it out?!

No, not you, Trish.

Hey!

Hold it a second, will ya?

Hey, wait a minute, Trish.

Hold on a second.

Hello, Trish?

Sorry, it's my
little kid brother.

Yeah, I guess they all are.

Um, listen, Trish, that
barbecue sounds swell,

but I'm not sure if I
can make it today.

Yeah, well... hold on a second.

Excuse my feather
duster, but some of us

have got work to do
around here today.

Hello, Trish?

Yeah, uh, well are you
gonna be at the park all day?

Uh, why, why don't
I... uh, why don't I...

why don't I...?

Excuse me.

Why don't I come
over as soon as I can?

Yeah, thanks.

Call you.

Trish?

Trish?

Trish?

I don't see what this has
to do with being a salesman.

We'd better check
that freight receipt

and make sure that's
all of the shipment.

♪ ♪

Hi, Charley.

Mr. Ferguson.

I'll take care of him, Barnaby.

Good morning, sir.

Oh, I, I just came
in to see Charley.

Well, I'm working for Mr. Ellis.

What can I do for you?

Well, I got all
set to go fishing,

I looked in my tackle box,

and, well, I couldn't find...

You know, I knew you were a
fisherman the moment I saw you.

You're really in luck, sir.

We just got in a new
shipment of reels.

All I need right now, is...

Unloaded them myself.

Oh, you've gotta see these.

Here we are.

Look at that little beauty.

It'll give you the
kind of control

that you've always wanted.

Well, it looks nice, but
I'm not interested today.

Man! Got to hurry.

Light as air, but,
uh... guaranteed

to keep your feet warm and dry.

Now, if you'd care to come
over here and sit down,

I can have you
fitted in a jiffy.

Don't need boots.
Never wear them.

Here. Do yourself a
favor and try this rod out.

I'm strictly a live-bait man.

I used to feel the
same way myself,

but fly fishing isn't
the same with a rod

like this... well, look
at the control you have.

Look at how easily I do this.

It's light, it's
strong, it's durable.

Be careful with
that, will you, son?

This'll last for a lifetime.

Look. There's
nothing to worry about.

It's okay, Mr. Ellis.

Just a little
accident. No problem.

Thanks.

Just a little accident.

Nothing. I'll have
these up in a jiffy.

I'm sorry, sir, but it's
just such a great product.

I wouldn't be surprised.

But what I came in for
was two bits worth of hooks.

Hooks?

You know. Fish hooks.

What size hooks, sir?

Number two.

Oh, boy! This is neat!

Hey, come on! Get
off of there, will you?

You're getting your
fingerprints all over there.

Boy, your part
looks neat, Robbie.

And you left lots of room
under here for the station wagon.

Yeah. That's what I figured.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Want some help?

Well, yeah. Grab it.

I can't believe it.

Hi, Dad. Surprised?

Yes. You might say that I am.

How do you like the way we...?

Boy! Something
must have gone wrong.

That is a reasonable assumption.

Well, I hope we've got
a car left under there.

Everything was okay when I left.

I can't understand
how it happened if you...

You know, Robbie,
I could have sworn

we had just enough of this
lumber for the knee braces.

How come you had this left over?

You did follow the
plans, didn't you?

Or maybe there was an earthquake
on that side of the garage, huh?

You should have let
Mike do the whole thing.

Now, wait a minute, Robbie.

I give up. Why try?

I mean, everything I do,
Mike can always do a lot better.

Just because Mike's
side of the shelf didn't...

I mean, Mike's
better at everything.

You all think so.

And even if you don't
say it, I know what you feel.

Mike never goofs.

I'm always the one who
ends up looking like a dope.

Come on. Get up.

Rob, let me get
this straight, now.

Are you trying to tell me

that this isn't your
fault, but Mike's?

Not exactly his fault.

But not yours either.

The shelf didn't fall

because you might
have been in a hurry

and did a bad job on it, huh?

It fell because
you're Mike's brother,

and we expect too much of you?

Is that it?

It seems like all I hear
is "Mike, Mike, Mike."

Is that maybe the reason

you didn't make
the basketball team?

And why you're having
trouble in History?

You don't understand
what I mean.

Yes, yes. I think I do, Rob.

Yeah. Anytime you
fall on your face,

you, uh... you've
got a built-in excuse.

It's never your fault.

Sounds like a pretty
handy arrangement.

I wish I could dig up
something like that.

Come on, let's get
this stuff off here, huh?

Here, grab that end.

Wow, what's in there?

It's lucky we saved
that old mattress,

or we'd have a few
dents to take out.

Better get this baby
buggy out of here.

Come on, come on, Rob.

Come on, Rob, come on.

Robbie?

Remember when you used these?

Yeah, when I had
my broken ankle.

Gee, they sure have
gotten a lot shorter.

Of course, it might be
that you've gotten longer.

Anyway, they wouldn't

be much good to
you now, would they?

No, but I sure got
around on them then.

Remember how I'd go
rocketing off to school?

And all the tricks

I used to play with them?

Old Doc Woods, remember him?

"Robbie Douglas, you'll never
stand on your own feet again

"unless you throw
these things... away."

Yeah, I remember.

Hi.

Looks like somebody
scored a direct hit.

What, did you
forget to use nails?

Go ahead, rub it in.

I did it all wrong,
and I'm stupid, see?

Of course, a guy
as perfect as you

wouldn't know what that meant.

No, huh, you do
everything perfect.

I mean, everything I do is...

Mike, are you feeling all right?

I feel fine.

Except I didn't get the job.

He hired Barnaby.

Oh?

Did, uh, Mr. Ellis tell you why?

Well, first I wanted to think

that maybe Barnaby's dad
put the pressure on, but...

what's the use
of kidding myself?

While I was developing
my "sales dynamics,"

Barnaby went down to the store

after school last week
and learned to stock.

Hmm.

Pretty sneaky, huh?

It was smart.

Today, I showed up
looking like something

left over from last year's prom.

Barnaby was in work clothes.

And he worked... hard.

So, he got the job.

I'm perfect, all right.

I'm a... a perfect failure.

Well, quit slugging
yourself, Mike.

Anybody can make a mistake,
but not everybody will admit it.

Mike?

I'm sorry about the job.

Well, nothing's broken.

I don't think it'll
take us long to fix it.

Thanks, Dad.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, I guess you fellows
can get along without me, huh?

♪ ♪
Post Reply