01x02 - Yamo

[bunniefuu]

[Arabic music playing]

[Mustafa in Arabic] Go in peace.

My loves, take care of yourselves.

[sniffs]

Dad, why aren't we going together?

Habibi, you, Mom, and your siblings
will be in Houston very soon

with Hakeem Olajuwon.

Listen to me, Hamoodi,
be careful and look out for the family.

[in English] Can I depend on you?

Yes, baba.

[in Arabic] God bless you. That's what
I want to hear. Look what I've got you.

Nothing in this life
breaks that cannot be fixed.

What do you think?
So you can listen to music the entire way.

Thank you, Dad.

May God be pleased with you.
I'll see you soon, habibi.

[engine revving]

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♪ Love it, mane ♪

♪ Twenty-five lighters on my dresser
Yes sir ♪

I got some brand-new Dita Grandmaster Six,

rose gold-plated sunglasses.

See how they feel.

Check it out. Check it out.

Ooh. [Laughing]

Cold, bro.

- You look amazing.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. These, these are it.

Fire, bro. They're classic and timeless.
Just like my whip, bro.

Hey, this ain't classic, it's just old.

[chuckles]

My father gave it to me before he d*ed.

I ain't mean no disrespect…

Look, I can do 50.

- Now you're being disrespectful.
- Hold on.

- You don't deserve these, wasting time.
- Hey, whoa, wait, wait.

- What?
- 100 dollars. Talk to me. 100 dollars.

Getting closer.

- I'll throw in this leather case.
- Okay.

Genuine leather, and this box
with the proper paperwork, 125.

Period. Don't even try it, just say yes.

All right, all right.
Yeah, you got a deal.

- All right.
- Okay, okay. Ooh!

m*therf*ckers can't appreciate classics.

♪ Nothing can stop me
I'm all the way up ♪

♪ All the way up ♪

It's my last one. My last one.

Bam. My last one.

Yo, hook it up.
For real, it's the last one this time.

♪ I'm all the way up ♪

♪ Shorty what you want?
Shorty what you need? ♪

Perpetual motion. It's my last one.

Perpetual motion. With the box.

Last one this time.

♪ Got bottles, got weed… ♪

For real. Last one. Appreciate you.

Oh, sh*t!

[upbeat music playing]

[groans]

Careful. [In Arabic] Be careful, Mom.

[sighs]

- Don't be silly. Can't rub it out.
- [Mom] Son.

I hope this isn't what you're wearing
for the Azza today.

Wait, the Azza is today?

Yes, today. It has been delayed
for over a month. Poor Samia.

Mom, I can't go to the Azza.
I promised Maria we'd go on a picnic.

I went to Abdullah's Bakery,
we have these pastries...

I wish you'd order from Chick'n Cones.
We have perfect picnic selections.

[in Arabic] Look at my son, the romantic,
who wants to take Maria on a picnic.

I don't want to hear that.

Paying respect is a blessing.
You're coming.

We have a variety of cones
that are perfect for a picnic.

[in Arabic] Okay, enough.
For the love of God.

[in English] I'm going to the Azza,
but I'm bringing Maria.

Allah! Girlfriends don't go to Azzas.

What are you trying to do, embarrass me?

Sweet, salty-sweet, buffalo...

You said it's a blessing to go to an Azza.
For Maria to convert, she should come.

- I wish you'd consulted me.
- Next picnic.

[in Arabic] I swear.

[in Spanish] Good afternoon.

[in English] She's been waiting for 20
minutes. Can someone take care of her?

[in Spanish] I'm sorry, Ma'am. Sorry.

[in English] So we got a deal or what?

Yeah, just stop by the shop, okay?
[in Spanish] Why is this still here?

[in English] This had to be done
a week ago.

What happened?

[in English] Who left that stuff in here?
Someone's gonna have an accident.

[in Spanish] All this needs to move
to the back.

f*cking pants. Cover that cr*ck.

This turned out really badass.
Polish it and deliver it to the client.

Very nice.

What's up? Find the part?
Tell the office to order it.

[in English] It's gonna be 2,500
for the day.

Really? Because your boss said 1,800.

[man] Yeah, but she wasn't here
for the full assessment like me, and…

She's not really in charge.

[in Spanish] Screwing the customer over?

No, I'm just factoring in labor and parts,
and this gringo's being a little bitch.

[in English] Sorry, he's new here,
still learning. But I didn't say 1,800,

I said 2,100.

Oh, well, the guy down the street
said he could do it cheaper.

- Which guy?
- His name was José or Carlos?

Yordán, maybe.

[in Spanish] He's just listing Latinos
on the Astros.

Go help the lady with her oil change.

Yes, ma'am.

[in English] This José, Juan, Pedro,
which one, how much was it?

He just said it'd be cheaper.

You didn't get a quote.
The shops here are full of gangsters,

you'd sh*t your pants before getting one.
You want it fixed, it's 2,100, all right?

Excuse me.

[in Spanish] Hey, babe.

Ah!

[in English] What, with your family?

No, I want to go. I'd love to go.
I just need to change. Is that okay?

I'll see you there.

[exhales]

[in Arabic] May he rest in peace. I'm sure
you'll find something to occupy your time.

Yes, I love my children, however,
they're not everything in my life.

- That's not true.
- What?

I know you're trying to cheer me up,
but be real, Yusra.

If you didn't have kids,
what would you do with your life?

[man reciting Quran]

Samia, I would do lots of things.

You take care of them,

and Hamoodi brings home money,
even without papers.

It's beautiful, but what about me?
No papers. No family.

God blessed you with this child.

So much torment.
He'll be with you all his life.

Aunt Samia,

[in English] I'm an adult.
I understand everything you're saying.

I will get married one day.

[in Arabic] What a sense of humor.

[man continues reciting Quran]

[Maria] Hi, baby.

[in Spanish] Hello, love.

[kissing]

- [in English] We can't kiss in here.
- [Maria] What?

I'm so sorry.
I know this is the opposite of a picnic.

I know, but this is real sh*t.
I want to be there for your family.

Maybe I'll finally connect with your mom.

At an Azza? She's way too upset for that.

Uncle Yusuf d*ed.
By the way, legendary card player.

- The Tiger Woods of Tarneeb.
- He was that good, huh?

- Also, he cheated on Aunt Samia a bunch.
- Jesus, Mo!

We say "Isa."

"Isa."

[in Spanish] Sorry.

- Okay, yeah. Okay.
- Come on.

[in Arabic] Peace and blessings.
May God have mercy.

[in English] Mrs. Najjar,
nice to see you again.

[in Arabic] Mo, tell her to cover up.

[in English] Mom is happy you came.

- That's not what she said. She said...
- It's exactly what she said.

Aunt Samia, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Must be really hard to lose him.

[in Arabic] Mohammed is a groom?
Soon you'll have grandchildren too, huh?

No! That's like his sister.
She's just his friend.

- She is beautiful. Lebanese, huh?
- Mexican.

[in Spanish] What are they saying?

They like your dress.

I heard them say "Mexican."

No, only that she wants
to vacation in Mexico City.

Samia.

[in Arabic] Habibti, how are you?

[in English] I'm sorry about Yusuf.
We belong to Allah and to Him we return.

So, Rhonda.

[gasps]

Oh, it's the Najjars. Hi, how are you?
Who is this beautiful lady?

Oh, this is Maria.
This is our immigration attorney, Modad.

The one we've been trying
to get a hold of the last three weeks.

[in Arabic] Habibi, what is it?

[in English] Didn't we talk the other day
about your Taco Cabana lawsuit thing?

How did you come up with that?
What do you mean Taco Cabana?

I have lots on my plate.

- Must have been another Mohammed.
- You have more than one?

Uh, six, maybe seven.

But, Mo, you're my favorite Mohammed.

[in Arabic] It shows.

[in English] I got a letter from
the asylum court. We need to take care...

Now isn't the time to discuss business.
Samia's husband just d*ed. Please.

I'm sorry. Really sorry.

I'll make your case a priority.
The best way to honor your husband.

[in Arabic] Thank you.

[in English] I need the citizenship
to leave this country. Okay?

[in Arabic] Don't worry.
I got you. We'll figure out payment later.

[indistinct swearing]

Her energy even brings the storm.

Has she always been that mean
or is it because her husband d*ed?

No, she's always been that mean, Mom.
Her husband d*ed to get away from her.

Your lawyer's a bit scattered,
don't you think?

- What do you mean "scattered"?
- Like, she's not on top of it.

She's just saying she's busy.
She's gonna take me to the mobile shop.

- Bye, Sameer. Goodbye, Mrs. Najjar.
- Bye, Maria.

- [in Arabic] Send greetings to Rahman.
- God willing. Will do.

[in English] She still thinks
you're at Houston Mobile?

[in Spanish] I'm trying.

[in English] She can handle you getting
sh*t, but not getting fired?

- She fled a w*r.
- Exactly, I don't want to stress her out.

Plus, I have a new interview.

I hope it's with another lawyer.

Listen, you can't criticize Modad
in front of my mom.

Why not?

Because Palestinians,
we're very loyal, we stick together.

- We have a bond.
- She's terrible.

It's not her fault our asylum
keeps getting pushed.

How do you know? How are you so sure?
She doesn't return your calls.

She doesn't have an assistant.
She's very hands-on.

Mo, that's not good.
Professionals have assistants.

She's got like what? A hundred clients?

Thirty. Probably 30.

Thirty? She's got six Mohammeds.

So? I got like 20 Mohammeds
in my phone right now.

Hammad, Abu Hammad, Abu Mohammad.

- How many Josés do you know?
- [Maria] Get in the car.

Don't leave.
I don't wanna mess up my curls.

[instrumental music playing]

[Mo] Hey, man, I know aikido,
jiu jitsu, taekwondo, tai chi.

I've been doing meditation techniques.

I've mastered
the Filipino art form Kali sticks.

- Helps with sword fighting...
- We don't need that sh*t.

I'm not coming here
wearing all blacked-out…

Just spittin' darts at people to…

[mimes spitting] I'm not doing any that.
Just giving you options.

We need a bouncer.
Do you know anything about strip clubs?

I know everything about strip clubs, bro.
Three feet, don't touch the girls.

Everybody pays their tab,
nobody gets rowdy.

I'm really good at assessing situations,
if somebody's tipsy, I see trouble coming.

I'll neutralize them
before problems happen.

I can even DJ for you if you want.
"On the main stage, it's Chastity."

Yeah, I like that. You Mexican?

No, I'm not Mexican. No, but I'm Arab.

But I speak Spanish. Yeah.

[in Spanish] Hi, how are you? Sit down
right here. I'd like a beer, please.

- You don't have papers, do you?
- I mean…

Say less. Wouldn't be our first illegal,
but you'd be our first Arab.

And that would be
a historic hire for us here at Dreams.

And that's something
you should be proud of.

Mm… [smacks tongue]

Glad I could break
that glass ceiling for you.

I still have an interview
with a Samoan. All right.

Right. I can start tonight if you want.

No, I'll give you a call. Yeah. My man.

[phone rings]

Pick up.

[phone rings]

[voicemail] Hi, you've reached Rhonda...

Unbelievable.

[TV anchor] Okay. Carol, your spin.

- [Yusra] Mama, where are you going?
- Oh, I'm gonna go watch the birds.

Habibi?

[Sameer] Yeah?

I have an active life, right?

Yeah, of course, you do, Mama.
You've got a beautiful life.

- Really?
- [Sameer] Yeah.

- How?
- Well, you…

You drive me to work.
You cook for me and Hamoodi.

You do the groceries.

Um, you… you do the laundry.

Oh!

And you got the lamp collection.

[in Arabic] Enough.

[in English] Go to your birds.

[somber music playing]

[keyboard clacking]

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

- [in Arabic] Yes, Mom?
- Hi, son.

[in English] I need you to get me olive.

- You want me to get what?
- [Yusra] I need raw olives today.

- Where do I get them from?
- Don't worry. I googled the address.

- You what?
- [Yusra] Googled...

[in Arabic] Enough.

I'll send the address, just go there.

Yes, ma'am.

Yap, yap, yap,
like a little dog, that one.

Habibti, my most important client
just walked in.

[in Arabic] Yes, okay, bye.

[in English] The most important client
has to hunt you like a debt collector?

Mo, I'm so glad you're here.
I just talked to the Taco Cabana lawyer...

I didn't sue Taco Cabana!
What's wrong with you?

I didn't slip on salsa. It's not me!

Right, right, the court letter. My God!
I remember now. Well, did you bring it?

Of course I did.

[in Arabic] Okay, habibi, okay.

[music playing]

[sighs]

Mm.

Mm-hm.

- Ah.
- Mm.

"Mm. Esh." What?

Oh, oh, it's nothing.
We just have to file a few legal things.

That's why I'm here.
Legal things. Do it now.

[Modad] Okay, okay.

Mmm.

Let me see. [Grunts]

[sighs]

-Mohammed Ali, Mohammed Hadim,
-What's happening?

- Mohammed Omar, 'Ha med…
- That's more than six Mohammeds.

Najjar, Mo.

Oof. Ah. I need a massage.

[sighs]

- Let me see.
- [Mo] There are two pieces of paper.

There's three people in the case,
and you have two pieces of paper?

Habibi, I swear,

I can't find your brother's application,
but it's okay. It's fine.

We'll Xerox yours and change the name.

Modad, how many clients do you have?

[in Arabic] Give or take…

- [in English] Two hundred or so.
- Two hundred?

How the f*ck did you get
200 clients in this incense shop?

And where did this lady come from?

She sprout from the floorboards,
saging everyone?

[in Arabic] Habibi, she's a healer.
It's all vibes.

[in English]
This whole place is an oxymoron.

You're saying hamdulillah.
There's some weird God stuff.

[in Arabic] God forgive me.

[in English] You don't even have
a secretary, but you hired a vibes lady?

It's okay. I have Siri.

- You're fired.
- What?

I'm done with this sh*t.

[in Arabic] Mo, what are you doing?
Hear me out.

I know that you're in the system,

but without a lawyer,
ICE can detain you for weeks.

Weeks? Takes me weeks
to get a hold of you.

- [Modad] Mohammed, no… What're you doing?
- [in English] And what the f*ck is this?

I'll have to get a new favorite Mohammed.

[music continues]

[phone rings]

Rhonda Modad, attorney at law.

[vibrant music playing]

We don't sell olives to the public,
we're a wholesale supplier, but…

At least you asked.

g*dd*mn thieves
been stealing my crop all season.

[Mo] Where I come from,
olive theft is a huge problem, too.

- Yeah? Where's that?
- Palestine.

- Damn. That's a few hours away.
- Not Palestine, Texas.

Palestine. You know,
land of milk and honey.

- Uh, Israel, Manny, Israel.
- Oh. Shalom.

Yeah, it's a real branding issue.

You know, they make these olive trackers.
Look like the real thing.

- No sh*t?
- You put them on the trees.

Like a security system.
It's real beautiful out here, man.

Thank you. This place has been
in my family five generations.

- Oh, you don't say.
- Here.

- These are on me. For the tracking tip.
- [groans]

Great. You know my mama
is gonna really appreciate these.

You're so generous.
Thank you so much, buddy.

- You come back and see us.
- [Mo] Yes.

Does nobody shake hands anymore?
I'd rather you slapped my ass.

[in Arabic] Peace be upon you.

[kisses] And unto you peace.
[in English] You got me my olives.

[in Arabic] May God bless you.

[in English] That olive farm is beautiful.
Not as beautiful as back home but nice.

[in Arabic] Nothing compares
to the Old Country.

Of course.

[in English]
You're making olive oil again?

Son, olive oil brings light,
and I want to lighten up my life.

[in Arabic] Hallelujah!

[in English] I'm looking forward to
that olive oil with Zaatar and pastries.

[laughing]

[in Arabic] All of it.

Um…

[in English] I have something to tell you.

[in Arabic] Oh God.

[sighs]

[in English] Maria's pregnant?

With twins.

[sighs, groans]

No, it's not that.

I fired Modad.
I'll find us a better option.

I'll handle it.

Because of Maria, huh?

Yes. No. Kind of.

[in Arabic] That's it.

[in English] How many years without any
progress? Loyalty has its limits. Good.

[in Arabic] You approve of Maria?

- Forget it. I wanna work, get out.
- All right, okay.

[in English] Give me my space.

♪ Oh, Mother, oh, Mother ♪

♪ Of tenderness, oh, Mother ♪

♪ Oh, Mother, oh, Mother ♪

♪ Of tenderness, oh, Mother ♪

♪ Nine months that you carried me ♪

♪ And after you went through hell
To deliver me ♪

♪ And I tortured you
While you were raising me ♪

♪ I've lost the morals
That you taught me, Mother ♪

♪ Oh, Mother, oh, Mother ♪

♪ Of love, oh, Mother ♪

[Arabic music continues]

♪ No matter what I do, Mom
I never give you your dues ♪

♪ And only God can give you your dues ♪

♪ Grant me your blessings
From your heart and forgive me ♪

♪ May God give you a long life
And keep you with me ♪

♪ Oh, Mother, oh, Mother ♪

[phone rings]

- Hello?
- Hey, this is Rich from Dreams.

[groans]

[Rich] We need a DJ if you're ready.

- Oh, yeah, I'm born ready.
- [Rich] Born ready? Get your ass up here.

My bad. I'll be right there.

Huh…

[soft music playing]

Mmm!

[Rich] Appreciate you coming
in last minute.

I know you came for the bouncer job,
but the DJ f*cked us.

- There's more money in this anyway.
- Happy to play for the Dream Team.

Yeah, well, the list is on the clipboard.
And, Mo, don't go talking that crazy sh*t.

- Nobody comes to a strip club for the DJ.
- Let's see if we can change that.

- All right. I appreciate you.
- All right. Appreciate you.

- [Rich] Make that money.
- Okay.

[upbeat music playing]

How y'all doing out there?
Welcome to Dream Cabaret.

The next dancer coming to the stage,
she's not Toyota. She's not Nissan.

She is all German and all luxury.
Please give it up for Mercedes!

Get to the front of that stage and throw
them dollars out at them ladies.

The next dancer coming to the stage,
with a master's in clapping that ass.

- Please give it up for Raven!
- [audience laughing]

Help her pay off her student loans.
Come on, take those dollar bills out.

Get the money you saved
for your kid's college education.

All right. All right.

[audience whistling]

[Mo] Oh, sh*t!

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

- What you doing down there?
- ICE, man. They catch us, we're f*cked.

You talking about Earl and Gene?

They come every week
trying to get their dicks sucked.

They ain't here for you. Check it. Earl!

Take your jacket off!
You're scaring m*therf*ckers in here.

What's wrong with you, man?

- Can you get your d*ck sucked here?
- Stop being a bitch. Back to work!

[engine revving]

Yo, open up.

Yo, Chien!

[door rattling]

- Mo? That's you?
- [Mo] Stop f*cking around.

[knocking]

- Chien, it's Mo.
- [Chien] All right. Chill out, man.

[keys jingling]

Come on. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
Get in here, man. Making all that noise.

[Mo] Why do you have a sledgehammer?
Looking like an Asian Bob the Builder.

- Man, I thought you were someone else.
- Who?

Why are you walking in here
smelling like cigarettes and… [sniffles]

What is that, failure?

- I ain't got time for this. Hook me up.
- Another bottle? I just gave you three.

I don't need a lecture from you.
Hook it up. Take the f*cking money.

It's not even about the money.

About money my ass,
you took that f*cking money.

♪ I'm sippin' codeine ♪

♪ It makes a south side play a lean ♪

♪ Stackin' green ♪

♪ Steady stackin' green
Steady sippin' codeine ♪

♪ Screwed Up Click ♪

♪ Representing H-town and I'm with it ♪

♪ It's goin' down ♪

♪ Representin' that south side
Of that H-town ♪

♪ It's big Mo ♪

♪ I've never been a ho
Sippin' on potent fo' ♪

♪ I'm playin' lame ♪

♪ I keep a tight ball face
Sippin' syrup in the shade ♪

♪ Now it's so big ♪

♪ New salsa, players were born to grid ♪

♪ And we like to sway ♪

♪ Steady swayin' and bangin'
Rollin' with that wood grain ♪

[boy yells]