05x11 - A Little Game of Pool

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard". Aired: January 26, 1979 – February 8, 1985.*
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Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.
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05x11 - A Little Game of Pool

Post by bunniefuu »

'Yee-haw!'

As y'all might already know

the General Lee has itself

quite a reputation for character

speed and right smart agility.

In fact, when General
Lee goes through Hazzard

most folks sit up
and take notice.

But Hazzard folks ain't
the only ones to take notice.

Uh, Boss, unless our radar
g*n is lying, that orange car

went from to in
two and a half seconds.

Now, that's the best time yet.

Well, what did I tell you?
You know, there ain't a sheriff

in the whole world who
could ever catch you

if you was driving
that orange car.

Add to that, the contents of
that little black book of yours

and we got the
keys to the kingdom.

A kingdom of payrolls, that is.

Well, the sooner
we get them wheels

from the Dukes, the
quicker we're in business.

- We're gone.
- Woah! Okay!

Well, now, it looks like
those two with the radar g*n

ain't the only ones keeping
an eye on the General.

How come there's a
railroad crossing gate

when there ain't no railroad?

Why don't you ask ol' Rosco?

Alright, you coot. Pull over.

Passing a railroad
gate's a $ fine.

How much you gonna fine
yourself for busting up one of 'em?

It's alright, Flash. Listen.

We'll teach them
not to sass us, right?

Hazzard Two, this
is Rosco P. Coltrane

from Hazzard One. Come back.

This is Hazzard Two,
sheriff. What can I do for you?

Enos, listen.

Flash and me are in hot pursuit
of some desperate criminals.

They're headed your
way, so slam the door shut.

Yes, sir. It is..
It is shut, sheriff.

Locked too, sheriff.

Enos, I mean, head
'em off, you dipstick.

Oh, yes, sir, sheriff. I'm gone.

Here he comes.

And here we go.

'Yee-haw!'

Wow!

I'm sorry. I didn't
see you coming, sir.

Enos, you dipstick!

Did you see what
you did to my vehicle?

- Here. Look at that.
- Sir, I tried to shut the door.

Listen, don't give
me any excuses..

Sheriff! Sheriff,
a charging bull!

Sheriff! Bull!

- Bull!
- A-ow!

Sheriff, a charging bull!

Don't! Move. No,
wait. Don't come here..

Get away from me. Enos!

Well, guess we're gonna
have some peace for a while.

I guess so. That's
all Mr. Pruitt's farm

we better call and tell him
his bull's got some visitors.

You got it.

Here we go, Flash.

You're a-you're a chunk.

You gotta go on a diet.

Rosco!

- What?
- Get in here.

Oh... yeah.

Rosco, this is J.D.
Hogg's finest hour.

- Listen to this.
- What?

Two of the best
wheelmen I know of

put together a
little black book..

Showing every payroll
shipment in this state.

- And they're bringing it to me.
- Brought it to you.

And all I gotta' do is..

Supply 'em with the
fastest vehicle in the South.

Oh, you're way
ahead of me, ain't you?

- 'Yeah.'
- Ain't it wonderful?

They drive the getaway
car, they heist the payroll..

And we split fifty-fifty.

- Uh, that's where you go wrong.
- Oh.

Yeah, uh, we'll
split what we split

'when we split
it, when we get it.'

- Got it?
- Got it.

Now, when do I get it?

Well, right after we get our
hands on the General Lee.

Any way we can.

Any way we can.

One of the cultural
highs in Hazzard

is the Annual Pool
Championship at the Boars Nest.

And lots of folks,
Jesse Duke among 'em

take sh**ting pool as
serious as country driving

country music and
country cooking.

Sinkin' it. But I
sure didn't leave you

any decent sh*ts, Uncle Jessie.

Well, we'll just see
about that a little bit.

'How about the off
the in the corner.'

- Just stay out of my way.
- Okay.

Excuse me, gentlemen. Excuse me.

When you've the
hottest car in the South

folks can become covetous.

But stealing General
Lee ain't car theft.

It's more like kidnapping.

It'd be a lot easier if they
just mailed you the trophy.

Alright, now, then, watch me put

the down in the
corner of the four ball.

Somebody's messin'
around with the General.

Hey, what are you
doing in that car?

Hey, come back here.
Where you going?

I'll go call the sheriff.

Now here's a problem..

Catching the General
without hurting him.

Wonder if they're
the same two dudes

that've been
following us all week.

If they are, we know
now what they're up to.

I can't figure how
they expect to get away

with stealing the General.

When everybody in Hazzard
County knows he belongs to us.

Long about this time,
Enos was practicing

how to b*at Uncle Jesse in
the upcoming pool tournament.

Uh-huh, he is improving.

sh**t! Ah..

Sheriff's office.
Deputy Strate speak...

Possum on a gum
bush, Uncle Jesse.

Yes, sir, we'll get right on it.

Hazzard base to Hazzard One.

'Sheriff, you out there?

'Some fellas just
stole the General Lee'

'and they're headed
south on Willow Road.'

Don't worry, Flash,
I'll handle this.

This is Sheriff
Rosco P. Coltrane.

I'm going after 'em now.

Enos, listen.
Now, I'm telling you

just to sit tight 'cause
I'm gonna handle it.

Hey, Marnie. Hey, Sarah.

Hey, your antenna.

- The road's out. What do we do?
- Just leave it up to the car.

General sure jumped prettier
when the Dukes are driving.

But you can't hold
a thoroughbred back

even if you ain't
got no class yourself.

Dang! First time I ever wished
the General Lee couldn't fly.

And they're good drivers.

We're falling further behind
every second. Come on, Coy.

We can't quit while we got
a drop of gas left in the t*nk.

Things ain't always
quite as bad as they look.

Being strangers, them
crooks don't know the territory.

Which was why Rosco
was racing after 'em

to stop them from
making a big mistake.

You dipsticks, what're
you stopping for?

Get back in there. What
the heck are you doing?

You know, what're you..

Look, we're going
back the way we came.

I don't wanna talk about
where we came from

or where we're going.

Will you get back in
there before it's too late?

- Well, what about them?
- It is too late.

You stand around talking all
day or you gonna arrest them?

Arrest them?

Of course, I'm
gonna arrest them.

Alright. Go on. You
get in my vehicle.

I'm gonna take you
right to the slammer.

- 'Now, you do that, Rosco.'
- Alright, get on.

Can't you guys
get anything right?

Get in that vehicle. Get in.

Poor old Rosco, just when
he get's to make an arrest..

It's a phony.

'Get here. You know,
you make me mad.'

'We got thinking
on the way, Rosco.'

We gotta give you credit
for getting on the ball so fast.

That's right. We've been
underestimating you.

We just wanna say thanks.

- Well, I appreciate it..
- Let that go... no.

Just because you saved their
car from a fate worse than death

don't mean you shake
hands with a Duke every time

they come snooping around.

That's right. You're
snooping around, you riff-raffs.

So, don't clutter up the place,
just move it on outta here.

Rosco, we were just
trying to be friendly.

Come on, Coy, let's
go help Jesse practice

for that pool tournament.

Yeah, well, it won't
do him no good. Listen.

I am sick and tired

of being the second best
pool player in Hazzard.

So I've been
practicing all year long

'just so I could b*at your
Uncle Jesse real good.'

And you can go and tell
him that for me. So get, go on.

Hey, Boss, the
pleasure is all ours.

- Get, get..
- 'Uh-huh. Alright.'

- Whoo-ee, that was close.
- Would you just stop "whooing"?

What's holding you up?

Take a look at
this booking sheet.

"John Doe and John Smith."

Crooks sure don't have
much of imagination

when it comes to phony names.

That's for sure.

Wonder why Rosco
let them get away with it.

Maybe, he figures it
makes no difference

as long as they're
under lock and key.

I don't know.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

Possum on a gum bush.

It must be them crooks
in the General Lee.

Oh, no, not again. Oh!

I'm running outta ladders.

It's Enos. Calling Hazzard Two.

General Lee. What's on
your mind, Enos? Come back.

Hazzard Two, come back.

He ain't answering. Think
he's sore about something?

If he is, glass of Uncle Jesse's
cider ought to cool him off.

Provided we can get him
to follow us to the farm.

Back at the jailhouse, old
Boss was trying to pacify

his partners in crime.

Now, the deal was, we supply
the payroll goods and the time

and you supply the getaway car.

Yeah, and you'll
get the getaway car

namely the General Lee.

- Won't you, Rosco?
- Of course, I will.

- I will?
- You will.

I will. Of course, I
will. You kidding me.

How am I gonna do that?

Well, how? I'll tell you
later when I think of it.

Because I sure ain't gonna
let that car nor them Dukes

come between me and a
beautiful little deal like this one.

And if that ain't trouble enough

being Dukes, they're
gonna get blamed

for knocking out the entire
Hazzard phone services.

Both lines.

'Help, golly, it's cold.'

'He's alright.'

'Think of the money he's
gonna save on laundry bills.'

With them crooks in the pokey
you'd think the General Lee

would be safe at the Duke farm.

But that ain't the way
it works in Hazzard.

Old Boss don't give up easy
when there's money involved.

- Ha-ha. Watch this.
- 'Well, well, well..'

Getting in shape for
the big tournament.

Well..

Here, let me get
a practice sh*t in.

'Let's see now.'

Look at that, number nine
ball in the corner pocket.

'I called it.'

- You didn't call that, J.D.
- Oh, didn't I?

Alright, J.D., you
didn't come over here

to gossip or practice pool,
now, what're you up to?

Yeah, Boss, we're in the
middle of a hot family game here.

Oh, well, sorry to interrupt.

'But you know that winning
that pool tournament'

is very important to me.

In fact, it's one of the
two most important goals

in my life right now.

'What's the second one?'

Probably foreclosing on the
mortgage on the poorhouse.

'Would you just stop
with them bad jokes?'

The other goal in
my life is owning a car

that could win
the Charlotte .

Mm-hm. That's
exactly what I want.

Now, the only car
around here I know

that could do a thing like
that is the General Lee.

'And so I've come here'

'to make you a bonafide offer
for that car of dollars.'

- Fifteen hundred dollars? Boss!
- Boss, you gotta be funny!

Alright, alright, listen. I
raise that offer to $ .

- But that's final.
- Yeah.

- Twenty five?
- You can just forget it, Boss.

General Lee is a
member of the family.

That's right. That's
telling him too, Vance.

Alright, alright, I
know that I can never

get you Dukes to
budge on that car.

I mean, you're un-budgeable.

'So, I might as well forget
about the whole thing.'

As long as I'm here, I'm
gonna get me another sh*t.

You know, I gotta
get some practice.

- Out of the way, Rosco...
- Now, wait a minute.

- 'Look what you did.'
- I don't believe it.

Oh, my. Oh, my.

- It's Rosco's fault.
- My fault?

You made me do that.
Come on, you better go now.

Looks like you gonna
have to find yourself

another table to
practice on, don't it?

J.D., dang, you got your
nerve coming out here

and rip my felt.

It was just an accident,
Jesse. You saw it for yourself.

Now, you know there
ain't nothing I'd ever do

intentional to harm a Duke.

- Oh, no.
- 'And listen.'

- I'll pay for that table.
- When?

Right after the tournament.
Come on, let's go.

That's what you
said back in ' .

At the Hazzard County Amateur.

Would you look at
what that dumb head did.

- 'Look at our poor, pool
table' - Just leave it up to J.D.

He's always got some kind
of a dirty trick up his sleeve.

- Just ruined our table.
- That's what worries me.

We thought two crooks
tried to steal the General.

Now, Boss, all of a
sudden wants to buy him.

Think one thing's got
connection with the other?

We can't tell until
we find out more

about Mr. John Doe
and Mr. John Smith.

I think I know
just where to start.

Well, Jesse's pool table,
that was a horrendous rip.

Yeah, well, with that pool
table out of commission

there's only one other place
that Jesse Duke can practice.

- Where's that?
- The Boars Nest, knucklehead.

And once he shows up there,
is he gonna be snookered?

Oh, snookered.

I'm gonna get my hands on
General Lee once and for all.

- Or my name ain't...
- Jefferson Davis Hogg.

Well, I see your pilot
light ain't completely out.

I appreciate it.

The boys had asked old Cooter

to go fish Enos out of the pond.

John Doe and John Smith.

How come their
names sound familiar?

What about fingerprints?

Sheriff must have
forgotten to take 'em.

Couldn't you get them off
them glasses they drank out of?

Yeah, sure can. I learned
all about that kind of stuff

when I was with
California Metro Squad.

Why you want the prints for?

Wanna know where they are

to find out why they
want General Lee.

Might get lucky to find out if
they was in business with Boss.

Seeing how he was
eager to get his hands

on the General as they were.

Mr. Hogg wouldn't have
nothing to do with car thieves.

- Would he?
- Come on.

Well, won't take me
more than minutes

to get those prints,
if you all care to wait.

Can't do it. We promised to meet
Uncle Jesse at the Boars Nest.

We'll be back soon as he
finishes practicing, alright?

Look, tell Uncle
Jesse I wish him luck.

- We will.
- You got it.

Well, with the crooks in jail

and the General
Lee back in the fold

the boys reckoned they didn't
have a thing to worry about.

Oh, well, well, well.

Here's the Dukes.
My, oh, my, look at you.

I mean, you got some gall.

Yeah, practicing on my
pool table behind my back.

What are you
talking about, Boss?

It says right here,
"Everybody welcome."

Looks like you outfoxed
yourself this time, Boss.

'Yeah. I guess I did, didn't I?'

You wanna rack 'em
up for another game?

Speaking of games, Jesse..

Now that you've
done all this practicing

why don't you and
me, for old time's sake

have ourselves a
real game of pool?

Ah, J.D., you're a
glutton for punishment.

But I guess I could
use a little warm-up

before the big tournament.

Oh, that's good.
And house stakes.

- House stakes?
- Yeah, with Ridge Runner rules.

- Ridge Runner rules.
- Alright, let's hit them.

- Done.
- Done.

Alright, alright. Now, now, now.

Seeing that the challenger
names the stakes.

I'm gonna bet my convertible.

- Convertible?
- Mm-hm.

Yeah. Against
your... General Lee.

Shoulda known you'd have
something up your sleeve, Boss.

Well, you see, J.D.,
I can't cover that bet

because the General
Lee ain't mine to bet.

It ain't? You should
have thought of that

before you spit and
shook on it, shouldn't you?

Don't tell me your
gonna try to weasel out

of Ridge Runner rules.

Uncle Jesse doesn't
weasel out of anything.

Far as we're concerned, General
Lee belongs to the Duke family.

- That's right.
- You got yourself a bet.

- Rack 'em up, Daisy.
- Alright.

No no. Wait a minute. Whoa,
Daisy, don't rack them up.

No, siree Bob,
because I need time

to give everyone
in Hazzard notice.

So that they can come and
see Jesse Duke get whooped.

This game is gonna begin
this very time tomorrow.

And may the best
man which is me, win.

Oh, he's a glutton
for punishment.

Rack them up,
Daisy, let's practice.

Alright.

'I don't know, it just
don't hold water.'

Why the heck would Boss make
a bet he knows he's gonna lose?

He must want that
General real bad.

For what? Feeding
him to the crusher?

No way.

My guess is, he
wants the General

for something no
other car can do.

The same goes
for them crooks too.

Which brings us right
back to square one. Enos.

I sure hope them prints tell us
something about them dudes.

Amen.

'Alright, Vance
Duke, I see you.'

Just pull over. This is Rosco.

Pull over, you're under arrest.

What is it this time, Rosco?

Yours is not to reason why.
Just to pull over and hush

like I done told
you. Now, do it.

We're real sorry, Rosco. But
Bo and me, we've got our plans.

Hold on. I'm gonna
jump this one.

Why not?

If I was driving, I could think
of a whole buncha reasons.

Yee-haw!

We can make it. We can make it.

O-o-oh!

Oh, I made it. Did it... oh!

Rosco had a nice landing.

Yeah.

This is Sheriff Rosco, this
is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Stop that vehicle.

I am on top of this..

'Listen here,
you've to stop this..'

I'll just go back
this sucker off.

Ain't they beauties? Imprints
came off the glass as perfect.

Look good to me, Enos. How
do you run a make on 'em?

Oh, that's easy. We gotta
facsimile machine out back.

All you do is, lift the rubber
cover, insert the prints

mash the buttons
in, relay straight

to the FBI office in Washington.

If anybody's got a
record, we find out.

Faster than a porcupine
with an in-grown quill, ha-ha.

Then, let's do it.

As soon as the
machine get's fixed.

I called a repair man, but
he can't come 'til tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- We'll have to wait till then.

Dang!

Well, at least those two in the
jail cell ain't going anywhere.

Oh, they ain't going anywhere.

The next morning Uncle Jesse

was just itching to get
overto the Boars Nest.

A good four hour before the
pool game with Boss started.

Now, listen, you two, if I
don't get in some practice

'I'm liable to lose
that General Lee.'

I need to get over
to the Boars Nest.

Now, how long is
this gonna take?

It's gonna be at least
another half hour.

'Heck, don't wait on us.'

Take the General,
the keys are in it.

We'll be along. Soon as
we finish with the pick up.

Thanks, every time I think about

how I let J.D. sucker me
into that bet, I could just..

Poor Uncle Jesse, he's worried
about losing the General to Boss

I bet he didn't even
sleep a wink last night.

Can you blame him?
He's scared as we are.

Boss has some dirty
trick up his sleeve.

I think he's got something
to do with those crooks.

Let's hope Enos
got those finger prints

to FBI in Washington by now.

- 'Yeah.'
- Come on.

I'm sorry, fellas, the
facsimile machine is still out.

The repairman called
this morning to say

his truck broke down and
he won't be here 'til tomorrow.

Darn it! Just when I thought

we were getting
close to something.

That ain't the only bad news.

You know them crooks,
John Doe and John Smith..

Mr. Hogg just bailed 'em out.

What?

You mean, without waiting
for you to run a check on 'em?

No offense, Vance, but
Mr. Hogg said it wasn't necessary.

He said the only evidence
against him was just your word

that General Lee was stolen
in the first place. I am sorry.

Well, so it proves we're
right about one thing

Boss must be tied in with 'em.

They are what I think they are.

Where's the nearest facsimile
machine that's working?

Sherriff's office,
over in capital city.

Your car's faster
than our pick-up.

You're driving us
there right now.

- I am driving? Leave me. Wait.
- Sure.

Oh, well the prints.
Hold on a minute.

Boss was getting ready
to push the General Lee

into a lot of crime.

Alright, Rosco. Put all
that stuff in the trunk.

Listen, boy. I want you to
haul all that paint and sprayers

over to that field I told you
about. Set everything up.

And you get ready to
paint the General Lee

just the moment I
win it from Jesse Duke.

- Any particular color?
- Lavender, let it be lavender.

- 'Well, mama loves Lavender.'
- Your mama won't be drivin'.

- Will she?
- No..

Listen, for the first job I want
you to paint that car black.

And then for each job after that

you just paint it
another color of rainbow.

- Yeah, like lavender.
- Would you just drop over it?

Then, if they came looking for
the car, well, they won't know

'which color car they're
looking for now, will they?'

- I'd like if it was
lavender, - Alright, alright.

Well, the second
one, paint it lavender.

- Oh, goodie goodie gumdrops.
- Yeah.

All the while they're looking,
I'll be wallowing in green.

You in green.

- The long kinda..
- Oh, long, you mean money.

- Oh, I appreciate that...
- Oh, stop all that, will you?

Come on, we got to go.

'I appreciate you doing
that with the lavender.'

Hey, y'all were flat right about
John Doe and John Smith.

According to the FBI, their real
names are Landis and Purcell.

Oh, what do you know.

'Our good old friend,
Landis is a wheelman.'

Wanted for hi-jacking
in seven states.

Purcell's right
up there with him.

'According to this they're
a bunch of road pirates.'

Their MO's, usually
they hit an armor truck

on the outskirts of town then
grab a fast car and clear out

'before anybody can
spread the alarm.'

- Fast car. The General.
- You got it.

That's why they were so
hot to get their hands on him.

That's right. We gotta let
Uncle Jesse know and fast.

- 'Come on.'
- Wait, fellas.

'My antenna's busted, buddy.'

- Let's get to a phone.
- Let's go.

If this ain't one big mess.

The boys can't warn
Jesse's over Enos' CB

'cause Rosco hadn't signed
the slip authorizing Enos

to get his antenna fixed.

Now Jesse sure
needed to be warned.

He's fixing to start
a game with Boss

who's got something
up his sleeve

besides that
little fat arm of his.

Where the heck are them boys?

They should've been
here two hours ago.

I know. And we can't stall
much longer Uncle Jesse.

The telephone
wasn't no help neither.

Since how the Hazzard
phone lines were still down.

And since how old Coy knew
all the short cuts back to Hazard.

Well, he talked Enos
into letting him drive.

Game starts in less
than minutes.

We're gonna be
cutting awful close.

Alright, everybody just
shimmer down, shimmer down.

Now, you all know that
we're here to watch a contest

between Jesse Duke and Boss

and so we need somebody
that's neutral to hold the stakes.

So I'm going to
appoint Daisy Duke

'the holder of Boss'
convertible keys.'

Rosco, there's no way
I'm gonna be neutral.

We don't make a
diddly doo anyway

because Jesse
hasn't got a prayer.

What do you mean
I ain't got a prayer?

There you go, there's the
keys to the General Lee.

Okay. Good one.

'Little fat buddy. You
ready? Come on out.'

- Thank you, Rosco.
- Here, take tiny steps.

And around that fat
little arm is a cast.

'I'm sorry to keep
all you folks waiting.'

But you know, I had a little
accident on the way over here

and I had to stop
by the doctor and all.

It was horrendous.

J.D., you can't play pool with
your sh**ting arm in a cast.

I know I can't, Jesse,
ain't it a shame?

But under Ridge Runner rules

I fortunately was able to
find somebody to fill in for me.

- Who?
- Well..

Here he is now.

'Mr. Chickasaw Thins.'

Holy Mackerel! We've
been had, Daisy.

'That their fellow owns a
pool hall over in Chickasaw.'

He's a professional
pool hustler.

Pool hustler? Boss, we
ain't gonna stand for that.

- That's it, the bet's off.
- No, it ain't off.

J.D. maybe the lowest
down person to ever come out

of the Ridge Runners
but if he's had an accident

which it looks like he
has, he's got a right

to make substitute of
anybody he wants to.

Yeah, so I do and
which I have done.

Alright, alright,
everybody. Let's get started.

I did the challenging.
So, Jesse, it's your break.

- Rosco.
- What?

Do us the honors.

Now just hang on.

The Duke boys are
doing the best they can.

You're ready, Mr. Thins?

Come on, Jesse.
Alright, come on.

- 'Great.'
- 'Good break.'

- 'Oh!'
- 'Wonderful.'

Yeah, not bad for
starters, huh, Mr. Thins?

Excuse me, honey.

We go over here.

'Come on, Jesse. Keep it up.'

Excuse me, sir.

'Oh, no!'

And that's too bad, pops, 'cause
that's gonna be your last sh*t.

Well, I got you locked
in there, Mr. Thins.

Ain't gonna be easy.

You hide and watch.

- If you hit it right on the...
- Rosco.

Goodie goodie.

'Did you see that?'

More than percent of that
General Lee is mine already.

Uncle Jesse, you just keep your
chin up, we ain't whooped yet.

Them boys better stoke it!

'Cause Jesse's getting the
General deeper in trouble.

Not bad, but they'd do
better in the General.

Are you gonna sh**t,
Mr. Thins, or not?

- 'He did it again.'
- 'Good sh*t.'

Now, if you'll
excuse me. Oh, yes.

Here you go.

Eight ball in the corner pocket.

Eight ball in the corner pocket

Eight ball in..

Eight ball..

In the corner pocket.

If that ball drops where
it looks like it's gonna

General Lee is gonna
be in the wrong army.

'He did it, I won.'

This is the happiest
day of my life.

My car, please.

Now, you go out and
pick up my winnings.

I hope those Duke
boys don't mind walking

'cause they're gonna
be doing it for a long time.

- Yeah.
- I gotta put a stop to this.

Rosco.

Rosco. Rosco, wait.

Wait a minute.

- Rosco.
- Uncle Jesse, it ain't no use.

We just got to face up to it.

General Lee is gone.

- It's all my fault.
- Now, that ain't exactly true.

There's no way you could've b*at

a professional pool hustler
like Chickasaw Thins.

Uncle Jesse, you
gave it your best sh*t.

And the boys are gonna
be able to live with that.

Maybe.

But I don't know if I can.

While Jesse was feeling
lower than a snake shadow

Old Rosco was up to
his navel in tall company.

Get this.. Get that out.

Get that out of there.
Oh, there's a dip.

Oh, we'll see if we can fly.

Guess it's all in
having the right touch.

He won't have to worry
about air conditioning

in that house trailer anyway.

By the time Enos and the
boys reached the Boars Nest.

It was all over, but to cry.

You're still here, huh?

Well I thought you had
long gone to Saigon.

Yeah, I thought you'll be off
somewhere licking your wounds.

I can't leave, J.D.,
'til Daisy gets off work.

As you know, I don't
have no transportation.

- Oh, that's right.
- Hey, y'all.

Who won the contest?
As if I didn't know.

Boys, boys, you can
start congratulating me.

Because I am now the proud
owner of the General Lee.

J.D. here, he
busted his arm, and..

Under Ridge Runner rules I
had to play Chickasaw Thins.

'I ain't never b*at him.'

Sorry to let you down, boys.

You didn't let us
down, Uncle Jesse.

We'd all stand behind you
no matter what happens.

Now, Boss, you mind
telling me the reason

you bailed those crooks out
that stole the General Lee?

Crooks? What crooks?

'Oh-oh, them crooks.
I know who you mean.'

Well... there wasn't
sufficient evidence to hold 'em.

Well, there is now.

According to FBI, they're wanted
in seven states for hi-jacking.

Including this one.

That's right, Mr. Hogg, I
ran their finger prints myself.

Thank you very much.

That's why you were so
anxious to get General Lee.

It'd come in real handy
in their line of work.

Would you just hush up?

I am sick and tired of
listening to you losers spat off.

Now, I'm gonna set you
straight once and for all.

One, the General Lee is mine.

Two. I won him fair and square
under Ridge Runner rules.

And three! There ain't nothing
you dukes can do about it.

And furthermore..

If you don't clear out
of here this very instant..

Uh, oh, I'm gonna be sick.

Boss, there is just nothing
wrong with you're hand.

J.D., you were just faking
that busted arm, so I..

Under Ridge Runner Rules, I'd
have to play Chickasaw Thins.

And under the Ridge Runner
rules that means all bets are off

and the General
Lee is still ours.

Which one of you
knows where he is?

All I know is, Rosco took off
few minutes ago headin' north.

- That's good for me, let's go.
- You too, Enos.

- Goodbye, Mr. Hoggs.
- Ah, no, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Come back here, come
back here this minute.

Come back here.

Come back here.

No. Come back here.

I'll go get 'em.

Will y'all let me
drive for a while now.

If Boss finds out, he's
gonna have a conniption fit.

If we don't catch him,
I'll have one myself.

All the boys knew was that

Rosco was driving
the General north.

What they needed now

was a poker sack
full of four-leaf clovers

and a lotta luck
to pick up the trail.

Hang a left up ahead. I
don't know what's up that road

but let's find out.

The boys better firewall it.

General Lee is being fitted out

with a new, black
Sunday go-to-meeting suit.

That does it. We're
in business now.

Oh, You know
what I love about it?

Nobody will suspect
that Boss and I

are even connected with it.

- Oh, I love it.
- Nobody except them.

Oh, oh..

- We gotta clear out.
- What about me, now?

'What about you?'

Wait, you just, oh..

Enos, you take care of
Rosco. Come on, Coy.

- Sheriff, what happened?
- Will you get..

Get me up from
this pail. Would you..

It's all your fault. It's..

Oh, oh, oh.

Boss.

What a horrendous
crash in my vehicle.

Boss, what are you doing here?

I'm trying to save our bacon,
that's what I'm doing here.

Now, it's your turn.
Come on, you take over.

Let's go after them Dukes.

Uh... Mr. Hogg,
what about me, sir?

Use your own car! You ain't
coming in here with us. Come on.

Let's go. Come on. Keep moving.

Dang! There's too many
twists and turns on this road

to catch up with 'em.

We're gonna have
to stay on their tails

until we get to a straightaway.

'Come on. Come on.
Move it, move it, will you?'

Faster, faster. Can't
you go no faster?

Listen, if we don't
stop the General Lee

and they catch them crooks

them crooks might start
blabblin' and I don't know..

You know where we'd
spend the next years?

Oh, let me guess.

In the federal
pen, that's where.

- The pen.
- I didn't mean the playpen.

They're comin' after
us in the General Lee.

That car's too fast to outrun.

Well, it ain't faster than this.

Them boys sure play rough.
Don't get too much closer.

'We won't have to. Look.'

They're turning right. They're
turning right. Don't lose 'em.

How far back are Boss and Rosco?

Little more than
spitting distance.

Why is that?

Wanna make sure they
can't see us. Hold on.

Would you mind telling
me what we're doing?

That road comes together
again near the bridge.

What do you say we let Boss and
Rosco catch them crooks for us?

We have to jump.

- Hang on. We're gonna fly.
- Oh, no!

Horrendous ride.

That would have
k*lled ten ordinary men.

I tell you, I'm made of steel.

We're not the only ones..

- Are you listening to us?
- Are you listening us?

Naturally, the bad
dudes sung like stoolies.

But, since they couldn't prove

Rosco and Boss
was their partners

they got off except
for one little detail.

You alright, Mr. Adams?

Eight ball in the corner pocket.

Eight ball in the corner pocket.

No. Eight ball in
the... corner pocket.

Oh, Uncle Jesse.

After winning the Tri-County's
Amateur Pool Championship

Jesse made Boss and
Rosco paint General Lee

back to its original color.

In exchange for not
pressing charges against Boss

for violating the
Ridge Runner rules.

That's my new uniform.

Watch it! What did
you freaking do to me?

I'll do that to you.

How do you like this?

Here.

Except that they had to send off

for more paint to
finish the General.

It turned out a bright orange,
red-letter day in Hazzard.
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