'Yee-haw.'
Sometimes things in
Hazzard ain't what they seem.
Now, here's Coy and Vance Duke
chasing down Hazzard Highway.'
And it seems like
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane
is giving chase for no
good reason, as usual.
So it seems..
But it ain't.
Just seems.
Well, well, well, looks
like old Rosco's after us.
First time all week.
Let's give him a
run for the money?
I'm with you.
Flash, would you
look at those Dukes.
They're in front of us and
won't get out of the way.
Boss is expecting
me back, right away.
'I can't seem to shake 'em.'
Must've juiced up that engine.
I don't feel like arguing.
Just do something.
Alright.
He ain't chasing us.
Kind of makes you
feel unwanted, don't it?
Sure does. Like
a skunk in a bunk.
Wonder why Rosco lost
interest in us all of a sudden.
'Beats me.'
'Better get them roofing
materials, though.'
'Uncle Jesse's waiting.'
That's the old road
to Rapaho County.
As you can see,
they've improved it.
What you reckon
Rosco's doing over there?
We'll get those
telephones inside there.
'Hey, Boss, I got..'
- 'Oh!'
- Rosco! Watch it!
Rosco! Get off of me!
I brought you these
phones you wanted.
Ah! You're strangling me.
You're strangling
me with the phone!
Get it off of me!
You ought to have a sign hung
on your brain, "out of order."
It looks like Boss
has got a new wrinkle.
And it ain't fat.
He's got enough phone lines
to start a legitimate
phone company.'
Or an illegal
horse-betting joint.
Any of you suckers out
there wanna bet which?
Just in time. Because
Swifty Barnes..
Is helping me set
up all this thing.
Well, he's gonna phone
me any minute, now.
As soon as he gets
our line hooked in.
Ooh, yeah. And then
we open 'em doors
and all those people
from Rapaho County..
They come flocking in
here, laying their bets down.
Flocking in here and
phoning in here, too.
We've spread the word. We're
gonna get them both ways.
Both ways!
Alright, Swifty, come on.
What's keeping you?
Old Swifty is right on schedule.
Up a pole, rigging the hot
line for Boss' bookie joint.
I'll get it.
Hello. Hello?
'This is Jesse Duke.
You're gonna talk, right?'
Wrong number or somethin'.
- Hello?
- Hi, Boss.
All hooked into the
Duke's phone line.
Just like you asked for.
Oh, let me tell you,
Swifty, you are a genius.
Now, we can't be traced, can we?
Even if we do have
run in with the feds..
The Dukes only
have to take the rap.
We get the money, and the
Dukes get the rap. I love it!
Alright, Swifty, listen to me.
You're gonna be our front man.
So you just get yourself
back here quick, you hear?
- We're opening at noon.
- At noon.
- Alright, bye.
- Gotcha.
Now, friends, that's dirty poo.
Framing the Dukes by
using their phone line.
He's probably figured out a way
to charge all the
calls to them, too.
We're not going
to get in any trouble
opening a horse-betting
parlor, are we?
The only ones who have to worry
about trouble are the Dukes.
It's taken Swifty
Barnes and me weeks..
To set everything up.
But we've got a contingency plan
for every possible
kind of problem.
Ah! Except this one.
And so, Boss' betting
parlor opened for business.'
And so far as the folks in
Rapaho was concerned..
It was Swifty's operation.
Because Boss and Rosco
didn't show their faces.
Alright, there's
$ on the nose..
Royal Prince..
Don't take credit cards.
Fourth at Fairfield. I got it.
Thank you very much, sir.
You've got yourself a bet.
- Rosco, ain't this wonderful?
- Oh, yes.
I mean, all this beautiful
money coming in to us..
And nobody even
knows we're here.
It is pouring in and all of it's
coming from another county
which is just great.
Well, listen, we've milked them
Hazzard County folks enough.
It's time to spread it around.
Oh, you got a good heart.
Okay, folks, the
windows are closing.
'It's post time from
the Fourth at Fairfield.'
Here, let me see. Let me see.
- Are you eating any of that?
- Mmm-mmm.
There's grease on your mouth.
'As they head
into the first turn..'
Listen! Get off my foot!
Uh... hello?
There goes the dang thing again.
It's been ringing all day.
I'll get it, Uncle Jesse.
Hello?
The way Swifty rigged the line
the Dukes would
hear the phone ring..
But that's all they hear.
Ain't science wonderful?
Nobody there,
just a lot of static.
Somebody ought to
go to town and report it.
- What'd you say we go now?
- Wanna come, Daisy?
Sure. That's if you don't mind
doing the dishes, Uncle Jesse.
- I was gonna...
- Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
'Wait a minute. I was..'
'Here they come,
riding for the finish line.'
'The winner's Storm
King, by a nose.'
Alright, that finishes it.
- You want some bones?
- Bones?
Yeah, for your hound dog.
Swifty Barnes, my little genius!
Let my fingers go tippy-toeing
through this green stuff.
Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry, Swifty.
I thought I was gonna
get his tippy-toe finger.
Listen, you better
get back in there
before anybody
notices you're missing.
- Okay, Boss.
- And you.
You get Enos on the CB.
And you make sure
that everything is still nice
and peaceful back
in Hazzard County.
Alright.
And remind Enos
of our cover story..
That we're out in the field,
reassessing county tax property.
Right. This is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane
'calling Hazzard . Come back.'
'Deputy Strate here, sheriff.'
'Boy, sounds like
you're far away, sheriff.'
I'm picking up a lot of static.
Where are y'all
reassessing at today?
We are reassessing
over near Rapaho County.
Ah! Cow chip! I told
you not to blab to nobody.
Would you zip?
Listen... if them nosy Dukes
get wind of where we are
and they come
snooping around here..
Well, the first thing you know
they'll find out we're
using their phone line.
Wouldn't that be
a fine kettle of fish?
- But...
- Zip!
Enos, this is J.D. Hogg.
'Listen, and you listen good.'
I don't want you
to breathe a word
about where we're busy
reassessing to nobody.
Especially to them
Dukes. You hear me?
Don't you worry one
little bit, Mr. Hogg.
You can count on
me. My lips are sealed.
Real tight. Over and out, sir.
There's Enos up ahead.
'Maybe he knows
what's taking up'
Boss' and Rosco's
time these days.
I'm sure getting curious.
When a Duke gets curious
things start to happen.
Pull over, Enos. We
wanna talk to you.
Hey, Coy.
'What's got into Enos?'
Looks like he's
afraid to talk to us.
That cinches it.
There is something
going on around here.
Let's find out what.
Polishing up on his
driving, I'm telling you.
You know, working for
the Hazzard County roads
is like being in the airport.
You ought to get hazard
pay. Hazard pay, get it?
Hey, Enos. Where
are you running?
Hey, Enos.
What's the matter?
Cat got your tongue?
Daisy, I'm awfully
sorry, but Mr. Hogg said
I shouldn't talk to y'all.
And I promised him. I
gotta keep my promise.
You should, Enos.
You're a good deputy.
- And reliable.
- You tell something, you do it.
Thanks, Daisy.
If Boss and Rosco are building
a still, none of our business.
- They ain't building a still.
- I bet they are.
- No, they ain't, Daisy.
- Yes, they are.
No, they ain't, Daisy,
they're just doing
a little reassessing out
near the Rapaho County line.
And, dang it, I said it.
- Don't worry, Enos.
- We didn't hear a thing.
I wasn't supposed
to tell y'all that.
- You're doing a fine job.
- Bye, sugar.
Wait a minute. A
man's word is his bond.
I broke my promise.
Wait a minute!
'Hold on!'
Meanwhile, over in Rapaho County
a couple of outstanding citizens
was finding out about
Boss' undercover operation.
Somebody's running a
horse room in my county?
- How'd you find out?
- The word's all around town.
Well, let's get
going, honey-child.
Nobody cuts in on
Big Billie Tucker.
I sure wouldn't. Boss just did.
And I think he's got trouble.
'Calling Sheriff Rosco.'
Meanwhile, back
at the horse room
Boss' pick-up man was
bringing in the telephone bets.
Money was pouring in
like fodder filling a silo.
Come in, sheriff.
Well, ain't you
gonna answer Enos?
- Go ahead, he's calling you.
- Oh, good grief!
Enos, this is your
superior officer, Rosco.
Listen, didn't I
tell you not to..
Bother Boss and I
when we're reassessing?
'Come back.'
I'm awfully sorry, sheriff
but... I accidentally
let it slip to the Dukes
about you and Mr. Hogg
being near Rapaho.
- No, no, that thimble brain!
- You dipstick!
He's gonna ruin
our entire operation.
Give me this. Enos,
listen, J.D. Hogg speaking.
Now, listen, I want
you to get out there
'and get them Dukes.'
'And when you do..'
if you don't wanna
get yourself fired
you will detain 'em.
Do you hear me?
Detain 'em. Over and out.
Yes, sir.
I'll do my best...
to detain them, sir.
We're gonna have to
go into action with plan B.
Oh, plan B! That's my
favorite plan, plan B.
Exactly which plan is that?
- Don't you remember?
- Let me guess.
Plan B is when you go
out and arrest them Dukes
and clamp them in the clink.
You didn't let me
guess. Okay, I'm gone.
I thought you would
have remembered.
No! Don't go that way, you dodo.
- The rear door.
- The rear door.
Nobody's supposed
to know we're here.
Nobody's supposed to know, huh?
Well, listen. Let
me ask you some..
Oh!
Okay, folks, get your bets in.
Ten minutes to post time.
'Well, we're almost at
Rapaho County line.'
There just ain't
nothing out here.
I wonder what Boss
and Rosco are up to.
Gotta be something shady
if they don't want Enos
telling where they're at.
Speaking of Enos..
Maybe, he's got something
else he don't wanna tell us.
'Rosco P. Coltrane's
got them blocked.'
Here they come. Here they come.
Vance!
Coming too fast.
Hold on, y'all.
If I was riding with a Duke
and he said, "Hold
on", I would, tight.
'Yee-haw!'
Ooh! Eee!
I don't think Enos planned that.
I know he didn't plan that.
Uh-oh. We better go
back to take a look.
'Yeah.'
Oh, honey, are you alright?
- Huh?
- I'm okay, Daisy.
I'm awfully sorry. I'm
supposed to detain y'all.
Looks like he did.
Alright!
Alright, you Dukes,
just hold it right there.
Just freeze 'cause I
got you under arrest.
You mind telling us what for?
I'd like to know what for, too.
What you did, was you..
Enos, what are you.. That's..
They were flying
without a license.
Rosco, what kind of
scam are you trying to pull?
It must be something really big.
Yeah, I'd bet on that.
See? See? Betting's
against the law, too.
Naughty, naughty. Alright, Enos.
Do your job. Come on.
I'm awfully sorry, Daisy.
- I'm sorry, Vance.
- I ain't gonna mess with you.
Here.
You let 'em get away.
'Coy! Vance! Y'all come back.'
They're getting away, sheriff.
You got my hat, sheriff.
Will you get on in
there and... get out!
Well, the Dukes got away.
Which don't mean nothing
this early in the game.
They're gonna be in more trouble
than a salmon
spawning in a dry creek.
Oh, you're back. You're
back. Alright, just a minute.
Listen, you locked up
them Dukes, didn't you?
- Oh. Well, not exactly.
- What?
Well, listen, I run
them away from here.
And Enos, he's got
his eyeball on them.
Enos does? Oh, what a
time for Cletus to be away
on his vacation when we
can use every man we can get.
Alright, listen..
No! Tut tut tut.
Don't you take any of that.
I got three phone calls
going at once, here.
- Oh. Well, here.
- Take one of these and help me.
Could you please repeat
that bet of yours, now?
- Hello? What?
- Ah! Rosco, you're choking me.
- I'll handle two.
- Oh!
- Listen...
- Don't do that!
- Rosco!
- What?
- Help me. Ah!
- Listen, I can't...
What? What?
'Place your bets one at a time.'
Uh-huh. Remember them?
They didn't just
come from church.
This is a restricted
area. You can't come in.
- Rosco, show them out.
- Alright, you two.
Go on out of here.
This is a restricted area.
And then you..
Grrr.
Might I introduce myself?
I'm Big Billie Tucker..
The new boss of Rapaho County.
Oh? Since when?
I'm J.D. Hogg of Hazzard
County, and I never heard of you.
- Me neither.
- You haven't, sugar?
I guess that's because we're
kind of new to these parts.
You see, last Thursday,
Rapaho had this sudden election..
That I just happened to win.
With the help of
my friend, here.
- Bull.
- Oh, yeah, I can see why.
'Okay, now, sweeties,
who's in charge'
'of this operations?'
It sure ain't these two.
He's too fat, and
he's too stupid.
Just a minute, here.
You-you bent that w*apon...
Wait a minute.
Let me handle this.
Look, let me tell you
something about your language.
You know, the
man's right, Rosco.
- I am too fat.
- And I'm too stupid.
Now you're getting
our drift, cookies.
I wanna know who's been
running this here sideshow.
'Cause he's been siphoning off
all this dough from our county..
And we want our cut.
Or we start breaking some legs.
- Get it?
- I got it! I got it!
Listen, b-b-b..
The brains ain't a
"he." No, it's a "them."
The Duke g*ng. They're
running this show.
We just work for them.
That's Right. It's the Dukes.
They plotted the whole thing.
You forced that out of us.
Check the numbers.
It's theirs. See?
Show him the phonebook, Rosco.
The phone book, under "Duke."
Here under "Dukes."
Their phone number's
our phone number.
See? See? See?
They're using their own number.
- Ain't they dumb?
- How do we get there?
It's Route ,
about miles east.
You come to Willow Corners,
past the old schoolhouse
fork in the road, you
come to Old Mill Road.
- You can't miss it.
- Let's go.
Rosco, get on the CB.
Tell Enos to start
tailing the Dukes
and let us know everything
that happens to them.
Oh, Swifty, thank
goodness you're here!
Listen, we got big troubles.
We gotta put plan C into effect.
- Plan C?
- Plan C.
We're gonna close
down the betting here..
And move the
whole operation, fast.
- Plan C.
- That's it. Go. Do it.
Now, Coy, Vance, and
Daisy filled in Uncle Jesse
about some very peculiar
happenings over near
the Rapaho County line.
And that phone kept ringing
and ringing and ringing.
Uncle Jesse, can you
figure anything shady
Boss would be
pulling out in that area?
Rapaho way? Ain't
nothing up there that I recall.
We got visitors.
Heck of a front for
some big operators.
Come on in.
Afternoon, sweeties.
I'm Big Billie Tucker, the
new boss of Rapaho County.
Oh, well, I'm Jesse Duke.
This here's Coy and
Vance, my nephews.
- 'And this is Daisy, my niece.'
- Howdy.
Well, what can we do for you?
Let me make this
short and sweet, sugar.
Now, all of your money is
coming out of our county.
And we want a cut of
that horse-room action.
Horse-room? What
you talking about?
The one the fat man's running
for you at the old warehouse.
Fat fella?
Well, that's gotta be Boss Hogg.
J.D. for sure.
'So that's what he's doing
over in Rapaho County.'
Look, you folks
got this all wrong.
The fat man's running that
scam. We got nothing to do with it.
That ain't the way he told it,
and the sheriff backed him.
And just how come it is
that all of them phones
at the feed warehouse is
got your number on 'em?
That explains all that ringing.
Oh, now, listen, your
fight is with J.D. Hogg..
That little fat fella
you was talking to.
Don't try to con me, old
man, I'm warning you.
'Now, we're tired
of fooling around..'
and we don't buy
your cop-out neither.
Now, do we get a
piece of the action?
Or does somebody get hurt?
Okay, you got us.
It's our operation.
Oh, now, boys, uh..
Sorry, Uncle Jesse..
We ain't dragging
you and Daisy into this.
Let's drive over
to the horse-room.
- You'll get your money.
- Now you're talking, sweetie.
Let's go.
And if you got
any ideas, forget it.
Now, you boys be careful
on your way over to the..
- Yeah.
- '...horse-room.'
- Huh!
- A-a-h!
Hold it!
Old Enos is getting better.
Ain't he?
- You forgot about the creek.
- The heck I did!
I think 'em Rapaho folks
is fixing to get a fast lesson
in Hazzard geography.
Yee-haw!
Well, they should be
out of action for a while.
'You buzz Uncle Jesse, tell
him to keep a sharp eye out.'
'We're heading to Rapaho Road
to find an old feed warehouse.'
Get down there and see if you
can push this thing up. Come on.
- No problem.
- Come on!
That's it. It's coming.
Let's go, sugar. We're
heading back to the horse farm
and teach them Dukes a lesson.
And I'm in charge of the class.
Ain't much action going on here.
This is the only old feed
warehouse I know of.
Sure are a lot of tire
marks around here.
Let's give it a look.
A big room just
eat up with empty..
Figures.
No phones around, ain't nothing.
You know, we probably
have the wrong warehouse.
- No, we don't. Look at this.
- What's that?
"Twenty dollars to win,
Twenty dollars to place.
"Speedy Lady, the
sixth at Blue Grass."
A bet marker.
I bet you Boss just
got nervous and ran.
Them turkeys from Rapaho
County must have really scared Boss.
Let's go to the farm, check if
Uncle Jesse and Daisy are okay.
That boy is just
improving all the time.
Uncle Jesse, Coy and me
just found a betting receipt..
The boys got back and
brought everybody up-to-date.
And Uncle Jesse
took it in stride.
And using our phone line?
Why, he's lower
than a short skunk!
It makes sense, though.
They get raided, we take
the rap, and we go to jail.
We've got to find out where Boss
moved his betting operation to..
And put the whammy on it.
That dang phone keeps ringing.
I'd like to pull it
out of the wall.
Wait a minute, Uncle Jesse.
That little old phone there
might just lead us to Boss.
How's that little old
thing gonna do that?
- Boss patched into our phone.
- Yeah.
Now, if Coy and me check
the telephone poles along it..
And see where that
horse-room wire ties in..
It just might lead
us straight to Boss.
Really, it's worth a
try. Let's get going.
- Alright, come on.
- Yes, sir.
- I'll be right with you, Coy.
- Alright.
Uncle Jesse, I think we'd better
do a little hunting of our own.
Good idea.
Tell her run into Boss'
horse-room before we do.
- Call before you try anything.
- We'll do that.
And watch out for
those Rapaho cuties.
Let's go.
A-a-h!
What y'all are looking
at is Boss' Plan C.
He got his whole
betting operation
switched to the old
Grange Hall in Rapaho.
He's bad... but he is slick.
Oh, Boss.
Doughnuts?
- Well, that does it, Boss.
- Oh, good.
The phones are
all switched over.
- That's better.
- Yeah.
And we're still hooked
into the Dukes' line.
- Oh, that's best of all.
- Oh!
- Now, let me tell you, Swifty.
- Uh-huh?
That you better get into action
before we have any more trouble.
Oh, yeah.
We're losing money,
moving around like this.
Okay, folks. Place your bets.
'Ten minutes till post time.'
Through the hole!
Through the hole, when
I need.. Oh, of course.
'Look at all those suckers
putting their money down.'
'Which will soon be our money.'
'Oh, I love it, I love it!'
'Hazzard to Sheriff
Rosco. Come in, sheriff.'
'I got a report to make.'
I'm sorry to interrupt
your reassessing, sir.
Enos, this is your
superior officer, Rosco.
What do you got? Come on.
Well, Coy and Vance was out
of that old farmhouse, you know?
And they escaped from..
And when Enos told them
about Coy and Vance
escaping from Big Billie
and how they checked
out the feed warehouse
Boss really had to
slow down his eating.
If they come hunting for
us, they're sure to find us.
You know that, don't you?
Alright, tell Enos he's gotta
lock them up and quick.
Enos, this is your
superior, again.
Catch those Duke boys
and put 'em in the slammer.
But you still ain't
told me why, sheriff.
I don't have to tell you
'cause I'm your superior officer.
They're jumping General Lee.
That means they're speeding.
- Now, just do it!
- Yes, sir, over and out.
Oh oh!
Oh, shucks! I'm sorry
I scared your horse.
- They took off on us.
- They sure ain't here.
Let's get back to
the Duke farm, fast.
Now, they gotta check
every line in Hazzard County.
There must be nearly
four or five of them.
'Steady as she goes, coz.'
- No break in the line, yet.
- 'What when we find one?'
- 'I go to work.'
- 'With what?'
Reckon do you know what
old Vance has got in that bag?
With this. When I was
in the merchant marines
I learned a little bit
about communications.
Dang, it's Enos.
Sorry, fellas. I feel
real bad about this
but I gotta lock you up, again.
No way, Enos. You
had your chance. Yeah.
'You guys can't go down there.'
Hey! Help! Hey!
Let me down. Help!
Help! Help! Let me out of here!
Don't Enos know it's
illegal to hitch-hike?
Well, let's get back
to where we left off.
You got it.
Help!
'Hey!'
They ain't here, neither.
Then we're gonna
have to track 'em down.
Well, it was a heavy
day for Hazzard huntin'.
But all the possum, deer
and boar were all safe.
Big Billie and Bull
was huntin' for Dukes
and Jesse and Daisy is
huntin' for the horse room.
The boys was huntin'
the patched-in phone line.
And, you know, I do
believe that they just found it.
'Yeah. That drop
line could be it.'
It's spliced right off
that main junction box.
I'll get my stuff.
Now, folks, I think this
boy has done this before.
Yep, I'm sure of it.
Stop! Stop! Hey! Help!
Kidnapping a law
officer's a , now!
'...into the stretch,
it's Macho Man
'and Little Joe, neck and neck.'
'They're coming
down to the wire.
'It's Macho Man, Little Joe.
It's Little Joe and Macho Man.'
'And the winner
is Captain George.'
Oh no!
Well, that does
it for today, folks.
But don't forget the big race
tomorrow, The Dixie Derby.
Be sure and get
here early. Ha ha.
How you doing up there, birdman?
I'm testing the lines, now.
- Would you quit droolin'?
- Well, it's the pig...
I'll do the counting
and the eating.
You just keep an eye out for
Rapaho hoodlums and the Dukes.
To the hole. To
the hole with you.
Well, Boss, we had
us another big day.
And tomorrow's gonna
be another big day, too.
Even bigger! A lollapalooza!
- You mean, plan D?
- Yeah, plan D.
- Good old plan D.
- That's my favorite plan is D.
Boss, would you run those,
run that plan by me, again?
I'm getting a little confused
with all them letters.
D follows C, which
comes after A and B, dodo.
D stands for the
Dixie Derby, tomorrow.
And we're gonna
make a real k*lling.
Oh, we are!
- K for k*lling.
- Yeah.
Things are getting too hectic,
if you know what I mean.
So as soon as we clear
out them suckers in there
we will just disappear.
I'll buzz my pal in Savannah
and tell him it's a go.
- Yeah.
- You do that.
Have any luck?
'Merle? It's Swifty.
The deal is on.'
Me and Boss want a quick
flash on the Dixie Derby, tomorrow
'as soon as they
hit the finish line.'
You got another
load of suckers?'
'Right. Over in Rapaho.'
We wanna know the winner
five minutes before
the wire-service call.
For my regular cut?
Right. I'll give you
the phone number.
- What you got, Vance?
- The whole ball of wax.
Looks like one of Boss'
flunkies just set up a scam
to cheat all them
bettin' folks, tomorrow.
- How they gonna do it?
- It's an old horse room racket.
They know the winner of the
race five minutes before the call
then rig the odds
and make a k*lling.
Can we stop 'em?
We're sure gonna try.
Help! Hey! Hey, stop! Stop!
I'm sorry I missed the
turn back there, bub.
I'll get you down.
Oh, thank you, sir.
- I appreciate this.
- How'd you get up there?
- Well, thank you, sir.
- 'Man!'
'I don't know how
he did it, either.'
Back her off. Okay, easy.
I thought you was
kidnapping me. That's a .
Kidnapping an officer and I..
Big Billie was still huntin'
for the horse
room's new location.
Looks like to me as if
Jesse and Daisy's found it
Would you look at all them cars?
'Holy mackerel!'
That's a road that leads in
to the Rapaho Grange Hall.
This is Shepherd to Lost Sheep.
So Jesse got on the CB
quick to tell Vance and Coy.
Uncle Jesse found
the horse room.
It's over at the old
Rapaho Grange Hall.
Great. Tell him to cool it
and meet us over at Cooter's.
I got me an idea.
Uncle Jesse, meet
us over at Cooter's.
There they are.
Okay, hold it
right there, fella.
'You're a sittin' duck.'
Friends, I'm sure glad I got
my pork skins right close by.
'Cause I ain't moving.
Now, come on down. Real easy.
'You keep your hands on the
wheel, where I can see 'em.'
- Let's go. Go.
- Get in.
'Hey, hold it.'
Get in the car!
- Shall we try the creek again?
- Be my guest.
'Yee-haw!'
Love that creek!
Alright, partner, let's
head for Cooter's.
Now Cooter was off on vacation
but the Dukes had a
standing offer to use his place
whenever they had
a real bad need for it.
And tonight was
one of them nights.
With those trigger-happy
characters from Rapaho out there
we're better off staying
right where we are.
Yeah, that's right.
Now, what's this idea
you two got about putting
J.D. out of business?
Don't ask me. He
ain't told me, yet.
To tell you the truth,
I'm still working on it.
So what do you say we
just get some shut-eye?
We have a big day tomorrow.
And so came the
day of the big race
and Boss' big swindle.
As Boss, Rosco and
Swifty were getting ready
Swifty's pal, Merle, was
moving into his spying position
overlooking the racetrack.
And Big Billie and her
muscle man was still out huntin'
for the horse room
and the Dukes.
And getting madder than a
nest of hornets poked with a stick.
And meanwhile, them
Dukes was gettin' ready
to carry out Vance's plan to
close down Boss' horse room.
Here, I had $ put aside,
we got for the hogs
and the balance makes $ .
You think that'll be enough?
If everything goes like I
figure, it's gonna be perfect.
- Daisy, you about ready, yet?
- I sure am, honey.
What do you think? You
think Boss can recognize me?
You've covered up all the
reasons he hired you for.
Don't you get sassy
with me, sonny.
You wanna get smacked upside
the head with this purse, here?
You look great, sugar. Here.
You and Uncle Jesse
take Cooter's loan car
get in position outside
of that bettin' parlor.
And leave your CB on.
Coy over here's gonna
be contacting you.
Well, Daisy's the bait, but I
ain't got the trap figured out.
Let me see.
The lambs are arriving
for the slaughter.
I just hope they brought a
lotta green wool with them.
Look, would you just
quit them bad jokes?
Here, get on the CB
and call Enos and tell him
to start patrolling the roads
and don't let no one through.
No. And I mean by that, the
Dukes or them Rapaho thugs.
Oh, yeah. Uh, uh, Enos..
Dixie Derby goes off
at . We got minutes.
Alright. I will get on
Boss' line. You stand by.
- Up here.
- My goodness!
Okay, folks. Next
race is the big one.
The Dixie Derby.
Betting windows will
be open in minutes.
I'm all set. It's up
to them horses, now.
'It's startin' time.'
Well, how much longer?
'The horses should be running.'
All we need is a
few more minutes.
Now, just about when it looked
like the Dukes was
making progress
guess who finally
got it together?
Dukes!
I told you old Enos
was improving.
He recognized them.
Take off. Circle back
after you lose him.
Okay, Vance, come
on down off that pole.
I'm sorry, but
you're under arrest.
I ain't going anywhere, Enos.
But you better get after Coy.
- Looks like he's getting away.
- You're right. Thanks, Vance.
Now, don't you go
away. I'll be right back.
Come on, you nags. Go.
'And the winner,
Country Dancer.'
'Country Dancer wins it'
'Fleet Sunrise was second
and Captain Jim, third.'
- Hi, Swifty.
- What's happening, Merle?
I got those results for you.
The winner of the
Derby is Country Dancer.
Got it. Country Dancer. Bye.
Now that's slick.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Hello?
- It's right here. I got him.
- Oh, yeah.
This here's Merle.
The winner of the derby
is Fleet Sunrise. Bye.
- The winner is Fleet Sunrise.
- Fleet Sunrise.
Alright, now listen.
We raise the odds
on all the other horses. Yeah?
Give them suckers
whatever they want.
But, but, but
we'll make the odds on
Fleet Sunrise one to .
That way nobody will bid on him.
Alright, Swifty,
you get in there.
Tell them to place their
bets for the big derby.
It's only five
minutes till post time.
Five!
'Yee-haw.'
Possum on a gumbush.
I ain't gonna do that.
Whoo! Boy, them
Duke boys are flat good.
Nice ducking, cuz.
Come on, let's go.
- Did you get the winner?
- Country Dancer.
Only Boss thinks
it's Fleet Sunrise.
That's great.
- Lost Sheep to Shepherd.
- Yeah.
The winner is Country Dancer.
I read you loud and clear.
Country Dancer's the winner.
This is Shepherd, out.
You heard it, honey,
Country Dancer. Go for it.
Okay.
If Daisy ain't careful,
that walk of hers
is gonna blow her disguise
from here to Roanoke.
We better get back to
the horse room, and fast.
Just in case they
run into any trouble.
Pardon me. What's the
odds on Country Dancer?
Oh, to one.
You make that to one,
and you got yourself a bet.
You got it. to one
on Country Dancer.
I bet they'd bet on a
monkey pumpin' up a football.
I heard it from
the horse's mouth.
So that's Vance's plan.
That's gonna wipe Boss
cleaner than a plateful of chicken
when a preacher comes to dinner.
Look at all those suckers
putting their money down
on Country Dancer
when Fleet Sunrise is
gonna win all the time.
Betting windows
are closing, folks.
The horses are
in the starting gate.
And here comes our k*lling.
Ain't that something, folks?
To see a couple of
stingers get stung?
- Money, money, money.
- Money, money, money.
'They're off and running.'
'Sea Breeze is breaking
out and taking the lead'
'Fleet Sunrise is second
and Captain Jim is third.'
How about that? And
the race is already over.
Ain't it relaxing when
you know the winner?
'Around the far turn,
it's Sea Breeze..'
Look at this layout.
' Captain Jim and Fleet
Sunrise are neck and neck.'
I don't see J.D., anyplace.
He's probably hiding somewhere.
Where's Country Dancer, fellas?
'There goes Ezra Colley.'
He's a bettin' man. Wonder
where he's coming from?
'Captain Jim and Fleet
Sunrise fighting for the lead.'
'Sea Breeze is falling back.
And here comes Country Dancer.'
'Country Dancer is
passing Sea Breeze'
'and moving up
with the leaders..'
It's those Duke boys.
They done found the place.
- Let me see. Let me see.
- Bad news, bad news.
- Yeah. It's them alright.
- I told you.
- But they can't stop me, now.
- They can't?
This is like taking
candy from a baby.
Oh!
Think Boss' problems
are getting complicated?
Looks like we
finally hit pay dirt.
'It's a driving finish.'
'Fleet Sunrise and Captain
Jim are neck andneck.'
'And here comes Country Dancer.'
'It's going to be a wild finish.
And the winner, Country Dancer.'
Country Dancer?
- He just said Country Dancer.
- Well, he...
- No, no, no. It's wrong.
- It is wrong.
Well, I got the tip-off. The
winner is Fleet Sunrise.
I know that's what you
said, but that announcer
stated that Country
Dancer was the winner.
I know, I know he did.
And at to one
we're wiped out.
Yeah, and the baby's
gonna take back the candy.
No, he ain't. Well,
we ain't paying off.
We ain't?
- How can we?
- I don't know.
We gotta skedaddle.
Come on, grab the suitcase.
Oh, yeah, well, let's..
Okay, fat man, we found you.
'And for the trouble
you caused us'
we ain't just taking a cut.
We're taking it all.
Can't we just talk
this over for a minute?
You had your chance,
cookie. Button up.
And nobody better follow us,
or somebody's gonna get sh*t.
Go after 'em. Don't stand there!
Come on, do something, will you?
That was a sh*t. A g*nsh*t!
Get out there, will you?
Dukes. Listen, we
ain't got no money.
Them thugs from
Rapaho took all the money.
Listen, you get out
there, and you catch 'em
and I'll drop all charges.
Go on, get going.
You drive. I'm
gonna even the odds.
Got it.
- You better get after 'em.
- I ain't going after 'em.
- Alright, J.D.
- Oh, hello.
There's a lot of folks out
here waiting for their money.
Yeah. Me and all these folks
bet to one on Country Dancer.
- And you gotta pay up, now.
- Well, don't look at me.
And don't look at me.
Oh, now, come on.
Quit stalling, J.D.
What do you mean by that?
Rosco and me, we
just come by here
to investigate this illegal
betting establishment.
- 'Ain't that right, Rosco?'
- 'Oh, yes.'
We're investigating
for several days, now.
It's been exciting. They say,
"They're off and running..."
Oh, would you just hush up
and go on after them crooks?
The General's been hit.
I better go with the big
stuff. Hold her steady.
We can't keep going much
longer. We're losing speed.
Now, that's more like it.
And so that's how
Boss' horse room caper
came to an end.
As well as the careers of
Bull and Billie of Rapaho.
Somebody ought to write a
song about them two sweethearts.
Poor old Boss couldn't
claim the money
'cause he told everybody
he wasn't involved.
So the Dukes paid
off all the betting folks
as old Boss ate his heart out.
And everything else
he'd get his self around.
The Dukes presented
their share of the winnings
to Rev. Frawley
for his orphanage.
Well, the Dukes got the
use of their phone back.
And things was peaceable
once again in Hazzard.
But don't bet on it.
05x08 - Hazzard Hustle
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.
Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.