05x06 - Anything But the Truth

[bunniefuu]

Are you alright?

Sure. Ha ha.
Was I right?

Is this the kind of fun
you want to share

with your friends
or what?

It's a little bit radical for
6:00 in the morning, isn't it?

Never.

Ah, you were right,
it was a lot of fun

for me, anyway.

This is a nice place
for a picnic.

I can just see it
cooling in the evening

you know, the sun sort of
setting down over the hills.

We ought to think about
having a double date up here.

Ah, well, I don't think this
is Marcie's sort of thing.

In the meantime, why don't you
get cleaned up?

We got a full day's
work ahead of us.

Want to race back?

You are a glutton for
punishment, aren't you?

I sure need a lift.

Hey, lighten up,
will you?

Thank you.
How far are you going?

I don't know.
How far are you going?

Las Vegas.

Umm, publisher's convention
children's books.

Kid's books, huh?

You don't look like
the, publishing type.

Oh, well, I'm
a commercial artist.

This could be
my big break, too.

I'm supposed to
meet a publisher

and if he likes my sketches
he's going to take me

to New York to do some
illustrations.

Hey, that's terrific.

You're, uh, traveling
kind of light, though.

Oh, would
you believe it?

I put my bag
on the bus

and I just went
to the ladies' room

and when I came out,
the bus left.

But don't you
think you, uh, take

a big chance
hitching a ride?

Well, don't you think you take
a big chance picking me up?

Ha, ha, ha. Oh,
I don't think so.

You're a real student
of human nature, aren't you?

Well, I know about
chicks that hitchhike.

If you wait till tonight I can
take you to Vegas myself.

I-I don't think so.

Hey, where are you
going to sleep?

What are you
going to eat, huh?

'I mean you're broke, right?'

Well, yeah, so artists
are always broke.

There are ways
to fix that.

'Uh, let's just change
the subject, okay?'

Alright, brace yourself
and sit still.

I'll get us
some pocket money.

Umm, I forgot something.

Could you just drop me
off at the next exit, please?

I'll be right back.

Are you hurt?

The real world, baby.

Hey, come back!
Wait!

Oh, thank you.

They just called the school
and told me my mother is sick

and I-I just missed
the bus

and I've really, never
hitchhiked before

but I didn't know
what else to do.

I couldn't look
at him.

He held his handkerchief
up to his face.

He grabbed my hair.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Mrs. Williams, I want you to
take slow, deep breaths.

'There's nothing
to be sorry for.'

Listen to me,
slow, deep breaths.

'Come on.'

'Everything's okay now.'

'Slow and deep.'

'Okay?'

- Can she give us a statement?
- Well, why not?

She's only been accosted,
robbed, and brutalized.

- Hey, hey, Bonnie.
- I'm sorry.

This kind of thing
makes me mad.

Can she give an ID
on the assailant?

Not now!

Uh-uh. Not yet.

I'm going to follow her
to Valley General, okay?

Okay, we'll take care
of the car.

- Foreman's looking for you.
- I'm right here.

You keep taking two-hour lunch
breaks every couple days

you're gonna end up waiting
on the unemployment line.

Ha, ha, ha, I've been
there before.

Where the heck you spend
your time anyway?

Some girl you're
chasing after?

Nope.

It's pigeons...
chasing and plucking.

Pigeons?

Yeah, it's kind
of fun, too.

Of course, it's not easy.

First you got to
learn how to spot them.

I don't think
you're the type.

Oh, thanks.
I just missed...what?

Oh.

Thanks a lot.

You just made me
lose a ride.

Figures.
Hitchhiking's a loser's game.

Aw, that's not
for me, is it?

Pedestrians, bicyclists,
and other non-motorized traffic

'prohibited
on the freeway.'

Oh, well...

Yeah, but I don't
know the rules.

Look, I've never
done this before

but my car broke down, and I
have to get to Beverly Hills.

'I'm a private music teacher'

'and these kids
that I babysit'

the last time
that I was late

they tore the whole place apart
and broke this beautiful vase

and I almost lost my job.

How about your life?

Any time you
hitch a ride

you take the chance
of losing it.

'Now, may I see some
identification, please?'

Ooh, look at that,
Bonnie.

None for me.

Oop.

No, no, no, go ahead.

Why does the laughter always die
down when I walk into a room?

Oh, no, Sarge.
That's not true.

We just thought maybe
you had some business..

...something serious
to say.

Well, not really, I, I just
thought I'd stroll in here.

I wanted to tell Bonnie
how much I appreciate

her teaching that woman's
self-defense class again.

I think that's really
marvelous, don't you?

I do too, Bonnie.
Good for you.

She has requested that I ask
for some volunteer assistants.

- Well, there you go, Steve.
- You got it, McLeish.

Me?

Yeah, they all got
their Form 33s to do.

Look, a guy with
your athletic ability..

...I mean,
you're a natural.

Well, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

What's this all about?
Somebody fill me in.

Ah, it's simple.
I've done it.

Then why don't
you come with me?

I'm busy that evening.

You don't even know
what evening that is.

I know I'm busy.

Okay, I guess
I'm your man.

If I wasn't a feminist,
I'd kiss you.

You know,
I get the feeling

since this Marcie lady came
along Jon's free evenings

are about a thing
of the past.

Hey, I've only known
her a little while

so don't be tying
any tin cans on my bumper.

- Hey, Jon.
- Yes.

Excuse me.

Happiness is
a fleeting thing.

Enjoy it
while you have it.

Thank you, Harlan.

- Hey, are you okay?
- Yes, I think so.

Okay, stay in the car,
and I'll send help.

LA 15-7-david
in pursuit of a hit-and-run.

'Light green 4-door,
202-ocean-sam-adam'

'heading East out
on Montana from 26.'

I think it's
the bump and booster.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

- Hi, Marcie.
- Aren't you handsome.

- Are you ready?
- Not quite.

- Now I'm ready.
- Let's go.

Next.

Hi, they said I had to come
down in person so here I am.

Well, my dog ate the..

She's just a little
teeny cockapoo

and she kind of gets
into everything.

My niece had
one of those dogs.

I hate the little
monsters.

Alright, you have several
options, Miss Pendleton.

You can go to court,
you can pay the fine now

or you can take the safety
awareness class for females

in which event
there will be no fine

and the violation
will be dismissed.

- Well..
- Take the class. Fine.

Time, place, and instructions
are listed here.

'It will be your
responsibility to return'

the certificate of completion to
this court within 30 days.

Next.

Thanks. Have a nice day.

'Alright, that's it.'

Steve, remember, safety
awareness class, 8:00 sharp.

I'll be there.
Sounds like fun.

I've explained
the requirements to him.

Oh, thanks, Jon.

You know, I studied
a little judo

and tumbling
and stuff like that.

Oh, don't worry,
it'll be fine.

Well, I know, I just want
you to know

I can take some
pretty spectacular falls.

We can make
it look really good.

Swell.

Yo.

Uh, yeah, hey, Jon,
it's for you.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Hello.

'Hi, Jon, it's Marcie.'

Hi, Marcie, this is a nice
surprise, what's happening?

Oh, my brother's
just landed in town.

Actually, he's just stopping
over for a couple of hours

on his way to boot camp,
but he's my only brother.

Yeah, well, I'd love
to meet him.

You know, I've been
to boot camp

maybe I can give him
a few clues.

Oh, you're a love,
but see

he just broke off
a two-year engagement

with a girl my mother
and father both love

And so I gotta stay here

'and talk to my folks
long-distance.'

So, I-I really just have to
cancel tonight, I'm sorry, Jon.

Fine, fine, Marcie,
there's no problem.

Look, just give me a call in the
morning, would you, please?

- Great.
- Alright, bye-bye.

Bye-bye, Jon.

I'd like you
to try to forget

that Officer McLeish and I
are experienced at self-defense.

What I'd like you to take home
this evening is

that anybody
with proper training..

Ya!

Can handle
a would-be attacker.

- I thought you couldn't come.
- Oh, Marcie had to cancel.

How's it going?
The fall looked great.

That wasn't a fall.

'Steve.'

Woman's trying
to k*ll me.

Okay, let's see
what's possible with

a throat att*ck
from behind.

Okay, the next one's
a little more complicated.

Officer McLeish
is going to grab me

around the waist
from behind.

And throw you
on your head.

Oh! Jeez!

Aaah!

'This is like
all-star wrestling.'

Woah! Aah!

Now you know how
the other half feels.

Okay, we've had
some laughs

but let's not be
fooled by the fun.

Personal safety is
a very serious business.

It may be a matter
of life and death.

Think positive
and think power

because you do have it,
and this is just--

Not some guy off
the street.

Pretty good, huh?

This is CHP Officer
Jon Baker and I think

that Jon's got something
serious to talk to us about.

'Isn't that right, Jon?'

'I think what Bonnie's
talking about'

'is not some half-imagined..'

..."them" or "they"
or some foggy face out there.

This character is
out there right now.

We call him "The bump
and boost 'em bandit."

'He, uh, uses stolen vehicles
to rear-end his victims'

'and he usually att*cks
elderly ladies.'

'Now, when
the victim pulls over'

'and they go to exchange
insurance information'

that's when he assaults them,
robs them, and takes off.

'So, if you see
a man, uh..'

Uh, keep your eye on the guy
if he's approaching, um

especially if he covers
his face with a handkerchief.

'Uh, bring as much attention
to your car as you can'

'honking and so on.'

If, uh, any of you come
in contact with this man

please get in touch
with us, okay? Thank you.

'Okay, thanks, Jon.'

'That concludes our class.'

Uh, anybody that wants
individual instruction

can come back
in 10 minutes.

Otherwise, you're
free to go

once I validate
your certificates, okay?

Right over here.

- Jon, I'm so embarrassed.
- Oh, that's okay.

Marcie Pendleton,
Steve McLeish.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Well, hello.

- Heard a lot about you.
- Thank you.

When I saw you walk in,
I nearly d*ed.

Like when I saw you...
I mean the last time I heard--

I know, I was delivering
some packages

and I got stopped
for speeding.

I just couldn't tell you, I mean
how could I ever live that down?

You mean, you went through
that whole story

just to hide
a speeding ticket from me?

You are something else,
you know that?

Marcie Pendleton!

No, you are.

Remember, hitchhiking
is no way to get anywhere.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

- Have I blown it?
- Marcie, hitchhiking?

Which is why I said speeding
because hitchhiking is stupid

and I'm not really the type.

'But when your car
has a flat'

'and your spare
has no air'

and you've got
a heavy exam

and I'm five miles
from the school..

...you really don't have
much of a choice.

Marcie, there's no
excuse for hitchhiking.

- Jon, please don't be sore.
- I'm not sore.

I care about you,
I just don't want you

to end up as another
dumb statistic.

Do you see why I didn't
want to tell him?

That isn't the point.

Okay, okay, so what?
Do you hate me now or what?

Of course
I don't hate you.

Good, because I want to
show you guys something.

You know that guy
you were talking about

"bump 'em bandit"
or whatever?

- How'd you know?
- Because he tried to rob me.

Where? When?

Well, that was the night
that everybody chipped in

and I went out for pizza.

It was two weeks ago tomorrow,
and I was driving Lisa's car..

...she's one of the neighbors
in my building.

'And, Jon,
just like you said'

that guy came up from behind me
and bashed right into me.

I was on Ventura Boulevard
just past Balboa.

And when he started to
walk up beside the car..

I still get the shakes
when I think about it.

Okay, Marcie, this is, uh,
official but informal.

Just run it down
as it happened.

I'll pass it on
to the Sheriff's investigators.

They'll take
the formal statement.

Okay, um, well,
none of the girls

in the building wanted
to cook that night

so I got the privilege of going
out for burgers and fries.

Was it burgers
or pizza?

No, you're right, it was,
um, it was pizzas.

See, I wanted burgers,
but I got voted down.

So, then on the way home

I was heading down
Victory Boulevard

when this car
came from be--

Uh, wait a minute, you told me
Ventura Boulevard, remember?

- Didn't I just say that?
- No, you said Victory.

Jon...um,
let her finish.

I meant Ventura, you know.

'Okay. Ventura. Then?'

'So then this guy...the one
you call "bump 'em bandit"..'

'...he came right up behind my
car and ran into me.'

'My friend's car,
I mean.'

You know, he just
bumped right into it.

I felt the hit from right
behind, and, and..

- Well, you guys got here early.
- We weren't early.

You were late.

I was going to help
you unload them.

Yeah, well,
we already unloaded.

Oh, yeah, Barbara, this is
Marcie. Marcie, Barbara.

- Hi.
- Hello!

I'll tell you what.
I'll gas them up.

We already gassed them up.

Well, I guess there's nothing
left for me to do.

Well, just have
a good time

and give me some
space so I can, too.

Gotcha.

You guys weren't kidding about
getting away from it all.

Alright, Desert Dale's
just over the hill

so we're really not miles
from nowhere.

Take it you've never spent a
weekend in Desert Dale.

I hope I do better
than last time.

Well, they're real
tricky at first

but once you get used
to the steering

you're going to have
a lot of fun.

Jon didn't tell me that, uh,
you've ridden these before.

I just found out.

She rode some of
the first ones.

'Aah.'

Steer it into the hill.

I can't, Jon.

Are you alright?

It just started
going down hill

and, uh, I couldn't
get it into gear.

Hey, sarge,
you want to see me?

Yeah, come on in, Jon.
Shut the door.

Wow, that serious, huh?

From the hip, okay?

From the hip.
Sure, always.

Marcie's story
doesn't wash.

Doesn't wash?
Why not?

She's been kicked out
of two or three schools

she's been fired from every
job she's ever had.

That's ridiculous.

Jon, the line on her is
she's a pathological liar.

Okay, uh, what about the sketch
she drew of the guy?

She knew his MO.
What about the MO?

You can keep the sketch

and she heard you
describe the MO, so..

So, I might have been wrong
about some of the details.

It was a month ago,
and my head's so full

of art school
and job interviews

'and, frankly, Jon,
part of the reason'

'I haven't been able
to focus lately is you.'

I didn't want you
to see me like this.

I really wanted to
be beautiful for you.

Hey, Marcie,
why don't you drop it?

Why were you
kicked out of school?

And why can't you
keep a job? Why?

So, this is what you
get when you let

a cop into your life,
"Why? Why? Why?"

This is what you get when you
can't tell the truth.

Don't lay
that trip on me, Jon.

It's called
compulsive lying.

It's pathological.
It's not under your control.

Tell me more, doctor.

'You tell me more.'

My therapist, one of them
how did he put it?

"Low anxiety tolerance,
poor self image."

My parents...Madame wonderful,
the fashion designer.

General Spectacular,
the genius fighter pilot..

They're super-achievers, Jon

and I can't
live up to them.

So, I just keep
creating new Marcies

everyone new
and different.

And that way,
I don't have to deal

with the Marcie
who has the problem.

What about you and me?
Is that a lie?

You and me?

It must be you
and the real me, huh?

Because if it's
a lie, Jon..

...this one really hurts.

'Any unit in position'

'a citizen's report of
an 11-81 at Grant and Second.'

'Be on the lookout..
a blue Ford Westbound on Grant.'

'Units responding, identify.'

Aah! What's wrong with you guys?
What did I do?

Put your left hand
on your head.

What's the matter
with you guys?

Stay back! Get back!
Get back!

Aah!

What are you,
stuck for a word?

- No, I was just thinking.
- Huh.

Listen, I'd like
to offer my help

'if you've got a problem
I don't know about. Huh?'

It's a personal thing.

Oh, well,
that I know about.

Are you withdrawing
your offer?

Oh, no, it's just that I
got to go meet my mother.

She's going to buy me
a pair of shoes.

Well, I got these small feet
and everything.

Hey, Harlan,
I understand your feeling

but what we're talking about
here is the truth

so you don't have to make up
some kind of excuse

to save
my feelings, alright?

Just go, but tell
me the truth, alright?

- I am.
- Yeah, well, okay.

My mother always buys my shoes.

Well, he does have small feet.

Looking for
another volunteer?

It's pretty certain that
Wally Bartel

is "The bump
and boost 'em bandit".

Unfortunately, not one
woman could

or would give us
a positive make on the guy.

He's probably home
in time for dinner.

What about the blue Ford?
Any fingerprints?

They haven't
come up with any.

Can't one of you guys
tie him to that car?

I mean, didn't you seem
him get out of it?

We saw him taking off
in the jeep. That's all.

He was in the car.
We know that.

He almost k*lled
that woman.

It's too bad one of you guys
can't lie a little.

Oh, that's funny.

It was meant to be..

...a little.

Yeah, I guess I'm, uh..

Jon, if I was meddling
in your personal affairs

I'd say you are
a little bit out of sync.

We need Marcie's help.

'If she could give it,
I think she would.'

And she can only be helped
if she wants to be

and if she wants to be,
it may be because of you.

Now, that's what I'd say
but I'm not meddling.

Hey, you want somebody
to come along?

Hey, it's my problem.
Alright?

Uh...thanks a lot.

I can't do it.

You were there.
You saw what happened.

Jon...I'm.. I..

...I can't even remember
what story I told.

I can't do it.

Marcie, look, you're
doing a pretty good job

of making me, my boss,
my friends look foolish.

'If I mean anything to you--'

Jon...you mean
everything to me

or I wouldn't even
be listening.

Then hear me.
The man's a felon.

- Oh, Jon..
- 'He's sadistic.'

And he's going to do it
over and over and over again

until he kills somebody..

...unless you just come with me
and tell the simple truth.

So, if I do, who's going
to believe me?

I am!

Well, uh, who am
I going to talk to?

Me.

I mean, there'll be a Sheriff's
investigator there

and the sergeant will be there,
but you'll talk to me.

That's all.

Okay.

And if that's the way
it's got to be

then I'll see you down
there tomorrow morning.

Okay, great.

I know that wasn't
easy for you, Mrs. Williams.

I hope it helps,
what little I could say.

- How about a nice cup of tea?
- That would be nice.

- Do you have chamomile?
- I think so.

I know we've got
jasmine spice.

I just didn't think a thing
like that could happen to me.

Come on.

He offered me a ride on
Santa Monica Boulevard

near Dover Avenue.

Okay, what kind of car was it?
Do you remember that?

I don't know. It was nice,
wasn't it?

'How about
you telling me?'

It was nice.

I think it was blue..

...or green,
I'm not sure.

'Okay, just talk about
what you're sure of.'

Do you remember
what you talked about?

No, I don't remember
anything special.

Did he, did he hint about
anything he was planning to do?

No.

No!

The second I saw
what was happening, I..

I saw him push her or hit her.

I mean, it wasn't
the second that I saw

but I-I-I couldn't
believe it was happening.

Alright, just take it easy.

When he came back
to the car..

...I saw that he had
her purse

and that's
when I ran.

Excuse me, may I put
in something here?

Go ahead.

Is this the only time that you
were ever with Wally Bartel?

What do you mean?

Well, he picks up
a girl hitchhiking

and then commits a blatant crime
with her as a witness..

...not as an accomplice?

- Hey, butt out!
- Ease off.

- Jon, sit down.
- What--

Sit down.

Marcie,
listen to me now.

Okay? Come on.

I just want you
to say everything, okay?

Don't quit now.
Just go on.

Oh, God,
I hit on him for the ride.

He didn't offer.

And I played a game.

I-I started to..

To let him think that..

That I might be easy.

And then he said..

Isaid that..

...that I, um, was
going to Vegas.

And he said that
he would take me.

'And then I..'

I said something
about being broke

and that's when he said he
would get the money for us.

That could explain
the sketch.

Yeah, that checks with what
Mrs. Williams remembers.

And with her statement
and Marcie's

we just might be able to shake
loose some other witnesses.

Just might.

Um..

...Jon.

I'll, uh..
I'll take her home.

You go get him, huh?

You want to go
for a ride?

Well, you bet I do.

Vegas, huh?

- Hey, uh, buddy.
- Yeah?

- Hi, are you ready?
- Hi, Jon.

Come on in.
Let's talk.

I don't think we have to.
This says it all.

Oh, an ad agency
in San Francisco

said I can start tomorrow,
I have a job.

Oh, well, that's
kind of sudden, isn't it?

You're telling me.
It's a personnel shift.

Isn't it great, though?

I don't know. Is it?

Well, it's not that we're going
to be so far apart, you know.

I mean, I know we're
not going to be

seeing much of each other..

Please, Jon, let me off
the hook on this one, okay?

If that's what you want.

- Congratulations.
- Dynamite guy, Jon Baker.

- Well, you will write, right?
- Oh, sure.

Will you send me
some of your artwork?

Oh, you bet.

You know, you're
a dynamite girl.

You..

...that's for real.

'Hey, Marcie..'

...you don't need
any make-believe.

You didn't believe me
for a second, did you?

Jon..

...I need a new beginning.

I need a fresh start.

And if this works out

it's going to be
because of you.

That was always the truth.

Where's Marcie?

Oh, she had this
rich uncle that d*ed

that left her
a $2 million Rembrandt.

She's having it framed.
Where's Barbara?

Uh, well, she was pressing
an old Italian tapestry

and the iron fell
on her foot.

Oh, stood you up, huh?

Yeah.

'You, too?'

Yeah.

Let's get out of here.