You ever have
one of those stories
Where everything
just falls into place?
This one
practically wrote itself.
That's nice.
I had the day free,
so avery and I went to the zoo.
Look what I got.
(Meows)
Everybody must have
been at work.
We practically had
the place to ourselves.
Health care, child care,
welfare, bad air
The neighbor's damn dog.
I guess I've got nothing
to do until show time, huh?
Is that great or what?
(Growls)
Great?
There's nothing great.
Jim's dry, frank's late
And corky's going
to get us sued!
So what if we pulled it off
for shows?
Maybe it's the th
that's the k*ller.
Go away! We're working!
Oops.
And here I am bragging
about having nothing to do.
I am really, really sorry.
I-i-i feel awful.
Awful good!
The only thing better
about not having to work
Is not having to work
when everyone else
This day just keeps getting
better and better and...
Miles:
get out of here!
Bobby, I need for you to...
Frank, could I see you
for a minute?
Murph,
I'm really swamped here.
Sure. I understand.
No problem
Even though this would
just take a second--
One teeny-tiny moment
out of your day.
But if you're swamped,
you're swamped.
I understand.
You don't have time for me.
Sorry to have bothered you.
Okay, okay, I'm cong.
You are really getting
this mother thing down.
So, what's up?
I just have one quick
question, frank.
What do you think
happens when we die?
Excuse me?
You know, when we pass on,
buy the farm
Take the big dirt nap.
What do you think happens?
Do you think this is it
Or is there something more,
and if so, what's it like?
Okay, that's
three questions.
This is what
you come up with
When you have
a half hour of free time?
No wonder you don't like
to go on vacation.
"Childhood:
the early years." Yeah?
I started catching up
on my reading
And I started
skimming ahead.
There's only so much you can
read about potty training
And I came to this chapter--
"When your child
asks about death."
Death, frank.
I haven't even figured out
How to explain
the reagan years.
Murph, aren't you
rushing this a little?
Avery's barely talking.
He is very advanced.
He's already learned how
to climb out of his crib.
How long before he
pulls the pacifier
out of his mouth
And says, "mom, I'm having
an existential crisis"?
You're serious about this,
aren't you?
You really want
to talk about this?
Yes. It's the one thing
we all have to face
And nobody wants
to talk about it.
I know intimate things
about you
But I don't know how
you feel about death.
Personally, I'm against it.
Fine, frank.
If you're not comfortable
talking about it...
You just caught me
by surprise.
I'm not uncomfortable
with this.
In therapy,
death comes up all the time.
Almost as much as sex.
The only difference is,
I don't cry as much
when we talk about death.
Remind me
Not to come to you
when avery hits puberty.
Okay, I am going
help you with this.
One of these days
You'll have talk
to your kid about death.
Why don't you start
by telling him what you believe?
I don't know what I believe.
Always avoided
thinking about it.
I figured that if you didn't
think you were going to die
You wouldn't.
Hey, it's worked so far.
What about your parents?
They must have
told you something.
When I asked my mother
She said "you have
too much free time"
And signed me up
for tennis lessons.
And signed me up
my father's answer was.
"If you pull the plug
on a refrigerator,
Does it keep running?"
From ages - , I thought goodwill
came to take us away.
You're lucky.
My parents sent me
to catholic school.
Death was practically
a required course.
Heaven, hell, purgatory, limbo.
When you've got
sister mary catherine
Standing over you
Saying that one peep
into the girls' locker room
Could condemn you
for all eternity
You believed her.
That woman had a muscle
in her right arm
The size of my head.
Besides,
she was right
About wayne
"the whacker" minelli
Eventually needing glasses.
I don't know.
It's just too much pressure.
I should have been a parent
years ago
When parents were expected
to screw up their kids.
Man, that catholic school stuff
stayed with me for years.
Then I started seeing stuff
that sort of shook my faith.
After reporting from beirut,
belfast, cambodia
Going to hell
for seeing patty hagan
Change into
her field hockey uniform
Didn't make
that much sense anymore.
Yeah, I know.
I always thought
There was
a benevolent being
Then how do you explain
all of the injustice
And the suffering...
And the chicago cubs?
Some things
you just can't explain
So after a while
what I started doing
Was looking for answers
someplace else.
I met this woman named andrea.
She got me into eastern religion
and swami sukananda.
He taught that death was
a return to the universal soul.
But then the swami got caught
skimming donations
To buy a gap franchise.
Then there was robin.
She got me into buddhi
Then it was celia
and the christian scientists
Or was that judy
and the rastafarians?
Couldn't you find
an amish chick?
This is death
and the meaning of life
We're talking about here.
I guess I was just looking
for a comforting answer.
Okay, so what about now?
Don't know.
I'm not seeing anyone right now.
Got to get back to work.
I'm never going
to be ready for the show.
Just one more thing.
With all of your doubts
and searching
And exploring
alternative religions
How come you still go
to confession?
If sister mary catherine
was right
I'm going to need
all the help I can get.
So, what are you
reading there, kid?
Death and dying,
life after death,
Tibetan book of the dead.
Murphy, honey, reading all this
and eating my meat loaf--
How's it going to look?
I'm just doing
some research, phil.
In case the subject
ever comes up with avery.
You've got kids.
Any chance they never ask?
Not when you got eight kids
And the easiest thing
to win at the school carnival
Is baggy full of goldfish.
On a really hot days,
the grieving started
Even before we left
the parking lot.
What did you tell them?
Oh, that death isn't the end
That everything goes on
in one form or another.
It's been almost four year
since my dad d*ed
And still talk to him
about once a week.
You talk to him?
Sure, I like to tell him
how the family's doing
Ask his opinion
about the business.
I don't know if he hears me
But nobody's
ever going to convince me
That it wasn't dad
that guided me
Into buying
at cappuccino machine.
$ . For a thimbleful
of coffee and some steamed milk?
Dad would have
loved the ' s.
You think you have
a direct line to the hereafter
And you're talking
about appliances?
I'd be looking to nail him
on the bigger questions--
Where are you?
Is it tough to get in?
I can find out those things
when I get there.
Right now, we've got
a business to run.
I'm glad I found you.
I'm shifting the order
for the show.
You're no longer up first.
I know you're not happy
But I don't have time
to debate it.
Did you know that story
about your hair and fingernails
Continuing to grow after you die
is an old wives' tale?
It just seems that way
Because your skin shrinks
when you're dead...
Okay, you're up first.
But this is the last time
I'm caving in
to one of your threats.
Miles, wait a minute.
I'm dealing with something
kind of difficult here.
I thought I could
handle it myself, but...
What do you think happens
when we die?
What do I think
happens when...
Why are you talking
about that?
People don't talk about is
unless...
Oh, my god!
Murphy!
What?
I knew this day would come
sooner or later.
It doesn't take a genius
to see it.
It's your diet, your stress.
The way you keep your anger
bottled up inside.
Wait, you don't do that.
I do that.
Miles, I'm not dying.
Oh, thank god.
An image flashed through my head
of this guy in overalls
Stenciling the name
"jane pauley"
On your dressing room door.
After suitable
grieving period, of course.
Back to work.
Miles... Miles...
Just five more minutes.
I'm trying to figure out
What to tell avery
about death
And since
he's half-jewish...
Well, what do you
believe happens when we die?
Oh, sure.
You can't start
with the easy stuff
Like why we play
"hide the matzo" on passover.
All right, five minutes
and I'm out the door.
Jews... We don't really talk
about heaven and hell.
We're supposed to focus
on the here and now.
We're sort of like
the unitarians that way
Only they don't have to eat
Gefilte fish.
Let me understand this.
You've got one
of the world's major religions.
You been around
for over , years
But the subject
of the hereafter never came up?
I'm not saying
we don't think about it.
As I kid,
I was obsessed with it.
Some kids played doctor.
I played funeral.
I used to put my arms
over my chest
And pretend I was dead.
The kids in the neighborhood
would bring sponge cake.
Miles, I need answers.
You're dead.
You get sponge cake.
You have to wonder
what comes next.
Not really, because...
I never talk about this
But I had a near-death
experience once.
When you thought you had
lyme disease?
No, i...
Chronic fatigue syndrome?
No...
Swine flu?
You want to hear?
Yes.
I was nine.
I was eating cr*cker jacks
in the back seat
When we hit this bump
And a peanut
got lodged in my throat.
My mother used to tell me,
"don't eat in the car"
But did I listen?
You're bad to the bone.
So what happened?
I remember choking,
and then I passed out.
Then it was like
those stories you hear--
The tunnel, the bright light
My aunt shirley standing there
reaching out to welcome me
Which was weird because
she was living in new jersey
With my uncle sid
at the time.
Just as I was about
to enter the light
This voice told me
it wasn't my time yet.
Suddenly, I was back in the car,
spitting out that peanut.
I like to think that voice
was the voice of god.
Of course, it also said
"I told you not to eat
in the car"
So I can't be sure.
But ever since then
I've thought maybe this life
is just a prelude.
Maybe there's a whole beautiful
world waiting for us.
You're basing your whole faith
on an afterlife
On a pothole and a peanut?
Well, okay,
it's not a burning bush
But what's the alternative?
That we die
and then that's it?
I'd like to believe
there's something more.
It's just that I'm having
a hard time picturing it.
So what are you picturing?
That we wind up lying
under six feet of topsoil
Our eyelids glued shut
Turning into little piles
of mulch?
That we have no soul?
Or if we do,
we just drift for all eternity
In the cold, black
emptiness of the void
Our minds still working
Trapped in
an endless nothingness
Stretching on forever
and ever and ever and ever?
Oh, god.
I just wanted to have
A casual conversation
about death
And you get
all morbid on me.
I've got to be in makeup.
Would you bring that stuff?
Phil, phil, phil...
Let me ask you something.
What do you think happens
when we die?
That's an interesting
question, miles.
Why don't we talk about it
over a nice cappuccino?
(Woman crying)
I'm just saying
it happens to all of us.
Hey, I didn't make
the rules.
What's the matter with didi?
We were having
a chat, that's all.
About what?
Death.
Oh. Pass the blush, please.
I just said
we were talking about death
And you didn't blink.
Last week, when
the curling iron was missing
We practically had
to sedate you.
Well, I'm sorry
But death doesn't
bother me that much.
That's why I never
can stay mad at people.
I just picture how I'll feel
when they die
And I end up
forgiving them.
How do you think
I've been able
To get along
with you so well, silly?
I'm not talking
about other people's deaths.
I'm talking about
when you die.
Doesn't that fill you
with some anxiety?
Not really.
When my time comes,
I'm going to heaven.
You sound like one
of those disneyland commercials.
"You've just been run over
by a speeding bus.
What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going to heaven."
It's right there
in the bible.
"Rejoice
and be exceedingly glad
For great is your reward
in heaven."
Matthew, chapter five,
verse .
Or is that the part
Where jesus is washing
the leper's feet?
I always get those confused.
Okay. So you're
going to heaven.
What's it like there?
Well, the streets
are all paved with gold.
There are lots of famous people
And the buildings shine with
the brilliance of , lights.
So, you're saying heaven
Is like spending eternity
in las vegas?
You can't really believe that.
Why not?
It's like saying
Heaven's up in the clouds.
All you have to do
is take a plane trip
And you can kiss
that theory good-bye.
What do you think?
God would just plop heaven down
right there in the sky
Where any old wandering by
could just plow right into it?
Really!
Give the lord a little credit.
All right, for the sake
of argument
You're in heaven, dead.
There's gold streets,
bright lights
Lots of famous people.
You can hear mozart play.
You can watch nijinsky dance.
It's paradise
for the first millennium
Or two.
But then,
after the next , years
Even einstein's stories
are getting stale
And you're checking
your watch
Looking for your next bus out,
but there is no bus.
Only a weekend shuttle to hell,
where you can watch
The th billionth performance
of cats.
There you go--
Dragging all those earth
problems into heaven.
Don't you understand,
murphy?
There aren't going to be
any problems.
If there were,
it wouldn't be heaven.
I'm beginning
to think
You're not even trying.
Corky, I am trying.
A part of me would like
to believe the way you do.
You have no doubts.
You're perfectly happy
and content.
It's not that hard.
You just have to have
a little faith.
If you ever wanted to
You could always join me
at my church sometime.
This sunday after services
We're having a pot luck
lunch for singles.
Oh, thanks, but no thanks.
They're raffling off
a car.
Wow, what a deal.
I could find the lord,
meet mr. Right
And drive away
in a brand-new buick.
I see you came up
with a commentary.
Yes. I'm proofing it now.
What's it about?
Stress and overcrowding
in contemporary society
With particular attention
Paid to my neighbor's
damn dog.
Oh, stop toying with me.
I know what's coming--
Murphy's little death talk.
There's no escaping you,
is there?
Don't worry.
I'm through talking about it.
No one's given me
anything useful all day.
I can't understand it.
So many people
fall back on faith
To cope with the deeper
mysteries of life.
I make the waiter
show me the pot
Before I believe it's decaf.
All right!
Five minutes, people!
I'm sorry, murphy.
I can't talk about death.
Union rules.
Okay, you're right.
There is no escaping me.
You go to church.
You seem at peace
with yourself.
I envy that.
I want to understand it.
There's not much
to understand.
It's just something
doris and I do.
You do it sunday after sunday.
You must get something from it.
What?
Oh... So many things.
The music is inspiring.
There's a look
of joy and fellowship
On the faces
of those around you.
No offense, jim
But throw in a plastic slide
and some bouncy balls
And you could be
In avery's gymboree class.
There's got to be
something more.
Certainly there's more,
but it's...
It's not something that can
be easily articulated.
Come on, give it a sh*t.
What are you hearing
that helps you cope
With life and death?
Nothing.
There. Are you happy?
I'm getting nothing.
I don't understand.
I go to church
Because I see a world
filled with cruelty and chaos.
I need to believe
that there's some order
Some purpose to all this.
So I surround myself
with the trappings of belief
Hoping that some day,
that belief will be mine.
What if there is no order
or purpose?
I'm praying that there is.
I guess there's just too much
of the reporter in me.
I have to have facts.
When it comes to death
The only facts are that you live
and then you die.
The angel of death
has struck again.
Don't stop on our account.
I'm sure there are people
left in the studio
Who haven't been sucked
Into your vortex
of doom.
There's a pot luck
this sunday at my church.
You could win a car.
If the loved ones
Will line up
behind the hearse
The procession
is about to depart.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I just thought talking
about it would help
Because whether we want
to face it or not
Death is the elephant
in the room
That no one ever mentions.
And it's coming closer
with every tick of the clock.
In five... Four...
Three... Two...
Murphy:
how's he doing?
Shh!
It took about a dozen times
Through
the three little pigs
To get him to sleep.
If I have to go through
that huffing and puffing
One more time
I'm going to need
a respirator.
Oh, eldin...
Look at him.
He's so innocent.
Wouldn't it be great
if he could stay like that
And never have to face
the big questions
About life...
And death?
You read ahead in that
baby book, didn't you?
I don't know what
to tell him, eldin.
Do you think he's too young
for tennis lessons?
You know
I always thought that death
has gotten a bum rap.
Without that big deadline
hanging over our heads
There would be no real push
to get anything done.
What's more, if we
were never going to die
You'd have to buy
a whole lot of pants.
I can see you've given this
a lot of thought.
Actually, no.
But I tell you this--
I do believe
in life after death.
(Soft moan)
Awake or just turning?
He was just turning.
You believe
in life after death?
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, but not in the way
that you probably think.
I mean, I believe
that you live on
In the things
that you create.
For me, it's my art.
That's my immortality.
Maybe you got something
like that o.
Remind me to give him a raise.
Eldin:
I heard that.