06x06 - Boss Behind Bars

[bunniefuu]

'Yee-haw!'

In Kentucky, it's the Derby.

Indianapolis, it's the .

In Hazzard, it's the
Ridgerunner Old-Timer's race.

Bo and Luke, because of
their NASCAR experience

had been asked to
lay out the course.

Don't you think Uncle Jesse
is gettin' a bit long in the tooth

to be racing around
in 'em old shine cars.

Well, you can tell him. I
got more sense than that.

And here come the bad
Beaudrys from Tennessee.

The last time that
they was in Hazzard

they tried to force Daisy
to marry old, dumb Milo.

He's the handsome one.

Now what do you
reckon they're up to?

Gosh, pa, you think I'll get
to see that Daisy gal again?

You forget about her, boy.

That girl ain't
nothing but trouble.

We only gotta do this, 'cause
you blowed up our dang still.

Yeah, and we got to be getting
ourselves another one. Fast.

I mean, we gotta be
swiping Boss Hogg's still.

Put your foot to the floor,
Sledge, boy. Let's go.

Five miles out and five back.
That oughta just about do it.

Yeah, I'd say so.

I suppose the big
race is gonna be

between Boss Hogg and
Uncle Jesse again, huh?

I reckon it will.

Where'd they come from?

I don't know, but
get out of the way!

Yee-haw!

Who the heck was that? Oh,
it's them dang Beaudrys again.

- What are they doing in town?
- Let's teach them some manners.

I'm right with you.

Hey!

Hey! Hey, they're
trying to pass us.

- I know.
- Hey, don't let 'em.

Alright, pull over.

- Get out of here!
- No way!

You shouldn't have done
that. You got me mad.

Me too.

You almost wrecked
us back there, Milo.

You got a lot of dang gall
showing up in Hazzard County.

- We ain't forgotten last time.
- Oh, yeah?

Cut that out, boys.

Put him down, Milo.

Milo, Sledge... you apologize
to these here nice fellers.

What for?

The boys here, they just
forgot their manners, that's all.

We just passing through, and
we don't mean nobody no harm.

Ain't that right, boys?

Yeah, uh, we wanna apologize.

- Don't we?
- Yeah, yeah. Like he said.

Well, words are cheap.

You just keep on
passing through.

Come on, Bo.

- What'd you have us do that?
- Yeah?

'Cause we don't want
no chalk with them Dukes.

Boss Hogg's still's what we're
after. Come on. Let's go, boys.

Come on, sonny
boy. Get in there.

Don't let their
clean-cut looks fool you.

The Beaudrys are a human plague.

- Uncle Jesse, you want a beer?
- I'm sticking with pop.

- I'm driving.
- That's right.

- Hey.
- Hey, how you doing?

- Hey!
- Hi, Uncle Jesse and Cooter.

'Alright, everybody step up.'

One and all. No bet's
too big, no bet's too small.

- Step right up!
- Here you go.

On Jesse Duke to win.

Oh, listen here, are you
kidding about this pig?

- Boss? Will you take this?
- I'm taking all bets, Rosco.

- Alright.
- Take the pig.

On Jesse Duke, one pig to win.

Oh, ain't that a
cute little porker?

Hey, Uncle Jesse, the
way everybody's bettin'

everybody thinks
you're gonna win.

It seems like it.

I'll tell you what'll be
hard about this race

staying ahead of J.D. Hogg

and keeping an eye
on him at the same time.

Well, five will get you ten,
Boss'll try to pull something.

Uh-uh. No, no, not with Luke
and me watching the whole race.

Rock-a-bye, piggy.
Eechie keechie coochie.

- You know something, Boss?
- Yeah?

If Flash sees me
"coochi-cooching" this pig

you know, she's
gonna be jealous.

I'll "coochi-coochi" you if
you don't put that pig down.

Get back to taking bets.

I got no place to
put this little porker.

- She won't fit in the cash box.
- Oh, find someplace!

What's that writing say, pa?

Oh, that-that says something
about, oh, some kind of a race.

Boss, Boss, listen.
I am terribly worried.

- What?
- Yeah.

You know, everybody's
betting on Jesse Duke.

Well, so what?

Well, if you don't win,
we're gonna lose a bundle.

Alright, will you stop worrying?

I've always been a better
wheelman than Jesse Duke.

Ain't that true?

And there's no way that
he can win fair and square.

Well..

- Unless... maybe..
- What?

Them two sneaking nephews of his

are planning to
do a little cheating.

- You mean the Duke boys?
- Yeah.

Sure, well, they wanna
see me b*at, don't they?

Well, how do we know that
they ain't taken their precious

uncle's car, and souped it up
without him knowing about it.

- The Duke boys?
- Well, yeah.

Like maybe putting on an
illegal supercharger or something.

- The Duke boys?
- Listen..

- I'm gonna take a look.
- Yeah.

- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.

Boss looks awful
worried, doesn't he?

Aren't us humans weird?

Oh, rock-a-bye, piggy.

- Pa.
- Duck, duck, duck.

Oh!

- Mr. Hogg.
- Ah! Dag blast it!

Enos, what's the big idea
sneaking up on me like that?

I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg,
I wasn't sneaking.

I was just wondering what you
was doing at Uncle Jesse's car.

Oh, that? Well, I was
just checking it out.

To make sure he's
racing fair and square.

Mr. Hogg, you know
Uncle Jesse wouldn't cheat.

Well, of course I know.

Alright, listen, just tend to
your own affairs, will you?

And if you ever sneak up on
me like that, I'll have your badge!

Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg, I wasn't
trying to sneak up or anything.

I didn't mean to
spoil your time.

You ain't mad at me
are you, Mr. Hogg?

That's just the break
we've been looking for, boys.

What do you mean, pa?

Well, that there Boss Hogg's
always hanging around his still.

So if we're gonna heist it, we
gotta get him out of the way.

- Right.
- Right.

Yeah, and I figured
out just the way to do it.

Come on, boys.

Alright, everybody. It's
getting close to race time.

We gotta take a break
in the festivities here

and get into the formalities.

Now, all you drivers
gather around here.

Bo will walk you
through the course here.

Then I'll give you
the final instructions.

As you all know, we start
out in front of the Boar's Nest.

And while the drivers'
meeting was going on inside..

Dirty work was going on outside.

Alright, Sledge, did you do
just exactly like I told you?

Sure did, Pop. Pulled these off.

The steering bolt's
all loosened up.

Pa, this is Jesse Duke's car.

Right, right.

Yeah, sir, boys, these
here little doodads

is gonna put us right
back in the shine business.

I ain't exactly sure what
them Beaudry trash are up to

but there's one thing
I do know for sure..

Uncle Jesse's in danger.

Okay, gentlemen, to your cars!

- Alright!
- 'Alright!'

- May the best man win, J.D.
- I intend to.

You've been tryin' years.

- Yeah, well, he's..
- What?

Let's get them, Buford.

What do you think will
be the worst... corner?

Beaudry?

Didn't you tell me they were
just passing through town?

Well, that's what they told us.

I had a feeling we hadn't
seen the last of 'em.

Now, there's nothin' wrong
with 'em just watching the race.

Well, as long as
they just watch.

The minute Milo goes
for Daisy, he's got trouble.

- Come on!
- Alright!

- Go for it, Boss.
- Hey, wait a minute!

The Beaudrys! What
are you doing here?

Rosco, I want you to keep
a sharp eye on these crooks.

If they sell their cheap rotgut
in my territory, lock 'em up.

We're just here
to watch the race.

- Hi, Daisy.
- Boy!

- Cooter?
- Sir?

Uh, do me a favor
and stay close to Daisy

while they're around, will ya?

That ain't no favor, Uncle
Jesse, that's a delight.

- Thanks, Cooter.
- Good luck to you.

- Alright, Luke.
- Yeah, you can do it.

Anderson Corner's wet, right?

Yeah, the spring's
up. It'll be alright.

- I'll throw some mud there.
- Get the General.

- Come on, Daisy.
- We're ready?

Sure you got this fixed up?

Now the only problem is,
Daisy ain't the one in trouble.

Alright, Boss. Put
the fat to the mat.

- 'J.D.?'
- Hmm?

You better trade that
scarf for a dust mask.

'Gentlemen, get in your
cars, and start your engines.'

Alright, get in there, chubby.

'Just get in there
and just win this thing.'

- Come on, Uncle Jesse!
- 'My money's on Jesse.'

Now, y'all know that here
at the Ridgerunners Race

we don't use a startin'
p*stol like other folks do.

We do it our own way.

Gentlemen, the
revenuers is coming!

Bib Tarkey has
taken over the lead.

'Bubba Buford and Jesse Duke
are fightin' for second place.'

Come on, Uncle Jesse! Come on!

Boss Hogg is
holdin' up the rear.

See, I knew it! There's
too much flab in the cab.

Easy, Bubba. That's
too fast into there.

Uh-oh, ladies and gentlemen,
Bib Tarkey and Bubba Buford

'just done spun out.'

'Now, they're okay, but
they're definitely out of the race.'

Jesse.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Boss Hogg is now in the lead.

Oh, good!

But the favorite, Jesse Duke,
is movin' up to challenge.

- Ha-ha-ha.
- Woo-hoo!

Yeah, Uncle Jesse! Come on!

'Yahoo!'

'As they head towards
the home stretch'

'it's Jesse Duke and Boss
Hogg fightin' it out for the lead.'

Come on, Jesse!

It's Jesse Duke and Boss
Hogg, ladies and gentlemen.

They're neck and neck.
It's anybody's race now.

Come on, Uncle Jesse! Come on!

You ain't gettin' by me, Jesse.

What's happenin' to the car?

'Well, looks like
something's wrong.'

I figured it's about time
for somethin' to go wrong.

I worry about Bo and
Luke but I get plumb uptight

when anything happens
to Daisy or Jesse.

Jesse Duke done crashed.

- Oh!
- Daisy, come on.

'Crashed? Is he alright?'

'Is he okay?'

- Uncle Jesse!
- Uncle Jesse!

I won! I won!

I b*at Jesse Duke!

Wait a minute. Where's
everybody goin'?

Uncle Jesse, he done crashed up.

I thought he just dropped out.

Oh, that's awful. Come
on, we gotta go help him.

Easy, easy, easy.

There.

Yeah, it all works.

- You're not hurt then?
- No, just my pride.

- Here, walk on over here.
- Come on.

You know, this means
that J.D.'s gonna win.

I sure, sure do hate that.

Sit up on the General now.

Never you mind about
Boss Hogg winnin' this race

just as long as you're okay.

Oh man, Lady Luck
was shinin' on you.

What happened, anyways?

I don't know.

Steerin' went out.

- Uncle Jesse... are you alright?
- Yeah.

Yeah, it takes more
than somethin' like that

to put a dent in this
ol' hide. Don't you...

Uncle Jesse, I do believe that
you've been sayin' your prayers.

Hey, Cooter, help
me take a look at this.

- He said his steering went out.
- Right.

'Jesse.'

Jesse, are you alright?

Are you alright?

Oh, my goodness
gracious, you're alive.

I mean, I sure did wanna b*at ya

but I sure never wanted
you to cr*ck up like this.

Yeah, I-I'm in one piece, J.D.

'We sure had a race for
a while there, didn't we?'

It was the best
race ever. And I won!

Hey, y'all, wait a minute.
We found somethin' here.

Oh, what? What? What?

'Supposed to be a
bolt there that holds'

the steering together,
it's gone. Look at this.

Well, that has to be it then.

'The steering went
all every which way.'

I couldn't control it.

Well, what happened to the bolt?

Well, it could've
come loose by itself

'which I'd find highly
unlikely, or else..'

well, or else, somebody
was messing with that

cotter pin and the
nut that holds it in.

Oh! Are you kiddin'?

Who'd be such a lowlife
as to do somethin'..

Wait a minute. What
are you all lookin' at?

Well, as much as Jesse
Duke and I have disagreed

on a lot of things, I
swear that I'd never

do anything that would
cause him any harm.

- I believe you, J.D.
- Well, I do too.

Boss even went out there
and checked Jesse's car

before the race to make sure
everything was on the up-and-up.

Dat-ta-tat-tat.

That's right, he did. I saw him.

He had the hood up
and was doin' somethin'.

Boss, you was lookin'
under Uncle Jesse's hood?

What do you gotta
say for yourself, J.D.?

Well, uh, you see, I
just wanted to make sure

that them boys of
yours wasn't cheatin'.

- Cheatin'?
- The boys cheatin'?

- Boss, you got your nerve.
- Hey, y'all, look.

Found it in the middle of the
road. Must've fell plumb out.

We'd found out that Boss was
pokin' around under the hood.

What?

I didn't have nothin' to do with
what happened. No siree, Bob.

I mean, and I never
touched nothin' in that car.

- I mean I just looked.
- Oh.

What's this fell
out of your pocket?

My pocket? What
are you talkin' about?

It fell out of your
pocket. I saw it.

- That?
- Yeah.

That's a nut and a cotter
pin to a steering bolt.

Y'all, this here
was no accident.

You sabotaged our
Uncle Jesse's car.

Yep, yep, it sure fits.

Gee! Shame shame,
everybody knows your name.

- Now, why did you do it?
- I tell ya I didn't do it!

I don't know how them
parts got in my pocket.

I never saw 'em
before in my life.

I hear what you're sayin',
Boss, but it sure looks like you

took off that cotter pin and
nut so that bolt would fall loose.

No, I deny it! I
deny everything.

Oh, this is an outrage.
I'm being framed.

Oh, you're dang
right it's an outrage.

You could've k*lled
our Uncle Jesse, Boss.

You've done some lowdown
things in your life, Boss

but nothin' comes
close to this one.

Now, kids, just pull back
a little bit. We ain't sure.

- Well, I'm sure!
- Hmm?

Alright, Hogg. You've
gone too far this time.

- Rosco.
- What?

Don't tell me you're
siding with 'em Dukes.

Yes. Enos saw you at the scene.

And you had those things
in your pocket, didn't ya?

And Uncle Jesse there, he
could've been hurt seriously.

This whole thing is
ridiculous. I'm leavin'.

No, no, no, no.

Wrong, wrong, wrong,
wrong, little fat buddy.

'Now, listen, I've been your
pal through thick and thin'

but there are some things that
I can't turn my eyes away from.

And I'm gonna have to arrest ya.

You can't arrest me. I'm
the county commissioner.

I pay your salary. I made
you and I can break you!

Rosco, you got the
authority to arrest him.

Damn right. I've got the
authority and I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna do my duty.

Alright, Enos, cuff
him 'n stuff him.

No! No, no, I tell you I
had nothin' to do with it.

No, no! I'm innocent,
as the driven snow!

'But you drifted. Now, get in.'

Why won't anybody believe me?

Now, don't that hitch
a cow to a plough.

The master framer, Boss Hogg

has just been
framed his own self.

Never thought I'd see the day
Rosco would arrest Boss Hogg.

- You got that right.
- Well, he sure deserves it.

Pullin' a dirty trick like
that on Uncle Jesse.

Now, Daisy, just simmer down.

J.D.'s done some
sneaky things in his day..

But I'd never have
thought he'd do this to me.

- Maybe J.D. is innocent.
- Ugh.

Maybe he's tellin' the truth.

'Maybe we better
look into this accident'

a little bit more before
we pass judgment on J.D.

Uncle Jesse, we know
what we're gonna find.

But if you want us to look
into it, we'll just look into it.

Okay, now, boys.

We gotta rip off Hogg's
shine operation. Yeah.

I bought me this here map
from an old Ridgerunner.

And this thing tells us
just exactly where it is.

I sure hate leavin'
that Daisy gal.

- She looks so purty.
- Forget her.

We come to get us a still
and that's all we come for.

That's right.

Meanwhile, back in
town, Boss was squealing

like a stuck hog.

Which is exactly what he is.

- Get this thing off me!
- Mr. Hogg.

Alright, Hogg, you
will face forward

with your fat little jowls
with a pleasant expression.

- And you can say "grits."
- I'll grits you, knucklehead.

You can't book me like this.

Then I'll sh**t
you without grits.

Rosco... listen, I'm gonna
have your badge, you hear me?

You can't throw me in the jail.

I mean, that's what we
do to common criminals.

And that's exactly what you are.

And that's why I've arrested
you for illegal tampering

malicious mayhem, and
also aggravated as*ault

against a vehicle.

Yeah, but I keep tellin' you
I never touched Jesse's car.

And I sure don't know how
'em parts of his got in my pocket.

Mr. Hogg, we're real sorry
about this, but since these charges

are felonies, sir, a-and the
circuit judge is coming Tuesday

so we gotta hold you till then

so he can set bail
for you. Now, be still.

- Alright.
- You look real nice.

Now then, are you
gonna say "grits"?

If you don't stop with
'em grits, so help me...

Alright, enough of that.
Let's get him fingerprinted.

- Fingerprinted?
- That's right.

- Oh, no way. No!
- Yes.

You'd rather for me to
b*at you with a rubber hose?

Now, during all this,
em' bad Beaudrys

was pickin' Boss' still
clean as a hound's tooth.

And was takin' off for
their hideout in Tennessee.

A lot of folks had gone there
and never was heard from again.

'Oh, pa.'

My little baby.

Take her away.
Let's go here, boy.

And Bo and Luke was recheckin'
the scene of the accident

for any clues that
might have been missed

and they weren't
havin' any luck.

There ain't nothing here
that's gonna help us out any.

I guess all we can do
is head back to Cooter's

and give that car a
thorough going-over.

- Yep. One more time - Let's go.

And here's where the Duke
boys' luck started to change.

They're about
to run into a clue.

Well, actually, it
nearly run into them.

There's them dang
Duke boys again.

Hang on.

Come on, get us on
out of here, Sledge.

- Those dang Beaudrys.
- I'll get out of this.

Come on! Put it all down there.

You see what 'em
Beaudrys had in the back?

'Looked a lot
like a still to me.'

Dollars to doughnuts,
they ripped somebody off.

The way this road curves around

if we jump the creek,
we can cut 'em off.

Well, what are you
waitin' for? Let's go!

Where they going, pa?

I don't know.

But them there Duke boys
is sure up to something.

Hang on.

I don't care where you're from

that is a sight that you
just don't see very often.

Come on, boys, let's get
ourselves on back home. Come on.

Yow. Look at the
size of that hole.

Well, it's a good thing it's
in the radiator, not in us.

Let's fix it as best we can.
We can put some water in it.

- Alright.
- Just leave it. Just leave it.

We sure had a stroke of bad
luck runnin' into them Beaudrys.

You know... I've been
thinkin' about that.

Suppose Uncle Jesse's right
and Boss is tellin' the truth

about being set up.

Who'd be the most
likely candidates?

My vote goes for 'em
bad news Beaudrys.

Yeah. Let's see, they
were at the start of the race.

Hey, they were at
Jesse's accident too.

That still in the
back of their pickup..

The only one that size
around here is Boss'.

Only way to know for sure

is to get that radiator
fixed and get out of here.

- I'll go get some water.
- Alright.

'I tell you, this
is ridiculous.'

Makin' me put
on these jail rags.

Well, I ain't no hoodlum.
I'm the county commissioner.

You just..

Oh! Dag blast it! You ain't
gonna get away with this.

I demand to speak
to the governor.

O-or even the president.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hogg, you
already made your one phone call.

But I got a wrong number.

- Oh, tiddly-tuddly.
- Ah!

They always grovel like
that when they're guilty.

Come on, Enos.
We got things to do.

But I didn't do it, I tell you!

I'm innocent! I was framed!

Now I know how them Dukes feel.

Bill?

Meanwhile, the boys
got the General runnin'

and was arriving at Boss'
moonshinin' hideout..

Where they found out
that their guess was right.

The still was gone.

Uh, them dang Beaudrys,
they-they jumped me

and-and tied me up and
they-they swiped everything in sight.

If Boss finds out, he's
gonna-he's gonna skin my hide.

Ah, he ain't gonna
do no such thing.

- 'You sure you're alright?'
- Yeah, yeah.

Well, at least we know it was
Boss Hoggs' still on that truck.

What do you suppose it has to
do with Uncle Jesse's accident?

I ain't sure, but them Beaudrys
gotta be up to somethin'.

Only one way to find out.

Track 'em down, get 'em to talk.

You know, we've been ridin'
in the General Lee together

for so long, we're even
starting to think alike.

That ain't funny, Bo. Come
on, get in the car. Let's get going.

We'll call Uncle Jesse
on the CB, and fill him in.

It's nothin' personal.
Come on, get in.

Alright.

Uncle Jesse, meanwhile,
was able to sweet-talk Daisy

into drivin' him to the jail
for a visit with the prisoner.

Probably because he feel so bad.

Well, we'll go in and see him.

You sure are a good
friend to him, Uncle Jesse.

Well, J.D. and me, we
go back a long ways.

Hi, Daisy. Hey, Uncle Jesse.

Enos, can we see your prisoner?

You surely may.
Ya'll come right in.

Oh.

Mr. Hogg, you got some visitors.

- Hello, J.D.
- Jesse.

Hey, Boss.

- Daisy.
- Yeah.

My, oh, my.

Well, well, well.

Thank you for comin'.

Well... you know, J.D

I'm kind of sorry
about all this.

Well, then listen to me, Jesse.

Listen to me good.

Lord knows I've lied
and cheated in my time.

Now and then, here and
there, but w-what man hasn't?

But this time I'm tellin'
the truth, and it's this..

I don't know howthem
parts from your car

got into my pockets, so help me.

'Well, you know, J.D.'

in this country, we kind
of go by a man's past.

Now, you gotta
admit that your past

is not only shady,
it's just plumb cloudy.

Yeah, I know, I know.

It all goes back to 'em early
days when we was young'uns.

You remember.

You took the straight
and narrow path.

I didn't.

'You can sure say that again.'

But so help me, Jesse..

Whatever the case, I
never touched your car.

You know, J.D., I'm
inclined to believe you.

Alright, everybody
out. Visitin' hours is up.

It's time for the
prisoner's lunch.

Oh, prisoner, prisoner!

You hang in there, J.D.

Uh, Jesse, what
are doin' in there

socializing with
that riff-raff..

Especially after what
he's done to you?

Rosco, in this country,
a man is innocent

until he's proven guilty.

- Now, don't you forget that.
- Oh, you tell him, Jesse!

- You tell him.
- Oh, tiddly.

Alright, jailor. Come on
in here. What's to eat?

After what I've been
through, I'm starved.

- Well, there you are.
- Oh-ho-ho! Bread and water?

That's right.

Well, that's cruel and
unusual punishment.

Ain't you heard?
It's unconstitutional.

Listen, don't you
wave that bread at me.

After all, that's all the
money you gave me

for prisoners' lunches.
You can just suffer.

'Lost Sheep callin'
Shepherd or Bo Peep.'

'Bo Peep or
Shepherd, come back.'

You don't mind if I get
this, do you, Rosco?

No, go ahead, but hurry it up.

After all, this is the
sheriff's department.

Lost sheep this is Bo
Peep. Come on, come on.

Say hello from Rosco.

Hey, Daisy, this is Luke here.

'We've been tryin' to call you
because of a new development.'

We found out them Beaudrys
made off with one of Boss' stills.

- What? Swiped my still?
- Ooh.

Where are you fellas now?

We got a feeling they
may know somethin'

about Uncle Jesse's accident.
So we're hot on their trail.

Say, how's Uncle
Jesse doin' anyways?

- I'll let him tell you himself.
- Give me that.

Yeah.

This is Shepherd. Listen,
I'm doin' just fine, just fine.

Now, listen, you boys be
careful with them Beaudrys.

They're sneaky and they're mean.

That's a big - , Uncle Jesse.

- We're down and gone.
- That's who framed me!

- The Beaudrys.
- Oh, good grief.

Listen, listen! The old
geezer! I remember now.

He was standin' right next
to me after the accident.

Jesse, he was the
one who slipped 'em

parts of yours into my pocket.

- You mean, Pa Beaudry?
- Why would he do that?

Wasn't you listenin'?

To get me out of the way,
so he could swipe my still.

- Oh.
- Oh!

Rosco, let me outta
here. I gotta go after 'em.

Take your chubby little
hands off my dry goods.

I cannot let you out of there

even if I wanted
to, which I don't!

Rosco, I'm tellin' you the truth.
Why won't you believe me?

Because I know
how well you can lie.

It's like the story of
that boy who yelled wolf

once too often, Mr. Hogg.
You remember that one?

Oh, I remember. Ooh,
tell him that one, Enos.

That's a good story.
That's one of my favorites.

- Well, once upon a time..
- 'Come on, Daisy.'

- He'd always cry "wolf!"
- 'Don't do that!'

Enos, you know better
than to yell "wolf" like that.

It's scary like that.
Just say "wolf.."

'Well, this little boy kept
saying he saw a wolf..'

Daisy, this whole
thing's gettin' out of hand.

We gotta find out once and
for all if J.D's guilty or innocent.

Now, do you still remember
the way out to the Beaudrys?

Sure I do, but I'm
not taking you there.

I'm taking you home
and you're gonna rest.

Now, I'll just be ridin'
while you're drivin'.

And if Bo and Luke think
the Beaudrys got the answers

they're gonna have
to have help gettin' it.

Now, we'll just stop by
the house on the way out

and I'll pick up my
squirrel g*n, just in case.

- Alright?
- I'll tell you what's alright.

There's no holdin'
you down, is there?

Let's see if I remember right.

The Beaudrys' shack
is just on the other side

of the Chattahoochee
Valley, isn't it?

- Your mind's like a steel trap.
- Thank you.

We oughta be comin'
to the turnoff any minute.

Yeah, once we get
there, just be careful.

Remember those
Beaudrys are a handful.

Ah, don't worry. I'll take
care of Pa and Sledge.

Great, then I'll...
take care of Milo.

Thanks a lot.

Last time he hit me, I-I
didn't wake up for a week.

Alright. Here's the turnoff.

Let me out! Let me out!
Let me out! I was framed!

Let me out! Let
me out! Let me out!

- Uh, let me out of here.
- Sheriff, I've been thinkin'...

- That's your first mistake.
- 'Let me out of here!

You know, I saw Mr. Hogg
at the car but I didn't

actually see him do anything
except bump his head.

Enos, are you now tryin'
to tell me, you think that

little fat meadow-muffin
in there is innocent?

I don't know, sheriff.
Possum on a gum bush.

All I know is a man's
whole future is at stake.

You can't do this to me.
I'm a taxpayer and a voter

and you can't lock me
up in no sardine can!

Silence in the cell block!

Alright, let's go over
the evidence again.

Let me out of here!
Let me out of here!

'Looking under
the hood of the car.'

'He was lookin' under the hood.'

'Lookin' under the hood
and I said, "Mr. Hogg.."'

I want out! I want out!

Oh, what the heck.
You're right, I give up.

I'm not talkin' about his head.
I'm talkin' about, did he put

anything mechanical in the car
that could've made it go faster

could've made it go slower,
know what I'm talkin' about?

'I did not see him
do nothing, sir.'

Hush, Flash, you've
had your comfort stop.

He's trying to
escape. Get him, Enos.

Well, get up!

I gotta clear my name.

If nobody will help
me. I gotta do it myself.

Freeze!

Golly, who'd ever think
Mr. Hogg would be a fugitive!

You thought he was
innocent, you dipstick.

He's not only a
jail-breaker, he's a car thief.

Get in that vehicle.
We're in hot pursuit.

Gosh, I just love hot pursuit.

Turn on the gumballs!

I gotta go find 'em.
Hey, wait a minute.

That car! No, wait a
minute, wait a minute!

Well, it ain't April Fool,
and I ain't got no fever..

But I am rootin' for Boss Hogg.

A-ah!

Oh! Oh. Oh.

Hey! Hey!

Driving in Hazzard can
be highly stimulating.

And by the this time,
the Beaudrys was arriving

at their hideout in the hills

and settin' up
Boss' swiped still.

We did it, Pa. Just
like you figured.

Sure is a beauty.

Get your paws
off that thing, Milo.

Yeah, we don't want you
to blow this one up, too.

- Don't tell me...
- Hey, you cut it out now, boys!

Cut it out!

Come on, boys.
Let's get this thing in

and get ourselves back
into business. Come on.

Meantime, Bo and Luke
was gettin' closer and closer.

While quite a way's back
was Daisy and Jesse.

And behind them in the parade
came Boss with Rosco and Enos

in hot pursuit.

This is Rosco P. Coltrane,
calling a little fat fugitive.

'I want you to pull
it over. I mean now.'

Yeah? And I'm tellin'
you to take a flyin' jump

into a dry creek!

You are an escaped convict,
and it's my duty to apprehend you.

You ain't gonna sh**t
Mr. Hogg now, are you?

I'm gonna sh**t
out his front tire.

Wait a minute.

Oh, no, no. Oh, no!

Alright there, freeze!

- We've got you!
- Hands up!

What did you do to
me? Oh, look at that!

You're alright. Never mind that.

- Get your hands off of me.
- Put your hands over here.

Oh, stop it. Stop it!

You're tickling me.

You're tickling..
Roscoe, please, wait.

I beg of you. For old time's
sake, go after them Beaudrys.

- Oh, and at least question 'em.
- Tiddly-tuddly.

He ain't askin' too much,
sheriff. Why don't we?

- I beg of you.
- Oh, alright!

- Oh.
- Just this once.

But remember,
you're still my prisoner.

Bless you, Rosco. Bless you.

- Alright, never mind.
- Come on, let's hurry.

Let's hurry. Hurry! Hurry!

Come on, come on, get in.

Get in. Don't waste
a minute, will you?

I gotta go and
prove my innocence.

Come on! Come on!

Bo, we oughta be gettin' close.

What are we gonna
do once we get there?

We stash the General
and sneak up on 'em.

If we can get one
of them alone..

Well, hopefully, we're
smarter than they are.

We could trick 'em into
talkin' about the accident.

Good idea. We get Milo.

You hear that, boys?
We got us visitors.

- Let's go get 'em.
- Come on! Come on!

- You big dummy!
- Hey, shut up!

Ah, those dang revenuer traps.

Come on, let's get
the heck out of here.

- Got it?
- Yeah, I got it.

- Let's get going.
- Alright.

And while the Beaudrys
was a-huntin' for the boys

the boys was a-huntin'
for the Beaudrys.

Daisy and Jesse was
climbin' up into the hills.

Better take it easy, Daisy.
We could be gettin' close.

Well, they sure didn't waste
any time settin' that still up.

sh**t, what are we gonna do?

How are we supposed to grab
one of 'em when they ain't there?

I know a sure-fire
way to flush out..

An old moonshine maker
like Pa Beaudry and his boys.

- Alright.
- Just get rid of the still.

- It's the still!
- Wasn't me.

Come on, boys!

That was an expl*si*n,
and it wasn't too far off.

Yeah. It sounds like it
came from over there.

Let's go.

Come on! Let's go!

That sure flushed
them out, alright.

That ain't all it flushed
out. Look over there.

- Stay down, now.
- Good sh*t.

- What are you doing here?
- You're supposed to be sick.

We were looking for the
still. And heard you find it.

- We found it, alright.
- We found it real good.

Come on, Milo. Get
some water, boy!

Get some water!

Milo, get some water!

Just what we wanted.
Milo's off by himself.

The other two can't see
him. Let's go grab him.

Bo, ain't you forgetting
something? We tried that once.

- 'Daisy.'
- Yeah?

You ever heard the one about how

you can catch more flies with
honey than you can with vinegar?

Oh, now, Luke..

- Willing to give it a sh*t?
- You bet.

- No, I...
- That's what we came here for.

Besides, I got a score
to settle with this fella.

- You only got a couple minutes.
- We'll be here if you need us.

He's as dumb as he
is big, so be careful.

Shh! Come on, let's follow her.

Alright, alright. We're
almost there, ain't we?

Yeah, I recognize this route.

Yeah, come on! Don't slow
down now, would you? Come on!

Psst! Milo!

- Daisy!
- Shh!

What are you doing here?
If pa saw you, he'd get mad!

I know. My cousins would
get furious with me, too.

- But, Milo..
- Yeah?

I missed you.

I wanted to see you.

- You ain't bugged at me?
- Oh, Milo.

I thought about you,
and I thought about how..

How... how big you are.

And strong.

And smart too.

- I am?
- Oh, yeah.

I mean, yeah, yeah.

Milo! Where in tarnation
is that water, boy?

Oh, coming, pa!

Milo, when I realized it was you

who set up Boss
Hogg for that accident..

'...I realized I lost
a real smart man.'

Yeah, well, it was
Pa's idea really.

But wasn't it a doozy, though?

Taking 'em parts off that car

and sticking them in that
feller Hogg's pocket. Shh!

How about that? Boss
was telling the truth.

Yeah, he was right
and we was wrong.

Milo's our star witness.

Let's get him and
get out of here fast.

- Okay, be quiet.
- Alright.

Sure are cute.

Listen, I better get
back with the water.

Yeah.

- Will you wait here, Daisy gal?
- Oh, Milo, I'll wait.

Milo..

One word, and
it'll be your last.

Just talking.

- Let's get out of here.
- Come on, let's move.

Stop right there, you varmints.

And drop that g*n.

Milo, you leave my
cousin alone! I mean it!

Watch it! Watch it!

Come on, come on.

We're lucky to be in one
piece. Alright, where are they?

What happened? What happened?

The Beaudrys is getting
away. Where'd they go?

- What? What's going on here?
- We got Milo to talk.

It turns out the Beaudrys
sabotaged Uncle Jesse's car.

- Oh, they admitted it!
- Yeah, yeah, they did.

- Rosco, I told you.
- Let's get out of here.

We told you, sheriff.

Enos, don't just stand there,
get after those Beaudrys.

But, sheriff, you
broke my patrol car.

Oh, dag blast it!

- Come on, Milo, you big dummy!
- Come on, get in here!

'Let's get on out of
here, boys. Come on!'

'You did it again,
didn't you, Milo?'

- 'You did it again, you big... '
- 'Oh, shut up!'

Why don't we fight 'em, pa?
Why are we running away?

You're forgetting
our booby trap, boy.

Yeah, I'm gonna lead these
there Duke boys right on into them.

And that'll be the end of them.

What they slowing down for?

I don't know, but
keep a sharp lookout.

Go around.

That's why they
was slowing down.

They was leading us
right into a revenuer trap.

Bet they're trying
to lead us to another.

Gotta spot it before
they get us there.

Oh, dag blast it!

Well, this here next one, we're
gonna be getting them for sure.

Looks like they're heading
toward that clump of spruce.

The minute he veers
off-line, we take him.

Ready? Now.

Get out of my way! N-o-o!

'Get us out of here. Come
on. What's he doing?'

Looks like the Beaudrys' trap
done caught them, huh, Luke?

I have to give an
assist to the General.

Yeah.

Where are we, pa?

And so the Dukes
solved the mystery

of who sabotaged Jesse's car.

Boss got out of jail, and
the Beaudrys was put in.

What's going on here?

Now, let's see how
you like being a jailbird..

And just wait till
you try the food.

Oh, Daisy, I'm so
grateful to you. Thank you.

What passes for Boss'
good name was cleared..

Thanks to the Dukes.

But as soon he got
through thanking them..

Rosco, what the
heck are you doing?

Oh my, oh my!

It looks like you're getting
a ticket for illegal parking.

Boss, you saw him roll it
in here, same as we did.

Still, you're breaking the
law, so you'll have to pay for it.

You've got to be kidding.

J.D., you mean after
all we've been through

you're going back to
your crooked ways?

Like I always told you,
Jesse, it's in my nature.

I can't change.
Write 'em up, Rosco!

There are some things
that just don't change..

Even in Hazzard.