02x17 - Champagne High

[bunniefuu]

Attention, westside shoppers

Scott james
from "kplj hit music radio"

Reminding you
to set your watches

Because in five minutes

Kplj will give away

A brand-new porsche.

What a car!

Okay, guys?

Great!

Hey, I like them.

Nice. How much?

.

So buy them,
but do it fast.

I'm starving.

I'd just lose them
anyway.

I'm that way about guys
who don't buy me lunch.

Thanks, ricky.

Sure.

Listen, ricky--

Can you find
the coke machine

And bring me my drink?

Yeah, I think so.

You're so sensitive, lane.

Just asking the guy
to do his job.

Maybe you could
get a job as her butler.

Judy's different.

Really?

Really.

Her old man
would be just thrilled

To have a pizza cutter
as a son-in-law.

It could happen.

Uh-huh, really?

Really.

Scott james standing here
with a question--

Does anybody want
this poor, lonely porsche?

( Crowd cheers )

You can't believe
the number of people

That tried to bribe me
to pull their name.

You'd think one of them
would meet my price.

All right, digging deep.

You feeling lucky today?

( Cheers )

How'd you like
to drive out of here

With this automobile?

This one feels good.

Ooh... This one
feels very lucky.

Is there a melissa baron
present?

( Scream of joy )

You're looking great today,
melissa.

Lovely
to see you.

That's the one.

Come on up.

You're funny, lane.

Sensitive, too.

Well, melissa, you've made it
past the hard part.

Find the right key

And the porsche
is yours.

She's got it.
She's got it.

All right, melissa,
let's give it a sh*t.

Here we go.

Feel good?

Yeah.

Give it
a try.

( Nothing happens )

( Scott groans
and crowd groans )

Too bad.
Come on out.

A good try.

You looked good doing it.

Let's make her feel
better about this.

We'll be back
in one hour

To give away
this porsche.

It could be
your turn...

She probably couldn't afford
the insurance, anyway.

Want to see a movie?

You go ahead. I've got to go.

Drew, come on.

Nobody studies
every night.

It's not natural.

I'm a future leader
of tomorrow.

I've got to be ready.

I'll see you later.

( Engine starts )

( Screeching tires )

♪ We never thought of finding ♪

♪ The place where we belong ♪

♪ Don't have to stand alone ♪

♪ We'll never let you fall ♪

♪ Don't need permission ♪

♪ To decide what you believe ♪

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ I said jump! ♪

♪ Down on jump street ♪

♪ I said jump! ♪

♪ Down on jump street ♪

♪ Your friends will be there ♪

♪ When your back is ♪
to the wall ♪

♪ You'll find you need us ♪

♪ 'Cause there's no one else
to call ♪

♪ When it looks hopeless ♪

♪ A decision's what you need ♪

♪ You better be ready to ♪

♪ Be ready to ♪

♪ Jump! ♪

♪ Jump street! ♪

I offer my services
on the stolen porsche matter.

( Enunciating: )
porsche.

Hoffs!
Hanson!

How many entry blanks
did you fill out?

Twenty-five hundred.

That porsche is
rightfully mine.

What's the deal
on lane keetcham?

Could he have
stolen the car?

He only rips off
what fits in his pocket.

You two familiar
with this situation?

Yeah, south central
is too crowded

So the overflow's being bussed
into luxurious westside high.

Turning that once
blissful community

Into a crime-infested
hellhole.

Yeah. Well, the reality is,
shoplifting and burglaries

Are up in the area since
this bussing program began.

Naturally, south central kids
are taking the rap.

You're not making any progress
on the one westside kid

With a record.

The chief has
a radio station

A car dealership,
a shopping mall

And three insurance companies
camping in his office.

Anyone take
"grand theft auto"
at south central?

That's what you two
will find out.

Hoffs, stick with keetcham.

I'm not convinced
he's a dead end.

Those kids are getting
their first sh*t

At a real education.

I don't want them sent back
to overcrowded classrooms

Because an idiot took a joyride
in "penhall's" porsche.

Hoffs:
better have a good cover, boys.

Those south central dudes
are tough.

The mcquaid brothers!

Huh!
Huh!

Both:
hello!

Hey, where's your pass?

My dog ate it.

We got the same dog.

Hey!

No pass--

No ride.

Top of the morning,
ladies and gents.

Everybody relax.

The mcquaid brothers
will guide you safely

To your destination.

Who the hell are they?

We'll be cruising
this morning

At speeds between
and miles per hour.

So kick back
and enjoy the ride.

That algebra midterm was
a couple days ago, wasn't it?

Yeah, I think
I drilled it.

You can't let up, drew.

I'm not letting up.

Remember that kid
out there somewhere?

Yeah.

He's smarter than you
and he works harder than you.

He'll snatch that scholarship
right out of your hands.

So you've got
to bear down, son.

I've got a few minutes.

Can I give you a lift?

It's only
a couple blocks.

See you later, okay?

Okay.

It was
inspirational.

I'm only sorry I didn't
think about it first.

Give me a break.

Your mother would swallow
the medicine chest.

Promises,
promises.

What would
you do with it?

The whole police department
must be looking for it.

I'd sell it
to some sleazy
used car dealer

And buy myself
a convertible

And spend what's left
on a trip to hawaii.

I'm in.
How about you?

I wouldn't steal a car

For the money.

If mike averages newspapers
every six minutes

And larry delivers papers
every eight minutes

Working together

How long
will it take them

To deliver
newspapers?

Lane?

Why don't you ask someone
who will do it for a living?

( Students laugh )

Because I'm asking you, lane.

Thirty-one minutes.

Correct.

Very often
you can reduce

Everyday activities
into algebraic equations.

Yeah, I do that all the time.

Good, then you can
try one for us now.

Pass.

Not unless you come up
with an equation.

( Laughter )

( Clears throat )

If mike can rip off
an average of one car stereo

Per eight minutes

And hes got to deliver
ten stereos to his fence

Then how long
will the job take?

( Low voice: )
don't that depend if mike

Has to check out
the cars?

Are all the cars
in the same lot?

What's the story
on that?

( Bell rings )

Your midterms are graded.

Pick them up
on the way out.

Hey, nice hat.

Nice shirt.

( Clears throat )

Excuse me,
mr. Wickenton.

I believe there's a mistake.

You took off full credit

On these
problems.

You used the wrong formula.

But shouldn't I get
some points?

The wording of those problems
was kind of misleading.

It was clear to the rest
of the class.

How about an oral exam
for extra credit?

The grade stands, drew.

Relax, an isn't the end
of the world.

Must have been a mess.

Just the opposite.

The only trace were
a set of tire tracks

Down the middle
of the mall.

Cleanup squad must have
put in some serious overtime.

Oh, yeah.

Listen, judy.

Yeah?

I think you're real different

You know?

From the other girls, I mean.

I just wanted to tell you that.

I'm glad you did.

I think you're really sweet.

We all do, rick.

Want to get
in gear?

I've got
people waiting.

We'll talk later, okay?

Listen, ricky--

It's real cute
hitting on judy

But save yourself
a lot of embarrassment.

Hey, ricky, what
kind of wine goes
with pepperoni--

Red or white?

( Screaming )

Wally, it's time to play.

Wally...

Hanson:
I thought these guys
from south central

Were supposed
to be tough.

The mcquaids?

Don't forget
your bus pass
this afternoon.

Show time,
wally.

Oh!

What have we got?

No, no...

( Cloth ripping )

Oh!

"Full wedgie removal."

I perfected that move myself
in summer camp, july ' .

What else
you got, wally?

Oh, pay day.

Pay day.

Thank you very much.

Thank you
very much.

What is wrong
with you people?

We're friendly!

Hey, yo, sawyer.

Come
over here.

We want
to talk to you.

What do you say
we just forget
about today?

You guys want to be friends?

You know
your way around.

This place has potential
for the right guys.

You want to do business
in this school

Just make sure it isn't mine.

I'm beginning
to like this guy.

( Knocking )

Yeah?

Mahoney from westside
division called, captain.

Some kid was just busted

For shoplifting
at the mall.

Yeah, so?

This kid was wearing
a $ , rolex.

Something special
about these shades?

I lost my old pair.

Maybe you lost
your old watch also?

And lifted a rolex
to replace it?

No, I don't
think so, captain.

The watch is mine.

You got a receipt?

I bought it on the street.

Okay, it's not my watch.

It's my father's.

You can ask him about it

When my folks come back
from the orient if you like.

You drive what, lane--

A bmw, right?

Yeah.

Handle pretty well?

Yeah.

How is it compared to, say...

The porsche turbo
that was stolen?

Look--

Captain fuller,
we both know I'll pay a fine

And go right on living
the kind of lifestyle

That you only see in pictures.

So why don't we
put perry mason to bed

And wait for my father's
attorney to arrive?

Jeez, you know,
I wish you were my kid, lane.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You wouldn't smile for a week.

If I was your kid,
I'd be living in a house

The size of
my game room.

What's the story
on the watch?

It's not listed on these
stolen property reports.

Won't know until we talk
to lane's father.

Anything stolen showed up
on these reports?

That's the weird part.

As far as we can tell

None of this stuff
made it to the street.

Maybe this guy's
a nonprofit thief.

Or he doesn't know
how to get rid of it.

We need a way to force

Some merchandise out
into the open.

Wally, are we having fun?

No, no.

I can't
hear you.

Do you understand
what I'm telling you?

I've got all day,
wally, all day.

Harder.

All right.

All right?

I give.

You give?

I give!

All right.

Come on, man, that's bucks!

So today I get a bonus.

I'll tell you what.

You've been a good boy
today, wally--

A really good boy.

Today
we skip the wedgie.

b*at it.

Hey, what's
wally good for?

Hey, he's my action,
mcquaid.

It's not like the little
wussy worked for this money.

Hey, drew, you're in judy's
spanish class next, right?

Mind giving her this?

Give it to her yourself, man.

What's the big deal?

It's not going to happen.

Can't you see that?

Why would she
want you?

What's your problem?

Look, she's just being nice.

That's how
judy is.

That's all
it is.

I don't think so.

Hey, man,
how's it going?

Fine.

You?

Well, that's
kind of why i, uh...

I wanted to ask you...

Can i...
Can I ask you something?

You want to take that chance?

I want to make you
a business proposition.

I'll pay you $ a week
to be my bodyguard

And keep these guys
from south central off me.

Go away.

Forty bucks.

Okay, look, bucks--

That's my allowance
for the week.

My dad owns a stereo store.

I could get you stuff
for free if you want.

Come on, man.

They don't leave me alone.

I don't even do anything.

You got a problem
with your hearing?

What was that
all about?

Nothing.

Wally:
put me down!

Sawyer:
you'll feel better
after a nice shower.

Let go of me.

Hey, sawyer--

Leave
the kid alone.

Shut up, wilder

Or you're
going in next.

Come on, wally, you're
going to like this.

Move.

Put him down.

Eat it.

You must want to see
what the inside

Of your neck
looks like.

Drop him.

This doesn't concern you,
mcquaid.

Yeah, it does.

Wally's
our new friend.

From now on,
we're shaking him down.

Like hell you are.

Tommy.

You two are beginning
to get on my nerves.

Come on, you guys--
open the door!

Heh.
Heh.

( Bell rings )

Mcquaids!

Sawyer, come over here.

Bring your bat.

This is the guy
I was telling you about.

I might use this
on you guys.

Want to get hurt
or make money?

What are you talking about?

He's a little slow

But he's cool.

Harry converts
merchandise

Into hard
currency.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Brand name electronics,
lap-top computers

Even musical instruments
can bring cents on the dollar

If you're
interested.

What? Like a tuba?

If you get
information

I've got a buyer lined up

For the porsche stolen
the other night.

What terms?

Oh, say, a ten percent
finder's fee.

So, harry gets

Cents
on the dollar

For a porsche
that's worth grand.

So that's $ , .

And ten percent
of $ , is...

Hanson:
is... Is $ , .

Very good.

I give you an "a."

Thank you.

( Horn honking )

How about a night off
from the books?

Yeah, sounds like a plan.

You want a lift?

Nah, it's okay.

I like the walk.

Suit yourself.

Ciao.
See you later.

When exactly were you planning
on showing me this, drew?

You went
through my stuff?

As long as you're
living under my roof

You don't have
any "stuff."

Dad, one " "
isn't gonna hurt me.

You must think
the universities

Just give money away
to anybody who asks.

No, I don't think that.

You think they're looking
for "b"-average students

Who use the word "gonna"
in their vocabularies?

I'm not a "b" student.

This test is
an embarrassment.

I want you hitting
those books.

I'll be back in an hour,
okay?

I just want to go out
with my friends.

I didn't move us
into this school district

So you could learn how
to talk back to your father.

Besides,
they're not your friends.

Yes, they are.

Real friends wouldn't

Drag you down.

I don't want to hear
another word.

Drew:
no...

Dad, please...

( Slapping )

Stop, dad!

( Slapping )

Stop!

Hoffs:
where to now, guys?

Lane:
how about your house--

A little snack,
a little menage a trois?

He's sleepwalking
again.

Lane, get out
of my car.

Judy, I'm touched.

Whoa, judy!

Who's the secret admirer?

Did he think I'd
see some jewelry

And get hot for him?

That's the way it usually works.

Choke on it, penhall.

No, I'm serious.

Eleventh grade,
gwenny boland--

A red-haired,
flat-chested wench

With a mouth
like garbage.

A rare find
these days.

Only she didn't know
I was alive

So I bought her
this amazing gold bracelet.

Spent everything
I made caddying
that summer.

Must have been
about bucks.

You spent bucks
on some high school girl?

Ioki, I was in love.

When she saw it, so was she.

Just how long
did this relationship

Grounded in trust
and friendship last?

Three weeks.

It's still the best
three weeks of my life.

My point is
ricky's hormones
are out of whack.

He ain't
thinking straight.

The bracelet's the real thing.

Worth
about $ .

Prices have gone up.

Where did
he rip it off?

Hasn't shown up yet

So, for now,
it's still a gift.

Can we send uniforms
into ricky's house?

Not without a search warrant.

That bracelet obviously wasn't
meant as a friendship gift.

I hate to lead ricky on.

So don't.

Go see him.

Say he's misjudged
the situation

And, while you're there

Check out the place
for stolen property.

Great. I can see if he's
hiding a porsche under his bed.

That's inadmissible.

It has to be out in the open.

I knew that.

Let's not rule out
ricky could have made this buy

From lane, sawyer
or some other player.

Maybe we need to put together
a little sting operation.

You know, hold out a carrot,
see who bites.

Think I got just the guy
who can help us.

Good.

What?

No.

No?

Why, I thought
it was funny.

Did you think
it was funny?

I guess you got no
sense of humor, huh, wally?

What are
you doing?

You going to be a gym coach
when you get older?

Together:
hello!

You whistled?

Go away.

I told you, wally is ours.

What is with you guys?

I thought we were
in business together here.

We are.

You see, we turn you on
to our friend harry

And in appreciation

You sign wally over to us.

What if that's not
all right with me?

What if I want
to keep wally for myself?

He rough you up?

( Catcalls )

Wally,
wally...

It's payday,
wally.

Hey, no problem.

We don't
want money.

We want...
Lunch.

What are you doing?

My dad will go nuts.

We'll put
everything back.

I can't let you guys do this.

Come on, I'm not
even allowed in here.

Here we go.

He's got a delivery
today at : --

A whole truckload
of c.d. Players.

Come on, guys.

You're not ripping off
my dad's store?

Wally, relax.

The truth is we're
undercover police officers.

Yeah, right.

( Phone ringing )

Yeah?

What are
you doing?

You sick?

I'm sleeping.

Drew, it's lunch time.
Put on a tie...

You missed your
history midterm, idiot!

I know. I felt like
blowing it off.

You felt like blowing off
your midterm?

Drew,
proud of you.

Want to meet
us for lunch?

Got reservations at la rouge.

Sounds good.

Give me minutes, okay?

Okay.

Ricky:
like it?

Of course I like it.

It's beautiful, but...

It must have cost
a fortune.

I have a job.

You really shouldn't
spend so much money.

Why?

I wanted you
to have it.

Ricky!

I'm sorry.

I thought
you wanted to...

I don't know what I thought.

It's okay, it's okay.

Look, I think
you're a great guy

And I really like you

But just not in that way.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

No big deal.

I hope we can still be friends.

God, I hate it
when a girl says that.

Everyone tipped off
about the c.d.s?

Did everything but
announce it over the p.a.

First time I ever
saw sawyer smile.

Let's see who swallows the bait.

Together:
move in, coach.

( Siren )

Policeman:
hold it right there.

So, who do we
have here?

Together:
ricky.

So, why did you
do it, ricky?

I don't know.

It was stupid.

Haven't you ever done anything
stupid in your life?

I never stole before, I swear.

Give me a lie detector

If you want.

What about your friend,
jerome sawyer?

He come into any money lately?

Maybe
a new car?

No.

Hey, I don't know anything
about that porsche.

I was at home when

The thing was
ripped off.

I swear.

I asked you about sawyer.

No.

I mean, yeah.

He talks like he would,
no problem

But he wouldn't.

Look, I did it for the money--

Trying to impress some girl.

I will never do something
like this again, I swear it.

Just please let me go.

Please.

We set ricky up, captain.

Maybe not
according

To the letter of the law

But we are responsible.

I don't think so.

He was an honest kid
until we manipulated his life.

Nobody forced him to rip off
an electronics store.

Oh? I gave him the motive

And the "mcquaids" shoved
the opportunity down his throat.

The bottom line is:
the decision was still ricky's.

No, the bottom line is:

He was a -year-old
kid with a crush

Who made a mistake.

I'm not saying
this is always a smooth ride

But now is not the time
to reassess the concept

Of the jump
street program.

What's going to happen to him?

He'll be charged.

Can't we call
the assistant d.a.?

Ricky's got no priors.

Maybe we can get them
to drop the charges.

Captain, we set that kid up
for a fall

He never would have taken

And we were wrong.

The innocent guy
took the bait.

I'll see what I can do.

( Knocking )

Yeah?

Someone called
to meet with ioki.

Sawyer?

Drew wilder.

What's this place?

A guy I know
lives here.

Doesn't drive.

Lets me use the garage
for storing stuff.

You've been a busy camper.

I never thought
about selling the stuff

Until now.

Why did you steal it?

Money
for college.

I don't think
I'm getting

A scholarship.

So...

What do you think
I can get for it?

Well, uh...

Just off the top of my head...

I'd say three to five years.

( Sirens wailing )

What do I tell people
at work tomorrow?

What am I supposed
to say to them, drew?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Why did you do it?

Can you tell me that?

I don't know.

I just did it.

For what?

For fun?

For money?

The clothes I buy you
aren't good enough.

You had to wear
a question mark

On your jeans.

Look, I just...

I just wanted them to like me.

I didn't make sacrifices

For you to worry
about being liked.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry.

You wait

Till we
get home.

Drew:
b*at me again?

I never asked you
to sacrifice nothing.

The proper word is "anything."

I tried to give you the best,
but you're too selfish

To see it.

I know.

I'm too selfish,
too lazy, too spoiled.

I have no
respect

No consideration, no ambition.

My grades stink,
my friends stink

I stink, okay?

I'm a lousy son--

The worst.

Watch how you talk to me.

Oh, I forgot: I talk back.

Forget it, man.

Nothing I do
satisfies you.

Because I expect you
to use your full potential.

Full potential?

I bring home a

And you ask what happened
to the other two points!

Nobody's got
that much potential!

Mr. Wilder--

Bail's
been posted.

Your son's free
to go now.

We'll finish this discussion
at home.

You mean
you'll finish it.

Mr. Wilder, you might
give some thought

To what your son
was telling you.

Sounds like he's
under a lot of pressure.

Don't tell me
how to raise my kid.

Yeah, he's doing such
a great job on his own.

Come on.

You're over the line,
mr. Wilder.

Unless disciplining my son
is a crime, captain

You're over the line.

I'm starting to get
this real bad feeling.

Like mr. Wilder
won't be satisfied
grounding drew.

It's not like we're
out of our jurisdiction.

No, we just
visiting a friend.

If mr. Wilder's
b*ating his son

We'll chuck him
out the window.

There we might run
into a few problems.

Hey, drew,
you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Where's your father?

In the house.

I told him not to hit me.

I told him a bunch of times.

Hanson!

Call
an ambulance.

Sawyer:
wally,
wally...

Wally, I've
been thinking.

You won't always
have the mcquaids

To hide behind.

You'll be in
a body cast by then.

Then I might as well
dropkick your face right now

And get the whole
thing over with.

Or we could
call a truce.

A truce?

You mean, you'd
stop coming after me

And I get the mcquaids
to lay off you?

Yeah, a truce.

I figure you have
enough trouble

Being the biggest
dweeb in school.

So, we got a deal?

I don't think so.

I like the situation
the way it is.

But I'll let you know, okay?

Hey, guys.

Wally, we was
looking for you.

Yeah?

You guys want to see a movie?

Sometime?

We got bad news.

We're moving.

Penhall:
old man got
transferred.

Transferred?

You can't leave.

I'm sorry, but that
just won't be possible.

We can't
protect you

For the rest
of your life.

Learn to take care
of yourself.

Come on,
be a man.

We salute you.

Sawyer!