02x15 - I'm Dreaming of a Slight Christmas

[bunniefuu]

- [ Rings]
- Hello?

Well, there it is, Emily.
The best of the lot.

Matter of fact,
the best of three lots.

Bob! I know it's the day before Christmas
and there wasn't a lotto choose from...

but isn't that
really small?

Well, Emily, that's the kind of Christmas
we decided on- real and small.

I mean, this scrawny,
little tree cost me bucks.

Couldn't you have spent
and gotten a big, scrawny one?

It was .
I got him down to .

Bob, how could you barter
this time of year?

- That's what the guy at the lot said.
- [ Knocking]

Fa, la, la, la, la, everybody!

Merry Christmas.
I, uh, got you your gift.

Oh, thank you, Howard.
That's so sweet.

Yeah, you could put it
under your tree when you get it.

We, uh-
We got it, Howard.

Ah! There it is.

Yeah, it was nice of you
to give a tree like that a home.

Well, w-we're scaling
everything down this year.

You know, a little Christmas tree,
quiet Christmas Eve, a few gifts.

That's really great, Bob. I mean,
cutting down on your gifts, that's-

You don't have to give me anything
just because I gave you something.

Oh, Howard,
don't be silly.

- Merry Christmas, dear.
- Thank you. Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Howard, aren't-
aren't you gonna open it?

I'd rather wait. I, uh,
have a hard time hiding my feelings.

I mean, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't
want you to know. And, uh-

lfl liked it, I might get all misty and
embarrass myself. I wouldn't wanna do that either.

I think I'll wait till I get
to Copenhagen and open it then.

Nobody knows me there.

What, uh- What time does
your flight leave, Howard?

Uh, : .
I'm on the polar route.

- Howard, want some pancakes?
- Uh, no, thank you.

Uh, maybe I will have-
have a few.

Oh. Okay.

Here you go.

Say when.

When.

- I guess I'd better make another batch.
- No, that's plenty for me.

No, I meant for us, Howard.

- Not for me, Emily. I have to get going.
- Oh.

Bob, are you going to work?
It's, uh- It's past noon.

Yeah, I only have one appointment today.
Then I'm coming home...

- and spending Christmas Eve alone with Emily.
- Ah, all alone.

Gee, that's too bad. I-l wish
I could spend it with you.

[Laughs] I don't think
you understand, Howard.

We wanna be alone.
I mean, Bob and I are gonna...

turn down the lights
and cuddle up and-

I understand.

Honey, dinner'll
be ready at : .

And don't forget
the gifts for the office.

- Oh, yeah. I'll be home.
- Don't you have an office party?

Yeah, we do, Howard, but I'm
not gonna stay long this year.

I never had an office party.
I never had an office.

Just a cockpit.
What's an office party like?

Well, around :
it usually starts.

And then Carol says
what a great guy I am.

Then about : , somebody
spikes the watercooler.

About : ,
Carol tells me off.

Then sometime
between : and :OO...

somebody asks for some
free psychological advice.

Then around : , all the ear, nose
and throat men on the sixth floor...

come down and challenge us
to an ice hockey game on the roof.

Then at : , Tupperman
starts reciting the Hippocratic oath...

whilejerry hums “AII I Want For Christmas
ls My Two Front Teeth“ in the background.

We're getting
crazier and crazier every year.

Honey, what time do you
thinkyou'll be home?

Oh, I'll be home early, Emily.just as soon
as I build a snowman in the elevator.

- Bob, merry Christmas!
- Yeah, and happy New Year.

How's the weather outside?

Uh, brisk.

- You know what they oughta call this town?
- What?

“The Windy City.“

Oh, Bob, did I ever tell you
what a wonderful person you are.

It must be : .

It's exactly : .

Carol, what kind
of coffee is this?

Irish.

Is it all right to drink
from the watercooler?

Sure, if you like martinis.

I'll see you guys later.
I've gotta get back to the salt mines.

Bye, Bern.

Oh, Carol,
merry Christmas.

Wow, a bun warmer.

- Yeah, I- I hope you can use it.
- / , {sure can.

- Listen, is that one for me too?
- No, that's forjerry.

- I drew his name out of the pool.
- / .

- Hi, Carol. Hi, Bob.
- HLJerry.

Jerry, here's a Christmas present.
I drew your name in the pool.

Oh, terrific. Wow.
Ski mittens and goggles!

Terrific.
I can really use these.

- Ah. Excuse me, Carol.
- Oh, surely.

I drew your name too.

- It's really, uh, heavy.
- Yeah. Open it up, Bob.

Just a little something
for your office.

Here, Carol.

Jerry, I- I thought we were
just getting, you know...

small, impersonal gifts,
not something for the office.

Oh, Bob, it's not the gift. It's the thought
behind the gift that counts.

And I really
think a lot of you, Bob.

Oh, Mr. Peterson, hi.

Hi, Carol.
Dr. Hartley.

- Santa.
- Ho, ho, ho.

Mr. Peterson, go in the office.
I'll be right in.

You want me to help you
carry that stereo into the office?

No,jerry. I think-
I thinkl can... manage.

- Okay.
- Listen, about your gift-

I really love these mittens.
They're terrific.

And the goggles, I even love them better.
I mean, they'rejust what-

Tetzi, did you see what Bob gave me?
Mittens and goggles!

Aren't they terrific?

Uh, thanks- thanks
for the stereoJerry.

That's a really nice piece
of equipment, Dr. Hartley.

Yeah, I have to
get it hooked up.

Why don't you
let me do it for you?

I was a demolitions expert
in the marines.

No, I want it hooked up,
not blown up.

Ah!
[Laughs]

That was a good one,
Dr. Hartley.

Well, you're-you're certainly in
a good mood this Christmas, Mr. Peterson.

Yeah. Doris and I are actually
looking forward to Christmas this year.

Well, that's a remarkable
adjustment for you.

I remember when you first came here, you
weren't looking forward to Christmas or Doris...

or much of anything else.

That's right.
I was just a mass of fears.

I was afraid of my wife.
I was afraid of growing old.

I was afraid of geese.

If I remember correctly,
you were afraid to get in your car.

Well, that was during that period
when I was afraid of upholstery.

But, uh"...

all those fears
seem so silly now.

Yeah, well, I'm glad you
feel that way, Mr. Peterson...

because I'd like to
give you my gift.

My gift is you don't have to
come here anymore.

Y-You're free go out and face
your own problems without me.

What do you think,
Mr. Peterson?

Are you out of your mind?
I mean, look at me!

Do I look like I'm ready
to go out there without help?

Well, it-it's natural
to feel that way...

but I think after a few days, if you think
about it, you'll be very proud...

and you'll realize that
I've taken you as far as you could go.

Trust me, Mr. Peterson.
I'm really very confident about this.

- Y-You mean the session is over?
- Well, there is no session.

- You don't need one.
- What am I gonna do for the next hour?

- Well, you could go Christmas shopping.
- Okay.

I guess that's
what I'll do then.

And, in the future, ifany problems
come up, feel free to stop by.

Just think of this as
a sort of , -mile checkup.

- Hi, Bob.
- What's, uh- What's going omjerry?

Stevie Seldin'sjust
hanging up the mistletoe.

How about a little kiss?

Okay.

Well, uh, thanks for
everything, Dr. Hartley.

And say good-bye
to the group for me.

Same time next week,
Mr. Peterson?

Oh. I guess you didn't
hear the good news, Carol.

Dr. Hartley says I don't
have to come here anymore.

Oh, Mr. Peterson, how nice!

I bet you're so thrilled.

Yeah, I am.
I'm as happy as a clam.

Okay, brush up and down, and try to stay away
from candy over the holidays.

Okay, I will.

Merry Christmas, Emily.

Oh, merry Christmas, Bob.

Oh, honey, it's perfect.
The place looks terrific.

I just can't believe it. I mean,
we're finally gonna spend a Christmas Eve alone.

Did you have
trouble getting away?

No. I just snuck down the stairs
during the elevator races.

- [ Laughs]
- How's the, uh- How's the goose?

Oh, you wanna come in the kitchen
and take a gander?

You want a drink
before dinner?

That would be great. You know
what I'd love on a night like tonight?

I would love
hot buttered rum.

Oh, honey,
I'm sorry.

We don't have any butter,
and I'm all out of rum.

Oh, that's all right.
I'll have a glass of...

hot margarine.

- [ Phone Ringing]
- I'll get it.

Hello?
Carol?

Carol, I-
I can hardly hearyou.

Yeah, th-there's an echo.

You have a wastepaper basket
over your head.

And a melody in your heart.
[Chuckles]

Uh, Carol, can you give me any further
party bulletins on next Wednesday?

I'm just about to
celebrate Christmas Eve.

Well, then- then
what are you calling about?

Carol, how many cups of coffee
have you had? Yeah.

Mr. Peterson left. I put him
in the elevator myself.

Oh. Oh, Mr. Peterson,
I thought you had left.

Look, uh, Mr. Peterson,
it's Christmas Eve.

L-I really thinkyou oughta get
in your car and drive home.

No, I'm positive, Mr. Peterson.
There are no geese in your car.

I'll be, uh-
I'll be right down.

Emily, I'm- I'm sorry.
I really sorry.

I feel terrible
about this, but I-

I have to go down to the office, and I'll-
Well, I'll be back as soon as I can.

It's all right, Bob. I understand.
You have a patient who's in trouble.

He's gotta come first.
Why wouldn't I understand?

Well, I'm just
not sure you understand.

Oh, Bob, I understood last Christmas
when this happened to us.

And two years ago on our anniversary
when this happened to us.

And on my birthday
two years ago, I understood.

And the birthday
before that I understood.

Well, I just sense
a certain hostility.

What makes you say that?

Well, because the veins in your neck
are standing out and your fists are clenched.

Well, I wouldn't call it hostility.
I mean, I'm-

I'm disappointed, I'm upset,
I'm frustrated, and I'm hungry!

Well, with all that,
you don't need hostility.

Well, I'll try to
be back about : .

Bob...

here's a little incentive.

Maybe I'll... hang around
forawhile.

Go.

Hey, Bob, did you
bring any ice back with you?

Just scrape some
off my coatjerry.

How's the visibility
out there?

Well, it's hard to tell.
You can't see anything.

It's snowing like mad,
and lights are dimming all over town.

Ah, that'll give us
a great excuse to stay in longer.

Oh, Bob, I'm so glad
to see you.

- Is, uh, Mr. Peterson all right?
- Yes, I've been giving him lots of coffee.

- Oh, no, Carol.
- Cofiee coffee, Bob.

Oh, good, Carol.
Bring me some coffee coffee.

Fine fine.

- A-Are you all right, Mr. Peterson?
- [Shouting] Oh, Dr. Hartley!

I'm really glad
you came back!

Uh, what happened? Why are
you here, Mr. Peterson?

Because I belong here,
Dr. Hartley.

Well, what, uh-

What happened to the talk
we had this afternoon?

Well, I thought
about that, Dr. Hartley.

Now, you know I've been
down the Colorado River on a raft.

And I've hunted wild boar
in darkest Africa.

But the thought of-
of being out there alone...

without you to help me
with my problems-

Well, it-
it just terrifies me.

I mean, you just sent me out there into
that horde of last-minute Christmas shoppers...

and as I was standing in the gift wrap line
in Newdell's Department Store...

I got a terrible
anxiety att*ck.

Well, Christmas will be over soon,
a-and the crowds will be gone.

Yeah, but then I'll be in the crowd
at the return window.

I know Doris will hate
the present I got her.

- Well, what- What did you get her?
- Well, I didn't know her size...

so I got her
a stretch dress.

It certainly sounds
like a nice... fit.

I don't know if it'll stretch that far.
It comes in a little egg.

Dr, Hartley, I'm not
ready to go it alone.

- Please don't make me leave.
- Well, I can't make you leave.

L- I thought you were
ready to leave, but, uh...

apparently you don't,
and if you don't, then you aren't.

- You mean, I'm really not well-adjusted?
- I guess not.

Then I'm not normal after all?

Dr. Hartley, you've made me
the happiest man in the world.

Mn Peterson]
Hit the deck!

[Bob] It's all right,
It's all right, Mr. Peterson.

It's- It's just a power failure,
All right, now relax.

The lights'll be on
any minute.

Do- Do you read me,
Mr. Peterson?

Carol, what happened
to Mr. Peterson?

I'm right here, Dr. Hartley.

Oh, Mr. Peterson,
what's the matter?

- Areyou all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Ah!
- Now, don't worry about a thing.

There's an emergency
generator downstairs.

The only thing it's hooked up to
is the air-conditioning.

- So either way, we're gonna freeze.
- Don't worry.

We'll plug in
my bun warmer.

Boy, am I late. lfl don't get home soon,
Doris'll really be in a snit.

I can identify with that.
Look, it- it's only-

It's only : . lfwe hurry, we'll be home
by : . I'll- I'll driveyou home.

[Crowd Gasps]

There's no sense in waiting
for the elevator, Bob.

It's- It's dead.
It's laying in the basement.

And there's no sense
in trying to get home either.

We're stuck. Boy, we got
ourselves some blizzard.

Okay, okay. Looks like we're
gonna be here for a while.

We might as well make the best of it.
To help you make the best of it...

the seventh floor of the Rimpau
Medical Arts Building takes pride and pleasure...

in presenting the harmonious
holiday song stylings of...

thejerry Robinson trio.

♪♪ [ Caroling]

[Bob] I get the feeling
we're on the fitanic.

g,' [ Stereo: "The Twelve Days of Christmas ” ]

♪♪ [ Continues]

♪♪ [ Stops]

[Ringing]

Bob? Bob,
are you all right?

- Yes, Emily, I'm all right.
- I mean, I'm waiting here...

not knowing whether to be mad
or worried about you.

Well, I'm-
I'm all right, Emily.

Oh, good.
Then I'm mad.

Well, Emily.
I couldn't help it.

L-I've been trying to reach you
for over an hour, but I couldn't get through.

I mean, the whole city's
tied up in knots.

Th-There's been
a power failure.

How's, uh-
How's everything there?

Oh, perfect.
I mean,just perfect.

Instead of sitting here with
my husband on Christmas Eve...

I'm sitting here
with a dried-out goose.

I keep putting it in the oven and taking it
out of the oven, putting it in, taking it out.

I mean, it's been in and out so many times,
Bob, it's shrinking.

If-If you don't get home soon,
it's gonna be a hummingbird.

Emily, I'm- I'm cold, a-and I'm starved,
and I'll be home as soon as I can.

I still have
my hat on, Emily.

Oh, honey.
I wish you were here.

Well, I do too. But at least we can
talk to each other on the phone.

- At least the phone lines haven't- haven't- Emily?
- [ Crackles]

_ Bob?
_ Emily?

_ ' Bob?
Emily? Emily?

Bob! Bob.

Okay, sweetheart,
let's go.

Emily, I'm home.

Oh, Bob.

Bob.

Bob-

You're frozen stiff.
Where have you been?

Outdoors, mainly.

Well, what happened
to your hat?

It blew off.

I think it broke-
broke a plate glass window.

Honey, l-let me get your coat off
and then you can...

sit down and tell me
what happened.

Well, I used a-

I used a candle
to get a flashlight.

Then I used the flashlight
to get downstairs to my car.

Then I used my car
to get stuck in the snow.

Then I used Mr. Peterson
to push the car.

Then I pushed Mr. Peterson
into a cab...

in the middle of the worst snowstorm
in the city's history...

and told him there was
nothing to be afraid of.

Even I didn't believe that.

And by that time,
my battery was dead...

so I walked back
three blocks to the office...

and I borrowedjerrys
jumper cables...

and then walked back
to where the car used to be...

but now there was just a snowdrift
with a ticket in it.

And then I-
then I finally got in a cab...

and he took me home.

And his home is only
four miles from here.

Oh, Bob, don't tell me you walked
four miles in a blizzard!

Oh, honey. Why don't you just
curl up in front of that candle...

and I'll make us
a pot of hot tea.

No, I have-
I have a better idea.

I'm gonna take a-
a hot shower...

and put on my robe
and then-

then I'll feel better.

And then we'll, uh-
We'll open our gifts and we'll-

We'll celebrate Christmas Eve
better late than never.

- [Knocking]
- Oh, no.

Sounds like Howard's knock.
His flight must have been canceled.

Emily, I-l know this is Christmas Eve,
and you know I love Howard...

but I've gone through too much to share
this with- with anybody but you.

- [Knocking]
- All right, Bob...

but just do it
gently, huh?

- Merry Christmas, everybody!
- Oh, Howard, what a surprise.

- Yeah. I'm back. I brought some champagne
from the airplane. - Thank you, Howard.

Yeah, the closest I got to Copenhagen
was the north end of the runway.

Well, I'm, uh, home
for the holidays.

Howard,
before you sit down-

- sit down.
- Sure, Bob.

Howard,
we've been, uh-

- We've been friends for a long time, right?
- Yeah, we sure have, Bob.

And you've- you've always
been welcome in my house.

Bob, I mean,
you've been great.

Whenever I'm feeling
down or low or-

Even when I'm feeling up-
I mean, I can always come over here to talk.

You know,
tonight's no exception.

There's nothing I'd rather do then spend
what's left of Christmas Eve with my-

Well, with my two dearest friends,
Bob and Emily Hartley.

Uh, Howard-

But I just
can't do it tonight.

I have a guest, and she doesn't want to share
the evening with people she doesn't know.

And that's
all there is to it.

I hope you don't
take this personal, Bob...

but just thanks for
being so understanding.

I hope I wasn't too harsh.

Bob, let's open our presents.

I can't wait anymore.

Let's see.
Mine sounds like...

a beautiful hand-engraved Indian necklace
made of silver and turquoise.

You opened it.

Four times.

You still, uh-
still like it?

Oh, Bob-

Bob, I love it...

and I love you.

Well, I love you too.

Honey, uh-

Why don't I open
Howard's champagne now...

and you can open
your gift and, uh-

and we'll see
what happens, huh?

I, uh- I really- I really hope
you like what I got you.

Well, I'm sure I will, Emily.

Now, Bob, it's not clothes,
so don't get your hopes up.

I mean, 'cause it's
not a sweater.

And I know you've been hinting around
about that electric drill...

but it's not that either.

And, well, you know that chess set
you've been admiring?

Well, it's not that either.

And- And it's
not a briefcase.

Of course it couldn't be a briefcase-
the package isn't large enough.

And, uh, it-it's not
a tennis racket either.

Now, I'm really
sorry I got mad.

I mean, it's not your fault
you got stuck at the office, you know.

I mean, really,
the only important thing...

is that we're...

together.

Merry Christmas, Bob.

We'll get 'em next year.

[ Mews]