06x16 - Fox Trap

[bunniefuu]

(SIRENS WAILING)

- (CLATTERING)
- (TIRES SCREECHING)

See, my people in Hong Kong, they won't
wait much longer. They need new talent.

I might have just
what you're looking for.

(SINGING)

CAMILLE: It's simply fabulous.

And soon it will be ours.

Pocket bikes? What are they?

Hot stuff. Incredibly
small power cycles.

Something's going
down, Sarge! I can feel it.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

There's gotta be better
duties for us, Ponch.

This is cadet work.

Hey, Hot Dog, a duty's a duty.

SARAH: Hello, California.

How's everybody feelin' this
morning? Come back here, you.

Come on, I'm gonna sing for
you this morning, come on in.

(CROWD APPLAUDING)

We got a little eye
opener for you this mornin'.

- And on bass we have Dee Dee!
- Yeah!

On keyboards, Louise!

(CROWD CHEERS)

- And I'm Sarah.
- WOMAN: Sarah!

And we are the Cadillac Foxes!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

(BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)

(RHYTHMIC CLAPPING)

(SARAH SINGING LAURA
BRANIGAN SONG "GLORIA")

(CONTINUES SINGING)

Vandalism strikes again.

Maybe not.

Your everyday vandal
would've just cut the wires.

Yeah, you're right, but these have
been disconnected and crossed.

Somebody sure
went to a lot of trouble.

(SINGING CONTINUES
IN THE DISTANCE)

(VAN HONKS)

Hey, hey!

Police! Hey, these guys
are stealing my truck!

Police!

Hey, help me! These
two guys, they, uh...

I was making this delivery
and they just got in my van...

Let's roll, now!

(SIRENS WAILING)

SWEETS: It's the
heat, Mr. DeJardine!

I've got ears, Sweets. Just
get them onto the main road.

I've got an idea
how to lose them.

SWEETS: I'll cut
through the mall.

- (WOMAN SCREAMS)
- (CROWD EXCLAIMS)

- Look out! Are you crazy or something?
- (HONKING)

LA-15-MARY-6 and 7, we
have an 11-82 at Oak and Pine.

They're right on our
tail, Mr. DeJardine.

Just keep moving.

(CLATTERING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Call an ambulance and get
some help for these people.

LA-15... (WHOOPING)

Oh, you really took care of them,
Mr. DeJardine. That was great!

That was unnecessary.

Now, get back on Lincoln
and drop me off as planned.

Look, I'm sorry about
the horn, all right?

It's just that, uh...

This is my first time wheeling for a
world-class jewel thief like yourself.

Now, I don't want to pry,
but, uh, what did we just steal?

I don't get it.

Neither will the police.

Sarge, there's
something going down.

We'd just like to go back
there and talk to these girls.

They might've gotten a
good look at the van's driver.

By the "girls" do you
mean the Cadillac Foxes

who were rock and rolling in a
pink convertible on the street?

(CHUCKLES) Oh, I can imagine
what this follow-up is all about.

Sarge, the van nearly creamed
them. They had to have seen him.

Oh! They're vital
to the case, huh?

Absolutely.

Sarge, they are.

Frank, you and Officer Nelson,
you talked to the van's driver,

you've written your report.

Now you're gonna go
on patrol in West LA,

because that's your assignment.

Sarge, there's too many
coincidences. Read between the lines.

A signal light is taken out to create
a traffic jam and slow down pursuit.

A phony delivery to a
vacant alley address.

And then the van turns
up, abandoned and half full!

- It all adds up.
- To a stolen vehicle.

One of which is stolen every
29 seconds in the United States.

Ponch, I got the inventory list
from the delivery company's van.

- How'd it come out?
- Interesting.

Two pocket bikes that were
being delivered to a test institute,

they're unaccounted for.

Pocket bikes? What are they?

Hot stuff. Incredibly
small power cycles.

Super maneuverable.

Something's going
down, Sarge! I can feel it.

All right, all right.

You've got your
investigation, but I want results.

You got it.

Excuse me.

- Hey, lookin' sharp, Grossie.
- Huh?

What's with the suit?

Oh, you're not gonna
believe this, but this afternoon,

I'm going to audition as a contestant
on The Million-Dollar Question quiz show.

- All right! You're a natural, guy.
- You know everything.

- Here's my trivia book, Grossie.
- Great.

Just hope he remembers us
when he becomes a millionaire.

- See you guys later.
- All right.

The million dollar question for us
right now is finding the Cadillac Foxes.

I'm ready for it.

(SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)

(TURNS OFF RADIO)

Terrific! Really, really
super. I really like it.

The lead vocals
especially, they're really hot.

Well, that's me.

- Great pipes.
- Thank you.

I know. I was a singer myself.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Here he comes now. Come on.

- Go on, Sarah.
- Well, hello, dolls. The King has arrived.

- Mr. King, Mr. King, we'd like to...
- Hi.

Mr. King, we'd like a chance to
audition for you. We're the Cadillac Foxes.

Why don't you listen
to our tape here?

Cadillac Foxes? Is that
the name of the group?

Never heard of you. Come on, I
can't afford to book untried bands, right?

Whoa, whoa, ho, ladies!
Hey, sweetheart, a little PMA.

You know what that is? That's
called Positive Mental Attitude.

You gotta keep
your sunny side up.

Hey, listen. We're
not untried, okay?

- We've played all over town!
- Yeah, I bet you have.

Here's a tape of us
live at the Purple Grill.

(SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)

Not bad.

I'll be right back, all right?

- You all look good, too.
- (CHUCKLES) Thanks.

- (CAR HONKING ON RADIO)
- (TURNS OFF RADIO)

Actually, it's us live
outside the Purple Grill.

We've been playing
on the streets.

We really need a break!

That's okay. We'll see, okay?

Hey, how you doing?

Hey, sorry those girls didn't work
out, but, uh, you know, what could I do?

I don't think you're
trying very hard, Jerry.

Well, I'll keep looking.

Yeah, well, you better. I mean, if
you wanna keep running this club.

You got obligations, Jerry.

See, my people in Hong Kong,
they won't wait much longer.

- They need new talent.
- I know.

Hey, you know what?

I might have just what
you're looking for, huh?

Times three. Let me
see if I can work it out.

Okay?

Hey, come on. (LAUGHS)

All right now, ladies, the King is
working here, the King is working.

Have you ever done any swimming

- during traveling, anything like that?
- Swimming? No.

- What's the name of your group again?
- The Cadillac Foxes!

- I think I just booked 'em to Hong Kong.
- (SCREECHING) What?

Oh, my God! I knew
it! I knew it, I knew it!

- Oh, my God, we're going!
- (GIRLS SCREAMING EXCITEDLY)

- You ever been there?
- Are you serious?

- Don't do it, Jerry!
- Why don't you split, honey.

Girl, I thought you
were our friend.

Jerry, come on,
please, don't do it.

Listen, we're dying to
work, okay! Come on!

Have you ever been to Hong Kong?

LOUISE: Tell us
more, tell us more!

You've never been there, huh?

Now, it's the whole
thing. There's a whole tour.

Taipei, Hong Kong, Thailand.

SARAH: (EXCITEDLY)
We won't let you down.

KING: All the
guys are this small.

You're driving like you know
where you're going, Ponch.

Hey, Bobby, I'm an
experienced investigator.

Basics say, go back to
the scene of the crime.

But they'll never
still be there.

It's the place to start.

It's not like you're just gonna
see 'em running down the street.

DEE DEE: Come on, stop!
SARAH: Stop, you thief!

(GIRLS SHOUTING)

So much for basics.

GIRLS: Help, help!

- Help, help, stop!
- Please!

Stop, you thief!

Wait a minute. Hey, you!

- Stop!
- That's our car!

DEE DEE: Stop! Stop!

- Hurry.
- Our car.

- Sir, that's our car.
- Hey!

He's stealing our
wheels, Officers!

You're not gonna let
him take it, are you?

We'll straighten it out.

It was illegally parked in
a tow-away zone, Officer.

It was not parked, it was stuck.

- We just need a charge.
- Our battery's dead.

I guess we shouldn't have
plugged our guitars into it.

Listen, do you remember
that delivery van this morning?

Did you get a good
look at the driver?

Does Elvis rock?

We'd like you to help us ID him.

Oh, boy, you sure know
how to ruin a girl's day.

Listen, we got a whole
ton of shopping to do.

And practicing.

And we're leaving for
Hong Kong this week!

What am I gonna do,
Officer? I got other calls.

Tow it to CHP Central.
Take them with you.

- What?
- Don't worry. You need your car, right?

Well, we'll take it down to the
Central garage, charge it up,

and you can come inside and
help us out. Is that a fair deal?

Hey, I like this guy.

Wanna be our manager?

Do I get to sing with you, too?

If you can cut it.

(WHISPERING)
It's simply fabulous.

(EXHALES) And
soon it will be ours.

Fifty-five seconds on
the nose, Mr. DeJardine.

(CAMILLE LAUGHS)

Perfect timing, darling.

Then we the transfer to the
Rolls, and we're home free.

The famous DeJardines.

Say, Mr. DeJardine, if you're
through with me, I'd like to split.

Fine.

But be at this address
at 9:00 a.m. sharp.

Oh, no sweat.

(CAMILLE SIGHS)

It's so hard to find
good help these days.

- Okay, let's get the bikes.
- Okay.

SARAH: Yeah, the eyes are wrong.

- Yeah, they were tougher.
- Tougher?

Yeah, darker, sexier.

But not as hot as yours.

I like soft eyes myself.

Yeah, me, too.

Poncherello, I'd like to know what
you think you're doing over there.

Sarge, these are
the Cadillac Foxes.

Yeah, well, I kinda
thought they were.

How about this guy? It fits.

Yeah, that's him,
that's the baddie.

Yeah, but he's
missing something.

Luther "Sweets" Collier.

Small change wheel man.

It fits.

There was at least one
other person in that van.

There's brains behind
this operation, Sarge.

Brains, an organ
of the human body,

normally weighing between
1.3 and 1.5 kilograms.

Accounting for 2%
of total body weight.

- Okay, inventor of the zipper?
- Whitcomb L. Judson.

He's right. Wait!

Is he some kind of android, or
just a heavy-duty encyclopedia?

No, that's Officer Grossman.

He's a contestant on The
Million-Dollar Question.

Wait, I got it!

He had an earring on
his left ear, a little one.

Earring. Like that?

- That's it. That's the baddie!
- Yeah, that's him. Yeah.

You got a good memory, Sarah.

Thanks. Comes from
having to remember lyrics.

Ah!

If the Cadillac Foxes are finished,
their pink wonder is ready to go.

- Thanks, Harlan.
- Soon, please.

It's clashing with
everything in my garage.

So, listen, do you
cops work all night?

No, we're human.

Uh, very.

Great, 'cause we're playing
at the Rock World tonight.

You just gotta come, Ponch.
You could sit in for a number.

Hey, your off-hours
is your own business,

but for now, let's get an APB out on
this Collier fellow. Let's hit the streets.

SARAH: See you tonight, boys.

(BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)

(SARAH SINGING LAURA BRANIGAN
SONG "DOWN LIKE A ROCK")

SARAH: Come on up, Ponch.

Come on.

(PONCH SINGING)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

All right!

- They're good, Jerry.
- Yeah, so?

- Really good, and they're nice girls...
- Hey, come on.

I don't want it any worse than you
do, but if we don't come through, right?

Ackerman's gonna
make this place disappear.

Now, come on, you don't
want that, sweetie, right?

Hey, now, girls. Now
that is a fine, smooth set.

Yeah, you're gonna be
fine. A little more rehearsing.

- Really?
- KING: Sure.

Talking to the King, the
man with a golden ear.

Jerry, I'd like you to
meet some friends.

- This is Ponch.
- Hey, Poncho. (SNAPS FINGERS)

- That's Bobby.
- Bobby.

- And that's Bruce.
- Brucey.

(KING CHUCKLES)

Come on, girls, let
me take you for a drink.

Great! Rock and roll needs fuel.

They're a terrific band,
Mr. King. You're a lucky man.

Yeah, well, I get a lot of pleasure
breaking in new acts, you know.

- Where are they going to be playing?
- Do you know the Orient?

No? There's a circuit
there. Hong Kong, Taipei...

Well, I don't have their
whole itinerary on me,

so, if you guys are
worried, don't be.

BRUCE: When are
they gonna be back?

Dude, I'm telling you, you
don't get it? (CHUCKLES)

Boyfriends' interrogation
week or what?

They're gonna be long
gone, you know, a long time.

I suggest you, uh, boys get
yourselves some new main squeezes.

Do you have an address
where we can write to them?

You write to
me, I'll forward it.

You be good, real good.

Hey, I'm telling you,
now, you girls were great.

You know, one thing
about being a cop.

It sure is hard to turn it off
when you're back in civvies.

Welcome to the patrol.

There's something about
this guy I just don't like.

Yeah, his handshake,
for starters.

When the tour's over, we're
gonna go, we're gonna go, right?

- It's gonna be a beautiful day.
- It sure is.

- Drive careful now.
- You bet.

LA-15-MARY-11, request backup.

Have felony suspect under
surveillance near Crenshaw and Addison.

Request Code 2 backup.

MARY-11, MARY-6 and 7
responding from Saticoy and Addison.

ETA, two minutes.

(SIRENS WAILING)

- (TIRES SCREECHING)
- MAN: Hey, watch out!

- Are you hurt?
- No, Officer. I'm fine, I'm fine.

I always wear my
seatbelt. I'm fine.

- All right, let's get out of the car.
- I'm okay.

Hey, I think we got ourselves
Luther "Sweets" Collier here.

- I don't know nothing.
- Oh, sure you do.

You can start with
the pocket bikes.

Up against the car,
hands over your head.

Nice going.

Hi, darling.

What happened? What are
you doing here with the truck?

Well, our young
Mr. Sweets never showed up.

I told you guys 100 times, I don't
know anything about any pocket bikes!

I was in Tijuana yesterday!

No way!

Sweets, we got three
witnesses that can identify you.

Come on.

Now, who are you
driving for, huh?

You can't touch that.

Hey, relax. Just, come on, come
on. Just relax, all right? I'm not.

Don't give that dummy anything!

Hey, Bobby, Sweets
is a wheel man.

Show some respect, will ya.

Here.

Go on.

Listen, don't mind my partner.

- He's young and impatient.
- (CHUCKLES)

Wants results.

Me, I like to get
the whole picture.

I really feel for you, man.

Forget it, he's finished.

Yeah, I know he is.

That's why I feel sorry.

Here, have another one.

No, no. No, thank you.

Come on, take it.

Take 'em all. Because you're
sure not getting any at Folsom!

Oh, come on! There's no
way I'm gonna go to max!

That's the sad part.

You're just the wheel man,
but you're gonna do all the time.

While your boss is free.

And he won't even
remember your name!

You're probably
right about them.

I'm just garbage to them.

To who?

The DeJardines.

- Okay, park the car at 8th.
- Okay.

- Wait till 11:00.
- Hmm.

Then get a taxi
to the hotel, okay?

Okay.

- I'll be waiting, love.
- All right.

(EXHALES)

That's the smile of success.

Good cop/bad cop
pays off again, Sarge.

- It was beautiful.
- What'd you get?

The DeJardines.

Hey, I'm impressed. First team, all
world jewel thieves. What are they after?

Well, Sweets didn't know much, but
he did know it was going down today.

All right. Let's move on it.
Run the make and distribute it.

Okay, you got it.

Hey, Kathy!

Did you do that confidential
check for me on Jerry King?

I did it for ya, and I
did it for your partner,

and your partner's brother, so
it's hardly confidential anymore.

- KATHY: Ask Bruce.
- Well, how's it going, guys?

- The Brothers Buttinsky.
- But aren't you glad we did?

A lot of dirty ink.

He's been arrested for drug trafficking
and selling liquor without a license.

- Any convictions?
- No.

Oh, still bad news.
We gotta work harder.

- They leave tonight.
- I know it's none of our business,

but is there any way
we could stop 'em?

Hey, hold on, how
can they leave?

We may still need them as
witnesses on the DeJardine case.

Right, and if this King guy is for
real, he could wait a day or two.

Yeah, what I'd like to know is

how the DeJardines fit
in with the pocket bikes.

- Somewhere with rare gems.
- Rare gems.

The five most valuable are diamonds,
emeralds, sapphires, rubies and pearls.

- He got every one.
- Come on, guys, try me on any category.

Grossman, why don't you get out there
on your motor and try law enforcement.

Sarge, I'm not gonna
study the easy ones.

Hey, Grossie, where are the rarest
gems in Los Angeles right now?

Uh, the LA Museum has a
very big diamond collection.

There's the downtown
diamond mart.

Oh, the Moonstone Emerald's on display
this weekend at the Harbor Castle Hotel.

Any Beverly Hills
jewelry shop...

You know, which reminds
me. Did you know that jewelry

was first invented
in the Stone Age?

Hey, Grossie,
that's good enough.

Come on, we'll talk to the
girls on our way downtown.

SARAH: What do we do
when we get back from the tour?

- Hey, look who's here! Look who's here.
- DEE DEE: Look, Bobby!

(WHOOPS)

SARAH: What's going on?

Wait, wait! Help us! Help us!

What happened? Did
somebody give away the store?

Nope. Jerry gave us an
advance on our first week's salary.

DEE DEE: And afterwards he took us
out for dim sum and Chinese noodles.

- He's so great.
- LOUISE: He's the ultimate!

I'm so glad you came by. I
wanted to say goodbye to you.

PONCH: Well, we had an
ulterior motive for coming.

We caught Sweets Collier.

We may need you all as
witnesses in the next few days.

This is a vamp, right?

We're going to
Hong Kong tonight!

I'm sure Mr. King
will understand.

It's a valid reason.

And I was just
starting to dig you, too.

Ponch, you can't really
make us stay, can you?

No, technically we can't.

But, Sarah, what do you really
know about Jerry King, anyway?

- He's our angel.
- But he's got a record.

Do you know how to
mind your own business?

Cops!

Look, I know you really
care. I like that. I really do.

But a break like this doesn't
come along every day.

I'll send you a
postcard every week.

Here you go.

Good luck.

Just think, darling, the Moonstone
Emerald is in the room directly above us.

Voilà.

Darling, you better get
dressed. We're on a timetable.

Bernard, I know.

And I know how well you've
planned this whole thing out.

But I still don't like the fact that
Mr. Sweets has disappeared.

Sweets knows nothing, love.

And we...

We will be long gone before
the police even stumble into this.

(LAUGHS)

Darling, I have
married a genius.

Thank you. I
appreciate your concern.

But this show has been carefully
planned with security in mind.

I like to think
we're theft-proof.

We're on the top floor, and
when the jewel case is broken,

a pressure-plate alarm goes
off, locking the elevator door.

The guards in the
lobby have been alerted.

Now please...

Times are tough.

Even for the rich.

So much for Grossie's list.

Well, we still got
to hit the museums.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

It's the DeJardines.
We better get back up.

No, we better get out and use
the stairs, the elevator will lock!

On your faces, hands
behind your heads.

(ALARM BLARING)

Let's move!

(CAR HONKING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

We lost them again.

Let's check out this truck. It must
have been set here on purpose.

Yeah, that's for sure.

This guy is smart.

Maybe not so smart.

What shall we drink to, darling?

To a safe passage home and to
the glorious and well-earned vacation.

(DOORBELLS CHIMES)

Are we expecting anyone?

Definitely not.

Well, if it's the neighbor,
darling, will you get some ice?

This is hardly chilled.

Good morning, Mr. DeJardine.
We've been looking for you.

- Who is it, darling?
- The police. Run!

Oh!

- (SIGHS)
- I'll take this, thank you.

Well, my dear, I believe
we've been caught.

Couldn't you at least
have been the FBI?

California Highway Patrol.

Now, how did you, of
all people, catch us?

Always pay attention
to your parking ticket.

BRUCE: Ponch! Bobby!

What's wrong?

I just heard from Webster. The Captain's
waiting to congratulate us personally.

I just spoke to a motorcycle
buddy of mine in Hong Kong.

- He knows about Jerry King.
- He knows what?

He's running with a bad crowd. A
drug ring, white sl*very, the works.

- Did you try to reach the girls?
- They're gone.

I checked the airport for
reservations, but came up blank.

What about the Rock World?

I spoke to King's girlfriend,
Darla, but she was no help.

Maybe it'll take
the personal touch.

Bobby, you do the
honors with the DeJardines.

Bruce, you come with me.

- Hello.
- Hi, we're looking for Jerry King.

Oh, gosh, Jerry's out.

Uh, where? We're trying
to reach the Cadillac Foxes.

I don't know where he is.

You know what's going to happen to
those girls when they get to Hong Kong?

- No.
- BRUCE: Let me guess.

After a two-week gig, their
contract ends, they're broke,

and discover their ticket
back is only good one way.

PONCH: Yeah, but
a friend of Jerry King's

can always use a few desperate
girls in a foreign country.

And he supplies
them, for a price!

- You want us to go on?
- No!

Look, you don't
know the half of it.

You don't know how much
you hate yourself for it.

But you have to survive.

I was one of Ackerman's girls.

But Jerry came and
he took me back.

And he loves me.

And I love him.

How can you?

You don't understand,
you don't know him.

He doesn't want
to send those girls.

He's in over his head
with all the wrong people.

Then you better help him, lady.

And you better help
him before it's too late.

Now, how does he get
'em out of the country?

Ackerman has a
boat in the marina.

He takes them down
to Mexico, and...

From there, he flies them out.

Thanks.

(GIRLS HUMMING)

What, are you crazy?

- Where'd you find these broads from?
- (GIRLS LAUGHING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Hey, I wonder who
those cops are after, man.

SARAH: I don't believe it, it's
Ponch! LOUISE: And Bruce!

DEE DEE: Bobby!

- What, your boyfriends are cops? Man.
- Why? You got something to hide?

Shut up!

- How'd they find out about us?
- Darla!

- Stop this car! Stop it!
- Get off me! Crazy broad.

- (SARAH GRUNTS)
- Get out of here!

- Hey, take it easy, will ya!
- What are you, crazy?

- Woman!
- Are you trying to get us k*lled or what?

- Jerry, take the wheel.
- Come on, take it easy!

(GIRLS GRUNTING AND STRUGGLING)

(HONKS)

SARAH: Get him!

(HONKING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Take it easy.

Would you take it easy?

KING: Take it easy!

- All right!
- KING: Move an elbow!

All right!

ACKERMAN: Why
don't you take it easy?

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

(GIRLS GRUNTING)

Come on. All right,
we got it. Calm down.

- All right, let's go.
- Put your hands on your head.

We've got a lovely
ex-singer named Darla

who's signed a nasty complaint
against a Mr. Ackerman.

How could she do that to me?

Because she loves you, man.

So, our big break turns
out to be a big bust.

Oh, no.

Our big break was meeting
Ponch and Bobby and Bruce.

Hey, thanks.

Thanks.

You sure you don't
want to be our manager?

No, thank you.

Being your friend is
excitement enough.

All right, for $1 million, Artie
Grossman, here is your final question.

Selected at random by our computer,
the category is Law Enforcement.

- (ALL CHEERING)
- Hey, all right!

Is Grossie lucky or what!

There's no way he
can get this wrong.

When a policeman reads
a wrongdoer his right,

the wrongdoer receives the
guarantees of the Miranda decision.

For $1 million,

name one of the rights
guaranteed by the Miranda decision.

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

The Miranda decision?

(CHUCKLES) That's incredible!

I use it 10 times a month.

I have it pasted right
in here in my workbook.

Time is running, Artie.
One of those rights.

- "You have the right to remain silent."
- "The right to a counsel."

"The right to know
that anything you say

"can and will be used
against you in court."

"The right to know if you
can't afford an attorney,

"one will be appointed by
the Court." Even I know that!

It's incredible. It's
so simple, really.

The Miranda decision?

Three seconds, Artie!

Come on, Grossman.

Grossie.

Come on!

You have the right
to, uh... Be wrong!

- (TIMER BUZZING)
- (ALL GROAN)

Grossman.

(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry, Artie.

"The right to be
wrong"? What is that?

The Grossman decision.

(CHUCKLES)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)