04x12 - Cletus Falls in Love

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Well, it was one of them fine
spring mornings in Hazzard.

One of them days that it
was a privilege to be alive.

You could hear the sounds
of cotton buds popping.

Birds chirping,
and Cletus eatin'.

Come on, get 'em this time.

Oh, great.

- Bo..
- 'Hang on y'all.'

Oh, dang.

'Cletus has us boxed in.'

Oh, this is down
right embarrassin'.

Can be worse, you get one
more phony citation from Boss

you're gonna lose your
license, and I ain't far behind.

Fellas, I'll talk to him. He
always seems to listen to me.

Now, Ol' Cletus was
behind on givin' out tickets.

And Boss had threatened to
make Cletus the meter maid

on Hazzard's one
and only parking meter.

Well, I'm sorry, Bo. But I
have to give you a ticket.

- What for?
- What's the charge?

Boss' orders. You
know how it goes.

I just give out the ticket,
he fills in the charges.

Bo was driving real lady-like.

- Hi, Daisy.
- Hi, Cletus.

Now, I can vouch for Bo.
You believe me, don't you?

Well, sure Daisy, but
I-I still gotta do my duty.

Cletus, look what
you've gone and done.

Aww, sugar, can't you
find it in your big warm heart

to not give my poor little
cousins a nasty, nasty ticket?

- Well..
- Cletus.

Maybe just this
once for you, Daisy.

Oh, thank you. I love ya.

I'm gonna be late for work
so I'll say goodbye now.

- Thanks a lot, Cletus.
- See you later.

Buzzards on a buzzsaw!
Daisy Duke loves me.

- Mm-hmm.
- 'Now, you heard me, Hogg.'

Mm-hmm.

I'm conducting investigation
of all county probation officers.

And I want you to meet me
here, Capital City, tomorrow a.m.

Well, sir, are you implyin'
that I ain't doin' a proper job?

Not yet, Hogg, but as the
new state probation supervisor

I'm checking to see if you're
still qualified to keep the job.

a.m. sharp. You bring
those case books, you hear?

Argh!

- Son of a revenuer!
- What? What?

Rosco, we got ourselves a
new state probation supervisor.

- And you know somethin'?
- What?

If that feller ever takes a
gander in my case book

on Bo and Luke Duke,
he's gonna can me for sure.

Oh, that's terrible.

On account of them Dukes

got suspected violations
on their probation record

and I ain't got a conviction
on 'em even once.

Oh, that doesn't look
good for you, Boss.

Listen, you mind
if I have a little dip?

No, no, no! Get your
paws of my ham hogs.

And you start thinking of a
way that we can nail 'em Dukes.

Because if I lose my job
as county probation officer

and that big fat
paycheck that goes with it..

You're gonna be out on
your tailpipes as sheriff.

Oh, well, now listen.
I'll think of somethin'.

Oh, ah, ah, ah! Oh, umm.

Save your brains for
a rainy day, Rosco.

- I've got it.
- What?

I've just come up
with our little weenie.

Oh, goody-good, good.

- You see this?
- Yeah.

- You know what's in it?
- A little weenie.

- No.
- Couldn't be a little weeny.

It's the cash receipts from the
Boars Nest for the entire week.

And when I get through, is
what you're gonna do with bag

I'm gonna keep my job
as county probation officer.

I might even get a bonus
added to that paycheck.

And I'm gonna get a
conviction on 'em Dukes.

That'll get 'em out of
my hair once and for all.

Good, right out of your hair.

- But you don't have too...
- Ah, get off me!

Meanwhile, Ol' Cletus was
not making a real good recovery

from Daisy's kiss.

That boy was
higher'n a Georgia pie.

While Boss was baitin' his trap

Luke was checking
the railroad depot

to see if Uncle Jesse's
spring seed order had come.

And how much is that?

Uh, wait a minute.
Now you told Uncle..

Alright, Harlan,
talk to you later.

Dang him.

It's there alright, but he
said it's gonna cost bucks.

Now, he told Uncle Jessie .

Ah, sh**t.

Daisy, you got
bucks you can loan us?

- Sorry, I'm all tapped out.
- Yeah, me too.

We'll have to stop by
the bank, cash a check.

Hi.

- Hi, Daisy.
- 'Hi, Cletus.'

- Cletus.
- Get up, come on.

Thanks, fellas.

- Picked 'em myself.
- They're right pretty, Cletus.

Especially the poison
ivy. That's a nice touch.

Poison ivy!

Oh, I'm sorry, Daisy, I
just wanted to tell you..

When you kissed me and
told me what you told me

on the highway, you made
me the happiest fella in Hazzard.

I'll get you more
flowers and I'll be back.

Maybe we can have lunch.

Hmm, suave. The boy's seen
too many Cary Grant movies.

What in the heck's
gotten into him?

- I don't know - He don't drink.

Maybe he should.

What did you say to him?

I didn't say anything.
You fellas were there.

I thanked him for not
givin' y'all a ticket and I..

Oh.

I said, "I love you, Cletus."

- Oh, real funny.
- I remember, I remember.

I say that to everybody.
It's just a way of talkin'.

I think Cletus took you serious.

Don't worry about
it. He'll get over it.

- We better b*at feet, huh.
- Yeah, here keep this cold.

- I love you, Daisy.
- Get out of here, Bo.

Oh, my goodness.

Good, good.

Watch your daddy
and learn, Flash.

See, what's gonna
happen is 'em Duke boys..

They're at the Boars
Nest but they're gonna be

coming by here any minute now.

They're gonna see that bag
of money out there on the road

and they're gonna stop and pick
it up and then jingo we got 'em.

Grand theft! Ain't
we human sneaky?

Well, Flash has got it

but I ain't too sure
about the rest of us.

Oh-oh, here they come, Flash.

Now I know it's difficult,
but try to look alive.

They didn't even
stop, those fools.

Even for a bag of money.
Did-did you see that, Flash?

Did you see tha..

If she didn't see it, I
ain't gonna tell her.

You know what? If that'd
been a bucket of turnips

they'd have stopped.

Boss, this is Rosco. I'm sorry
I didn't nab them Duke boys.

Rosco, you are as
useless as an umbrella..

To a duck.

- Hey, Laverne.
- Hey, fellas.

Listen, can you take
care of Luke and me?

Sorry, I was going to lunch.
You'll have to see Mr. Hogg.

Rosco, you get your butt
back in the bank right away.

Them Dukes just walked
in here and I'm all alone.

Get you, - . I'm on.

You two delinquents are
just wasting your time here.

On account of we
run out of calendars

and the pens are
chained to the desk.

Is that any way to treat
two of your finest customers?

Boss, we got a check we want
to cash on our joint account.

Check? Alright, you'll
have to come back later.

All my tellers are out to lunch.

We ain't got time to come back.
Come on, it's only for bucks.

Alright, bucks, huh?

I'm just gonna have to check
out your balance then, ain't I?

Alright, I see you got
a balance of dollars.

I don't know why I waste my
time with such piddlin' accounts.

- It's signed and everything.
- Come on, just pay us will you?

Here, take your money and get.

That's our neighborhood
bank. Service with a smile.

Thanks a lot.

Dang them Dukes!
I just gotta nail 'em.

And I gotta do it by
o'clock tomorrow morning.

Or they're gonna cost
me my easy money job

as county probation officer.

Dang! Think, I gotta think.

Think, think, J.D., think.

'I got it. I got it.'

Oh my, oh my, J.D.,
you're living right.

Or else somebody up
there loves me anyhow.

I got here as fast
as I could, Boss.

Let me ask you, did those
Duke boys try to pull anything?

- Yeah, they did.
- They did.

They just passed a bad check.

For dollars.

Oh, ! Are you kidding
me? Let me see that.

And since they only got
dollars in their account

that makes 'em
guilty of grand loss.

Oh, right, let me see that.

And that violates
their probation.

I'm gonna show that
state probation officer fella

that I run a tight county.

- Oh, I see!
- Rosco!

Let me... look here.

Your eyes are going too, Boss.

Look, that's
dollars, it's not .

Mm-hmm. Now don't you worry.

By the time you drag
them boys in here it'll read..

hundred dollars.

Go on, go on. You pick
up them probation breakers

on a charge of embezzlement.

Go on! Get going.

I got work to do.

- Cletus!
- Hi.

Oh, I hope you
like these better.

Golly, I can't believe
this is happening to me.

Cletus, I can't believe this
is happening to you either.

Now, I think we
better have a little talk.

- Oh, boy. Me too.
- Uh-huh.

Because remember
back there on the highway

when I said a few things and,
and I think I said I love you.

Yeah, well you see, Cletus,
it's not quite like what I was..

What I was saying, I
didn't, I mean, I didn't...

I know, you're just
as nervous as I am.

- Cletus, I ain't, it's not...
- I know.

And you know something, Daisy?

Every time I come
close to you I hear music.

See what I mean?

- Music.
- Cletus, it's only the phone.

Hello, Boars Nest.

'Yes, he is, Mabel.
He's right here.'

Cletus, it's for you.

Thanks, honey. Deputy
Cletus Hogg here.

He was? He is.

Oh, okay, thanks, Mabel.

Rosco's looking all over
town for me. I gotta go.

We gotta finish
this conversation.

I know, we'll have
a little talk later.

- Cletus, I can't wait...
- Duty calls, I've gotta go.

- I know, honey.
- Please, Cletus...

- Cletus!
- There.

Cletus Hogg!

, , ..

, , .

Still don't think it's fair.

It's all there.

Let's get outta here.

You're a bandit!

Them Duke boys, we're
gonna cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

I love it, I love it.

We got company, cousin.

We've got that seed at the
back, Jesse's gonna be waiting.

- Can you shake 'em?
- Can a sheep dip?

While Ol' Rosco's on their tail

Cletus was coming at
'em from the other side.

Well, sort of.

She loves me, she loves me not.

Well, it's bye-bye Rosco.

And hello, Cletus.

She loves me, she loves me not.

He's still acting a mite funny.

She loves me! Ha ha ha!

Look out, Bo!

If them Duke boys ain't careful
they're liable to be planted

before their seed.

Cletus!

Cletus, you alright?

- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Cletus, what were you doing?

You almost k*lled
us. What happened?

Nothing happened.
Well, this happened.

Daisy loves me. Ha ha!

Alright.

Alright, you probation breakers.

Hold it right there.
Freeze, freeze, freeze.

Rosco, would you give
us the ticket and get on?

I'll give you a ticket,
alright, to the big house.

Alright, Cletus, cuff
'em and stuff 'em.

Boys, I'm sorry I got you caught
considering we're almost kin.

Cletus, will you quit
babbling and get on with it?

I wish you'd stop
babbling yourself, Rosco

and tell us what this is about.

I'll tell you what it's about.

It's that phony $
check that you two bounced.

That's what it's all about.

I didn't write no check
for $ , it was for $ .

bucks, just what he said.

Friends and neighbors,
there's a picture of a happy man.

And since Boss ain't eating

it must have something
to do with money.

You know, it looks like there
ain't no end to Boss' talent.

Imitatin' Bo's writing,
and borrowing a few zeros

he's done turned
out a perfect forgery.

That does it.

Look, $ .

'Sure, Boss, that's
my handwriting.'

But I didn't write it that way.

That check was only
made out for bucks.

It's a bald-faced lie you
tellin' us you gave us .

Well, we'll let the proper
authorities decide who's lying.

Meanwhile, I got all the
evidence to back me up.

Alright, what's going on here?

Why in thunderation are
them boys behind bars, J.D.?

For passing a bad check.
That's in thunderation why.

- Boss, that's a lie.
- He's trying to frame us.

Oh, it's right here, Jesse.
And now it's % rubber.

I mean, if I hadn't grabbed
it, it'd still be bouncing.

My cousins never wrote a
phony check in their whole lives.

- 'No?'
- No!

Hi, Daisy honey.

If they said you was
a-lyin', you was a-lyin'..

You big, fat, tub of
lard. Let me see that.

Don't you touch the
evidence, you old fossil.

That's right, and you stay
right here 'cause I'm the sheriff.

I want you to cease and desist.

Rosco, you get in my way,
I'm gonna cease and desist

that fat nose of yours.
I wanna see that check.

'Halt.'

No, siree.

I wish I could
help you boys, but..

Particularly since Daisy
and I have gotten so close.

Uh-huh.

Oh, that's alright, Cletus.

Y'all don't reckon that's
gonna work twice, do ya?

And I wanna thank you
for those kind feelings

you've been showing me, Cletus.

- You do?
- I do.

Boy, you got it bad, don't ya?

Well..

You fellas just excuse
us for a little minute.

That's alright,
Cletus, don't mind us.

Just go ahead and act
like we aren't even here.

Thanks.

Oh, the prisoners,
they're escaping!

'Cletus, get 'em.'

Hey, come back here!

Freeze!

'Hey, come back here.'

'Come on!'

Get 'em! Go get 'em!

- Cletus.
- What?

Get in your own
car. Oh, dipstick!

Luke, the creek!

'Yee-hoo!'

Oh, what a horrendous jump.

Oh, boy.

Ooh, Cletus! Ooh!

- Cletus looks like he's okay.
- Let's move on.

Find out what that phony
check business is all about.

Looks like I gotta
get a pilot license.

Yeah, don't worry
none. It's all set. Yeah.

When Rosco and Cletus returned

and reported that Bo
and Luke had escaped

Ol' Boss Hogg had himself
a big, bad bone-busting

wall-eyed fit.

Of all the bubble-brain,
bone-headed boobs

I just got through telling
that state supervisor fella

up in Capital City, that I
was gonna drag in them

two probation breakers in
chains to our o'clock meet

tomorrow morning. Now, I'm
gonna look like a real jackass.

- Well, maybe a little one...
- Now don't!

And what's more, that
fella is liable to fire me.

And I'm gonna lose
that big, fat paycheck.

Well, listen, Boss, it was
the dipstick's fault here.

It wasn't my fault.
You know something?

- He ought to be fired.
- You know something?

That's the first sensible thing
you've said in a long time.

Now, wait a minute.
It's not my fault.

Cletus, turn in that / th
Hogg blood of yours.

Right now. You're through.

But, Boss, it wasn't my fault.
I didn't open the door and...

Ah!

And turn in your hat
and this pea sh**t too.

And now, get, civilian.

- Thanks a lot, cousin.
- Hmm.

Look at that, he never did
keep it shined up or nothing.

- Listen, you wouldn't...
- No!

Cletus!

I almost hit you.

- Daisy.
- What happened?

- Oh, got fired.
- You did?

It's 'cause the boys
escaped, wasn't it?

No, not really.

Oh, Cletus, I'm so sorry.

Don't be sorry, sugar.
It wasn't your fault.

It was too.

No, look, I don't mind
losing my job, really.

- I'm glad they got away.
- You are?

Bo and Luke are cousins
to the girl that loves me.

- Now, hold on, Cletus.
- I love you too, Daisy.

Every time I come
close to you I hear music.

See what I mean?

Cletus! It's just the horn.

Now, Cletus, we
have got to talk.

I'd rather smooch.

No, we ain't gonna
smooch, Cletus.

You mean, after we get
married we can smooch.

Cletus, no, not
even after... Cletus!

What? You wanna talk?

I can't talk now. I gotta go.

Shy little thing.

Now while Daisy was
busy fighting off Cletus

the boys and Uncle Jesse
was having themselves

an emergency meeting.

Trying to figure out what
the Sam Hill was a-goin' on.

I wrote it down myself, $ .

Well, that J.D. has
done some sneaky things

but I never thought
he'd stoop to forgery.

The only way I
can figure out of it is

to get a hold of the check and
prove he added the two zeros.

'Hey, Daisy!'

Boys, you have got to do
something about Cletus.

He is convinced
he's in love with me.

Don't you laugh, I
can't talk him out of it.

And on top of all that,
Boss just fired him

on account of that jailbreak.

See what kind of mess
you got him in this time?

Me? It took both of us.

We're sorry you
got involved, Daisy.

You boys know it's
your bounden duty

to get his job back, don't ya?

The minute we take
care of that check

we're gonna have a
man-to-man talk with him.

We got a busy
afternoon ahead of us.

- See you at the house.
- We'll fix it, Daisy.

Rosco, I want you to listen
and I want you to listen good.

- I ain't got the Dukes.
- No.

- But I got their bounced check.
- Yeah, you got it.

I'm putting this check
in the Duke's charge file.

I'm gonna lock it up
in here for safe keeping

until I get back in the morning
from my journey to Capital city.

And... I want you
to guard this hear file

with your miserable hide
day and night, you hear me?

Right, day and night.

All day and all night?
That's hours, ain't it?

- Yeah.
- Well, I can't do that.

I'm only one people, you know.

You fired Cletus.
I have no help.

I've got Flash, but she's just
a puppy, she might bite you...

Listen, will you
please stop blubbering

like you was
related to that dog?

Listen, I've hired me another
lawman to replace Cletus.

You did? You hired somebody?

And he'll be here in
just a couple of minutes.

Good news, good
news, I appreciate it.

- Oh, you little fat...
- Get away from me.

Stay there.

I'll just stay right here.

You oughta watch where
you're walkin', Cletus.

- You alright?
- Never better, Mrs. Teasdale.

I'm in love with Daisy
Duke, and she loves me.

Good for you, sonny.

Now, if I could just
land Uncle Jesse

then we could have
ourselves a double date.

Geronimo!

Ya-hoo!

Hi, Cletus.

Well, there he is.
Ol' lover boy himself.

- I got an idea.
- Hmm?

You think you can spring
that check by yourself?

Yeah, it's gotta be in that
filing room somewhere.

That'd save us some time.

If you do that, I'll
have a talk with Cletus.

- Good luck.
- I'll need it.

Hey, Cletus.

Hi, Luke. Fancy
meetin' you here.

Come here a minute.

Me and Bo just
wanted to say that, uh..

We feel real bad
about being responsible

for gettin' you fired.

I don't know why Boss
thinks I had anything to do

with y'all getting away,
but don't feel bad about it.

I'd get fired from a
jobs for my sweet little Daisy.

It's time to feed Flash.

She's liable to keel
over from hunger.

Of course she hadn't
got very far to fall.

Poor little thing. Oh,
baby dear, Daddy's comin'.

I don't know how to say
this, but, uh, the other day

when we was in the road and
she kinda made that play for ya

and... well, me and
Bo put her up to it.

What?

'Good news, Flash.
It's time to rise and dine.'

Go ahead and wrap your
little wrinkled gums around

that plate of goodies.

Go, go. Ooh, "bone appetit."

Flash, I'll... oh, Bo Duke,
what are you doing here?

Oh, I see what you're
doing. Put that down.

- Put that g*n away.
- I'm serious.

- Alright.
- Put it down.

Freeze!

Stop, you thief!

Oh!

Cletus, look, I'm
your friend, right?

Me and Bo and Daisy,
we're all your friends.

We've been friends
since we was little kids.

And, uh, well, she likes ya.

I mean, we all like ya,
but she don't love ya.

Yes, she does. She
told me so herself.

- And she's always kissing me.
- Cletus!

Now, just hold
on a minute, Luke.

You don't know what you're
talking, I know Daisy loves me.

I'm on the way to the farm to
give her this box of pralines.

She wants to have
a talk about us.

- I got struck out.
- So did I.

Come on, we gotta get
going. Rosco's coming.

Bo, that guy ain't even lookin'.

You know, jaywalking is
awful dangerous anywhere.

But that boy is
from out of town.

Come back here!

Boss?

- Nice getaway.
- That was as easy as pie.

Little fat buddy. Are
you alright under there?

No, I'm not alright.
Look, look, look!

You're letting them
Duke boys get away.

Well, yes, kind of.

Alright, alright, look, look.

You arrest this
idiot pie man here

for as*ault with
a deadly w*apon.

Deadly alright, but delicious.

- Yeah?
- You know..

I think that's
cherry. I love cherry.

- Cherry?
- Yeah.

- Oh, no, it ain't.
- No?

- That's elderberry, you nitwit.
- Elderberry?

This is definitely cherry.

- No, it ain't.
- And this is lemon-lime.

- Lemon-lime?
- Lemon-lime chiffon.

It's rhubarb. Now,
cut it out, will ya?

Oh, my goodness. It's too late
to get them Duke boys, ain't it?

What were they doing anyhow?

Well, I caught 'em trying
to break into the file room.

I see.. They didn't
get their check?

Are you kidding? With Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane on the job.

I got that check safe
and sound right there.

Oh, right there, huh?

Oh, no, Boss, that's my uniform.

- Boss! Boss!
- I've got to get cleaned up.

- Boss, listen.
- Come on. Come on.

Help me back to my
office. I gotta get cleaned up.

We better get cleaned up
before the fruit flies get to us.

Yeah, come on.

Alright, now, get
out of that vehicle.

I'm serious. Get on out.

You want trouble? I
tell ya, you're in trouble.

I am Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
You're nothin' but trouble.

You just... did you know..

Well, if it ain't big Sheriff
Little of Chickasaw county.

And, friends, he
just don't like nobody.

Ol' Boss had hired him off duty

to guard the
incriminating check.

And to nail them Duke
boys before Boss' meetin'

with the state
probation officer.

Give it to him,
will ya? Go ahead.

There's the check.

Listen, you put it in
there. It'll be safe up there.

Listen, sheriff, uh, you and I,
I tell you we can handle this.

- I got it all figured out...
- Coltrane!

Y'all go play with
your rubber duck.

Boss has got the
rubber duck. You got it.

You ain't supposed
to tell anybody.

I got my own idea
how to nab 'em.

You'll get your bounty
money ready, Hogg.

They're as good as in the pokey.

That's what I hired
you for, ain't it?

Come on, let's go to my
office. I gotta get cleaned up.

- Listen, you know something?
- What?

- That is cherry, too.
- Huh?

- Yes, it is.
- No, it's rhubarb, rhubarb!

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke was
headin' back to their hideout.

Completely unaware that Boss
had brung in reinforcements.

- Well, fellas?
- Well... heh heh.

We struck out... twice.

We didn't get the check back.
No luck with Cletus, either.

You got him going this time.

I can't let this go on anymore.

I've gotta tell him I'm
sorry for misleading him.

'You'll find him the farm with
a five-pound box of pralines.'

What about that check?
You gotta get it back.

Don't you worry. Luke
will think of something.

Well, y'all be careful. You
are my two favorite fellas.

You got it.

Them boys were headin'
right back to the file room.

Luke figured it'd be the
last thing that Ol' Boss

and Rosco would
ever expect them to do.

And he just might be right.

Watch yourself.

It was in that filing
cabinet over there.

Alright.

No, he ain't.

Howdy, boys.

Nice of y'all to drop in.

Sheriff Little.

What're you doing out of
Chickasaw County, sheriff?

Boss Hogg hired
me to nab you fellers.

And I figured, you
figured sneaking back here

would be the last thing
that Hogg'd expect.

But I ain't no Hogg.

Now!

Come back here, you weasel!

Say, boy, y'all better come on
back here, you minus a cousin.

Well, now things ain't going
so good for Bo and Luke.

Let's see how Daisy's doin'.

Hey, hey, Daisy! Daisy!

Mm-hmm, she
ain't doin' no better.

Daisy, Daisy! Ahh! Oh!

Cletus! Are you alright?

Oh! Yeah, I'm fine, but I think
maybe the pralines have had it.

Well, thank you, Cletus.

- Ahh! Oh!
- Where's it hurt?

Ohh, nowhere, so long
as I've got you in my arms.

Cletus, hold it right now!

Daisy, Cooter just called and
the boys has been arrested.

Yes, Uncle Jesse.

Cletus, I've got
something to say to you.

Yeah? I bet I know what it is.

'Come on, the
boys is in trouble.'

Cletus, oh, Cletus,
we've gotta talk.

- Okay.
- Daisy!

- Okay!
- What?

- Cletus.
- Yeah?

- We've gotta talk.
- Okay.

Talk? Wonder what
she wants to talk about.

Propose.

Ha ha ha ha. She
wants to propose!

We didn't do nothin' wrong.
You can't keep us in here.

Well, I don't intend to.

Tomorrow morning, we're
gonna take a little itty-bitty trip

over to Capitol City.

Itty-bitty.

Why would we do
a thing like that?

I thought you might get
a kick out of joining me

in a meeting I'm having with
the state probation supervisor.

Yeah, see, the boss has
gotta justify his fat salary to that

supervisor by turning you
two embezzlers in, personally.

- Rosco, zip!
- Ooh.

That's why you was
so hot to frame us.

You ain't gonna get
away with it neither, Boss.

Hmm, is that a fact?

Listen, you boys better
get a good night's sleep

on account of we're
leaving at a.m. sharp.

Don't you take your eyes
off 'em. They're sneaky.

Sleep tight, and don't
let the crawdads bite.

'If they gonna sleep now,
they must be awful tired.'

'It's o'clock in the
afternoon, lamebrain.'

First time, what the
heck is going on?

I don't know.

It's locked.

Hey, anybody in there?

Rosco, I see ya in
there. Open this up.

'This is a public buildin'.'

Will you quit
bangin' on this door?

The place is
closed. No visitors.

Rosco, that dog
don't hunt. Open it up.

I wanna see Bo and
Luke. We got a right.

- 'Now, open this door.'
- Will you all hush?

I'm telling you, Boss
said this place is closed.

Now, you all move
out, or I'll arrest you

for violating the peace.

I'll violate your
peace, you numb...

Ooh!

What we gonna do?

We can't let Boss
railroad our boys.

If they say they didn't
write that phony check

then they didn't.

Of course not.

Well, Let's go have a meetin'
and figure out what to do.

I can't believe Rosco.

How can they lock
a public building..

I don't know, Uncle Jesse.

That Rosco's sure got a way
of driving people up the wall.

Hmm! Don't he, though?

And the word's going
around that Boss Hogg plans

to turn the boys in
for violatin' probation

tomorrow morning, o'clock.

There's only one thing we
can do, break 'em out of jail.

Which won't be easy
with big Ed Little standing

right on top of
'em with a shotgun.

If he's guarding the door, only
way out's through the window.

'You reckon you can do something
about that window, Cooter?'

Oh, I reckon it
could be arranged..

If somebody can keep big
Ed busy for about seconds.

Hey, I got me an idea.

'What say, Cletus?'

Hey, Cletus.

Hi, Uncle Jesse. Hi, Cooter.

Hi, pumpkin. You wanna
have our little talk now?

Cletus, I can't until Bo
and Luke are out of trouble.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Do you believe Bo
didn't write that check?

Of course I do.

- You do?
- Yeah.

- Would you like to help us?
- Well, of course I would.

I mean, any cousin of yours
is practically a cousin of mine.

Even if it means going against
one of your own relatives?

- You mean cousin Boss?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, the way I figure it is,
I'm one-eighth Hogg blood

and the other seven-eights
of me says... you bet!

Cletus!

- Oh, thank you.
- It's alright.

- I appreciate it.
- Thanks. What can I do?

We can't just sit here like
two horses waiting to be taken

to the glue factory, Luke.

Just sit a spell.

He's likely to doze off soon.

Shut up, you two,
and hit the sack.

In case you all got any ideas..

Forget it.

I never sleep.

And so, about sunup

Daisy's plan to try and save
the boys swung into action.

Well, it's going for broke now.

Okay, you two, get a-moving.

In minutes,
we're on travelin'.

You know, Sheriff Little

we was kind of unaware
that you was for hire.

Now, maybe we can do
you one better than Boss.

With what? Another bum check?

Forget it. You two ain't
talking your way out of this one.

Well... looks like
we had it, cousin.

Oh, Cletus, you
got me so shook up

'I hardly know what
to do with myself.'

What's going? There ain't
no visitors allowed. Let's go.

We're looking for Boss Hogg.
He is the justice of the peace.

We just can't wait to get
married, can we, hotcakes?

- That's right, sugarplum.
- Ooh!

We can count on
good old Daisy, huh?

Something's cooking
besides Cletus, that's for sure.

Oh, now you two
ding-a-lings, cut it out.

This here is a jail, and
Hogg ain't here. Let's go.

'Come on, just wait a minute'

he's gotta be here
because he's gotta marry us.

Yoo-hoo, cousin Boss!

Hey, congratulations
on the wedding, you two.

Cletus, you have
our blessings, buddy.

Shut up, you two. You two,
you gonna make me mad.

Now, let's go.
Buzz off. Let's go.

Don't push me like that.

Stop! Stop, I say. I'll sh**t!

You know, I believe
he's gonna do it.

Stop!

- Thanks a lot, Uncle Jesse.
- Forget the boot, Bo, come on.

We owe you one, Cooter.

What was that horrendous noise?

Out of my way. Them Dukes
is getting away. Outta my..

Ooh!

Know what? If I was him

I'd find a different way of
delivering pies in Hazzard

maybe like skydivin'.

Get back here! Stop 'em!

Wait a minute! What's going on?

- The Duke boys.
- Where? Where?

- They escaped again.
- They escaped?

- Oh, not again!
- Yeah, well, it's his fault.

I-I told you. You-you said
he was such a hotshot.

'Coltrane!'

You know, anybody
can make a mistake.

Little, how could you let
two prisoners escape, huh?

Didn't I warn you
they was sneaky?

They had outside help.

'But I'll guarantee
you one thing.'

I'll bring 'em back
draped over my hood.

No, no, listen.

You bring 'em to my
o'clock meetin' in Capitol City

'with the state probation
supervisor. You got that?'

Alright, let me have
that check of theirs.

Rosco and I are gonna go
ahead to present my case.

Let me have that.
Here. You take this.

When I get through
with them Duke boys,

there won't be enough of
'em left to bring to Capitol City.

- Now what do we do?
- We gotta warn Bo and Luke.

Don't worry about it, Boss.

I'll put it in a safe place
where nobody will find it.

Alright, let's go.

Ooh, this is... the
best place in the world.

I'll put it right in
here. Good, good.

Alright, Flash, and
I'll let you watch it

- Rosco, come on, get in here!
- I was talkin' to Flash.

Quit jawing and start drivin'.

Well, Flash has been
sittin' in the car, you know.

And when she sits in the car..

We gotta raise 'em
on the CB. Come on.

Is there any sign of
Sheriff Little back there?

No. He'll be on our tail quick
with that souped-up car of his.

Lost sheep, come in.

This is Bo Peep, and I'm
looking real hard for you fellas.

- 'Can you read me?'
- We read you loud and clear.

We wanna thank you for what
you did back there. What's up?

Listen, cousins..

And Daisy told 'em
they had to shake Little

and catch Boss before
he got to Capitol City

with the incriminating check

or their probation
was gonna be busted.

Meanwhile, Daisy called
in Jesse and Cooter

to try to slow down Boss Hogg.

And Daisy and Cletus took
off to try to help Bo and Luke

get away from Sheriff Little.

Friends, the Hazzard
roads was a-smoking.

Don't waste any time on that..

Just straight ahead
to Capitol City.

Clear, wide open
spaces behind us.

No wonder. There he is.

Okay, plowboys, I got ya!

Hang on.

Yee-hoo!

Nice drivin',
cousin, nice drivin'.

You gonna have to thank
the General for that one.

Now on to Boss and Rosco.

Argh!

I wonder what time it is anyhow.

'Cause my meeting's
at o'clock sharp.

Alright, move along..

Rosco, don't look now..

But we're being followed
by Jesse Duke and Cooter.

Wonder what they're up to.

I said don't look! Keep
your eyes on the road.

Hurry up and catch up
with Boss and Rosco.

It's another ten miles
'fore we get to Capitol City.

- We got company.
- Sheriff Little?

'Looks like Daisy and Cletus.'

Well, no sign of Sheriff Little.

Looks like the
boys shook him off.

Now all they gotta do is catch
Boss and get their check back.

Yeah, piece of cake.
They'll be able to handle that.

'You know, uh, Daisy'

back in jail when we was
pretending to get married?

Yeah.

I kind of liked that, sugarplum.

- Cletus?
- Hmm?

'I was gonna wait
till this was over'

but I can't hold off any longer.

Cletus, I gotta
tell you the truth.

What do you mean, "the truth?"

Cletus, I've been
trying to tell you for days

but there's always been
somethin' happenin'.

Oh, Sheriff Little.

Oh, great. Bad news is back.

You can't do that! Pull over!

Out of my way, fools!

- He's f*ring at us!
- Cletus, I don't care.

I've got to tell you somethin',
and I can't wait any longer.

Sheriff Little means business.

Too bad Daisy and Cletus
are caught in the middle.

Gotta do somethin'.

Cletus, don't do anything
until I finish telling you

what I've got to tell ya.

'Now there's been a whole
mess of misunderstanding'

and I've gotta apologize.

Cletus, get out of the way!
You're gonna get yourself sh*t.

Oh, hush.

- Cletus.
- What?

It's been all my fault
for letting it go this far.

I'm so sorry but I don't
love ya, like, to marry ya.

Oh, Cletus, I love
you like a friend.

A realgood friend.

Maybe even a
cousin, but... that's all.

But sugarplum!

Oh! Uh!

Uh!

Well, you ought to know
that fish ain't gonna bite

nowhere around Hazzard
till things get settled down.

Good old Cletus.

Single-handedly took care
of the Chickasaw terror, huh?

Hey, that looks
like Boss up ahead.

- Pull over, Rosco.
- Who you telling to pull over?

I'm the sheriff around
here. You pull over!

Well, don't say
we didn't warn ya.

Oh-h!

Ooh-hh!

Yeah, I'm alright.
What's goin' on here?

What's the meaning of
all this? It's an outrage!

Rosco, you arrest them
two for obstructing justice.

Hogg justice.

Yeah, Boss, We wanna
see that check again.

- We wanna see it now.
- Hand it over, J.D.

Well, not on your life!

- That check's state's evidence.
- Yeah.

I mean, Rosco's got it stashed
away in a very safe place.

I got it hid where you probation
breakers will never find it.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Don't! Flash! Flash!

J.D., you can't keep evidence
from people that are involved.

Boss, Boss, Flash has
broken into my lunchbox.

She-she's eating my lunch.

Oh, who gives a co*n's tail
what that fleabag is eating?

But that's where I... I
hid the you-know-what.

- What you-know-what?
- You know what.

- You don't mean the check?
- Yes!

- Oh!
- Under the big old sandwich.

Don't eat daddy's sandwich.

- Keep chompin'.
- Flash!

No, don't do that
to daddy's lunch.

Keep on chompin', Flash.

Yeah, eat hearty, you
beautiful thing, you.

'Oh, ugh, ugh, listen, Flash'

I order your teeth to pull over.

And so, old Flash
saved the Dukes.

- Flash don't do that.. Oh-h!
- Oh-h!

With the check eaten, Boss
had no case against the boys

and had to drop the charges.

Lucky she's got an appetite.

I can't believe my ears..

Which earned him
a royal chewin' out

from the state
probation supervisor.

And even worse than that,
he got docked six months' pay.

And to top it all off

when the boys threatened
to sue for false arrest

he was forced to give
old Cletus his job back.

Well, would you look at that.

Oh, Cletus, you look real
fine back in your uniform.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, oh. Thank you
very much, Daisy..

But you had your chance.

Laverne's waitin' for me.

- Well, I'll be..
- Be what?

- I ain't sure.
- My kind of gal.

Looks like poor Daisy's
gonna have to tough it out.

But I figure somethin' will
happen to keep her busy.

'Cause things usually work
out like that in Hazzard County.