05x07 - Love on the Brain

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Junior: Getting through
college successfully

requires hard work, determination,

and deep focus.

And not just on your studies.

You know you can't expect us
to work hard and not play hard.

'Cause for my crew, Thursday night

is our night to turn up,

to make memories
that'll last a lifetime.

Or at least until the sun comes up.

♪♪

Those nights when you just
give in and roll the dice,

not knowing how things will end up.

And, honestly, that's the fun!

It's the excitement of not knowing!

Because somehow, things always work out

- how they're supposed to.
- Are you excited for tonight?

- Yes.
- Alright, y'all.

Bad b*tches link up,
bad b*tches drink up!

[All cheer]

Whoo-hoo!

Junior: Ladies.

♪ With the juice I got ♪

- Okay, sir!
- Wow!

- Okay, Junior.
- Okay, Junior.

Okay!

Just a little sparkle.

- For you.
- Take a sh*t. Come on.

Yes!

Let's get after it.

Let's go! Let's go!

- Yes!
- Whoo!

♪ Like a tornado ♪

♪ Black X in the driveway ♪

♪ Hit a hundred twenty on the highway ♪

♪ Mercedes-Benz with the top gone ♪

♪ Down Sunset, listenin' to pop songs ♪

Ah. Security re-wanded
me like four times.

Apparently, he didn't believe
I was with four "tenderonis."

See? I'm with them!

- Security guard: Whatever, man.
- Yeah.

Ha! Out here looking like
some stand-ins from "Euphoria."

- Uh.
- Excuse me?

Mm-hmm.

And on that offensive note...

♪ Spinnin' round, girl, like a tornado ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Like a tornado ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'mma feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Let's get 'em up ♪

♪ Get, get 'em, get, get,
get, get 'em, get up ♪

♪ Get 'em now, do it
B-I-G in the V-I-P ♪

♪ Tell 'em B-Y-E when we party hoppin' ♪

Turns out, the hottest woman here

wasn't just working the party,

she was literally working the party,

promoting it for Doug.

[Sighs] I know.

That is a great revenge dress.

Revenge? She and her dude broke up?

Uh, she unfollowed him on Instagram.

Bye-bye, Kyle.

Kyle? Kyle like unibrow
Kyle or Tall Kyle?

Hot, rich, Black...

I mean, hot rich African-American Kyle.

♪♪

[Chuckles]

assh*le Kyle from the Crest!

Annika Longstreet?

Don't let the Louboutins
and the Gucci fool you.

She's just not one of us.

And The Crest isn't about to go ghetto.

She does not know how to pick 'em.

But I will be the best thing
that ever happened to her.

It's a win-win for everybody.

♪♪

♪ Goofy and sweet
just like a Spike Lee ♪

Yo! Congratulations,
man! This place is packed.

- I'm proud of you.
- Thank you, man.

Yo, all I could think
about was how happy I was

when I was throwing parties with Luca,

and then I realized, well,
I could use this space

so influencers and creatives

could connect, collab, do their thing.

- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.

You are the hostess with the mostess.

Thank you, bro. That's for sure.

♪♪

Man: Whoo!

Okay. Just so you know,

I am keeping a running tab
of everyone's drinks tonight,

and I will be accepting
tips as your server.

- Zah, is that you?!
- Kym! Hello.

I was not expecting to see you.

Why not? This party's poppin'.

It's a lot better now that you're here.

I'm gonna go get a drink.
Better be here when I get back.

Wait. Don't you have Bella coming?

- I do.
- God, I'm impressed!

I can't even run and play
tennis at the same time.

Look. I think all you
need to do is keep it real.

If you're open and honest
about what you want,

then nobody's feelings get hurt.

And, honestly, right now,

I'm just really trying to have fun.

- Same.
- Mmm!

Long Island Iced Tea is so good!

I feel like my heart's b*ating faster.

Is this what it feels like to do coke?

Okay. Please tell me you had
something to eat before you came.

I had a handful of peanuts!

YOLO.

YOLO?

- Girl, not YOLO.
- YOLO.

♪ We get it big, we get it big ♪

♪ We get it bigger than big ♪

♪ Know what it is ♪
♪ You know what it is ♪

♪ Who get it bigger than this? ♪

- Wow!
- Yo, can we get three sh*ts

of your second-most
expensive tequila, please?

- Bartender: Coming right up.
- Yes.

No, no, no, no! Nah, bro! Eyes ahead!

- They are.
- I'm watching you all night.

I'm a one-Zoey man, alright?

- I don't trust you.
- I don't know what you're talking about.

- It's about Doug tonight.
- True.

He made this whole event
happen, so I have to make sure

that he doesn't go home empty-handed.

It's for you, Douglas.

You know what? You're right.
I put on this sexy event.

- Yeah.
- I look good. I smell good.

I should at least be able to go home

with a new set of cheeks in my sheets.

You're gonna get it in tonight.
I'm gonna make sure of it.

I'm the Batman to your Robin.

You mean I'm Batman.

No, no, no, no. You're Robin, buddy.

You see how I'm comin'...

- Hey. Robin's pretty cool, though, bro.
- Absolutely.

So, uh, how does one gauge

the moment to pull up on a young lass?

n*gro, what? Young lass?

- That's not cool. Okay.
- Mnh-mnh.

- Um, well, Annika, she broke up with Kyle.
- Yeah.

And I feel like I should make a move.

But the body isn't cold yet.
I don't know. What should I do?

All is fair in love and w*r. It's you.

You gotta strike while
the iron's hot, man.

Yeah, man, it ain't a thing
if there ain't no ring.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Do you only speak in ghetto proverbs,

or is there another mode?

- Mm-hmm.
- It works for him.

- Cheers to that.
- Cheers.

- My brothers.
- Hey.

- To a beautiful night.
- Man: Alright now.

♪ Make it bounce,
bounce with me, bounce ♪

♪ Bounce, bounce with
me, make it bounce ♪

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

I was gathering signatures

for a redistricting protest petition.

- What did I miss here?
- Nothing much.

Just everyone practicing dissociative
avoidance through alcohol.

♪ Make it bounce ♪

Uh-oh. Damn. What is she avoiding?

Yeah, you know what?
I'm... I'm so sorry.

But just give me like five
minutes, and I'll come find you.

Okay.

♪ Bounce, bounce with me ♪

♪ Make it bounce ♪

♪ Bounce with me, bounce with me ♪

♪ Do it on a handstand ♪

♪ Back it on a handstand ♪

♪ You need to bounce,
yeah, switch that flow ♪

- ♪ Straight back on them feet ♪
- What's up, guys?

It's your girl Annika,
coming to you live.

And this party is lit.

If you're not here already,

you better get here right now!

♪♪

♪ I could get used to this ♪

♪ I could get used to this, yeah ♪

♪ / drip ♪

♪ I could get used to this ♪

♪ I could get used to this ♪

♪ sh**t' my sh*t 'cause I don't miss ♪

♪ Yeah, I like the risk,
you could see what I rock ♪

I'm not gonna lie... watching Annika
do her thing is a major turn-on.

One more sip of this,

and there is nothing stopping
me from telling her what it is.

♪ Act like you don't,
but you know what it is ♪

♪ I could get used to this ♪

♪ I could get used to this ♪

♪♪

♪ I could get used to this ♪

♪♪

♪ Yeah, I could get used to this ♪

Okay. Plot twist.

I guess there isn't a cooldown period?

♪ I could get used to this ♪

Did Kyle just make things
even easier for your boy?

♪ Yeah, I could get used to this ♪

[Sighs]

Yo. Zaara. Kyle's here,
and he's with another girl.

No way?

Yeah, look at them.

Kyle has literally zero class.

Absolutely none.

Dude, Annika cannot see him.

Why not?

He's playing her in front of everybody!

It's gonna blow her whole night.

Oh, my God. She's coming, she's coming.

We have to do something. Do
something. Uh, dance circle!

Dance circle! Kiela!

- Kiela, Kiela, Kiela!
- Okay, okay!

Ahh!

Ohh! Okaaaaay!

Yeah, girl.

Look at me. Eyes on me.

Unh-unh, unh-unh. The other way.

[Laughter] Whoo!

Yeah!

♪♪

Yo, Annika, ple...

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Hi. How you doin'?
- I'm good. How are you?

You know, your energy feels really good.

- Does it?
- Yeah.

I'm an Aries, by the way. What's...

- Awesome.
- What's your sign?

- I am a Virgo.
- Hm.

Least compatible of all the signs.

We're just a horrible, wretched people.

But my friend over there, Doug,

he actually gets along with everyone.

Look at that suit.

I'm looking for a Batman.

He's more a Robin.

That's what I was saying!
You've seen your comics.

- Yeah.
- But Batman is, uh...

He's not going out tonight. Sorry.

Appreciate you, though.

Hey! How are you? That
seat's just for you.

- Well, thank you.
- Listen. I'm just gonna get straight to it.

My friend Doug over there,
he broke up with his girl,

hasn't left the house in six months.

Six, okay?

And the first time I've seen him smile

in a long time is when
he saw you tonight.

And that's the God's honest truth.

So why don't you just let
me introduce you to him?

Well, I only sat next to you

because if my boyfriend
caught me cheating,

you'd be worth it.

Good luck to your man, though.

Alright.

So, uh, I don't know
what's going on, man.

I'm trying. I'm doing my best here.

I must be giving off this
Committed Righteous Black Man energy

because the amount of
estrogen coming this way,

it's... it's ridiculous.

Bro, it's cool, it's cool.

Look, if I was in Vegas right now,

I'd be cashing out, so, uh...

Yeah, man, it's just not
in the cards for me tonight.

- [Cellphone rings]
- No.

- Zoey.
- Ooh.

- The wife.
- Take that.

- Okay.
- Alright?

- I'll call you back.
- Peace.

♪♪

It's one of them nights.

Zoey: Oh! Okay. Hi, babe!
I'm so glad I got you!

- Hey, babe.
- I have a question.

Which one of these sweaters screams,

"I need an advance on my expense account

but not because it's mohair season"?

Um...

Wait. Where are you? Are you out?

Am I out? No, I'm not out.

Well, I-I'm not at
home, so, yes, I'm out.

But I'm not, like, "out" out.

Peaches: Ohh! I thought
I saw you slip in here.

Hey. How you doing? I think
you need to leave, okay?

You should get outta here. Thank you.

Aaron, who are you talking to?

- No one, babe. It's the newscaster.
- No one?

I'm watching the TV, and there's
a police chase going on right now.

Oh, my God. You are so funny!

[Chuckles] Am I?

Aaron, what's going on?

Huh? Nothing, nothing, babe.

Listen, I think you got me confused

with someone who's not in a
committed relationship, okay?

Thank you so much, yes.

Have a good one. Good night. Heh.

Alright. Uh...

Sweaters, sweaters. Black sweater.

I like the black one because
it matches everything.

Cut it, cut it. We are not going back

to talking about sweaters after that.

Okay. Alright, alright.

- I'm just gonna keep it real with you.
- Please.

All these women at this
party, they can sense

that I'm in a relationship,
and it makes me irresistible.

I don't know what it
is. Okay? I'm just here.

I'm trying to help Doug get hooked up.

I don't want to be here.

I'd much rather be with you.

I miss you, I love you, and this...

[Sighs]

This long-distance sh*t is hard.

If I'm being honest.

Yeah. No, it's hard on me, too.

I mean, that's why I'm calling,
asking about fashion advice

when I clearly don't need it.

And, babe, you know,

it's totally okay if you're going out.

It's not like I expect
you to stay at home

and stare at pictures of me while
trying to catch the faint smell

of my left-behind
perfume on your bedding.

I do love your perfume.

Mm! Thank you. It's bespoke.

And, you know, we're gonna be okay.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Okay. So, game plan,
game plan, game plan.

Alright. Here it is. I'm
gonna go back inside...

- Yeah.
- ... gonna make my rounds.

Then I'm gonna call it a
night. I'm gonna bounce, okay?

That's smart. That's smart.

Because otherwise, I may
have to fly out and push up

on the next girl that tries
to put hands on my man!

Babe, we know you can't fight.

New York has really
changed me. Look at this.

Yeah. Your form is terrible.

Alright. I love you.

Alright, babe, love you.
Call you after, alright?

Bye. [Smooches]

[Beep]

[Inhales deeply] Okay.

[Fingers snapping] Back into
the jungle. Back into the jungle.

♪ If the world was on my shoulders ♪

So, this doesn't look like
you're getting hot wings.

Hey, Kym. Uh, this is Bella,

a fellow progressive
dater in our modern time...

We literally just finished making out,

and your tongue's already
down someone else's throat?

Look. I-I was honest
with both of you. If I...

Look. I don't care that
you're seeing other people.

I get it.

But you're super messy,
and I don't do messy.

Me neither.

Lose my number.

♪♪

Damn, that was hot.

♪♪

♪ So down ♪

You look like you can use one of these.

- You good?
- I'm good.

♪ Ripping it hard on every corner ♪

Ohh. Wow.

Listen. I know it sucks to
see him here with someone else,

but you deserve way better

than the way Kyle is
treating you right now.

- Mm-hmm.
- No, I'm serious.

He's got to be out of his mind.

There are plenty of
other dudes out there...

or in here...

... that would do anything
to keep a smile on your face!

Which happens to be
perfectly symmetrical! Mm!

You have to say that
because you're my friend.

No, no, I'm for real.

There are plenty of other
dudes who are better-smelling,

more attractive, who wouldn't
dare talk sh*t about you.

Wait. What?

Kyle was talking sh*t about me?

W-Well, you know, he was...
he was saying some, you know,

kind of unflattering
things at the Crest event.

There was, like, a lot of noise,
and I couldn't really hear.

- It was like...
- Hold my drinks.

♪♪

Hey. Hi, everyone.

What's up?

Shout-out to Doug and
the creative collective

for bringing you here tonight, yeah?

[Cheers and applause]

What's up to all my guys who came out?

You know, the guys who
don't use their money

to front like they're
better than anyone else.

- Crowd: Ooh!
- A... and, ladies!

All my boss b*tches out
there who don't need a man,

who are doing it for themselves,
who don't ask for respect,

but they demand respect.

- Mm!
- Whoo!

Texting back. Texts don't
get lost in the mail, fellas.

If you have time to tend to
your farm on "Animal Crossing,"

you have time to text your girl back.

Point is, we are strong
women who don't have time

for weak-ass men who smile in our face

and then talk sh*t
about us behind our back.

Mm-hmm. This is why we
don't [bleep] with men!

- Truth! Let's go!
- [Crowd cheering]

And if you're gonna ghost me,
do it with your whole chest.

Don't be creeping on my Insta Stories

while you're laid up in
bed with another girl.

Crowd: Ooh!

[Crowd murmuring]

[Sighs]

[Crowd booing]

Wow. That took a turn.

Um, speaking of turns,

here is Reba's trap cover of
Beyoncé's "If I Were a Boy"!

DJ, drop the b*at!

[Chuckles]

I've always wanted to say that.

♪♪

So...

Kyle ghosted you, huh?

Yep.

I haven't heard from him in days.

Not a text, not a call,
not a carrier pigeon,

not even a smoke signal.

Damn.

Feel so embarrassed.

I can't believe I let
him get to me like that.

I totally played myself. And on a job.

Well, the good thing is, the
Internet only lasts forever.

[Chuckles]

Look. Nobody's perfect.

I mean, I'm certainly not.

I wasn't out here
ghosting anybody tonight,

and I still managed to
hurt somebody's feelings.

Actually two somebodies.

Damn.

I mean, relationships are hard.

And I knew I shouldn't
have been dealing with Kyle.

But, honestly, I'm not
a hundred percent ready

to look at why I was with
him in the first place.

I'm not ready to look at why

I'd rather juggle two girls in one night

than emotionally
commit to one long-term.

Maybe because you're a basic bitch?

[Both chuckle]

Yeah. Maybe I am.

Maybe we both are.

Yeah.

♪♪

♪ I'm a big steppa ♪

Yo, why is it every time I see you,

you look like the test
came back positive, huh?

I don't know why I keep
doing this to myself.

You know, Annika clearly
said she just wanted

to be friends, but, of course,

I decided that something
was gonna happen tonight.

No, no, no, dude. [Chuckles]

You don't jump the line.

Friendship is a very
important, tedious process.

If I wasn't friends
with your sister first,

we would never have the
relationship we have now,

and that is a very sweaty,
very intimate, connected...

- Okay.
- All right. Yo, yo, chill, please.

- ... harmonious relation...
- Yo!

- Alright. Sorry.
- I follow, though, okay?

I need to focus in on
being a better friend.

- You're right. Thank you.
- Yeah. You're welcome.

Makes you wonder, is there
anything I can't teach?

- How to button a shirt.
- Mm.

You know what? This
is my first vibe party.

And? What... What'd you think?

It'll probably be my last.

- But you know what is a vibe?
- Hm?

The electrolyte Popsicles
I have in my mini-fridge.

Yes. Yes. You had me at electrolytes.

Let's get out of here.

♪♪

Wait. Where's Lauryn?

♪♪

Lauryn?

Lauryn, you okay?

Yep! All good!

Let's get back to the dance floor!

♪♪

Junior: So, the night
didn't go exactly as planned.

So, like I was saying,
let me slide you my number

so we can talk, kick it,
hang out, and all that.

Okay. As long as we talking
about you putting me on the list

for the next one of these
situations right here.

'Cause this party was sexy.

- Oh, you think the party was sexy?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, so in that case, baby girl,

I got you with drink
tickets and a plus-one.

The name's Doug.

Thank you.

But things worked out
how they were supposed to.

Lauryn: This never happens!

And I drink all the time!

You're cute!

- No. No. Hey, he's mine.
- Oh.

Even though we didn't
get the vibe we wanted,

we got the vibe we needed.

♪ We're better together ♪

These are the nights
when true bonds are formed

and you learn who
truly is a lightweight.

♪ Like I do ♪

These are the kind of nights

when your messy heart-to-hearts

take you from friends... to family.

♪ I know you can't see straight ♪

♪ But we're better together ♪

♪♪

[Chuckles] Hey.

I have never been so
happy to see someone

who is not drunk or throwing up.

Thanks for hanging with us tonight.

I, uh... I know it's
not the, uh, most fun

to be taking care of people all night.

Yeah. It was fun since
I got to do it with you.

Yeah, we, uh... we do
make a pretty great team.

♪ Been walking for a
while in my new shoes ♪

♪♪

♪ Little better every
day I'm without you ♪

♪♪

♪ I know that you miss
me, and that's okay ♪

[Groans]

[Sighs]

You're making this a lot
harder than I expected.

What do you mean?

Stacey Abrams asked me to help

with a voter-registration initiative,

- canvassing southern states.
- That's amazing!

That's what you've been working
towards this entire time.

Yeah, it's a pretty big deal.

But [sighs] the problem is,

it's gonna start a lot
sooner than I thought.

Uh, well, how soon?

[Sighs] Like, end of the semester soon.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪

Oh. [Chuckles]

Well, um, you know, let's
not waste any more time.

I have a southeast region
you can canvass tonight.

[Chuckling] Okay.

♪ And when you need me, I'll be there ♪