05x02 - The Evans Get Involved: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Good Times". Aired: February 8, 1974, to August 1, 1979.*
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A spin-off of Maude, which itself is a spin-off of All in the Family, making Good Times the first television spin-off from another spin-off; revolving around a poor family making the best of things in the Chicago housing projects.
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05x02 - The Evans Get Involved: Part 2

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♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪

All right, Penny,
we have to go now.

Say goodbye to
these nice people.

Goodbye, everybody.

Mrs. Gordon, wait.

We couldn't help but notice

all those bruises
on Penny's back.

Oh, those. Penny's
at the awkward age.

She's always falling
down. Isn't that true, dear?

Didn't you fall down?

Uh... uh-huh. One
time I fell out of the tree

and I landed on my pussycat
and, uh, I squished him.

That pussycat sure
leads a tough life.

Uh, what about the
burn on her arm?

I told them I bumped
into a stove, Mama.

You know, I have told
Penny a dozen times

to stay away from
that stove, but she...

That stove should be locked
up before it kills somebody.

Thank you for having Penny
over. Bye. THELMA: Bye-bye, now.

"Isn't it true, dear?
Didn't you fall down?"

Who does that sucker
think she's foolin'?

Yeah, if she fell, her
mother helped her down.

Now wait a minute, J.J., why
are you accusing her mother?

What?

Maybe Penny's telling the truth.

Yeah, and maybe Andrew
Young's afraid to open his mouth.

J.J., we have no proof.
Penny said she fell.

You'd say you fell down, too,

if your mother was Muhammad Ali.

Oh, that poor child.
Black is beautiful,

but not when it's
black and blue.

Yeah, it's tough enough living in
the ghetto when you're in one piece.

J.J., I read that child abuse

doesn't only
happen in the ghetto.

I mean, rich parents abuse
their kids, too, you know.

Yeah, but rich people
don't have to do the beatin'.

They get their
chauffeurs to do it for 'em.

Hi, everybody. Hey, big man,

how's the carnival goin'?

Crazy. Did you get the chairs

from Ferguson's Mortuary?

No, Thelma. Mr. Ferguson
rented them out last night

for a Weight Watchers meeting.

And today they're all being
glued back together again.

Boy, leave it to that
Ferguson to turn a quick buck.

Gramps, why don't
you try the church.

They'll let you borrow
some chairs. Yeah.

You know, I never realized
there'd be so many problems

in putting a carnival together.

The prizes haven't come
yet, and the guy we hired

as the security guard
is in the slammer. Why?

Well, he got
arrested for writing

obscene words
on school property.

That's terrible.
MICHAEL: I know.

He misspelled two of them.

Petty problems,
Miguel, petty problems.

Now if you have any
executive emergencies,

feel free to call on me.

All right, I'm calling
on you now, brother.

Here are two tickets,
so give me two dollars.

You mean me? The brother
of the chairman of the festival

has to pay to get in?

Today, please.

That's like one of
the Ringling Brothers

having to pay to
get in the circus.

Come on, J.J., it's for charity,
and the money goes to buy books

for the school
library. Thank you.

All right, all right.
Thelma, pay the man.

Thank you, Brother J.

Hey, Thelma, you about
ready for that kissing booth?

Yep, I got my lips
and my lip gloss.

But you didn't tell me

how much you want
me to sell my kisses for.

Thelma, be ready to
make change of a dime!

Whoooo!

You know somethin',
if you were in there,

it wouldn't be a kissing booth.

It'd be a House of
Horrors, you ugly monster!

Hold it, hold it! Referee
Willona calls it a draw.

Okay, move, move.

Where's Penny?

Her mother came
and picked her up.

I just hope she's too b*at
to b*at on her anymore.

b*at on her! You mean
her mother does that to her?

Yes. No!

We didn't actually see
it, but I'm sure she did.

Well, then you're talking
about alleged child b*ating.

Here's the way it
comes down, Michael.

The alleged mama
took her alleged fist

and hit the little
kid's alleged back

and left a mess
of alleged bruises

that were legibly clear!

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

See who that is.
Thelma's too lazy to move.

Oh, Willona.

It's nobody. Just Bookman.

Okay, folks, don't just
stand there. Give me a hand.

[APPLAUD]

That's very funny. Very funny.

Okay, I got a delivery
here for Michael Evans.

Oh, good! These are the
prizes for the carnival games.

Hold it, Booga. I
got a tip for you.

Hey, I couldn't
possibly accept a tip.

Here's the tip: Go to Michael's
school carnival tomorrow.

Here's a ticket, and give
me a dollar! Bookman!

Thank you.

I don't believe it. You
all done tricked me again!

Oh, no. We didn't
trick you, honey.

Thank you for
the dollar, sucker!

Oh, Michael, these are so cute!

Hey, thanks, Thelma.

Hey, wait a minute.

This ticket says
come in costume.

What am I supposed
to do about a costume?

Hey, Bookman,
just grab a basketball

and come as the
Harlem Globetrotters.

[ALL HUMMING THEME TO
"SWEET GEORGIA BROWN"]

Okay, now, how would you feel when
your mother comes back off her honeymoon

and found my favorite
tenants out in the street.

[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, you all gonna have any
sweet potato pie at the carnival?

You know I better
count these teddy bears.

Knowing Bookman,
he probably ate one.

You know, Willona, I wanna
be extra special for the carnival.

What should I wear? Try a
paper sack over your head!

Why don't you try You got
shutting up! some nerve!

You make me Get out of
here, sick! you ol' banana-head!

Just keep on movin',
you old Chihuahua face!

Hey, J.J. Man, I gotta
check inventory to see

if all the prizes are here.
Wanna count teddy bears?

Michael, I said I would help
you with executive emergencies.

Now if the word ever got out I
was helping you count teddy bears,

I'd lose my seniority
at the water cooler.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Hi, Penny.

I forgot my costume.

Oh, here it is.

Hey, where'd you get
all those teddy bears?

Oh, would you like one?

Yeah.

They're for the
carnival. [LAUGHS]

What's so funny?

This teddy bear
looks just like J.J.

Let me see that.

See, it's got J.J.'s eyes.

No, it doesn't.

It's got J.J.'s smile.

No, it doesn't.

And feel here. It's all
fuzzy between the ears.

Now you're talking about J.J.!

I like you, Michael.

I like you too, Penny.

Hey, I got a great idea for something
we can both do together in the carnival.

Let's pretend we're
Sonny and Cher.

You mean we're
gonna get a divorce?

No, Penny, we're gonna
do what they do on TV.

Oh! I've been watching Sonny
and Cher ever since I was a kid.

Oh, yeah? Well, Cher,
how would you like to sing

with the world's
greatest Italian lover?

I'd love to, Sonny, but
Dean Martin isn't available.

♪ They say we're young
And we don't know ♪

♪ Won't find out Till we grow ♪

♪ Well, I don't know
If all that's true ♪

♪ 'Cause you got me
And, baby, baby, I got you ♪

♪ Babe, I got you,
babe I got you, babe ♪

♪ I got you ♪

Cute, Sonny. Greedy, but cute.

Hey, Michael, what do you think?

Sis, you're gonna
knock 'em dead.

All right, that's
gonna cost you.

The kissing booth just opened.

Well, I can't say
it wasn't worth it.

Here's my dime.

Can I have my change,
please? Aw, Michael.

Where's J.J.? He's still in
the bathroom. I'll get him.

Hey, J.J., man,
come on out of there.

I got a million and one things to
do at the carnival. And don't forget,

we gotta pick up Penny.
In a minute, Michael!

MICHAEL: All right.

Voilà!

What is that?

I think it's a UFO.

Unidentified Fool Object.

I am Captain J.J. from
the planet Ghettow.

I'm straight as an arrow
And right on course

Don't mess with me 'Cause
I am known as the Force!

Hey!

♪ Dance, gypsy, play,
gypsy Dance, gypsy, yeah ♪

Madam Willona here. I read
the past. I read the future.

And I accept all presents.

Willona, you look great!

Thank you my darling.

It's just the gypsy in
my soul food! All right!

♪ Play, gypsy, dance,
gypsy Hey! Hey! Hey! ♪

Hey, J.J.

Why are you the only one
here not dressed in a costume?

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I get it. You're
going as a gumball machine.

If the Force don't get
movin', we'll be late.

Yeah, don't forget we
gotta pick up Penny.

Come on.

Penny!

Baby, what happened?

What happened? [SHRIEKS]

Oh, my God, her
mother's broken her arm.

Room number four. The
doctor will be right with you.

Can I help you?

We'd like to see a doctor.

Well, have a seat
and fill this out.

We have to see a
doctor right away.

Well, whatever's wrong with him,

he's gonna have to wait
his turn like everybody else.

It's not me.
It's the little girl.

Well, have a seat
and fill out the form.

It's an emergency. Her
arm might be broken.

Lady, these patients aren't
here for a cocktail party.

They're all emergencies.

Let me handle this.

Hello there, mama
Wait your turn.

Obviously you have no concept
of who you dialogin' with here.

I am J.J. Evans, M.D.

Doctor of Medicine?

No, Dazzler of Mademoiselles.

And how would you like me to
introduce you to paradise tonight?

How would you like
me to introduce you

to a tongue depressor right now?

I hope your dog dies.

Come on, Willona, let's
fill out the forms here.

What's the matter, sonny.
Did your spaceship crash?

What is wrong
with the little girl?

It's her arm. She's been beaten.

Animal! You ought to
be ashamed of yourself!

Hey, hey. Mr. Edwards,
room number three, please.

You can let the little
girl have my turn.

I'm sorry, I can't do that.
You know, rules are rules.

[YELLING IN SPANISH]

What's that supposed to mean?

Let's just say that means
the hell with the rules!

Sí, bestia.

All right. All right. The
doctor will see you now.

J.J.: Oh, terrific.

Just the gypsy and her kid here.

Hello there, sweetheart.
What's your name?

Willona Woods.

Nooo, I meant the little girl.

Penny.

Penny, that's a nice
name. I'm Dr. Blake.

Here, let me take that.

Why don't you sit
up here on this table

so we can have
a look at that arm.

How'd it happen?

I fell off my skateboard.

You know that's not
what happened at all.

Now, Mother, let Penny tell me.

I'm not her mother. I'm
Willona Woods, the neighbor.

Doctor, this child's
been beaten.

Is that true, Penny?

Uh-uh. I fell off my skateboard.

Penny!

Does it hurt you when I do this?

A little.

Can you wiggle
your fingers like this?

Good, good.

Now, let me see you make a fist.

Good. How 'bout
bending your elbow?

Mm-hm. Fine, fine.

Well, I'm pretty
certain it's not broken.

But just to be sure,
we'll take an x-ray.

Of course, we're gonna
need a parent's permission.

Well, she only has the mother,

and her mother's the
one that did this to her.

Look, I see children
with bruises all day long.

They fall off skateboards,
swings, monkey bars.

You know how it is.

Falling down is
part of growing up.

Doctor, look, if you
don't believe me,

take a look at the child's
back. Look at her arm!

Have her mother
make an appointment.

Doctor, what does it
take to get through to you?

I just told you the
child was abused.

Do something about it, n*gro!

Now, look-a here, mama.
Don't come flappin' at me.

As a doctor, I am
compelled by law

to report every
case of child abuse.

So don't come in here telling me

about what I already
know better than you!

You gotta make
a report. Report it!

Can you prove that
this is child abuse?

Hey, look. These marks
here are not tattoos!

Did you see how they got there?

Well, no.

Then I heard all the fat-mouthing
from you I wanna hear.

You didn't see the child
get beaten, and neither did I.

Do you know how difficult it is
to prove child abuse in court?

I'm a doctor, not a lawyer.

You're also a creep.

Good day, Miss Woods.

Come on, Penny.

You want my
professional opinion?

You better get yourself
a heart transplant,

'cause, baby, you need one.

Penny, if you don't tell us
the truth, we can't help you.

Yeah, Willona's right, Penny.
You got to tell it like it is.

Okay, I will.

These cookies are stale.

J.J., help.

She's right, Willona.
These cookies are stale.

J.J.!

That's right, Penny, you
gotta be straight with us now.

You didn't fall off your
skateboard, did you?

J.J., I'll tell you the truth,
but it's only 'cause I love you.

I didn't fall off my skateboard.

What really
happened was that I...

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

I guess I'd better
tell you later.

There she is, officer!

That's the woman that
kidnapped my child!

Kidnapped! What the
hell are you talkin' about?

Look here, officer. On behalf of my
neighbor, I demand an explanation.

Shut up, you.

That's a good enough
explanation for me.

Miss Woods, we have witnesses

that saw you take
the child somewhere.

Without my permission.

Well, the truth is, officer, I
took the child to a doctor...

because her mother
here almost broke her arm.

How dare you accuse me!

You don't have to
believe me. Ask Penny.

Penny. Penny, honey, I
never touched you, did I?

No, Mama.

There, you see?
Come on, officer.

That woman has
been abusing that child!

Now, wait a minute. Did
you actually see her do it?

Well, no, but look
at the child's back.

Lady, look. I'm just a cop
on the b*at, not a doctor.

If you stop meddling and...
I'm makin'it my business!

Hold it, both of you!

Now look, if this happens again,

I'm gonna have to
run you in, okay?

Come on, Penny.

Uh, look here, officer.
I think I can clarify

this whole situation.

You can't clarify that
outfit you're wearin'.

Yeah, but look, officer. See
what actually happened...

Now, just shut up! One more word

and I'll arrest you for
impersonating a Twinkie.

Well, that cop is lucky
he left when he did.

I can't believe that woman.

Accusing me of kidnapping Penny!

And the people I thought
we could depend on

like the police
and the doctors...

They're sweepin' the
whole mess under the rug.

Yeah, and the rug
keeps getting lumpier.

[PHONE RINGS]

Chello?

Oh, Willona, it's for you.

Hello?

Oh, Dr. Blake.

Miss Woods, ever
since you left the office,

I've been thinking about you.

Isn't that a coincidence.

I haven't been
thinking about you at all.

I deserve that cold sh*t.

But look, doctor's
get tired too.

We're busy. We're pressured.

Sometimes we get
more than we can handle.

Well, maybe I was a
little rough on you myself.

No, you were right. You said
some things that got next to me,

so I called the police,
who referred me

to the State Department of
Children and Family Services.

They're sending a social
worker over to talk to you.

Doctor, that's wonderful!
Thank you so much.

J.J., guess what. Penny's
gonna finally get some help!

Hey, how's Penny?
WILLONA: She'll be okay

when the social
worker gets here. Good.

But it's too bad she
missed the carnival.

We raised over $360
for the new library books!

That's nice. I wonder what's
happening to Penny right now.

Maybe I should go down
and see what's happening.

You think Mrs. Gordon
is gonna let you in?

If she don't, I'm gonna
knock down the door!

If you can't, you can always
use your body to pick the lock.

Thelma, how much money did you have
to give in refunds at the kissing booth?

Where is that social worker?

Willona, please don't
worry. She'll be here.

Oh, you're right, honey. I'm
just so worried about Penny.

Hey, Gramps, what's in the box?

Oh, Willona, these are
leftovers from the carnival.

Great, 'cause I'm hungry.

Twenty-two bowls
with a goldfish in each.

I'm not that hungry.

[KNOCKING AT DOOR] I'll get it.

Miss Woods? That's me.

Oh. I'm Mrs. Carpenter from the
Department of Children and Family Services.

I thought you'd never
get here. Come on.

You reported a
case of child abuse?

Yes, I did. This is
the Evans Family.

How do you do?

Yeah, I'll take you
to where Penny lives.

No, no. First I need
some information.

Dr. Blake told me I
could get that from you.

Well, the information you need is on
the child's back. And we're wasting time.

I do have to fill
out these forms.

Oh! Could I have a
glass of water, please?

I've been asking questions
all day, and my throat is dry.

On the rocks!

Now, what is the full
name of the complainant?

The who? Oh, the
complainant. Me, Willona Woods.

Is that Miss, Mrs. or Ms.?

Honey, take your
pick. Can we go?

Miss, Mrs. or Ms. Woods.
This complaint goes to the court!

I must fill it out.

Oh, thank you.

Um, middle initial?

None.

And, um, this is...
where you live?

Yes.

Mmm! This is delicious.
But I did ask for a little ice.

Look here, woman, you can sit
up here and suck up Lake Michigan.

Penny's hurtin'. Let's hustle
our butts on over there!

Right. I really think that
we should hustle our, um...

Let's hustle our butts,
woman! Come on!

Here's where Penny
and her mother live.

Hey, what's happening here?

Where's Penny and her mother?

Gone. Gone?

Yeah, she packed up
and took the kid with her.

J.J., what's gonna
happen to her now?

[♪♪♪]

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit Ripoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

ANNOUNCER: Good Times was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

♪ Good times ♪
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