04x16 - Shine On, Hazzard Moon

[bunniefuu]

Yee-haw!

On the first day of trout season

all the Dukes
caught their limit.

Didn't you? I did.

That's a string of purty fish.

Uncle Jesse, you never told us

how you found that
fishing hole anyway.

Well, let's see. When I
was back runnin' shine..

There was this
revenuer behind me

about one turn of the wheel.

And he's coming up on me

and I just ducked
up this little side road.

Then go over a little rise

and right there it was,
laid out right in front of

the most beautiful fishing
hole you ever did want to see.

'I could never find that road.'

'I bet you'd be the greatest'

'ridge runner
still, Uncle Jesse.'

- No, Daisy.
- Yeah.

I gave my word to the U.S.
of A federal government.

They gave these boys
probation that I never have nothing

to do with runnin' no shine
or even making it no more.

What in the heck is that?

Cletus and his dumb speed traps.

Five miles an hour? I
couldn't even walk that slow.

This is one time we ain't gonna
let Cletus railroad us. Hang on.

Looks like Cletus caught
a fish too, Uncle Jesse.

Ah, you Dukes..

Come back here!

Freeze!

Looks like old Cletus
caught his Lenok too.

- Oh, gosh.
- Come on, let's get out.

He's alright, though.

If you can call
being Cletus alright.

Now, this here is Boss
Hogg's number one still.

It was the first thing ever
to make Boss some money..

And he ain't about to let it go.

Boss is fixing to make a sale
to his most important customer

'cause that's the Jasper Fenwick

the biggest shine
distributor around.

And right now, old
Jasper needs a shipment

of top grade shine real bad.

Hazzard folks call bad moonshine

"old factory whistle."

One blast, and you're
through for the day.

The deal's off, Hogg.

I ain't givin' you
no , bucks

for that slop you call shine.

Now, Jesse Duke..

He made a shine that
was nectar to the lip..

'Oh, smooth as
molasses going down.'

Smooth as molasses going down.

We should have looked
up Jesse in the first place.

It wouldn't do no
good on account of

Jesse's out of the shine
business permanently.

- Yeah, permanently.
- On the other hand..

I don't think I'll have
any trouble whatsoever

in getting that
recipe off of Jesse.

- Trouble...
- No, ta-ta-ta!

And if I do get Jesse's recipe..

We still got a deal, don't we?

Sure, Hogg. But I'm warning ya.

I got a deadline to meet..

Or else, my customers,
they go someplace else.

Oh, yeah.

'And I lose money.'

Losing money makes me angry.

I could see why..

That's when I let
Eli here take over

if you get my meaning.

Will you recover yourself?

Boss, listen.

There's no way you're
gonna get Jesse Duke

to give you his shine recipe.

I know that, you dodo.

What I'm plannin'
on is taking it.

- Taking it?
- Yeah, yeah.

You know, I remember
Jesse once saying

how he kept that shine recipe
of his in a real safe place.

And you know this safe place is?

No, I don't know where
it is. But I got a good idea

of how to make Jesse
show me where it is.

And you're gonna play an
important part in my plans.

Oh, great.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, will you?

- Did you see that smoke?
- What happened?

- Did you see it smoking?
- No!

- Who's that?
- Who could that be?

- Alright, over here.
- That's it, alright.

Well, it's Rosco.
He's got J.D. with him.

Come on in, J.D.

Well, good day, Jesse.

Daisy, Bo, Luke..

Nice of you to
brighten our day, Boss.

- What do you need?
- I got chores to do.

My boys ain't done nothin'.
They've been with me all day.

Oh my, oh my..

How distrustful you
Dukes all are of me.

I just can't understand it.

I mean, the fact is

I'm here to tell you that
my banker's made an error

in your mortgage payments
to the tune of $ . .

You tell that banker of
yours to back over the figures

because according to my
figures, we're both even.

Well, of course, you
are. It ain't your error.

It's the bank's error.
It owes you $ . .

Seeing that it's my bank

I've brung it over personally

on account of, I believe
in good customer relations.

So, here you go. That's
$ , Jesse, and cents.

I don't know what to say, J.D.

Well, there ain't
nothing to say, Jesse.

I mean, just be sure you
put it in a real safe place.

Real, real safe.

You have got a real
safe place, haven't ya?

Oh, sure, sure. I got
a safe place, alright.

- Oh, I hoped you had.
- I do too.

I mean, I thought you had.

Well, come on, let's go, Rosco.

A very good day to all of you.

Yeah, very, very good day.

It's gettin' better already.

What do you think of that?

..two dollars and
ten cents. He he.

'I don't know what to
think about those old coots'

'but we can use the money.'

Some more cornbread?

It worked, Rosco, it worked.

- Like a charm.
- Yeah.

When Jesse Duke put
that money in his cookie box

it was as good as tellin' me
where to find the shine recipe.

Give it away, give it away.

Now, all you gotta do is
walk right into that kitchen

and get it for me.

- Who?
- You, that's who.

- Me?
- Yeah.

I can't sneak in there

with all them Dukes in there.

Rosco, Did I say sneak?

Are you listening?

I said you're
gonna walk in there.

- Walk?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, because when you
do walk in to that kitchen

there ain't gonna be no
Dukes around to see you.

So, next morning
Daisy took off to serve

breakfast at the Boar's Nest

where they serve
tough greasy cookies.

Don't miss that if you can.

Oh, oh.

There she go, there she go.

That's one down,
and three Dukes to go.

And another one
just about to go now.

Hello. This is Jesse.

Alright. Yeah, I'll
be right there. Yeah.

Goodbye.

- What's the matter?
- Where you headed?

Oh, bureaucracy's
come to Hazzard.

I gotta go in and
sign some paper

for that money that J.D.
Hogg brought over here.

Why can't they
get things straight..

Come on, let's get
it. Come on, come on.

Two Dukes down, two to go.

Get in the car.

I knew you could do it.

Alright, you two.

You're under arrest,
just hold it right there.

Now just freeze it right there.

Rosco, what are
you arresting us for?

For breaking the
law, that's what.

Rosco, you gotta be
more specific than that.

- What law?
- More specific, huh?

The law definitely states
that I can arrest you

under suspicion
of being a suspect

of anything I've
got on the books

that needs a suspect for.

And I suspect both of
you of being that suspect.

How's that for specifics?

Well, specifically, I think
that's a load of hogwash.

You know as well as we do
you gotta have some kinda

tangible evidence to take us in.

First, you want specifics,
and then you want tangibles.

I can't give you both
of that in one day.

Alright, put your arms up.

'cause I'm gonna
cuff you and scuff you.

Rosco!

I sure wish I knew why we
always run away from Rosco.

So do I.

Well, that's.. Nice dog..

Cletus.

Uh, this is your
supreme superior officer

Rosco P. Coltrane speaking.

Uh, listen, Cletus, the
Duke boys are out your way.

You get on their tail,
and make it look good.

Or I'll let the air out of you.

Oh, I got you..

You gotta admit that old Boss'

shuck and jive to get
Jesse's shine recipe

was working good and snug.

Ohh. Ehh.

Nice.

Here. What is this?

"Half a gallon of raw alcohol.

"Two tins of bay leaves,
three cups of water. Two cups.."

Oh, that must be it.

That ain't Rosco,
that's Cletus back there.

Well then, where
the heck is Rosco?

I don't know. They
must've switched somehow.

Question is, why?

I got it.

Oh, Flash. I got it, I got it.

'Twiddle-Dee, this
is Twiddle-Dum.'

'You got your plump
little ears on. Come on.'

This is Twiddle-Dee,
Twiddle-Dum. Where you at?

I'm at point A. Uh, and
I got the rhubarb recipe.

Oh my, oh my, congratulations.

Now, listen, you bring that
recipe right over to my kitchen

and we'll start cooking.

That's a big - . We're coming.

I don't know what
them two are up to

but I bet it ain't
no coincidence

that none of us Dukes are
back at the farm right now.

- Let's get back there fast.
- You got it.

Now, wouldn't you just know it?

Here comes two floats from
the Hazzard May Day parade.

To hit that turkey.

'Cletus.'

'This is your superior officer,
Rosco P. Coltrane calling.'

'You got your flippers on?'

You bet! I also got them
Duke boys right by the tail.

Cletus, a negatory,
just let that tail go.

In other words,
cease and desist.

What, cease and desist?
What do you mean?

You dipstick, it
means, knock it off!

I mean, let those
boys go. Over and out.

Well, okay.

'Listen, you Duke
boys, if you're listening'

'I'm terribly sorry about
the mistake I made.'

Must have been two
other fellows I'm looking for.

That ain't like Rosco..

Unlike him to let us off
the hook when he's wrong.

That's for sure.

The only explanation is that

him and Boss got
something more pressin'.

What could be more
pressin' than us?

Meanwhile, Boss was
celebrating Rosco's news

with a chitlin and turnip pizza.

No market brands,
lots of protein.

I just wanted to let you know..

'...that I practically got
Jesse Duke's shine recipe'

'in my hip pocket.'

Yeah, well, I'm warning
you again, Hogg.

If you're stalling me

my man's gonna come
down on you so hard

you're gonna look like a pizza.

Hmm. Ohh..

So, when I got down
there to the bank

there wasn't nobody knew
nothin' about any papers

I was supposed to sign for that
money J.D. brought out here.

Looks like we've been on two
wild pheasant hunts in one day.

Yours and ours.

One thing's for sure.

When Daisy went to
work, Boss wanted to get

the rest of us off the farm too.

We'll just have to
wait for his next move.

In the meantime, we
all got chores to do.

Maudeen's been favoring
that left front foot of hers.

I better give it a good rubdown.

You boys finish that
gig down by the creek?

- Well, get at it.
- Yes, sir.

Well, that ain't
enough to do a hoof.

I better make some more.

Uh, that's where that is.

And that's why it's where it is.

Could have sworn I
had the recipe in here.

- It's horse liniment, you dodo!
- Are you sure?

You brung me Jesse's
recipe for horse liniment!

Boss, I didn't know
it was horse liniment.

After all, this was the only
thing in his secret little tin

that had writing on it.

- I just naturally thought...
- Oh, that's your trouble.

You never do think naturally.

Alright, alright, alright,
alright, alright. Now..

- This means just one thing.
- What?

Jesse never put his
recipe on the paper.

Uh-uh-uh.

Well, where is it?

- It's in his head.
- Oh.

How will we get it outta there?
He ain't just gonna tell us.

No, no, no..

But, he might, he might

if we made a deal with him.

What kinda deal?

Well, that recipe in exchange

for dropping all
charges against his boys.

Ohh, drop all the
charges against his..

We don't have any
charges against his boys.

In fact, you see..

Boss, listen.

It's a good idea, but
I don't think it'll work.

I, I've used all the charges
I could possibly think of

with the Duke boys short of
them stealing the orphans' fund...

- Oh, congratulations.
- Thank you.

No, thank you. That's
it, that's the charges.

Yeah, the Duke boys are
gonna rob the orphanage fund.

Oh, naughty, naughty.

And I know just the fella who's
gonna help us turn that trick.

Who's that?

- Rayford Flicker.
- Rayford Flicker?

Yeah.

I'm gonna look up his number
here in the yellow pages.

Under "C."

- Flicker under "C?"
- Yeah.

For con man.

After chore time

comes brew time
at the Boar's Nest

which old Bo and Luke usually
try to make along about now.

Naturally, old Boss told
this to Rayford Flicker.

Well, who did
you think that was?

Daisy, you got somethin'
for us, sweetheart?

You bet I do.

Ladies and gentlemen, your
undivided attention, please.

My name is Rayford Flicker

of United Amalgamated
Dixie Charities Incorporated.

And I'm here on
a mission of mercy

for the poor orphans
of Hazzard County

who need all our financial
help to provide them

with a decent playground.

Just look at these
here poor little faces.

Look at these sad little eyes

just beggin' for the money
that will provide them

with a new sandbox, a new
see-saw, a new pogo stick.

Who will be the first
to make a donation

for these poor forlorn children?

I will!

Well, it's nice to
meet you, Mr. Flicker.

You know, I've heard all
about that good charity work

you've done in these here parts.

And may I say

I'm more than proud to be
able to make a contribution

to such a worthy cause,
as poor and needy orphans.

Now, I'm gonna start
you off with $ .

Thank you, sir. That will buy
a lot of sand for that sandbox.

Well, I sure hope so.

How about the
rest of you skin flints

Huh? Come on, take down.

- Give, give, give.
- Yeah, give, give, give.

How about you Duke boys
coughing up a few bucks?

We'd love to, Boss, but..

We're all tapped
out at the moment.

Do tell.

- Oh!
- 'Oh, look at that.'

'That was a horrendous
crash. I'm sorry.'

Now that's slick..

Just like New York.

Old saying, no harm done, folks.

Oh, look, let's calm
down, everybody.

Yeah, and let's help
this worthy gentleman

take up his collection for
the poor and needy orphans.

Thank you, kind sir.

- Alright. Come over here now.
- The money is gone!

What? gone?

Ooh, the money's gone.

No, that's impossible.

This box was right here
right in front of the Duke boys.

You Duke boys oughta
be ashamed of yourselves

takin' playground
money from poor orphans.

Rosco, arrest them!

We didn't even touch that box.

Anybody that says
we did is a dang liar.

Yeah? Well, this box was
right here in front of you.

So, how do you explain
the money missing?

Search me.

Which ain't a bad idea.

Go right ahead, we
ain't got nothing to hide.

- No, no, no, not you.
- Not me?

Let's give the
boys a fair shake.

Let Mr. Flicker
do the searching.

Go ahead, my dear sir.

- If you insist.
- I do.

Excuse me, boys.

Shame, shame on you boys.

Just hold on a second, mister.

'You keep your hands
where I can see 'em.'

Luke, we been set up.

- Well, I've seen enough.
- Yeah, me too.

Yeah, and you folks
here, you're all witnesses

to this dastardly crime
perpetrated by the Duke boys.

Taking the money from
poor and needy orphans.

'Rosco, now!'

- You better hurry, Cletus.
- Yeah, Rosco needs you.

Will you get out of my way, you
dipstick? That's the Duke boys.

And-and they stole
the orphanage money.

Come on, quick!

Well, I guess I'll be on my way.

Alright, yeah.

Okay, Rayford, that's yours.

And listen, you
just stay out of sight

till you hear different from me.

Try losin' em up
Sandridge Road, alright?

Okay.

Cletus, this is the
Sheriff speaking.

Now you stay with
them on Sandridge Road

and I'll get down to Cedar
Creek Lane and cut them off.

'Roger, wilco, sheriff!'

We got Cletus.

Where the heck is Rosco?

Rosco was fixing to
slam the backdoor.

Hang on, cousin, we is
about to jump Hollow Creek.

Which is exactly what
Rosco has in mind too.

To head off the boys.

Friends, that's America.
Kinda purty, ain't it?

Now, if you're wondering
why the Duke boys stopped

Well, they simply wanted to
watch what was happening.

Wouldn't you?

Hi, sheriff.

Look out!

Look out

Hazzard is the only
place that I know

that ain't got no airport,
but still needs a runway.

Alright, freeze!

Alright. Freeze.

- I already froze them for you.
- Will you hush?

I'm your superior
officer. I'm the freezer.

Just freeze!

Rosco, you're
forgetting two things.

- What?
- Number one, your keys.

And number two, we got
the right to make a phone call.

Yeah? Well, there's
no need for that.

On account of which,
Uncle Jesse you want

I already called him.

In fact, he should
be here any second.

'There they are now, Boss.'

Alright, J.D. Let my
boys out of there.

Daisy told me about the trumped
up charges you got on them.

And you haven't
got a leg to stand on.

Take it easy, Jesse. I got
all the legs I need to stand on.

On account of half the town of
Hazzard was in the Boar's Nest

and seen that fine
gentleman Rayford Flicker

find his orphanage
money in your boys' shirts.

Rayford Flicker?
From Colonial City?

Rayford Flicker, he moved
over to Plainsview, remember?

He is now, and always has
been kind of a half baked con man

with a few tacky
tricks up his sleeve.

Well, nobody's perfect.

My, oh my, oh my.

Is he that? I had no idea.

Well, if he was..

I'm sure he's seen
the error of his ways

and is now atoning for his
sins by doing charitable works.

Alright, J.D., come
off of that baloney.

Uncle Jesse, you're gonna
get your blood pressure

all riled up now.

J.D., I wanna talk to you.

Come here.

Now I know you're
up to something.

What is it you want to let
those two boys off of the hook?

Just come on out with it
and let's get it over with it.

Funny you should
ask that, Jesse.

Here it comes.

What I want is

in exchange for gettin'
your boys off the hook

what I want is something
you don't need no more.

Oh, alright, what's that?

It's your personal
recipe for making shine.

What?

Well, didn't you hear
me? Your shine recipe.

J.D., you know I made my
promise to the United States Federal

U.S. of A government

that I wouldn't make
no shine for nobody

no place, at no time.

What's one little
itty-bitty broken promise

compared to your boys
rottin' in jail for a long time.

J.D., I never broke my promise
to anybody in my whole life.

Well, of course, you didn't.
And that's admirable of you.

You've always been a
good example to all of us.

You can't ask me to
go back on my word.

I wouldn't ask you to
go back on your word

even if you was to give it.

Well, Boss never gives his word.

Why would he give
something he can't keep?

Eh! Rosco!

Alright, alright, let's
quit horsin' around

because I'm tired of waiting.

Now, what's gonna come first?

Your word of honor, or
the welfare of your boys?

Don't do it, Uncle Jesse.

There's gotta be some other way.

You can't go back on your
oath. You've always said that.

I know, but, uh,
he's got witnesses.

You're one of them, Daisy.

But it was a trick.

Well, I know that,
and you know that.

We all know it, but
we can't prove it.

Alright, J.D., you got a deal.

Alright! Now you're
talking, Jesse.

I'm gonna take
your word on that.

But I'm only gonna fill the
contract, not one drop more.

Yeah, alright, alright.

- Let my boys out.
- Oh, oh, oh.

No, Jesse, not
till I get that shine.

A deal's a deal.

Alright. Deal?

Deal.

- Done!
- Done!

I'm sorry, kids.

But a deal is a deal.

A man's gotta do
what he's gotta do.

Come on, J.D.,
let's get with it.

Yeah. Alright. Come on, Rosco.

Oh, you'll never win
that. Come on, will you?

Don't cheat now.

Poor Uncle Jesse,
it's just killin' him.

What we gotta do
is get out of here

catch that Flicker fella,
and make him fess up

before Jesse
makes all that shine.

Daisy, could you get
over there to Cletus

and decoy him close enough
to us so we get them keys?

After y'all threw
him in Hazzard pond

I don't think he's
gonna trust any of us.

Wait a minute. I know
somebody he'll trust.

Alright, there you are, Jesse.

All the ingredients you need
to mix up a big batch of shine.

And if there's anything special
you need, I don't know about

Rosco here would be more
than happy to get it for you.

- 'Yeah, I'll get it.'
- I don't use nothin' special.

Just my brains, a lot
of tender lovin' care..

And a bunch of respect.
Just get out of my way.

Alright, alright, get started.

I got a deadline to meet.

And the sooner you get done

the sooner your boys
will be out of the poop.

I'll get at this, J.D.

when you two take
your noses elsewhere.

My amounts is secret.

So, just go on, take your
business someplace else

and get off my back.

You know somethin', Boss?

I just can't help being a
little sorry for old Jesse.

You know, you made him
violate his sacred oath, you know?

You know, and
he's a man of honor.

Ain't you ashamed?

- Me? Ashamed?
- Yeah. You.

Well, if anybody oughta
be ashamed around here

it's Jesse Duke.

Well, like you said, he violated
his sacred oath, didn't he?

Holy Toledo.

Meanwhile, the boys
were just waitin' on Cooter..

Bidin' their time, you know.

Which is about all
you can do in jail.

Never fear, Cooter's here.

Got room service
for Boss Hogg's hotel.

That's bird food for
you jailbirds here.

- What you got?
- Here, just doughnuts, Cletus.

Yeah? What ya got? No files?

No files, just praline icing.

Uh, look a little unsavory.

No, go ahead, go for it, Cooter.

Not bad. How's things
in the slammer, y'all?

About as well as could
be expected, I reckon.

What you reading there, Cletus?

How to swim?

Oh, oh, my tooth.

- Cooter!
- 'I think I'm gonna faint.'

Cooter.

- What's wrong with him?
- I don't know.

It sure don't look like
he can stand much pain.

Don't worry about it, Cletus.

He'll probably
come to after a while.

- He can't stay here.
- I got an idea.

You supposed to get his feet
up, let the blood back to his head.

Bring him in here, we'll
put his feet up on the bench.

Hey, watch your head.

- Alright, now swing it, please.
- Grab his feet there.

- Get his feet.
- Okay.

Come on, Bo, grab a hand here..

Feet up on the bench.

- Get his feet up there.
- Alright.

He'll be awake in no time.

- Thanks, guys.
- See you later.

Uh-huh. It worked again.

Looks like Cooter
did alright, huh?

Yeah. Listen, stay
close on the CB.

We gotta get us over
to Plainview County, cuz.

We gotta find that
Rayford Flicker.

Let me handle this. There's
only one way out of here.

Stand further a little bit.

- Wait, wait.
- What?

Sure, if you want
to do it that way.

Take it easy.

See you later.

When Boss and Rosco found
out about Bo and Luke breaking jail

old Boss knew just exactly
what they're about to do.

Find Rayford
Flicker in Plainview

and get the truth out of him.

'Rayford Flicker,
are you out there?'

'This is J.D. Hogg
calling Rayford Flicker.'

'Come in, Rayford.'

Boss warned Rayford
that the Duke boys

were heading his way.

And he told him to
get lost and stay lost

till Jesse got through
making that shine

for Boss' deal with
Jasper Fenwick.

You got it, Boss.

The boys remembered
Rosco letting it slip

that old Rayford had
a place in Plainview.

And there ain't
too many of them.

Rayford Flicker.

Rayford, this here is Luke
Duke. Do you read me?

Yeah, I read you.
What do you want?

We know that Boss put you up
to framin' us with that phony box.

That's your story.

'We're gonna give you
a chance to get off easy.'

You write us up a signed
confession as to the truth

so we can get Uncle
Jesse off the hook.

We'll let you be on
your way, alright?

Nothin' doin'.

Alright. Listen, Rayford.
Have it your way.

By the time we get
through with you

you're gonna be
beggin' to confess to us.

Now, friends, you know
that there just ain't no way

the Duke boys is
gonna hit Rayford

hard enough to
knock him off the road.

But he don't know that.

- 'Alright. Alright' -
'Pull over, Rayford.'

I've had enough. Let
me pull over, please.

Pull over then to
the side, Rayford.

- Right there.
- Alright.

Here. Here you go.

Now, write everything
down just like it happened.

Well, it looks
like it's too late

for Jesse's conscience though.

He's already broke
his word times..

With jugs..

Which sure was doin' Boss'
appetite a world of good.

Hmm.

Up, Rosco. Come on.

How you doin', Jesse?
You almost through?

J.D..

Why don't you go
back to your eatin'?

I feel bad enough about goin'
back on my word of honor.

Let alone looking at the
likes of you while I'm doin' it.

- Now, just git!
- Yeah?

Well, I thought it
was just about time

that I oughta find
out what I'm gettin'

whether you lost
your touch or not.

So I'm just gonna take a
nip from one of them jugs.

Just a minute.
Don't you trust me?

- Now, Jesse..
- Don't "Now, Jesse" me.

Oh, take it easy, Jesse.
I'm just gonna take a nip.

You see that, J.D.?

You take one step
towards them bottles

and I'm gonna smash 'em all.

Don't do that, Jesse.
Don't do that. My goodness.

- Alright, I trust you.
- I trust you too.

Then, get on back to your
trough and let me do my work.

I've had enough
of the both of you.

Ohh..

- Hmm. Hmm.
- Touchy, touchy, touchy.

- Yeah, and then some.
- Well..

You can just add, a very mean
and dangerous bad temper

to what we have learned about
Jesse Duke's character today.

You bet.

And the Duke boys are
innocent of all charges.

So, help me God.

Now, sign it.

The next time you take a job

make sure the guy that hires you

doesn't wear white
and smoke cigars.

Gotta get this confession
over to Boss' still site fast.

Bo, look out for that landslide!

You know, Bo and
Luke went to the fair once

and rode one of them
big time roller coasters.

They fell asleep.

Looks like it's too late
for Rayford's confession

to do Jesse much good.

And that's a jugs on that
truck that he made for Boss.

And Jesse don't even
know that the boys are free.

Jesse Duke Shine.
Just like I promised.

Now, where's my money?

Nah! Not until I sample
what I'm payin' for, Hogg.

If you don't mind.

Jasper, I already tasted
it. What more do you want?

You never had much
taste in anything, Hogg.

Here you go.

Just like I always said,
Jesse. You make the best.

Ohh. Thank goodness.

- Gimme that.
- He makes the best.

I just love it. I love it.

- Hogg, here's your money.
- Alright.

Eli, let's move this
stuff out of here.

- Ooh! Look at all that money.
- Dah! Da-da-da.

I just wanted to touch my share.

Just touching it is your share.

Alright, J.D., you
got your money.

So now, call Cletus and tell
him to let the boys out of jail.

Umm-um. I can't do
that just yet, Jesse.

Not until you do me one
extra itty-bitty little favor

I almost forgot.

What?

I want you to take your

pickup truck and move my still

over to a new site I found
in Chickasaw County.

J.D., I ain't about to load

no still in my truck
and go into any county.

I've already broke my sacred
word once. Ain't that enough?

- Rosco, you know somethin'?
- What?

Them charges against
Jesse's boys are so powerful

I just may not be able
to get them off after all.

Alright, J.D., you don't have to
play 'em childish games with me.

- I'll do it.
- Well, alright.

Jesse, I promise you
that's the last thing

I'm gonna ask you to do.

Cross my heart and hope to die.

What heart?

- Where do you want the still?
- Well, go load it up.

I'll tell you where just as soon
as you get everything onboard.

Boss, you know him
hauling that still on his truck

that's not an itty-bitty favor.

- Uh!
- But it won't hurt, I guess.

I know a shortcut
to Cottonwood Gully.

Now if we take this road
here, it oughta cut off five miles.

Alright.

CB? Right in here..

Oh!

Say, you better cover up
everything real good, Jesse.

I mean, it wouldn't do no good

for the law to see you
carrying those stills now.

What Rosco's doin' is
shutting of Jesse's CB.

'J.D., don't worry
about that. Where to?'

Well, I'll meet you at Lakeland
Crossroads in Chickasaw.

'And I'll give you further
directions from there.'

Now, that's Sheriff Little
from Chickasaw County.

One mean lawman.

The only thing he hates more
than people who make moonshine

is people who try to
run it through his county.

'Hello, this is J.D.
Hogg in Hazzard'

'calling Sheriff
Little in Chickasaw.'

What would you say if I
told you that Jesse Duke

was back in the shine business?

Now, you know why Rosco
turned off Uncle Jesse's CB.

A typical double-cross by Boss

informing on Jesse
for carrying a still.

And with the boys on
a different CB channel

not bein' able to
know a thing about it.

But the boys didn't have
the only ears in Hazzard.

Ol' Cooter heard it all.

And, Sheriff Little, listen. If
you wanna nail Jesse Duke

'you'll be able to find him at
Lakeland Corners pretty soon.'

'That's right. If
you hurry, that is.'

Over and out.

That oughta do it.

It ought to. Boss,
you know what?

What?

That's the lowest
trick you've ever pulled.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, you know, practice
makes perfect. Come on.

So Sheriff Little took off

to intercept Uncle
Jesse and that still.

Breaker one, I might
be crazy, but I ain't dumb.

Cra-a-azy Cooter comin'
at you. Any y'all Duke boys

hear me on the
Hazzard net? Come on.

Got you, Cooter. Come back.

Cooter told the boys their

Uncle Jesse had Boss' still

on his truck and
was heading right into

Sheriff Little's trap
at Lakeland crossing.

Uncle Jesse over
there at the Lakeland.

Thanks a lot for the info.

Shepherd, this here is the Lost
Sheep. Come back, Uncle Jesse.

Not knowing that his CB
was off, there was no way

Uncle Jesse could be
warned that he was heading

right into the arms
of Sheriff Little

who was comin' up on him fast.

It ain't like Uncle Jesse
not to have his ears on.

Well... let's head on over
to Lakeland Crossroads.

Make it quick.

J.D., you
no-account, dirty little..

The rest of what
Old Uncle Jesse said

ain't for tender ears.

But I promise you,
friends, he had the picture.

One thing for sure, Jesse
knew that he didn't have time

to stop and get
rid of that still

with Old Sheriff Little
that close behind.

Well, we found Uncle Jesse.

Well, so did Sheriff Little.

Uncle Jesse, this here's
Luke. You read me now?

Uncle Jesse, you read me now?

He must still be tuned out.
Give him a blast on the horn.

Let him know we're here.

This is Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

Shepherd to Lost Sheep. I
thought you boys was in jail.

Oh.

Guess who did that.

This is Shepherd. This is
Shepherd. Can you hear me now?

Loud and clear, Uncle Jesse.

Luke explained
about the confession

they got from Rayford Flicker

and how they were
framed by old Boss.

There was no need for Ol'
Jesse to make that shine ever.

That's why I never
did run no shine.

What I ran was, uh, two jugs of

well, pretty
top-grade mouthwash.

Friends, I never doubted
that for one minute.

That'll leave a bad
taste in Boss' mouth.

He he. Sure should.

But now, listen, boys.

If I get caught with
this still on my truck

it's just as bad as if
I run the real thing.

Why don't we dump
it in the mud swamp?

That's a pretty good idea.

If we get her in there,
it'd sink clear to China.

Uncle Jesse, we got an idea.

'Hold her steady.
I'm comin' aboard.'

Bring me up alongside.

- Alright, hold her steady, Bo.
- I got it.

Hold her steady, Uncle
Jesse. I'm joining ya.

Move over now.
Yeah, I got it. I got it.

What's next?

Seems to me I was taught once

that a body in motion
tends to stay in motion.

Ohh, now I got you.

Good idea! Go to it, go to it.

Sheriff Little was so mad
about not catching Ol' Jesse

that he plumb forgot
about Bo and Luke

crossin' that county line.

Yep.

Would you look at that.

Boss had to give Jasper
Fenwick his money back.

And Jasper and Eli
gave Boss something too.

Rosco, of course,
he got his usual cut.

There. He's got..

Uncle Jesse, it'd be
a shame to waste this.

And so, Uncle Jesse's word
of honor to the government

was still intact.

He never did make any
shine. And he never will.

Uh, that is, except
for medical purposes.

Bottoms up, Uncle Jesse.