06x22 - The Last Drive-In

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪♪

All right, I got the
pillows, I got the blankets.

Where is everybody?

If we don't leave in
exactly six minutes,

We won't get a good space.

We simply can not go.

Tootie, it's a drive-in.
The screen's a block wide.

Any space is a good space

Jo, it's the snack
bar that counts.

You park far away,
you got a big schlep.

You have to watch
where you're going.

You miss the action.

But close to the snack bar,
you slide out, get your snacks,

And slide back in.

You don't miss any
dialogue or what have you

Hi, guys. Hey.

You still in the dumps?

A fly d*ed on my
windowsill today.

I'm sorry to hear that, nat.

Come on, snap out of it.

How can i? It's our
last saturday night

At the blue dell drive-in.

I know.

It's been our hangout
and tomorrow

Its going to be it's rubble.

Natalie, I know how hurt
and helpless you feel,

But get over it.

Come on, you did your best.

You tried to stop them.

I wrote a few editorials.

I should have done more.

It's a drive-in, nat.

No, it's not.

It's part of our
disappearing culture,

Our vanishing youth,

It's where I got my first kiss.

You mean arthur floren?

I thought he kissed you
at the top the ferris wheel.

He tried, but the
air was too thin.

He lost consciousness.

You wanna save the blue
dell because of a kiss?

I will not apologize
for being a woman.

All right, everyone.

I'm ready.

Ready for what?

Blair's coming with us tonight.

You're kidding?

No.

This may be my last chance

To experience a real drive-in.

It's america. The heartland.

I'm going to get
down there and do...

What is it you people do?

Don't worry about it, blair.

I'll be your guide.

I'll take you through it.

So which car are we taking?

We'll go in mrs. Garrett's vw.

Isn't the back seat a
bit uncomfortable?

Don't worry. You'll
be in the trunk.

The trunk?

Sneaking in.

It's tradition.

Somebody's gotta sneak in.

Jo, am I going to regret this

Like the time you
took me to kickboxing

And that guy's mouthpiece
landed in my coke?

Uh-uh... Trust me.

We'll let you out
as soon as we get in.

Right after the secret knock.

What?

If you don't hear this...

Dive under the blanket.

It means the management
is searching the car.

People, let's go.
It's dusk out there.

Natalie, hurry up and change.

I'm not changing.

I wore pajamas the first
time I went to a drive-in

I'm wearing them the last.

Natalie, you were five then.

There's still a
little girl in me.

Guess who?

[Honk honk]

Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha,

Ha ha ha ha ha heh
heh heh heh heh heh heh

Do you realize how lucky we are?

Whatever happened to
baby jane? Is playing here.

I can't believe I'm finally
gonna see what happened to her.

I thought you've seen every
bette davis movie ever made.

Except baby jane.

It's one of her
greatest performances.

She kills a rat, gags her
sister, and then she goes crazy.

Come on, don't tell
me what happens.

How can they close
a place like this?

Look at that line-up,

You got your madness,
you got your slaughter,

You got your crazy villagers.

Now that's a night out.

I'm so depressed.

I should have
stayed in my pajamas.

Come on, let's load up.

Hey, where's blair?

Blair.

She's still in the trunk.

Tootie!

You were supposed
to let her out!

No, no. I'm supplies.
You're personnel.

Muchas gracias, mr. Ramirez.

Enjoy the show.

Blair, we're sorry.

How long were you
planning to leave me there?

Whoa, we were... I waited
for the secret knock.

After five minutes I
used the secret scream.

We're sorry about your clothes.

No problem.

I'm sure motor oil
comes out of silk.

Are you all right?

Natalie, a word
about your driving.

Hey, I kept to the speed limit.

Look at me.

Patty hearst had an easier ride.

Come on, blair.

You're a drive-in kind of gal.

You're loose, you're happening.

I'll run you through
the snack bar.

All right, ok. I'm with you.

Mr. Lowell, I'm natalie green.

The one who wrote the
editorials to save your drive in.

"Don't let the blue dell die."

Why not?

I understand.

You're wounded,
you feel betrayed.

Big business forcing
you out. Are you kidding?

I waited forever for
somebody to make a move on me.

Some chain that
sells discount clothes

Made a lowball
offer and I grabbed it.

Discount clothes? The
blue dell's an institution.

It's a dump.

It's a dump that
needs a facelift.

Patch the holes in the
screen, get a new neon sign.

It's too late.

I want to retire.

Move to arizona.

Arizona?

You wake up one morning
there's a scorpion in your shoe.

30 Years is a long time.

But I've had so many
good times here.

I'm glad.

What are we supposed do
with our saturday nights?

What everybody else
does: rent a cassette.

Well, tootie, the
blue dell is gone.

And there's nothing
I can do about it.

Call the historical society.

Have it declared a landmark.

What did you say?

Get an injunction.

My parents did it once
with an old schoolhouse.

Hey!

Now always begin

With a good chocolate base.

Then you get to the
hot dogs, the popcorn,

The harder stuff.

Right. I'm with you.

All right.

What do you see?

I see an assortment
of various candies.

Look closer. It's a mine field.

The right combination,
pleasant evening.

Mix the wrong stuff, I
can't be held responsible.

You know, once this guy mixed
peanut butter cups with black licorice.

Next day, he walked
in front of a train.

All right, now let's
begin you with the basics.

You got your rolos, junior
mints, your good n' plenty,

Your raisinets,
and red licorice.

Any combination of those,

You're on solid ground.

Now, the most neglected
item is the beverage.

See that pink stuff
splashing around over there?

It will eat through car seats.

Mr.lowell, if I get 500
signatures by midnight,

They'll consider making
your place a landmark.

I'll tell my wife she
should stop packing.

Plus four diet colas
and red licorice.

Smart buy. $8.50.

All right, would you
grab some napkins, blair?

Hey!

Souvenir hunter.

We'll be picked
clean by intermission.

You guys, let's
get back to the car.

And once bette gets started, I
don't want anybody climbing over me.

Easy, tootie, we
have plenty of time.

Now we don't. The dancing
candies are start to form

A kick line to the trash bin.

Come on, natalie,
it's show time.

Oh, you guys go ahead, I
got to get some signatures.

Excuse me, sir.

Whoa!

Lunch, miss hudson?

[Buzz]

Why certainly, miss hudson.

[Buzz]

I'm sure we can find

Something appropriate
for you, miss hud...

This is really too annoying.

They ought to tear
this place down.

Okay the film broke. It
could happen to anyone.

It broke right in the middle

Of baby jane's tantrum.

Right in the middle of a scream.

It leaves the
audience wanting more.

Now they won't restart it

At the right point in the film

And I won't know where
baby jane's coming from.

Or where she's going.

She might be feeling better
about herself, I don't know.

Tootie, they'll fix it.

And what if they don't?

That's one more time I'll
miss seeing this great lady

At the cinema.

Somebody out there does
not want me to see this film.

Right, tootie, it
probably has to do

With that thing in lebanon.

And that accounts for
the size of the speaker.

Okay I see, the sound is
supposed to suck eggs.

Ladies...

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

How about keeping us company
for the rest of the flick?

Hey, hey, hey.

Your friend has quite a
command of the language.

What do you say ladies?

The night is young and
we have bucket seats.

Yours is a tempting offer,

But we'd sooner
drink from a gas pump.

Your loss.

I like the way you put him down

With that auto reference.

I guess it was all that
time I spent in the trunk.

Hey!

People are stealing your menus.

What's the difference?

Tomorrow the bulldozers roll.

One big pancake.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe they're
going to destroy

All this great old stuff.

They're gonna flatten the place.

sh**t.

Where's the ladies lounge?

I got to have something.

A memento... I gotta
have something.

We all have things
we have to do.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Now.

There's the line.

A line for the
bathroom? Don't be silly.

Can't be that good.

Whoa whoa girlie, where
do you think you're going?

Look at her, she's butting
in front of the whole line.

Hey, princess di.
Out of the can.

So, do you come here often?

Every saturday night.

Every saturday night?

You have to save this drive-in.

People, people.

I'd like to take a
minute of your time.

What I have to
say is not pleasant,

But it needs to be said.

They're turning this drive-in

Into a leisure clothing store.

A piece of americana
is being buried

So they can sell white belts?

I don't think so.

And I don't think you do either.

Thank you.

Now, please sign-up
to save blue dell.

We can't. We're from oregon.

But good speech.

Oh, jo...

Blair?

A very interesting
thing just happened.

One person... It appeared
to be a young girl...

Threatened to punch
out my porch light.

If I don't leave town

Oh, well if she's
threatened you, blair,

I wouldn't take it lightly.

Where exactly is my porch light?

How can I put this?

The car is gone.

What?

Get out of town.

Our car is e-4.

5... The car is gone.

Our car?

Somebody out there does
not want me to see this film.

To steal mrs. Garrett's car
right from under our noses

If you ask me,
that's pretty cheeky.

Well, that's criminals.

They're getting
cheekier all the time.

Why mrs. Garrett's car?

There are hundreds
of vehicles out there.

Some with mufflers.

We searched the
back rows. It's gone.

I searched. You got signatures.

I can't believe you
barged in on that couple.

They were... Involved.

You should thank me,

If I don't save this place

They'll be doing that in public.

Guess we'll have to call a cab.

How about we call
the police first.

I don't understand it

We were only away from
the car for five minutes.

Tootie, wake up.

Thieves can steal
car in 60 seconds,

Less if they have the keys

You left the keys in the car?

I'm under a strain.

I'm losing my
romantic roots here.

Hello, police? I'd
like to report a crime.

Our car's been stolen.

Grand theft?

It's a volkswagen.

I don't believe this!

The projector is down again!

Wonder if this'd
fit under my coat?

Jo, you can help. I've waited
years to see this movie.

You can fix anything. Please.

There's professionals
running this thing.

Does anybody have
any scotch tape?

I'm not promising anything.

We can't wait an hour!

Can't you dispatch a swat team?

Are policemen supposed
to laugh at taxpayers?

Two hours?

Thank you.

We're stuck for two hours.

So? I'm stuck here for 30 years.

Excuse me, would you sign
our petition to save the drive-in?

Thanks, I appreciate it.

Mr. T!?

So, how we doing?

I had no idea such
influential people came here.

Mussolini's good.

But I don't think the disney
characters carry a lot of weight.

I can't be picky.

Natalie, you need real names

They're not gonna
give an injunction

Because the cartoon
world is outraged.

You are so negative.

Work on that.

No, daddy, don't worry about me.

I'm here with four big guys.

Linebackers, I
think they call them.

Ok. 'Bye, now.

Oh! Hello!

I was just talking to my father.

Perhaps you've heard of
him, hanging judge warner?

I thought I told you I never
wanted to see your face again.

No, I can't say I remember that.

I'm seeing your face. I hate it.

You know, I like it
that you're frank.

Too many people never
say what's on their mind.

I'm thinking we have a
chance to be real friends.

You're touching me.

Is that real naugahyde?

Tootie, I don't think
you've met my friend.

Tootie, this is...

She wants us to guess.

Sondra.

Sondra?

Tootie is one of the
many friends I'm here with.

I guess they'd do
anything for me.

Anytime, anyplace.

Sondra... That's a pretty name.

Are you nordic by any chance?

If you're still here
when the movie's over...

We'll chat again.

You won't have a mouth.

Just a second here.

Not what I'm looking for.

Taxi, come quick
I'm at the drive-in.

Do I sound like I'm joking?

I'll pay the admission.

Just get a cab over here.

You will?

Two hours?

I'm going to die in a snack bar.

This isn't funny anymore.

She might really
resort to v*olence.

Naaa. I'm sure
she's heard the law.

k*ll a deb, go to prison.

I need 176 more signatures.

Where's tootie?

She went out that way.

Tootie, get out
of that chevette!

There's a couple
necking in the front.

Tootie's in the back.

Get in here!

Excuse me, would you sign
the petition to save the drive-in?

Thanks, if everybody
was as concerned...

Wait a minute!

What are you doing with
that clock? Give me that!

Get a job!

This is so frustrating

I can see bette
but I can't hear her.

Of course that's the
magic of that actress.

I have no idea what she's saying

But still I'm repulsed.

Someone here report
a stolen vehicle?

You came. I knew you would!

I need make and
model of the car.

Who cares about the car

Just get me out
of this hell hole.

Would you get
your friend off me?

Come on, get off
the man. Get off him.

I need the registration
and license number?

I've got it all here.

This car's registered
to margaret thatcher.

Ha! Kids!

Send out a description.

We can give you all a
lift home if you'd like?

Yes. Great.

No!

I made it perfectly
clear to you people that

I was not leaving until
I've seen this movie.

Plus, I don't have
steve's number.

We're rolling on it.
Sorry, we got a 211.

You're just going
to leave us here?

We'll try and
swing back this way.

Your partner took my clipboard.

You let them go. You didn't
stop them. How could you do this?

They have g*ns.

Richard!

So wonderful to see you again.

Who are you?

Blair.

We shared a moment earlier?

I'm a 'lil busy now.

Strictly slow lane, richard.

Together we could navigate
some dangerous curves.

You had your chance.

It's over.

I can't even pick
up a total loser.

Hey, hey, hey!

Thanks, but I'd
rather be beaten.

Are all your cabs still
out? Isn't there somebody?

Well, send him over.

I don't care if
he's seen the film.

This is a matter
of life and death.

Call an ambulance? That's
the call I'm trying to avoid.

Where are you going?!

I'm going to take one
more look for the car.

Take me with you.

Oh, blair, pl... Ralph, would
you take care of blair?

Let her play with the
popcorn machine or something.

Tootie, make up a name.

Tom.

Now make up an address.

Why?

It's 11:30 and I don't
have enough signatures.

I'm taking matters
into my own hands.

You're forging names.

What's in a name?

Five to life, nat.

I'll fill these in now and
get enough real names later.

Natalie, it's late.

You're tired. You're insane.

I'm not giving up on this.

Hey, you.

I'm standing here.
What's the story?

It's you.

Not necessarily.

Do you work here?

Do you want me to?

I'd love to but I
have customers.

I told you!

You had fair warning.

Absolutely. Fair.

The fairness was there.

Buckle up, sister,
you're going for a ride.

Look out!

What happened?

I think blair decked her.

You did?

Well, I was just...

Yeah.

I did do the decking.

That's great.

Wow!

I had no choice I
did what I had to.

Well, I'm proud of ya.

(Blair) and let that
be a lesson to you.

And that jacket looks
terrible with those pants.

I'm really impressed, blair.

I only hope I never
have to do it again.

Is this guy bothering
you, tootie?

But we'll go to the beach

We'll go and we'll live at
the seashore all the time

Like we used to when I was
little and daddy was there.

And then... Maybe
we'll have friends.

People would come and see us.

Oh, I'd like that!

What are you doing?

Uh... Nothing.

You were taking
that weren't you?

Here I am trying
to save this place

And you're pulling it apart.

The drive-in is closing
down. People don't want it

They'd rather neck on the sofa

In front of 35 channels.

Doesn't anyone care
about this place?

Yeah, I do, that's why
I'm taking the stool.

I just hate to see it all go.

Then don't.

Have a seat?

No, jo. That's yours. Come on.

Oh! Hello, officer!

Found your car.

Really, where was it?

Squirrel hill. No damage...
Just to the windshield wipers.

Don't they work?

Not in the glove compartment.

We can give you that
ride home now if you'd like.

For six years I've been
coming here as a young person.

Just when I entered the
male-female phase of drive-in going

They tear the place down.

Officer, take me home.

So, I hear they're taking
women on the force now.

Somebody should nail these down.

People get hurt. They sue.

Nice g*n.

Hey, you!

Editor person!

Yes?

Here, I want you to have this.

The pizza clock?

It's a couple of slices slow.

Thank you. I feel
like we came so close.

If only I'd tried
a little harder.

You tried.

If only I had a
little more time...

Do yourself a favor.

Go home and run for the senate.

♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪

♪ And enjoy the
fun of managing ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ They shed a lot of light ♪

♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother, ♪

♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪

♪ Better get 'em right, ♪

♪ Call her late at night ♪

♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hands ♪

♪ All you gotta do
to get you through ♪

♪ Is understand ♪

♪ You think you
rather do without ♪

♪ You will never make it
through without the truth ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about... ♪♪