05x03 - f*ring Line

[bunniefuu]

And so the trial of the
legendary A-Team is finally over,

ending perhaps the final
chapter of a bygone era

of the Vietnam legacy of Presidents
Kennedy, Johnson and Nixon.

Colonel John Smith, Lieutenant Templeton
Peck and Sergeant B.A. Baracus,

found guilty on all counts.

All that remains is for their
execution to be administered.

Perfect.

Parade, halt!

Right face!

Ready!

Any last requests?

My favorite year.

Present!

Hey, hey. Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. I didn't even get to drink it.

- Aim!
- Oh, wait. Come on.

Come on, what's the point of a
last request if you don't get it?

I didn't even get
her phone number.

No, no, no. Hannibal!

See you in the swamp,
Lieutenant.

Fire!

How'd you sleep?

Like I didn't have
a care in the world.

Patient's escaped!

How could he?

Oh, he was so upset
about his friends,

I even had him
put in restraints.

What's up, Doc?

Able Four to Empress One.
The fox is in the henhouse.

Freeze! You have
illegally broken and entered this domicile

which is actually
a covert CIA operation.

For security reasons

you are to empty the contents
of your pockets on the floor

and back out of the apartment...

Murdock! What are you doing
here, huh? Where you been?

You know, I like
your doorbell setup.

You really expect people
to fall for that?

Most people do.

And what is this with "empty your
pockets"? I mean, what're you doing?

Shaking down guys as they're
breaking into your apartment?

Well, you see, I always got to
replace that door molding, you know.

You take a sh*t like that,
breaking into someone's abode,

you get what you get.

I've been to the hospital three times
looking for you. Where you been?

Well, I figured that there was somebody
else looking for me besides you.

You ain't talking
without substance.

You know, that guy Stockwell's people
been calling here and asking for you.

I got to help my guys.

And I figure I only got about 12 hours,
and I'm not gonna be able to do it alone.

Let me guess who
you got in mind?

You could say no.

But you won't like it.

No. But I'd understand.

Hey, you and me,
we're invincible.

Together, we can handle
anything. All right?

- Thanks.
- Come on.

Freeze!

Just about.

Ain't it the truth?

Okay, sport,
welcome to the barrio.

Mrs. Manicotti, open up!

Yo, Mrs. Man...

Going down?

I told them how to fix
this just last week.

Able Four and Able
Six should've been back by now.

Maybe they're still trying
to contain the matter

or just stopped off
for a call of nature.

Then they don't
belong in my unit.

We're sorry. Really, we really
are. We didn't mean to interrupt.

And don't be concerned.
His partner will check in

as soon as he checks out
of county emergency.

Very good, Captain. You managed
to evade and then apprehend

two class eight operatives
in spite of your craziness.

Or perhaps because of it.

Well, how do you do?

Frankie Santana,
we've met once before,

at your service and available for
dinner Tuesdays and Thursdays.

What brings you here, Captain?
Certainly not my men.

Why come of your own accord?

Because I don't like wearing
somebody else's straitjacket.

Besides, we have
something in common.

We both want the A-Team
alive and well.

Why would I want that?

You know, all of my psychiatric
training has taught me

that why you want the A-Team
alive and well is unimportant.

The important thing is you
want the A-Team alive and well,

which means if they're dead,
they're no good.

Now, you allowed them to go out
there in front of that jury,

knowing full well that they
were gonna be convicted.

And you sent them after Curtis knowing
full well he was gonna put them

right at the scene
of Morrison's m*rder.

Now, you have very neatly and
specifically lined us up and then...

We've all fallen into place
exactly where we are.

Whoever judged you insane, Captain,
should have his license lifted.

You are going to help
me spring my friends.

Barrier lsland, about 30 miles
off the California coast.

It was once a US m*llitary
installation, not unlike San Clemente.

The land is basically
rock and shrub,

no indications
of soft terrain or soil.

Looks like somebody did a pretty
good job at researching this stuff.

There is a reef
on the northern shore

and there is no actual beach
or natural landing facilities

except for a manmade
wooden piling, here.

The execution that is scheduled
for tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.

will take place here.

The f*ring squad,
led by Captain Underwood

and consisting of eight
sharpshooters, will be positioned here.

The prisoners are kept
in a large single cell.

The only access is
through this doorway.

The barracks have been
reinforced with corrugated steel.

The only vessels that are
permitted to approach the island

must first be announced
by radio from Fort Owen.

Any and all other vessels will be warned
and fired upon if they attempt to land.

As you can see, Captain, escape, or
rather, rescue is virtually impossible.

They'll be expecting you.

But not you.

I would say not.

Since, to them, I do not exist.

No, no, no, I'm gonna need
you to pull some strings.

You're gonna have to help.

I just gave it to you.
Don't get greedy.

I'm not beyond doing anything
that's necessary to accomplish this.

Don't underestimate
me, Stockwell.

I obviously wouldn't.

Drop your arms and
move away from them,

or I shall release a fine gas
into your part of the cabin.

He's bluffing.
He's bluffing.

I'm telling you, he's bluffing.

- You think he's bluffing?
- No.

Me, either.

I never bluff, Mr. Santana.
I never need to.

Knockout gas, right?
Not poisonous. I mean,

we didn't do, like, stuff
that deserves poisonous gas.

I mean, we did, like,
knockout-gas kind of stuff. Right?

Take care of their removal.

And contact Captain Underwood.

Tell him I'm going to talk
to the prisoners in two hours.

- All of them?
- Yes.

I've no doubt that Colonel Smith
is already planning his escape.

And if he should be successful,

well, that wouldn't
do at all, would it?

Hello?

Frankie?

Where are we?

Forget us, where are my pants?

I got mine on.

Are my pants out there?

- I got...
- Hey, there's a bum.

He's got my pants.
Hey, you come back here.

Get over here.

I am not putting these on.

We can't screw around.

The guys are gonna be facing the
f*ring squad this morning in about...

My watch!

That bum, he stole my watch!

Oh, gee.

See, now, I have compassion
for a fellow robbee.

That's all right.

I took this from
Stockwell's folder.

Wait a minute, you filched that?

Yeah.

This is a list of everybody who
has clearance on the island.

Do you think it'll help?

It'll help.

Where's Smith?

Smith?

- Where is he?
- Oh, he moved to better accommodations.

Where's my sweet roll?

- Hurry up, Face.
- Give me a break, B.A., will you?

It took me all night to turn
this spoon into a lock pick.

I know I can do this. Give me a
couple more minutes here and...

We haven't got
a couple of minutes, Face.

Face, B.A., come on!

Come on!

Hannibal!

Hannibal, how's that plan coming
along for getting us out of here, huh?

I'm still
working out some kicks.

Hannibal!

I can't go get what
we need looking like this.

I gotta go home and change.

Home, home. You can't go home.
Stockwell's gonna have men there.

Why would he let us go
just to pick us up again?

I don't know why this guy's
done anything that he's done,

but we gotta minimize our risks.

We're gonna bust
the most notorious convicts

out of a hyper-security
installation.

How much more risk can there be?

You know, you better
get a move on.

We got less than
two hours, Frankie.

All right.

If I'm a little late, it's 'cause I
stopped off for a quick bottle of Sterno.

Bless me, Father,
for I am about to sin.

We don't want any.

Man, what you want? We ain't
got nothing to say to you.

I have a proposition for you.

The way other investments
that he's suggested have turned out,

how could we refuse?

Colonel, it wouldn't
hurt to listen.

Get out of here.

You make fewer mistakes than
anyone I've ever come across

with the exception of myself.

Don't make one
at this stage of the game.

We're finished with
unending manipulation.

It ends here, Colonel.

There's no place else to go.

That's why I have a final
offer. And it's good.

You know it's good, because
what else have I to gain?

You want us to join the outfit?

I haven't spent so much
time watching you

to try to force three
very square pegs

into tiny round holes.

You don't join anybody,
and nobody joins you.

What I'm offering
is an alliance.

You and me.

The bottom line is now that you'll be
higher on the wanted list than before.

You won't be sought for some
embarrassing incident during the w*r.

You are convicted murderers now.

A manhunt, as you knew it,

will be increased
to the tenth power.

You can't escape that kind
of concentrated effort,

and I don't doubt that you will
be in a sh*t-on-sight status.

But I can offer you an out.

I'm a little old to change
profession, Stockwell.

Just a limited partnership.

I'd say a certain number
of missions specified,

somewhat marginal occupations,

and for this,

you'll be given a full pardon.

Wait a minute.

A full pardon?

As in Presidential pardon?

I'm sure I know someone
who can reach the right people

or person.

A specified number of missions
and we're totally cleared.

We don't work for you
or the government anymore.

By then, you can work for the
local McDonald's for all I care.

But make no mistake.

These missions are obviously nothing
I can give to standard operatives.

You must realize
the possible consequences.

su1c1de missions?

Not all.

There you go.
"Not all."

Well, yeah, it sounds terrific.

Hey, man, why
should we trust you?

Because I give you my word.

I've not done that till now.

And like you, Colonel, I do
believe in some kind of honor

to make it all right.

Even if it is our
own particular brand.

How long do we have to let you
know? I mean, before you get us out?

Colonel, that's not part of
the deal. I can't get you out.

Say what?

Wait a minute. What do you mean
you can't get us out of here?

Well, I could not assist
three federal prisoners,

convicted of m*rder,
in escaping.

Contact me upon your successful
evasion of your current situation.

Then we have a deal.

But you must escape on your own.

Guard!

Oh, how the hell are we
gonna escape on our own?

We got one whole card left.

Murdock.

Murdock!

Murdock.

Ready!

Aim!

Come on, B.A., let's go!

Wait for me!
Wait for me, Murdock!

Wait for me! You promise to be my
bestest buddy in the whole world?

I promise!

And never, never
call me fool again?

Never again! Cross my heart
and hope to die!

And to get a pilot's license and
to share my apartment with me?

No! No!

Come on, two swinging singles
sharing a giant-screen TV!

sh**t! sh**t! sh**t!

sh**t.

If Murdock gets us out of this,

as far as I'm concerned, he can have
anything he wants as long as I live.

I don't know.
I gotta think about this.

That's the launch arriving now.
Had to pick someone else up.

This must be visitors' day,
Captain.

Father Stellini to administer
last rites and offer absolution.

B.A., what are you gonna
have for your last meal?

What?

Your last meal.

See, I'm trying to figure out what
I'm gonna have, and I thought...

Man, you're crazy. You staring
to sound just like Murdock.

I ain't having no last meal.

Well, you have to
have a last meal.

It's tradition.

See, I'm wondering if maybe I
should have something I really love,

or maybe it'd be better to have
something I've never tried before.

You can have whatever
you want and mine, too.

I ain't having no last meal.

Oh, then you realize, of course,
that the last meal you had

will end up being
your last meal.

He's got a point there, B.A.

Instead of agreeing
with him, Hannibal,

you're supposed to be
coming up with a plan

that don't include us
to have a last meal.

I'm working on it.

Good.

But you might give some
thought to an appetizer.

Might I suggest the Dover sole
with lemon butter and capers?

Marie Antoinette swore by it.

I don't believe it.

You are forgiven.

We haven't got much time.

Put your hands away from
your body and don't move.

Then how do I get my hands
away from my body?

Seven days a week, 365 days...

No, I don't profess
to be a psychiatrist.

And if you don't get through,
that just means that you won't

get the opportunity to try...
- I'll send him ashore right away.

...without any obligation
whatsoever to anybody else...

Let's go, Mr. Murdock.

You're going back
to the VA hospital.

How did you know that Father
Stellini was no longer inhabiting

this itty-bitty body?

Because, luckily, the cleaning
lady forgot her glasses

and returned to the rectory to
find Father Stellini in the bathroom

where you locked him with a
neat little bump on his noggin.

I believe it was right here.
See, it was right here.

I believe... The launch has
arrived, sir, with Father Stellini.

Fine. That shouldn't
take more than an hour.

Murdock can go back
in the same boat.

I understand you
are a troubled man.

I forgive you.

Oh, Father...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Yes, it's all right, my son.

Sergeant, take Father
Stellini to the prisoners.

Bless you.

- Let him stay with him.
- Bless you. Bless you.

Captain Underwood
told me to stay with you.

These men are very sharp.

Obviously not that sharp,

or you and I wouldn't have
jobs this morning.

Just a little black humor.

What happened to Murdock?

He's back there shuffling
a half deck for those guys.

He figured they'd be on the
lookout for some kind of move,

so we threw Murdock at them so
they wouldn't pay attention to me.

Murdock figured no one looks
for the old double frammus.

It's a movie blood packet.

Now, you can't mess with protection
under there, so when it goes off

it may burn a little, so bite
your tongue after you swallow this.

But don't do that until
just before they fire.

Frankie,

even if this doesn't
work, thanks.

Save it.
It'll work, my son.

Good morning, Padre.
How you doing?

As well as one can
under the circumstances.

Are these the instruments
to be used?

Yeah, they have to be loaded.

The men don't load
their own weapons?

Not for an execution. You see,
not all the rounds are live.

So no one actually knows who does
or does not fire the k*lling sh*ts.

How humane.

Sergeant, do you
have an extra smoke?

Oh, sure, Padre.

All I have is these cancer
sticks without filters,

but I figure if you
gotta go for it,

then why not go with gusto?

Ain't it the truth?

Damn. Sorry, I mean...

Oh, that's all right. We're all
a little nervous this morning.

I have more matches.

I'll be right back.
Gil should have some.

Have you seen Father Stellini?

Yes, sir, he's in here with me.

Well, let's get in gear,
Sergeant.

We're not running
a tour service,

we're executing the prisoners
this morning.

Yes, sir. I was looking for
some matches for the Father.

Father, your light.

Oh, yes. Of course, right.

Time to be going, Father.
I don't wish to run behind.

I'm sure the prisoners
wouldn't mind if you did.

Bless you.

Did you make the switch okay?

What'll sound better,
"I think" or "I hope"?

Pursuant to the findings
of the general court-martial

convened at Fort Owen,
California on 18 August, 1986,

and having been found guilty
of the charge of m*rder

and all specifications thereto,

and having been approved
by the Convening Authority,

the sentence of death
by f*ring squad

to be imposed on John Smith,
Colonel, US Army,

Templeton Peck,
First Lieutenant, US Army

and B.A. Baracus,
Sergeant, US Army,

is hereby ordered to take place at the
United States Army Correctional Facility

at Barrier lsland, California.

Present!

Aim!

Fire!

Respiration and heartbeat
are stabilized.

They're actually
starting to come to.

Just like I dreamed it would be.

- Welcome, Lieutenant.
- Oh, no.

They sent me downstairs,
didn't they?

Don't be alarmed about
your disorientation.

It's just the side effects
from the drug that you swallowed

and having your respiratory
system depressed.

Ah.

B.A., B.A., B.A.

It's good to see you here.

Murdock, I never thought
I'd be glad to see you.

- Hannibal.
- All right, Captain.

It's good to see you.

You handsome devil, you.

Oh, no, that's all
right, that's all right.

- Looking good, kid.
- So are you.

Didn't gain any weight, huh?

Shall we, gentlemen?

I'm sure you're interested in
seeing your new home, settling in.

And where is that?

How would the rolling green
landscape of Virginia sound?

Virgin... As in CIA?

I believe certain portions
of the intelligence

and espionage community
are located there,

but it's also centrally
located for me and my schedule.

Virginia? That's so far away.

B.A. and I,
we just got back together.

Maybe you and I, we can get
out and visit them sometime.

I'm gonna miss you guys.

Why should you do that?

You're joining us,
Mr. Santana.

Who me? No, no, no.

I got three studios offering
me jobs this week alone.

I gotta get back
in the mainstream.

Well, I don't think that's wise,

considering you're now
on the 10 most wanted list.

What?

Well, you aided and abetted three
convicted murderers in their escape.

Well, that was the whole
beauty of the plan.

They're not escaped.
They're dead.

Their bodies are gonna be buried
at Forest Lawn. Right? Right?

Say I'm right.
I'm right, right?

That's just a story we used
to pick up the bodies,

and there are no
official papers.

And as soon as they find that the
bodies are missing from the morgue,

someone is going to realize that this is
just another of those wildly improbable

A-Team escapes, with the
assistance of a pseudo-priest.

Played with high style,
I might add.

I never bargained for this.

Hey, I cannot go on the lam.

I got a beautiful home,
career, family, neighbors.

Your career is on
the skids, Santana.

But because of your help,

we're going to take care of your
father's medical needs, et cetera.

It'll just be for a
little while, Frankie.

Yeah.

Shall we? We can take
my limo to the plane.

Not me. I don't fly.

Well, I'm sure we can
work something out.

Gentlemen, let's
adjourn for a toast

while we discuss B.A.'s
alternative travel arrangements.

Carla, return the vehicles and take
care of that other little matter.

Okay, tell me about the light.

I don't wanna hear it,
Murdock! I ain't see no light!

There has to be a light.
There's always a light.

There are thousands of documented
cases of a tunnel and a light.

And you are one of the few who
have been there and come back.

I ain't been nowhere.
I wasn't dead.

I mean, to have
returned to the living

after having been
touched by the light.

You're the one
who's touched, fool!

You promised never
to call me that again.

Did not! Did, too. Crossed
your heart, hoped to die.

How could you know about that?

You can't know about that.

You know, General, you could've
let B.A. sleep a little longer.

It's not that bad, Frank.

I mean... Look, we've been on
the wanted list for 10 years.

Believe me,
hasn't been all that bad.

You were almost ex*cuted.

Yeah, well. I mean, you have
your good days and your bad days.

Try this tranquilizer
g*n on B.A.

There are some side effects,
but a good deal gentler

than some of your past methods.

Now, as soon as Carla
returns, we can get started.

Gentlemen, shall we make use
of my very well stocked bar?

Why would I drink with you?

Oh, come, Colonel Smith.
Hannibal.

We're going to work together.

I should make things
as pleasant as possible.

I can be very accommodating
if you do things my way.

You've been very accommodating
all along, Stockwell.

To yourself.

This entire nightmare
is a result of you

sending us after a certain man.

Curtis.

Who conveniently fingered us
for the m*rder.

And being the prime
witness in the case

could have cleared us,
except somebody m*rder*d him.

Did you want me to explain?

I'm waiting for something.

Oh.

Well, my best guess scenario
is that your Captain Josh Curtis

m*rder*d Morrison.

Why?

Well, perhaps he was
already involved

in g*n-running and the
black market in Vietnam.

Morrison found out,
had to be disposed of.

Now, as for Curtis,
as you remember

when you pulled him off
that h*jacked plane in Spain,

he was on his way to making an arms
shipment right here in California.

But with him on that plane
was a major buyer

and a middleman, Ramon Soulay.

Now as soon as he found out
that Curtis was arrested

and going to turn evidence,
he had to protect himself.

But by that time, Curtis had already
given him enough information.

As a matter of fact,
in just three hours,

Soulay is going to be
completing his business

right here at the
Saddleback Ranch.

That's the operation that
Carla is setting up right now.

That explains everything
from your point of view.

Check him out, Face, make sure he's
unconscious. That guy's too tricky.

What? What are you doing?

It all makes sense,
if Soulay k*lled Curtis.

You think Stockwell
could've done it?

Only Soulay knows for sure.

As soon as he talks to us, I'll feel
a lot better about this whole thing.

Wait, wait, wait. You mean, we're going
after these, like, super dangerous,

desperate, possible
murderous gunrunners?

We don't have to. I mean, we
could let Stockwell's men do it.

You can stay here if you want.

Yeah, well, I may
just do that, you know.

Not that I don't love you guys.
I mean, I think I proved that.

But, I don't wanna upset
the man, you know.

I mean, I could use
that pardon, capisce?

It's all there.

Well, what's new, Ramon?

You're the A-Team.
You're the A-Team.

Yeah, that's us, the A-Team.

Scary, ain't it?

We heard you k*lled Josh
Curtis, is that right?

Well, l...
I'll tell you what.

You got until I light
my cigar to answer.

Yeah, Curtis. Curtis...

You k*ll him?

Yeah. Yeah, I k*lled him.
I k*lled him.

Amazing how Stockwell's men are
nowhere to be found, isn't it?

Maybe we're Stockwell's men.

You're the A-Team.

I read you were k*lled.
You were k*lled this morning.

Well,

we're back.

Well, I thought you gentlemen

would be much more enamored
of your surroundings.

Well, it's not the accommodations,
General, it's the decor.

One-way mirrors, hidden cameras,

listening devices.
The joint is loaded.

Well, since we have a deal
and you're not going anyplace,

what do you care if I take
care of my investment?

Well, there's a kind
of bass-ackwards logic there.

What about principle?

Yeah, what about it?

Yeah, man. We don't like this
place. It's just like jail.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

Well, I have to agree
with him there. Hmm?

This is the truth of it.

Listen, I'll probably be getting
some time off for good behavior

and, well, just so
General Stockwell there

has me constantly
under close watch,

I thought perhaps you should
personally oversee my checking out

the local dining
and dancing facilities.

You know what I mean?

I'm sure something
can be worked out.

Ah, yes.

This is Able Nine.

Mr. Peck would like to be
driven through town.

Uh...

You don't really think you
can keep us here, do you?

Your security is
nothing but holes.

Holes?

Such as?

Wait and see.

I'm sure in time you'll see
it's better if you do things...

If you do it my way.

He does, he's got
a sense of humor.

Well, which one of you got the address
of this place out to Captain Murdock?

Oh, did he send you a postcard?

Not quite.

Hi, guys.

Hey, Murdock.

- What do you say?
- Captain Murdock!

You wanna give us
a kiss, B.A.?

How long are you out for, man?

Oh, as long as I want.

I'm officially released.

What?

I'm no longer insane.

I got my papers and everything.

The board reviewed my case
and they released me.

That hospital did
a terrific job.

They cured me of all
my psychiatric ills.

After more than a decade?

Well, the road to hope
is often pockmarked.

So are you.

I may be glad to see you,
but you're still crazy.

Hey, you can bunk here in me.

No, that's not the way it works,
Frankie. This is not a college dorm.

That's all right, guys.
Really, thanks a lot.

But I got my own place,
I've got my own pad.

I even... I even got a job.

Now, I gotta get out there
and pay the old rent

and put the butter
on the old biscuits.

What kind of job?

Working for the pound.

I'm scooping up

stray dogs that don't have a place to
hang their collar at night and everything.

Cute as a devil. I've got a
bunch of them right out front.

You wanna see?
You wanna see?

Nice, Murdock, nice.

Yeah.

Holes in security.

Indeed.