03x06 - Dummy Dearest

Episode transcripts for the TV show "L. A. Law". Aired: September 15, 1986 – May 19, 1994.*
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High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.
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03x06 - Dummy Dearest

Post by bunniefuu »

previously on l.a. Law...

Are you at all familiar
with the canon of ethics

As it pertains to an
attorney's obligation

When he discovers the
unauthorized practice of law?

When he's aware of the
ongoing commission of a crime?

Forgive me, your honor,

But I didn't think my
client should be victimized

By this man's fraud.

I'm declaring this a mistrial.

And I'm referring you to
the disciplinary committee

Of the bar association.

You can tell them how you were
trying to serve the interests of justice.

Do you think there might be
another way to go about this?

Tell me how.

Once we have the baby, does it
really matter where we got it?

Adoption?

I think we ought
to give it a sh*t.

And you take this
good care of everyone?

No. Truth is, I don't.

But I've got a wicked
crush on you, abigail.

You might as well know it.

Oh, boy.

Ms. Wyler, I admire
your determination.

But I'm wondering if you've
forgotten what it's like

To be a junior associate.

Compared to my divorce,
let me tell you, it's nothing.

Anyway, I'm sure you're
not that interested

In my personal life.

Thank you for your
time, mr. Brackman.

Ms. Wyler...

I have to talk to my partners,

But would you be
able start monday?

Mckenzie, brackman,
chaney & kuzak.

Yes.

Yes, I'll connect you.

Mckenzie, brackman,
chaney & kuzak.

One moment, please.

What are you looking at, waldo?

You're making him talk.

Oh, you guys are going
to get along just great.

You're both dummies.

Hey, waldo, have
another doughnut.

Why settle for tubby
when you could be fat?

What's the matter, waldo, huh?

Cat got your tongue?

Stop it! Stop calling me waldo.

My name is benny.

Sorry, benny.

Mr. Peterson?

That's us, ace.

Come on in.

Hey, waldo, did you
hear about the moron

Who ate the refrigerator bulb?

He wanted to have a light lunch.

Heh heh heh heh!

Before we begin, for those
of you who haven't met her,

I'd like to introduce ms.
Dorothy wyler, our new associate,

Who begins employment
with us today.

Ms. Wyler will initially be
concentrating on corporate matters,

And all assignments to her
are to be channeled through me.

First item up, a reminder to
all that the christmas party

Will commence at the
close of business thursday.

A further reminder that
business concludes at : p.m.

Ho ho ho, dougie.

Feel free to invite your clients

To share in the holiday cheer,

Provided they've generated

Over hours of
business this year

And their accounts are
not over days past due.

Stuart, I trust you've
taken care of catering?

On a less jolly note,

Where do we stand with
your inquisition, michael?

I'm appearing before the
disciplinary committee this morning

With the able victor
sifuentes at my side.

They wouldn't levy a fine
against the firm, would they?

They don't levy fines, doug.

My guess is a private censure.

What happens to
what's-his-name... Mathers?

He's up on criminal
charges for fraud,

Impersonating a lawyer.

Last I heard, he got
an expedited trial,

And he's representing himself.

How incompetent could he be

If he got himself
an expedited trial?

Moving on, people vs. Peterson.

In the twilight zone.

This guy's charged with
assaulting a police officer,

Resisting arrest.

He'll only talk through a
nasty little dummy named gilbert.

The guy's a
certifiable kookaboo.

Well, you're going to have to use
the well-known kookaboo defense.

Seriously, leland, I
don't know what to do.

I waltz this guy into
court without his dummy,

I don't have a case.

I waltz in with the dummy,

They laugh me out
of the courthouse.

I'm not unmindful of the degree
of difficulty here, jonathan.

We're all aware of kenny peterson's
extensive psychiatric history

And the unfortunate
event which precipitated it,

But his father is one of
our more prized clients.

And I've assured peterson, sr.

That his son will be vigorously

And successfully
defended in this matter.

I trust you'll accomplish this

In your inimitable fashion.

- I'll do my best.
- Mm-hmm. Good. Good.

Move along, douglas.

Amanda shaw vs. The
national informer.

The settlement offer
was up to $ , .

Amanda takes the stand today.

If you ask me, I'd take the .

Celebrities almost
never win libel cases.

We're talking about an actress

With an image purer
than ivory soap...

An image completely
destroyed by lies they printed.

So? She should run with it.

Enjoy all the controversy,

Move up to something r-rated,

Get away from those
g-rated musicals.

I'll mention it to her.

Finally, masterson
vs. Omni american.

Trial starts next week.

I'm going to need
some backup on that.

Whatever you need.

Dorothy, coordinate
with michael.

Stuart, maybe you could jump
in to crunch some numbers?

- No problem.
- Let's not blow this one.

Aside from this case
bringing in major revenue,

This is a real chance to show that we
can handle sophisticated antitrust cases

As well as the big boys.

Jack masterson
still pleased, michael?

Yeah. So far, so
good. He loves me.

Yes? Well, on that megalomaniac
reflection, we're adjourned.

Ann. Hang on. Stuart.

News on the adoption front.

I've got you in
with ross burnett,

Wednesday, : , his office.

You're kidding.

I thought there was a
six-month wait for this guy.

There is, but I pulled a few
strings for him on his divorce

And he owes me one.

But it's just a meeting, right?

We're not committed to anything.

Look, I think he assumes
you're ready to go forward.

What's the charge?

- , .
- What?

Look, ann, they
don't give them away.

I don't want to
feel like a couple

Of over-privileged adults
who go out and buy a baby

The way you got
out and buy a car.

Look, you're paying ross
for his legal services,

The birth mother for her
rent and medical expenses...

It's totally legitimate.

The other thing to remember

She that she has the
right to take the baby back

Any time until the
consent form is signed.

- How long is that?
- About six months.

Six months.

Ann, we're going to take
it one step at a time, okay?

Okay.

Okay, we're in business then.

Thanks.

Kuzak.

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd lend
you my support.

In exchange for what?

You doing the same.

I testify for you,
you testify for me.

Very symmetrical, no?

No.

He'd be helping me out.

Hey, don't look at me.

Mike.

I'm sorry, but I don't
want you to be my witness,

And I certainly don't
want to be yours.

The first part of
that is up to you.

The second part's up to me.

Here's your subpoena.

If you could get there by : ,

That would be great.

As the evidence
clearly has established,

Michael kuzak violated
disciplinary rule

In aiding the unauthorized
practice of law.

If the committee please...

In order to assess
mr. Kuzak's ethical conduct,

I believe it first necessary to
appreciate the circumstances

Under which it occurred.

In other words,
you got an excuse.

The discovery that richard
mathers was unlicensed

To practice law came more
than halfway through the trial.

The issue here is that
the court didn't learn of it

Until after the verdict

And then from only
mr. Mathers himself.

If you could just stand back
from the code one moment,

I think that you'll see that
the only motivation here

Was a fair settlement.

We don't stand back from
the code, mr. Sifuentes.

- We enforce it.
- I understand that, ma'am.

Furthermore, this
isn't some nitpicking

Technical violation
we're talking about.

These charges indicate
conduct in direct violation

Of a lawyer's obligation
as an officer of the court.

All mike kuzak did was try to
avoid having richard mathers' fraud

Force his client into
protracted litigation

At considerable further expense.

That's not the concern
of this committee.

Well, with all due
respect, maybe it should be.

If the only question here

Is did I or did I not
violate the code,

Let's stop wasting
each others' time.

I did.

But you only talk about
a lawyer's obligation

As an officer of the court.

What about my
obligation to my client?

Your first loyalty
is to the legal system.

The purpose of which
is to administer justice.

Richard mathers was a
highly skilled practitioner.

There's no argument about that.

Mr. Kuzak and he
went head to head.

Both clients received skilled,
uncompromised representation.

Tell me what that
is if not justice.

And you in fact read this article on
that day it was published, correct?

It wasn't even two weeks
after my daughter's death.

I had just buried my little girl

When I picked up that paper

And read those lies.

Could you tell us exactly
what the lies were, miss shaw?

They said... They printed that I
was having sexual intercourse

With elena's boyfriend,
her -year-old boyfriend,

And that when elena
found out about it,

That's when she
took the overdose.

I know it's painful,

But I'd like you to try describe

The humiliation you felt.

Humiliation? They
said I was sleeping

With my teenage
daughter's boyfriend,

That I helped cause her su1c1de.

That goes way, way
beyond humiliation.

Do you think that I'm
sitting in this chair right now

Because I feel humiliated?

Has there been any public
reaction to this article?

I get letters every day,

Letters calling me
perverted, twisted, sick.

My friends have all backed away

Because they feel that
if they've printed that,

There must be something to it.

What about the
professional reaction?

As far as the studios are
concerned, I make people sick.

I'm the repulsive mother

Who screwed her
daughter's teenage boyfriend.

Would you want me
on your marquee?

Thank you. Nothing further.

I take it from your testimony

That you did not have
sex with michael lyons.

Of course I didn't.

Yet you were physically
attracted to him, were you not?

No. He was my
daughter's boyfriend.

Did you not refer to him
in a talk show interview

As being fabulously
handsome and sexy?

I was talking about my daughter,

And how wonderful michael
and she were together...

And you said that he
was handsome and sexy.

Yes, but i...

Did you ever kiss this
sexy guy, miss shaw?

Romantically, no.

The question is have you
ever kissed michael lyons?

You mean have I ever kissed
him hello or goodbye? Yes.

Did he ever swim with you
naked in your backyard pool?

I'm sorry, did you not
hear the question?

You're taking that
out of context.

That was a party where
a couple of the kids

Ended up going skinny dipping.

Including you and this
fabulously sexy teenager,

Completely naked.

I had my suit on

And I got out the minute
they took theirs off!

I'm sure you did.

Ma'am, on february nd, ,

When your daughter
was away on a ski trip,

Did michael lyons spend
the night at your house?

He had a fight with his father

And his mother
called me and asked me

If I would put him
up for one night.

Your suggestion is completely...

All I am suggesting
is that it's possible

For people to get
the wrong idea.

No! It is not possible!

Ma'am, you publicly declared your
attraction for him on a talk show.

You kissed him, you hugged him,

You spent the night alone
with him in your house.

You are a bastard!

- Miss shaw.
- I'm sorry, miss shaw.

I'm just demonstrating
how it looks...

To me... Right now,

And how it looked to my client

When he published that article.

Move to strike the
speech, your honor.

I'll withdraw it.

Nothing further.

What happened next, officer?

I pulled him over and
started writing up the citation,

When this dummy strapped into
a car seat starts ridiculing me.

The dummy was ridiculing you?

Well, peterson, but he was
doing it through the dummy.

So what did you do?

I warned him to stop. He didn't.

And when he became verbally
abusive, I impounded the dummy

And attempted to place it in my
trunk of my unit for safekeeping.

That's then he jumped on me.

Mr. Peterson?

Right. He just came
at me like a madman.

So I said, "that's
it, you're busted."

Then he really went berserk...

Knocked me down and
started pummeling me.

Did mr. Peterson
injure you, sir?

Chipped teeth,
stitches in my forehead...

I was on disability two weeks.

Thank you, sir. Nothing further.

Why did you grab the dummy, sir?

Excuse me?

You said that prior to
my client attacking you,

You grabbed the dummy.

I'm asking you why.

You should have heard
what it was calling me.

I mean, I know it was
peterson, but it was through...

Well, if you knew if
it was mr. Peterson,

Why did you grab the dummy?

I don't know. I was agitated.

I lost my head, and
out of impulse...

So at the time of this arrest,
your mental facilities were impaired,

And you were acting impulsively?

I didn't say that.

Well, what did you say?

I'm saying, if you
had been there...

Ha! He's got that
pig squirming now.

Objection!

You see, that's what
I had to put up with.

You broke my arm,
you infected grunt!

I should have broke your head!

- Hey!
- Mr. Rollins...

I'd thank you to
control your client.

And, officer jordan,
would you please refrain

From addressing the puppet?

What did you do with the
dummy after you grabbed it, sir?

I just put it away
for safekeeping.

You stuck me in your
trunk of your car, you n*zi!

That's it! Bailiff,
confiscate that thing.

Your honor, I object!

My client cannot communicate

Without that dummy, judge.

If you remove it
for his possession,

You strip his ability
to confer with counsel,

To contribute to
his own defense,

And he'd be incompetent
to stand trial.

You've got to be kidding.

This is a joke.

He's sane and
mr. Rollins knows it.

The idea that mr. Peterson thinks
this dummy is real is ridiculous.

Is it? The last
minutes alone,

We've all individualized it.

You objected to it twice.

Your witness here
threatened to break its head.

And you, your honor,
want to take it into custody.

Imagine how kenny
peterson thinks of it

Having lived his
whole life with it.

Look, you want to
plead temporary insanity

Or self-defense here, fine.

But I won't have your client

And his imaginary friend
disrupting my courtroom.

Now we'll adjourn
until tomorrow.

In the meantime, get your
client to clean up his act!

, And... And I'm .

We brought resumes...

Educational and professional
vitae, that sort of thing.

Religion?

- Protestant.
- And jewish.

And the baby? How
will you raise it?

We thought we'd just do

A menorah and a christmas
tree, that sort of thing.

- Is that an issue?
- Sometimes.

Some birth mothers request a
certain religion, others don't care.

And you plan on working
full-time after the baby is born?

Part-time, probably.

We have the money, so...

Would you consider a black baby?

Stuart?

Um...

I don't know, uh... How
do you feel about it?

I just want to know
your requirements.

I feed the data into a computer.

Birth mothers tell
me what they want.

I try to make a match.

Uh, white.

We want a white baby.

I'll get this information
out to attorneys,

To doctors, to high
school gym teachers,

To anyone who might
know a birth mother.

I'll need pictures... Happy
pictures of you two together.

Do you have a dog?

Should we get one?

Birth mothers like
dogs in the pictures,

What can I tell you?

We'll get a dog.

When I find a birth mother
who seems right for you,

I'll give her your phone numbers

And she'll call you collect.

Make a list of questions.
Write them down.

People tend to forget
everything when the call happens.

And take the call, no
matter what's going on.

I should probably
get back to court.

Ann, the call will come for you.

Considering the circumstances,

These girls generally have
no use for men right now.

Be open and honest.

Tell her how much
you want to have a baby.

Let her know how
vulnerable you feel.

Above all, don't cut the
conversation short for anything...

Not even if you have
to get back to court.

Okay.

Mr. Kuzak, in the period of
time that we were adversaries,

You observed me conducting
some depositions.

You heard me argue
pretrial motions.

You watched me pick a jury.

You sat across from
me during days of trial.

What kind of lawyer am i?

Competent.

Competent?

Tell us, how many attorneys did barry
and nina toland have prior to hiring me?

I believe they had three.

Three different
bona fide attorneys,

Licensed to practice law
in the state of california.

What settlement offer, if any,

Was on the table
during that time?

None.

Two months after I
had come into the case,

How had that changed?

Mr. Tecowsky's insurance carrier

Authorized throwing in
the proceeds of the policy.

Which amounted to how much?

Half a million dollars.

I guess they thought I
was competent, too, huh?

- Objection.
- Sustained.

Mr. Kuzak, around
december st of this year,

You approached me with this
same half million dollar offer

And one additional
piece of information...

Namely that you knew I was
not licensed to practice law.

What was my reaction to that?

You turned it down.

And what reason did
I give for doing so?

You said you wouldn't sell
your client out to save yourself.

Thank you. I have no
further questions.

What did you do
when you found out

That mr. Mathers
wasn't a lawyer?

Objection. Irrelevant.

Goes to credibility, your honor.

This witness perpetrated
a fraud upon the court

For which he is now under
investigation by the state bar.

I move to strike that!
That's prejudicial and...

Both of you settle down.

The witness can
answer the question.

I confronted
mr. Mathers directly.

So you tried to convert
it to your advantage?

- Argumentative.
- Sustained.

Tell me, sir,

What is the status of
toland vs. Tecowsky now?

It's been settled.

Is that right?

Did the plaintiffs engage
new counsel so soon?

The parties reached an
agreement between themselves.

Did you have conversations
with mr. Mathers

Subsequent to his arrest as to
what that agreement might be?

We set certain parameters.
I advised tecowsky.

I assume he did the
same with the tolands.

And how did you
two boys make out?

I object, your honor

District attorney is
slinging mud against the wall

And hoping something sticks.

That's funny, mr. Mathers,
because with the two of you

It seems that
something always does.

That's quite
sufficient, thank you.

Tell me, mr. Kuzak,

Is your testifying on
behalf of mr. Mathers

Part of the settlement
arrangement?

I'm here under subpoena.

Naturally. I'm sure the
two of you are well-versed

At avoiding the
appearance of collusion.

I never had any romantic
thing with her mother.

That was a total lie.

Did anyone from the
national informer contact you

Prior to publishing
this article?

No. Never.

Michael, what was
your relationship

With amanda shaw?

She was my girlfriend's mother.

Were we close? Probably.

Lovers? No. That's ridiculous.

Totally ridiculous.

Thank you, michael.
Nothing further.

Mr. Lyons, you and elena

Were boyfriend and
girlfriend for how long?

Almost two years.

You were in love?

Yes.

Were you ever unfaithful to her?

Once. But it wasn't
with her mother.

This was about a month
before elena's death.

Is that correct?

It was one incident and it
was all straightened out.

I'm sure it was.

Mr. Lyons, did you ever have private
discussions with elena's mother

About elena's mental well-being?

We talked about her depression.

She wanted me to help
convince elena to get counseling.

And how did elena feel about
these discussions with mrs. Shaw?

She wasn't happy about it.

In fact, she shouted at
you at school one day

To stop going behind
her back to her mother.

Isn't that correct?

Elena was real upset about
a lot of things. She had...

So, as I understand it,

About a month before
elena took her own life,

She was upset about
your cheating on her

At approximately the same time

That she was openly screaming at
you to stay away from her mother.

Is that a fair understanding?

You're making it
sound like something

Completely different
than what it was.

Oh, I see. So what you're
saying is that it is possible

To misinterpret
the circumstances?

Yes.

Thank you, mr. Lyons.

Nothing further.

And what exactly did your
source tell you, mr. Bellini?

That a romantic affair existed

Between the boy and mrs. Shaw.

And you were satisfied that
this information was accurate?

Well, he had been
accurate in the past.

It jibed with all the circumstantial
evidence we collected.

I had no reason to believe
the story was not true.

And, accordingly, we
decided to run the piece.

Thank you.

No further questions.

Who told you about this
so-called affair, mr. Bellini?

A reporter is not required
to reveal his sources.

That's my right under
the state constitution.

You're absolutely correct.

But you also have the right

To disclose your
source if you so desire.

And since your neck
is on the cutting block

Of a $ million lawsuit here,

I would think
you'd want to prove

That this informant
really exists.

Or would that compromise
your journalistic integrity?

I told my source I'd protect his
identity, and I stick to my word.

Are you telling this
court and this jury

That it's your game plan to
exalt the rights of a blatant liar

Over those of an
innocent victim?

You say he's a liar.

I've put seven witnesses
up here saying he was a liar.

- Who have you got
to say he's not?
- Your honor!

I'm a professional reporter.

I check my sources.
I verify my...

Did you check with amanda
shaw before printing this article?

She didn't return my calls.

Did you check with michael
lyons before running this article?

I figured he'd deny it.

And why ruin a good story
with the facts, huh, mr. Bellini?

There's plenty of
facts we didn't print.

I was told she was
pregnant with the kid's baby

And had to have an abortion.

- What?!
- Sit down, mrs. Shaw.

But I didn't print that.

I couldn't verify
it, so I didn't print it.

Because you're such a decent
and honorable man, right?

- Objection.
- Here is a file
containing every article

You've published in the
last two years, mr. Bellini.

Find me one single piece that doesn't
bash the reputation of a celebrity.

These are all legitimate
stories that I wrote.

Find me one that doesn't bash
the reputation of a celebrity.

I do investigative expose work.

That's what I do.

That's what you do.

No further questions.

Mr. Sifuentes, do you
have anything to say

Before we render our decision?

Only that it has never
been our intention

To minimize the importance
of ethical standards.

I've simply tried to make
the committee aware

Of the difficulty of
mr. Kuzak's situation.

Now, mike's record both as a
prosecutor and in private practice

Has been exemplary.

I would just hope that his
actions be taken in context.

Mr. Kuzak, your
council has argued

That the actions
of richard mathers

Justify your own.

Doesn't work that way.

What he did constitutes fraud.

What you did constitutes
devious and unethical behavior

Utterly at odds with
our code of conduct.

Now, since mr. Mathers
isn't an attorney,

He is beyond the
limits of our authority.

You, sir, are not.

We are your peers.

We speak for our profession,

And we condemn what you did.

Our recommendation to
the state bar association

Is that you be publicly censured

And suspended from
the practice of law

For a period of not
less than one month,

Effective immediately.

A month?

That's right,
mr. Kuzak. A month.

Well, I'm going to
sleep a lot better

Knowing that the
members of this committee

Are there to pass
out pronouncements

On the correctness
of my conduct,

Especially when they don't
allow themselves to be distracted

By the specifics
of the situation.

If your contempt for the
committee is any indication, sir,

I fully expect this will not be

The last time
we'll be seeing you.

We're going to fight this out

With the bar
association in court.

Let's see how smug these
fat-assed rotarians are

After they've gone a few
rounds with a litigator.

- No.
- What do you mean "no"?

Bottom line: you
broke the rules, mike.

We tried to put the best
face on it that we could

And this is the
way it came down.

What are you saying? You
think that they're right?

Yeah.

And if you want
my recommendation

Both as your friend and
as your lawyer right now,

I'm gonna tell you to take your
medicine and be glad it's not worse.

Kenneth peterson was kidnapped
when he was less than years old.

He was thrown into
the trunk of a car

And driven around for days

In a state of virtually
total sensory deprivation.

And from that time,
he has never spoken.

But, dr. Shale,
everybody in this room

Has heard him talk
through the dummy.

But psychologically,
that's not really kenny.

In lay terms, that's a
separate personality

That he's created to
protect his real self.

Protect his real self from what?

From the outside world.

It's called atypical
dissociative disorder,

And it's usually brought on
by an early childhood trauma.

- Such as kidnapping?
- Exactly.

And this makes people
become ventriloquists?

When a child won't talk,

We try to get him to
talk through a doll.

I've treated kenny
from about age until ,

At which time he refused
any further treatment.

And what's the prognosis
for him now, dr. Shale?

Well, it's impossible to
say with any certainty,

But unless kenny somehow develops
a greater trust in the outside world

Or faces his trauma
through treatment,

I'd say his chances of reconstituting
his personality are slim.

And do you think he poses
a thr*at to society, sir?

No.

The only reason he
became violent that night

Was because he felt
gilbert was being threatened.

When he saw gilbert being thrown
into the trunk of that cruiser,

It recalled his own
terrifying experience

And he probably just snapped.

Thank you, dr. Shale.
Nothing further.

Doctor, are you
saying this guy's insane?

No. I'm talking about a
basically functional man

Who has withdrawn into
a private fantasy world.

Then he knows this dummy
isn't real, doesn't he?

Yes, I think he does.

Then why did you always
talk to me, you fruitcake?

- You know I'm real.
- Kenny...

Get your hands off of me. You
should be objecting to this quack.

Mr. Peterson...

Hey, judgie boy, get
with the program.

Kenny's the dummy here.
He's the one who doesn't talk.

- Your honor...
- Mr. Peterson!

Go ahead. Don't be such a wimp.

Say something. I dare you.

Show us you're not
a lost cause, kenny.

Give us a word... One
well-chosen word.

I rest my case.

This guy is hopeless.

And so are you.

Everyone in my chambers... Now.

So, how the hell did you
ever get to be a judge?

Gilbert, I swear, if
you don't shut up,

I'll roast your
chestnuts on an open fire.

- Ha!
- It's clear to me
that we're dealing with

Some pretty extraordinary
circumstances here,

But I can't have
this guy going crazy

Every time the trunk
of a car slams shut.

- He's not dangerous, judge.
- He b*at up a cop.

You heard the psychiatrist.

It was a unique and
threatening situation.

Look, kenny.

Gilbert.

All right. Gilbert.

If I let kenny go,

Can you promise me he'll
resume his treatment?

What am i, his keeper?

Yes, in a manner of
speaking, you are.

I want your word
that you and kenny

Will go back to getting therapy.

Otherwise he's
going to jail... Alone.

Do you understand?

Ah... All right.

Criminy.

Mr. Rollins, I'm going to continue
this matter without a finding

For one year,

After which I'll
drop the charges

If he stays with the treatment.

That's all. We're done.

I'll enter this
matter in the record.

You can all go.

You were pathetic.

What's up?

Masterson pulled out.

He what?

He's going to crea,
leitner, and farrell.

Why?

He's afraid a federal judge

Who thinks he's first
cousin to god almighty

Might just be a little suspicious
of whatever it is you have to say.

And you know something?

Under the circumstances,
I can't says I blame him.

I'm numb.

Yeah, well...

Before it gets any worse,
assuming such a thing is possible,

We have to take some steps.

Well, I suggest you start
by speaking to victor.

He seems to think that we should
go gently into that good night.

I have spoken to victor.

I believe he is
absolutely correct.

And I intend to honor that
suspension recommendation

To the letter.

Go home, michael.

Your very presence
in these offices

Compromises this entire firm.

You're not gonna
stand up for me?

Oh, damn it, michael.

You kept your mouth
shut about mathers

Without so much as a
word of consultation.

You were wrong,

And everybody here
is now paying for that.

And if you expect us all
just to fall in line behind you,

Well, I suggest you've
overestimated your own importance.

I can't come back to
the office for a month?

Not anywhere near it.

This newspaper printed
malicious, devastating lies,

Lies that destroyed amanda
shaw's professional career.

Lies which caused
her emotional pain

That will haunt her
for the rest of her life.

And as if that isn't bad enough,

They're here now standing proud,

Cloaking themselves
in the first amendment...

Freedom of expression,
freedom of the press,

The fundamental principles
that america stands for.

But the constitution doesn't
say you can disregard the truth

And obliterate the
reputation of innocent people.

They accused her of having sex

With her daughter's
teenage boyfriend.

They said that she contributed
to her daughter's su1c1de.

That's vicious.

That's devoid of
any human decency.

And don't you dare
endorse their suggestion

That that is what
america stands for.

Don't you dare
accept their notion

That it's this kind of freedom
that makes this country great,

Because everyone
in this room knows

They printed that trash

For the sole purpose of
selling more newspapers

At the checkout stand.

And all the flag waving in the
world won't change the fact

That they sacrificed an
innocent, grieving mother

For the sake of
corporate profit,

And that is abhorrent.

They think they know
what america stands for.

Show them what
we don't stand for.

In order for amanda
shaw to prevail here,

She has to prove that
the national informer

Recklessly
published that article

When they knew or
should have known

That it was false.

Michael lyons was having
an affair with someone.

About people at school

Heard elena scream at michael

To stay away from her mother.

Stay away from amanda shaw,

A woman who admittedly
kissed him, who embraced him,

Who said on national television

She was sexually
attracted to him,

The woman who spent
the night alone with him

When elena was out of town.

Did the national informer
jump to a conclusion here?

Maybe.

Was it a reckless,
malicious leap?

Of course not.

My client was
probing the questions

That a lot of
people were asking.

And isn't that exactly what
a free press should do...

To ask your questions,

To explore your curiosity?

Oh, sure, newspapers
and magazines

Can print nice,
pleasant articles

That never offend,
anger, or provoke.

Wouldn't it be neat

If we can pick up a
newspaper every day

And never have to read anything

That was, my god, inappropriate?

Wouldn't it be swell if the press
stopped being aggressive or hungry?

I hate to stall ms.
Kelsey's momentum here,

But the first
amendment exists in part

Not only to promote that
kind of zeal by the media,

But to guarantee it,

So that we don't have editors

Telling us what is good
to read and what is not,

So we do not have
to have publishers

Suspending our civil rights

Every time there's a chance

That somebody might be bruised.

Amanda shaw
suffered real pain here.

I won't ask you to
believe otherwise.

But when ms.
Kelsey steps up here

And tells you that this case

Is not about first amendment
or freedom of the press,

Don't you believe that either.

Not for one single second.

Have you reached a
verdict, mr. Foreman?

- We have, your honor.
- How say you?

In the matter of amanda
shaw vs. The national informer,

We find in favor
of the plaintiff

And order the defendant to pay
damages in the amount of $ . Million.

Happy with the
amount, ms. Kelsey?

- Very satisfied. Yes.
- How are you gonna
spend it, amanda?

Maybe donate it to a university

That teaches
responsible journalism.

. Million is a
pretty big donation.

Money isn't the issue here.
I think you all know that.

The big thing is is that
I'm finally exonerated.

That verdict tells the world
that those lies were lies.

I'm just happy to
get my name cleared.

I take it you haven't seen today's
edition of the national informer.

No, and I don't
care to. Thank you.

How do you feel about making
the front page again, amanda?

Any truth to the story
about your abortion, amanda?

I'll sue them again. You pigs.

- I'll sue you again.
- Amanda.

- You bastard.
- Amanda.

- I'll sue you again!
- Mr. Nelson!

- Nice. Very nice.
- Mr. Nelson, any reaction?

- Any comments?
- She called us pigs. That's slander.

All right, that's enough.
Thank you very much.

No more. Thank you.

That's all. Goodbye.

Are you going to countersue?

- We can't sue them.
- What are you talking about?

This one's worse
than the other one.

This just recounts
what was said in court.

- They can print that.
- But it was their reporter
who said it in court.

It doesn't matter. A newspaper
can cover court proceedings.

Then let's sue the reporter
for saying it in the first place.

We can't do that either.

Witnesses have
qualified immunity.

Are you telling me that because
he said this lie on a witness stand

- He can get away with it?
- Basically.

So, is this how the system works

And is this what I went through
two years of litigation for?

I always felt that the
beauty of the jury system

Was that ordinary people
make the ultimate decisions,

Guided by their hearts,

Their minds, and
their own humanity.

Right now I don't want to talk
about the elements of fraud,

Burdens of proof, or
reasonable doubt or any of that.

I just want to
tell you who I am.

My whole life, I never wanted
to be anything but a lawyer.

By the time I was a teenager,

I could recite the
courtroom speeches

From every lawyer
movie I had ever seen.

Inherit the wind, to
k*ll a mockingbird,

Town without pity...
I knew all of them.

I went to law school
for a year at night.

When I lost my
scholarship, I dropped out.

I drove a cab, I
taught high school,

I sold office furniture.

But the whole time,
I read and I worked

At teaching myself
how to be a lawyer.

At first, I practiced
just for friends.

Little by little, though,

I realized I could
really do this.

I didn't need a diploma.

I was going up against
graduates from top- schools

And b*ating them cold.

I might not have
been legitimate,

But I served my clients
with unstinting loyalty.

Not a single one of them
came to testify against me

Because not a single one
of them felt defrauded.

Competent representation
was what they asked for,

And competent representation
was what they got.

Yes, I practiced law
without a license.

And regardless of your verdict,

I will never practice law again.

That, for me, is the
greatest punishment of all.

When I walk through those doors,

When I see that reporter
sitting at her machine,

And I plead my case
knowing that someone

Is depending on me
to get them through

What are most likely the most
desperate moments of their life,

I feel more alive here than I
do anywhere else on earth.

I love doing this.

God, I love doing this.

It's hard to imagine this
is the last time I ever will.

Thank you. Come on, come on.

Well, leland, another year,

Another holiday season to
demarcate the passage of time.

- Yes, indeed.
- I don't know about you guys,

But I've always felt the
spiritual side and the business side

To be wholly compatible.

Ah. Hmm.

I mean, is a pretzel
and potato chip sampler

Lithographed with a print
of christ in the manger,

Or an electric menorah with
sequentially blinking bulbs

Necessarily any less an expression
of faith than simple prayer?

Heavy.

[Knock on door]

If I promise to be
a good little boy,

Can I come in and have
some cake and ice cream?

So what's new on
the fertility front?

We met with a baby
broker yesterday.

Ann, that's wonderful.

Abb, I'm years old.

- I've never even
changed a diaper.
- It's easy.

What if we get one of
those colicky babies

That cries all night
and never sleeps?

And what happens
if they get sick?

It's not as if they can tell
you what's bothering them.

- What about crib death?
- Ann, stop.

Don't worry about
things you can't control.

I guess I just always thought that
I'd have nine months of pregnancy

To learn how to
accept a baby and love it.

But I'm not going
to be pregnant.

What if I don't love this baby?

You may be terrified right now,

But the first time that you hold

This little, tiny, helpless
baby in your arms,

You'll fall in love.

And within hours you won't be
able to imagine your world without it.

Merry christmas! Ho ho ho!

Happy hanukah!

So, how do you feel
about the place so far?

Mm, not bad. I think
I'll get used to it.

You have much experience
with divorce cases?

Only my own.

Well, first
thing is... Thanks...

Divorce yourself
from your own divorce.

You don't have to worry.

Tell me what you want
me to do, and I'll do it.

Ms. Kelsey.

Kudos and attaboys on a big win.

Ugh, some win, douglas.

All amanda shaw
got for her troubles

Was another round
of vicious public lies.

Celebrities open
themselves up to it, ann.

But at least through our
efforts maybe they'll think twice

Before doing it to someone else.

Fat chance. At . Million,

They probably made
money on the deal.

That aside, let us
not forget the /

That swells the coffers
of mckenzie brackman.

What's the use of
protecting you?

You're useless.

Everybody out
there is onto you, boy.

They're laughing at you.

They know how
screwed up you are.

You're a pathetic little mole.

Don't look away. I'm
talking to you, buster.

Leave him alone.

Shut up, dummy.

Don't you pick on
him. He's scared.

Scared?

What's he got to
be scared about?

I'm the one who takes the heat.

I'm the one that got
thrown into the car trunk

When he refused to
talk to the policeman.

I'm the one that had to go to court
and talk to the stupid judge for him.

Do you think it's
easy living my life

As this idiot's mouthpiece?

You know what I think?

I think you don't
want him to talk.

Excuse me, doofus?

'Cause if he could talk,
he wouldn't need you.

Hey.

No practicing law, remember?

Leaving instructions
for a few things

That have to be taken
care of during my exile.

Any plans of your own?

Well, no more appointment
book for starters.

You could always reread
crime and punishment.

Maybe I should.

When too many people
tell me that I'm wrong,

I'd be a fool not to
consider the possibility.

On the other hand,

Maybe I better just
find a rock somewhere,

Sit down and think.

I'll join you.

I've had a few doubts
about my own ethics lately.

You know what
the funny thing is?

Mathers doesn't
have any such doubts.

I saw his summation today.

He's one of the best
lawyers I've ever seen.

He may have broken the law,

But his moral center
never wavered.

Will a jury make
that distinction?

They already did.

Took them exactly minutes

To come back with an acquittal.

So he's a fake, we're for real,

And it's our moral compasses
that need adjustment?

Well, not to worry.

I think that between
the two of us

We ought to be able
to find true north.

- Merry christmas.
- Merry christmas, mickey.

Merry christmas, benny.

Thanks, victor. You, too.

Hey, waldo.

What?

This dummy thinks he's got
something to say to you.

Thank you...

For sticking up for me.

I-i-it's ok.

I know I have to
find the strength

To face people,
just like you do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big deal.

Anyway...

Merry christmas.

Merry christmas to you, too.

And happy new year!

This is making me sick.

I got to go puke.
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