05x01 - The New Dukes

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

Now, I want y'all to take
a real good, long, look.

'Cause Hazzard County
history is being made.

Bo and Luke are leavin'
Hazzard to fulfill a lifelong dream

of racin' on the NASCAR circuit.

And the whole family is
takin' 'em to the airport.

Old Bo just couldn't resist
throwing in one last jump.

Just for old times' sake.

Bye, boys.

Buzzard on a buzz saw. I
guess they're really gonna do it.

Boss, this is Deputy Cletus,
come back. Got your ears on?

'Cletus, this is J.D. Hogg.'

I'm at home, sittin' right
in my very own dinin' room

getting ready to
hold a big celebration.

Champagne and all.

'What's the good word,
on Bo and Luke Duke?'

Bo and Luke wasn't funnin' when
they said they was gonna leave.

Oh-oh, are you positive?
Are you absolutely positive?

I'll bet that raise Boss has
been promising me for two years.

Cletus, how much was that
raise that I've been promising you?

Uh, five percent.

- Make it ten.
- Ten?

- Yeah, starting as of now.
- You got another vapor lock.

Over and out.

Ha ha, you got it.

Boss, are you sure
you're feeling alright?

Yeah, I never felt
better in my life.

- But you...
- Here, here.

You can finish
all this here food.

Oh, I appreciate it.

Bubbly, you get
it? Bubbly, bubbly.

'Come on, come on, get
that champagne a-popping.'

'That's what bubbly
means, dodo.'

While I attend to business.

One minute, uh-uh,
Santa Claus to helpers.

'Come in. Come in, helpers.'

'Christmas time is coming
soon. Don't lay down on the job.'

'Come in! Come in!
Come in, will you?'

This is helper one, Santa
Claus. What's goin' down?

Well, I'll tell you
what's goin' down.

Like I told you they might...
them Duke boys has skedaddled.

Uh, just how long will it be
before we're ready to try out

my new secret w*apon?

We'll be ready to
hit the test target

by o'clock this afternoon.

Oh, no, no, no. Make that two.

'The sooner I get back
my investment, the better.'

I want everything
to be pure profit

from the moment we launch
our master plan on Friday.

- You got that?
- Will do. Over and out.

Listen, Boss, let me
ask you something.

When do I get in
on the master plan?

- When the time comes.
- 'Oh, dear.'

Right now all you gotta
know is, that starting Friday

I am gonna be the
richest man in this state.

In this state?

Rosco, from now on

nothing is gonna
rain on my parade.

Just grab a hold of that.

You know, now would be a good
time to unweld them dang doors.

Kinda empty, ain't it?

Bo and Luke oughta be
landin' in Atlanta by now, huh?

Well..

- Uncle Jesse?
- Yeah.

I'm real, real happy that those
boys made the NASCAR circuit.

Just that things aren't gonna be
the same around here anymore.

That's for sure. We knew it was
gonna happen sooner or later.

Yeah.

It ain't like they just up and
left us high and dry here.

They didn't take that job
now until they were sure

Coy and Vance would be
along here to give us a hand.

Still, nobody could
be like Bo and Luke.

- I mean..
- Of course not.

But listen, Coy and Vance..

Now they just can't
be ordinary people.

Coy got to be a test
driver up there in Detroit.

You gotta be
somebody to do that.

Vance was moving right
up in the Merchant Marines

before they decided
to throw in together.

Now listen..

Them twos got Duke
blood in their veins.

And havin' that... they're
gonna be somethin' special.

You wait and see.

Uncle Jesse, you
know, after six years

I don't think I'm gonna
recognize my own cousins.

Oh, I think you'll
recognize 'em.

'Yee-haw.'

Now, do you recognize 'em?

Daisy. Uncle Jesse.

Hey, Vance. Ha
ha ha, how are you?

Oh, this sure beats
any port I've ever seen

in the Merchant Marine.

- Come here you.
- Vance.

We were beginning to
wonder if you'd ever get here.

If I knew we'd get
a welcome like this

we'd have come back years
ago. Aint that right, Coy?

sh**t, we never would've left.

'Hey, Coy.'

Hey, Uncle Jesse.
How're you doing?

Hey!

Daisy, you ain't changed
one bit in six years.

What do you mean I ain't?

Maybe your clothes
shrunk a little.

Coy, I still don't
know how to take you.

Uncle Jesse, you still look like
you could take us over your knee

and pound some sense into us.

That'd depend on how much
sense you needed pounded into ya.

'It's good to have
you both home.'

It's good to be here.

Matter of fact, on
our way over here

we ran into same ol' Cooter,
wearin' his same old hat.

He's been wearin'
that hat for years.

How about Boss and Rosco?
They still up to their old tricks?

Oh, worse than ever. Now
that Bo and Luke are gone

they're gonna blame
everythin' on y'all.

It wouldn't be
Hazzard without it.

We can still give them
a run for their money.

I know you're itchin' to give
them two a run for their money

we got a farm to take care of.

Remember where Reed's implement
house is over in Capitol City?

Yes, sir.

Why don't you just run by there

and pick up some
tractor parts I got ordered?

- Wanna go along for the ride?
- Sure.

I'll see you later.

- Sure.
- Okay.

- Wanna ride up front with me?
- Sure.

Who says you're
riding up front, cuz?

- After you.
- Thank you.

- See you later, Uncle Jesse.
- Sure enough.

If you're not back,
I'll start supper.

- Yes, sir.
- Alright.

Well, well, well.

Looks like us Dukes
is back together again.

Now the Duke farm wasn't the
only place undergoin' a change.

Old Boss Hogg
had a little surprise

for old Rosco and Cletus.

Alright, you can come in now.

- 'Enos?'
- How are you?

Enos Strate.

Oh, you rascal.

- What are you doing here?
- Hey, sheriff.

Just waiting for you to swear
me in as your new deputy.

No-no, I'm the new deputy
here. You're the old deputy.

Right, Cletus, but I'm
the new old deputy.

- What does that mean?
- Right?

Well, I'll tell you
what it means.

It's all here in this
letter from the governor..

In which he commends
Enos for his work

with the California
Police Department.

And in which he
gives me a big choice.

What choice?

Either I can put him
back on my payroll

or else the governor's
gonna appoint him

to the state police and station
him right here in Hazzard.

And since I sure
ain't about to have

a state trooper
breathin' down my neck..

Oh, no, no. Especially
with your big plans...

Well, cut out
them "especiallys!"

Therefore, I want you
to swear him back in.

Well, I'd be proud to.

Welcome home.

Thank you, sheriff. I'm so
glad to be back in Hazzard.

That goes for me too.

- I missed him.
- I missed him too.

- You missed you..
- I really missed you.

Y'all gonna hold hands all day?

Or you wanna get
down to nitty-gritty?

Enos, will you let go of
the hand? Let go the hand!

And just line up over here
with your other dipstick deputy.

Yes, sir.

- Dipstick.
- Yeah.

I never thought I'd be
happy to hear that word again.

Well, maybe this will
change your mind.

We ain't got enough money in
the budget for another patrol car.

So, Cletus is gonna
have to share his with you.

That's not all bad.

I'll have someone to talk to
now besides the rearview mirror.

We ain't got enough money
for another salary neither.

So you're gonna have to split
your paycheck with him too.

Don't seem right for me to take
half of Cletus' money, Mr. Hogg.

- Ain't there no other way?
- Ah, well, yes, there is.

I'll give you the whole paycheck

and you can give
him half of yours.

Yeah.

- Why didn't I think of that?
- Well, I did.

It'll cost you ten percent
of everything you make

from now till next November.

Now that he was deputized
again, Enos picked up

right where he left
off two years ago

washing Rosco's car. Sure
was good to be back home.

Up ahead, isn't that..

It's Enos!

- Enos?
- Oh, my goodness!

Enos!

Oh, my goodness!

Enos, honey.

- Come here. Come here.
- Hi, Daisy.

It's so good to see you.

Oh, Enos.

You sly devil. Why didn't you
tell me you were coming home?

I'm sorry about that, Daisy,
but I wanted to have my old job

back before I came a-callin'.

That's another thing
that ain't changed.

Same old Enos, cool as
all get out around the girls.

Coy and Vance Duke.

I'll be ding-danged.
It's good to see y'all.

Sheriff Rosco told me
that Bo and Luke was gone

but he never mentioned a
word about y'all being here.

That's 'cause Boss and
Rosco don't know yet.

And we'd like to keep it that
way. As long as we can, alright?

If that's what y'all
want, my lips are sealed.

Alright, partner.

Daisy, about me
coming a-calling...

I can't talk now. We're
on our way to Capitol City.

I wouldn't have seen you now
if Hazzard wasn't on the way.

I'll see you,
sugar. I'll see you.

- See you later.
- See you later.

But the surprises weren't
all over for this day.

Daisy and the boys had
another surprise in store

on the way to Capitol City.

And this surprise was
spelt T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Alright, let her roll!

And there it is. Boss'
new secret w*apon..

The Mean Green Machine.

Scares the fire out of me and
I don't know what it does yet.

Hard left!

Alright, let's do it!

What's that thing?

'Hold up your hands and
stay put. Nobody will get hurt.'

Looks like they're
making a withdrawal.

'Freeze! All of you, freeze.'

'You, chubby, put all the
money in the box. Get it. Now.'

'Move. I said move, move.'

'Faster, I haven't got all day.'

'I want every
last cent in there.'

'Keep it coming, keep it
coming. Move, move, move.'

'Thank you all very much.
You've been so kind.'

What is that thing
backing out of the bank?

You mean what's
left of the bank?

Go after it, cuz. Maybe we
can find out what this is all about.

- Nice move, Coy.
- Thanks.

I don't think I could
have done it better myself.

We all had a great teacher
in Uncle Jesse, didn't we?

Someone's comin'
after us. Speed it up!

Coy, that dude with the red
headband is sh**t' at us.

As long as they keep on missin'.

They're about feet
behind us. Closin' fast.

Well, they won't be for long.

Coy, watch out!

Now, if they'd had
been in the General Lee

they probably wouldn't
even have slowed down.

They're really
gettin' to me now.

Ease up on the temper, cuz.

Just put the pedal
to the metal, alright?

Alright.

Yep, them boys do
have a little Duke blood.

They got out of it.
What do we do now?

What's that old sayin' about

out of the fryin'
pan into the fire?

Things sure ain't changed very
much in Hazzard, have they?

Pull over here
and we'll fry 'em.

Clear out!

I see it, but I still
ain't sure I believe it.

Take another look of
what's left of our car, cuz.

- You alright?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

Oh, I can't figure
this out. No way.

I mean, where did
that thing come from?

That ain't half as
important as where it's goin'.

You saw what
happened in Capitol City.

It could do the same to
every bank in the state.

Including the one in Hazzard.

Ain't no place safe with a
monster like that on the loose.

Bring her on home to papa!

Hold!

Oh, this looks like a good hand.

Yeah, well..

You got enough
cards in your hand?

Yeah, let's see, one,
two, three, four, yeah.

Oh, that's good. Let's play.

You know, I know you
got threesies and twosies.

Give me twosies.

I didn't tell you go fish.

- Well, did you..
- Alright, you lose. I win.

Nothing, but nothing
can stop me now.

- Except them.
- Except what?

Boss, Rosco..

Daisy Duke, Daisy, wh..

Coy Duke!

- Coy Duke!
- Sir.

- 'Vance Duke!'
- Yes, sir.

What are you doing in my office?

In fact, what are you even
doin' in Hazzard County?

When you left here six years ago

I thought we'd
seen the last of you.

And good riddance to
bad rubbish, I might add.

'You were worse than
Bo and Luke Duke.'

We're real sorry to
make your day, gentlemen

but Coy and me,
we're back for good.

- For good? For good?
- For good?

Did he say for good?

- We're here to save your bacon.
- Save my bacon?

We hitchhiked from Capitol
City to do it, Boss, so listen to us.

The Capitol City Bank
just got knocked over

by some kind of green machine.

Looks like a cross
between an army t*nk

and something you might
see out of a comic book.

I know what that is. That's a...

That's a figment of
their imagination, ain't it?

On account of there
ain't no such animal.

You're gonna
find out differently

when it comes to Hazzard
and robs your bank, Boss.

- It can't rob his bank becau...
- Because it don't exist.

You Dukes, you're all alike.

You come pokin' your nose
in other people's business.

Poke, poke, poke.

- Now, listen to reason, Boss...
- No, you listen.

I mean, you may
not be on probation

like your jailbird cousins are,
but I tell you, a Duke's a Duke.

- You're guilty of somethin'.
- That's right.

And when I find out what it is,
I'm gonna nail both your hides

to the jailhouse wall and
throw away the hammer.

- So, git.
- Nobody can say we didn't try.

Well, y'all make us
feel real welcome.

- Yeah.
- Shame on you two.

Well, you just get on.

Oh, oh, Rosco.

Rosco, of all the people to
come back into my life now

Coy and Vance Duke!

They make their cousins

Bo and Luke look like choirboys.

Yeah, I know, they're just..

Somebody up there hates me.

Oh, little fat buddy,
somebody down here likes you.

- Can I have some of this cake?
- No, no.

Boss, give me
just one little bite.

- They chucked fire at you?
- Sure did.

Then, after it burns
our car to a crisp

it just turns around, rolls
away and disappears.

Now, things don't
just disappear.

I gotta feeling they just
stashed it somewhere.

The way we see things,
whoever built that monster

ain't gonna settle for
just the Capitol City Bank.

It's bound to show up again.

If it comes here, it
could turn Hazzard

into one big pile
of kindlin' wood.

There's another thing, it
ain't like Boss and Rosco

not to be scared of the
Hazzard Bank being robbed.

Unless they know a lot
more than they are lettin' on.

I think we better
find this thing.

Even if we've to comb the
whole dang county to do it.

I gotta feelin' we're
gonna have to put

the old General back
into service again.

Jesse was right, as usual.

'Cause Boss and Rosco
had gone to the check on

the Mean Green Machine
they said didn't even exist.

Christmas came early this year.

Yeah.

I already heard
you got that jackpot.

- Tinkle tinkle.
- That's right, Santa.

That ain't all we've got.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Right through here?
- Let me see it.

Oh, Rosco, look at that.

That's my beautiful
Mean Green Machine.

- Oh, that looks mean.
- And lookie there.

That's what you got,
huh? A printing press.

Oh, printing press.

You're sure that this model
will do the job for us, ain't you?

Positivo, amigo.

I modified it a bunch

after we sort of borrowed it
from the Bayou Weekly Bugle.

You borrowed it. That's good.

Alright, alright, now let Santa
take a gander at that cash

you withdrew from the bank.

Hatfield, do the honors.

- Oh! Beautiful.
- 'It's all there.'

Twenty eight
thousand and change.

Twenty eight
thousand and change.

- You know something, Boss?
- What?

If you only spent half that
much on this monstrosity

well, you're you into profit.

Would you hush? Just zip up!

A smart man like you knows
that a smart man like me

has got lots of extra expenses.

- 'Like what?'
- Like what?

Well, like using some
of this moolah here

to make sure that nobody
like Coy and Vance Duke

will be around to interfere
with that big hit on Friday.

Seeing as how they'd be using
him from now on, Coy and Vance

figured they'd better
find what old General Lee

could do under
battle conditions.

Yee-haw!

'Whoo!'

Yee-haw!

'Danged if the General
don't handle good.'

'Just like the first time Bo
and Luke let me drive him.'

'What do you say, we
head out to Willow Road'

and start hunting for
that green monster?

'We'll start with what's left of
our car and work our way back.'

Long about this time,
Boss let old Rosco

in on the details
of the biggest scam

that he'd ever pulled.

You know all about
them genuine government

hundred dollar printing
plates, don't you?

- Ha ha ha.
- Oh, yeah.

You mean to tell me
that's what we're after?

The government printing
plates that print those genuine

US of A $ bills?

The US Mint's been having a
big exhibition of them plates.

Been showing them in
banks all over the South.

The exhibition is
due to leave Biloxi

this very morning
in an armed convoy.

Yeah, on their way
back to Washington.

Only a little bird tells me
they ain't gonna get back there

just as soon as they thought.

How does that
little bird know that?

On an account of..

That convoy is gonna be
passing through our own Hazzard.

- Oh, yeah.
- On Friday.

Yeah, right down the highway.

That little bird also told me
that they're gonna be detained

right there on the highway
by what you saw in the barn.

- 'My Mean Green Machine.'
- Mean Green Machine.

And when that happens,
why, we just get our hands

on the plates.

Get back to the barn,
get out that press..

'...and start printin' money.'

After couple of days of
round-the-clock printin'

I'm going to miraculously
discover their missing plates

right out there in the boonies.

- In the boonies?
- Yeah.

Then I'll just turn
'em over to the FBI.

Turn them over to the
FBI? Are you nuts, Boss?

Listen, why would we
do a fool thing like that

when we can just keep
printing? Printing, printing, printing.

Oh, ain't you the greedy
one. Well, enough is enough.

Besides, I don't want to
get stuck with the evidence.

- Which reminds me.
- What?

I gotta get back into condition.

- Oh, good grief.
- Look at me.

Yeah, I gotta get myself
enough energy and strength..

To start spendin'
all that money.

That does my arm.

Now for my leg.

- Argh!
- No-o-o.

It didn't take long
before Vance's hunch

about going back to their
b*rned-out car paid off.

What do you think?

Unless they've been using
a road scraper around here

these oversized
tracks had to be made

'by that fire-spitting machine.'

Yeah, that's the
way I figure too.

We got just the guy who
can run 'em down for us.

- Cooter. Yeah.
- 'Alright.'

Alright, here we go.
Right here, I think we got it.

'We're in business here.'

What we've got here
is a ply off-road job

that was made by the
Bull Run Tire Company

in Atlanta, Georgia.

How do we know if
anybody sold a set of them

say in, uh, the past
couple of months?

Ain't nothin' to it.

It's got about a dozen
dealers around the state

and I'll just call 'em up
on the phone and ask.

Hey, y'all..

I don't know if anybody
has told you or not, but..

But welcome back to Hazzard.

Where y'all been?
I tell you what.

Good to see y'all.
You're looking good.

You've been doing
it at the wrong place.

Ah!

J.D. Hogg here.

Want to speak to
Santa Claus? Speakin'.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Alright. Alright.

Thank you very much
and Merry Christmas.

- That good news?
- I guess so.

- Did you find your reindeer?
- Better than that.

That armored convoy
left Biloxi this morning.

That means that on
Friday he'll be coming down

the Hazzard highway
right on schedule.

We got nothin'
more to worry about.

- Except those danged Dukes.
- Except those danged Dukes!

That's right. That's
right. So listen.

You better just take
care of them tonight.

- I'll take care of them.
- That's good.

- How you gonna do it?
- I'm gonna...

Don't tell me.

Wait a minute, Murphy.
Who'd you sell 'em to?

Josh Scroggins.

'Uh-huh.'

'You got an address on him?'

You do?

'If there's ever anything
we can do for you'

up this way, just
give us a holler. Bye.

Josh Scroggins moved
a couple of weeks ago

but he did leave a
forwardin' address.

Care of general delivery..

Right here in Hazzard.

Coy, we just hit paydirt.

- Thank you, buddy.
- Any old time, y'all.

- Thanks a lot, Cooter.
- Holler if you need me.

While the boys was
grabbing some heavy winks

after their first full
day in Hazzard..

Rosco was planting
some of that loot

from the Capitol City Bank
robbery in General Lee

so he could find it in front of
witnesses the next morning.

While nearly losing a thumb.

Ain't you glad he
don't work for you?

And the next morning,
Boss' partners in crime

was pickin' up some
packages mailed to him

care of general delivery.

What do you want, an
invitation? Open the trunk.

Hey, ain't that the two
hotshots Boss warned us about?

Hey, ain't that, that dude
with the red handkerchief?

'Yeah, that's him.'

I don't know. We ain't gonna
wait around long to find out.

Welcome back to Hazzard, Coy.

Duke boys got themselves
a typical Hazzard welcome.

Now!

Welcome back to Hazzard, huh?

Phew!

What've they got
against pedestrians?

Yeah.

Let's go get the
General and ask them.

Yeah, alright. Ha ha. I got you.

Alright, just freeze it
right there. Just freeze it.

Rosco, will you
quit clownin' around?

The fellas we think robbed the
Capitol City Bank are escaping.

Are you kiddin' me?

I know who robbed the bank
and I'm lookin' right at 'em.

Alright, get out of that
vehicle and hand me the keys.

Good.

Now, Cletus, now
you guard that crook

and Enos you open the trunk
and let's find the evidence.

I'm sorry, Vance.
Orders is orders.

- Just open it up.
- I know he ain't gonna find it.

'Naughty, naughty!'

Oh ho-ho!

Possum on a gum
bush! Lookie here.

'Vance.'

Boy, I sure hated doing that.

I feel guilty as sin.

No sign of 'em up ahead.

There's no road between
here and the crossin'.

Mybe we can head them
off before they get there.

Alright.

We give 'em the slip?

Not hardly. Over there.

We'll have 'em in
another quarter mile.

I sure hope so, cuz.

- Dang! It's flooded.
- Just when we almost had 'em.

Now they got it comin'.

Alright, you Dukes.

Now, where were we before
I was so rudely interrupted?

Alright, you dipsticks.
Cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

'Sorry, fellas.'

J.D. has set the bail at $ .

I offered to give him a mortgage
on the place for that amount

but he wouldn't hear to it.

'I don't know anybody in Hazzard
who's got that kind of money.'

- Except me, Uncle Jesse.
- What do you mean?

You can let 'em out now, Cletus.

What're you talking about, Enos?

I'd like to let them
out as much as you

but I ain't got $ , . Where
are you gonna get $ , ?

By selling my brand
spanking new used car

that I bought when
I was in California.

Thank you. We
can't let you do that.

That's right, we can't.
Thank you, honey.

Already done did it, Daisy.

'I got paid with a
cashier's check'

from Mr. Hogg's bank.

Enos, I sure wanna thank you
for gettin' my cousins out of jail.

- Yeah. Thank you, Enos.
- Thanks a lot, Enos.

That's the least I can do
after locking y'all up like I done.

Don't go blaming yourself,
Enos. It ain't your fault.

Rosco gives the orders.

We'll pay you back as soon
as we find that green machine

and make Boss and
Rosco drop those charges.

That ain't gonna be easy to do

seeing as how we
ain't got nothin' to go on.

We got this. It dropped outta
the car before they ran off.

I sure wish I
knew how it tied in.

- What is it?
- Hey, y'all, let me see that.

Hey, I learned all
about this kind of stuff

in the metro squad of the
California Police Department.

This is the kind of paper the
US Mint uses to print money on.

Alright. Happy holiday.

- Rosco.
- What?

That armored convoy is
already at Indian Forks.

That means, that
in exactly one hour

it will be comin' down
Hazzard highway.

Oh, that's good news.

Yeah, not till I let Santa's
helpers know it ain't.

So, while I'm talking on the CB

you keep up with
my exercise, will you?

- I'm pounds behind schedule.
- Well, I..

That's a big ten-four,
Santa. We're on our way.

If y'all don't start pickin'
up the forks, fellas

I'm gonna think you
don't like my cookin'.

Sorry, Daisy. I got too
much on my mind to eat.

You ain't the only one.
It just don't make sense.

They got a machine capable
of knockin' over any bank

in the state and they ship
in back-note paper. Why?

Maybe J.D.'s gonna
start his own mint.

Counterfeitin' ain't that easy.

Even if you have the
right paper and ink.

If you got that, you gotta have
perfect plates this day and age.

And where you gonna find
them in Hazzard County?

And here it comes.

The US government,
Department of Mint $ plates.

Hey, Uncle Jesse, what's that
say there on the front page?

- Where?
- Right there.

"$ plates on tour.

"The government's been
exhibiting $ plates

'"throughout the South.'

"After being on exhibit
in Biloxi for three weeks

the plates left for Washington
yesterday morning."

That means they'll been
comin' down Hazzard highway.

That means anytime now.

There's your answer. That's
how Boss will get them plates.

He's gonna hijack 'em with
that big green battle wagon.

- Come on.
- Oh, my goodness.

Daisy, you go south and give
us a call if you see that convoy.

Uncle Jesse, go north
in case they get by us.

I got ya.

'Now.'

Alright, Hatfield,
they're tipping over.

When that government
driver comes to..

He gonna be one surprised fella.

Go, go. Go on. Go get 'em.

'Go on.'

Those kids in that
orange car again.

'No sweatski.'

Now, I do hope they remember
what happened the last time.

I'll hate to see old
General torched.

You can make out
they're plain serious.

Yeah.

We have to make the fastest
pit-stop tire change in history.

Don't stand there.
Let's get moving.

Santa's helpers CB'd
Boss and told him

that they had the plates.

And they would meet
him at the hideout.

Less than two minutes.
They can't be too far ahead.

Let's go.

Not a sign of them yet.

We can see a good
five miles from here.

'But we couldn't
have passed them.'

Hey, that pickup truck
back there, haulin' that trailer.

It could have been
underneath those tarps.

Right, let's go.

Hey!

What are we stopping here for?

We got the plates, why
don't we just take off?

I wanna make sure
that the Boss and Rosco

can't blow the whistle
till we're miles away.

Now that's downright dishonest.

It didn't take long
for the boys to learn

that they was hot on the
trail. But it cooled off in a hurry.

They lost us again.
What do we do now?

Keep looking, unless..

'Hey, over there.'

'I can understand
Rosco patrolling the road'

'to Seminole Canyon.'

'Only, why would Boss
be ridin' along with him?'

'Cause he's after the
same thing we are.

- The Green Machine?
- It looks that way.

We'll use that bridge
and then double back.

It's a couple of
miles downstream

but better than drivin'
through that quicksand.

'Floor it, cuz.'

Alright.

- Oh, here's Santa Claus.
- Ho-ho-ho.

Alright then, helpers.

You got the plates, I presume.

- Yeah.
- Oh..

- Beautiful.
- Beautiful.

Alright, what are
we waiting for?

Uncrate the press
and start printin'.

Start printin'.

Well, it's empty.

Yeah, wait a minute. Listen,
helpers, we need a press.

How else we gonna
print my money?

We ain't. We gonna print mine.

- You?
- Only, not here.

I hate to tell you this, but I
think we've been snookered.

- Snookered?
- With a capital, Snook.

'Well, so we have.'

- You're the sheriff, ain't you?
- Right.

- Arrest them snookerers.
- Yeah.

I'll arrest 'em. I'll
cuff 'em and stuff 'em.

I'll cuff 'em and stuff 'em like
they've never been stuffed.

I mean, I'll throw 'em in that
slammer until they vibrate.

'I mean, I'll just..'

On second thought, I'm gonna
let 'em off with just a warning.

It took the boys
a good minutes

to detour around the bridge

and get back on the
road to Seminole Canyon.

By then, them crooks and
the Mean Green Machine

was long gone.

But the boys managed to
spot ol' Rosco's patrol car.

The Duke luck is holdin' out.

Ah, the Duke boys.

- What happened?
- What happened?

Well, we spotted
that green machine

you boys told us
about, and-and..

Well, we followed it here,
uh, so the sheriff could arrest

who was ever in it.

He's the one who
planned the whole thing.

Um, yeah, I planned
the whole thing

to stop 'em from bankruptin'
the whole US of A.

Yeah, that's my law abiding duty

as a patriotic law
abiding citizen, ain't it?

That's our patriotic
duty to help you.

Yes, sir.

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

Yeah, and mine too.

They're gonna help.

Alright, come on.
Come on. Get movin'.

Get movin', will ya?

They're goin' that way.
Alright, go over there.

At least we know
which way they're going.

It's the only road
to the canyon.

I hope they ain't got too much
of a head start on us, partner.

This is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane

'calling Hazzard .'

'This is Hazzard . Come back.'

Yes, sheriff. Now which
one of us do you want?

- I'll take...
- Ah-ah!

We don't want either one of you.

'But we got no choice.
Now, you just listen.'

There's a pickup pulling
that Mean Green Machine

on a flatbed trailer.

And they're headed
east on Seminole Road.

'Now, your job is
to slow 'em down.'

'Yes, sir.'

'We'll set up a
roadblock, sheriff.'

I was afraid of
somethin' like that.

Can't take chances
with this pickup.

We'll have to go with
the machine. Pull over.

Seminole Road?
We're going wrong way.

Seminole Road is back this way.

I'll chop down the tree.

You get them barricades
out of the trunk, Cletus.

- Okay.
- Come on.

- They left the excess baggage.
- We must have 'em worried.

We gotta catch them
before the end of the canyon.

There's a dozen ways
they could go from there.

Cletus, it-it's coming!

Cletus, that thing is dangerous.

Yeah, it's made me mad now.
It's nothin' but a big green bully.

Get after it.

'Alright, Cletus, pull over.'

Ha, we can take this turkey.

Hey, don't get near him.

- He's got spikes on the wheel.
- That weasel..

You wanna drive?

I'm telling you, it's got..

Hey, Scroggins. It's
that orange car again.

Stay outta range of that
flamethrower, we'll be okay.

You got it.

I like my barbeque in the
backyard, not the front seat.

We're got to thank Bo and
Luke for leavin' us their arrows.

Sure will.

Anytime you're ready, Coy.

Hey, anytime you're ready.

Alright, join the Air
Force and see the world.

You better get movin', we
are gonna see the world.

Now if anybody didn't know
that Duke family was up to snub

they'd know now.

Good job.

See what I mean?

What was that you were
sayin' about them boys

not been not able to
measure up to Bo and Luke?

It just shows you how wrong
a girl can be once in a while.

Oh, I'm so proud
of 'em, Uncle Jesse.

Rosco had the pleasure
of throwin' the crooks

into the slammer.

He was dang lucky, he
didn't have to go with 'em.

No! Oh-ooh!

See there? See that, don't you..

Enos got his bail money
back and went a-callin' on Daisy

just like he used to.

Aww!

- You know somethin', cuz?
- What's that?

Out of all the fancy
places I've been in..

It's still real nice
bein' back in Hazzard.

Funny, I feel the same way.

I wouldn't trade life
here for anything.

Amen.

Yee-haw.

Now, you might
say that everythin'

was back to normal..

Uh, except for one little thing.

When the boys went out to
get the Mean Green Machine..

It was gone.

Only, I got a sneaking hunch

that someday, it'll be
showin' up in Hazzard again.