04x11 - The Doctor Is Out

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The A-Team". Aired: January 23, 1983 – March 8, 1987.
Four former members of a fictitious United States Army Special Forces team were tried by court martial for a crime they had not committed.
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04x11 - The Doctor Is Out

Post by bunniefuu »

And when he comes to, he's starts raving
about how his shrink has been kidnapped.

Where did you
take my father?

Well, if we're gonna talk to this guy
Stoddard, we've got quite a trip.

El Presidente's daughter?
You expect me to believe that?

I mean, if she says she's Richter's
daughter, then she's Richter's daughter.

My real name is Marisa.

I just don't know
what to believe anymore.

I'm with the CIA.

We're on our way out.
We're just kidding around.

I was just remembering the first
time lever tortured a guy.

Hey, sucker,
you gonna pay.

(male narrator) In ,
a crack commando unit...

was sent to prison
by a military court...

for a crime
they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped...

from a maximum-security

to the Los Angeles

Today, still wanted
by the government...

they survive
as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem,
if no one else can

and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire
the A-Team.

[g*n f*ring]

(Murdock) Running,
running, running...

but this thing keeps chomping
right at my butt every night.

And no matter how hard I squeeze Mr.

I'm still afraid
to go to sleep.

My problem is that everything
I dream comes true.

Now, if you were me,
wouldn't you be terrified...

to put your head down?

Yes, but only if it was
a bad dream.


Bad? You wanna talk bad?

Well, let's talk
last night.

I had a nightmare.

See, Springsteen was sick.

I was on stage...

the band was ready.

Clarence was
out there cooking...

and I was the only one who
could fill The Boss' boots.

Sol put on my T-shirt, I put on
my jeans, I walk out there...

I open my mouth,
and all I can do is...


Just like a cow.


And the audience is saying...

"Sing Born in the USA.

"Born in the USA."

And I'm going...


And I fall down
on all fours...

and I start grazing on the
amp cords and salivating...

and the audience is singing
Jungle/and, Jungle/and.

And then I exploded.

What do you think?

I think, Murdock,
it's your same old...

anxiety-frustration problems.

If you have any
anxiety-frustration problems.

You really think that I
even know what reality is?

You know everything
about reality, Murdock.


But you choose to live
in a fantasy world.

And you build this fantasy
world for everybody to see...

including me.

I said it again
and again and again.

It's time that you deal
with reality.

And I think we ought
to start with the A-Team.

(both) I don't know what
you're talking about.

You know, I can do
these sessions by myself.

Do you hear that?

[helicopter whirring]

Yes, I hear it.

It's real.

I'd be very, very, very upset
with you, Murdock...

if you're so good at this
that you're a fraud.

I'd hate to lose you
as a patient.

I mean, you're the
best patient I've got.

In fact...

you could be
a professional patient.

Oh, Doc, I think you're
trying to trip me up here.

I respect the fact that you
want to protect your friends.

But I happen to be
a friend, remember?

All right,
I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna go out on a limb...

because I think...

that we're close
to a breakthrough.

You've been
pressing me like crazy.

If I get one more breakthrough
before the month is over...

I win a trip to Hawaii.

Oh, by all means,
give it your best sh*t, Doc.

I'm about to tell you something
that nobody else knows.

I'm gonna trust you.

You sure you wanna do this?

I'm telling you this because
I want to prove to you...

that you can trust me.

I'm not a doctor.


No, I mean, I'm a doctor in the
sense that I'm a psychologist...

I have a PhD,
but I'm not a medical doctor.

I mean, I can't practice
as a psychiatrist.

But the army--
Thinks that I'm an MD.

But I lied.

Because the pay rates
in those days weren't fair.

Do you know that MDs got twice
as much as psychologists?

But you're so well-known.

I know. That's the problem.

I'm so successful
as a psychiatrist...

that I can't go back
and set the record straight.

Is that really the truth?

Are you really
part of the A-Team?


Mommy, Daddy...

what are you
doing home early?

You promised that I could stay
up late and watch Johnny.

Who the hell
is this guy?

He's a patient. He's had a mental
breakdown. Please don't hurt him.

Uncle Pete...

what are you doing back
from Toronto?

Knock him out.

Oh, Richie...

you always get
to play doctor.

Why don't I ever get
to play doctor?

We are out of here.


Hello, emergency?

There has been
a terrible accident.

I think you better come.

What do you mean where?

, Old Malibu Road.

My wife fell off
the deck into the ocean.

I'm crying.

No, no,
we have not been drinking.

Why, thank you.

Hurry UP-

[siren wailing]

(Face) Now, you see, Wendy,
what is happening here, see...

is the vampire
has you trapped.

And you, you are gazing
into his eyes.

See, gazing.

That's it. That's it.

And then you say...

Bite me, please.




Oh, yes, yes, really.

Oh, Wendy,
I think that you are...

this far from...

nailing down this part.

[doorbell rings]


Excuse me.

[doorbell continues ringing]

Wonder who that could be?

The director, maybe.

Oh, no, no, the...

The director's in Europe
scouting locations.

Now, you just keep rehearsing.


Bite me.


You phoned in
the emergency?

Something about a woman
falling off a balcony?

Oh, well, maybe things
have been taken care of.

Bite me!

What about the lady?


Oh! Well,
she's fully recovered...

as you can see.

Bite me!


Bite me!


Bite me.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

No problem.

Bite me, please.


He comes staggering in...

just as I'm about
to give her...

the lead in
Rock 'N' Roll Vampire.

Then when he comes to,
he starts raving about...

how his shrink has been
kidnapped in broad daylight...

by American soldiers.

How'd he know
you were out here?

It was not a dream.

It was real.

The man was so loose,
he looked like a pretzel.

But they hit me
with something.

A drug.

That's why I was loose.
That's why I was acting crazy.

Yeah, sure,
blame it on the medicine.

Oh, that's right, B.A.,
just jump on the bandwagon...

ball up our friendship
like junk mail. Go ahead.

I checked all the newspapers this morning.

Not a thing about
a kidnapping at the VA.

More nightmares.

You've got all the demons in the book
chasing after you in your sleep.

They were not demons.
They were men.

They snatched my shrink,
and I want him back.

Murdock, why would someone want
to kidnap your psychiatrist?

I don't know.
I mean, all I know is...

they were big...

and they had a chopper.

Sounded like a D.

And he was
a military doctor.

They b*rned some files
or something.

He was privy to
a lot of secret stuff.

I mean, the wrong guy could've said the
wrong thing on the couch. I don't know.

Okay, Face.

You go to the hospital and check
out the whereabouts of the doctor.

We'll go to his home.

See if someone could
give us some information.

I really appreciate this,

Thanks, guys.

Anything to keep you
as an adult.

[doorbell ringing]

Miss Richter?

Can I help you?

I'm Colonel Brown,
the United States Air Force.

Used to run
with your daddy...

back in med school days.

It was a long time ago.

We went our separate ways,
and he went into psychiatry...

and I went into brain surgery.

Anyhow, I was in town, I
thought for old times' sake...

I'd stop by...

and see if he was around.

Well, I'm sure he's gonna be
sorry that he missed you...

but he's gone up to San Francisco
for a few days to a seminar.

That's a shame.

Maybe we could
sit down and chat.

I could tell you stories
about your daddy--

I'd love to do that, but I'm
afraid I'm just on my way out.

I've got to go to work.
Well, some other time.

I'm in town, and if your dad
would like to get together...

you have him call me
over at the Plaza Hotel.

I'll do that.
Thank you for stopping by.


You're a regular Sally Field.

Where did you
take my father?

two and a half minutes.

ETA of what?

What do you think, Colonel?

I think she's turned
privacy into an art.

We'll check her out.

Could be hiding somewhere
behind the door.

People with melted faces
and bellies like balloons.

[sighing] Well, according
to the hospital...

Richter called in this
morning asking for a leave.

Seems his mother's dying
down in Phoenix.

Well, that doesn't add up.

What about the f*re
in the office?

Well, apparently,
there was a f*re.

The VA thinks it was
just a case of vandalism.

You know,
kids looking for drugs.

We'll go around the backyard.
If there's anybody in there...

we'll find him.

I've got one,
and he's heavily armed.

Yeah, we've got one
in the den.

Drop the girl!

I didn't think you were
a brain surgeon.

Colonel Mack Stoddard.
Ring any bells?

No idea.

They just came bursting into the house
and went straight for my father's study.

Which way to the freeway
is it from here?

Next street, take a left.

The question is who is
Colonel Mack Stoddard...

and why is he so hot to get
his hands on my shrink?

My shrink. Nobody else's shrink.
My shrink.

Your father was
like a father to me.

Most of his patients
feel that way.

Yes, but I'm different.
I'm special.

I'm not like
all the others.

Yeah, well,
they all say that.

Yeah, but I'm different.
I'm special.

Ditto, ditto,
infinity, infinity.

Face, looks like you better find out all
you can about Stoddard, Colonel Mack.

Oh! You know that means hitting
a military base, don't you?

If we didn't throw
these challenges your way...

every now and then,
life would be--



Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Where is
General Fullbright?

He's at lunch.
Try back in an hour.

I would, but I can't.

I have to return to
my assembly point by : .

You see, my troop is leaving
for a two-day jamboree...

and I don't want
to miss the bus.

Jamboree? What are you
talking about, soldier?

Please, I would like
to drop off this prisoner...

and collect my reward.

You're one of the A-Team.

You're Templeton Peck.

I know.

Yes, I captured him. Right
there on the post office.

You see, I was sending a birthday
card to my grandmother...

and I was looking up her ZIP code in
the book when I saw his mug sh*t.

The guy was standing
right next to me.

Yeah, I should have used
the drive-through window.

Good job.

Yes, it's a square knot
with a half-tied brace.

Look, I better notify
the General, huh?

But what about my reward?

I don't know
if you're eligible.

It's for the capture of the
entire A-Team. All three.

Yes, well,
$ , divided by three--

You stay right here.

I will.

Don't move.
I won't.

Well, that wasn't too tough.

[clears throat]

"Colonel Mack Stoddard.

"Military advisor with the federales
against revolutionary forces...

"in Curaguay, South America.

"Review pending,

Wonder where he keeps
the voodoo dolls.

Well, if we're gonna talk
to this guy Stoddard...

we've got quite a trip.

Curaguay, South America?

Small republic
off the Pacific coast.

Revolutions average
one every months.

That's what I learned
in history class.

How long will it
take us to get there?

Oh, don't worry.
You can stay here.

Owners won't be back
for two weeks.

No way! I'm going.

Look, this is my father
we're talking about.

Hey, man, she can have
my seat on the plane.

Murdock, is your Dr. Richter
a physical man?

Could he escape
from Stoddard?

Negative, Colonel.
Strictly non-com.

Well, this review pending...

looks like the doctor was just about
to make a report on Stoddard.

Probably saying he should share
a cell with Charlie Manson.

So Stoddard destroys
all the reports on file...

then grabs the doc
in hopes of...

changing his review pending.

(Hannibal) I guess we
better pack our bags.

Forget it.
I got a new policy.

I ain't going no further
south than San Diego.

B.A., I have invested years
of therapy in this man.

He's the fourth most
important person in my life.

Besides that,
if you help me...

I promise I'll make you a blood brother.
You can eat all my jujubes.

You can count me out.

You gotta help me, pal.
Don't go. Pal!

You're my buddy. Pal, pal,
you've got to help me out here!

No! Forget it!
I'm out of here!

Don't go, please!

Don't go! You can't go!

No! I ain't staying!

I ain't gonna give you guys a chance
to drug me and throw me on a plane.


B.A.! B.A.!


Let him down easy.

What's wrong with him?

Anxiety att*ck.

Oh, please.


Relax, Murdock.

[birds chirping]

I was just remembering the first
time I ever tortured a guy.

I was just a shavetail.
It was my first trip overseas.

We were really having a pretty
bodacious time of it, too.

I had this prisoner
who wouldn't talk.

Trashed a whole pack
of cigarettes on the dude.


Then I discovered alligators.

I told you,
I filed nothing.

Not even about
my God complex?

About the lunatic who wants to rule
the world with extreme prejudice?

Come on, Doc.

What did you tell 'em?



What about those four guys
that were at your house?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Military types. They were
helping out your daughter.

Yeah. We know about her.

Cute. I wouldn't mind
a little spin with her myself.

Look, for the last time...

I talked to no one.
I did not file the report.

I hope not, for your sake.

I'm going to let you hang
around here for a little while.

If you decide to change your report, I might
consider letting you go in one piece.

Think about it.

Go to hell, Stoddard.

You first.

[hens clucking]

(Face) Well, I think
maybe we gave him...

a little too much
of that stuff.

(Murdock) He's going
to be real mad...

when he finds out
I tricked him.

You know,
our appearances are similar.

Why don't you just tell him
you hit the wrong arm?

You're awfully good at this. Did
you go camping with your father?

He hates camping.

He told me he went camping with
his daughter all the time.

That's my sister Janet
that he's talking about.

You also didn't know the way from
your father's house to the freeway.

It's his house, not mine.

I always knew the way
to my folks house.

Look, guys...

Don't "look, guys" me, lady. Tell me who
you are, or you're in deep trouble.

I told you who I am.

Now wait a minute, Hannibal. I think
you owe this lady an apology.

I would if there was
just one of her.

The girl is trying
to find her father.

Now you're quizzing her like
she's some chameleon con man.

I mean, look at that face.

Don't you believe her?
I mean, I believe her.

If she says she's Richter's daughter,
then she's Richter's daughter.

I'm a journalist.
She's a journalist.

I write for Transworld Press.

Well, anybody can
make a mistake.

I'm an international stringer.

Everything from bullfights
to revolutions.

Did you ever do anything
on regressions?

You need
professional help.

Yes, that's what I came
down here to get.

You can never travel
too far to get the best.

I'm doing a piece
on Dr. Richter.

It actually started because
he was treating Mr. Murdock...

who was rumored to be
connected to the A-Team.

And now Richter's missing,
that's news.

Hey, you guys are helping me. I
wouldn't think of doing you any harm.

Besides, if you were
so suspicious of me...

Why'd you bring me along
in the first place?

Because I didn't know who you'd
notify of our destination.

This way,
you didn't have the chance.

We're looking for
Colonel Mack Stoddard.

They said to ask
in this bar.

Señores, you've come to a place
where Yankees are not welcome.

We do not know this man you talk about.
Now get out!

(Hannibal) No, it's nice here.
We're staying.

Bad odds, my friend.

Yeah, you don't wanna
wake up el tigre.

We'll take our chances.

Well, there's always
a time you got to say...

what the heck? What the hey?


Hey, B.A.!

Wake up, B.A.
B.A., wake up!

Wake up, B.A.!

B.A., wake up!



[g*n cocks]

I ain't getting on no plane!

Everybody out!

Hold it right there.

Sorry, your visit to
our country must be cut short.

Well, we've seen most
of the sights anyway.

You guys really make me mad. You
wake me up so I can get k*lled!

Hey, you may want to k*ll them, but you
don't want to k*ll Stoddard's daughter.

Stoddard's daughter?

Welcome to the house
of mirrors, Face.

What're you trying to pull? The colonel
didn't say his daughter was coming.

Listen, my father doesn't tell flunkies
like you who's coming and going.

That's why he's
Colonel Mack Stoddard.

That's why he was able to win
three bronze stars in the w*r...

to rout an enemy outpost with only a
hunting knife and a broken p*stol.

I've heard about that,

Then you know all about when he
served with the nd Airborne?

Oh, nice try, Phillips.

He was never with the nd.
He was with the First Army.

He rotated out twice and did a third
stint during the fall of Saigon.

I just don't know
what to believe anymore.

This is a very
special person.

She just might be
out of your class.

I also know about a two-bit
lieutenant named Phillips...

that my dad met on have
'm Beta Beta.

Cover 'em.

Now, these guys have the rest of the
files my father's been waiting for.

That's the reason I've come all the way
down here. Well, that's what we need.

[g*n cocking]




B.A., get some rope
and tie 'em up.

Lady, you are
full of surprises.

Stoddard's daughter.

Oh, I just said that.

I realize that.

[sighing] I've lost it. I
mean, the magic is gone.

I, of all people, should be able to
see through a con artist. No more.

You guys, you may as well just put me up
on blocks, let kids throw rocks at me.

No, take it easy, Face.
It's just that she's good.

What are you giving him sympathy for?
One problem at a time.

He can go back to LA and brush
up with extension courses.

I'm the one
with trauma here.

Ready, Hannibal.

Okay, let's move out.

I'd ask you to join us...

but I'm not sure
which side you're on.

See, you're a busload of people, and
we don't feel like playing driver.

All right,
I'm gonna come clean.

Well, this should be good.

I'm with the CIA.

[stuttering] I'm losing it.
I'm just losing it because--

You hold on, I'll hold on. We'll get to
Richter. He'll take care of this whole thing.

Look, how do you think I knew
all about Stoddard's campaigns?

How do you think I knew
how he met Phillips?

What do you think I was doing at
Richter's house when you guys arrived?

These guys busted in, I said
I was Richter's daughter.

When you knocked on the door,
I had to stay in character.

I went the journalist route when
you cracked my daughter rap.

Lady, even if I bought the idea you
were with the CIA, we'd still pass.

See, we don't do business
with the company.

They've got this strange idea
that we're not the good guys.

Well, look, I know you're the good guys.
You've proven that to me.

And what I need you to do
is help me get through this.

Look, what else
would I be doing down here?

Beats me. Tie her up.

Do you know what you're doing?

Look, you know who I am! I'm with the CIA!
This is ridiculous!

Oh, come on! Look,
I helped you guys escape!

And we can't
thank you enough, ma'am.

Now you just relax, and we'll be
back and get you in a little while.

Let's mount up, guys.

(Betty) I'm an agent, I
have been sent down here.

You let me go.
You guys are in big trouble!

[animal calling]

[vehicle approaching]

Tell me about it.

El Presidente's
called a cease f*re.


He's ready to form
a coalition government...

and get rid
of all the US forces.

Not in this lifetime,
he won't.

He gets away with this...

then guys like you and me
haven't got a lot to do, do we?


We go after El Presidente.

We break the cease f*re

We'll snuff that dude. There's
still plenty of w*r left.

That's him, that is him!

(Hannibal) Stoddard's got
about a dozen men with him.

I'm just so glad
he's alive.


[birds chirping]


Oh, God! How could I
have been so stupid?


[Murdock groaning]



Far enough!

[g*n cocking]

Just like you said, baby.

They found us about
a half-hour after you left.

They were gonna k*ll me,
so I gave up you guys.

I told them about the att*ck.

Save it for your book.

Doc, wake up, Doc.

[Richter groans]
Wake up!

Is that you, Murdock?

I'm not late for
my weekly session, am I?

You were just about
to answer the question.

Boy, you never
stop pressing, do you?

My God, that's Sarah.
Sarah Teesdale.

Sarah? Lied to again.

You know this woman?

She's my client.

Client? A client?

You trying to tell me a client
goes to all the trouble...

to come down here
to try to find a psychiatrist?

She came to me for help. Though I
have my doubts about her motives.

Join the club.

Visiting time at the zoo.

(Hannibal) Stoddard,
you're quite a character.

Regular recruiting poster.

Hiding out here in the bushes playing
b*mb, the Jungle Boy, acting like God.

Doesn't your ego get a little
squeezed in these wide open spaces?

Hey, sucker,
you gonna pay.

I'm shaking.

Stoddard, there's something
I wanna tell you.

Careful. She does impressions.
She's got more faces than a crowd.

My real name is Marisa.

I lied to them
to protect my mission.

I was born in this country, but I went
to live in America with my mother...

after my father ordered her
k*lled if she didn't leave.

They m*rder her brother,
my Uncle Thomas.

They didn't approve of his politics.
I've never forgotten.

Now I've come back to see
that he's overthrown.

El Presidente's daughter?
You expect me to believe that?

You should've heard
what we had to believe.

El Presidente has a brother,
never heard from in the media.

What's his name,
where does he live...

and how old is
his oldest daughter?

This is
a bonus question, Sarah.

His brother Ernesto
died last year.

Only three sons survive him.
Mario, Luis and Manuel.

His wife Marguerita bore him
no daughters.

Anything else?

No, that's fine.
We have a new recruit.

I cannot believe
you used us this way!


Later. When we come back,
you can waste him yourself.

I'll tell you this, she's not
El Presidente's daughter.

You're sure this time?

Oh, yeah.


I knew there was something groovy
deep down inside that girl.

Doc, if she's your patient,
answer one question for me.

Who is she?

From time to time, everybody.


Get out!

We have to search the camp
for amm*nit*on and arms.

Anything, we can
use anything.

Man's talking like
he's got a plan.

You sure we can do this?

No, but I got great instincts.
Come on, Doc.

Look at this.

Look at this!


How would we launch them?

We'll find a way, Doc.

They gotta stop in town
for reinforcements.

If we leave now,
we're in business.

You know, Murdock...

I have always had
complete trust in you.

I don't believe a word
you're saying.


Tell me when.


[b*ll*ts ricocheting]

[both grunting]


[g*n f*ring]

Now who's
in the basket, Stoddard?

Throw down your w*apon!

There's no percentage. Let's see
you kick up some dust, Stoddard.

You know, Murdock, I'm glad
I'm not the only fraud.

Are you a doctor,
or aren't you a doctor?

I'll see you
at the next session.

(Murdock) Well, guys, I just
don't know what to say.

(B.A.) Good. Then maybe
I'll enjoy my meal.

[sighing] Since this is the
last day in the house...

the owner being due back
from Paris and all...

I figured, why not take full
advantage of the facility?

A gourmet luncheon. Couldn't
be a better way to say thanks.

How about money?

Well, I thought about that, B.A.,
but it struck me as crass.

You know, considering that you guys
risked your lives to save my shrink...

and get my emotional
shock absorbers back.

So all that I can give you...

is my heartfelt thanks.
How about money?

I can't help but wonder, was
Betty an agent of the CIA...

a journalist,
Stoddard's daughter...

Richter's patient,
Richter's daughter...

El Presidente's daughter?
Did I leave anything out?

Well, only that Stoddard's got a long time
in a cell to work on that one himself.

I think she's a nut. Pure and simple.
And out to drive everyone else nuts.

No, she was a woman with a highly
developed sense of adventure.

She was a gourmet
of the grandiose...

a belle of the bizarre.

In other words, she was
a woman worthy of my respect.

Whoever she was, I'd say she was just
a very insecure, frightened girl...

and I for one
feel very bad for her.

I think so.


So if your bosses at the studio
approve this $ million budget...

I think we can nail down Burt.

Anything to get
your picture going, darling.




Betty? Marisa? Sarah?

I just have
one of those faces, hmm?
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