05x01 - Mayo, Hold the Pickle

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Hill Street Blues". Aired: January 15, 1981 - May 12, 1987.*
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The show chronicles the lives of the staff of a single police station located on Hill Street in an unnamed large city.
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05x01 - Mayo, Hold the Pickle

Post by bunniefuu »

Where's stan jablonski?

And what is stan jablonski

22 Years at polk avenue

Doing day one at hill street?

Let's be realistic.

Maybe three or four of you
have heard rumors.

Let me tell you one thing.

Stan jablonski never
cold-cocked no woman.

Okay?

That's it.

I mean, just ask yourselves,

If jablonski assaults
a female superior officer

Without adequate provocation,

Would he be standing here
before you now,

Or would he be up on charges?

In which case

What you could've been hearing

Be a lot of lies
and provocations

Spread by a troubled individual,

Who happens right now
to be on psychiatric leave,

In order to assassinate
jablonkski's 29-year career?

Okay.

Items...

Your new street sergeant,
sergeant b--

No, let's get it out
in the open once and for all,

And then it's quits with this.

The facts are...

After seven years
continual provocations

And non-stop slurs,

Lieutenant vera horvath

On jablonski's
second to last day
at polk avenue

And note, this is after
he had already put in

For his transfer,

Lieutenant vera horvath
calls him out

In front of
a total station house,

"Come on, jablonski,

Let's finally see
what you got."

"Lieutenant," says jab-o,

"No ifs, ands, or butts,"

But then who's out there in
front of the precinct house

Waiting for him
when he goes out

And steps in front of him--

- [Man laughing]
- ...when he tries
to walk around--

Hey, what's so funny
back there?

That's enough.

But this you can take
to the bank.

With jablonski, if we go,

We don't go marquis
of queensbury.

So yes, lieutenant horvath
initiated the contact,

And yes, I delivered her
one to the chops,

But no,
I never cold-cocked her.

Stan jablonski
never cold-cocked no woman.

Oh, my lord.
Heaven help us.

Got a little blood pressure.

Items...

Before our female contingency
gets all het up,

Sergeant bates is returning
to motor patrol duty

Of her own free will.

[Applause]

Filling the sergeant slot

Created by adding
the jefferson renewal

To the hill street precinct.

Riding with her is going to be
officer coe-ffey.

Coe-ffey?

Coffey.

Uh, coffey.

It's, uh, sector charlie.

- Item two...
- Going in, am I your partner
or your driver?

Partner.

...indian summer heat wave.
Says crime goes up
when it gets hot.

Item three, the man's
victim's pilot program

Includes hill street
as of today.

And we share counselor
with the other precinct.

Now, they catch cases
off the paperwork,

So it's extremely imperative

That copies of the 6-12 greens,

The 9-14 salmons

Get routed
to them through the--
through the khaki office.

Item four,

Operation free bag begins
operation this a.m.

Detectives belker,

Larue,

Washington,

They're going to be under cover

In our local five-star hotel,

The hotel stratford.

...keeps a room down there,
sarge.

The object is to lock up
the fences,

Hookers, junkies, etc.,

Who've made this place
the crime hub of north dekker,

Second possible object,

Close the whole toilet down.

Item five,

To all personnel,

From captain furillo,

As you know, convicted
r*pe-m*rder*r celestine grey

Is scheduled to be ex*cuted

Tomorrow evening.

Various lawyers
and investigators
representing him

May be making last minute
inquiries

Regarding matters of record
in this case.

Please be cooperative.

Flash. I got a note here.

Officer renko.

Yes, sir, that would be me,
sergeant.

I understand you could be
expecting to be
with child today.

[All cheering]

Okay!

All other units,
you be prepared
to back hill and renko up

Okay?

That's it.
Let's get out there.

Let's do it to them
before they do it to us.

[Chattering]

Hey! Hey! Hey!
Don't forget.

Stan jablonski
never cold-cocked no woman.

Hey, leo, did you do
something to your hair?

Maybe.

It's really great
you've lost all this weight.

Thanks.

But your hair looks like you
combed it with a tire pump.

Will you look at this?

"We, the undersigned,

"Approach this barbaric act

Of state m*rder--"
yadda, yadda, yadda,

"Including lieutenant
henry goldblume."

Now, you tell me
how a ranking officer--

Free speech, renko.

There's still a constitution.

Yeah, I'll tell you
what it constitutes.

It constitutes a lack
of virile plumbing

As far as I'm concerned.

Anybody else?

Go ahead, take a sh*t.

I have never expressed
interest in retirement.

Why do they send me
such a letter?

They must no longer consider me
promotable.

Mid-life career switch
is all the rage, right?

Maybe you'll catch the wave.

Detective garibaldi and mayo,

Robbery-as*ault in the vicinity
in the 2400 block of metro.

Vera, we're quits.

[Siren wailing]

[Dispatcher]
armed robbery in progress.

Eastern front door
corner people's drive...

[Siren wailing]

It's a mess.

What do we have?

Single assailant,
unknown to the victims,

Entered just after midnight

Through the bathroom window.

Terrorized them 6 3/4 hours,

Tied them up, ransacked,
made the wife watch

While he repeatedly assaulted
the male victim,

James parsons, age 73,
with a chair.

Then he sh*t him
in the neck and abdomen

Shortly before flight.

Also assaulted annie parsons,
age 72,

Wife of james.

We have any description?

Male caucasian,
5'7",

Dark blue or black pants,

Cut off sweatshirt,

20, Maybe 25.

Sounds like he was on dust.

Victim's going to make it?

Woman's got a bruised rib.
She'll be okay.

Husband's critical at mercy.

Looks like touch and go.

Through in the kitchen,
detective.

What about the fridge?

Nothing but prunes and stuff.

He's been here all night.

If he got hungry,
he touched all that stuff.

Okay.

Great way to start a day, huh?

Good work, patsy.

Thanks.

Captain.

Stan, welcome.

What's with the eye?

Oh, a little incident, captain.

Other one works just fine.

It's good to have you here.

On the senior as*ault,

Mercy says the b*llet got
the old guy's spine.

- Apb out?
- Plus the 45.

All right, as much manpower
as possible.

Authorize two detective units.
Keep me posted.

Yes, sir.

Frank, you seen the paper
this morning?

Damn right I did.

Interested in my side of it?

Henry, if you don't mind,

I'd like to have my own word
with this reporter first.

Frank, frank,
may I talk to you a minute?

You seen this paper, ray?

No, not yet.

I wanted to ask you
about this letter

I got from division.

"Anatomy of an execution--

"Celestine grey case
and its impact
on the people involved.

"Grey's execution date

"In the brutal r*pe-m*rder
of sister anna

"Was finally set
one week prior.

"The married couple

"Whose professional lives

"Have taken them to opposite
poles on the case

Furillo and his public
defender wife davenport
separated."

Now, how could he put
those two things together?

He hasn't talked
to either one of us.

I don't know, frank.

If I could talk with you
for a minute, please.

Excuse me one second,
would you please, ray?

Certainly, frank.

- Hi.
- Hi, frank.

Ray's gonna be picking up
my cases today.

- Who's that?
- New pd.

Don't eat him for lunch, okay?

I'm buried with last-minute
stuff on celestine.

Have you seen this?

I did.

That's cheap sh*t,
the stuff about us,
don't you think?

I guess maybe there was
a grain of truth in it.

Joyce, celestine grey isn't
the reason we separated.

No, he isn't.

3:00 This morning I couldn't
remember why we did.

What were you doing up?

Thinking about my client.

Missing you.

Wanna have dinner?

After tomorrow night.

Whenever.

After will be better, okay?

Funny, we've got people
working in three states,

A sh*t at the supreme court
today,

And I'm making all my plans
on the assumption

The poor bastard's
going to be gone.

- [Woman] stop! Stop!
- [Siren wails]

[Sgt. Bates]
the man with the cart!

[Woman]
stop right now! Stop!

- Whoa.
- Good day, officer.
Is there a problem?

What's all the ice for?

I'm having a party
for my mother.

It's her birthday.

So he empties my ice chest,

And then he goes past the
checkout doing about 30.

Did you pay for the ice?

What is ice?
Water. Right?

Do you pay for water
in a restaurant?

- What are you, crazy?
- All right.

Take it easy.
Now, tell me how much
you charge for the ice.

- 75 Cents a bag
- and it's melting
while we're talking here.

- Okay, 75 times--
- that'll be 20 bags here.

- Okay, two times 75--
- $15.

- I don't have the time.
- Hey, hey.

How much do you have?

$1.50.

All right, pay the lady.

Here, have a party.

Hey. Hey, wait a minute.
What if I want to press
charges?

Don't push it, lady, huh?

You wanna stand here?
It's gonna all melt.
All right?

The guy mentioned
the parsons assailant.

[Siren wailing]

Alley.

[Tires screech]

Suspect's headed northbound
freeland alley.

In pursuit.

Get up against the wall!

Move!

Hey, what are you doing, man?

Turn around.
Turn around.

Attempted m*rder.

Hey, I didn't m*rder anybody,
man.

[Siren wails]

Sometimes you get your
derelicts congregating in here

As opposed
to your welfare bums,

Which, by and large,
are your main trade.

Learn to know the difference
so you don't have to give them
the heave-ho.

- Okay.
- Your main proposition's
a simple proposition.

They plunk down
the nine bucks.

You give them a key, a towel,

Turn one of your
alarm clocks on,

Put it in a cubby hole.

When the alarm goes off,
you call them.

Anybody give you a hard time,

Don't mess around.

You got a carry permit?

Yeah, I used to be
a night watchman.

Okay. If tony had used this,
he wouldn't be dead

And you wouldn't have
this job.

Whack 'em across the nose
if you have to.

- You with me so far?
- Oh, yeah.

[Coughs]

[Growls]

- What was that?
- What?

That growl.
That was good.
I like that.

Do that again.

- [Growls]
- [growls]

Trying to tell you,

You got a dead corpse up
on the stairs there.

Where?

On the fourth floor.

Not again.

Dead.
Good-bye.

Grab his feet.

Why?

'Cause I said to.
That's why.

What are you doing?

You going to give me a hand
or what?

Mr. Rikers, you can't just
throw--

How many years you been running
this place anyways?

I'm not asking you to like it.

No, no, no, this--
this ain't right.

This is a dead junky.
Okay?

Not abraham lincoln.

A dead junky
in one of my rooms

With cops, medical examiners,

Is three hours out of my life,

Plus two days I lose the room.

Plus it hurts my status
with the welfare department.

A dead jump in the alley
is 20 minutes max.

This is the lesser
of two evils.

Kid, take my word, the fall
ain't gonna hurt him.

So nathan says we can
take these studs--

- [Crash, cat wails]
- hey. Hey!

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Let's see what you got here,
roland.

You have a death in the family?

Kind of in a hurry.
Okay?

Bill and a half, bro.

Two bills.
I need two.

Feel that.

That feel a little hot to you?

Ow.

Okay.

Bill and a half.
Now, let's go.

Okay, bro.

Cheer up, roland.
People are starving in europe.

Hey, you wanna be
on our mailing list?

Roland maxwell.
Stolen goods received.

I want to talk to a detective.

About what, ma'am?

Celestine grey didn't k*ll
that nun.

What did you say?

Some other dude
k*lled the nun.

Celestine was with me.

Would you come with me, ma'am,
please?

Thank you.

I was with celestine
that whole night.

Tamara, sister anna wasn't
m*rder*d at night.

It was morning.

All night and all morning.

Don't try no tricks on me.

What was your relationship
with celestine?

We lived together.

Why did you wait till now
to come forward?

Because we had a fight.

He stole from me,
and I was mad,

But I don't want him to die.

Tamara, are you also known
as taya collins?

What's that?

Taya collins, or taya conway.

Either one.

Taya.

Yeah, maybe some peoples
on the street.

Why is that?

Because taya collins

Told this same story

To assistant d.a. Bernstein

Before trial.

He didn't believe you

Because you were serving
a 90-day sentence

In the women's house
of detention

When sister anna d*ed.

I wasn't in jail then.

No way.

No, sir.

Well, why should one of them
live and the other one die?

That ain't fair.

No way that's fair.

You're all gonna live.

Why does celestine
got to die?

Can I help you, ma'am?

I'm looking for sergeant bates.

Sergeant bates
is back on the street.

I'm sergeant jablonski.

Oh, well, I'm with
the victims aid bureau.

Fay furillo.

Yes, ma'am, mrs. Furillo.

I got the memo right here.

You think you could show me
to a desk?

I see that you're going to be
splitting your time

With polk avenue.

That's correct.
Could i--

I don't know
whether you've been down
to polk avenue yet, ma'am,

But I just came from there,

And a person could hear
things about an individual there

That wouldn't necessarily
be true.

I don't want to go into it.

I just want to say
that in every situation

There's my story, her story,

And the truth.

My story's the truth.

So. Okay?

Okay.

Listen, really,
all I really wanna do

Is put these books
down on a desk.

Fay, hi,
we've been expecting you.

Hi.

I'll find that desk for you now,
mrs. Furillo.

Oh, thank you.

I understand you have friends
in high places.

Well, when the funding ran out
for the unwed mothers program,

The mayor was kind enough

To slide me right over here,
thank you very much.

Well, if anybody's qualified,

I'd say you are.

Couple of muggings,
three arrests.

That's not exactly
what I meant.

Captain, we've got
mrs. Parsons on the line
for you.

- Thanks.
- Listen, frank.

I thought long and hard
before taking this,

And there's one thing
I want to get straight,

Right from the start.

This job
is very important to me,

Not just because
it's a living,

But because I feel like I can
make a contribution as well.

But I want you to understand

That there is absolutely
no way on earth

That I am going to intrude
in your personal life.

Our paths don't even have
to cross.

I appreciate you saying that,
fay.

You know, the hill's been
waiting for this program
for five years,

And I think you're an excellent
choice for the job.

- Thank you.
- Welcome.

By the way, I read that piece
in the paper this morning.

How are things
between you two?

[Man]
turn to your left.

Turn back center.

Mrs. Parsons, can you identify
any of these men?

Can i--
can I hear them speak?

My client won't consent
to voice,

Not without a court order.

I-- I have cataracts.

I'm sorry.

Captain, what should I do
with the suspect?

Book him on possession
and check out his alibi.

Frank, how you doing?

Did joyce tell you?

Pd's office hired my agency

On celestine grey.

Don't get me wrong.
I think the guy's a stinker.

But work's work. Right?

The job's coming away, jerry.

I mean, the guy
doesn't deserve to live,

But it would be funny

If duke security service
saved it for him.

Wouldn't it, frank?

Very funny, jerry.
Excuse me.

Just a minute, mrs. Parsons.
Then we'll be out of here.

Okay, leo,
here's stolen goods a.

Junkie's name is phil.

Video tape a goes with it.

Here's b.
Name of roland maxwell,
video tape b.

From the hotel stratford?

- Mm-hm.
- They got a regular swap meet
going on over there.

Set of candleholders.

Lots of brass.

What's this here?

A medal of some kind.

It's a silver star
from world w*r ii.

- Let me see.
- Yeah?

My dad had a purple heart.

Excuse me, please.

What does it say?

Sorry?

What year?

1943.

Oh, may I see it, please?

Sure.

Patsy, wanna check this?

Find something?

It's james'.

This is james'.
Where did you get it?

Got it at the stratford.

That man took this
from my husband.

What's the deal?

Our robber assaulted parsons.

Look, if we get the books on,
you recognize this junky?

Piece of cake.
Roland maxwell.

Yo, harry.
You pick him up, okay?

- We won't blow our cover.
- Yeah, no problem.

Someone please take me back
to the hospital.

We can do that, ma'am.

[Breathing exercises]

I don't know, bobby.

You can attend
all them breathing classes,

Read all them books
and magazines and pamphlets

Go to all them movies,
hear testimonials

From people talking
about this and that,

But it still turns out to be

Just the mama and the baby
doing all the work.

You're a big part of it, though.
Right?

I mean, you're the coach.

Coach. Yeah, but on the day
of the big game,

It's the players gotta go out
and kick butt.

Us coaches,
we just sort of walk
the sidelines of life.

You'll do fine.

Yeah.

Bobby, I don't know
if you're aware of this,

But there is a certain point

During the birthing process

When it becomes
incredibly messy.

- Ooh.
- [Horn honks]

I got the warrant.
Let's go.

- Hold it right there!
- What the hell are
you doing here?

We have a warrant
for your arrest.

Attempted m*rder.

- Shut up--
- hey, pal!

Mirandize him.

Hey, what's in here?

You have the right
to remain silent.

If you give up the right
to remain silent--

Hey, maxwell!

Hey, pal.

[Chattering]

Jesse.

- We got him?
- We got him.

Ten bucks says
this did the old man.

Bobby, we're going to need
forensics.

Harry, this looks like
a connecting door.

So what?

Well, it's kind of empty
in here. Isn't it?

It looks like it may be
a different apartment.

Hey, max where does
your apartment end?

- This your apartment?
- I wanna see my lawyer.

- Is this your apartment.
- I wanna see my lawyer.

Wants to see his lawyer.

You know what I'm saying?

May just have an access.

Maybe it's another--

514. Warrant specify
the apartment number?

515. Damn it.

Couldn't use the g*n in this.

No, now, if right now
I pick up the g*n

And I kick it into 515.

Brilliant, harry.

That's perjury plus he saw us,
mr. Legal beagle.

We had a misunderstanding
earlier.

What's that?

The article in the paper.

I thought you meant
me and joyce.

Oh, no, the petition
on celestine.

I signed it
henry goldblume, frank.

I didn't put lieutenant down.

- Who did?
- Ben signed me up.

Obviously I didn't expect him
to exploit it.

I'd say that was
pretty naive of you.

You getting heat
from downtown?

Not yet but I will.

You'll get a reprimand,
and that's appropriate.

Why?

Because it's out of policy,
henry.

Because it makes it look

As if the cops who didn't
sign the petition

Are in favor
of capital punishment.

Nobody's persuaded me
the death penalty's

Any kind of civilized
innovation,

But I don't figure my badge
is there to prop up
personal opinions

Or to make political statements.

It's not a muzzle either.

It's not a muzzle,

And it's not a megaphone.

Right. Right.

Captain. Just got ballistics
on maxwell's g*n.

It's a definite match
of the b*llet
that sh*t james parsons.

Can't use it.

What if we can prove
we'd have found the g*n anyway
without a warrant?

How?

I mean, good.
Go ahead and try.

Where do we stand
without the w*apon?

We got the goods that maxwell
sold to washington.

S.i.d.'S over
at maxwell's apartment.

They're going through
everything looking for fibers.

Testing for g*nsh*t residue

Off maxwell's hand.

That's a lot,
but I don't like our chances.

What's the husband's
condition?

Critical. Still unconscious.

All right, let's ride herd
on s.i.d.

Get hold of erwin bernstein.

Make application
for a voice line up.

Right. I got it.

Excuse me, captain.

A reporter asking for you.

Says you called him.
Stu henley?

Would you ask him to wait in
line-up, please?

Yes, sir.

I'm really sorry about this.

It's all right.
Just file it under...

It's not a perfect world.

This guy should go away.

You may get him there yet.

Excuse me.

Mercy called.

Parsons is lousy,
but he's conscious.

Let's get a photo array
over there.

If you didn't talk
to her directly,

Where did you get the idea
that our separation

Had anything to do
with this case?

Captain, forgive me.

I didn't suggest
any direct connection.

It was purely
a statement of facts

About two people
who stood on opposite sides.

Purely none
of your damn business.

Are you saying that a cop

Whose wife
in an adversarial position

Doesn't have to cope with
a hell of a lot of problems

Other cops don't have?

No, mr. Hanley,
I'm not saying that.

What I'm saying is--
what I'm asking

Is that my personal life

Not be speculated on
by you or anybody else

For the purpose
of selling newspapers.

All due respect, captain,

I use that as a criterion

Every time I sit down
to write a story,

- I can't do my job.
- What criterion?

Whether what I write
is going to impinge on
somebody's personal life.

Captain, my apology
for any contextual inaccuracies
in the story,

But I really think
you've over-reacted.

Excuse me.

[Woman on p.a.]
Scott peterman, report
to ophthalmology.

Dr. Scott peterman.

Mrs. Parsons?

He's gone.

James is gone.

I'm so sorry.

It-- it's better.

He would've been a cr*pple.

James could not live
like that.

[Sobbing]
so really it-- it's better.

Don't you think so?

[Sobbing]
oh, god.

[Siren wailing]

Listen, baby.

Show that little man
what a loser he is.

You jump it.

Yeah, look at your wife jump.

Around your legs.
Jump it over the rope.

Come on, just like that.

Jump it.

Folks all right?

They took our car.

They took our luggage.

They took all of our money.

Those kids.

No, other ones.

They took everything.

We were looking
for the civic center.

We got off on
the wrong interstate exit.

We stopped to ask directions.

They just pushed us
out of the car and drove away.

Why don't we just get
in the car and get out of here?

What kind of car was it?

Gee, it was a rental.
I-i really can't remember

The license number--
it uh, was metallic blue.

It was gray!

We're from out of town.

We figured that.

Never, never again.

- Dispatch.
- Never again will I take
a policeman for granted.

- Amen. Amen to that.
- ...a gray, late-model sedan.

- You copy?
- Hey, uh, I'm dave fimpel.

- And this is my wife, sara.
- How are you?

You know, the criminal
elements up here

Really are carnivorous
on folks like you.

She means you look a little
out of your natural habitat,

- So to speak.
- Oh! Yeah.

We're from rochester, new york.
We're on our way back home

From the in-laws in phoenix.

Dave, what are we gonna do?
We don't have any money.

I don't know. Don't worry
about it, sweetheart.

I'll call dennis.
He'll wire us some
first thing in the morning.

And in the meantime?
All we've got is
the clothes on our backs!

That's no problem, ma'am.
We have a victim's aid program.

They'll put you up for the night
and give you meal money.

[Dispatcher] assist in pursuit
of truck license inx 478,

Vicinity of 125th and dekker,
reported stolen at this time.

Yeah, victor '03 responding.

Look at that! Somebody
stole an ice cream truck.

Hang on!

[Siren warbling]

- All right?
- Oh, sure. Fine. No problem.

It's fine.

- Get out of the truck!
- Get out.

- Don't look back at me.
- We said, get out of
the truck, now!

What seems to be
the trouble, officer?

Hey, it's the nut ball
with the ice.

This is a mistake. We could
talk about it later, i--

- On top!
- Ow! Ow.

Positive for a stolen truck,
I'm putting you under arrest
for suspicion.

Bobby, where are we going
to get some nice...

- Popsicles?
- All right, yeah.

[Screams]
stop!

- [Strangled cry]
- hey, listen, jerko.
If you try that again, man,

Then your ice is gonna
melt fast! You got that?

It's not enough, is it?
No, the power's gotta go out,

The ice has gotta melt,
and if mother hasn't had
enough excitement for one day--

- Is that the idea?
- What's he talking about?

He's nuts.
Put him in their unit.

Please! Please, please. No!
You want criminals?

You want a criminal?
15 Bars slam on the criminal.

He's the criminal!
Failing to pay the electric!

[Laughs]
you think this was an accident?

He never liked my mother.
Never!

Never was civil to her,
not in ten years!

What flavors do I get to see?

You don't understand,
is this fair, guys?

Open it up, renko.

- [Whimpering]
- anybody want some momsicle?

- Oh, my god!
- [Beeping]

Billy?

- I'm going to reach ellen.
- All right, you go
take care of her.

I'll catch a ride with coffey.

Control yourself.
Get your hands up front!

Hey, how goes
the third world rat race?

I don't know, howard.

What do you say to a woman
whose husband's m*rder*d

After 40 years of marriage?

I know she's dead!
Do you think I'm crazy?

The key to cryogenics is
freezing the physical body

Until the cure is found
for the cause of death.

- She had a crushed skull.
- Of course, you idiot.

That's because I hit her
with a skillet.

- Give you miranda, roland?
- I'm waiting for my lawyer.

You'll get your lawyer.
They get backed up.

- Usually takes about an hour.
- So fade away.

Paul, you don't understand
about the miranda ruling.

Miranda just means
you don't have to talk to me.

Doesn't mean
I can't talk to you.

You can't ask
me questions, dig?

Who's asking questions?
I'm just discussing
current events here.

Like, for instance, uh--

Did you know
that james parsons d*ed?

Have you seen this headline?
"Nun-slayer dies tomorrow".

"Tomorrow, celestine gray,
a 22-year old high school
dropout,

"Convicted last summer
of the r*pe and m*rder
of a roman catholic nun,

"Will be the 4th execution
in the state since august 1983.

"There are now 25 men and
one woman on death row

In the state, all convicted
of first-degree m*rder."

No plea bargain.
By choice, I suppose.

"And gray has two previous
felony convictions."

-That's fewer than you, roland.
- Okay. Shut your face!

I'm just discussing
current events.

Ever see a man die
in the chair, harry?

- No, sir. I never have.
- It's horrible.

It's like the dark ages.
I mean, they shave your head--

Strap you in.
All those wires...

Attached to electrodes
attached to your legs.

And your temples.

They say when the first jolt
hits, your muscles bulge.

The hairs on your arms
get singed--

Terrible, acrid smell.

They say you don't feel it for
very long. I don't know, though.

[Pounds desk]

You m*rder*d him, roland,
and we can prove it, easy.

How is that?

With forensics.
And the stolen medal.

And your description,
and the clothes that we found
in your apartment.

And when mrs. Parsons
hears your voice.

And why are you driving me,
then?

Because the honest-to-god truth
here is, roland,

That I'm against
capital punishment.

You have an hour in which
to confess, or there
will be no pleas.

Then you're gonna die
by electrocution,

Strapped in,
just like celestine gray.

[Door opens]

- Talk to my client?
- Sure. He's been great company.

But you better get him
a bag to breathe into.

Yeah, I understand. Sure, it's
the best we can do, isn't it?

Okay, thanks. Yeah. Bye-bye.

Well, dennis says hi.
The bank just closed,

But he's gonna wire us some
money at the telegraph office,

First thing in the morning.

Excellent. Things are
looking up already.

Now, we have
one little problem.

No biggie.
It's just that the optic
convention's in town,

And-- well, I'm sure we can
find some place with a vacancy.

Miss furillo. You see
that guy sitting over there?

He had his mother
frozen in an ice cream truck.

She was dead as a mackerel.

Captain, uh, can you
spare a minute?

Sure. Come right in, stan.

Sit down.

- How's it going?
- Good.

Busy.

A whole lot to like, and a few
things I'd like to change.

Just make the squad room yours.

I appreciate that vote
of confidence, captain.

Which makes this morning's...
Little situation...

All the more embarrassing.

I'm just gonna say this once.

What happened this morning,
which, thank god
for small favors,

You weren't here to see,
is one of the all-time
embarrassments of my life.

I don't believe in
bringing the personal life
into the squad room,

And I'll tell you the truth,
captain, I'm 54 years old,

I got a personal life
that would bore the crap
out of a turtle.

I guarantee ya,
it won't happen again.

That's good, stan, because,
to tell you the truth,

I think we have enough
action up here as it is.

Imagine, sir.
Imagine a woman...

Wanting to take it outside
like this?

I'm not proud of it,
but god help me, I think

It's finally quits between us.

Good. It's good, stan.

You know, it's a tragedy.

When an otherwise normal
person, in this case,

This vera, who, believe me,
I don't even like to credit

By using their name,
when they can't control

The simplest human emotion.

The day my wife d*ed,
my health--

God rest her beloved soul--
I controlled myself

Better than this person.

Not to mention the day
I cut off blackie's leg

And believe me, that was
no tea party, neither.

Ah. Anyway, rest assured,
captain,

You got nothing to worry about.
This squad room's gonna tick
along,

Just like a watch.
Good night, sir.

Uh, stan, uh--
ten more seconds? Please?

Yes, sir?

You said something
about blackie.

Yes, sir. My dog.

Did I correctly understand
you to say that you...

Cut off his leg?

Freak accident, sir.

I was trimmin' the hedge
in the back yard?

And the phone rings. And
I turn away for two seconds--

Blackie happens to lean in,

And he lifts his leg
to do his business--

[Snaps fingers]

Thank god it was
a clean cut, sir.

- Gee, I'm sorry.
- Oh. Couple of years,

The pooch is hopping around
like it's nothing.

Imagine, sir.
The second it happens,

He looks up at me
with those big, brown eyes,

- And he forgives me.
- Man's best friend.

That's right.
I cut off his leg,

He tells me he loves me.

Then there's
this mutt of a broad--

[Knocking]

Pardon my french, ma'am.

Roland maxwell is in the process
of giving a full statement.

Really?

After a fairly fancy
interrogation, I take it.

No need for flattery, counselor.
Just ordinary cleverness.

At the expense of my assistant.

Come on, joyce. Spare me
the beautiful defender

Telling the police captain
he's "way outta line."

It's old. It's been playing
so long, I know it by heart.

- Nice. The cop speaketh.
- It's what I am.

You know you coerced
that confession.

You could lose it.

I'll take my chances.

[Banging on door]

Oh, hold up there.
You the gentlemen in room 306?

- Who's askin'?
- Nat rikers. I manage the dump.

Yahoo.

Hang on, it ain't so bad.

Yeah, I been in worse.

Yeah, listen.
Mind if I ask you a question?

Not at all.

So, what are you guys doin'
with business on the premises?

Like what?

Come on, come on.
You're doin' stolen goods.

Word has it you got
a serious bankroll.

- So?
- Well, I'm only sayin' this
'cause I hear things.

Which could be of mutually
beneficial interest.

What kind of things,
mr. Rikers?

Depending on your level
of interest,

Certain things-- which I don't
know if you're into--

I don't know the scale
of your operations.

We don't have to
mince words, rikers,

You're talking smack,
soda? What?

'Cause if you got
a buck to turn here,

- We can mobilize.
- Yeah?

- Speak.
- I got some friends
had an arrangement,

And the buyer fell out-- they
got four keys bolivian pink.

- What do they need?
- Hundred, hundred
and a quarter.

Pocket change.
Your people anxious to move,
we'll do it tomorrow.

- You make the introductions?
- I'll do that.

- What's your action, chief?
- Standard ten percent.

- Out of their end.
- Yeah.

This is good. Mike. 306.

Make sure these guys get plenty
of clean towels and stuff.

- More ashtrays.
- [Coughs]

Hey. Hey, baby. I said,
you got yourself a boy.
Not a girl.

Can't you tell
the difference, honey? Hmm?

Honey, shut yo' face.
Do you understand me?

Just so you know what
you're gettin' into, sugar.

- See?
- You like that?

- Did you like that?
- [Screaming]

You little nothin'!
You little nothin'--

- I'll cut you! You know that?
- Get him off!

Get up! Up, up, up
on your feet!

Okay! Which one of
these two individuals
are you in love with?

Thanks for nothing!

Well, uh, here we are.

Oh. This is nice.

Very nice.

- Frank?
- Oh, ray. Did you get
the buy money

- From larue in washington?
- Yes. I want to go out
from that operation.

- On larue's and washington's?
- They need a south american
money man.

Larue and washington
need me.

Please, frank.

All right. Check with henry
on assignments.

We'll see if you fit
the profile in the morning.

Good.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I hear roland maxwell
confessed.

And we scared him.

Eight guys out of ten
would have laughed in my face.

Maybe. Anyway, thanks.

I felt really bad about
screwing up the warrant.

You didn't screw up the warrant.

My mind tells me that.

My heart says, "patsy,
if that guy had walked--"

- You what? Quit?
- Definitely.

I've been watching you
for six weeks.

Case by case, I'd say
you're somewhere between
"good" and "great."

- Okay?
- Been watching you
for six weeks too.

Oh, that sounds real bad.
[Embarrassed laugh]

Okay, let me start over.

Uh, captain, the other day,
when you helped me
get my car started--

-Did you ever get jumper cables?
-Not yet.

Get jumper cables.

I mean, I'm telling you, really.
That or a new battery.

Promise. I will.

What I was coming to was...

I know it's against
all the unwritten rules,

It's certainly against mayo
personal code 376-b,

But um, you were so nice.

And it seemed like that wasn't
exactly in a business context.

And so um...

Would you like to have
dinner with me sometime?

Yes.

[Shouting]

All right!
I got an announcement.
I got a general announcement.

Announcing the arrival
of laurie ann renko,

- Seven pounds, four ounces!
- [Cheering]

She was given a slap by
a slightly misshapen man

On first appearance,
but she is happy,

And healthy,
and oh-so-beautiful,
just like her mama,

And I just fell on my face,
at the sight of a slight
fracture to my proboscis.

Looks like you busted
your honker, too.

I broke up
with a guy in july.

We were living together
three years.

Rough one?

- Yeah, pretty much.
- You don't know what happens
between two people.

Joyce said once, "loving
each other is no guarantee

That you're going
to make each other happy."

- She's right, you know?
- [Whispering] thank you.

I think part of it's that
I wanted the marriage
more than she did.

Pushed a little.
Probably she resented it.

- Felt I was holding her down.
- Were you?

I don't know. I think
she thinks I was.

You lonely?

It's been four months.

Think I've made a lot
of mistakes here already.

But I look at you
and I see a man that's
too hard on himself.

On one shoulder's
this good angel.

And on the other's
an even better one.

St. Francis of furillo?

Do you want to give
your angels a night off?

Meaning?

What I mean.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I thought I was better
at reading men.

You didn't misread me.

It's just that what I feel
and what I do about my feelings

Are two different things.

I'm a married man.

- Separated.
- I'm a separated married man.

Who hopes to be
back with his wife.

She must have
a lot of power.

She has. I used to think
that robbed me of my own.

But it doesn't.

Maybe that's what I've learned
in the last four months.

Gonna screw up
our relationship?

Not for me.

I think you're special.

I think that personally and
I think that professionally.

[Trains passing]

One kiss? So we both know
what we're missing?

[Starter grinding]

We've got field investigators
working,

And we filed
last-minute petitions
with the u.s. Supreme court,

And the state supreme court,

And we have a personal
appeal to the governor.

What about the president?
What could he do?

Nothing. The president's
not part of it.

Well maybe you can
try him, at least!

Celestine, on plea,
that's uh...

He's federal. This is state.

[Gasping for air]

Tamar try that thing
with the cops yet?

She did come in.
Just like she came to me.

Remember when I filed
that whole petition?

Nothin', huh?

A lie's a lie, celestine.

What about that other...
What I asked you for?

I'm told they give you
valium here.

Yeah, what? Ten milligrams?

Ten milligrams, I couldn't
get my thumb to sleep
if I was sitting on it!

I'll try.

See you tomorrow, celestine.

You just walk home?

You just walk?
Think I'm going to sleep?

Think what I got
to do tonight!

They gonna fry me, lady.

You know what that means.

They're gonna plug me in!

- Try to get some sleep.
- Why?

[Telephone rings]

- Hello?
- Frank?

I'm sorry, I know it's late.

It's okay. Are you all right?

I'm just leaving harrisville.

It would take about an hour,
but could I come over?

Sure. I'd like that.

See you in a bit.

[Mews]
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