03x18 - Kidnap

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "CHiPs". Aired: September 15, 1977 - May 1, 1983.*
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Series follows the lives of two motorcycle officers of the California Highway Patrol.
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03x18 - Kidnap

Post by bunniefuu »

How'd you get into
off Back home?

The wide-open spaces
of Wyoming, I guess.

Out here it was Harlan.

Pure, clean desert air.

You're gonna love it.

Sure.
All that rough driving?

Ponch, that's the challenge.

That's the fight.
The terrain and the clock.

Try to survive the course and
get the best time you can get.

Hey, you're gonna love it.

Hey, it gets me
out of town for three days.

That I love.

Hey.

You okay, sarge?

Yeah. It's just a routine
rear-ender with a deuce.

Hey, the Mojave Desert's
that way

if you're lost already.

With me as navigator,
who could get lost?

I hear the price
of gold was up again.

Your boss is getting
richer every day, right?

If the gold is still there.

Freddy, nobody saw me
crash the airplane.

Nobody's found the gold,
or we'd know it.

It's been there three months.

Who's gonna
take it now

Uh-oh. Cops up ahead.

'Highway patrol
writing tickets.'

They got no beef with us.

I know. I just want
us to get to Funeral Mountain

without any
attention paid to us.

Hey, guys,
I got a loose 50 cents.

Should I bet you to win?

Amateur race, amateur bet.

You got it.

See you later. Good luck.

If either one of you
come back with a broken bone

I'll break your arm.

I don't know, they drive
700 miles a week on-duty.

They get three days off

and then they wanna
come up here and drive

250 miles
in an off-road race.

At a place called
Funeral Mountain yet.

How do you figure 'em?

Well, that's it.
The great outdoors.

You recognize it at all?

Man, it's dusty here.

Well, you don't wear
a white silk suit.

I mean, when the wind comes up,
it gets worse.

Any other tips, old timer?

Yeah. Don't pick up
any scorpions.

Man, I'm gonna
love it here, huh?

I'm gonna check on
the tech inspection, alright?

Hiya, class three. You okay?

I'm fine, but only three?

I thought I'd
rate at least a six

maybe a seven.

Uh-oh.
First

It's that obvious?

You don't know
what class you race in

your truck's too clean

and you're too clean.

Uh, yeah,
I'm a beginner.

I'm innocent,
I'm inexperienced

and I'm Ponch.
Hi.

Save your energy, sailor.
You must have work to do.

Me? No. I'm free
the rest of the day.

Well, we're not,
we have to register

we have to fix her
transmission, re-weld my frame

and get a tech inspection.

Hmm.

Friends of yours?

No. Just discussing
frames and transmissions.

About ready for
our tech inspection.

Alright, gentlemen..

Harlan?

You didn't tell me
he was officiating.

Team of Baker
and Poncherello.

Entering class three.

Stock 4x4, huh?

Alright.

Is this your first race?

Harlan, you know it is.

As a friend, I know that.

As an official, I'm asking.

Five-point harness system, good.

Hey, I think I know
those two guys.

Oh, yeah.

The guys the cops were
ticketing on the freeway.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
The blue truck.

Your shock absorbers..

Were they done by
a certified master mechanic?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You.

It's a good job.

We got tools, spare tires

and plenty of spare parts.

Alright, you pass.

Your number's 24.

'Now, you attach this
can to your vehicle.'

An official will drop a marker
in it at each checkpoint.

We're in the race, Ponch.

Against stuff like that?

'No, no.
That's a class above us.'

'That's modified class two.'

'They tear it down
and rebuild it.'

They got about
60,000 into that thing.

Well, I didn't think this
was a rich man's hobby.

It's good enough for us.

You know..

Now that I'm
out here again..

...I think I should get more
money for the chance I took.

Setting down a sick airplane

in a restricted area
where nobody ever goes.

I told you before,
you should've

stretched it out
to Bakersfield.

Oh, yeah. Wouldn't
that be somethin'?

I try to make Bakersfield,
I crash into the middle of town.

I can just hear
the Chamber Of Commerce now.

Come see our city streets

paved with a half a million
in syndicate gold.

Comical. Boss would
get a belly laugh.

Oh, yeah. Laugh his head off
if I d*ed out there.

Like they think I did.

You know, you could've
packed that gold

all on your back
and been long gone.

Uh-huh. So I'm dumb.

Or I'm honest.

Or my knee
was so busted up

I couldn't carry
200 pounds of anything.

You know, the funny thing
is you're dead.

I mean, according
to everybody else.

I could knock you off
out there and just leave you.

Then you wouldn't
get paid nothin'.

You don't know
where the plane is.

I didn't until
I saw the map.

Now I just get off
the race track at the arrow

go where you ditched
the plane and the gold

in that circle.

- Yeah.

Oh, unless..

Unless I made phony markings
to protect myself with.

The course is clearly marked

with lime and flags

and we know it's safe,
but remember

Fort Todd has been a bombing
and a*tillery range since 1917.

There are some
unexploded shells out there.

'So stay on the course.'

I'm gonna love it here, right?

Take over, Harlan.

You have some
absolutely horrible

real estate here, captain.

That's the way we like it!

Now, we just have
a few association rules..

Hey, you got
any entries left?

I feel like a race!

Andy Stomer.
Is he racing here?

You know him?

Supersport? No, but
everybody else does.

Made a fortune last year
jumping that river.

What's he doing
racing an amateur race?

I mean, there's no money.
Just trophies.

This is the little baby that
beams us right in on the gold.

Don, the night you crashed
the plane and hiked out..

- Yeah.

- Nope.

Nobody here would
know who you are, right?

Right.

Man, they looked
for me for a month.

I shaved the beard.
I dyed the hair.

I lost 20 pounds.
My mother wouldn't know me.

What's the problem?

Oh, I don't know.

And who is this guy
Supersport Stomer?

And that official
Harlan?

He's with the motor
maintenance department

of the CHP I know.

And he knows those
two guys in the blue truck.

'I just got the feeling that
somebody knows why we're here.'

Fred, your boss
is the only one

who knew we were gonna
wait for the race

and get in here
with the racers.

If anybody knows
we're here for the gold

they got it
from his big mouth.

Aye, you talkin'
about first-timers.

You haven't even
tried Ponch's chili.

We're off-roaders.
We take chances.

Oh, yeah? You're lucky
the Wyoming kid's not cooking.

He wanted to do
his specialty.

Fried rattlesnake.

Ponch says you raced
in Wyoming, Jon.

I hear it's great.

Yeah, well,
California desert's

a lot bigger challenge

rougher and more mysterious.

Right. It takes
a special person.

- Mm-hmm.

You know, they say
that guy will bet any amount

do anything to win.

Supersport?
Don't worry.

He's not in
the same class with you.

I know. Doesn't race
in the same class, either.

That's what I meant,
but you can take it both ways.

You know those guys over there?

No. New on
the circuit, I guess.

Why?

Well, they've been eyeballing
Jon and me all day long.

Uh, chili's ready.

Well, let's eat.

Did you talk to them?

No. I checked out the jeep.

Who are they?
Do you know?

The one with
the limp is a pilot.

The big guy is Fred Larson

what's known in the underworld
as a mechanic.

Professional k*ller.

What?

Andy, what is this?

A challenge. A contest.

'Just part of the game, baby.'

But if those guys
get in my way

I'll break their backs,
and pound 'em into the ground.

Alright, uh, good luck
to both of you.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

Hey, beautiful rig.

Well, I'm not in your class.

Good luck.

He doesn't act like a cop.

Good undercover cops never do.

Hey, Supersport.

I'm Frank Poncherello.
My partner Jon Baker.

We're great followers
of your career, you know?

- I'm Mrs. Stomer.

- Beth.
- Come on.

Uh, wait a minute,
I think the idea here

was to say good luck.

The idea here
is to get some free advice.

Okay, I'll give you some.

Stay out of my way.
You, too.

Andy's always
like this before an event.

You didn't say thank you, Jon.

I'll write him a note.
Get in.

Andy, why did you do that?

They're nothing to you.

I want to see
what they'd do.

Let's go, huh?

Good time to start.

Just enough cars in front
of us to cut the course

and not too many
to chew it up.

Just spoke to the guys
in that fancy jeep.

They've even got
a direction finder.

They're either
gung-ho or goofy.

We're not racing them,
we're racing the clock.

Class two drivers,
to your cars.

Class two competition
will start in two minutes.

Hey, look at Supersport.

Direction finder.

I knew it! I knew it!

There's been a leak.
He knows!

I thought for once, we might
come out just to race.

We did, baby.

For half a million
dollars in gold coins.

I don't know about
your so-called cops

but Mr. Stomer
is here for the gold.

And he's playing
show and tell.

Come on,
don't be a fool, Fred.

He wants to play, let's play.

We'll lose our start. Let's go.

How's that finder
gonna help us?

The tone is from the airway
beacon on Funeral Mountain.

When I started losing power,
I flew in on that beacon.

We get in
the reverse course now

and drive straight
to where I crash landed.

So Stomer can do
the same thing!

No! He doesn't know
what course we were flying.

He's using his
a different way.

- To follow us!

He probably planted a bug
someplace in this jeep.

Keep going!
Let him follow!

Let him follow us
clear off the race course.

Then we off him
with nobody peeking.

How come I gotta think of all
the plans? You're the crook!

Try the DF.

It's working.

I make it 30 miles
to the checkpoint.

After we pass in Arroyo

go through silt

two sinks, and a t*nk.

Pure, clean
desert air, huh?

We'll get rid of
the dust in the t*nk.

What's a t*nk?

It's where the last water
stands in a dry creek bed.

Yeah, well,
sounds like a swamp.

Heh, a small one.

Terrific.

Gotta get rid of those cops!

Fred, you just think
they're cops!

Okay, Stomer
got wise to this.

Cops might be wise

but they'd be Feds, not CHP!

So, maybe they're Feds!

- Get outta my way!
- Watch out!

You alright?

Lousy jeep forced me
right off the trail.

Yeah? Well,
join the club.

Couple of dangerous dudes.

Broken axle.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah.

But now I'm
riding with you.

Listen, if you
give us a hand

we won't have to call for help
and be disqualified.

Jon, it's a race.
There's rules.

Every man for himself.

Make that every person.

And let me get my
hands on the person

that ran me off the course.

Okay, baby, back it up!

'Back it!'

Hold it! Hold it!
You'll tear something loose.

'Wait a minute.'

Let's go check on Supersport.
Looks like he's stuck, too.

Your truck okay?

Yeah, peachy keen.
It's just resting.

We might as well give
each other a hand.

We got some free advice.

Stay out of your way.

Hey, come on. I was just
putting you guys on.

Now, look, you need a winch
to get back on the course.

I've got one.

But I'm hung up
on that log over there.

'Car 43 to race central.'

'Off the course at marker 94.'

'Just a blown engine.
No driver injury. Go.'

'That's a roger on that.
We'll pick him up.'

Over and out.

Take care of that, will you?

- 'Hi.'
'

Here's Harlan!

Hey, you're too soon.

The early finishers won't be
coming in until about 3 o'clock.

Well, we thought it'd
take at least that long

to chill the champagne.

Hey, hey, hey!

How they doing?

You mean the team of
Baker and Poncherello?

Who else?

I haven't heard.

Okay, back it up easy!

'The log will give way.
Go ahead.'

I know Andy let you
do all the work.

It's hard to explain
his compulsion.

I feel as if I'm always
apologizing for him.

Then he ought to stop.

Or maybe somebody needs
to straighten him out.

Beth, get in the truck.

Get in the truck, I said,
or I'll leave without you.

Hey, uh,
wait a minute.

What about the truck
and the winch?

That does nothing
to help me win, friend.

Come on, get in!

Hey, wait a minute!

- Wait a minute!
- Hey! Hold it, man!

The guy said he had a winch. He
didn't say he was gonna use it.

You been in the sun too long?
I mean, this isn't even funny.

Hey, Jon, he was gonna
leave us anyhow.

This way, he'll
have a surprise.

He sprung a leak.

He's losing
engine coolant.

'Uh'

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Ha ha! You said
I'd love it here.

Well, I love it.

Time limit's
what worries me.

If we don't finish
this race by 6 o'clock

the finish doesn't count.

Hey, listen,
we only lost 15 minutes.

Not too much if we can
get this thing to back up.

Okay, I'll try
to guide you out.

Alright.

Ready?

Alright.

Oh, easy.

Okay, you got it.

Okay, go on.
Take it back.

Hey, stop!

What's the matter, man?

Get on the radio. Call 'em
about 100 yards from marker 125.

There's an unexploded bombshell.

- Go on, take a look.

- You just missed it.
- I don't want to look.

Here, you, you tell 'em.

Lift the pins.

Yeah, I will.

The coolant line is loose.

Tell me about the gold.

Okay, sweetheart,
I'll tell you about it.

The Syndicate
launders some profits

down in South America and then

turns them into gold coins

and ships them
back here by airplane.

One of the planes disappeared
about three months ago.

Disappeared

- Oh. Here.
- Yeah.

A guy by the name
of Fred Larson

was paid to recover the gold.

Where he goes, I go.

Andy, I don't like you involving
yourself in organized crime.

Sweetheart,
I am not involved.

But as you know,
I love the game

and I bet high stakes.

Now, listen, I met
a couple of guys

I gave them some money
for some information

about Larson and the gold.

We don't need the money, Andy.

Don't you understand?

It's not the money,
it's the game.

What about those two guys who

helped us whom
you left out there?

What if they die out there?
Is that part of the game?

Let's go. In the truck.

Andy, I am afraid for you.

This won't satisfy you.

Nothing has in the years
since we've been together.

Please, honey, give it up.

No! Now knock off
the feminine slop.

Now, baby, I told you before
nothing's gonna stop me.

Not this truck, not you,
and not the desert.

Now let's go. I'm leaving.

- No!

we leave the race course
pretty soon.

Lost sight of Supersport,
so slow down.

We're going so slow now
everybody's passing us.

Slow down.
Let him catch up.

Look, maybe
we lost him for good.

Now would be the time
to pull over, stop

check for that bug, find it,
and get rid of it.

Stomer, man.

Lead him off the course
and get rid of him.

I don't know,
I don't know about

wiping somebody out
without orders.

Hey, who made this
a life or death one

'Stomer.'

Tell your beloved
boss the truth.

You did it in self-defense.

I'm not too crazy about this.

Hey, those turkeys put
my bike out of action.

And us riding double
put you out of the race.

Hey, did you see me
fake that fall?

Yeah!

We gotta get them, Don.

They got the DF, the charts,
the map, everything.

Wait, wait. Wait.

Let me think.
Let me think.

Think what?

It'll take a little longer,
but I can find the gold.

And we can work our way
out of here like I did before.

We don't finish this race,
they're gonna start a search.

That's at least three hours.
We'll be long gone by then.

Your cops are out of this.

And if Stomer bugged the jeep

he'll follow it
to the finish line.

The girls
have got our jeep.

Forget about the girls.

They don't know
what this is all about.

Come on.
Let's get out of here.

- Treasure.
- Treasure.

- Treasure!

Look, these guys
are after treasure.

'A pilot's license, Don Mesker'

'a newspaper article about him
disappearing, and a map.'

And right here,
dollar signs.

Nattie, maybe
the treasure's

why they have the DF.

You know, those guys
in the jeep

they did that to us
on purpose, Jon.

Ahh.

Maybe they thought
we were somebody

that they knew,
somebody else.

Yeah, we are someone else.

A couple of dummies out here

'driving in an off-road race.'

Uh, maybe they
found out from Harlan

that we're cops,
and they hate cops.

Hey.

'
- I swear I saw somebody.

There.

Thank you.

Thanks.

You're both really nice.

If that were
Syndicate gold

Stomer's probably right.

Those are
Syndicate guys in the jeep.

Yeah, we're gonna be too late
unless we catch 'em

before they leave the course.

But don't you
understand? I left him.

And I don't care
about the gold.

Beth, are you mad enough
to get him k*lled?

- No--
- Well, those guys in the jeep..

I mean, they're gonna
set him up and knock him off

without even batting an eye.

That's right. So let's go.

Radio's cutting out.

Look, I shouldn't
have involved you two.

Look, Beth, we're
already involved.

We're police officers.

'What was that?'

'That was a t*nk.'

Harlan, this is Ponch.

Harlan, this is Ponch.
You copy? Over.

'Harlan, this is Ponch
you copy? Over.'

10-4, Poncherello. Over.

Harlan, can you code 33 this?

Code 33, that means
clear all channels.

That's highway patrol
brevity, uh, code. Yeah.

Uh, 10-4, Poncherello.

All drivers, hold
the radio channel.

Poncherello, you are 10-17.
Over.

Harlan, 10-17 means
relay papers and supplies.

Oh, yeah, right. Uh, roger.

Uh, uh, uh, 10-22
that, Poncherello.

You are a, uh,
10-2, 10-9 over.

Is the helicopter 10

Uh, in service.

Uh, uh, rog..
uh, 10-4.

Uh, that's
a negative on that.

'Uh, uh, Air One is-is, uh'

11-78 on to, uh, 11-80.

Now that's accident
with injuries.

On, uh, south loop. Over.

We just passed
marker flag 276.

'We're chasing some
bad guys out here.'

We think they're gonna
leave the race

and head for
Funeral Mountain.

You better get Captain Meadows.

We're gonna need that jeep.

Hold it. I gotta stop.

We couldn't go
through the checkpoints

in this thing anyway.

Trail six is clear.

It bisects the course.
Just follow this map.

'I think you can
intercept them.'

Right.

Look, this looks like
where he marked the arrow.

So go that way.

They said
stay on the course.

Hey, you read
the newspaper clipping.

That pilot could've
crashed around here.

And..

What that gadget
may be picking up

is an airplane signal.

Okay.

Hold it.

We gotta stay on the beam.

- Okay.

The signal would come from,
like, the mountain, right?

'Yeah.'

That way.

Funeral Mountain.

Hey, Nattie,
what would you say

if I think we're
being followed?

- I know.

Hey, there's somebody
up ahead of us.

It's gotta be Stomer. Hit it.

Stop. Stop.

Somebody drove off
the course back there.

The end of the rainbow.

Whoo!

It's all here.

Come on.

'Come back!'

Come back here!

That gold's mine!

Bring any handcuffs with you?

No. I came to see
you win the race.

Now it looks like you
won't even finish.

Look, they're all
in our custody.

All except Mrs. Stomer.

Anyhow, thanks
for saving us.

Hey, are we under arrest?

Just don't run off until
we get this thing sorted out.

Uh, I'll see you guys
back at the finish line.

Hey, wait a minute,
why don't you go back

and get the champagne ready?

Win, lose, or draw,
we're gonna finish this race.

And then you'll tell me what
this is all about, right?

Oh, yeah, yeah. We'll tell
you everything we've done.

Well, the only thing
we haven't done

is hit an unexploded shell.

Ooh. I love it here.
I love it.
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