HENRY (voice-over): When
we moved to New York,
we had a great
apartment that was cheap.
KIP: And we found out why.
HENRY: Our friend Amy said
there was a great
apartment in her building...
KIP: Dirt cheap. But
it's a hotel for women.
Okay. We made one adjustment.
HENRY: Now these other ladies
know us as Buffy and Hildegarde.
KIP: But they also know us
as Kip and Henry, Buffy
and Hildy's brothers.
I am, uh, crazy
about the blond, heh.
HENRY: This experience
is gonna make a great book.
KIP: See, it's all
perfectly normal.
(Stephanie Mills' "Shake
Me Loose" playing)
♪ I'd like to be J. Paul Getty ♪
♪ That gig Has got potential ♪
♪ But the only thing
That's essential ♪
♪ Is having a friend Like you ♪
♪ Well, you can try
To shake me loose ♪
♪ Don't try To shake me ♪
♪ You can leave If
you got a mind to ♪
♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪
♪ It ain't any use ♪
♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪
♪ I'm stickin' around ♪
♪ You're stuck with me ♪
♪ I'm stickin' around ♪
♪ You're stuck with ♪
♪ Oh, ooh... ♪
♪ Try to shake me loose ♪
♪ Don't try to shake me ♪
♪ And you can leave
If you got a mind to ♪
♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪
♪ It ain't any use ♪
♪ You ain't never
Gonna shake me loose ♪
♪ Try to shake me loose ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ You can tell me To go away ♪
♪ But it doesn't
matter What you say ♪
♪ It ain't any use ♪
♪ You ain't never
Gonna shake me loose ♪
( upbeat theme playing)
(grunting)
(exhales)
(sighs)
(exhales)
Nice.
Very nice. What?
Nice front too.
Likewise, I'm sure.
Aren't you curious about
what I'm doing here?
No.
No, I just figured my bedtime
prayers were answered.
Ruth hired me for you.
Wow. What a thoughtful
and practical gift.
Last year she gave
me soap on a rope.
(laughs)
You could use it now.
I'm Dana McCarthy.
I'm an interior decorator.
Hi.
I'm, uh... I'm Henry Desmond.
I'm a Virgo.
(gargling)
(coughs)
Ooh.
Everything's nice and fresh.
(coughs)
So, you're, uh, an
interior decorator, huh?
Uh-huh.
Heh. There's always
been one question
I wanted to ask an
interior decorator.
Do you have a
husband or boyfriend?
No. I really haven't
met many people.
I just moved to
New York last month.
Oh, yeah. From
where? California.
Do you know... Leonard Ripps?
No.
He lives there.
You know that jacket would
make a really neat sofa.
That's funny. I've been
thinking of making my shorts
into an ottoman.
Hm.
Shorts, say goodbye
to the pretty lady.
(high-pitched voice): Bye.
Hope to see you real soon.
Don't shut me up in here, Henry.
(laughs)
You're not gonna
believe this, but
I once met a gypsy who said
that I would meet a
man in talking shorts.
What a coincidence.
These shorts were
raised by gypsies.
I had to buy them
for three chickens
and a monkey's claw.
It was a good deal,
you know, so I...
Um... anyway, it's, uh...
I-it's nice to meet you, Dana.
It's a pleasure
meeting you, Henry.
(both giggle)
KIP: Now you blew it, Ruth.
That is the last time
I take you to lunch.
Oh, how humiliating.
Everyone was staring at us.
I really don't care.
If food is not cooked exactly
the way you ordered it,
it is incumbent upon
you to send it back.
And any chef will
respect you for it.
Ruth, when you order a Big Mac,
you cannot get it
just a touch pink.
Well... Well. Well, well, well.
We-he-he-ell...
This just stinks.
Hi, Ruth.
Hello, Dana.
I'm glad to see
you've met our Henry.
This is our Kip,
and this is our Amy.
Ha. This is our nightmare.
Well, of course it is.
(clears throat)
Uh, Dana's a decorator. She's
going to be doing my office.
Now, what would a silent partner
need an office for, Ruth?
You don't do anything.
The vice president
of the United States
has an office...
and he doesn't do anything.
(giggles)
She's got me there.
Uh. Ah, Dana...
Uh... Um... look,
I-I'm sure your
work is first-rate,
but, uh, I don't think
we need your services.
I... I sort of decorated
the place myself.
I can tell.
If you hung some
fuzzy dice on it,
you could drive this
place straight to Tijuana.
(laughs)
Well, I like you already.
Come with me,
darling. Walk with me.
Give me your thoughts
about a Jacuzzi. Mm.
Henry, y... You've
got that look.
You... You've got that look...
Those little puppy-dog eyes.
It's just like in
Lady and the Tramp
when they were
eating the spaghetti.
Isn't she something, huh?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. She's
cute. Little sarcastic.
But, uh, I'd give her a 6.7.
Bite your... Bite your tongue.
She's a woman, not a number.
Now don't be such a pig.
Sorry.
Besides, any wing
nut can see she's a 9.3.
Henry... HENRY: Yeah.
Henry, you don't
mind if we get rid
of this ugly, old
eyesore, do you?
You're a professional. I
think whatever you say goes.
Let's hold the
phone here, please.
I painted this.
This is my painting.
I painted it at a very
important period in my life.
Junior high? (chuckles)
What makes you an art critic?
Master's degree from UCLA.
Art.
Kip.
Southern California, huh?
(laughs derisively)
Yes, the ivy-covered
halls of Uck-Lah...
where the highest
artistic achievement
is being Anson
Williams' manager.
(scoffs)
Oh, yeah? Where are you from?
Cleveland?
Yeah.
Okay. All right. Well, let's...
Let's not bicker now.
I... I think we
should just, uh...
You know, all put ourselves
in... In Dana's hands.
That's fine with me, Henry.
Dana... that's
just an expression.
Well. I... I think
I'll go upstairs.
It would help me get some, uh,
perspective on the space.
Yep. I'll go with you. It's
not a safe neighborhood.
(surfer accent): Wow. Let's get
some perspective on the space.
(surfer accent): Really, for
sure. Like, that would be great.
Like, we'll drive Swedish cars.
Yeah, drink some
white wine, you know.
Like, we'll go to
the beach, for sure.
Yeah, the beach because
there's, like, water at the beach,
and, wow, we could, like,
encounter some
seashells or something.
It's, like... I'll make
some yogurt tacos.
For sure. Like, we could
stay at the Hotel California.
That would be organic.
For sure.
You know, when
you're vicious like this,
I feel like you could
be my own children.
I'm so moved.
Is there chicory in that coffee?
They, uh...
They have a...
terrific steak sandwich here.
Sounds good.
It's a nice little place.
(thinking): It's a toilet,
but I'm short on cash.
Henry, it's so refreshing
to be out with a real gentleman.
(thinking): How come he's
not putting his arm around me?
I wonder if he's...
Nah.
Doesn't dress well enough.
(exhales)
Boy, I'm tired.
I've been working late
on my book, you know.
I am b*at.
Should I do it?
Oh, should I do it?
Now. Go. Go.
Mm-mmm. No.
No. I wish I could
pick up a clear signal.
You have terrific
hair, you know?
Good signal.
Do you mind?
Not at all.
I hope my pits don't smell.
What's that smell?
Beats me.
Oh.
Hey, you guys.
Sorry we're late.
No, no. It's all right.
It's good to see you two.
Joan of Arc would
rather see a match.
And you must be Dana.
I'm Sonny. Nice to meet you.
(thinking): She's cute.
Nice hair, good
eyes, built okay.
But let's be frank:
no competition.
It's a pleasure.
(thinking): She's
gorgeous. I hate her.
Boy, she must be
costing Kip a bundle.
So Henry tells me
you're from California.
She's going to talk
about the weather.
They always do.
You know, I really
miss the sushi.
That's stupider than weather.
I love sushi.
How could anybody
like eating raw fish?
I like it too.
(thinking): What
a stinking liar.
He gags on tuna salad.
Your menus?
Oh, thank you.
(thinking): This is amazing.
There are two girls
who live in this hotel
who look just like these guys.
I wonder.
Nah.
So first date, huh, Henry?
See you really went all out.
You're a dead man.
Come on, Izzy.
No. Amy, you're just
looking for trouble.
You bet I am.
Oh, well, look who's here.
(thinking): Henry and
his beach-blanket bimbo.
Hi. How are you?
Hi. How are you?
Ooh. This could get good.
(thinking): Please
don't ask us to sit down.
Well, sit down. Sit down.
Oh, well. J-just for a second.
Oh. Dog sweat.
Delighted. (clears throat)
Isabelle, uh, this is Dana.
Dana, Isabelle.
Hi. It's a pleasure
to meet you. You too.
Dana's from California.
Oh, boy. That's nice.
If you're an avocado.
Well, um, Izzy and I
are going to the movies.
Why did she have to
announce we don't have dates?
You guys want to
go with us? Henry?
I think that would
be a great idea.
Uh, w-w-what do you say, Henry?
You want to make it a sextet?
Well, now, uh, Kip, Dana
and I sort of already made...
plans, you know.
Plans you'll remember
for the rest of your life.
I've never been
so uncomfortable.
Gosh, I love this.
It's so General Hospital.
Oh, Henry, you
look so cute tonight.
Don't waste it on her.
I hate her guts.
She'll use him like a Q-Tip.
She'll just soil him,
throw him away.
She's not right for him,
and I'm gonna have to
prove it to him.
I think I could love this girl.
Hey. A penny for your thoughts.
(all speaking at once)
We're gonna go to the movies.
( upbeat theme playing)
Let's see. "Merv:
Dr. Henry Kissinger,
"Dr. Jonas Salk,
Dr. Joyce Brothers,
Deney Terrio."
Must be a theme show.
I don't think so.
Ooh. "Hockey.
Rangers at Minnesota."
All right.
Well, you believe me now?
It's a little weird,
but it's creative.
Don't tell me.
You must be Buffy.
Well, if she knows all,
I suppose you told her
that I cried like a baby
when Flipper was canceled?
And he threw a hissy fit
when Sheriff Lobo bit the dust.
(giggles)
Now I'm gonna
slip into something
a little more comfortable.
Do that. I refuse to kiss
a man in support hose.
And you shouldn't.
You two get to know each other.
Hockey, huh?
Yeah.
Rangers in Minnesota.
Little barbaric, isn't it?
Sorry.
Let's see if we can't find
some California
sports, shall we?
Oh, look: Nude Frisbee
With Roller-Disco Zen Surfing.
Bean-Sprout Lacrosse.
Oh, and here's
something on at 8.
Hang-Gliding in the Mind.
Mechanical Broncobusting.
Oh, Tennis with Yogurt.
Hop, Skip, and a Meditate.
Wheat-Germ Races. Oh.
The Wide World of Karma.
Anything sound good to you?
(sighs)
Listen, Kip. Um... I like Henry.
I think I'm gonna be
seeing a lot of him,
which means I'm gonna
be seeing a lot of you.
So maybe you should
just get used to it.
Oh. George Hamilton
Presents: Tanning for Dollars.
Hi-ho. I'm back.
Nice jacket.
Thank you.
Wow. Huh. If you had a pipe,
you could pass for Hugh Hefner.
Perfect. Now you're
a complete stereotype.
Kip, uh...
Henry, uh...
Rangers are in Minnesota.
Kip, that's why they
call it a portable TV.
Okay.
You'll excuse me, Barbie, Hef.
Don't thank me.
Mind if I smoke?
Maybe later?
(exhales)
(both laugh)
Well, uh...
there it is.
Yep.
There's my bed.
You bet it is.
Tsk.
You know, uh...
Well, you know,
I like you... a lot.
I mean, you know
that, don't you?
Show me.
(key rattles in lock)
Boy. Am I glad I've
got an extra key.
Henry, you are not gonna
believe this save Davidson made.
Here, Dana. Could
you hold this for me?
I'm gonna set it
up for you. Kip.
All right? Second period, right?
Power-play opportunity.
No score. Kip.
All right. Dana, if you'd
just hold out your arm,
I think your jewelry will get
us a little better reception.
Maybe put some
tin foil on her ears?
Kip, uh... I'll be
right with you.
I'm a nice person.
So I'm gonna tell you.
I'm gonna drop this TV.
Uh...
Henry, maybe we can
do this someplace private.
Like a Stones concert!
We'll reschedule.
(sighs)
They got it in slow motion.
Now, look, Davidson comes out
of the crease here, and
he's got to go back real fast...
This slap sh*t... Kip, why...
Why are you doing this to me?
This save is... No, not that.
Why are you doing this to me?
Because, uh... (laughs)
Because, Henry,
I don't like her.
(laughs)
She's not right for you.
She... Y-y-you're
wasting your time.
Kip, that's not for you to say.
That's none of your business.
No, it is for me to say
because, remember, I...
I pay half the rent around here.
Okay. Okay, I want
you to take your half...
and take it out of here.
(imitating Robert De
Niro): You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?
I don't see nobody else here.
You must be talkin' to me.
I'm talking to you, mister.
Don't make me
take you down, guy.
You can't take me down.
I'm bigger than you. I...
Make your move, big guy.
You first.
Lucky sh*t.
You do that again, and
you are in big trouble,
because I'm...
I dare you to do that...
I double dare you.
I triple dare... No, I don't.
All right.
You've forced me
to use my bad move.
Here's my bad m...
(screams) (yells)
Ow.
Hey, you stole my bad move.
Yeah, you do it bad.
I do it good. Ow. Ow.
I want you to say something.
I want you say
"I'm a big sissy."
Oh, come on, Henry... Ah.
All right. You're a big sissy.
Not me. Ow.
All right.
I'm a big sissy.
Good. Not good enough
yet though. Hold on.
Sonny! Sonny!
Sonny? Ooh.
Ooh.
What?
Kip has something to say to you.
I'm a big sissy.
Well, then... (sighs)
why don't you stop
wearing dresses, Kip?
Gosh.
Got a point there.
I hear sissy footsteps.
If I'm bleeding, I'm
gonna call my mom.
KIP: Hey, did you see this?
This is the result
of a savage b*ating
at the hands of a maniac!
My mom called your mom,
and, boy, are you in trouble.
Knock it off, will
you? You're not hurt.
Oh, no? Not hurt,
huh? Just watch this.
(crying out)
Did I pass out?
Kip, why don't we just...
sit down and talk?
I'll let the legal firm of
Howard, Howard & Fein
do the talking for me.
Kip, don't you understand?
I just want your
approval or something.
I mean, I want you to like Dana.
I mean, if I didn't
care what you thought,
I wouldn't have beaten you up.
That's what my father
always used to say.
Oh, Hen... Henry, forget it.
(scoffs, chuckles)
(in unison): I'm really sorry.
No, no, no. You don't
need to apologize.
I need to apologize first...
No. No, Henry, it should be me
who's apologizing.
No, I have to do it.
It was my fault. Will
you shut up and...?
I should apologize. Will
you stop intimidating me?
All right, you win.
You apologize.
All right. Um... (awkward laugh)
I am not jealous of Dana.
Th-th-there's no reason
to be jealous of Dana.
Uh, she's all right.
I almost like her.
Almost. Well, I don't hate her.
It's just that... (sighs)
watching my closest friend
get serious about someone
has... Has just shown me
how... fragile a...
A friendship can be.
Now, uh, we are
never gonna be as close
as we are right now.
Uh, from... From here on in.
Sure we will.
No. No, we won't, Henry.
That's just the thing.
One of these days, you
are gonna marry somebody.
Maybe Dana.
A-and I'm gonna marry somebody,
uh, maybe Sonny.
Probably Sonny.
I'll be married to
Sonny, a-and...
And when that happens... (sighs)
this friendship of ours
is... Is slowly gonna fade away.
And its gonna be like
losing... my brother.
No, it won't. No, it won't.
It'll just be the beginning.
No. No, it won't.
Come on, Kip. If
we're lucky enough
to have wives
and... And families,
well, I... I know I'll want to
have your family
over all the time.
Look, Henry, that's
not the same thing.
Yes, look, and we'll
do the family stuff:
the outings and
the... And the picnics
and that kind of junk.
No. No.
Yes. And no matter
how much I love them,
it's not gonna change
how I feel about you.
You sure?
Sure I'm sure.
Solid.
(surfer accent): For sure.
You know, like, if we
were like, you know,
in, like, Malibu... (snorts)
we'd, like, you know...
like, hug, you know?
(surfer accent):
Really. Hang 10.
I don't know. Let's...
Well, let's... share some space.
I'm secure... for sure.
(telephone rings)
(normal voice): Sixty Seconds.
Hi, Mom.
Yes, I hit him,
but he deserved it.
What? No. Please, don't.
No. Mom, don't. Ple... Mom.
Hello, Mrs. Wilson.
(normal voice): Hi, Mom.
Yes, I... I know. I'm sorry.
You're right. Yeah.
(laughs)
Yeah. You're right.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. Okay.
I know. You're right.
Oh, yeah. Fine. Okay.
Would you, uh... Would
you put my mom on, please?
Bye, mom! He says, "Bye."
She says, "Goodbye."
Yeah, I...
All right.
Oh... Okay, fine.
Okay, Mom. All right.
G... All right. Goodbye.
(humming)
I've, uh... Tsk.
I've got to go to my room.
(snickering)
Forget about supper.
I'm grounded.
Don't worry. I'll bring you some
Army men and graham crackers
from the store.
(laughing)
Don't read my comic books.
( mellow theme playing)
Wait a minute.
Are we gonna be alone,
or will the troops
come marching in?
Oh. I'll check on...
On that for you. Okay.
Because, as you know...
(imitates George C. Scott):
America loves a winner.
Yeah, well, you
see, I bought, uh...
Kip and Sonny, uh,
tickets to a movie.
Bambi.
He loves that.
Now, nobody's even seen
sight or sound of Amy...
all day, and I
have gathered up...
all the keys.
(clears throat)
Well...
I guess, then, everything
is just about perfect.
Just about.
I bought a red light bulb.
Why don't we
leave the lights on?
(bulb bounces on floor)
I've been waiting all
my life for a woman
to say that to me.
(Irish accent): Well, I was gonna
show you the Murphy bed now, wasn't I?
(Irish accent): I
thought you'd never ask.
Now, I'll just move
this door here.
And as I was gonna
show you before...
(giggles)
Gosh, I... I guess you
forgot you left me here
after last night.
Any good movies
on cable tonight?
Yeah. One behind the Murphy bed.
In, in, in, in. No!
B... Back.
( upbeat jazz theme playing)
02x08 - Other Than That, She's a Wonderful Person
Watch/Buy Amazon
Follows the misadventures of two single men, working in creative advertising, struggling in their industry while disguising themselves as women in order to live in the one apartment they could afford.
Follows the misadventures of two single men, working in creative advertising, struggling in their industry while disguising themselves as women in order to live in the one apartment they could afford.