04x19 - Love Makes the World Go 'Round...or Is It Money?

[bunniefuu]

Rejected? I don't believe this.

What do you mean? Sorry, Mr.

delpino.

We cannot presently issue you a credit card.

Why not? You have no credit history.

How do I get credit history without a credit card? Well, I'm afraid that's one of life's cruel catch-22s that eventually we all overcome.

I'm sorry.

May I help you? Finally.

Just relax.

Look I've been a loyal customer of this so-called lending institution for four years.

I didn't check your qualifications before I gave you my money.

Please.

Try and see our position.

You're a student.

Your employment record is sporadic.

You own no property, and your checking account balance has never exceeded $152.

If I had more money, I wouldn't need a credit card, would I? Well, you're free to reapply at any time.

Can I borrow your pen? Come on, pal! Your request is denied, period.

I have other customers.

Good day.

That's it.

If you don't want my business, I'll just take it elsewhere.

But when your boss finds out you've lost a loyal customer, there'll be hell to pay, Mr.

dickson! Well, I'm afraid the first bank of brentwood will just have to manage without your $20.

17.

"I'm sorry, Mr.

delpino, you have no credit history.

" Big bank for the little guy, my butt.

"I'm sorry.

Just one of life's cruel catch-22s.

" I'll take my 20 bucks elsewhere.

You can keep the 17 cents.

Stupid machines.

"Your available balance is" $16,000.

17? I hate this! Lose something? You can keep it.

Hi.

I'm Dr.

howser, but you can call me doogie.

My name's Molly Harris, but you can call me Molly.

So What's the problem? I'm supposed to write a report on some stupid chemical reaction, but I'll flunk.

You'd think getting your appendix out would excuse you from homework, but no! Oh, this is a cool reaction.

Yeah, I'm on pins and needles.

No, no, no.

Let's see Nahco3 sodium hydrogen carbonate.

Hold on there.

Hmm.

Now, let's see Baking soda.

All right.

Hc2h3o2 Acetic acid.

Don't move.

The fun's just beginning.

The missing link to our success Vinegar! Here, put these on.

Now We'll leave a little bit of h2o in the bottom of this.

H2o.

You know what that is.

Water? Correct.

Then we add a splash of hc2h3o2.

Vinegar.

Vinegar or acetic acid, right.

And then we top it off with a touch of naco3.

S-sodium hydrogen carbonate.

The girl's amazing! The balloon, please.

Hold the bottom of that.

All right.

There.

And so we've created this jamming chemical reaction.

Molecules are separating.

They're bouncing into each other and combining to form other things.

Science is really happening right here! And we're creating co2 Carbon dioxide! I get it! Aah! What was that? Oh, nothing.

I think I heard it, too.

I thought it came from next door.

Maybe somebody's appendix burst.

What I'm about to show you is going to change your entire view of Karma.

The average Joes of this world aren't always the losers in the timeless struggle of the individual against impersonal institutions.

Hooray.

Let's have a parade.

$16,000? Yes! It's mine, doog.

Doog, it's all mine! Now I don't need a stinking credit card! I'm rich! I'm rich! Too loud.

Vin, it's a computer error.

And they've probably already caught it by now, and you're as broke as you were before.

Your death grip on reality could spoil anyone's fun.

Doogie.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Molly.

Molly, meet my friend Vinnie.

How you doing? Off to surgery.

Catch you later.

I'm off, too.

Nice meeting you.

So are you a doctor, too? No.

I just look smart.

Could I ask you what makes you like a girl? What are you asking me for? I just thought, since you're so cute, there must be lots of girls after you.

How very astute.

Ah, the first stirrings of romantic curiosity in a young girl's heart.

When I first asked these questions, I was 13, and strange and wonderful things were happening in my body.

Could you just answer my question? Yeah, right.

What makes me like a girl? I like a girl who feeds me.

Anything else? Yeah.

Flattery.

Nothing softens me like a nice compliment on my thick, wavy hair.

But most of all, she's got to be a good kisser.

How do you learn to be a good kisser? Just between us I used to practice in the mirror.

By yourself? Yeah.

Trust me.

You got to see how you look up close.

You know.

Look, come here.

What you got to learn is, you keep your head tilted back so your noses don't bump into each other, but not too much, 'cause then you look stupid.

O.

K.

Now, you got to keep your upper eye closed, but your lower eye's open so you can Gauge distance.

See? Wait a minute.

There you go.

Right? And then just dive in.

Mmm Mmm.

Whatever he's telling you Disregard.

Hello! Uh Yes.

Can I help you, dear? Yes, I believe you can.

Could you tell me my balance, please? Certainly.

There you go.

$16,000.

17.

That's a lot for a man your age.

That's my bar mitzvah money.

My, that's a lovely corsage you're wearing "Irma.

" Thanks.

It's from my husband mervin.

I'm retiring today.

You you're severing all ties to this institution as of today? Over 20 years.

All I'll have left is my memories.

Well, let's make your last memory a big one, shall we? All right.

Do you have a withdrawal slip handy? Here you are.

O.

K $16,000 And 17 cents.

That closes out your account.

Well, Irma If you're leaving, I'm leaving.

You've done a lovely job counting, Irma.

You have a truly, truly, truly grand retirement.

Thank you, dear.

Bye-bye, now.

Bye-bye.

- Sir.

- What? You dropped this.

Thank you.

Thanks for dinner, vin.

How much was it? Forget about it.

It's on me.

All breasts! To what do I owe this outburst of generosity? Can't buy a friend dinner without this hoo-ha? What is wrong with you tonight? It's nothing.

I'm just a little stressed out About school.

Really? Why? What's with all the questions? Our friendship is built on a certain mutual distance.

Try and respect my space, please.

Fine.

Let's just eat.

Fine.

I'm John Walsh, and this is America's most wanted.

No, I can't watch this.

I love I love this show.

Our first case tonight involves a crime so heinous, so shocking, we almost couldn't air it.

We begin in Southern California.

19-year-old Vincent "the slug" delpino, alias Vinnie dorito, alias Vance Davenport, alias herb sapstein, walked into the first bank of brentwood and, claiming it was his bar mitzvah money, brazenly ripped off $16,000.

Watch closely as never-before-seen footage captures his crime.

We spoke to witnesses at the scene.

He was such a sweet boy.

I trusted him.

I can't believe he took all that money.

Now I have to pay every cent back.

We also spoke to some people close to delpino.

He's like a son.

Who would have thought? Are you kidding? It's no surprise to me.

I knew he'd eventually run from the law.

Hunt him down like the dog he is.

Vinnie, if you're out there, please turn yourself in before something terrible happens.

It doesn't matter that the world hates you.

I know that really deep down, there's a tiny part of you that's not so slimy Sort of.

I know this is difficult, miss Stewart.

Maybe we can talk about it over dinner.

Oh.

I've been there, man.

A life of crime is a dead end.

It's a living hell.

Have you seen this man? We believe that, owing to intense, deep-seated feelings of guilt, delpino may now look something like this Remember, Vincent, you can run, but you can't hide.

O.

K! O.

K.

! I confess! I did it! I took the money.

Oh, my god! Uh Uh How much is that? All of it.

All 16 grand.

Everything Less what I paid for the chicken.

What am I going to do? First thing Monday morning, you're giving the bank back that money.

O.

K.

But what do I do in the meantime? I can't walk around like this all weekend.

You're right.

Aah! Hey.

Don't you look nice.

Thanks.

You wanted to see me? Yeah.

Surprise! Wow.

What's the occasion? To thank you for helping me.

I got a "b" on my science report.

A "b"? Oh, congratulations! That's great.

Here.

Sit down.

Wow.

Shall we? I got extra cheese.

Mm-hmm.

To a "b" in science.

Hello! Hi.

Hello! Hi, mol.

How you feeling? Fine.

I'm Dr.

howser.

Um, doogie.

I'm Rebecca Molly's sister.

Molly, you didn't tell me you had a sister.

It slipped my mind.

Would you like to join us? Sure.

We're celebrating Molly's "b" on her science report.

Great.

Here.

Let me, uh Aw, don't worry.

The goo's the best part.

Hope you don't mind my fingers.

No, I don't mind.

I really like your hair, doogie.

Uh Thanks Molly.

I like yours, too.

Yeah.

Really looks cute.

I thought you said that robe is too girlie.

I never said that.

See you go to pepperdine.

Yeah.

I'm a sophomore.

Great school On the beach.

If only tanning could be her major.

Oh, this pizza's great.

Really is.

Thanks for getting this.

I live at the beach myself.

In venice.

I go biking there all the time.

I love venice.

So that's two things we have in common Venice and pizza.

Glad you're both happy! Why don't I just leave the two of you alone? This was my fault, wasn't it? No.

No, I think it was mine.

Problem, Dr.

howser? Ahh, I'm an idiot, curly.

I should've known she had this crush on me.

Guess I'll just have to go in there and Let her down easy.

Do you have to? She's 12 years old.

What else can I do? I just keep thinking about Bobby Quinn.

Who? Bobby Quinn.

When I was 11, he worked at the shoe mart.

He was 18.

I had this major crush on him.

I went in every day to try on shoes just so he'd hold my feet.

Anyway, one day he says, "kid, I know you like me", "but I'm too old for you.

"If you're not buying anything, "maybe you shouldn't come back.

" I was devastated.

You were 11.

He wasn't going to date you.

It's just that you're a kid trying to become a woman.

You're feeling so awkward.

If he just would've noticed me.

I found this spot my first year of residency.

I was 14.

I'd come up here when things got crazy.

Kind of became my secret hiding place.

On a clear night, you can almost see the lights on Catalina.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Where's Rebecca? I don't know.

Better get back.

She'll probably leave.

She's very popular, you know.

I don't care.

I'd rather be up here with you.

You're the first person I ever brought up here.

Howser, party of two.

Howser, party of two.

Mademoiselle.

There.

Now Where were we? Doogie, is this really your secret hideout? Yeah.

And now it's ours.

Just you And me And all these stars.

We don't make mistakes like that.

Oh, you don't? What do you call this? I think Mr.

delpino deserves compensation for his honesty.

Compensation? Withdrawing this cash constitutes a felony.

We'd be in line to prosecute.

I think a judge would favor our case.

Mr.

delpino returned the money before anyone knew it was gone.

That's right.

Meanwhile, your depositors would hear how you deposited their funds into the wrong account.

Just one of life's cruel catch-22s that I'm sure you'll overcome.

Have a nice day.

Mr.

delpino.

What kind of compensation are we talking about here? Oh, I think the credit card.

Mr.

delpino originally applied for would be fine.

With a 1,000-dollar credit limit.

Been a pleasure doing business with you, Mr.

dickson.

You're a prince among bankers.