05x01 - su1c1de Stunt

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "CHiPs". Aired: September 15, 1977 - May 1, 1983.*
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Series follows the lives of two motorcycle officers of the California Highway Patrol.
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05x01 - su1c1de Stunt

Post by bunniefuu »

Why'd you sign up for air
observer training, Grossie?

- You don't like flying.
- I like it.

I was just hoping something
exciting would happen.

Yeah.

Yesterday was
kind of quiet.

But today is young.
Who knows?

Mary 3 and 4

this is Air One observer.
We have you in view.

'Looks like you
have clear sailing'

'on into Long Beach now.'

'We'll check
the Queen Mary for you.'

'If there are any problems,
we'll let you know.'

'10-4?'

Mary 3. 10-4, Air One.

Hey, who is this guy
we're protecting?

Not protecting, just escorting.

He's a big motorcycle
star from Budapest.

They booked him for
the Circus of the Americas.

That's our circus, right?

Yeah, the one that's
doing the benefit for us.

'S-4, this is Air One observer.'

Your convoy's about

uh, three or four away.

'How's the protest rally?'

Uh, Air One, S-4.

Everything's alright here.
Tell them to come on in.

- Billy!
- Hey! How are you?

- How you doing?
- Good!

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

Mr. Caulfield.
He's with the hotel.

- 'How do you do?'
- Welcome aboard.

Billy Curtis is the circus
manager and ringmaster.

Maria Varga works
in our office.

'She and Janos Szabo
used to be friends.'

Oh, uh, are
you Hungarian?

I feel like
I'm an American.

I left Hungary
when I was only 16.

I thought we might
need an interpreter

but I understand our visitors
speak English pretty well.

Uh, yeah.

Timothy Hubbard,
state department.

One bellhop.

And is that the extent
of your crowd control?

That's the extent
of the crowd.

Well, watch the guy
with the sign.

Baker!

Ya! Whoo-hoo!

Hey, Janos! Janos!

Hey, there's been
a box office robbery!

Two guys, heading that way!

Maria!

Maria.

Maria!

Hey, hey, hey..
Alright, alright.

Hey, hey, alright!

Hurry up! Let's go! Let's go!

Hurry up! Let's go!

They went that way
in a blue car!

We made it. Free and clear.

- How'd we do, Virg?
- Uh, 600 and counting.

- Alright!
- Yeah!

Oh, no!
Wait a minute.

'Red lights behind us.
Rita, do your thing.'

I didn't shove anybody,
I was only trying

to keep Maria
from being hurt.

Me you shove!

I am here to protect
world-famous Janos Szabo

a Hungarian citizen!

Mr. Kovacs,
he's trying to apologize.

I mean, there's
no reason to start

'an international incident.'

Not an incident. No incident.

Just a, uh, happening.

Look, look, uh, we're sorry..

...if you're sorry,
we're all sorry, alright?

Okay?

And you came to me, my Maria.
You came to meet me, yes?

Well, to interpret,
if they need me.

I work for
the highway patrol.

I always knew that if I
would come to America

youwould find me.

And you did,
the first day!

Ah, and you are so happy,
I see in your eyes.

Well, when I heard
you were coming--

And wait until
you see the circus!

Did you know
that I am the star?

I fly my motorcycle
through the air

defying the fires
of death!

It is magnificent.

How long has it been
since Budapest?

Hundred years?

No, but ten,
and that's--

Oh, well, what
is time to us?

We are written
in the stars!

Now we are
together again

just as I always
promised myself.

Excuse me, Maria.

The sergeant's ready to leave.

Okay.

You will see me
again, Maria, yes?

- Say yes!
- Yes.

Well, when?
When will you see me?

The welcoming reception
this afternoon, I guess.

- I'll be there.
- Then, until then, my Maria--

I'll catch up with you later.

I need 50 more tickets
to the benefit.

It's going to be a sellout!
Nah, don't worry about Janos.

We got an ironclad contract.

I'll see it all runs
smoothly. It's my job.

I hope so,
for my sake.

You're a shame in
the name of Hungary!

From now, you will conduct
yourself with dignity

or you will be taken home!

Comrade Kovacs,
I am a motorcyclist.

I wanted to see

the motorcycle
officer in action.

And who can blame
me for embracing

a beautiful girl, a Hungarian?

One of the miserable dissidents

who deserted
the mother country!

Ah, now that I have
found her, I shall

correct that little mistake.

Look at your own
mistakes, young man.

There will be no more,
uh, jumping around

like a, like
a stupid monkey!

Kovacs, you
are a policeman.

I am the son
of a government minister.

Beware of your insults.

There is only so much
I will take from you!

Beware of your
behavior, Janos Szabo.

You have more
to lose than I.

Imre, you always worry.

Anybody know where Jon is?

He's on air observer
training tomorrow.

- He's getting ready.
- Okay.

I got a call from Long Beach PD.

That getaway car in
the heist this morning

was stolen from
the storage yard

'put back after the caper.'

They had it pretty
well planned, huh?

The dock superintendent might
be able to give you something.

Why don't you check with
him tomorrow morning, hmm?

- Sure.
- Okay.

Boy, air observer
training is really dull.

That box office robbery
is the one interesting thing

that happened and, right under
my nose, and I missed it!

You were there. Where'd you go?

We flew away..

...looking for excitement.

Hey, Bonnie,
if you're going home

pretty soon, can I bum a ride?

Sure, just give me
30 seconds, okay?

- Great.
- Hey, uh, Maria.

Ponch tells us that
first love of yours

is quite a character.

Janos?

Teenage infatuation.

We were political opposites,
really, worlds apart.

But he was cute and flashy

and crazy about motorcycles.

Still seems crazy about you.

Well, that's because I'm here.

I'm sure he has
a girl in every town

and thinks they all adore him.

Listen, why don't I
pick you up about five

and we'll have dinner
after the party.

- Wonderful.
- See you later.

Bye.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen

can I have your
attention, please?

'Just a few words of thanks.'

First to Billy Curtis,
who's staging

a special performance
of the circus for us.

'And especially to our
visitors from Hungary.'

'Our station, the Los Angeles
Central of the CHP'

is acting as host unit
for the benefit this year.

We're here to say that we
are very proud and happy

to welcome Janos Szabo
on his first American tour.

And to extend
the thanks of every

highway patrolman
in the Los Angeles area.

To Janos, to his
escort, Imre Kovacs

'and to the whole crew
that travels with them.'

Please e-enjoy a cocktail.

The buffetwill be served
in about 20 minutes.

Pardon us for a moment. Maria?

I must talk to you.

Meet me outside the hotel

in three minutes.

This benefit
performance, uh..

This, the department
of police has ordered

that all the money should
be taken from the circus?

No orders, Mr. Kovacs.

Billy Curtis has been
a friend of ours for years.

He's giving the money.
It was his idea.

Isn't that nice?

I borrow keys
from Imre Kovacs.

Come.

Now, what is this?

A quiet place for us

to sit..

...and make our plans.

Yes?

This is too much.

You remember the night
on Margaret Island?

"Play for my Maria,"
I say in gypsy.

"Let her know how
deep is my love."

And you kissed me.

Janoski, we
were children.

A-and now I am
an important man back home.

My apartment
is one of the finest

in all of Budapest.

You shall see, for now
you must come back

and share it with me.

Back to Budapest?

I will marry you,
if you wish.

Janos, I'm
an American now.

I wouldn't go back
to Hungary with you

even if I were
in love with you.

And if you ever read
any of my letters

you know I'm not.

Why did you
stop writing me?

Because you never
once answered.

But you knew what
was in my heart.

Ah-h-h..

I hear the meaning
of your words.

Well, you will know
that I am right

when you have
done as I say.

Hey, Janos, stop it.

Ah, my Marika!

Ponch!

Ah, Marika, no!

What are you doing?

Go tell Kovacs
and Hubbard.

Okay.

Breaker, breaker, any
PD unit in the vicinity

of the Queen Mary?

This is CHP Officer Jon Baker

'badge number 8-7-1-2.'

'We have a possible kidnap
suspect in the parking lot'

driving a black
1980 Cadillac limousine.

Fasten your seat
belt, Marika.

With you by my side, I can
outrun the devil himself.

Oh, please!

- Janos! What are you--
- Oh, he is good! Watch him!

Janos!

Janos! Stop it!

A man takes his
girl out for a ride.

Now, why all the fuss
and bother, huh?

Hold it. Maria had nothing
to do with stealing that car.

Well, if this man did,
it's GTA and he's my prisoner.

No, no, no. Hungarian citizen.
Diplomatic immunity.

That's for
the courts to decide.

Hey, wait a minute, this
whole thing may be a mistake.

Now, who has charge
of the car keys?

I am in charge

e-entirely.

Hungarian State Police, right?

'Now, you wouldn't leave
the keys laying around'

so someone might steal
them, Janos has the keys

so maybe you gave him
permission to borrow 'em.

- Borrow?
- Yes, excellent.

Absolutely!
Borrow, yes!

See, this is
nothing, nothing.

Just, uh,
simply a little

bull in tea cup!
Eh? Ha ha ha.

China shop.

No one is
pressing charges.

See, well, then, see, Janos
is going to bed right now.

Until I see you
again, Maria.

My very first diplomatic coup.

- Hurry up.
- Yeah.

You know, I think we're
getting too much attention.

But I didn't see
anything on the TV today.

Well, look, attention's
not gonna hurt us

as long as we
keep it moving...fast.

Right.

Let's see where it is.

Here.

Only an inch and a half
in the local paper.

Hey, they gave
us a name, guys.

"Box Office Bandits,"
quote, unquote.

Now, how did I find this
obscure little article

in the Long Beach
newspaper? I didn't.

The captain kindly
called it to my attention.

- What's the rap on us?
- How do you know there's a rap?

Woman's intuition
or police work?

Is there a difference?

The story is entitled
"CHP goulash."

It implies that we
were so preoccupied

with escorting Janos Szabo

that we let
the Box Office Bandits escape.

Hey, the Long Beach
PD took that over.

I was monitoring
the transmission.

Jon backed off
at their request.

Yeah, but we are taking the rap.

I would like us to be on
the alert for these yahoos.

Uh, do our best to
vindicate the patrol, hmm?

And get the captain
off your back?

Uh, now, Baricza, that
is woman's intuition.

Now, if we're all together

I'll explain.

We are standing in one of two

engine rooms aboard.

Each one housed two
complete 40,000 horsepower

'steam turbine engines.'

All four working together
produced almost as much thrust

'as a modern 747 jetliner.'

'Our boilers heated
water to steam.'

'The steam was pumped through
large pipes into turbines'

'that would spin at 1,000
to 1,500 revolutions per minute'

moving the ship
through the water

at twenty eight and a half
knots, or thirty three miles--

Hey! Hey, Janos!
Come down right now!

Going for men's room, Imre.

You! Get moving!

'Now, you follow him!
Go! Close the door!'

Now, you follow me!
Come on! Come on!

Come on, check that side!
Don't let him get out!

Maria?

Maria! Maria!

Hey, that's my truck!

'Hey, come back
here with my truck!'

'Units in position,
an unknown disturbance'

'on an ITA bus,
northbound on Hoover'

'next stop Union, at 12:02,
identify and respond.'

LA 15, Air One can
assist on the ITA call.

'7-Adam is requesting
you at Anaheim Stadium'

'on a Box Office Bandit 2-11.'

10-4, LA. Looks like
Anaheim wins again.

What's the problem?

Ah, some nutburger
jumped onto the bus

and ran into the park
with a female passenger.

I think it was Janos and Maria.

If you don't love me

why then did you run

from the bus with me?

I ran because I-I
was mortified.

And you lied for me last
night...to the police.

Maria, come to your senses!
Of course, you love me!

Janos, go back to your
people before you're caught.

And stay away from me, okay?
I never want to see you again.

Yes, you do.

You do..

...and you will.

The strange thing is that
this is where I was coming..

...to this park.

My father,
he d*ed in 1956

during the street
fighting's in Budapest.

And my mother,
before she d*ed

she used to take me
for walks in the park.

We would talk
about my father

how things had been

perhaps someday
coming to America.

So whenever I
have a problem

I...I come to a park
to think it out.

Janos didn't
know it, but today

I-I needed to
think about him.

Why don't we sit down?

You know, when you
think of the chances

he's taken just
to be with you

maybe he really
is in love with you.

Ponch...the man is orult.

Crazy. And it scares me.

What is it?
Why did you call?

- What's wrong?
- Plenty. Come on.

I don't know what to
tell you, Mr. Kovacs.

We've been over
the ship top to bottom

stem to stern, three times.

Yes. Somehow he left the ship.

But he'll return.
He wants to hear applause.

You know, be big star.

But he'll return,
and when..

Kovacs, where is Janos?

Janos? What do you mean?
You mean Janos Szabo?

Has he returned
to the ship?

Returned? From where?

'Hello!'

'Up here!'

'The view from
here is marvelous!'

Never have I seen
anything so incredible.

The-the ships,
the harbor, the city.

'Imre, you must come up here!'

Come on, bring your camera!

I went looking
for the men's room

and when I come out,
the ship, she is so big

I am lost.

Janos, we
got witnesses.

This is a free country, yes.

But no man is free
here to steal a truck

cause a traffic pileup,
menace a public bus

'and laugh it off.'

Amazing!

There is a fellow anywhere
who could be mistaken for me.

Oh, knock it off.

Do you think we're stupid enough
to buy this tacky charade?

We're not.

Now, my government has
ordered me to see that

things go smoothly for
your people, but I can't.

Not with this-this
clown running loose.

Uh, pl-please, please.

- L-let me--
- Imre.

You talk, eh?

Please. Maybe we can
work something out.

What if they guarantee
to pay for damages

and compensations?

And lock him up, under
guard, under house arrest.

My terms exactly.

You make himprisoner?

'Yourprisoner.
Your guarantee.'

I mean, before he
gets in serious trouble

'or maybe even
gets himself k*lled.'

I got it.

It's okay.

Excuse me.
Where's the bathroom?

Somebody stop him!

'Anaheim, the jazz concert,
the MO's always the same.'

A booth doing
over-the-counter cash sales

get away in a stolen car,
and they abandon the vehicle

before we
can find them.

Since the Queen Mary

they've struck five times.

Tourist attractions,
well-publicized

all in the same
general area.

And I bet you have a list
of the coming events.

Celebrity tennis, a charity
rodeo and the circus.

Now, I'm on air
observer duty tomorrow.

If I can keep it in
the Long Beach area long enough

I can even direct
the foot chase from the air.

If Jon and the guys
don't get them

before they abandon the car.

Is Jon in on your,
uh, cockamamie plan?

It's not my cockamamie plan.
It's his cockamamie plan!

We're thinking that
ifthey hit the circus booth

and if we're there, well,
it'll be like, well, uh..

Yeah, poetic justice.

For the security
of our benefit performance.

I could give
the other events

to the Long Beach PD

and I guess
I could extend

the protective custody
to the Hungarians.

Hey, I-I didn't say I would.

I said I could.

Oh.

Alright, alright, I will.

If the captain says I can.

- Alright, thank you, sarge.
- Yeah.

- You guys are something else.
- He's not a bad guy.

No, he's not
too shabby.

Thanks.

Looking good.

Okay, you guys,
take your positions.

I'll be in contact with you
from up there, alright?

Okay.

'Hey, Jon!'

Hey, Kovacs tells me he's

always been this wild.

Now, he wouldn't
try any of these

shenanigans in Budapest.

- He wouldn't dare.
- Yeah.

He's like a kid
in a candy store.

I mean, pickin' out
on freedom, no matter what.

Yeah, well, I hope somebody
makes him understand

the freedom to behave.

I hate to lose him
for your benefit.

That's a lot of money to refund.

Look, d-do I recognize that guy?

Oh, Emmett Kelly, Jr.
Hey, Emmett!

Come on over here.
Come here.

Emmett Kelly, Jr.

Jon Baker,
highway patrol.

Emmett..

Uh, I won't arrest you
if you promise to be good.

Hey, that's good.

'Stakeout, Air One observer.'

We're gonna have
to set down to refuel.

We'll call you as soon
as we're back in the air.

Air One, this is Stakeout.
Uh, no action here yet.

10-4 on your last transmission.

7 David in position.

Roger. Stand by.

b*mb! Run! Run!

Stakeout, it's going down!

Move in. Turner,
you block the exit.

You stay here.
I'm going to investigate.

Come on, let's get out
of here! Now! Go! Come on!

Toby! Toby!

- Help him! He's hurt!
- Don't move him!

- Don't move him.
- No, no, it's alright .

I'm okay, I'm okay.

I'll call the paramedics.

Hey, Turner, uh,
hold your position.

10-4.

Hey, clear the area!

Go on, get back!

Now, let's drop it!
Come on, drop it!

Drop it all!

Don't say he escaped from us.
He escaped from you.

And you were supposed
to keep him locked up.

But, Jon, he had to
be free to rehearse.

And who was supposed
to keep him under control?

I, I, I. I-it's
my responsibility.

I admit.

But now I need help.
He must be found.

What if he isn't, Billy?
What does it do to you?

I'm afraid that sh**t
down our benefit show.

I'm going to need about
three days in order to

square away for
the scheduled performances.

Can we count on
your cooperation

if he comes
back to you?

I am in
a delicate position.

I mean...Janos is the son
of a government official.

I am a government official--

Kovacs, he broke our laws!

He came that close
to seriously hurting someone.

'Now, either you agree
that he belongs to us'

'until our respective
state departments'

can work it out,
or I'm going to recommend

in the strongest
possible terms

that you both be
sent back to Hungary!

I'm sorry, Billy.

He's no good to you
acting this way.

Well, I didn't say
that I was not going

to, uh, cooperate
with you--

Thank you,
thank you.

But w-what if he
is trying to see

again this Maria Varga--

He'll find her
with a police officer

who will arrest him.

We can stop by
your apartment

get whatever you
need now, if you like.

Feels like it's an awful
imposition, Bonnie.

Listen, everybody knows
I have an extra bedroom.

And if I didn't take you in
while Janos was on the loose

I'd have to
explain it to Ponch.

And to Jon..

...to Baricza...
to Turner..

...to Grossman...
to Sergeant Getraer.

Okay. I will feel a lot
safer, and that's the truth.

Good.

Fire! Fire! Fire!

'Fire!'

Stay here!

'Fire!'

Fire!

There's another
extinguisher in there!

Hello, Maria!

My car! It's Janos!

It's that
goofy Hungarian!

Go get him!
Go on!

'All units, 10-24 at Central.'

'A GTA with 2-0-7 PC, 2 ago.'

'Vehicle is
a cream colored 1980 Futura'

'0-8-5, yellow, Ida, Nora.'

'Last seen westbound
Washington from the station.'

'Victim is a female,
white, CHP employee.'

'Suspect is a male,
Hungarian national.'

Janos! He's got Maria!

The thing to do
is to marry you first

before we go
back to Budapest.

Janos, this is insane.

All you're doing
is making me hate you.

No, passion,
my Marika.

Love will
conquer hate.

We'll be married in Mexico
and when I return with you

as my wife, everyone
will forgive me.

We'll never get to Mexico.
They know this car.

- They're after us already!
- Ah, yes, I know.

But soon we will find a way
to leave this car.

The speeder down there.
Let's check him out!

LA Air One,
we have an 11-83

Shelby from Vernon.

A speeder,
westbound Shelby.

Vehicle is cream color.

Could be 2-0-7 GTA.

Units in position
respond on channel two.

Air One, 15, Mary 3,
Vernon southbound from Maxwell.

7 Adam, northbound
4-0-5 from Pico.

Air One advising Mary 3
as the primary unit.

7 David for backup.
All other units 10-22

until further.

Jon's closer,
but not close enough.

Stay with the guy! He's orult!

That's Hungarian for crazy.

Hey, what's the matter with you?

What are you doing?

Janos!

Hey, wait! Y-you..

Jon, he's commandeered a truck!

Southbound, Massano Road.

Mary 3, 10-4, Air One.

Janos, stop,
please, stop!

You don't know
what you're doing!

Of course, I know
what I'm doing!

Janos, stop it!

Get low and come
up behind him.

I'm gonna jump
in the truck.

You're what?
You're out of your mind!

You talk about him being crazy!

Bob, he's gonna k*ll that man!

You jump, and you'll
k*ll yourself!

I'm gonna make a pass at him.

No!

He'll panic and lose
it and k*ll Maria too!

Come on, please! Get down there!

Alright, I'm gonna
give you one pass.

But don't jump unless I say go.

Go!

Did you see that?
That was incredible!

I don't, I
don't believe!

Did you really do that?

That was marvelous!

That was incredible,
that was stupendous!

That was a wonderful
thing you did.

Ah...y-you are,
you are stupendous!

You are...wonderful!

You, you are... orult!

'By a man who is
brave enough to do'

such a thing as you
did, I, Janos Szabo..

...am proud
to be arrested.

Hold it.

Now, just a minute.

What do you think you're doing?

Well, it's something
I always wanted to do

and I had a couple
of days off, so I--

So you're going to do
the act? No way, partner.

Ponch, widows and orphans.

We promised them
the fire of death.

Now, if somebody doesn't do it

we're gonna lose
the whole benefit show.

Jon, you can't,
man. It's insane!

Oh, a guy who jumps from
airplanes calls me insane?

Okay, I know it's for
the widows and orphans

but you're gonna
k*ll yourself tomorrow

in front of thousands.

Ah, don't be silly.

That's why I'm
out here practicing.

If I don't make it..

...I won't do the show.

I did explain to them that
I can't get Janos released

then they explained
to Officer Baker

that-that the stunts
are hazardous.

Now, I don't want Baker
to think that I'm a fink

because I'm reporting to
you. Why, what's going on?

Hubbard, will
you shut up?

Thought they might want me
to check out the motor before--

Harlan, shut up, huh?

That was terrific!

Did I miss it? I just heard
about it. Did I miss it?

I missed it.

Grossman, you'll
see it tomorrow.

Uh, your benefit show
is going to be a huge success.

Kovacs, if we're lucky
enough to get Janos back

I think he's going
to be less trouble.

'Yes, yes, yes.'

Thank you to highway
patrol California

which I now declare to be

honorary Hungarian Police.

Thank you,
thank you.

And to, uh, Poncherello

and, uh, Mr. Back,
uh, Baker, yes, Baker

I officially pronounce
you orult.Yes?

No, no, no.

Just little Hungarian joke.
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