02x22 - Semi-Friendly Persuasion

[bunniefuu]

In 1972, a cr*ck commando unit
was sent to prison by a m*llitary court...

for a crime they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped
from a maximum-security stockade...

to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the A-Team.

We have wandered...

and we have searched...

and now we bring our children home.

And bread,
that you should never go hungry.

And salt, to bring your life some flavor.

You were told to get out of here.

Can't be too smart.

Eric, wait.

I don't want anything like that
from our side, no matter what they do.

Sykes.

What is it about us that scares you so bad,
you have to att*ck us?

Nothing.

Nothing about you scares me.
But what makes me mad...

is you people moved in here.

We don't want your little tribe
dirtying up our country air.

Of course, if that bothers you,
you can always kick us off your land.

No, I'm not going to use my fists
when I can still use my brain, Sykes.

You still haven't answered me.

Why does our being here
get under your skin?

Is it because we don't kick tail with you
at the corner bar?

You people sure do make me wake up mad.

Then you're in the wrong place,
aren't you?

No!

Light her up, guys.

Say, mister, is this yours?

No. I've got mine right here.

You wouldn't know where
5876 Beachfront Road is, would you?

5876. Now that sounds familiar.

I'll be back in a minute.

You see, I don't relate too much to the land.

I relate more to Father Neptune.

- Sure this isn't yours?
- No.

Maybe the guy who lost it
will come back by for it.

There's quite a lot of cash in this flapjack.

Fellow could buy himself
a part of an endless summer.

Believe me, it isn't mine.
I'm just here trying to find somebody...

and I'm not having much luck.

- You found me, didn't you?
- What?

Yeah, I was very pleased to.
But there's a specific person I'm looking for.

Right. Well, get up here off the beaten path.
You know...

the A-Team mingles, but it does not imitate
the bull's-eye on a target.

The A-Team?

Yeah. My boys and I had to make
sure you weren't a decoy for the m*llitary.

♪ Little Bo Peep has lost ♪

♪ Little Bo Peep she lost the sheep ♪

♪ And she didn't know where to find them ♪

♪ She put all her money ♪
♪ In the socks like a honey ♪

♪ Anything for sheep ♪

The point is, the Society of Men
cannot let itself be run out again.

The time has come now.
We gotta stop running.

Why didn't you pull the local sheriff
in on this?

Get him to flash some badge
and turn this thing around.

The elected sheriff just d*ed,
and his deputy's taken over.

He's in Kale Sykes' pocket.
Bought and paid for.

So Sykes just keeps on making
policy decisions for the locals.

A policy that doesn't include us building
our meeting house or settling down there.

And he'll bust heads to keep it that way.

Sykes hates us, he hates the Society.

He can't understand that all we want to do
is be left alone...

and live our lives quietly.

It doesn't sound like
you're asking too much.

But just what exactly do you want from us?

You say your Society
doesn't believe in v*olence.

We're not exactly caterers.

We want you to build our meeting house.

We're not exactly carpenters, either.

After Sykes b*rned what we'd built,
we got together...

we pooled our money to buy supplies
from Sinclair's Hardware Store in town.

It should be there when you arrive.

Frankly, I don't know what's so nonviolent
about that.

We're gonna get pretty rough
on that lumber.

We're going to saw it, drill it, and pound it.
Big nails go into it.

You're talking about carnage here, Eric.

Carpentry. See that doesn't play
to the strong side of my wardrobe.

Sawdust and tweed
doesn't really go together.

Visually, no.
But it makes a heck of a protein drink.

Also, nice hi-fi speakers,
if you know what you're doing.

Sawdust has an ultra-low
distortion factor, .0052.

Shut up, Murdock,
before I distort you completely.

You show me the blueprint.
We'll build you a meeting house.

They tried to stop you from building.
Why won't they stop us?

If that happens...

you expect us to turn the other cheek?

You had a big reputation in Nam. You're
good at doing things differently. Creatively.

The guys I knew that served with you...
Man, they said you were legendary.

- You're asking a lot, Eric.
- Even for a legend.

Look, the only reason the Society
isn't moving off...

or gone someplace else already
is because I convinced them...

you people could change all this.
I hope I wasn't misleading them...

or misleading myself.

I guess you're going to get to find out, Eric.

You just hired yourself the A-Team.

Legends included at no extra cost.

Come on, B.A.
We're on an auto excursion.

Why don't you play 21 Questions
with me, okay?

This is how you do it.
I'll think of something...

and you try to guess what it is
by asking me 21 questions.

Okay. Go ahead, ask.

Only question I have, fool,
is why I don't crumple you up alive.

Nice try. You have 20 left.

I think they're tying our hands here.

What are we going to do if those town folks
come after us with their cleats on?

Be as nonviolent as possible.

Eric knows what's possible and what isn't.
We'll just use our heads.

Come on, B.A., ask me another question.

Hannibal, can I take this crazy man down?

Wrong, 19 to go.

Hannibal, looks like we just stepped
into The Grapes of Wrath.

- Colonel.
- Eric.

- Karl Peerson.
- How do you do, sir?

Colonel Smith, you seem preoccupied
with our quarters here.

You're looking in the wrong direction.
If you want to see how well we do...

you should be looking right here.
See how we live together.

Besides, once our meeting house is
built, we'll build our permanent homes here.

First the meeting house, then your homes?

Yes. The meeting house is the personal life
of everyone here, Colonel.

That's the decision we all came to.
Not just me.

So it must be built. I hope
that you'll be able to perform the miracle...

that Eric here claims you can.

I get a feeling that you have some doubts
that we will.

I've spent my life trying to live
without hate and harm.

I think that your being here
is a signal that we're ready to fight.

However, Eric here claims
that you'll be able to outwit Sykes...

without destruction.

- I hope we can.
- I hope so, too, Colonel.

We've had enough of it.

Where is the lumber
that was supposed to be here?

Mr. Sinclair says he's having trouble
getting it from the mill.

He has our money.
So he may make us wait for some time.

The fact is, he's got a yard full of lumber.

- But not for us.
- Face.

We have to make a supply run
this afternoon.

That storekeeper, he's as bad as Sykes.
They're very good friends.

Pastor, I think friendship's a beautiful thing.

But we'll make him an offer
he can't refuse. Peaceably.

Now, Face, smile when you shake hands...

and don't forget to take the gum out
when you're introduced.

- Right, coach.
- We're going to need a truck.

All we have is right over here,
but it needs a lot of work.

B.A. will fix it up.
Murdock, give him a hand.

- I guess I better get my tools, then.
- Don't forget to get mine out.

- Your what?
- My tools.

Hannibal, can you believe this?
This fool can't drive a nail with a stick shift.

- Are those the tools of logic, Colonel?
- In some circles, yes, they are.

- I should never have listened to you.
- Why did you listen to him?

Because I'm sick of running.

But no matter how sick I am,
I'm damned for all time...

if I let a man who stands with me...

pull one of those things
on another human being.

Pastor, we told you,
we will not harm your enemies.

What we keep in our van is our business.
It doesn't mean they're going to be used.

Now if you say we can't keep these...

that's the same as me saying
you have to change your life...

because of what I believe in.

We're here to build you a meeting house.

The g*ns stay in the van.

- Thank you for your understanding.
- Glad you feel that way.

I may need some of yours.

Man, looks like that truck
is going to need some serious repairs.

I hear you, big guy. I hear you
more and more. And I like what I hear.

I just want to take...

Nuts.

Brothers.

I hear you, brother.

Are you trying to steal this truck?

Then you must be my helper.

Then come on down and help.
I ain't paying you to fool around.

Hand me a pair of pliers.

Pliers.

Hand me that screwdriver.

Screwdriver.

We're going to do just fine.

Hey, B.A.

Just act natural, guys.
Nobody will know you're here.

Next thing you know,
I'll be showing you the town.

- Who's your friend?
- He's a little roughneck I picked up.

Promised if I gave him a ride this far,
he wouldn't tear us apart.

Keep an eye on him.
Okay, Face, let's make this supply run.

I want you back before dark.
We may have some violent visitors.

We shall dance them
into submission, Colonel.

Well, Paris doesn't have to worry...

about losing the tourist dollar
to dear old Kellysburg.

But sometimes there's a lot to be said
for the quiet life.

Yeah, and none of it good.

B.A., the lumber should be out back.

You the owner here?

- Sinclair?
- Yeah. Help you?

Fishbeck, Josh.
Bureau of Weights and Measures.

Metric Investigation Unit.

We've had several complaints
about your place here.

Looking pretty ugly for you.

- Complaints? What for?
- Substandard supplies.

Miscut lumber. Price gouging.
You're running on bald tires here, pal.

- I think you better get out.
- Happy to.

But I'll just come back
with a United States Marshall.

We love guys like you.
Ralph eats them for breakfast.

- Ralph?
- Nader.

You're his kind of guy.
Crooked and proud of it.

He'd chew you up
and blow a bubble with you.

Where do you keep your lumber?

- Out back, but...
- Thought so. Lumber's always out back.

We've got a guy out there with a truck.

He's been told to impound all two-by-fours
that don't meet 1980 specifications.

Impound? You can't just...

How about your framing nails?
I need to look at them, too.

We've been told the heads are uneven.

Bad scene, Sinclair.

Come on, where are the framing nails?

Appreciate it.

Ralph comes through with a taskforce,
I'll see you get a necktie or something.

Pleasure was mine.

You stay out of my business, Traynor.

Don't let him scare you. Remember,
you're on the side of the people.

Evans, make sure all 4-inch nails
are 4 inches.

Not Sinclair's idea of 4 inches.

Three-and-thirty-one-thirty-seconds
of an inch doesn't make it.

We keep our eye on the details.

This is an outrage, sir.
An outrage.

I'd hate to be in your dingy apron.

You can't just come in here
and wipe out my inventory.

We can do anything we want.
We're government.

Excuse me.

It's an outrage.

What are you doing here?

Why don't you get back out
into your tent where you belong?

Why don't you get out of here?

What's the matter?
You too chicken to answer?

What's the matter,
you too scared to fight?

Got trouble with my man here?

Let's get out of here.

They don't like us 'cause we're different.

Maybe you're better, little brother.

They weren't government at all.
I know that truck.

It belongs to those peacenik freaks
that took over the Harding place.

Why don't you leave them alone?

You owe them that stuff
for everything you destroyed.

You listen to me, Traynor.

Sykes won't care if you're
the lay minister...

when he finds out you helped those guys.

You're going to pay heavy.

Sinclair said they just left.
We should be able to cut them off.

That old thing doesn't run too good.

We got some unfriendlies coming up ahead.

Yeah, It doesn't look like
a vegetable stand. Murdock.

Be ready to give us
a little gloss and glitter.

A man can wait his entire lifetime
for such a moment, visage-man.

What do you think they're waiting for?

Beats me. Inspiration, maybe.
But they're sure not coming down this road.

Grenade!

Nice job, Murdock.

Not the kind of job
you can prepare for, either.

It's the kind of job you gotta grow into.
Know what I mean, little buddies?

Everything all right?

Everything turned out fine,
even for the other guys.

Nice. And you got the stuff.

Face, supervise the unloading.

Just let me slip
into something more appropriate.

Bunch of folks from town
tried to set up a roadblock.

- And they weren't selling kisses.
- It was great!

Murdock fired a smoke b*mb
and B.A. drove right through them. Fast.

Part of our contingency plan.
Smoke b*mb was harmless.

But it drove the people away, unhurt,
while the truck went through.

Ollie. I told you to stay out of trouble.

How could you go with them
into town like that...

- when you know better?
- I didn't go with them.

That's right.
He didn't ride over with us, ma'am.

He was in town on his own.
We decided to bring him back to safety.

When you tell it, you got to tell it all, Ollie.

Colonel, this won't work.
You're bending the promise.

All we did was reclaim from the town...

what was yours
and what you had already paid for.

Karl, they did what they had to.
Nobody got hurt. He's right.

Now, they can build the meeting house
for us.

Isn't that what we all hoped for?

I'm not going to stay here and wait for
Sykes and his men to hurt the people I love.

The people I'm responsible for.
That's what comes next.

That's where I draw the line.
I think we've wasted your time and ours.

No matter where you go,
some narrow mind will find you.

- Unless you want to hide in the woods.
- But still living, Colonel.

Raising our children the right way.
It's how you live that's important, not where.

Kind of hard to keep the how
and the where that separate, isn't it?

Pastor, we like you people.

We'd like to see you live
the way you want to live.

We'd like to see it happen right here.

It can. But you have to hang in there.

I never equated the word "pacifist"
with the word "coward."

Let us try and help you make a new life.
Right here.

If we fail, nobody will argue
if you want to pack up and leave.

All right, Colonel.

One more time. But it can't happen again.

Come on, we're wasting time.
Let's build this meeting house.

Hey, man.

What are you doing?
You're going to mess up the nails.

My job was procuring them.
Not pounding them.

I'm a specialist, B.A.
Specialists are delicately tuned.

We're the sports cars of mankind.
We don't pound.

Besides, these aren't nails.
These are railroad spikes.

You'd need a crew of gorillas
to pound these.

See that? Nothing to it.
Just try a little confidence.

Confidence?

Murdock, give me a hand.

Get back in line.

These are the happy nuts, und these
are the sad nuts. Und that is a dead nut.

Und these are the nuts waiting in line
to find out what kind of nuts they are.

B.A., never interrupt
a group therapy session.

One slip could ruin a whole week's work.

I've seen successful patients
like this nut here...

go as flat as a newspaper
and start shaving the walls.

This is what you've been doing?
I knew you was hiding something...

and talking to things in your pockets again.

I'm warning you.
Get rid of those nuts and get to work.

B.A., I can help them.

I can bring them out of the shadows
und into the light.

Man, talk about living your life
with a shell around you.

I'm telling you, Murdock,
for the last time, get to work.

It was a good thing
that you were wearing your shell.

You might have got hurt.

Those guys are building
that meeting house again.

Get the guys. Let's go.

Ain't it time you quit making this town
look like it was living in the Middle Ages?

I'll settle with you later, Frank.

If I were you, I'd start thinking
about getting out of this place.

We're getting another minister.

It would be a shame if his first task
was seeing you leave this world.

I'd watch out for that plank,
it's a little...

weak.

Captain, didn't I tell you
to put a support under that plank?

I try and remember, Colonel.
But there's just a sort of blank spot there.

- This guy's something.
- Be careful.

You see, that's what comes when you build
too close to the road.

- Anything can crawl in.
- Who are you?

- Pretty snappy comeback.
- I asked you a question, boy.

Face, did he call me "boy"?

No doubt about it. This is definitely a force
to be reckoned with.

B.A., this is too long.

You can use that in a little while
to put a brace under that board...

so no people come in here.

The way I see it,
we can handle this one way or another.

We don't want freaks like these people
living here.

And if you were smart, you'd clear out, too,
all of you. Right now.

Or else we'll clear you out.

You start anytime you're ready.

We'll drop you off at the hospital
when we're finished...

if it will make it any easier for you.

I don't think he liked
what you had to say, Colonel.

Some people would complain
if you hang them with a brand new rope.

They will be back to fight.

I don't know. Cowards love to talk
about what they'll never do.

But if they are,
we'll have something else for them.

As violent as them?

- We didn't do a thing.
- But you would have?

We didn't.

I'm ready for anything,
but I don't know about going to this service.

I feel like we're interfering.

We can't ignore the generosity of
the reverend who let them use the church.

Besides, I won't let these people go
without an escort, like it or not.

Right.

Okay. You guys got the sentry duty.

And I am loving it.

Ollie, you can get the hymnals out
of the back and take them inside.

Let me give you a hand here.

My mother wants me to do this
'cause I got in trouble.

I helped you get in trouble,
so it'll be okay if I help you carry them in.

Thanks a lot.

Put him in the bushes, and let's go.

Face?

- Face!
- Oh, God.

- You okay, kid?
- Yeah.

They got Ollie.

We better get back to the compound.

♪ In the spring, spring, spring ♪

♪ When the birdies sing ♪

♪ The nuts fall off the walls ♪

I was just singing a song.

Somebody kicked that tripwire we set.

Let's go!

Hold it!

We're not gonna have any more trouble
out of you people, are we?

You hurt that kid, you're going to buy
more trouble than you bargained for.

Thanks for the advice.
Now move it! Back to the meeting house.

All right, boys, you know what to do.

Take a good look at this, kid.
I don't want you to forget it.

Let's go, boys!

Come on, guys, let's go!

No!

- We'd better get out of here.
- Yeah, let's go.

Murdock, you got to get out of here!

Murdock!

B.A.!

B.A.!

B.A.?

I don't know, Hannibal. He took
a lot of smoke. He'll need some oxygen.

We tried to take them out,
but they snuck up on us.

They had Ollie. We couldn't do anything.
This kid saved us. Kid's a hero.

- We need a doctor.
- There's a clinic.

Let's go.

Come on, Face!

Lookie here. Must be an emergency.
Go check it out.

Go on. You guys go with them.

You ain't welcome here.

Hospital in next town might take you
if you pay them enough.

Get out of my way, sucker.

Only way you're gonna get in there
is walk over me.

Walking ain't what I had in mind.

What is going on out here?

This kid's been in a fire. He needs help.

Take him inside. Get him on O2. Stat.

I wouldn't help that brat if I was you, Doc.

You boys. You just go from bad to worse!

What are you going to do next?
Get off my property!

Your son's going to be fine.
He's a strong boy.

Thank God.

I'm sorry...

but your means are just not the means
we can live with.

As soon as Ollie is ready to travel,
we're all going to travel.

There's no further discussion
as far as I'm concerned.

So please, just leave us alone.

We got your meeting house
built for you, Karl.

I hope you don't get it kicked out
from under you.

Let's go, guys. This one didn't work out.

Real appreciative guy.

They took the kid to Doc Forrest.

We tried to stop them, Kale.
We just lost, that's all.

The way they just drove out,
maybe we didn't lose so bad?

- Does it look to you like it looks to me?
- Maybe. Maybe not.

Guess we won't get a rematch.

We'll do the next best thing.

Hannibal, look, I know we got fired.

And I know you can't lead a horse
to water and all that.

But are we just going to cut and run here?
I can't believe this.

We can't let the local talent in this town...

go around saying they whipped
the A-Team.

B.A., take a left up here.

Face, we were fired.

We don't work for them anymore.

We work for us.

We're going to go back there
and take Kale and his sleaze-balls...

and teach them a little A-Team religion.

Right flank.

Murdock, left flank.

Go, B.A.

All right. Let's get it done.

Look at this.
They're getting here just in time...

to find out how much
they don't want to be here.

What are you doing here again, today?

Is this the kind of thing
that makes you feel like a brave man?

I'll take this place down once and for all.
That's what I'm doing here, you freak.

You've been around here too long.

Eric, stop it.

You meant to do me harm.

Drop the sparklers, Sykes.

You're not going to touch
1 inch of this lumber.

What gives you the right?

Now, the A-Team put this up,
and we're going to defend it.

You're not going to touch it,
except over my dead body.

And you are a long, long sh*t from that, pal.

Hold your fire! He's got a woman.

Let's get out of here!

All right, you're a tough guy,
take your best sh*t.

Not bad.

Next one's right between the horns, fellas.

If anyone needs
medical attention...

I'm sure Dr. Forrest in town
will help you out.

State police have been called.
They should be here right away.

Just don't let these crumb-balls loose
until they get here.

- We didn't expect you to come back.
- You don't understand us.

You can build your meeting house now.
You don't need our help.

Here? After this?

Why not?

Sykes and his buddies
will be in jail for a long time.

- You're safe and you've earned it.
- Earned it?

With all the anger, and destruction,
and injury around us?

Not even you can believe
we earned it with that.

- Are you expecting me to thank you?
- No.

No. Even though you're one of the most...

narrow-minded men I've ever met
in your own way...

I admire you for one thing, Karl.

You don't change your tune when you win.

Most people do.

Did it ever occur to you...

where people like you would be
without people like us?

Have a safe trip, Colonel.

Hannibal, I hate waiting around
to watch the end.

These cops can make a U-turn and get us.
We should be out of the state by now.

I'm sorry, Face,
I just had to put the period to this one.

That guy Karl, he's funny.

Hannibal, I don't understand this guy.

Lets people walk all over him.
He won't even fight back.

He is kind of hard to figure.

But then again,
there are lots of ways to look at everything.

Great. Hannibal's on the couch.

Now we're going to get
one of his lessons in psychology.

I could use one of those.
I get lost sometimes.

Go ahead, Colonel.
Speak to Murdock, please.

Explain the meaning of the world
to a troubled traveler.

Well, for 5,000 years,
men have been fighting each other.

Can we get out of here?
I'm getting kind of hungry.

I know a great fast food place
just across the border.

We are the soldiers.

It falls to us to protect the rights of others.

A guy like Karl can be hard to understand.

But it's good that we can do what we do...

to protect his freedom
to do what he feels is best.

There is some
really heavy stuff there, Colonel.

That's some
really meaningful insights there.

I am getting some really
meaningful insights. I really am.

It'll take an hour to get there.
I know the guy who works in the kitchen...

It's just society's electricity, guys.
The freedom to think.

People's thoughts are the most elusive
and the most valuable.

And the soldiers pay the price to protect it.

That is beautiful.

I see things more clearly now.

Am I the only one who's hungry here?

- B.A., aren't you hungry?
- No. I've been eating Murdock's pecans.

Colonel, I have learned
an important lesson today. I have.

I have learned that, as a soldier,
it is my duty to protect others...

from mean, mangy brutes
who seek to swallow them.

Now give me back... Give me those nuts!