05x21 - Farewell, Hazzard

[bunniefuu]

Hazzard County is usually
different from most places.

But in one way it's
like every place else.

Getting the bills paid all
time is tighter than a fat pig

squeezing through a rat hole.

And resting there against
Uncle Jesse's warm heart

is the farm mortgage payment.

It is due at Boss Hogg's
office at noon sharp.

There's that car we're
supposed to stop.

Yeah, it's got the
flag right on top.

- Where'd that come from?
- Look out!

- Everybody all right?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Come back here, you turkey.

- We could have been k*lled.
- Oh, boy.

Who the heck was
in that chopper?

You smell something, Luke?

Yeah, you better
check underneath.

- Oh, dang it.
- Oh, bad news.

- What you got?
- Cracked oil pan.

Don't nobody panic, Daisy,
get on the CB to Cooter

and have him get out here.
We'll see if we can do it.

- Have him bring some oil.
- Yeah.

If J.D. forecloses because we're
late like he always threatened.

We'll have to lose that
dang farm over that whirligig...

Meanwhile them two crazies
in that flying butter churn

landed at an abandoned barn

that they was
using for a hideout.

What do you reckon
they're hiding from?

Get me L.S. Pritchard.

Hi, chief. Mission accomplished.

Just ran that orange
car off the road

like Commissioner
Hogg asked us to.

You're right, L.S.,
anything you want.

A check. We got our
testing results right here.

The last eight earth core
samples were all positive.

Now, what's that all about?

And how does all
this tie in with Boss?

And I'm worried
about the mortgage.

And we just got started.

- Four minutes to .
- Oh, Uncle Jesse.

Who's that?

'Cooter ain't never
let us down before.'

- That's him.
- It's Cooter.

- Cooter.
- Cooter.

On my way back from Capitol
City picking up Doc Peterson's car.

This ain't the General
Lee but I'll give it a sh*t.

- Alright.
- Go for it.

'Sheriff, do you know where
I can find a junior lawman?'

- No, I have no idea...
- This little buddy of mine...

'Ya..'

- What was that?
- I dunno.

That was Mr. Hogg.
Mr. Hogg, you alright?

Well, come on.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- Mr. Hogg, you got hair.
- Yeah.

And that ain't all I got.

- You got dandruff?
- Huh? No, no, no.

- I got me the Duke farm.
- Oh.

Look, look, look.
It's past noon

and they ain't come in with
their mortgage money yet.

So I'm foreclosing
and taking over.

You know, I'm sorta
getting used to that hair.

Makes you look, maybe
a year, two years younger.

- A year or two younger?
- Yeah.

Oh, that won't do at all.

I gotta look at least
years younger.

Yeah, let me try
this one. How's that?

- Well, it's fuzzy.
- It is fuzzy, sir.

Listen, why are you
putting those things on?

Because I'm about to
take my rightful place

among the jet-setters.

Take a gander at this check.

Possum on a gum bush.
It says for a million dollars.

- A million dollars.
- Made out to J.D. Hogg.

Care of the Fund
For New Hazzard.

Yeah and take a
gander at who signed it.

- L.S. Pritchard.
- Yeah, L.S. Pritchard.

The famous Dallas zillionaire

who travels all over the
world making them big deals.

Big deals!

- You heard of him, ain't ya?
- No, sir, I haven't.

Alright. Well, L.S. Pritchard's
gonna be my new partner.

- I thought I was your partner.
- Forget it.

- Oh!
- I'm in the big time now.

That's why I gotta look
good. Let me see how this...

Oh, my, that won't do at
all. I gotta find another one.

Listen, let me
explain it to you.

L.S. Pritchard sent
his executive assistant

clear from Dallas down
here to close a deal.

Now, he wants me to
buy up all the farmland

round here for top dollar

so that he can redevelop it all
as the community of the future.

- Namely, the New Hazzard.
- What?

Let me take a look.

You know, I hate to say this
but I like the old Hazzard better.

- You do?
- Yes.

I like the fact that
I was your partner

and I got percent
of your percent.

I like the fact that my,
fat buddy was bald.

- Stop that, will you?
- Well...

I like the hair. I gotta
find me a different one.

If you foreclose on the
Dukes, where will they live?

Well, that's their
problem, this is progress.

And now that I own the Duke farm

I'm gonna sell it
to L.S. Pritchard

and then them
troublemaking Dukes

won't be around
to stand in our way.

The Dukes farm.

Signed, sealed and delivered.

Hey, J.D!

Here you go. We
got your mortgage.

- What?
- What in the world?

Oh, Boss, you can't be
serious about that wig.

Your dang right,
I'm serious about it.

Just like I'm serious
about not taking

one red cent of that money
on account of you're late.

Too bad Jesse,
you blew it this time.

At last, I'm finally
foreclosing on your farm.

Hold on, you can't do that.
We had an accident on our way.

That's right a helicopter
run us off the road.

We got the money
and you gotta take it.

No, I don't. Read your mortgage.

Says loud and clear,
"Payment due by noon

or you forfeit your farm."

Alright? Here's
your eviction notice.

'Now, I want you
off of that farm'

lock, stock and
barrel in three hours.

Three hours? Oh, come
on, Boss, you're crazy.

- We can't do that.
- Get real, Boss.

You can't push us out
like that, it ain't human.

Oh, yes, I can. Just
read the small print.

- Now, get out of here.
- I ain't got my glasses.

Hey. Hey, look at this.

"Hurry, hurry. Neighbors
help redevelop New Hazzard.

"The community of the future.

"J.D. Hogg is buying up
all the farmland at top dollar

for his new partner
L.S. Pritchard of Dallas."

That's why he's so hot to
get his hands on our farm.

He wants to resell it to that
Pritchard for top dollar, huh?

- Well, so what?
- I'll tell you so what.

We ain't moving.

You can't make us
leave our farm, Boss.

This is what we think of
your eviction notice right here.

- Yeah, how do you like that?
- You tore up a legal document.

That's a criminal offense.

Not half as criminal as
what you're doing to us.

Now, just hold it.

I think the law is on his side
and we gotta abide by the law.

Now, then, Rosco's gonna be
out at your farm in three hours

and if you ain't ready to go
by then, he'll toss you out.

Now, get, you Dukes.
Before I run you in as vagrants.

The Dukes vagrants?

I'll... vagrant you.
You numb ninny.

Come on, boys.

Well, I'm telling you, Boss
has pulled some mean

and low-down and rotten
and dirty tricks in his life.

But I do believe that
this is the bottom.

Uncle Jesse, are we really
gonna have to leave our farm?

Looks like, honey.
Haven't got much choice.

J.D.'s holding all the cards.

He wouldn't be holding it if
it weren't for that helicopter.

Yeah, who in the heck
does that belong to?

It almost seems that
helicopter forced us off the road

so we wouldn't
make it into town.

Hey. I bet if we prove
that Boss Hogg's involved

in this we can
get our farm back.

- I bet you're right.
- First things first.

Let's get the General hopping.

Well, in no time at all,
old Cooter and the boys

had the General Lee
back in fighting shape.

The Dukes headed for the
farm to figure out how to save it.

You know, a man
always fights better

to save the land he lives on.

It's that chopper.

They just set off an expl*si*n.

- Go get them, boys.
- Yes, sir.

Hey, hold it.

It's them rubes in
that orange car again.

Let's get out of here.

- Hey, wait a minute!
- Hey, y'all come back here!

- Dang it.
- Oh, sh**t.

Alright, Daisy.
There's no chance.

Look out! Hey, wait a
minute. Wait a minute!

Now, I don't mind cars
flying through the air.

Or the Dukes facing
down a g*n barrel.

But I don't like it when
anything happens to Daisy.

- 'Man, she's out like a light"
- 'Daisy? Alright, darling?

- What happened?'
- She hit her head on that rock.

Can you sit up?

- There she is.
- There she comes.

- There you are.
- There you are.

Come on, dear. That's the way.

Dadgum it. That's
the second time.

What have they got against us?

I wish I could have got my
hands on that big guy, you know?

I got a pretty good look at
the ID number, it's N B.

If we call in the FAA we may
be able to find out who owns it.

- We can have a talk, right?
- You got it.

We're gonna take
her by a doctor first.

- Alright.
- Can you get up?

- Come on.
- Come on, it'll be alright.

The Dukes called all
the airports to see if

a chopper had
come down to gas up.

Nothing. Then they called
the FAA in Washington.

Again, nothing.

But then what can
you expect on Monday?

I can't think of anybody else.

We just ain't getting closer
to finding that dang helicopter.

Well, we got two hours
before we're evicted.

Well, I guess we might
as well start packing.

Thing is... where do you start?

Kinda hard to say.

Y'all, this is just
too hard to swallow.

sh**t, I can't remember
living anywhere but here.

Five generations of
Dukes lived in this house.

All of our roots are here.

Uncle Jesse, we can't go.
Where are we gonna go to?

Well, I thought I might call
Ben Whately over at Hatchapee.

He's got a couple of
farms he lets out on shares

maybe we could do
some sharecropping.

Let's pack, huh?

Well, I may be packing
but I ain't giving up.

No. Not without a fight.

While the boys
were looking to fight

Jesse was looking at
a lifetime of memories.

Meanwhile, Boss was
in a state as he got a call

that L.S. Pritchard was
arriving in Hazzard in person.

Well, it's about time you
two knuckleheads got here.

We came soon as you
radioed us, Mr. Hogg.

Yeah, what's the big
emergency anyway?

Alright, I'll tell you what.

L.S. Pritchard, my new partner,
is about to arrive in Hazzard

in just one half.. What
are you looking at?

- Well, it's just...
- Just pay attention here.

I wanna give L.S.
Pritchard a royal reception.

I want a red carpet, a key to
the city, the works. Come here.

- Now, look at this. You hear?
- Yeah, I'm looking at that.

Tell me, which one of these
two toupees you like the best?

Do you like that wig better?
Or do you like this one better?

Oh, I-I-I like the
blond one, sir.

Will you hush. I
make these decisions.

- You want my honest opinion?
- Yeah.

I don't like either one of them,
I like your little chrome dome

when it's bald like a
little baby's bottom.

And I also like it
when I am your partner.

Would you just stop doing
that. Stop sentimentalizing.

- Well...
- Just get out of here.

Get this place cleaned up.

I want it to sparkle
for L.S. Pritchard.

- I'll do the sweeping.
- Go on. Go on.

He looks like
Dracula, doesn't he?

'He sure does.'

Well, how do you
do? I'm J.D. Hogg.

One of the jet-setters.

While the rest of the
Dukes were packing

Jesse was talking to his
friend from Hatchapee County.

Thank you.

Ben Whately says he's got
acres south of Hatchapee.

We can move in
anytime we want to.

I still can't believe
we're leaving.

I ain't never lived
anywhere but Hazzard.

Dukes of Hatchapee.

Somehow that just
don't sound right.

Sure don't.

An hour and a half.

Sure don't seem like
much time to... pack up

a lifetime of memories.

I was born in this house.

I brought your
Aunt Lavinia here.

And she d*ed here.

Hour and a half
just don't seem right.

Yeah.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

Your Majesty, I just arrived
here from Monte Carlo

in my private jet.

Such a bore.

Oh, good afternoon,
sheik, old buddy.

Keep your oil running.

Count. Countess.
Oh, this hair's perfect.

I'm really gonna blend
in with the jet stream.

Oh, no. L.S. Pritchard's here.

He's come early. Rosco!

Rosco! Enos!

- He's here.
- Who?

- L.S. Pritchard.
- Oh, Pritchard.

- Oh, wait a minute.
- Key to the city..

- Get out the red carpet!
- Come on, Enos.

Oh... oh... hm..

Hi, dude.

I'm Commissioner J.D. Hogg.

Commissioner Hogg,
may I present to you

the president of
Pritchard Industries..

L.S. Pritchard.

Mm-hmm... welcome to the
biggest little city in the South

Mr. Pri-pri-pri...
Wait a minute. What?

You're L.S. Pritchard?

- Yeah, but you're ah-ah...
- Yes, I am. Commissioner Hogg?

Oh, here, Boss.
Here's your red carpet.

Oh, muffin... he just..

- Where's my hair?
- Boss, Boss, it's on backwards.

That's better. Coifed
your coiffure there.

Excuse my sheriff's
department, a little overeager.

- 'Alright, the key.'
- 'Oh, the key.'

- Here's your key.
- There we are.

Allow me to present to
you the key to our fair city.

Miss? Miss?

As long as we're
partners, commissioner

why don't you call me L.S.

Oh, I'd love to do
that. Here you are, L.S.

And you can just call me... J.D.

- Let's get to business, J.D.
- 'I'd like to do that.'

How are the purchases coming
for my community of the future?

Oh, we're really
starting to roll, L.S.

I've already bought up
six farms, repossessed one

and foreclosed on two.

- Including the Duke place.
- Yeah.

I wanna thank you for your help.

The Dukes are troublemakers.
We had to get rid of them first.

Yes. Well, hurry it up.

I wanna complete my buy of
Hazzard as soon as possible.

Mm-hmm.

- Meantime, I wanna look around.
- Alright, you do that.

And take off that hairpiece.
You look ridiculous.

You know, Daisy, you
were just six years old

when you came to this house.

I remember you come running
through that kitchen door

your pigtails are flying,
and "Uncle Jesse," you said.

Uncle Jesse, I remember that
first time you gave me a hug

your beard tickled so much.

- You know what? It still does.
- Aw.

And you fellas, you were just
little tykes when you came here.

We used to keep
track of your height

right there on that doorjamb.

- I remember that.
- You still got marks here.

Look at that.

Always thought I was
gonna be bigger than you, too.

I guess a home is
more than the house.

It's the people that live in it.

- Ain't that what you told us?
- Yep.

And love is a whole lot more
than a bunch of old shingles

or two-by-fours or little
notches like that on the wall.

It's Rosco.

Uncle Jesse, me and
Bo are gonna stay behind.

You and Daisy go ahead.

'We gotta figure out
who's behind this.'

Can't take it lying
down, can we?

No, guess not. Well,
we gotta talk to Rosco.

- Come on.
- Alright.

Alright, you Dukes. Come on out.

Time. Yep. It is definitely..

'All our tests show
the same results.'

Hazzard area is just loaded
with high-density coal deposits

close to the surface.
Perfect for strip mining.

Terrific.

Once I finish
buying up all the land

we'll bring in the bulldozers
and the mining crews

and get to work.

And is that dummy Hogg
gonna be in for a big surprise.

Come on. Let's go.

Meanwhile, word had spread
that Boss was buying up land

for L.S. Pritchard
at double its value.

And folks was lining up to sell.

Oh, good grief.
Alright, you two Dukes.

Now just turn around
and get on out of here.

Now, you gotta leave.

Rosco, we ain't going
nowhere till you investigate.

We was run off the road
this morning by a helicopter.

Now, Boss told me that
that story about a helicopter

is a bunch of hogwash.

It ain't no hogwash, it
ain't lies, it's the truth.

We lost our farm
because of that helicopter.

We want you to find
out who it belongs to.

- Well...
- I should've expected this.

Them are them
troublemaking Dukes.

It was a bad day in Hazzard
when you boys came back here.

Alright, Rosco. There's
the door, just throw 'em out.

Oh, it's you, L.S.
There's a surprise.

Wait-wait. Quiet, everybody.

I wanna introduce
you to my new partner..

L.S. Pritchard of Dallas.

- That's L.S. Pritchard?
- I guess so.

- What's the problem, J.D.?
- Oh, it's them Duke boys.

Introduce us.

Oh, alright. Well, Bo and
Luke Duke, L.S. Pritchard.

How do you do, ma'am?

- I'm Rosco.
- Take off your hat, Rosco.

Sorry about your farm.

It'd still be ours if we'd
made that payment.

If that helicopter
didn't run us off.

Oh, there you go again.

We ain't too dang thrilled
about all this talk of New Hazzard

and this redeveloping business.

Folks, just don't listen to
them. They're troublemakers.

Besides, they don't live
here, they live in Hatchapee.

We wouldn't have lost our
farm if it wasn't for that chopper

and for us being set up.

We gonna find out
who's at the bottom of this.

Rosco, just don't
stand there like a statue.

You too, Enos. Throw 'em out.
They're disturbing the peace.

Gettin' angry. I
like that in a man.

Yeah.

Good riddance.

So those are the Duke
boys you were worried about?

You know why I was worried?

Because they're our leading
do-gooders around here.

I figured if they lost the farm
and had to get out of Hazzard

the rest of the town
would be a pushover.

Yeah, well, we can't
have them making waves.

Either you take care
of them or... I will.

Helicopters, limousines
and L.S. Pritchard.

All in Hazzard in the same day?

Same day we lose our farm.

Not only us, but a bunch
of other folks like us.

There's gotta be some
kind of connection.

Why do you think
that she's in town

buying up this whole
place for such high prices?

That's what we gotta find out.

You go out to Pruitt's pasture
where they're dynamiting.

- See if you can find something.
- What are you gonna do?

Well, I'm gonna go
straight to the source.

It's a lousy job, but..

Somebody's gotta do it.

Be careful.

Take a stroll.

I'm gonna do a number
on that hunk of country boy.

You bet.

Excuse me, ma'am.

I'd like to apologize
for that ruckus up there.

How about sitting with me a
bit and having a chat about it?

Alright.

Now, tell me, sugar.
What is it you don't like

about my redeveloping Hazzard?

'Look, it's one of them yokels.'

He found the drill
bit we dropped.

It could give us away.
We better get it back.

We'll take that
little item, friend.

Yes, sir.

- So, I'll be going.
- Hey, just a second.

We got something we
wanna talk to you about.

That fella talks
rough, don't he?

This one's for Daisy.

Let's go.

I don't believe I'd
be going after old Bo.

Go. We gotta stop him.
He knows too much.

Come on, General, you can do it.

Whoo!

'No way we can make it.'

sh**t, them boys don't
know nothing about flying.

L.S. sure ain't gonna
be happy about this.

So you see, sugar, you don't
have anything to fret about.

By the time I get done
redeveloping New Hazzard

it's gonna be the loveliest
little old place in the South.

Well, you tell it
mighty nice, ma'am.

Why don't you
make that Lisa Sue?

Sounds less formal.

I love a man with a strong jaw.

Thank you, ma'am... Lisa Sue.

But you haven't got
around to telling me

why you picked
on little old Hazzard

to do all these
wonderful things to.

Excuse me.

- Yes?
- It's Garrett.

One of them Duke boys
found a piece of our equipment.

We got it back, but he got away.

I see. Thank you.

I have a little bit of a
business problem, honey.

So, maybe we could continue
this discussion another time.

That's too bad. It was
just getting interesting.

Whatever you say.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Thank you. Bye-bye.
- Bye.

Come on, get in, Luke.
I got a lot to tell you.

I can see what Hogg meant about
'em Duke boys being a problem.

Guess I'm gonna have
to take care of 'em myself.

What a waste.

Quick, call our men.

Tell them to get the
chopper and track them down.

I want 'em imprisoned and out
of the way until I wrap up my deal.

Meanwhile, Bo was telling Luke
all about what happened to him

and that drill bit that
he found, marked P.C.

Wait a minute. That "P"
could stand for Pritchard.

Yeah, you might be right.

They could've been doing
perc tests or maybe drilling

to see if there's any
minerals on the land.

- Do you mean like oil?
- Yeah, oil or silver or gold.

- Let's get to a phone.
- Use one at the farm.

They won't disconnect
it till tomorrow.

There you go.

Kind of like to see the old
place one more time too.

You see, them sissies
need a chopper to fly.

The boys returned to the farm
and Luke made a phone call

to Dallas Information.

And he found out
something very interesting.

Thanks a lot.

- Pay dirt.
- What?

Pritchard Industries has a
whole bunch of subsidiaries.

Among them, Pritchard Coal.

P.C.? L.S. Pritchard.
Hey, I bet that's it.

That lady ain't interested
in beautifying Hazzard

she's interested in coal.

Then them two guys
in the helicopter, now..

Now, they must work for her.

And I bet she's in
cahoots with Boss

when they run us off
the road this morning.

We're still up a creek,
we don't have evidence.

Well, let's go get some.

I wanna call over to Hatchapee

and see how Uncle
Jesse and Daisy are doing.

- Do you hear what I hear?
- Yeah. I sure do.

Let's see what they got.

Good thing you hid the
General Lee in the barn.

They're searching for us.

Guess I struck a nerve
with that Dallas gal.

I guess you sure did.
What are we waiting for?

- Let's go get them.
- We're gonna chase a chopper?

- You got a point there.
- We'll wait until dark.

We can check the landing strips,
see if they refueled someplace.

While we're waiting, let's
go give a call to Hatchapee.

- You got the number?
- I got it someplace.

Oh, here, it's in
this pocket I guess.

- Here, you hold it for me?
- Yeah, sure.

- Hello.
- 'Hey, Daisy. It's Luke.'

Luke!

- It's good to hear from you.
- How's it going?

Listen, we're just about moved
in, and Cooter was a big help.

I'm unpacking things.

Ask her how Uncle
Jesse's taking it.

Well, how's Uncle
Jesse taking it all?

Uh... listen, I just wanna
talk to you about that.

See..

Luke, he's not
taking it well at all.

Just breaking his heart.

You know, it really hit
him when we got here.

- Luke, I'm worried about him.
- We'll come to Hatchapee.

We'll spend the night. Alright?

Yeah.

Okay, we'll see you soon.
Give our love to Uncle Jesse.

Yeah, okay. Uh, yeah, bye-bye.

Bo, our uncle is
just a little too old

to be starting over.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

He spent the best
years of his life

taking care of us in this house.

Best years of our
lives, most likely.

Remember when I busted
my best Louisville Slugger

taking a swipe
at you right there?

Yeah, I do. Remember it
wasn't the bat that broke the wall

it was my head. I ducked,
chipped that thing right there.

You had quite a temper
on you when you was little.

Ah, sh**t.

Well, Uncle Jesse took
care of that damn quick.

I ate more meals off
of that mantelpiece..

Say, Luke, do you
remember when we were..

Playing the Little League
game and we didn't do good..

He'd take us and sit us
on his knee on that swing

and tell us that it didn't matter
because we was his boys

and he loved us.

Luke, our Uncle Jesse has
taken care of us all our lives.

It's time for us to
take care of him.

If it's the last thing we do, we
gotta get him his house back.

Wouldn't you know, somebody
was gonna come and ring that bell

when I was trying to ladle
out not too much or too little.

Oh, it's you, L.S. Oh,
yeah, come in, come in.

I was making some
dinner for myself

as my wife Lulu's
away at the fat farm.

- This isn't a social call, J.D.
- It ain't?

You were right about them
Duke boys being a problem.

- I want to speed everything up.
- You do?

Tomorrow, you're
gonna call a town meeting

at : a.m. sharp.

I am. At : a.m.

Here's another check. I don't
care how much you gotta spend.

I want you to use
pressure, threats, anything.

But I want to
complete my land buy

so I can start
redeveloping immediately.

Oh, my, my, my. Oh, my.

You sure are a man
of action, ain't you?

No, no. I meant a
girl of ac.. No, no, no.

A lady of ac.. No,
no, no. A woman...

You just make sure them boys
are not at the town meeting.

I want Hazzard in the
bag by tomorrow night.

- Got it?
- I got it.

If them Dukes try to
come back, I'll stop them.

I'll have my sheriff's
department set up a roadblock

between here and Hatchapee.

You do that. Goodnight.

Wait a minute. Don't you wanna
stay around just a little while

and try some of them
deep-fried hog jowls I'm making?

The only thing you better be
making is some phone calls.

- Don't forget, : a.m.
- a.m.

Oh, she really means that.

I can't count on
these Hazzard idiots.

Call our men and tell them to
stake out the Hatchapee road.

I want them to make sure Dukes
don't show up at that meeting.

Got you. And what
do we do about Hogg?

Soon as he buys up
everything, we dump him.

I wanna start hauling coal
outta here within ten days.

So that's why they
wanted us off our farm.

And that's why
that lady's buying up

all that land. She's found coal.

That's right. That stuff about
New Hazzard is hogwash.

All they're trying to do
is cheat them nice folks.

Well, that Pritchard lady
ain't gonna get away with that.

- That's the fighting spirit.
- Now, listen.

Didn't Cooter say they
was having a town meeting

tomorrow at the Boar's Nest?

- Yes, he did.
- Alright.

You and me are gonna go
there and talk to them people

and by the time we get through

they think they're gonna run
into a couple of buzz-saws.

I think this buzz-saw here
might get some shuteye.

I think we all better
get some shuteye.

Sure is gonna feel funny
sleeping under a strange roof.

Well, now..

With a little help
from the Lord..

And that town meeting tomorrow

we may not be
here all that long.

And when the morning Sun rose

Rosco was already setting up a
roadblock with a reluctant Enos

to keep the Dukes from
getting to that meeting.

And L.S. Pritchard's flunkies
were backing Rosco up

to make double sure.

And here come the Dukes.

Getting an early start
on the day's proceedings.

Anything I love better than
hot pursuit is a good roadblock.

Sheriff, I don't think it's
right for us to set a roadblock.

They may have been
disturbing the peace

but I don't think
that's enough reason...

Hush. Just hush.

Yours is not to wonder why.

You're just to follow orders
of your superior officer.

You just do like I do.
Monkey see, monkey do.

Yes, sir, I remember.

There they are.
Hey, Bo. Hey, Luke.

Aw, sh**t, it's a roadblock.

Stay back, Daisy.

What say we play
a little possum?

- They ain't coming, sheriff.
- Hush. I can see that.

Alright, you Dukes. I'm not
kidding. Come on over here.

'I'm gonna cuff
you and stuff you..'

They ain't gonna
do it, are they?

Alright. Let's go get them.

Get in your vehicle.

Now.

- Those fools. Let's go.
- Right.

'You're gonna pay for this.'

'I'm gonna get you.'

'I'm gonna get you.'

'Another roadblock.'

This is getting to be a
regular obstacle course.

Daisy, you better
take a different route.

Ahh!

- I don't believe it.
- We better get the phone.

'Get me outta here!'

'Where'd you get your driver's
license? In a cr*cker Jack box?'

You know, Hazzard County
is the only place that I know of

that needs an air
traffic controller for cars.

Why did you do that?

It was there.

We gotta get to that meeting,
so go for it, right down there.

Nice going, Daisy.

Boss and that Pritchard gal
don't want us at the meeting.

All the more reason
for us to be there.

Tell them boys to
stick their foot in it.

- 'Let's get cracking, fellas.'
- I got an idea.

You and Uncle Jesse go ahead
to that meeting and stall them.

- Me and Bo will be there later.
- What are we gonna be doing?

The way I figured it, if we're
gonna nail this Dallas lady

we're gonna have to get %
positive proof of her conniving.

How are we gonna get it?

Hopefully from Ms.
Pritchard herself.

She always carries
around that fancy briefcase.

I'm betting there's
something in there we can use.

'We'll see you there.'

'Ten-four.'

Come on, get serious, Boss.
That was wrong. That was wrong.

- You're minutes fast.
- Wait a minute.

Boar's Nest.

Oh, it's for you, L.S.

Oh.

Yes?

Well, what a pleasant
surprise to hear from you.

Yeah, it's nice to
talk to you too, ma'am.

I was wondering if we could
continue our conversation.

Maybe we can come to some
agreement if you're interested.

Okay. Give..

And the lady was
very interested.

Especially when Luke set up
a rendezvous at Lovers' Rock.

And off she went.

We gotta go.

'You going?'

You take over. We'll be back.

Don't you worry. I'll
take over. Sure I will.

I think she bought it.

I guess you best
get on out to work.

Do me a favor and try not to
forget everything I taught you.

Oh, I'll do my best.

Soon as I signal you,
tell our boys to come down

in the chopper and
take Luke hostage.

Yeah, okay, and we'll hold
him till the meeting's over.

We'll tell the other Dukes

if they want to see him
alive again, not to interfere.

But remember.

- Not until I signal you.
- Got it.

So it's time to begin.

This town meeting
will come to order.

Boss, it ain't : yet.

What do you mean?
That clock says it's : .

That clock says it's : ,
but it's yours and it ain't right.

Look. That's two
clocks that say : .

They're both your
clocks. That clock...

You're out of
order. Just sit down.

Well, it don't take a
lot of smarts to figure

that this is gonna
be a real matchup.

A chopper against General Lee.

- Be careful.
- You got it.

- You be careful too.
- 'Got it.'

Hi.

Why don't you come on
in and we'll talk for a bit.

Uh, I said I'd like
to see you alone.

How about you and
me take a little walk?

Okay.

Lead on, sugar.

So, what is it you
wanted to talk about?

- Well, ma'am. It's..
- Lisa Sue.

Lisa Sue.

Well, I sure would appreciate
it if you can see fit to have

them associates of yours stop
hounding me and my cousin.

And supposing I did?

Well, then, maybe we'd
forget to report to the F.A.A.

about the phony numbers you
had painted on the helicopter.

Appears as if you've
got more going for you

than just a strong jaw.

Hey. Hey, you drop that.

Gee, I'm sorry, I..

Thanks a lot.

Are you trying to
pull something?

Why, sh**t, no.

You think I'd bring you out
here for something like that?

I enjoyed the chat, Lisa Sue.

- Hit it, Bo.
- Bye, ma'am.

L.S., those yokels
got your briefcase.

Of all the..

They could k*ll my whole deal!

Get the chopper.
They gotta stop 'em.

I ain't gonna sit down.
I'm not gonna sit down

until it's time
for this meeting.

J.D., J.D. Just a minute, J.D.

Before you start this
meeting, Daisy and me

we got something we want to say.

No, you don't.
You're out of order.

Besides, you don't live in
Hazzard. So just get out.

Boss, listen to me. We're not
leaving until we say our piece.

Everybody, we just lost
our farm because of this man

and I don't know what these
pins mean, "I love New Hazzard."

- But he...
- No, no, no.

He is not telling you the truth.

- Oh, sh**t. We were right.
- What?

She ain't building no
community of the future

she's buying that land
so she can strip-mine coal.

Strip mining it?
Ain't that where they..

They scrape stuff off the
surface and keep going

until there ain't nothing left?

You got that right.

This here is a contract to
bring bulldozers in next week.

sh**t, that'll just
plumb wreck Hazzard.

Let's get to that meeting.

Would you look at that? It's
that dang helicopter again.

She's smart. She must've
put them on to us. Drive!

Hazzard ain't ever
gonna be the same.

In fact, I don't think
there's gonna be a Hazzard.

Don't listen to them Dukes.

They're lying
through their teeth.

He's lying.

No, the truth is, my
partner wants to redevelop.

J.D., I know that's what
you think, but your partner

is pulling the wool
over your eyes.

- She wants to mine coal.
- Order, order.

Order, order, order.
Jesse Duke, keep in order.

Jesse Duke, get in order.

Trees. Can't follow us in there.

'You wanna bet?'

Now, look out.

- Where are they?
- I don't know.

Give him some of
his own medicine.

Hang on, cousin.

Come on, General.

Those guys have a screw loose.

L.S. is furious. She
says we gotta stop them.

Right.

- Here they come.
- Oh, sh**t.

- I'm gonna call Rosco and Enos.
- Dang it!

Rosco. Enos. We need your
help. This is Bo and Luke.

Luke, they are
clobbering us, Luke.

Listen, we gotta get
them on the ground.

We're gonna have to decoy 'em.

Roll this thing over
to your left, eh?

- What?
- Roll it over.

But don't k*ll us, okay?

- Well, alright.
- Do it.

We got 'em.

Let's go down and
get that briefcase.

Now, Bo.

So, Bo and Luke got
a hold to the paperwork

that exposed L.S.
Pritcher's real plan.

Strip-mine coal in Hazzard.

Boss, in shock from being
taken by an even bigger liar

than himself, cancelled
all the land sales.

Besides, Pritchard's first
cut of the land was to be

right through the Boar's Nest.

And that's a
historical landmark.

And when the boys
threatened to press charges

for the first chopper accident

Boss cancelled the
foreclosure on the Duke farm

as well as paying for
having General repaired.

You gonna tear that baby up?

- Alright.
- Alright.

Those too tight, ma'am?

And while Lisa Sue
was headed for jail

along with her flunkies

thinking about
what might've been

mainly Luke

the Dukes moved
back into their farm.

And thanks to them,
things kind of settled down

to a pleasant scream.

First thing we got to do is
move in all the kitchen stuff.

- So you're gonna cook?
- Are we gonna cook?

Are we gonna cook?

Folks, that was some feast.
You should've been there.