05x20 - Big Brothers, Duke

[bunniefuu]

Now, y'all might remember
because of their probation

Bo and Luke ain't supposed to
cross the Hazzard County line.

But this is an exception.

They've come to Capital
City because they volunteered

to become big brothers to
a underprivileged teenager.

By treating him to a
week of positive influence

of Hazzard County.

Uh, that's him.

And he's trouble.

This looks like
the place, alright.

Hey, what's that
kid's name again?

Andy Slocum.

From what I could tell,
he's had a pretty rough time.

Been bounced around from
foster home to foster home.

We're supposed to provide
him someone to trust.

Someone to lean on, give
him a little head start in life.

I reckon that makes him bad
as underprivileged you can get.

- Let's go get him.
- You got it.

Big brother, big brother.

- You, Bo and Luke Duke?
- Yes, sir.

I'm Luke and this
here is my cousin, Bo.

'We talked to Ms. Brooks,
she said we could sign up for'

'little brother together,
gotta pick him about three.'

- His name's Andy Slocum.
- We came for Andy Slocum.

- Good luck.
- Oh, is he inside?

'Nope.'

'Is that your orange
car out there?'

- Yes, sir.
- Hell, yeah.

Not anymore. Andy's stealing it.

Oh, no. Hey, wait.

Well, this one's off
to a rip-roaring start.

Somebody to trust.
Somebody to lean on.

At least he got the head start.

Sorry we're gonna
borrow your truck.

Hey, wait wait a minute.
What are you guysdoin'?

I don't believe.. Would
you guys slow down?

- Hold it, he's right on top.
- Yeah, I got it.

Be careful, would you?

He's alright.

Big brother, huh?

Hey, nobody said
it's gonna be easy.

This place is turning in to
main street, Saturday night.

You just came off
the circuit, you ain't

gonna get a lil' traffic
bother you, are you?

'Hey, Bo, just pull
up behind that truck.'

Got it.

- Be careful now, Luke.
- Got it.

Get up, come on.

Alright, Andy. Pull her
over. This race is over.

The spare bedroom
is all fixed up.

And I found this
old baseball mitt.

Figured Bo and Luke and
that little boy wanna play ball.

- Goo-o-od.
- Hm, good.

Did you put a new line
on Luke's fishing pole?

Sure did. And I'm tying
up a bunch of fresh flies

so they can go fishing
when they get here.

You better start lunch.

They're gonna be
hungry as bears.

Uncle, I sure hope this little
tike has himself a good time.

- A good time?
- Yeah.

With big brothers
like Bo and Luke..

They're probably
thicker than thieves

right this very minute.

- No.
- You get in there.

- You stay there and sit down.
- The kid is a common criminal.

- He stole General Lee...
- And went for a joy ride.

Alright, it's wrong.
He broke the law.

Think he oughta be
taught a lesson, don't you?

Only lesson he'll learn is how
to be a bigger and better crook.

Are you boys going file
charges against this kid or not?

- No.
- Yes.

- 'No.'
- 'Yes, we are.'

'Bo, we volunteered to
be big brothers, didn't we?'

'Yeah.'

And that carries
with it a responsibility.

You know, teach a
kid right and wrong.

You boys made up your minds yet?

Yes, sir, we..

We won't file no
charges against him.

We'll just take him
on back to Hazzard.

Well, come on, you
gotta sign him out.

'Sit up straight, Uncle Jesse
sees you sitting like that'

- 'he'll whip your hide.'
- 'Just sign in, right here.'

'Didn't anybody teach you
the commandments?'

I dropped out of school
far low to count that high.

Why don't you gimme a break?
When we go back to Capital City

we need a couple
of... do-gooders.

If you feel that way,
how come you stand up

for the big brother program?

I broke into the
building... by mistake.

When they asked me what I
was doing, what could I tell 'em?

Gimme a pen I've
come to sign up.

You wouldn't listen to me, would
you? I said you should leave...

Bo, remember what
Uncle Jesse always says.

"Patience brings
its own reward."

With Andy It's gonna run us
into the six figure mark, I think.

Well, if Bo and Luke wanted
to be a positive influence

on Andy, they should make sure
he doesn't meet old Boss Hogg.

'Cause he's opposite of what
they want that young boy to be.

Oh, little bite here.
No, that's a doozy.

A little closer. Little
closer. Little closer.

- Eat, eat, eat.
- Ah, ah, ah.

- Uh, go on.
- No, no. It's no use.

- It's no use.
- You had it so close.

- No, I can't do it.
- Oh-h-h.

- I can't eat nothing.
- Oh-h-h.

I ain't near able to eat
nothing for the last two weeks.

- Oh-h-h.
- And look at me.

I'm a mere shadow
of my former self.

- Oh-h-h - I must've
lost pounds

the last week, I don't know
how many a week before that.

Oh-h-h, you're a mess alright.
Do you know something?

You're clothes are hanging
on you like a scarecrow.

And you know why?

It's-it's a multiple
choice question?

No, no, no. I'll tell you why.

Because I haven't been able
to make a single solitary dollar

- all these two weeks.
- Oh-h-h.

That's why I'm thin from
worry. Not one itty-bitty dollar.

- Just one itty-bitty bite.
- No, no, no.

Nobody wants to put their
money into any of my deals.

Just one little chomp.

It's just terrible, and you know
what's gonna happen to me?

- What?
- I'm gonna be knocked outta

business and right
into the poor house.

If you don't eat, I'm gonna have
to force feed you like a goose.

- I can't do it, I can't...
- One little, one little nibble.

Luke figured that Andy
was to get off to a new start.

He could sure use some
new clothes to go with it.

Thanks, Mr. Rhuebottom.

Hey Bo, is it my imagination
or does it look like

Andy's put on little weight
since we left Capital City.

Yeah, I'd say about...
two, three pounds.

Especially from the waist up.

- Andy.
- Hold up a minute.

Luke and me was
kinda wondering if..

Maybe you would want
to take off that shirt.

Why?

Bo was thinking you might
be a little hot under the collar.

- Uh, come on, boys.
- 'You little.'

You know, I must have
forgotten to take one off

every time I tried
another one on.

'Must have. Luke, I'm
telling you this kid would steal'

'your teeth and tell you,
you needed glasses.'

'He ain't gonna change over
the night. Give him a chance.'

Yeah but, he ain't gonna
change unless there's a week

with two Sundays in it, Luke.

Won't you two boys
ever agree on anything?

We do. We agree on a
lotta stuff. Stay out of this.

He's right. We've been at each
one's throats since he's around.

Well, that just proves he
ain't wrong about everything.

You got a point there.
Here, take that. Put it on.

'Then you gonna take these
to Rhuebottom's and apologize.'

Oh, come on,
Luke. Are you crazy?

It's like givin' Boss Hogg
key to the United States Mint

and sayin', watch
it for a while.

- You got a better idea?
- Yeah, I got a better idea.

- Why don't you take it?
- Why me?

Because somebody
has gotta watch the kid.

Oh.

- Well, watch him then.
- I will.

I'll watch the kid. Andy!

I swear you're more dang
trouble than you're worth.

Nice shirts.

Hey, hey, Donna.

You wait just a second
there, would you?

Uh..

You stay put now, you hear?

'Listen, I was
wondering if maybe'

'you and me could, go
out maybe this Friday night.'

Well, while Boss was
looking to start a crime wave.

Bo and Luke was trying to
prevent a two legged one.

A real one was cookin'
over in Capital City

that would eventually put
Boss and Andy and the Dukes

in more trouble
than a turtle crossing

Indianapolis speedway
on Memorial Day.

I'm gonna ask you to pause,
got a firearm trained on you.

Just walk right between
the two cars here.

Keep your g*ns pointed to the
ground. Make a right turn here.

I want you to take your
weapons, the money.

Toss it right in this car. Nice
and gently. That's real fine.

Throw that money and step aside.

Dang it.

A little low on that side.

- Well, sh**t.
- Tire's flat.

Oh, Lord, I hope we got
some air in that spare.

Yeah, me too.

Oh-h-h.

Luke, you can go right on ahead
defending Mr. Dillinger here.

'I think we oughta bring
him back to Capital City.'

Actually this kinda reminds
me of that night you got

a buttfull of rock salt over at
Mrs. Thompsons melon patch.

- When you was about his age.
- That's different.

Watermelons were
just laying on the ground.

Were these hubcaps
just layin' in the trunk?

It ain't no big deal. Come on.

Doesn't seem to me I ate
that watermelon all by myself?

Yeah, but...

Boy... you guys were
into some heavy stuff, huh.

You pipe down and
get back in the car.

Flash, keep a
sharp look out now.

We got to catch us some
suckers and make a few bucks.

Or else, Boss Hogg's gonna
waste away to a little fat nub.

I know it.

'Deputy Strate calling Sheriff.
Are you there? Come in.'

Enos, you dip stick. Will you
quit hollering on the airwaves.

You're gonna scare every
sucker away from your speed trap.

Now what is it? Come back.

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to disturb you, sir.

But we got some real crime
wave going on here in town.

Like what? Come back.

'Like at least half a dozen
cars with their hubcaps'

'stolen all in broad day light.'

Enos, good grief,
don't be pestering me

with such petty little things
like that. You take care of it.

Find the people that
are stealin' 'em hubcaps

if you have to search
every vehicle in the county.

Yes, sir. I'm sitting
right on it, sheriff.

Enos, what you're
sitting on is your brains.

You dip stick, now
quit hollering like that.

- Over and out.
- Yes, sir sheriff.

Oh, he didn't mean that.

You're first, ma'am.

Oh-h-h.

Flash, we got a live one.

'What the heck...

Oh, dang it. It's Rosco.
That's all we need right now.

We've been away too
long. You know things

in Hazzard never change.

'Oh! Oh, Oh.'

I'll tell you one thing, he
catches us with a trunk load of

hubcaps, we're gonna be away
from home for a couple of years.

That is if the judge
takes a likin' to our faces.

Hang on. We're
going cross country.

They think they can
get away from us, huh?

They got another thing coming.

- Rosco.
- Bo, what are you doing?

'Uh, uh..hang on, y'all.
We've got no choice.'

They were supposed to give
that boy some fresh country air.

How do you like it, son?

Woo-hoo!

Don't look. Don't look
darling. It's horrendous.

It's..

I know it's frightening.

Looks like Rosco is alright.

Yup, safe and sound on
the other side. Just like usual.

Hey, you suppose Flash
is used to his driving, yet?

Too bad she can't
drive. It'd be better off.

- Let's go.
- He can't drive either.

'No, wait. Don't
move a wrinkle.'

Hey, that was pretty good.

Thanks a lot. First nice
thing you said all day.

Told you, Bo. There's
hope for him yet.

J.D. Hogg here,
or what's left of him.

Who's this?

'I withdrew money from a
bank that I'd like to sell you.

Yeah? Well, listen, if that
bank ain't in the Hazzard County

I might be interested.

'What're you offering?'

cents on a dollar.

You got a hole in your
screen door, friend.

No way. Uh, tell
you what though.

I give you ten
cents on the dollar.

- Twenty five.
- 'Ten. I said ten.'

- Fifteen.
- 'Ten! Take it or leave it.'

Alright, alright. But
just cause I'm pressed

and I gotta make tracks fast.

Oh, good, good. Alright,
then. Where are you at now?

Uh, let's see, I'm
here at the bus stop

by Johnsons Creek Bridge.

Oh, you in that little
phone booth there?

Well, listen. You ain't
far from the Boar's Nest

which is where I'm at now.

So you just skedaddle over
here, and you get your money.

That's me at the door.

Uh?

Bye.

While Boss waited on his
latest crooked venture to begin

Bo and Luke kept a sharp eye up

while Andy put back
them hubcaps he'd swiped.

Oh, there's a cop down there.

'Oh, dang it. It's Enos.'

We only have one
set of hubcaps to go.

That's their car. I
ain't puttin' them on

with no cop lookin'
over my shoulder.

No problem. All we gotta do
is distract Enos for a minute

and then you can
slap them caps, alright?

- 'Yeah.'
- 'Let's go.'

- Trust us, come on.
- It'll work.

'Come on. Slow it
down. Slow it down.'

'Make it look like
we're running out.'

'You're really good at this.'

- Oh, I ain't believing this.
- Dang it, Luke.

You've just come off
the NASCAR circuit

and you can't tell if the
car is running out of gas.

Enos. Listen, would
you do us a favor?

You help us push this car
to Cooter's for some gas?

Golly, Bo, I'd be happy to

but I'm right in the middle
of this stolen hubcap report.

Come on, Enos. It'll
only take a minute.

Besides, you don't want
us blocking up traffic here.

- Come on.
- You got a point there, Luke.

Uh, you mind pitching
in, Mr. Howard?

Give it a push now.
I'll navigate here.

Bo Duke, get your
lazy butt out of this car.

Alright, alright.

'Sure do appreciate
your help, Enos.'

- 'So you run outta gas, eh?'
- Yeah, we sure did run out.

You'd think he'd know better.

- Alright - Thanks a lot, Enos.

- Appreciate the helping hand.
- See you later.

- Give my best to Daisy.
- Yes, sir. We sure will.

Come on, get on in there.

You went into Mr. Rhuebottom's
place, and you came out..

Oh, hell. They
sure did fill up fast.

Now, about this missing..

What the hell!

Them hubcaps have
returned to the same car

all by themselves, Mr. Howard.

Is that your hubcaps?
What in the world?

Alright, look's
like it all there.

Alright, we said
cents on the dollar.

- How's that look to you?
- So cool.

Alright.

'You guys sure blew it.'

'You know what them hubcaps
bring in today's market?'

'If you'd asked, I
would've cut you in.'

Are you listening to this kid?

He ain't ever gonna change.

He just ain't never
gonna change.

Bo, you gotta learn
a little patience.

For some folks, it takes longer
to find the right road in life.

Luke, I know all about that.

I spent a year on the circuit
too, and I learned one thing.

The road to damnation is
chock full of good intentions.

What are you guys,
preachers or something?

No, we ain't preachers,
but our Uncle Jesse

brought us up by the good book
with common sense on the side.

A little bit of which
you could use.

Whole lot of, if you ask me.

Bad news, bad news.

- Good news, good news.
- Good news? What?

Rosco, did I make a
deal or did I make a deal?

- Did you make a deal?
- Yeah, look.

Fifty Thousand simoleons I
got me at cents on the dollar.

Oh-h, that's good. I
bet that money is hot.

Don't you touch
it. You'll find out.

Listen, Boss. With that money
hotter that a two dollar p*stol

by the time it cools down, you
won't get anything on a dollar.

Only, I ain't waitin'
for it to cool down.

- You ain't?
- Uh-huh.

I'm fixing to fence it off to
Barney Benson tomorrow

at cents on the dollar.

Which'll give me double my
money back, and then some.

Oh, you rascal..

Listen, I tell you, Boss. You
are slicker than a boiled onion.

Rosco, you just
said the magic word.

- What, "slicker?"
- No. Food! Food, yeah.

Oh, I'm getting my
appetite back again.

Listen, I want you to
run down to the Dixie Deli

and get me three
corned-beef sandwiches.

- Three corned-beef sandwiches.
- All fat.

- All f-f-fat?
- Yeah.

Wait a minute. Make that
six corned-beef sandwiches.

That gives me the queasies.

- No, make it a dozen!
- A dozen? Ohh..

Boss was back in business.

While at the Duke
farm, big brothers Duke

was explaining
to Jesse and Daisy

why Andy had made them
two hours late for lunch.

The beans were cold.

Tell me this. How come
a young man like you

wants to take to stealing?

How else do you expect
me to get anything?

You could try working
for what you want, Andy.

I don't know no trade no ones
ever seen fit to teach me one.

Well, we could teach you how
to work right here on this farm.

Work?

Work's for suckers with
strong backs and weak minds.

'Oh, is that so?'

Sure takes a lot of
brains to point a g*n

at somebody or to go out

and steal somebody
else's property, now don't it?

- Bo.
- Hmm?

Excuse me, Uncle Jesse.

Our Father, we thank
thee for this bounteous table

you have set before us

and for sending Andy
to share it with us. Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

You know, Andy, out
on the circuit this last year

we saw kids who didn't even
start out with what you got.

But they worked their way up.

Tell you what.

We'll teach you trade on how
to work right here on this farm

and pay you cents an hour.

'What do you think of that?'

I don't know.

Forget it, Uncle Jesse,
I don't think this guy

is man enough to
do a real man's job.

Hey, I can do anything
these two guys can do.

- 'Oh, yeah?'
- 'Oh, yeah.'

Well, we'll give you a
chance to prove that, bub.

Can I have a pork chop?

What do you say?

Please.

Well, while the Dukes were
trying to take the first steps

to teach Andy to
earn an honest dollar

that armored car robber
was finding crime didn't pay.

Even though the F.B.I. only
found cents on the dollar

and the gas receipt from
the Hazzard Service Station.

Uh-huh, circumstances and
fate are closing in, ain't they?

It sure looks good. At last.

J.D. Hogg speaking.

- Sheriff Coltrane.
- That's for me.

I'm the county commissioner.
What do you want?

That's for me.

- The F.B.I.?
- That's for you.

When Boss and
Rosco, heard the F.B.I.

had that armed car
robber in custody

and suspected that the bigger
share of the stolen money

was spent somewhere in Hazzard

Boss lost his appetite
for a whole week

in one mighty gulp.

They're coming to
Hazzard to search

for all that money I bought.

That's a shame.

If they find it here,
I'm a cooked goose.

Andy was getting the hang
of things around the farm.

Now just, just pull down
on these things, huh?

Andy, I want you to get a firm
hold and come down gently.

Like this?

- 'Ah!'
- Whow.

- Sorry.
- Andy.

Good morning.

'Oh, sorry.'

You don't know
how to run this thing.

Andy, slow. What are you..

Andy. Andy!

- Hey, hold on.
- Wait..

What are you doing?

Get off of there. Come on.

You're doing pretty good there.

In no time at all,
Andy was getting

right handy around the farm.

Okay, you're doing great.

You put the saddle
on nice and tight.

Don't wanna return this horse

with any saddle sores on.

I guess not.

Sure is beautiful, though.

You... think maybe
I can ride him?

No, Andy, you can't ride him.

At least, not till
he's well broke.

The old tramp's just a
little bit headstrong here.

I bet I can handle him.

Well, don't you
go trying it, alright?

This horse'll drop
you like a dirty shirt.

'Bo, give me a hand.'

Hold on, just a second.

Put this up there
through the keeper

and make sure it's tight.

What the heck you make of that?

- Look at that.
- Looks burnt to me.

But why is it doing it?

- I don't know.
- Oh, Lord.

Damn kid. Hang on.

Luke, I told Andy
not to do that.

Look out, Bo.

Andy will probably make it.

I'm still surprised Bo and
Luke could ride anything

that didn't burn gas and rubber.

I'm gonna rope
him. You pick him up.

Alright.

Alright!

Come here.

- Whoa, whoa.
- Come here.

While Bo and Luke were
busy saving the Andy's bacon..

Boss was busy
trying to save his own

by hiding that hot
cash he's holding.

Here, move this board.

I'm gonna put that
money right in there, see?

I don't think anybody would
go lookin' for it here, do you?

- No.
- No. Well.

Soon as Barney arrives,
we'll come out here and fetch it.

Well, if you want to
stash a bag full of money

I guess an old steel site
ain't a bad place to hide it.

He'll get there,
alright. You just watch.

Luke, I'd like to see
him turn around too

but, sh**t, we been trying,
we ain't making no headways.

Once somebody's ba..

This firewood ought
to last the night.

Listen, uh, fellas.

'I appreciate what
you did this afternoon.'

'I know you could have got
hurt coming after me and all.'

Well... what I mean is..

What I want to say is..

Thanks, and..

You know..

It wouldn't surprise me
that ain't the first time

in his whole life he ever got
up enough gumption to say

"thank you."

He dang near choked
trying to get the words out.

The thing is, he got him out.

So if ya'll were wondering if
he were making any headway

I think you've got some
points on the board.

Meanwhile, Boss was negotiating

to sell that hot cash
with Bad Barney

who was so crooked, he
made Boss seem straight.

Mr. Hogg, sold or stuck?

The FBI ought to be rolling
into Hazzard any minute now.

Oh-h. My back's to the wall.

Yeah, see his front
won't fit. He just...

Oh, just zip up.

Listen here, Barney.

Couldn't you just see a way to
give me cents on the dollar?

Fourteen.

- Thirteen?
- 'Twelve.'

- Eleven?
- Ten.

Wait a minute. He's
already offering .

Would you just stop
interfering in everything like this?

Come on, let's go get the money.

You got the IQ of a watermelon..

With seeds for brains.

Well, that scuffed my pride.

Barney, come on, let's go.

We'll get the money
where I stashed it.

I'm gonna go wash
Flash. Don't you slam that.

As soon as I finish
stacking this wood

I'll be finished with
my chores, Mr. Duke.

Don't you think it's about time
you called me Uncle Jesse?

I never had no uncle before.

Well, you've got one now.

That's good.

You suppose I'd get paid
for the work I've done so far?

Well, sure. But..

I mean, don't you
trust me till Friday?

- Oh, it ain't that.
- Oh, what is it then?

Uh, there ain't no place to
spend it here on the farm.

I sorta hoped I could
borrow your pick-up

and ride into town
for an hour or so.

My pick-up?

Unless, uh, you don't trust me.

Sure, I trust you.

I trust you, but, now listen,
you be sure you're back here

by lunch time, 'cause Bo
and Luke's gonna take you

fishing right afterwards.

I'll be back in time.

I'll, uh... finish
stacking this for you.

'Thanks. I'll see you later.'

Uncle Jesse, is we seeing things

or was that Andy in the pick-up?

Yeah, you saw right. That was
Andy, he's taking the pick-up

into Hazzard. But he'll
be back in time for lunch

'cause he wants to go fishing.

Guess we had to put
him to the test sometime.

I kinda think we all had to
be put to the test sometime.

'Uncle Jesse?'

Uncle Jesse, our
little baby goat's gone.

And I've turned this place
upside down looking for him.

He could be anywhere
in this whole county.

Why don't you and
Daisy check to back forty?

'We'll check the road
on the way to town.'

Alright.

- Reckon he's been kidnapped?
- Dang thing..

Now, in case you're
wondering what Andy was up to

believe it or not, it was
something good for a change.

Like wanting to pick up a token
of appreciation for the Dukes

for all that they've
been doing for him.

Now, as for Boss,
well, he was following

his lifetime vocation..

Up to no good.

And, as for that baby billy goat

well, he's about
to strike it rich.

Hey.

What are you doing
here, little baby billy goat?

Come here.

What you doing so
far from home, huh?

Come here. There
be nothin' scared of.

Oh, man.

Hey, little billy goat,
what've we got here?

Let's get outta here.

Heads up, goat.

Holy cow, we got us
a bag full of money!

Billy goat, we're rich.

Now, as old Boss and
Barney reached one crossroad

Andy had reached another.

All that money
was sure tempting.

It could buy him
anything he wanted

anywhere he wanted.

And with Jesse's pick-up

he knew he had the wheels to get

before anyone would
know where he was heading.

Of course, he'd letting
the Dukes down if he did.

Still... all that money,
mighty tempting.

'Wait, was that Jesse Duke?'

'Huh?'

Well, that was Jesse Duke's
truck moving over yonder.

Ah, never mind about
that. Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, these boards
wasn't here when I left it.

Where is it?

It's gone.

The money, the bag that I
had the money in is gone.

Hogg, what are
you trying to pull?

Money goes, but not by
itself. Not unless it grew legs.

I ain't pulling nothing.

What about that pick-up
we just seen pull away?

Oh, Jesse Duke?
No, he ain't no thief.

Of course, this is his site.
He might have stumbled on it.

There's only one
way to find out.

I don't believe in
finders keepers.

We got to find
that pick-up. Yeah.

Alright, wait a minute.
Alright, wait for me.

Wait minute. Wait a minute.

Hold everything. Wait
up. Alright, I'm here.

Any luck?

No sign of that
baby goat anywhere.

And we bounced up and down
every ravine on this here farm.

We covered half the county.

And no sign of Andy neither.

I think we oughta start
looking for him next.

You know, that boy promised me.

For how much as I hate to say
it, he's made promises before.

That was before Uncle Jesse
said we trusted him, Luke.

When you're raised on
the streets like Andy was

fighting is almost
a way of life.

But the fight Andy was having
was the toughest one of all.

Fighting himself.

What are we gonna
do little billy goat?

What are we going to do?

Look, Daisy, I've been
hopin' against hope

that Andy would straighten out.

Yeah, I have too. sh**t,
he almost convinced me.

'You know, I wished you two
could hear yourselves talk.'

Seems like ever since you
went on that NASCAR circuit

visit all 'em big cities here
and all of them fancy folks talk

you're kinda spoiled on people.

I got to tell you, sounded
downright cynical, fellas.

'Luke, Bo, can you hear me?'

I hear ya.

'Come on, Andy.'

Daisy, I've found
the baby billy goat.

You did? Good boy!

- 'I found something else too.'
- 'What's that?'

'A bag full of money
buried near an old still.'

I answer that question.

Andy, bring that on home.

Then, we'll figure out
who it belongs to, okay?

Not if we get him first.

I'll be there in a
little while. Ten-four.

Okay, boy.

Get out of that pick-up,
bring that bag over here.

Right now!

Alright, what do you boys
think of yourselves now, huh?

sh**t, I'm downright
embarrassed.

Don't look at me.

I said to Luke when I saw that
young man, now there's a fine...

I was wrong, I'm sorry.
It's happened before.

Let's get out of here.

'Luke, Bo, can you hear me?'

'Some guys pulled a g*n
and asked for the money.'

Where you at, Andy?

Last sign I saw said,
"Green Apple Road."

They're right on my tail.

'Hang in there.
We're on our way'

'Okay.'

Andy, we're on our
way. We're on the road.

Sure hope now that Andy's
back on the right track

it don't turn out
to be the last mile.

Hold it a minute, Barney. I
don't want no sh**ting here.

'No, I don't want no
sh**ting, Barney.'

Ah!

'Barney! Hold on, hold on.'

'I don't want no sh**ting here.'

Barney, Barney, don't sh**t.

Look, cut all this out
and I'll tell you what.

I'll give you back every dime
you'd gotten from this deal.

No dice. A deal's a
deal. That money's mine.

If you've got no stomach for
getting it back, start walking.

- I don't...
- Now!

Alright. Alight, I'm going.

Listen, you better
think about it.

Now, wait a minute.

You just ain't dealing
with anybody, this is..

Wait a minute. Wait
a minute, Barney.

Barney!

'Andy? Andy, you alright?'

Yeah, so far. I lost
him a way back.

But I don't figure he's
gonna give up too easy now.

Well, listen, you oughta
be coming right up on..

On Wilson Corners.

Take a dirt road to the left
and just hide out in the woods.

We'll be right over in
about ten minutes, okay?

You got it.

Trouble was, Barney
was all ears himself

and heard exactly
where Andy was heading.

And Barney wasn't
minutes away.

Bo? Luke?

You better give Rosco
and Enos a holler.

If them fellas got g*ns,
they might need your help.

Rosco? Enos? You
got your ears on?

'This is Bo Duke calling
the sheriff. Come back.'

This here's Deputy Strate,
right back at you, Bo.

What can I do for you?

Listen, Enos, we're gonna
need you and Rosco's help.

That's what the Sheriff's
Department's for, Bo.

Listen, En..

Enos. Enos, listen here.

I'm Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane

and I say what
goes on around here.

You don't help those Dukes
unless I say so. Come back.

For Pete's sake, Rosco. Would
you listen to me for one second?

As Bo told Rosco and Enos about
Andy finding that bag of money

those two F.B.I. agents headed
for Hazzard was listening too.

'He's in Uncle
Jesse's pick-up truck'

'being followed by a brown van'

'and there's two guys
in there sh**t' at him.'

Enos, there you are. Listen.
Come here. Listen to me, now.

'Dang it, Rosco.
That ain't no trick.'

'Them fellas got g*ns and
that boy's life can be in danger.'

Rosco, this is J.D.
Hogg speaking.

Listen, Jesse Duke
is telling you the truth.

But, but, but..

'Don't but me no
but, you button-head.'

Look, just get your
butt into your patrol car

and roll, roll, roll.

- Come on, come on.
- Yes, sir.

Hey, listen, Boss. Listen,
we told Andy to go out

and hide out in the woods
just west of Wilson Corners.

Well, Andy got himself
into the woods, alright.

But getting out of them
woods was another thing.

Alright, kid.

Now, no funny stuff this time.

'Now climb out of
there with that bag.'

'Hey, Andy.'

Andy, this is Bo
Duke. You read me?

Listen, Bo.

Maybe, they knocked out his CB.

We just gotta find him.

- Sure hope Daisy's right.
- Yeah, I do too.

I owe that boy an apology.

You got the money.
What do you need me for?

Wise up, kid.

You're a witness. I
never leave them behind.

'Brown van? It's gotta
be the same one.'

'They could've
overheard us on the CB.'

Hang tight.

'I bet General's next oil
change, Andy's in that van.'

'sh**t, that's one
bet I hope I lose.'

Look, look, look.

Oh!

Sure hope everybody's
buckled up real tight.

Now, if you're
wondering how everybody

happened to end
up on the same road

there ain't but one way
to get there from here.

Or wherever. You'll
got that, didn't you?

- Don't lose him, now.
- Ain't worried about that.

It's how to get that van
stopped without hurting anybody.

Hey, hey, I got an idea.

- You're kidding.
- No, really.

If you can slow that van down,
I can get on that engine and..

And get you close enough
to get on that ladder.

Hey, you read my mind.

If that's what you call
it, with an idea like that.

Very funny.

Daisy, this here is Bo.

I think it's about time
we listen to some..

- What is it?
- Country music.

'...to some country music.'

Country music is Dukes' code
for switching to channel .

- Hey, Daisy, you read me?
- Loud and clear.

'See if you can't get that
van to slow down, alright?'

I'm sure gonna
give it a try, honey.

Do it nice and easy, now.

Don't worry about
that. You just be careful.

He did it nearly
as good as I would.

- Is he alright, Uncle Jesse?
- Yeah.

- Good job, Andy.
- Way to go, man. Thanks a lot.

Any time.

Who-hoo!

- Luke.
- Yeah, I'm coming.

Here we go. Get
him out of there.

Get on out..

'I'm gonna get my money.'

'I'm gonna get my
money from that fella.'

Alright. You just
freeze it. Freeze, freeze.

Sometimes, folks get
off on the wrong foot.

But remember, many
a bad start can wind up

with a happy ending

as it did for Andy
and the Dukes.

Of course, it didn't end
up that way for old Barney.

You guys are really
something, all of you.

Ah, sh**t, what are
big brothers for, huh?

And sisters.

Oh, honey. That's
what family's for.

Hey, give me a
pen so I can sign up.

Listen, If you're gonna
sign up for anything

it's gonna be at the farm.

- 'Now, let's get going.'
- Alright.

Boss, you're looking puny.
Now have one of them.

Boss lost his investment
and his appetite again

when he learned he
wasn't getting a share

of the armored car
company's reward money.

You'll fade to a
mess of fat nothing.

Hey, Andy..

Y'all might be surprised to
see who did get the reward.

For you.

It's a $ reward check.

Woo-ee, that's a lot of
money for a young fella.

Sure can buy you a
whole lot of things, Andy.

Sure could.

It can't buy what you've given
me. Especially you, Bo and Luke.

'I only wish there was
some way to repay you.'

Oh, well, there is.

sh**t, I saw this hat on
you the first time I met you.

- No, I had my eye on it.
- Hey, that hat's mine.

You guys, you guys get this.

- We can't do that.
- 'To give to the orphanage.'

Maybe, some other kid
will get as lucky as I did.

Umm..

I tell you what. We'll
drive you on down there

and you can give it to
the orphanage yourself.

- Better yet, you drive.
- That sounds real good to me.

- Come on.
- Hey, Daisy. This is for you.

Yep, Andy gave the reward money

to underprivileged kids like him

so they could meet folks
like the Dukes of Hazzard.

Now, that ain't half bad.