03x05 - Daddy's Little Girl

[bunniefuu]

She says she wants to dance
'Cause she likes to groove

Come on fatso
and just bust a move

Oh, yeah Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah Oh, yeah

Hit me Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah Oh, yeah

Carl?

Carl?

Oh, big guy.

What? What's that?

Oh, good. You're up.

- Couldn't you see I was asleep?
- Oh, absolutely.

Go home, Steve.

- But I really need a favor.
- Forget it.

This is my day off
and I'm gonna relax.

I am not moving from
this spot. I am a tree.

- But...
- That's enough. Carl Winslow has spoken.

Well, okay.

It's just that my parents and I
were supposed to go to Hawaii.

But somehow, they left
for the airport without me.

I was hoping you
could give me a lift...

but hey, I'll just spend the
next two weeks with you.

- Come on, let's go.
- Whoa!

I'll get you on that plane if I
have to chase it down the runway.

Hi, honey. HARRIETTE: Hi.

Harriette, I'd like you
to meet Mike Forbes.

Fresh out of the Academy
and assigned to me.

Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you.

And it's an honor to be partnered
with Carl "Make My Day" Winslow.

Carl "Make My Day" Winslow?

Yeah.

You know, my nickname
that everyone calls me?

Oh, sure, sure.

I guess they changed it from
Carl "Make It To Go" Winslow.

- She's a terrific lady.
- The best.

Say Mike, you said that you wanted
to see a Departmental Commendation?

Yeah. You got one?

No. Actually, ahem, three.

Wow. Sarge, you're a hero.

Well, I wouldn't... Yeah.

Grab a seat, Mike.

- Oh, girl, I love my new outfit.
- Me too.

- You should have got the shoes.
- They were too expensive.

Do what I do. Wear them for
a week and take them back.

Uh-uh.

Oh, I could never
do a thing like...

- Hi.
- Hi.

Say "hi."

Hi.

Not to me, to him.

Hi.

I'm Mike Forbes. Is one
of you lovely ladies, Laura?

I am.

Great. I'm your dad's new
partner. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too...

and shake.

I mean, hands.

Hey, Mike. On Friday...

Harriette's gonna make us a big
turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

You like burgers?

Sounds great, Sarge.

Oh, I see you met
my little princess here.

Yeah, I sure did.

Dad. I'm not little.

Laura, I hope you didn't blow your
whole allowance at the record store.

Dad, it's my money.
You know I have a job.

Come on, Mike.

Harriette's got my commendations
hung up real nice over the water heater.

Woof.

- Hit me, Max.
- Why?

I walk in and see the babe of the century
sitting on my couch, and what do I do?

Act like a geek?

Oh, I went way beyond geek.

I went into "geek warp."

You're being too hard on
yourself. Look on the bright side.

Which is?

It doesn't matter how foolish you looked
since Mike doesn't know you're alive.

Ooh.

Excuse me, would one
of you lovely wahines...

like to slap a little SPF
40 on my lower lumbar?

Wow. There goes
haughty and taughty.

This looks like a nice spot...

don't you think, my
little beach bunny?

Ooh. Hah. Hah, hah.

Let's see.

Chicago is that way...

and Telstar is that away.

Hawaii is the place to
be Doo Dah, Doo Dah

On the beach at Waikiki
Oh the Doo Dah Day

Gonna see Don Ho
Wouldn't miss his show

No, no, give me the phone.

Give, give.

Talk to me, babe.

Hello, hi, Eddo. It's me, Steve.

STEVE: Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Uh... No hablo telephono.

Oh, quit kidding
around, Ekewaka.

Tell my little Lala it's
her main man, Kepano.

- Huh?
- That's all of our names in Hawaiian.

Oh, neat. Bye.

No, no, no, no, no! I
really need to talk to Laura.

You really need
to talk to Laura?

- Okay, here she is.
- No.

What do you want, Steve?

So my little macadamia
nut, do you miss me?

Like I miss a root canal.

Good news, I've
been faithful to you.

- That's really not necessary, Steve.
- I've resisted every temptation.

I'm being pursued by a
big, buxom Islander, Kaliki.

That's Hawaiian for "Woman
who blocks out the sun."

Steve, I hear lot of static.

Laura! Laura? Oh, no. My
Laura. Gotta get her. Gotta get her.

I've gotta get her back.

Oh, hi, Kaliki...

love that mu'u mu'u.

Oh, yeah

Work that body, work that body
Make sure you don't hurt nobody

Hurry up, slowpoke.

Give me a break.

I wouldn't have made it at all if
it hadn't been dog chasing me.

Hi, Mom, jogging again?

Mom, can I talk to
you for a minute?

Sure, honey. Just give me
some time to catch my breath.

Okay. Ready yet?

What's on your mind, honey?

Well, there's this guy I sort of like,
but he doesn't even know I'm alive.

How do I get him to notice me?

Well, just be yourself. Give
him a chance to get to know you.

He'll come around.

- That's all?
- That's all.

- What?
- Nothing.

She's your daughter.

I suppose you
have better advice.

Watch me work, honey.

Laura, men are like fish.

If you wanna catch one, you've
gotta put some bait on your hook.

How do I do that?

Sexy perfume, soft
hair, and a k*ller outfit.

Girl, when you walk away...

drag his heart behind.

Heel!

- Oh, wow.
- Oh, please.

Come on in, Mike.

And bask in the knowledge...

that a couple of b*at cops have
made the mean streets of Chi Town...

a little safer for
John Q. Public.

Gee, I wish I
could talk like that.

You will, son, someday.

Hey, you're already
off to a good start.

- You made your first collar today.
- Yeah, I sure did, Sarge.

And thanks for letting
me do all the paperwork.

Hey, how else you gonna
learn? Hey, take a seat.

- I'll see what's going on with dinner.
- Okay.

Hello, Michael.

Michael, it's so nice
to see you again.

And quelle surprise.

It's nice to see you too, but did you
forget I was coming over for dinner?

I must have.

Silly me.

If I had remembered,
I would have dressed.

That's quite a perfume you're
wearing. It's very noticeable.

It's called Unleashed.

- Huh.
- Shall we, as they say in Europe, sit?

Okay.

So how was your day?

Great. Your dad and
I caught a burglar.

Oh, my. You were in danger.

Not really. Your dad did
all the dangerous stuff.

I just filled out the reports.

Still, you took a risk.

Ha-ha. Of what? Papercut?

Oh, gosh.

You tickle me.

You know...

I find humor very
attractive in a man.

We've got drinks, and
we've got hors d'oeuvres.

Hello, mother.

Auntie.

Hello...

Laura?

Mike, this is my sister,
Rachel Crawford.

Hi, how are you?
It's nice to meet you.

- Harriette, I think I hear the oven timer.
- We don't have an oven timer.

Oh, you mean the
new, silent oven timer.

- Okay.
- Excuse us.

Who makes the silent oven timer?

The same people
who make silent alarms.

Hey, good news. I found
more commendations. Heh-heh.

Laura?

Yes, Father?

Heh-heh. What's with this getup?

- Uh, Carl.
- Is this for the school play?

- No, it isn't.
- Well, then, why are you wearing...

all that make up?

Excuse me.

Well, what's the
matter? What'd I do?

Could you excuse us, please?
- Sure.

What? Ow! What?

Ahem. Excuse me.

Hello? STEVE: Hello, Rachel?

- Steve?
- Yeah. I need a big favor, pronto.

You see, it seems that I have spurned
the advances of a woman named Kaliki...

one time too many.

She has driven me into
the sand like a tent spike!

Steve, what do you want
me to do about it from here?

Could you call the concierge and
ask him to come and dig me out?

I tried calling him myself,
but he recognized my voice.

And could you call fairly
soon? The tide's coming in.

Ooh, ooh. And hurry! Hurry!

Laura? It's me.

- Can I come in?
- It's your house.

I guess I really
did it this time.

I know I've put my foot
in my mouth before...

but I think this time I
was tasting my knee joint.

Oh, come on, honey, help
me out a little, talk to me.

Dad, you humiliated me.
Mike thinks I'm a total fool.

Oh, honey, I admit
I was out of line.

But hey, just think, one day you and I
are gonna look back at this and laugh.

It won't be soon.

I've been so busy trying
to play Supercop for Mike...

that, honey, I didn't even
notice you had a crush on him.

It's not a crush. It's a natural
extension of my essential womanhood.

I mean, dad, it's not like I
was gonna marry the guy.

Good, because he's engaged.

Ouch. Now I feel even worse.

Hey...

you remember Humphrey Beargart?

Sure.

You won him for me at the
county fair on my sixth birthday.

I remember you
tried to talk like him.

Of all the county
fairs in the world...

she had to walk into mine.

Keep working on it.

You know, I remember
to win Humphrey here.

I had to sh**t water into a
clown's mouth at 10 cents a try.

Thirty eight bucks later,
we had him. Ha-ha-ha.

You know, Laura, in those
days you were Daddy's little girl.

Man, if I could have frozen time, I think I
would have kept you 6-years-old forever.

But I couldn't...

and now you've grown
into a beautiful young lady.

And sweetheart, I promise to try
to treat you like one from now on.

Daddy?

Yeah?

We'll always have
the county fair.

Aloha-wiki, Winslows.

Steve, what are you doing here?

Well, my flight just
got in from Hawaii...

and I couldn't wait to
give you your souvenirs.

Steve, it's 1:32 in the morning.

Oh, it's never too late
for hand carved coconuts.