03x05 - Timber!

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The A-Team". Aired: January 23, 1983 – March 8, 1987.*
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Four former members of a fictitious United States Army Special Forces team were tried by court martial for a crime they had not committed.
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03x05 - Timber!

Post by bunniefuu »

What is going on here?

McEwan has blocked us from
getting our lumber to the mill.

Sounds like a bunch of cockroaches
that need to be stepped on.

Pine chigger.
Deadly to trees.

Check on union cards.

This is my union card.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm really
cut out for this kind of work.

Where's your courage, man?

It hasn't been spotted
in these parts since 1954.

The bigger they are,
the harder they fall.

[groaning]

Bigfoot country.

[screaming]

What you doing, fool?

Let's see if this thing runs.

[honking]

We're burning up, man.

(man) They're coming through.
Hold on.

(male narrator) In 1972,
a cr*ck commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a m*llitary court...

for a crime
they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security
stockade...

to the Los Angeles
underground.

Today, still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can help...

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire
the A-Team.

[g*n f*ring]

[inaudible]

Why don't you let me
drop you off, Samantha?

No way.
We're in this together, John.

Besides, I never back out
of a fight.

Okay. Never could talk
any sense to you anyway.

Besides, I gotta take care
of you.

Well, don't you worry
about me, little sister.

Nothing's gonna happen to me,
I promise you.

[birds chirping]

[truck approaching]

John, that's McEwan's truck.

I don't think we should stop.

It's our last chance to fill up.
Gotta get some gas.

(McEwan)
John Lawrence.

I thought I explained it
very nicely before.

This is a union gas station
now.

It wouldn't be right for a scab
to be using the pumps.

This station's open to the public,
McEwan, and I need a fill up.

Don't see why
you want to fill her up, John.

The only logging done around
here is done by union members.

You mean anyone who's willing
to pay you dues.

[exclaiming]

What a waste of fuel, huh?

[gasping]

Get away from him! Stop it.

What are you guys doing?

Stay out of this, old man.
It's not your fight.

[groaning] Real sorry you
had to see this, ma'am.

But these loggers
got a lot at stake...

and your brother just keeps
getting in the way.

You're gonna k*ll him.
Stop it!

[grunting]
That's enough.

You can't stop me, McEwan.

I'm real sorry
you feel that way, John.

Guess you're not gonna be
doing too much without a truck.

[panting]

Torch it.

[truck exploding]

"At this point,
the strength...

"of the enemy was...'

I'd like a paper, please.

You gave me too much change.
No, I didn't.

Yes, yes you did.

Yes, I did.

Well, honesty in the big city,
huh?

I just want a paper.

I'd like the one second up
from the bottom, please.

Second from the bottom?

[sighing]
Lady, they're all the same.

Well, perhaps, but I'd like the
one second from the bottom.

Now, today is Thursday,
the...

Twelfth.
The twelfth.

And it says right here,
Thursday, the twelfth.

The twelfth, yeah.

Now this paper is the same
as this paper...

or this paper...

or this paper, or this paper.
Trust me, lady.

Look.

Could I have the paper I asked for?
I'll give you $10 for it.

$10?

[groaning]

You must want that paper
pretty bad.

What's in it?

There's something in there for me.
I was told to get that paper.

Look I have to have
that paper, okay?

$15...
$15...

mm...
mm...

$17, $18.
That's all I have.

Please,
could I have that paper?

$18.

[groaning]
Well...

[grunting]

[sighing]

There you go, lady.
Thank you.

You must need to see us
pretty bad, huh?

So this Bull McEwan wants to organize
a union for all the loggers up there.

McEwan has got
everybody believing...

they can get twice as much money for
their lumber as they've been getting.

All they have to do is join the
union and give him all their dues.

And all they're gonna get for their money
is a lot of empty promises, right?

Well, anyone who stands up to him gets
beaten up and their equipment wrecked.

The police can't do anything
'cause...

there's never any witnesses
that'll testify.

McEwan has blocked us from getting
our lumber to the mill...

and if we can't haul our logs,
we'll be wiped out.

Sounds like a case of a bunch of
cockroaches that need to be stepped on.

Except no one's been able to
do the stepping.

Well, I happen to do
a little trading...

in international lumber
futures and...

since the bottom fell out
of the housing market...

some of these guys are only
getting five cents on the dollar.

Then there's no way for McEwan
to make good on his word.

Oh, if I was just a man. I would
haul off and cr*ck McEwan one...

right across the jaw.

I'm glad you're not a man...

I like you
just the way you are.

Will you help us?

Depends if you can pay
our fee.

If we can get McEwan off
our backs...

we have a good crop of timber
for this year.

We will get the money.
Then we will be there.

(Murdock)
Perkins, Normandy, 1944.

(Face) How long has this man
been talking like this?

Well, I don't know. We never
listen to what Murdock says.

He's been gibbering
for as long as I can remember.

Then why did I get the call
only just this morning?

I didn't know
someone called you.

Look,
to be perfectly honest...

we just don't pay any attention
to what Murdock says.

You don't pay attention?

Well, that seems to be obvious.
Because if you did pay attention...

you'd know this man is a major
thr*at to our national security.

We were ordered to take
the great ship Leningrad...

16 were k*lled...

but it wasn't my fault.
Kalyenko knew.

Two of his men were agents.

Look, I don't understand
this...

but you can't just take this patient
out of here without the proper--

The MI-5 chaps knew we were
gonna b*mb Haiphong harbor...

[shushing] but their
Secretary put the call in--

If you repeat anything
of what you've heard...

(Face) you'll be in violation
of the National Security Act.

What is going on here?

Nurse Meadows, what is that
patient doing in the hall?

Please, he's with
m*llitary Intelligence.

All right, I want both of you to
go about your business as usual...

as if everything's normal.
Sergeant Heidelberg.

(Murdock) The mission to
Berlin had to be aborted.

The Prime Minister
has the briefing papers--

If you repeat anything
that you have just heard...

you both will be tried and
convicted of sedition and treason.

When did you first enter
this country, Ms. Heidelberg?

I was born here.

You will be contacted, be prepared
to bring proof of citizenship.

Now, you will listen
very carefully.

You will both finish your
shift, clock out, and go home.

If in an hour you don't hear
from me, don't leave the house.

Your phone will ring.
Pick it up.

If the voice on the other end
doesn't say "Thunderball"...

let it ring at least six times
before you pick it up again.

Is that perfectly clear?
But--

There are no buts.

Let's just hope
we have acted in time.

[speaking German]

[birds chirping]

Bigfoot country.

First one who lays an eye
on the hairy guy wins.

What's the prize?

$15 and a year's free
subscription.

It say it right there.
(Face) Swell.

People have been looking for
this missing link for years.

I'm gonna tag this baby and get my name
right up there with Charles Darwin and...

Leo Bell.
Leo Bell? Who's that?

That's the guy
in the room next to me.

He's got a mouth so big he can put a
whole jar of peanut butter in it.

Lid and all.
Really?

Jealous?

[honking]

It's working great.

This Bigfoot mating call's gonna
lead that baby right to me.

There ain't no Bigfoot. It's
just a big story, that's all.

Oh, yeah? Well, when I catch
him, I'm gonna be rich.

[honking]

If you blow that in my face again,
I'm gonna stick it up your nose.

That would hurt.
(Hannibal) Cool it, guys.

Samantha said that no one in
town would sell her supplies.

There should be a gas station-
coffee shop up ahead.

We'll stop and pick up
a couple of things...

and I'll call and let her know
we're in the area.

[van doors closing]

There you go.
Thank you.

Now. Four hundred hamburgers?

If you ran around in the woods all day
in a hair suit, you'd get hungry, too.

Now we lay them burgers
from the forest to my window.

The big guy follows
the trail, and bam!

We catch him munching
on a burger, claim the reward.

Now 'course,
since they're your burgers...

we split that reward
right down the middle.

$7.50 cents each.

Where's your courage, man...

your sense of adventure?

You don't catch a mountain
with a mouse, you know?

Or do you?

Yeah, we're about 10 minutes
away.

Yeah, we're going to pick up a couple
of things. And then we'll be there.

Okay, We-

You friends of the Lawrences?

We're gonna work for them.

I hear they got some logs
to haul.

They got nothing to move.

Around here folks don't work
for the Lawrences.

Oh.

Hey, Face?

Did you see a sign that we passed
saying we're leaving the country?

No can't say I did, Hannibal.
How about you, Murdock?

No, sure didn't.
Well...

that means we're in the
United States of America...

and, as I remember,
it's a free country.

This is a public place.
We can go where we want.

Around here you can't, mister.
You hear me?

[groaning]

Get 'em, big guy!

[honking]

[grunting]

[groaning]

[gasping]

[grunting]

Proprietor,
here's for the breakage.

Thanks
for the use of the hall.

[exclaiming]

You think McEwan will know
we were here?

[Bigfoot call honking]

[honking loudly]

[panting]
I don't believe this.

Murdock, it's 5:00
in the morning.

[shushing]

You don't wanna scare him away.
Who?

Bigfoot.

I know he's out there.

A fleeting shadow...

the glimmer of a hairy elbow.

The outline of a footprint
in the dew-drenched earth.

The whole overstuffed
enchilada, Bigfoot.

And this is the call
of the big, blond Bigfoot.

Murdock, you're crazy.

[Face groaning]

[Murdock blowing call]

[knocking on door]

Rise and shine.

Rise and shine.
Yoo-hoo.

It's 5:00
in the morning.

I thought a soldier like you
was used to getting up early.

I am. As long as I don't have to share a
room with Marlin Perkins over there.

(Face) He kept me up all night
going on and on and on...

about Bigfoot.

No, I see him. He's coming...

I see the beast.

[birds chirping]

He's coming closer...

and closer
and... Oh, it's so horrible!

[screaming]

What you doing, fool?
We got some logging to do.

Yeah. B.A.'s gonna teach me
to be a bad logger.

Bad means good, right?
You got it, little guy.

B.A., do you know
what you've done?

Bigfoot got one look at you and hightailed
it back into the woods to warn his friends.

I wouldn't be surprised if the Bigfoots
didn't even have a reward out after you.

[grunting]

Look at little Billy.

I haven't seen him this happy
since his father passed away.

He has a good lady for a mother.
He's a lucky boy.

Boy, these trees really look a
lot bigger when you get outside.

The bigger they are,
the harder they fall.

You had to use that one,
didn't you, Hannibal?

Face, this won't take long.

McEwan can't afford to have any
logging operation he doesn't control.

If we can get the Lawrences'
logs to the mill, past McEwan...

the other loggers will see it and know
they can stand up to this slimeball.

And it'll put him
out of business.

You're gonna have to
get us a truck...

to replace the one
McEwan torched.

[moaning]

Sawdust and tweed.

My tailor's really gonna love
this one.

[screeching]

So this is the new crew
you hired, John.

That's right, McEwan.

We're going to be hauling logs.
That's good to hear.

We figured we'd just come up
here and check on union cards.

How about you?

You got a union card?
No.

Hey, Face...

you got a union card?
No.

I must have left it back
in my tuxedo.

How about you, B.A.?
This is my union card.

Hey, now easy, fellas.

We came up here nice
and friendly like.

Which is more that I can say the way you
handled yourself at the gas stop yesterday.

We handled ourselves
beautifully at the truck stop.

McEwan, it's more than just taking
the money from these loggers.

You've taken their dreams and you've
twisted 'em till there's nothing left.

That's very poetic.
The lady is right.

You taking these people money and got them
believing you can get more for their lumber.

And you can't and you know it.
You're not a union.

You're just a bunch of g*ons extorting
money from good, hardworking people.

Now easy, easy.

(McEwan)
You know, Lawrence...

seems to me there's an overdue
mortgage on this place.

And if you don't get your logs to the
mill you're gonna lose your house.

Now that's a real nasty bit
of trouble.

But I got this feeling you're in
for a whole run of nasty trouble.

Well, now that you've said
what you came to say...

get the hell off our property.

Come on.

[car engine starting] He meant what
he said, you know, about trouble.

Yeah, I expect that.

B.A...

stand guard up by the road
by those trees.

Murdock, make a half circle about a
quarter mile and see what you can find.

Face, we still gotta get that truck.
Gotcha.

Hey. Where are you taking me?
To get a truck.

[car approaching]

[tires screeching]

I don't get it.

We stop in the middle
of the forest...

you go digging under a tree, and you
expect us to get a truck with that?

"That," as you call it,
is a prop.

It's the performance
that counts. Shall we?

It's the coloring
that's got me worried.

See, the African variety
has the orange tint.

The Brazilian ones
have the dark brown spots.

Can I help you?

Frank Sullivan. G-10, USFS.

United States Forest Service.
Insecticide Division.

(Face) We could have
a big problem here.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the South
American pine chigger.

"South American" what? Pine chigger.
Deadly to trees.

We found a couple of them
crawling around out back.

Must have been in a load of
logs somebody hauled recently.

I rented a truck...

to the Garrison Brothers yesterday.
They was hauling logs.

There you go.

But they weren't pine.
They weren't?

Not pine? Good Lord!

Now they've acquired a taste
for other woods.

You could be wiped out here.

Well, what do we do?

Well, I'm pretty sure these
are the Brazilian variety.

Which, believe me,
is a big relief...

because their bite
usually isn't fatal.

Fatal?

That was the African variety that bit Dr.
Tunis last week, wasn't it?

(Samantha)
I think so.

Of course Dr. Tunis,
he had a bad heart, too.

So there were other factors
involved in his death.

Oh, boy, I sure hope the females
haven't laid their eggs yet...

'cause if they have, we could
be sitting on a time b*mb here.

Hey, what're you gonna do? What if
them females already laid their eggs?

The fumigation squad
is out, right?

They're running a few days behind schedule,
so we can't predict when they'll get here.

Wait a minute. You gotta get them out here.
I got trucks to rent.

Well, a week maybe...
At least.

I don't want that truck
on my lot.

See, it's against
department regulations...

to transport a vehicle
suspected of infestation.

On the other hand...
We could save time.

Yes, yes, you could.

Could you sign us
an authorization note, please?

Thank you.

See, what did I tell you?

It's just a combination of
charm, sophistication, finesse.

Works every time.

Sometimes that doesn't always
work on everything.

What do you mean?

Well, sometimes it's best to just be
straightforward and honest with someone.

Well, of course
if that doesn't work...

there's always charm...

sophistication and finesse.
Right.

Let's see if this thing runs.

[both cheering]

[B.A. exhaling]

Milk is good for you, Billy.
Okay, B.A., you got it.

(Hannibal)
Let's move it, B.A.

We've only got 12 hours
to get these logs to the mill.

Go!

[winch whirring]

I wonder if you could use
tuna fish as a bait?

Tuna fish?
Yeah.

You take a tuna fish sandwich and you
put it in a giant-size mousetrap...

outside his cave and you just
wait for him to get hungry.

Bigfoot hasn't been spotted
in these parts since 1954.

No, he's back. I know it.

There's even a $15 reward out for him
if you can catch a picture of him.

You wanna split it?

[birds cawing]

Colonel, I just saw a goon with
binoculars at about 10:00.

They're doing a lot of moving
behind those trees.

I saw two guys with r*fles up the hill.
Get everybody back to the house.

Do it quick, I'll go scout.

B.A.

We can't wait around here,
we gotta get out. Come on.

I'm with you.

[groaning]

Murdock.

My leg. That's a lot
of pressure on it.

[grunting]

I'll have to get some help.

[panting]

♪ I'm a lumberjack, I'm okay ♪

♪ I've got no legs,
but what the hey ♪♪

[g*nshots f*ring]

Hannibal, Murdock's hurt.
I think it's bad.

Let's get out of here.

How you doing, Murdock?

I think there's a tree
on my leg.

[struggling]

No, I can't do it. B.A.

John, you pull him out
when we get it up.

You got it.

[grunting]

He's clear.

[all panting]

Thank you, thanks, guys.
Thanks, man.

I just got a little splinter here.
You wanna help me get it out?

You're crazier
than I thought you were, fool.

All right.

McEwan's made his move...

now we'll make ours.

My Lord. What happened?
ls Billy okay?

(John)
He's fine.

McEwan and his boys decided to make
sure we couldn't haul any timber.

Looks like
they did a good job.

The winch is ruined, Hannibal.
It's nothing but scrap metal now.

Nice going, Face.
Well, thanks, B.A.

About time.

Without that winch,
we can't load the trucks.

If we don't get the timber to the mill
by nightfall, we're out of business.

We've only got a couple
of hours to get a new one.

Do you have any idea how much
a thing like that costs?

Oh, I'll bet Face knows
just the guy

who'd loan us the money
to buy one, huh, Face?

Well,
now that you mention it...

And after what happened to
Lawrence and his pals today...

I don't think we're gonna
worry about him anymore.

[chuckling]

They're probably
in the next county by now.

Why don't you tell the boys
it's payday?

[chainsaw buzzing]

I hope you don't mind us
entering without knocking.

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

They looked surprised to see us.
Yeah, I think they are.

You guys don't learn too well,
do you?

On the contrary.
We're very quick studies.

B.A., show these suckers
what happens to people...

(Hannibal) who don't
respect others' property.

Come here, pal.

Now, Face, get the cash.

My friends and I are a little unhappy
watching our backs for fallen trees.

So I got some advice for you.

Pack up...

and move to some other part
of the woods.

That was a very expensive piece of
equipment you blew up, Mr. McEwan.

So I'm sure you'll want
to make a donation, and...

that ought to just about
cover it. Thanks.

Back off, McEwan.

(John) They should be
there in about an hour.

Okay, John.

I'll keep her open for you.
I'll do it for you...

but you can't let McEwan know
I'm helping you.

Okay, thanks.

Just spoke to Claymont.
We're all set.

He'll take the whole load, but
we've got to be there by 2:00.

Good, we're ready to roll.

McEwan'll never let you get through to
the mill. He's gonna try to stop you.

He probably will.
And we'll be ready for him.

You take care of yourself,
now, B.A.

Okay, Billy, you listen to your
mother and don't you worry about B.A.

I'll be back for supper.

[gasping]

[imitating B.A.] Hey, I don't want
you giving any jive to B.A...

'bout that Bigfoot stuff,
you hear?

[B.A. chuckling]

Once you hit the mill,
you'll be safe.

I'd wish you'd let me
make this run with you.

John, you gotta stay here to take
care of Billy and Samantha...

in case McEwan's men
come back this way.

Okay, B.A., let's mount up.

Please, be careful.
You can count on it.

I'm allergic to b*ll*ts, especially
those headed in my direction.

So we're moving out.

♪ I'm a lumberjack,
I'm okay ♪

♪ I sleep all night
and I work all day ♪

♪ Wear my clothes
just once a year ♪

♪ Smells real bad
but I don't care ♪

♪ I'm a lumberjack,
that's a fact... ♪

They're rolling.

(McEwan) Comin' by you
in about five minutes.

We're ready for 'em.
They won't get through.

You better make sure
they don't.

It's steering to the left
pretty bad, Hannibal.

(B.A.)
I did what I could...

but with this load, the
steering won't last too long.

Just keep it on the road, B.A.
We'll make it.

Looks like McEwan's put out
the welcome mat.

[g*nshots f*ring]

Hold on.

Nice, B.A.

[screeching]

I could have picked
their teeth with it...

if B.A. had kept
this thing straight.

I don't think it's the best
time to tell him, all right?

Uh-oh.

This is starting
to get interesting.

This fool thing beginning
to heat up, Hannibal.

[car tires screeching]

We're burning up, man. I'll give
'em a little more firepower.

[honking]

You, Claymont?
Yup.

These logs belong
to John Lawrence.

We didn't really think
you'd make it.

You're better than we thought.

(Claymont) Boys. Halt.

Hey, Smith, I'll take that.

You're dead men.
You know that, don't you?

Oh, Colonel.

McEwan, we've got 'em
down here at the lumberyard.

(McEwan) Okay, hold
them till I get there.

(Sven)
We'll take care of them.

[grunting]

There. That'll hold 'em.

And when McEwan gets here...

you guys are gonna be
fertilizer for the trees.

I always had a green thumb.

You know, Hannibal...

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm really
cut out for this kind of work.

[grunting]

I can see it.

The heart starts
a-pumping...

and the adrenalin
starts a-flowing...

and the veins and the muscles
start to swell.

An immovable object...

against an overwhelming,
powerful muscular force.

Go to it, big guy,
you can do it.

Oh, it is a beautiful machine.

Shut up, fool.

[grunting]

You go down,
I'll tell if it hurts.

You fool!

[exclaiming]

Fool, you got the thing
on my ankle.

Thanks.

Now, they've gone to get
McEwan.

We probably got less than an
hour before they get back.

Well,
what's your plan, Colonel?

a*tillery, Captain...

we need a*tillery.

Now, team, what do you think?

Huh? Look at it.

[sawing]

Well, praise the Lord.

[tires screeching]

(Hannibal)
Places, everybody.

[motor whirring]

Curtain up.

(Hannibal)
All right, drop 'em.

[g*nshots f*ring]

N[gibbering operatically]

[grunting]

The man did try, Hannibal.

Yeah, they always try,
but they never learn.

You see, what they really need
is a plan.

[birds chirping]

You know, it's too bad you've got to go, I
can always use a bunch of good loggers.

With McEwan gone,
you'll get yourself a crew.

All right, found a guy
in Los Angeles...

who says he'll take
all the logs you can give him.

And he'll give you 50 cents a board
foot more than the going rate.

What?
Yeah...

but you gotta be there in 48 hours.
There's the address.

I'll be there.

Hey, B.A.

My tire's flat.
Wanna help me fix it?

Did you eat all your breakfast
this morning?

Yep. And I even took my vitamins so
I can be big and strong like you.

Well, okay, let's go.

It's a long way to L.A., so I
brought you some sandwiches.

Your favorite kind.
My favorite kind?

Ham sandwiches.

Well, this is the most
inexpensive job we've ever had.

No motel bills,
good home-cooked food.

You can put another $15 in that
kitty soon as Bigfoot comes around.

Murdock, I think if you
were gonna catch Bigfoot...

you'd have caught him by now.

We have to leave
in 15 minutes.

But I've got traps
set everywhere, Colonel--

Of course, I mean, if I haven't
gotten him by the time...

we're getting ready to leave, of
course, I'll throw in the towel.

But I've got a feeling.

My sixth sense tells me
that he's near.

[metal clanking]

Bigfoot. I knew I'd get him,
I knew it.

[panting]

Come on!

Murdock, don't you want
to stay behind in the van?

You know, just to be on the safe side?
Bigfoot!

Murdock!

[Murdock laughing] You dead meat, fool.
I'm gonna k*ll you.

Let me down, sucker.
I'll get you, Murdock.

You a dead man, Murdock.
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