Oh, hi.
Hi, murphy.
So, my little
world traveler
How was merry old england?
Cold, wet, and full
of restaurants
With names like
"the sow's belly."
It's a pregnant woman's
nightmare
But at least my interview
With the prime minister
went great.
Hey there, murphy, welcome back.
What can I get you?
Oh, just a club soda
and another roll of tums.
My stomach's k*lling me.
Are you all right, murph?
You don't have
any color.
She's pushing herself too hard.
You keep flying
around like this
You're going to deliver that kid
On the baggage carousel
at dulles airport.
Why is everybody
overreacting?
It's just a little jet lag.
I'm going to get you
some vegetable soup.
Take my advice.
Eat it at home.
Jim:
oh, dear lord
Look what the cat
dragged in--
Jerry gold.
What is he doing here?
You know how I feel.
I'm asking him
to join us.
If anyone has a problem
They can leave.
Well, hi there, g*ng.
How's it going?
There they go,
ladies and gentlemen
The highest-paid mime troupe
on television.
Hi, jer. This is a surprise.
You're telling me.
After five weeks
of playing phone tag
I run into you here.
Wow! Let me look at you.
I know, I'm huge, aren't i?
I'll be honest,
brown.
I wasn't sure
how I would feel
About watching your body
go through this pregnancy
But I got to say
It's something
that's amazing and spiritual.
Jer, you really mean that?
No, but you outweigh me now
And I'm afraid of you.
Oh, I have some great news.
I'm going back on the air again.
Jerry, you got a show?
That's fantastic.
What is it?
Let's just call it
an alternative to meet the press
With yours truly as host.
I'm calling it cut the crap.
What can I say?
It's pure gold.
Here you go, murphy
Hot soup
and a little fresh bread.
There's
a brilliant idea.
Eating an antacid
Before you eat phil's food.
This could spread like wildfire.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Funny man.
Keep making jokes.
You might have
An unfortunate encounter
with some bad mayonnaise.
Accidents can happen.
Uh!
Are you okay?
You don't look good.
It's just some bug I picked up.
You should go to the doctor.
Phil, she can make
her own decisions.
You want to go
to the doctor?
I'm not one of these women
who run to the doctor
Every time she sneezes. Ow!
Take her
to the damn doctor.
Should I take you
to the damn doctor?
Take me to the damn doctor.
That was
a very quiet drive home.
I can't believe
you didn't say anything
When I let clarence thomas merge
in front of us.
Sorry. I guess
I wasn't paying attention.
Look, the doctor said
Everything's
probably going fine.
I wouldn't worry.
I'm not.
If they don't
want you to worry
They could come up
with a better name
Than "pre-term labor."
I agree, so we won't call it
pre-term labor.
We'll call it fred.
Right, and pre-term... Fred
Happens to a lot
of women over .
There you go.
Spending two weeks immobile
could be a vacation.
If I take the medication
and the contractions stop
There's no reason I can't
resume a normal schedule.
No reason at all.
Then why am I so scared?
Ah, home at last.
I thought they finally
caught you stealing
One of those little blankets
off the plane.
You remember jerry.
Yeah.
You're the one
Who's not the father.
Lovely to see you again too.
So, brown,
what about these pills?
The doctor said
You can take one
every hour if you have to.
Wait a minute.
You went to the doctor?
Our next appointment
wasn't until the th.
I'm going to tell you something.
Your first instinct may be
to get a little upset.
I want you
to fight that.
I have a condition.
It's called pre-term labor.
Oh, my god!
I knew something
Like this would happen.
We were too happy.
I was too relaxed.
You cannot have this baby now.
What are you
doing sitting?
Lie down.
Cross your legs.
Cross your legs!
I'm not ready.
I'm only up to
The sixth month
inhere comes baby.
We should be dealing
With leg cramps
and an itchy abdomen.
Delivery.
Oh, this is great.
You're having a kid;
he's having a cow.
I am not ready
For this baby yet.
The nursery's not finished.
You gave me nine months.
That's what you promised.
That's what
you promised.
Has a verbal agreement become
meaningless in this society?
Will you calm down?
I have no intention
of having this baby
Before I do the economic summit
next month.
I have to do something.
I'll get you some tea.
That will help you relax.
All right, I'll have
a cup of blackberry.
No, that's too wild,
too woodsy.
You'll have chamomile.
Okay, chamomile
with lemon.
No. Too acidic.
You'll have milk and honey.
I want sugar.
Oh, I think not.
Will you be all right
with this guy here?
Wouldn't you rather
check into hell?
I'll be fine.
I get to spend some quality time
with myself
Wondering whatever made me think
I could have a normal pregnancy.
You know, murphy
Why don't I stop in
a couple of times a day--
To see how you're doing?
Maybe bring you
something to eat?
You live a half an hour away.
Are you really going to want
To schlepp over here
twice a day?
Yeah, I guess
that's pretty stupid.
Although there is another way
around this.
I could just...
Stay here.
Stay here?
What does that mean,
stay here?
Move in.
Bring in a few things
And when you're back
on your feet, move out.
What do you think?
What do I think?
I think it sounds a lot
like living together
And my only experience
in that area was a marriage
That lasted only slightly longer
than woodstock.
I'm talking
about a temporary thing.
What if we drive
each other crazy?
Then we'll talk about it.
We are honest
with each other.
The problems with most people
who live together
Is they're not honest.
Not that we'd be living
together.
Right.
You want to give it a try?
There's too much talking
out here.
Her lips are moving
much too much.
And why are you sitting up?
Lie down.
Stay.
Oh, god
It's going to be
a long two weeks.
I guess I could use someone
to run interference for me.
Maybe we could give it a sh*t.
All right.
You're on.
I'll go pack.
But first,
just to prove
It will be nice
having another person around--
How about a shoulder rub?
Ooh, that sounds great.
Good,
but just not too hard.
I'm very sensitive
around my neck.
Jerry:
hi, honey, I'm home.
(Door closing)
What's all
that stuff?
I probably overpacked
But I didn't want
to keep running
Back to my place.
That makes sense.
I cleared out some drawers
for you.
One... And a half.
I can leave
all this in the car
And run out there to change
every morning
But I sleep naked.
Your neighbors frighten easily?
Okay, I'm just nervous
about this.
Even though it's only temporary
It's still a big step for us,
isn't it?
I went to put your key
on my key chain.
I couldn't do it.
I kept picturing
my parents' wedding photo
The one where my dad's eyes
are rolled up into his head.
(Doorbell rings)
I'll get it.
What are you doing?
I'm allowed to walk.
If painter man saw that
He'd come after me
with his spackle Kn*fe.
Sit down.
Let me do something
for you, okay?
Oh, I'm sorry.
We got rid of all of our
halloween candy months ago.
Aw, man,
what's he doing here?
I knew we should
have called first.
Now, everyone
Let's not forget
the important thing is
To make sure murphy and the baby
are all right.
Murphy! Are you
and the baby all right?
We're fine, corky.
Okay, now we can leave.
We'll be back
after he's gone.
When will that be?
Gee, didn't you get
our announcement?
I've moved in.
Liar!
Frank:
murph
Is this true?
We have a pact.
No moving in with someone
Until we've talked it over.
We never made
a pact like that.
We should have.
You could have stopped me
From the judy fiasco
of august ' .
I can't
believe this.
She won't have a dog
But she lets jerry gold
stay here.
Jerry:
nice hair, sherwood.
What's that show
you're on again?
Hullabaloo?
Everybody
to a neutral corner.
Now, first of all
Not that it's any
of your business
Jerry's only here
to help
Until I'm back
on my feet.
So, jerry, uh...
Do you find the couch
a comfortable place to sleep?
Oh, I'm sorry, jim.
The couch is not
the correct answer
But you played well.
We have lovely
parting gifts for you.
Will you stop it?
Why can't you get along
with my friends?
It shows a lack of respect
for how I feel.
What about my feelings?
Is that a consideration?
Ooh, the "you don't care
about my feelings" stage.
By this time tomorrow
he'll be gone.
Just another bug smashed
In the windshield
of murphy's life.
Shut up, frank.
I am not kicking him out.
This is how jerry
and I communicate.
Our relationship
is based on honesty.
We always say exactly
what we mean.
Murph, that is so sick.
Interesting comment
coming from a man
Whose most successful
relationship
Was with debbie,
the inflatable love doll.
Will you stop it!
What did I just say?
What did I do?
Don't give me that.
All I ask is that
you make a little effort.
Wait a second.
Would it k*ll you..?
(Arguing)
There's no point
in us watching.
Let's go.
I still think
it's sick.
You'd better take
good care of her
While you're here,
sleeping in the... Den?
You know, it's really sad.
Some people just can't stand
to see a happy couple.
Jerry?
No, it's just me
One of the throng
living here.
Whoa! Whatever happened,
it looks like you put up
A hell of a fight.
What difference
does it make
How I look?
I've been stuck in this house
for ten days with nothing to do.
I'm going out of my mind.
So he's late again, huh?
There's no "late," eldin.
Jerry doesn't punch a clock.
That's not the kind
of relationship
We have.
What time is it?
: .
You know,
I don't know about you
But I really wouldn't mind
getting our house back.
That man has
so many disgusting habits.
You know, when he tears
a paper towel off the roll
He completely disregards
the perforation.
Always leaves
a little piece hanging.
I find that
very annoying.
Does that annoy you?
I never even noticed.
If you want to have
A successful relationship
with someone
You can't be so set
in your ways.
Flexibility and compromise--
that's the key.
Jerry:
hi, kids.
I don't want
to panic anybody
But I heard on the radio
that north and south dakota
Have just been sold
to the japanese.
Actually, they only wanted
north dakota
But bush wouldn't break up
the set.
What do you think?
That's the opening
For my new show.
For the th time
When you load the dishwasher,
you rinse your plate.
It's common courtesy.
Jerry:
so, how are you
feeling today?
Any pain?
Any contractions?
Nope.
(Clanking)
That makes eight days
Without a contraction,
right?
Yep.
I had a great meeting
with my producer.
We went over the plans
for the new set.
So, how was your day?
Oh, wonderful.
It's so satisfying to know
that at the end of your day
You'll have
a pair of salad tongs
You can see your face in.
Something bothering you?
Me? No. Why do you ask?
I don't know.
If you polish
that silverware anymore
You're going to change
its molecular structure.
We said we were going
to be honest with each other.
What's bothering you?
All right, i...
I guess I'm just...
I'm annoyed
that you're late.
I'm late?
I wasn't aware that
I had to be here
At any assigned time.
I thought it was understood
you'd be here for dinner
So we could eat together.
There, I've said it. I'm done.
I didn't know
that's what you wanted.
See? That wasn't so bad.
And why?
Because we were honest
And honesty is
what it's all about.
I also hate sharing
my closet with you
Hate that grunting noise
you make
Every time
you get out of a chair
And hate how you rip
the paper towels.
Jeez, plunge that butter Kn*fe
in a little deeper.
I don't tell you everything.
What do you mean?
I'm getting tired
of seeing you in that outfit.
What is it, three days now?
And I miss that
special styling touch
You used to do
with your hair.
I think
it's called combing.
What's the point
If you're never around
to appreciate it?
Look, if you wanted me
to stay home tonight
Why didn't you say so?
If you stay home
just because I want you to
Then it doesn't count
that you stayed home.
Oh, god,
listen to that whiny voice.
I'm being needy again.
I hate that.
You know
what the real problem is?
There's no room for me here.
And I'm not talking
About the four inches
of closet space I've got
Or the fact that I have to shave
in the laundry sink.
There is no room for me
in your life.
You won't let anybody in.
What is so damn hard
About telling somebody
that you need them?
Even for a couple of weeks?
Because I hate being vulnerable,
all right?
I hate waiting
for someone to come home
And I hate that it matters
if you're late and don't call.
And I hate the fact
that tonight at :
I found myself thinking
I should call
And that made me
feel claustrophobic
So I didn't call
and that made me feel guilty
Which then made me feel...
Resentful.
Well...
This is just great.
You resent being here
and I resent having you here.
Yeah, I guess you can't get
any more honest
Than that, huh?
Frank:
we had eight
democratic candidates
On last night's show,
and we only got a seven share.
Do you realize what that means?
These guys can't even get
Their own families
to watch.
Doris told me halfway through
she switched to a pbs show
On the history
of paper.
Hi, everybody.
I'm back.
All:
hey, murphy.
It's so good to see you.
Murphy, I want you to come
right down to the table
And sit in this chair.
Can I get you tea
or something?
Corky, I told you
I don't need
any special treatment...
Well, a cup of tea
would be nice. Thanks.
Murph, I want you
to be straight with us.
Should you even be here?
I'm fine, frank.
The doctor told me
That I have to make
a few little adjustments
Until the baby's born.
Shorter work days,
more rest... No flying.
So I won't be able
to cover
The economic summit
next month, miles.
There's always a way
to work it out.
It's important
that you rest.
Dr. Barton said if I get tense
I should just put on
one of those relaxation tapes
And just kind of space out.
So, do you have a spare tape
of last night's show?
Oh!
This woman's fine.
(Elevator bell rings)
(Knocking)
Hi.
Hi.
Thought I'd stop in
And see how everything went
at the doctor's.
I got the all-clear
to be up and around again.
Only a little less up
And not quite as around
as before.
Good. That's good.
I wanted you
to know
That I packed up all my stuff
this morning.
Now that everything's okay.
Here's your key.
Oh.
Well... Thanks.
That was
The agreement, right?
Two weeks and out.
That's what we said.
It's not like we expected it
To turn into anything more,
right?
We tried something.
It didn't work out.
Klaus and sunny von bulow
didn't work out.
We were a disaster.
So...
Thanks for helping.
I guess
I'll see you around sometime.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about
calling it quits-- aren't you?
Jeez, brown, why does
everything have to be
So black and white
with you?
I was just talking
about slowing it down.
That's all.
Really?
Just how slow
were you thinking?
Very slow.
Economic recovery slow.
We go back
to dating
And once in a while,
if the roads are bad
Or if there's
a good late movie on
I spend the night.
And if we don't k*ll each other,
we work up to a weekend.
Maybe... If you can overcome
That chronic
paper towel-tearing problem.
I'll work on it
If you agree to burn
that disgusting bathrobe.
The shroud of turin
Is in better shape.
So what do you say?
It's a deal.
When do you want
to get together?
It looks like my schedule
is going to be a lot lighter.
That figures--
just when mine's heating up.
How about dinner
on monday?
I'm speaking
at american university.
What about tuesday?
No, tuesday I leave
for chicago.
Uh, thursday, the th?
Uh, no good.
What about tuesday,
the th?
Yeah, I'm clear.
All right,
three weeks from tomorrow.
Jeez...
Three weeks.
I know.
This is a great relationship,
isn't it?
It's perfect.