03x09 - Victor/Victorious

Episode transcripts for the TV show "L. A. Law". Aired: September 15, 1986 – May 19, 1994.
High-powered law firm of McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney and Kuzak handles both criminal and civil cases, but the office politics and romance often distract them from the courtroom.
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03x09 - Victor/Victorious

Post by bunniefuu »

previously on l.a. Law...

Hey, hey, hey, look who's
at mckenzie brackman.

- With the long-awaited file.
- Good.

I hope you're a genius, stuart.

- What, do you doubt me?
- Well, the offer
came in at .

I don't even know
if that's ball park,

So if you can just run down the stock
valuations and the tax consequences.

I'll just wade through
it and I'll let you know.


- Arnie!
- Hi, alison.

Final cut. It's stunning.

- Hi, rox. How's the diet?
- Fine.

What the hell was that?

It was me
representing my client.

Your trotting out
this racism crap

Is a way of deflecting attention

From the real
issues of this case.

Which are?

The guilt or innocence
of the defendant

Based on what happened
in that jewelry store.

You pick your
issues, I'll pick mine.

I trusted kelly.

I let myself want that baby.

Ann, that baby...
That wasn't our baby.

Our baby is waiting to
be born to somebody else,

Somebody we don't even know yet.

We'll find our
baby, I swear to you.

Ta-da! The finished product.

What do you think?

Nice. Very, very nice.

I like the possessory credit...

arnold becker's
guide to divorce.

They're not gonna be able
to keep it on the shelves.

From your lips to god's ears.

Hey, I've done a
billion of these things.

This one's got pop.

It's going to be a huge seller.

You think so?

It's great. You're great.

I got to run.

Alison, you're always running.

Why don't you stop for a
minute and smell the daisies?

My luck, I'd get stung by a bee.

Dinner tonight. Celebrate.

I can't. I'm working.

Oh, and dave meyer
said to tell you

That he'll send a case
of those over tomorrow.

- Oh!
- Ow!

- God, I'm sorry.
- Excuse me. No...

- Excuse me. I was...
- It's... It's ok.

Victor sifuentes.

Alison gottlieb.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, it is.

I got to go.

- Edward chang's here.
- All right.

Ronnie, I got this nasty
letter from jim higgins

Saying that we never produced
documents in the berl case.

The copy center hasn't done it

Because we
haven't paid our bill.

For god's sake, you know
what's gonna happen?

He's gonna file a
motion to compel.

I'm gonna get hit
with the costs.

How much is the
stupid copy bill?

And change.

Look, take it out of petty
cash and then call jim higgins.

Petty cash is gone.

You said I could have it since
you didn't pay me last week.


Ed, hi. Come on in.

I thought I'd come down and
pick up the settlement offer.

- Got it right here.
- Great.

It's about time.

Now I want you to go over
that carefully, then we'll talk.

For six years, I
trusted that swine.

My clients were his clients.

And the whole time he's
got his hand in my pocket.

Yeah, well, he's not
gonna do it anymore.

I've got my tax whiz stuart markowitz
crunching the numbers as we speak.

, ? You think that's enough?

It's nothing to sneeze at, but it's
nothing we have to jump at either.

That's why I want you
to review this carefully.

- In the end,
it's your decision.
- Right.

This stuart markowitz guy,
does he think it's enough?

I'm meeting with
him this afternoon,

So I'll call you as soon
as I get the breakdown.

That's great.
Thanks a lot, abby.

- Take care.
- Bye.

Got building
management on line two.

They want to know if you'll be
dropping off a rent check today.

Tell them I mailed it.

Then call doug mcbane and tell
him his balance is outstanding.

Hello? Yeah, it went out
first thing monday morning.

Are you sure you
haven't received it?


Here, rox. I signed it
right there and there.

Uh, uh.

You want a doughnut?

At about calories each,

I think I'll pass.

How come?

I'm trying to lose weight.


Well, I think I'd look better.

Gee... I think
you're pretty now.

I'd be prettier if I
weighed pounds less.

No, you wouldn't.

You'd just be smaller.

Well, some of us

Could stand to
be a little smaller.

Should I be smaller?

Only if you think it'll make
you feel better about yourself.

I never thought about it.

Maybe you should get
the doughnuts in there.

I think they're starting
the staff meeting.

Roxanne, my all-encompassing
vessel of passion,

Are you busy for lunch today?

Uh-uh. I'm eating in,

I mean, if you can
call this eating.

Then how about a midday
tryst at the bonaventure?

You know, they say
minutes of vigorous lovemaking

Burns calories in an hour.

That is ,
calories per person.

I don't think so, dave.

No? Then how about
we jump in the car,

Head over to rancho park
and hit a bucket of balls?

- Dave, please.
- What?

I just want to be left alone

With my boiled eggs
and my celery sticks.

Your wish is my command,
you voluptuary, you.

I have a lot of work to do.

One kiss. One kiss.

I'll see you at home tonight.

With that in mind, how
about I f*re up the old jacuzzi

For an after-dinner romp?

Huh? Huh?

Ok, dave.

The thought of
your alabaster buoys

Bobbing in the
bubbles... Truth to tell,

I don't think I'm going to
get much work done today.

If we can get started?
We're running late.

Arnold, how goes
the mehzadi case?

Actually, miss wyler is in a better
position to talk about that than i.

I found out that
isaac mehzadi's wife

Is carried on the books
of her family's business.

She also is the title owner of several
parcels of property in damascus.

All of which is being kept carefully
hidden and which would knock her claims

For a piece of isaac's rug
business right out of the box.

Good work, dorothy.

She's done a real bang-up job.

chang vs. Century
partners limited.

Yeah, we're still pretty
far from an agreement,

But there's a lot
running in our favor.

- How's abby
acquitting herself?
- Quite well.

She's really gained a lot of
confidence since going out on her own.

There's nothing more gratifying
than seeing young lawyers

Who've been under your tutelage

Go forth in the
world and blossom.

No doubt you were quite
an influence on her, douglas.

We've all had our
mentors, victor.

It's really just a matter
of giving something back.

I don't think anybody
motivated her more than you.

Thank you, michael. Thank you.

avianca vs. National brands.

April avianca was waiting
tables at the gilded cage.

The manager talked her
into becoming a combatant

At their tuesday night
mud-wrestling contest.

When the mud was
replaced with lime gelatin,

April's skin broke out
in a flaming red rash

That covered her
from head to toe.

She lost two movie roles that
she had been cast for as a result.

Why is she suing
national brands?

They manufacture
the lime gelatin.

So what? It's intended to
be eaten, not wrestled in.

True, except gelatin wrestling
has been around long enough

To raise the issue
of foreseeability.

Particularly when topless
bars are buying it by the case.

I trust miss avianca is open to
the possibility of settlement?


She's also available for
our next christmas party.

- I think we're adjourned.
- Ah. Uh-uh.

Before we go, has anyone
seen the cutout of me?

It was in my office.
Now it's gone.

Well, maybe one of
the clerical staff

Who worships you from
afar took it home with her.

You must have known
that was gonna happen.

How's the videotape
venture going, arnold?

David meyer tells me that early
sales figures are through the roof.

Look at this packaging.

Very impressive.

I'm getting a case
of them tomorrow,

So you can all have
a copy of your own.

Jane fonda to shape up,
arnold becker to ship out.

What a country.

Hey, arnold, what's the deal
with this alison gottlieb person?

No deal. She just
directed my video.

Yeah, but what kind
of person is she?

Well, she's bright.
She's ambitious.

- You guys...
- No...

- Come on, seriously.
- No.

No, we just had a
couple of dinners.

So you're not gonna
mind if I ask her out?

No. Go ahead.

Rox will give you the number,
but don't hold your breath.

What does that mean?

It means that she loves to flirt,
but when push comes to shove,

She has a definite
problem with intimacy.

But, hey, what the hell?
Go ahead, give it a sh*t.

I want a full written report.



Six months suspended. Two
years' community service.

You must be on drugs.

Come on, he's a
-year-old baptist minister.

You really think the
jury is gonna convict?

When he blows away a teenager

With a . Magnum, yeah,
I think they'll convict.

Self-defense, counselor.

Two b*llet holes in the back

Don't suggest
self-defense to me.

Miss van owen...

We're talking
about a saint here.

He runs shelters
for the homeless,

Halfway houses for addicts...

And he m*rder
a -year-old boy.

I'll give you m*rder
two, but that's it.

This case is open and shut.

You say so, but
when the jury hears

About an elderly black man
who's been repeatedly victimized

By the youth in
the neighborhood,

- In this case the white youth...
- Oh, no, you don't.

Your racism defense
isn't gonna work this time.

It works every time
because it's there every time.

So take my advice...

Plead this out on
aggravated as*ault

And spare yourself
the embarrassment.

You spare yourself. I'm
ready for you this time.

And there's no way in hell
I'm gonna lose this thing.

I will not let my client do
time, counselor. Trust me.

He's going to jail, mr. Atkins.

Trust me.

All right, miss van owen,

We'll hear from the prosecution.

Excuse me, judge. I'm sorry.

I'd like to file one last
pretrial motion before we open.

Mr. Atkins.

I apologize, but
this is in response

To newly discovered information.

The motion is to
compel district attorney

To produce all
exculpatory evidence.

I've already done that
and counsel knows it.

Forgive me, but I've been
informed that two months ago,

Miss van owen
prosecuted a black man

With illegally
obtained evidence...

- Objection.
- In an unconstitutional

Get up here right
now, both of you.

the people vs.
Lyle torrey,

She concealed
evidence in that case

And I want to make sure
she doesn't conceal any here.

This is a cheap stunt
for the jury's benefit.

It is not a stunt. It's
a legitimate motion.

You're gonna start this
crap all over again, aren't you?

Quiet. Mr. Atkins, I know your
propensity for grandstanding,

But don't you
dare pull that here.

I'm the wrong judge for
that. Do you understand me?

Your motion is denied.
Now step back, both of you.

Sorry, judge.

Members of the jury,
you will disregard

That last exchange
in its entirety.

Miss van owen, please proceed.

No, it's not a good
offer. , Is not good.

It's all the client
lost, stuart.

We're not gonna get any
punitives and it seems to me...

His out-of-pocket
loss was , abby.

That doesn't take into
account loss of profits.

It doesn't take into
account interest.

And this thing's on a
four-year payout schedule,

Which means the
present-day value is about .

Which is still not bad
considering the cost of a trial.

Abby, the client
doesn't bear that cost.

You took it on a
contingency, remember?

Even so, stuart, anticompetition
cases are tough to win.

And I'm not sure we should
roll the dice with a wobbler.

You have a strong
case here, abby.

That's why the offer
is as good as it is.

I think you can get at least .

I disagree.

Look, even if we
win on liability,

Which, to me, is very iffy,

The upside award in this
is gonna be in the low s.

I think you're wrong.

Thank you, but
that's my decision.

I'm gonna recommend to
the client that he take it.

Fine, but I gotta tell you if he asks
me, I'm gonna recommend otherwise.

Stuart, I'll talk to the client.

I don't need you giving him
mixed signals about this deal.

Whoa. I'm co-counsel,
here, abby.

I have a duty to protect
mr. Chang's interests as well.

I'm the one who hired you.

Yeah, on the client's behalf,

Which means I have an
affirmative obligation...

Well, then I'll just
remove that obligation

As of this moment!

- I beg your pardon?
- You're fired.

You're f*ring me?

I'm sorry, but your
services are terminated,

As is your obligation
to speak to my client.

You can send me your bill.

I just can't believe
how stupid I was.

I fell right into it... Again.

Well, at least the
judge hammered him.

Well, that's the thing.

The jury didn't
hear any of that.

All they heard was
the stuff about me.

And all they saw was me
ranting at the bench like a lunatic

While atkins stood there calmly.

Face it, gracie.

The guy's good,
and you're a lunatic.

Well, this lunatic is
ready for mr. Atkins.

He's not gonna get
under my skin anymore.

I studied up on him.

I know all his tricks and I'm
ready to stop him at every turn.

So that's what you were
doing till : in the morning.


Nobody beats me twice, kuzak.


- Go get him, counselor.
- He's mine.

So the defendant never
denied sh**ting him?

Oh, no. He just said it was
self-defense and that he had to do it.

Did your investigation support
that conclusion, sergeant?

I'm afraid not.

The victim didn't have a w*apon
and he was sh*t from behind.

- You're sure about this?
- Both b*llet wounds
were in the back.

One was just below
the shoulder blade,

The other was just
above the base of the spine.

Sergeant bassett,
did you have occasion

To meet with the defendant
prior to this incident?

About three weeks before.

We were responding to
another burglary at his church.

Some kids had stolen some
stuff and he was real agitated.

Could you describe
this agitation, please?

Well, he was mad
at us, for one thing.

It was about the th time his
church had been hit in a the last year

And he said he was sick of it.

That's when he made the thr*at.

What was this thr*at, sir?

He said if the police couldn't
stop these punks, he'd do it himself.

Thank you, sergeant bassett.

I have nothing further.

Did you report this
thr*at to anybody?

- No, I didn't.
- Why not, sergeant?

I really didn't
take it seriously.

Because victims in
the heat of the moment

Say crazy things all
the time, don't they?

Yes, sir.

When you heard my client
spout off about vengeance,

You regarded that as
human nature, didn't you?

I guess that's right.

In fact, sergeant bassett, the real
reason my client is on trial here today

Is not because of that
impassioned outburst,

But because of the
two b*llet holes

In the back of the intruder.

- Isn't that right?
- That's certainly the most
incriminating evidence.

- Yes, sir.
- How long have you been
on the force, sergeant?

- Years.
- Years?

In that time, have you
known of a police officer

To sh**t and k*ll
anybody from behind?

It's happened.

To your knowledge, have
any of these police officers

Ever been prosecuted for m*rder?

No, because they
didn't commit m*rder.

In your opinion.

Look, counselor, if an officer
fatally wounds somebody from behind,

There's going to be a
complete investigation.

And if the sh**ting
isn't justified

Or an honest mistake,

There's damn well gonna be a m*rder
charge whether it's a cop or not.

So it is possible for
these kinds of sh**t

To be either justified
or an honest mistake.

That's right.

Thank you, sergeant.
Nothing further.

Mr. Chang. Hi.

I appreciate your seeing
me without an appointment.

Oh, that's okay.

I don't know if abby told you or
not, but I'm no longer on the case.

She told me.

The reason I came in is to find
out what exactly happened.

Oh, nothing happened.

I was hired to run some numbers

And give some
advice, which I did.

And my job's done.

She told me you
had a disagreement.

Well, no,

We differed as to the
damage computation, that's all.

You think the offer's
too low, don't you?

Yeah, I'd like it to be bigger,

But, look, abby's in a much
better position to make this call.

She's much better
versed in liability issues.

- How much
do you think I should get?
- I think you should ask abby.

She's your lawyer.
She's quite capable.

Suppose I wanted to make
you my lawyer... Exclusively.

No. Listen, abby's
a litigator, I'm not.

I think your interests are
much better served with her.

But you disagree with
the way she's handling it.

No, I didn't say that.

I said we had a difference of
opinion as to the numbers, you know.

That's all.

Thank you, mr. Markowitz.

- Thank you for your time.
- Okay.

Hey, victor. como esta.

- bien.
- did you call alison?

- Yeah, I did.
- And?

We're gonna go out
for a little dinner.


Don't forget...
Full written report.

And where were you, sir,
when you heard this noise?

In the basement.

I had been staying there at
night to protect my church.

Just when I got ready
to turn in, I heard it.

And I thought, "oh,
lord, here we go again."

What did you mean
by "here we go again"?

Break-ins in
the past months.

I can't even get insurance
because I'm too much of a risk.

What did you do, sir,
when you heard this noise?

I got my g*n and
I went upstairs.

And when I went into
the chapel, I saw him.

I couldn't make him out too
good 'cause it was sort of dark.

So I yelled, "who are you?"

And that's when he
just started charging.

- Charging at you?
- Yes, sir.

But he was sh*t in the back.

Well, he turned towards
the door just before I fired.

He was moving fast. I had
my hand on the trigger.

With god as my witness,

I did not want to k*ll anyone.

Thank you, reverend.

I have nothing further.

When you sh*t him
the first time, mr. Seely,

He was feet away.

And according to your testimony,

You thought he was
charging you, right?

- Yes.
- But when you got him
with the second sh*t,

He was feet away,
over by the door.

Are you telling us
that after he ran

An additional
feet away from you,

You still thought
he was charging?

It was dark.

It wasn't dark, sir.

The lights were on.

Sometimes I don't see too good.

- Do you wear glasses?
- No.

In fact, you have
/ vision, don't you?

The point is, I thought
I was in danger.

No, the point is, reverend,

You have perfect vision,

You were in a lighted room,

And you say you couldn't tell

If the boy was coming
toward you or running away.

- Doesn't that sound
a little funny?
- Objection.

My client doesn't have to
ratify her sense of humor.

Then let me rephrase
the question.

Doesn't that sound a
little like m*rder, mr. Seely?

- Objection.
- Sustained.

After the last break-in,
you told the police

You'd stop these
punks, didn't you?

That was just talk. I didn't...

And was it just
talk the next week

When you went out and
bought the . Magnum?

I needed protection.

And when you took sh**ting
practice for two weeks,

Was that just a
little more talk?

That was me taking
steps to stop crime.

The police don't.

So you were doing the
police department's job.

Yes. They should
give me a medal.

Too bad. They stopped
giving out medals

For sh**ting
teenagers in the back.

- Objection.
- Withdrawn.

I have nothing further
for the reverend.

What possible justification do
you have for turning my client on me?

I didn't turn your client.
Why? Did he leave you?

Yes, he did, stuart.
You know he did.

No, I don't know, abby.

He came to my
office very uncertain

About the deal you were
trying to slide past him.

I resent that characterization.

It is precisely accurate, abby.

I am a precisely
accurate kind of guy

And I had severe misgivings about
the way I handled that meeting with him,

Because I led him to believe
that what you were doing was ok.

You sold him down
the river, abby.

I waved to him from the
dock. He deserved better.

Oh, come on, stuart.

You would have negotiated
that deal to death.

You'd like nothing better than
to bat those profit projections

Back and forth to the
end of recorded history.

But for people who
live in real time, stuart,

Including mr. Chang,
they have bills to pay.

Oh, is that it, abby?

Bills to pay?

Did you push for a settlement

Because you have bills to pay?

It was a decent offer.

Did you push for the settlement
because you have bills to pay?

I'm out of money, stuart.
I'm also out of credit.

I was stiffed by two clients
for fees that I was counting on,

But I would never
sell out my client.

Yeah, because he walked
before you had a chance to.

Abby, good lawyers
don't screw their clients.

Well, what am I
supposed to do, stuart,

Lose my practice, close up shop?

Ask for a loan, for god's sake!

Here! I have money!

Stick your money, stuart!

Stick your money
and your moralizing!

That's it, that's it.


Ah. Ah.

I can't tell if I'm
helping or hurting.

You're alternating.

Excuse me.


Come in.

- Why don't I go and...
- No, ann, i, um...

I just came to apologize
to your husband.

He was right on
target yesterday.

And the righter he
was, the madder I got,

So I hope that he'll
accept a blanket apology,

Because a point-by-point
will just remind him

Of what a complete jerk I am.


Forget it.

Thank you.

Is there anything we can do?

- Ann, don't ask. Believe me.
- Yeah, really.

Although, if you don't mind,

I gave your name
to somebody today.

No, I don't mind.

He owns diamondback skateboards.

He's an interesting
guy, actually.

He was four-time international
freestyle thrasher champion.

They call it thrashing.

Here it is. Some, uh...

Sportswear manufacturer
starts putting

His diamondback snake
logo on his summer line.

We've got a conflict here,
so I gave him your name.

It's a trademark infringement?

Yeah, I thought it'd
be right up your alley.

I mean, this is an area that
I'm not all that fluent in.

What, fluent? Read up.

Sure, but if the guy thinks
I'm some kind of expert...

I told him you're young,
I told him you're smart,

I told him he'd be
lucky to get you.

So take it if you want it.

I'll give it a sh*t.

Thanks for the endorsement.

Get the door, will you?

Yeah, walter goetz, please.
Stuart markowitz calling.

Mr. Goetz, good morning.

Yeah, I've been thinking
about lawyers for your case

And I think I found
somebody for you.

Uh-huh. Her name
is abigail perkins.

Yeah, yeah. Look, I don't know if
she can free herself up for this,

But i...

Oh, yeah, I will definitely
put a good word in for you.

I'd be glad to do it.

All right, mr. Atkins,
what's this all about?

I'm afraid I have a
situation, judge,

That necessitates my being
excused from this case.

Pardon me?

Reverend seely believes my
defense has been incompetent

And he's suing me
for malpractice.

What in hell are
you talking about?

This is the complaint
he plans to file.

Obviously, I can't be expected

To continue representing a client
who is in the process of suing me.

Excuse me, judge, but I
believe that mr. Atkins

Instructed his client
to file that complaint.

- What?
- It's a great trick.

He tells his client to sue,

Forcing you to remove him
as counsel from the trial.

His withdrawal at such a
late stage is so prejudicial

That it's grounds
for a mistrial.

Or, at worst,

Sure-f*re grounds for
appeal after conviction.

- This is ridiculous.
- Not so ridiculous.

Mr. Atkins has been
sued three other times

By clients in the late
stages of a losing effort.

... , And again in .

All three complaints
snatching mistrials

From the jaws of defeat.

Oh, and all three suits
subsequently dropped

After the clients
got their new trials.

That proves absolutely nothing.

Mr. Atkins, did you tell
your client to sue you

So that I would
scrap this trial?

No, your honor.

That would be unethical.

Well, let me tell
you this, mr. Attorney.

I don't think that your client

Has any grounds for
a malpractice claim.

And, judging from your behavior,

I am quite confident
that you will continue

To represent him zealously.

You are not excused.

This trial goes on.

We're going back in there right
now for closing arguments.

Your honor.

Let's go, mr. Atkins.

And just be glad that
I don't lock you up

For obstruction of justice.

Nice try, counselor.

Jerome seely sacrificed

The last years of his life

So that others
might suffer less.

Food for the hungry.

Shelter for the homeless.

Hope for the desperate.

And now, miss van owen
wants you to lock him up

Because he dared to raise a g*n

Against a burglar
in his own church.

No people of conscience

Could go back to that jury room

And come back with
that kind of verdict.

He's a good man, a giving man,

Who panicked and
sh*t a criminal.

Jerome seely was afraid and...

Pent up with the frustrations

At white america's indifference
to crimes against black people.

The police response time

To crimes in his
black neighborhood:

Minutes longer
than the response time

To crimes in a white neighborhood
just three blocks away.

Two weeks ago,
simultaneous reports

Were made to the police
about two separate crimes,

A car theft in the
white neighborhood,

An ongoing r*pe in the black.

The police responded
to the car theft first.

I object to this.

He's introducing new facts in
his closing, and that's illegal.

- Your honor...
- There has been no evidence introduced

About a response time
on any r*pe two weeks ago.

I object to this
blatant intrusion!

Your honor, I move that
attorney atkins take the stand

So that I can cross-examine him.

- What?
- Cross-examine?

He is making statements of
fact, functioning as a witness.

I have absolute right
to challenge him.

- This is ridiculous.
- You afraid to take the stand,

- Miss van owen...
- Wanna cross-examine me? Go ahead!

Both of you approach.


I will strike this
evidence and remove it.

They've already heard it,
judge. You can't unring the bell.

If she wants to put me on the
witness stand, that's ok with me.

All right.

We'll come back
in here tomorrow.

Members of the jury,

We will reconvene at a.m.,

At which time attorney atkins

Will be called as a witness.

Until then, we are adjourned.

If you think you can go
one-on-one with me, lady,

You've just made a big mistake.

[Intercom buzzes]


Ok, send him in.

Walter goetz.

Hi. Abigail perkins.

- Thanks, ronnie.
- Pleasure.

Have a seat.

So, stuart told me a
little bit about your case.

Before we go too far on this,

I understand the value
of keeping things lean,

But when your name came up, I had
no idea this was a one-man office.

Well, if stuart markowitz
recommended me,

There had to be a reason.

Look, mr. Goetz,

At the risk of sounding
immodest, I'm good.

And the reason I don't have a
flock of associates backing me up

Is because I don't need one.

You think my case is winnable?

From what I know, absolutely.

The guy's making
money off your logo.

Well, it's real close.
It's not an exact copy.

No, no. The issue here is
likelihood of confusion.

And when the lay person
sees the design on his t-shirts,

They're going to associate it
with your skateboard company.

That's great, but
do you really think

One person is enough
to service this case?

I mean, we could be
talking big numbers and...

You know what I really think?

I think you should interview
some other lawyers.

Hey, look, don't get me wrong...

You don't need to
explain, mr. Goetz.

One of my golden rules here

Is never take on a
reluctant client.

And the fact is that there are
a lot of fine law firms out there

That will do a nice job for you.

Well, maybe I should
at least talk to a few,

You know, see what they say.

I think that would be smart.

But do yourself a
favor and don't hire

Your last lawyer,
whoever that was.


He should have
registered your trademark.

If he had, you might
not be in this jam.

He said it wasn't necessary
because it was a unique design.

Well, he was wrong, wasn't he?

Look, mr. Goetz, I'm not saying

You're not gonna win
here, because you should.

It's a fanciful mark.

We could easily establish
secondary meaning.

But if you were registered,

You'd have another presumption
in your favor going in.

It's just plain stupid
to not be registered.

You know what?

I think I'm ready to hire you.

No, I don't think you should
make this decision yet.

- Think it over.
- No. I'm sure.

- I'm sure.
- Ok. Fine.

I'll need a retainer
from you of $ ,

To be charged off at
a rate of an hour.


It's been a long time since
I've been on a real date.

I'm surprised.


Oh, I don't know.

I guess you don't
strike me as the shy type.

No, it's... It's just that
the women that I meet

Are in the legal profession.

And, um...

You spend your whole
day with lawyers...

I know. I feel the same way

About the guys I work with.

And I work a lot of nights, too,

Particularly when
I have to be in court

The next morning, so that...

My mother is going to
be thrilled when I tell her

I went out with an attorney.


Named sifuentes?

Well, I don't think
I'll tell her that part.

Unless, um... I see you again.

Well, that's up to you.

I'd like that.

So, does, um...

Does that mean
that you're not...

Involved with anyone?

- Yeah.
- You are?

I mean, no.

I'm not involved with anybody.

Good. That's... That's good.

This way.

[Car alarm chirps]

Ha ha ha.

Let me get that.

This car has...

Are you going to be in
my life, victor sifuentes?

Oh, yes.

Yes, I am.

Hey, victor. How
was the big date?

It was good.

Where did you go?

A little place in malibu canyon.



- How was it?
- It was pretty good.

I had the new york steak and
alison had the grilled chicken.


I'm talking about afterward.

It was fine.


What is fine supposed to mean?

Fine means fine.

Okay, you going
to see her again?

Yeah, probably.

What is this, a news blackout?

Mr. Atkins, yesterday's statement
about police response times

In black and white

Where did you get that?

It was my own research
based on numerous interviews

With reliable witnesses
living in both places.

Why didn't you call any of these
reliable witnesses to testify?

- Maybe I should have.
- Yes.

Or maybe you were
afraid they'd turn out to be

Not so reliable or nonexistent.

I don't fabricate
data, miss van owen.

Oh, you don't?

What about the so-called
simultaneous reports

Concerning this
r*pe and car theft?

They happened january th, .

But they didn't happen
simultaneously, counselor.

According to the police records,

A unit was already in
the white neighborhood

Investigating the automobile
theft when the r*pe call came in,

And they responded immediately.

All I know is they were in
the white neighborhood first.

Oh, no, mr. Atkins.

You know the facts exactly,

But you chose to
deliberately mislead this jury.

That's totally false.

It's true, and it's
not the first time.

You were suspended
from the practice of law

For doing this
before, weren't you?

- Objection!
- So as to his honesty,
I'm offering to impeach.

I'll allow it.

... You submitted and argued
false evidence to a court of law,

For which you were
suspended for three months.

- Correct, counselor?
- You did the same thing
two months ago.

Thank you, but for now let's
stick to your adventures,

Like your conviction for
as*ault and battery on a police officer.

- Objection!
- He's a witness, judge.

Felony convictions
bear upon credibility.

- Your honor?
- Overruled.

That was an anti-apartheid

Were you convicted
or not, mr. Atkins?

I pled guilty proudly.

And were you proud in

After being arrested for
breaking and entering, trespassing...

It was a faculty protest at the
administration building at berkeley.

For which you were
arrested, mr. Atkins.

That was a political
crime, miss van owen,

Which you, as a chosen-class

White american can't understand.

I understand income
tax evasion, sir.

Something you were
investigated for in .

I refused to pay my taxes

In protest of the vietnam w*r.

Bravo, mr. Atkins!

It's always nice
to have an excuse.

But let me conduct
a review here.

And you tell me if I'm wrong.

Yesterday, you illegally
introduced new facts before this jury,

Facts about response
times, which you cannot prove.

Facts about a
r*pe and a car theft

Which are out and out false.

Previously, you've
been suspended

By the state bar
for lying to a jury.

You have a criminal record,
complete with a felony conviction

And you've been investigated
for income tax evasion.

That's all true,
isn't it, mr. Atkins?

- Just because...
- Is it true or not, sir?

Yes, it's true!

Thank you, counselor.

It's a privilege to know
where you're coming from.

You may step down, mr. Atkins.

Miss van owen,
members of the jury,

I'm afraid that I cannot
let this trial go on.

What are you talking about?

I think you know very
well what I am talking about.

This new information
is extremely prejudicial,

And in my view, it severely
compromises mr. Atkins' ability

To render effective

Judge, you can't
throw this thing out.

Miss van owen, you
have left me no choice.

Mr. Atkins is now so severely
undermined that it jeopardizes

The defendant's constitutional
right to a fair trial.

Members of the jury,

Regrettably, I must
declare these proceedings

A mistrial.

I thank you for your efforts,

And I am deeply sorry

That you will not be able
to complete your service.

This matter is adjourned.

Nice try, counselor.

- Did you talk
to abby today?
- Mm-mm.

She said she was going to call.

- She was pretty excited.
- Great.

[Telephone rings]

Speak of the devil.

Here, you answer.


Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Wait a minute. Let
me get a pencil.


Which terminal?

Well... Yeah, is it
going to be there?

All right, thanks.

That was ross burnett's wife.

Ross is at the airport
and he's got a baby for us.


Days old, coming
in from arkansas,

And the flight gets in at : .

Arkansas? We didn't meet
anybody from arkansas.

- Who's the mother?
- I don't know.

- Come on, let's get going.
- Stuart, this is crazy.

We don't have a crib
or diapers or baby food.

One thing at a time.
Where are my car keys?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you feeling?

Eh, I'll live.

Grace, it's not like you lost.

It's only a mistrial.

And a mistrial always
favors the defense.

Hey, you still got a sure
thing, and you know it.

The reason that you're so upset

Is because you were outsmarted.

Oh, thanks for the
reminder, counselor.

You win some, you lose some.

I don't mind losing some,

But this guy rubs my nose in it

Every time I go up against him.

I just don't ever want
to see his face again.

Hey, I brought you a present.

It's just a little
something to cheer you up.

Oh, mickey, that is so sweet.

Open it.

You are something.

What am I supposed
to do with this?

It's exactly what you always
wanted to do to atkins...

Punch him right in the nose.

I can't do that.

Sure you can. Go ahead.

Aw, come on, grace. You
can do better than that.

Go ahead. Go for it.


Just hold on. Just hold on, ok?

The flight's a few minutes late,
so we have a little bit of time.

What's... What's going on?

The couple that was
supposed to take the baby

Got cold feet and pulled out.

The baby was already in the air.

I called three
different couples.

You were the only ones home.

Look, I've got the mother
on the phone now in arkansas.

I faxed her your file
and she's going over it.

Why don't you take a
look at that top file

And tell me what you think?


Mother's . She
lives in her hometown.

She's presently working at a
grade school cafeteria as a baker.

There's no history of
mental illness in the family.

Paternal grandparents
died of heart disease.

Says the mother was born
with a malformed left foot

Which was corrected by surgery in
infancy, but ross wrote in the margin,

"It's not hereditary.
The baby's perfect."

That's it.

Stuart, this is not
the way to have a baby.

It's not fair to anybody.

She said yes.

She liked that you
were both lawyers

And that stuart had a
nice smile and ann was tall.

I want to talk to
her before we decide.

She doesn't want to.

We don't even know
if it's a boy or a girl.

It's a girl.

I can't do it this way.

I have to meet the
mother, stuart.

If I see her, I'll know if
this is the right baby for us.

I have to see her!

Maybe we can... I don't know,

Spend a little time with the
baby first before we decide?


You can look at
her, you can hold her,

But if you take her
home, she's yours.

We're supposed to take a baby
off a piece of paper and a snapshot?

Is that how desperate
we've become?

Just give us a second, will you?

Can we get out of here, please?

Yes, we can go.

I mean, this is your call.

If it's not right for
you, I don't want to do it.

The plane has landed.

Well, you, uh, want
to take a look?

I guess so. Ok.

I got a name picked out.

Tell me.


Kelsey markowitz.


- You like it?
- I like it.

How about we all go home?

You want to go home? Ok?
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