02x04 - The Man in the Pink Slip

[bunniefuu]

Nicole, hi.
over the phone.

It looks like I'm gonna be
here a little longer.

Yeah. You know, I just put
investment trust

for our biggest client.

A real estate investment
trust.

A new stereo for you.

All right, I love you too,
(KISSES) Goodnight.

Mr. Kelcher.
Sit down, Taylor.

Mr. Kelcher, you're going to
be a happy man

when you see the deal,
I put together.

Sit down, Taylor.

I'm sitting.

Slump.

Good morning, Joey.
You're the best.

Good morning, Joey.
You're the...

Morning.

Hey, your turn
this morning.

Oh, can't Joey.
Very busy, very important day.

I want waffles.

Can't, Joe.
Sorry.

Phone calls, meetings,
work, work.

Morning, Dads.

Hi, Sweetheart.
Listen,

we're always going to
no matter what.

But right now,
very important day.

How important could it be
if he forgot his shoes?

Hey!

Michael...

Hey.
My shoes.

Yeah, they were on the chair.

And they should be on my feet.

You're the heart and soul
of this family, Joe.

Well, I'm on my way
to work now.

Bye.

Bye.

Hey, Michael, you okay
to go to work?

You want me to call
you're not coming in

because you're sitting
in the hallway barefoot?

There is no office, Joe.

I lost my job yesterday.

And I don't need my shoes
because I have nowhere to go.

Could you make me
breakfast then?

? You can count on me

? No matter what you do

? You can count on me

? No matter where you go

? I'm standing by your side

? I'll be right behind

? No one loves you
more than I do

? Put your hand in mine

? I can see
a part of me in you

? A little something special
that comes shining through

? I hear it in your laughter
and I feel it when you cry

? I will be
right there for you

? Until the day I die

? You can count on me

? No matter what you do

? You can count on me

? No matter where you go.

? You can count on me ?

Hey, you lost your job?
Geez, how'd you lose your job?

I don't know.

Yesterday, I'm a rising star
and today, I'm a bum.

I'm a bum with shoes.

Which is the worst thing
asleep in an alley,

shoes are the first thing
they steal.

Arc you handling it okay?

I mean besides being pathetic
to go nowhere.

You okay?

Could we not tell Nicole?
I don't want Nicole to know.

I just... I want to be strong
and put on a happy face.

Hi Honey.

Joey brought me my shoes.

And we're sitting
on the floor now.

So, it's a beautiful day
in the neighborhood?

Hey, Nick, don't you have to
go to school now?

Well, aren't you going
to work, Dad?

Yeah, well, honey,
yesterday.

And what happened was...
They, uh...

They changed my office,
isn't ready yet.

Can you believe it?
in a little later.

Oh...
tonight then.

Okay.

See you later, Sweetheart.

Come on,
You explain it to her.

I can't...
How can I explain it to her?

I'm sitting at my desk
in job security,

and my boss, Kelcher,
he comes over

and he tells me,
they're selling the company.

I said,
"How can you do that?"

He says,
"It's a leveraged buyout."

He says,
understand it.

"It's finances.
You understand finances.

"You used to be
in the business."

And then they replaced me,
They replaced me.

How could they replace you?

I mean, you're the key man
in the company!

Kelcher used to call you
in the middle of the night

just to make sure,
you were still alive.

I mean,
get rid of you?

How?

Well, it was
a very catchy little tune

and it went something
like this,

? Da, da, da, da,
da, da, bye ?

Well, come on.

Can't live in the hall.

No!
I don't wanna go in there!

I don't want to be at home
during the day.

Why not?
Come on.

Because if I step across
there, I'm dead!

I'll become this
pathetic loft thing.

I'll grow a beard,
I'll eat flies.

I'm not gonna do it!

Come on.

Is this what it's like here
every day?

Yeah, yeah,
it turns into this.

Come on, take your coat off.
No, no, no.

Can't.
Can't sit.

Gotta keep moving.
Keep the edge.

(PHONE RINGS)
Hey, who would be here?

It's people
I've never seen before.

It's the day people,
isn't it?

Hey, Judge.
Hi, Joe.

Michael, surprised to find
you here.

Would you tell him that?

I'm trying to get out
of the house.

I'm making breakfast
for everybody.

I was just on my way to work
off this key

because I'm expecting the
I really came to say,

except how's your job,
Michael?

My job?

If I could get there,
I'm sure it's fine.

How's your job?
Fine.

Job.
Fine.

Job.
Fine, how do you know?

It's in the paper?
Yep.

Big article.
Big buy out.

Says your boss, Kelcher,
really made out on the deal,

so I came by to find out
how you were making out.

How are you, Michael?

Me?
I'm fine, I'm fine.

I'll get another job
in a second.

I'm the kind of guy
that bounces right back.

Bounce, bounce!
You can't keep me down.

Bounce, bounce.

What, you think this business
can live without me?

No.
It can't!

I'm one of a kind.
like me.

Bounce, bounce.

(LAUGHS)

This makes you the normal one.

Michael?

Hello.
Hello.

Dad, what do you think
of my new outfit?

New outfit?
Yes!

It's the school ski trip,
remember?

You and Joey promised.
on my report card?

And you got them?
Yeah!

Now here's the receipt
for the jacket.

Here's a list
I need, like

boots, ski rental,
lift tickets, bus fare,

and spending money,
a cute souvenir.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Can I borrow
like a squillion dollars?

Bad day on the job hunt?

Who told you?

I blabbed.

Do you know I got turned down
for ten jobs today?

That means there's ten guys
at what I do.

And that's one day.

I mean, in a year,
better than me at what I do.

In years there's ,
at what I do.

That's bleak.

Michael, any guy
is going to land on his feet.

You know, when I'm
compassionate like this...

It makes me nauseous.

Yep, losing your job
is real tough, Michael.

Happens to
the best of us, though.

Let me tell you this story.
No!

You know, in football,
You get traded.

And it's in the paper
and everybody reads about it.

So, who you get traded for,
what you're worth.

For example, in
for a bucket of chicken.

It was late in my career,
and they were hungry.

A bucket of chicken gets work,
and I can't get arrested.

How do I explain this
to Nicole?

I'm sure she'll be
real supportive.

I mean, you're her father.

How many fathers
does a kid have?

Sorry.

Uh, Honey.

Hi.

Michael, what's going on?
all day.

Yesterday, the company
that I work for got bought.

And you know how sometimes,
when you buy a house

the old furniture doesn't
go with it anymore?

Well, yesterday I found out
an old couch.

You lost your job?
Sorry.

This is very nice.

This is about as wonderful
as I have felt all day.

Thank you.

No, don't stop.
to tell you.

Well, I'm not going
on my ski trip.

What is that?

You've enough to worry about
about me.

I don't want to be expensive.
You're not expensive.

Well, what happens
if you don't get a job soon

and you can't afford me
anymore?

Then, we sell Joey.

First of all,
I don't need this jacket.

JOEY: You put that jacket
back on.

And you got out there
that match.

Now, that's a bad philosophy
my still unemployed

and not quite as unique
as I thought, drift.

We're tightening our belts,
Joey.

We're biting the b*llet.

Would you stop, Honey.

Help me reassure her, please.

Hey, we are okay.
We are just fine.

Because today I went out
and got myself a job.

I'm sorry, what?
You got what?

I'm not kidding.
Hey, you've been out there,

you've been the breadwinner
long enough.

Today I went out
of the working class.

Hey, Joe, you have a job.
You're an artist.

Yeah, yeah.
And I'm still an artist.

In the art department
Full time!

Hey,
sweetheart.

You go out there
out there on the slopes.

(KISSING)

Did you hear that, Michael?
I can keep the jacket.

Thanks, Joey.

So, you're in charge
account?

Well, just the art part,

but, you know,
dollar budget.

So, it's a big responsibility
but you know,

I'm not gonna let that
get to me.

All right, look,
a big deal out of this,

but would you people,
please remember

the little plastic scrubby

goes on the right side
of the sink, next to the soap.

I mean, if we're not gonna
back where it belongs,

we might as well
all right?

All right, Nick,
put on a sweater,

we got a bus to catch!

(RATTLING)

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Here.
Let me get that.

I got it.
I got it.

(RATTLING)

Hey,
you'll get the hang of it.

I don't want to
get the hang of this!

Alright, I admit it.
I have laundry anxiety!

I have no idea where
I'm supposed to take those

non-static cling sheets
into the washer.

Dryer.
Huh?

They go in the dryer.

Fire me!

I tried to get them off
but they keep jumping back on.

I gotta get a job.

Come here, come here,
Ready?

You'll get the hang of it.

That's the attitude, okay?

(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, it's my bathrobe.
I'll get it.

(PHONE RINGIN)

See?
are already coming in!

Michael Taylor's office.

Cut the crap Taylor,
The laundry?

Hey, Mr. Kelcher!
Where are you?

Hard to say Taylor, know why?
Tell you why.

I'm on a Concorde.
Supersonic transport.

sh**ting through the skies
at , miles an hour.

Right now I'm flying over
England, Ireland.

Okay, it's all water now.

How you doing?

Me? I'm fine.
the job offers, you know.

Atta boy!
Don't let them get you cheap.

No, sir.
Now listen, Taylor,

I didn't call to
flap lips here,

I need some investment advice
and you're the best there is.

I am?
For free.

Well, what can
I do for you, sir?

Well, as you know, Taylor,
selling the company.

So I'm sitting here
with a pile of money

which Uncle Sam is eyeing
of Fritos.

And you want to shelter
your money.

Not shelter.
Protect.

Not protect.
Hide.

That's the one.

Well, sir,
liquidation.

I mean, if you can roll
some of the money

into another business
before the end of the year,

then we can
take advantage of the,

you know, the non-recognition
of appreciated property.

That the legal way to go?
Yeah.

Well, that's a good fall-back
I owe you one, Taylor.

Hey Mr. Kelcher,
you know all this,

you were the head
of the company.

You're just calling
aren't you?

What?
Oh, I can't hear you...

We're breaking up.

We must be flying
through a tunnel.

Well, bye.

I love it,
I love everything about it.

I love the dog.

I love that he's looking
Yeah

I love the can of food.

There's only one thing
I love a little less

than I love everything else
that I love.

The face.

The dog's face.
The...

Attitude of the dog's face.

The dog's attitude?

He doesn't look happy.

Well, he is happy.
He doesn't look happy.

How happy do you want him?

Happier.

He's a dog!
to do, smile?

He has to be happy.

Now, you're the artist.

I wouldn't impinge
on your creative area.

Just happy up the dog.

What, you want
to see teeth?

I mean, you wanna see
a grinning dog with dimples?

I spent a lot of time
I went to the park.

I took squeaky toys
and lamb chops.

And you know,
squeaky toys and lamp chops

they were the happiest dogs
in the world.

But not one of those dogs
said, "A-hullfff!"

Okay, Joe.

What I want is...

A happy dog.

Hey, I can draw Scooby-Doo,
that's a happy dog.

Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy
little doggy family.

I mean, you want to see them
with bow ties and hats?

You want 'em to dance, huh?

(BARKING)

Trust your instinct.

Go with me.
Happy dogs.

Funky pups.

I'm excited.

Draw.

Come on,
I put feet on the donuts,

I did the whole banana family.

I mean, can't we save this dog
some dignity?

Okay, Joe.

Give the dog his dignity.
Thank you.

And a hat.

Welcome back to Family Feud.

Let's say hi,
the Edwards family.

Hi.

Now, this is your first time
a little bit about yourselves.

Well, Ray, all five of us
are investment advisors.

We've just moved
to New York City

and we're all looking
for jobs.

Hey, Joey.
Good day at work?

Look at this place.

What's the matter?

Hey, I put in
so there's food on that table.

I mean, is it so much to ask
to come home to a clean place?

Hey, who am I, Donna Reed?

Hey, Donna kept a clean house!

Look at you!

I gotta come home
to see you looking like this?

Come on, why can't you put on
something nice?

What the hell
am I talking about?

Tense, Joe?

Cracking under
a nine-to-five existence?

And incidentally
How do I know?

Because my soaps just ended.

So what are you doing home?
that it's a legal holiday.

I quit my job.

No, you didn't.
Yes I did.

No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.

No, you didn't!
as well as I do

that your job
is the only thing standing

between us and our new life,
living in a packing crate.

Hey, I quit
were sucking my soul out!

Yeah, but Joe,
if it makes them happy.

I had no creative control.
Nothing! Okay?

They want me to come up
for idiots.

That's my responsibility!

No!
was to keep us afloat!

Joey!
is to stay employed

till I can get back
on my feet.

We are afloat, Michael.

Hey, I've always
been afloat, okay?

My money may not come in
but it manages to come in.

And you're the one
to a bathrobe and black socks.

My next interview
is not until next Thursday.

Well, then, get out there
and enjoy the city.

What are you scared of?

I'm not scared of anything!

Yeah, you're scared
into somebody

and you're not going
introduce yourself

because your business card
expired and so did you.

Hey, cut it out.
This isn't about me.

You're the one who quit
your job!

Yeah, but I'm still me.

You lost your job
and who are you?

Look at you.

You think that your job
was your whole self-worth!

You don't know
what you're talking about.

Hi Dads.
What's new?

I quit my idiot job.

What is the story
with you guys?

Hey, you see your father?

Yeah.
Describe him.

NICOLE: What?
JOEY: Michael Taylor.

In three words.
What is he?

He is cute.

Funny.

Smart.

Thank you, Sweetheart.
What is your point?

You're not looking
deep enough.

Three more words.

Who is this guy?

Father.

Friend.

Good.

How's that?

I'm sorry Michael.
I'm sorry,

but obviously your daughter
of your existence.

What do you mean?
What did I miss?

You didn't give me
time to prepare.

You missed suit, pay check,
businessman.

You missed desk, income,
briefcase.

Wait, you asked me who he is,
not what he does.

Oh.

No, that's right,
I did, didn't I?

Beautiful. Precious. Perfect.

Smartass.

Lunatic.

Thank you.

(PHONE RINGS)

Mr. Kelcher.

Egad, Taylor,
you look like hell.

Come on in,
you know my daughter, Nicole.

You've grown, I imagine.

And, uh, my co-father,
Joey Harris.

Of course,
I remember Harris!

He's part of the reason
I came here.

He's gonna work for me.

What?
I took your advice, Taylor.

I bought a business.
A nice small business.

Charming little enterprise.

Tax write-off.
That's the one.

It's a magazine.
Financial Update.

I'm sure you've seen it
and thrown it out.

And you're gonna work for me,
Harris.

You know why?
Tell you why.

You know layout,
you know design,

you know, I'm not
gonna pay you much.

But it's a great ground floor
opportunity, so how about it?

So, I'd be
the artistic director?

You'd be the art department.

Hey, that's
creative control, Joe.

No idiot in a suit
telling me what to do?

I'll wear a sport coat.

No interference,
you know why?

Tell me why.
You screw up, we lose money.

The more you lose,
the bigger my write off.

You don't screw up,
we make a profit.

Profit is money,
write-off is money,

money is money,
jeez, I love this country.

Deal?

You gotta give me time
to think about it.

Well while you think,
bathrobe creature over here.

Okay, I need one more
piece of free advice, Taylor.

This magazine is gonna need
a business manager,

rising star in
the financial community.

Who do you know?

What are you going to pay him?

You're adorable.

Okay, you guys, you in?

Well, I think we need
our other options.

Who you kiddin'?
: AM.

I'll be in around noon,
then I'm going out to lunch.

Hold my calls.

Hey, Herb.
Hmm?

You knew the whole time
do this, didn't you?

I mean, your own way,
aren't you?

What?

I can't hear you.

We're breaking up again.

I'll give you a call.

I got a job.

I got a job.

The best thing is
get to work together!

Yeah.