06x26 - The Interview Show

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Facts of Life". Aired: August 24, 1979 - May 7, 1988.*
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Spin-off of Diff'rent Strokes; focuses on Edna as she becomes a housemother at the fictional Eastland School, an all-girls boarding school.
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06x26 - The Interview Show

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪♪

I'm not getting video.

I don't know what
the problem is.

Taking off the
lens cap might help.

Sorry about that.

My dad does it all the time.

He's a home movie nut.

When I ran away from
home for the first time,

He filmed it with
the lens cap on.

Then he made me
do it over again.

[Laughter]

Is this all right? That's fine.

I didn't get a chance to
properly introduce myself.

I'm beth mcneil,
eastland class of '69.

I know. I've read
two of your books

And all of your book jackets.

I'm tootie ramsey.
It's nice to meet you.

Beautiful day.

And I'm all finished with class.

I want to thank you for
taking part in this interview.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

The sheet I signed up on said that
this was for a book about eastland.

Well, I'm hoping
there's a book in it.

This school has produced
so many fine women,

I wanted to get to
know some of them.

I'm interviewing students,
graduates, finding out

What kind of girl
comes to this campus,

And what kind of girl
she is when she leaves.

Are you up for that?

You bet. Fire away.

First, I'll just ask you a few questions
about your school experience...

What you like about
school, what you don't like.

This isn't gonna be
on the 11:00 news.

Strictly confidential.

I'm only using the
videotape camera

Because faces tell me a
lot more than words do.

Did you meet robert, my
assistant behind the camera?

The genius with
the lens cap. Hi.

Hi, robert. I'm tootie.

Tootie' just a nickname.
My real name is dorothy.

My first year here, someone got
the impression that I was talkative,

So they stuck me with "tootie".

Now, no matter what
I do, I can't shake it.

What about if I just
call you dorothy?

I'm not real thrilled
with that either.

We better just
stick with tootie.

Tootie, you must
be, what, a junior?

Right. I started eastland
in the sixth grade.

That makes this my
fifth... Sixth year.

You can see they have a
great math program here.

How's it going this semester?

Good. I've got some
interesting classes,

And my grades are hanging in.

I'm taking my
sats in the spring.

Have you decided
on a college yet?

Someplace with a
good drama department.

I'm going to be an actress.

I know everybody says
that, but I'm gonna make it.

I know it won't be easy, though,

'Cause roles are
scarce for actresses,

Scarcer for black actresses.

But I'm going to b*at that.

I'm gonna break the rules.

If I see a part for a female,

I'm going out for it.

Anything over 12 and under 50,

I'm gonna show up and
let them know who I am.

When they hear "tootie,"
that's when I'll lose the role.

You could always
change your name.

Sigourney ramsey,
candice ramsey...

I'll work on it.

Did you know that I had
the lead in south pacific?

And I was the first black
juliet in eastland history.

Sounds like you're
breaking the rules already.

I guess I am.

I love watching cicely
tyson and meryl streep.

Although I like
watching everybody.

I'm a people watcher.
I'm like a sponge.

I can get as much from watching
friends talk on the telephone

As I get from watching
meryl do a love scene.

You'd understand if
you knew my friend.

Natalie green,
she's my best friend.

I hate saying "best" friend.

It sounds so immature.

Oh, I don't know.

I still say that when I
describe my closest friend.

Yeah? Well, we're tight.

I'm closer to her
than to anyone.

So she's determined
to return the blouse,

But they wouldn't take it
back because the tag was gone.

So natalie lies out on the
floor and refuses to move.

Now, it's saturday, the
store is jammed, I'm dying,

And there's natalie on her back
in the junior miss department.

Everybody was
stepping all over her.

She got her money back, though.

Yeah, we've been roomies
for over five years,

Along with blair and jo...
They're my next-best friends.

I bet you don't
say that anymore.

We share a room over
mrs. Garrett's store.

Mrs. Garrett?

Oh, she owns the pasta
and cheese shop in town.

She's our... I don't know.

She really doesn't
have an official title.

She's a combination of mother,
friend, guardian, noodge.

Mrs. Garrett and I have
kind of a special relationship.

How's that?

Well, see, I'm the youngest,

And sometimes I have
questions, or things worry me.

And, well, they're
not the kinds of things

I can talk to about with the
other girls, or even natalie.

So when everybody is asleep,

I'll go in mrs. Garrett's
room and we'll talk,

For hours, sometimes,
or until I feel better.

We've been doing that for years,

And nobody knows about it.

It's our secret.

What part of your
school experience

Has meant the most to you?

The friendships.

I know I should say
all the great courses

And all that I've learned,

But it's the friendships.

The four of us have had some
really great times together.

I think that in 10 years,
we'll still be together.

Really. 10 Years, 25 years...

All of us with our
careers and our husbands

And our children
and grandchildren.

All of us together...

And living over
mrs. Garrett's store.

Wouldn't that be a riot!

Are we rolling now? Now.

Hi, ma. Number one! Number one!

I've always wanted to do that.

I hope there are no
angry pigeons up there.

How are you?

Never better, natalie.

It's so good to be
back on this campus.

I'm glad to see woodburn
hall is still standing.

Was that your dorm?

The top floor, last room on
the right was mine for eight years.

No kidding.

That's cheryl ivino's room now.

Her whole wall is papered
with pictures of jim palmer.

You know, that pitcher
who does underwear ads?

How tacky can you get?

I only go up there
twice a week now.

If you want, we can take a
walk up there after our talk.

You can check out the old room.

That is, if you like
wall-to-wall jim palmer.

I think I can handle that.

I guess eastland has changed
a lot since you were here.

They've added a
few more buildings.

And the uniforms look
a lot more comfortable.

They're not. 50% Wool, 50%...

Steel wool! Steel wool!

You got it!

That wall around the campus
wasn't here 15 years ago.

A couple girls were
att*cked here a few years ago.

Me included.

I was lucky, I only had
the life scared out of me.

Boy, that was a
major-league awakening.

We used to think life
here was pretty perfect.

"What could go wrong
here in the boonies?"

Then, overnight, everyone
was walking around

Looking over their shoulders.

I guess I was looking
over the wrong one.

I was dressed up like charlie
chaplin when it happened.

Can you believe it?

I told the police, if you
want to nail this guy,

Dress like groucho,
you'll get him.

You know, you can put
this in your book if you want

Because someday this
chapter is going in mine.

Well, I'm thinking about
a journalism career.

But lately... Yes?

I find I'm getting so
involved in my stories.

I get so angry when
things are unfair.

It's not enough to
just write about 'em,

I want to do something.

I might end up in politics.

What do you think? Would
you vote for this girl?

What are you doing here?

Your hair! What?

Your hair... A twig!

What?

I'll just be a minute.

Tootie, do you
mind? I'm in the middle

Of my life story here.

And I want you to
look your best..

Have you met my valet?

Tootie, don't you have
a class or something?

Would you hold still!

You'll have to excuse my friend.

She hasn't been herself lately.

Tootie! See?

You had a branch in your hair.

Fine! Will you go home already?

I'm going home now.

Thanks for dropping
by. It's been real.

That was my ex-friend tootie.

Don't judge her
too harshly, though.

She means well.

One time we had
this big argument,

And we weren't speaking.

She swore she wouldn't be
the first to say "I'm sorry."

She wasn't, either.

After a week, you
know what she did?

She signed an apology.

You know, "I'm sorry."

What do eastland
students do for fun in 1984?

The usual... Movies,
records, bates guys.

A lot of kids are
into tipping cows.

Tipping cows?

They hit some of the
farms late at night

And wait for the
cows to go to sleep.

They sleep standing up.

So you give them a little
bump, and over they go.

Mrs. Garrett called
the a.s.p.c.a. About it.

Don't you love that?

She's always standing up
for people's rights, and cows.

You really have to
meet mrs. Garrett.

What would you say
eastland has given you?

Wool burns.

I don't know whether it's
eastland or my friends.

I guess they're
the same in a way,

But I'd have to say
a sense of myself.

I hope that doesn't
sound too '60s.

What I have is this feeling that
no matter what happens out there,

I'll be ok.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

Do you want me to
look at the camera?

Try not to notice it.

That could be difficult.

I don't believe I've
met this young man.

Oh, blair, this is
robert, my assistant.

It's a pleasure.

Work with me, bob. Stay with me.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's the lens.

I always react that
way. It won't happen again.

So you're at home with a camera?

Me? No.

Is that a wide angle or a zoom?

Are many people gonna this?

Just me.

Oh.

I just can't figure out why
you picked me for this interview.

You signed up three times.

Well, then, let's
just get started.

I guess the biggest difference
at college is the dating.

I mean, I dated
at eastland a lot,

But I didn't... Date.

There's a lot of pressure here
to take relationships farther...

And faster.

And?

And I feel it's not for me.

Well, not now.

I know that's an
unpopular attitude,

But it's a decision I've made.

Well, I've lost a few
nice guys over it,

But I'm doing what I
know is right for me.

No, I'm not seeing
anyone steady.

I was dating someone
very seriously for a while.

But we broke it off last year.

I was in love with him.

You know, I used
to say that a lot.

But until cliff...

Well, I know what
that means now.

We talked about
getting married someday.

He met my parents.

Then he was accepted at
medical school in texas.

The "someday" became now.

I wanted to, but
I knew I couldn't.

I was only a freshman,

And... It just all
happened so quick.

We didn't even
bother trying to write.

I guess our timing was just...

Tell me about your book again.

How would you
describe yourself, blair.

You want me to be
brutally honest?

I'm wonderful.

I appreciate your honesty.

How am I holding up, bob?

Perfect.

Uh, getting back to eastland.

Oh, yes, eastland.

How many years did you attend?

Since I was 12.

What I loved most about
it was the tradition.

I mean, you look at the
class pictures on the wall...

All the girls who
came before you.

Well, like you.

There's just a
sense of continuity.

We're not big on
that in my family,

So I guess I appreciate it.

I'd send my daughter
to eastland.

I suppose that says it all.

But I wouldn't send her
until she was much older.

I'm afraid I'd be pretty
selfish with her time.

I'd want her to
be with me a lot.

Do you think you've changed
much over the past five years or so?

Oh, yes. Absolutely.

You see, I've always
been a privileged person.

I never had to work
for what I have.

I never gave much
thought to people who did,

Until I met jo... My
roommate, jo polniaczek.

You should have seen her
when she arrived at eastland.

No money, no clothes,
no matching luggage.

All she had was this confidence.

It really irritated me.

No, wait. Wait.

Confidence isn't the right word.

Strength is better.

She knows who she is.

A friend like that
is very valuable.

Did I say that?

Are you sure she's
not gonna see this tape?

Best time I ever had at school?

Well, I know one of the best.

Thanksgiving... Two years ago.

Mrs. Garrett decided to
invite all the town vagrants

To a thanksgiving dinner.

And they came!
All these vagrants.

It was the most lovely time.

We exchanged
stories. We sang songs.

It was so sad when
the evening ended

And mrs. Garrett had to
ask for the silverware back.

What do you hope
for in the future?

A lot of things.

You mean more than anything?

Most of all, I hope to
have a good solid family.

I know that's not easy.

It hasn't been for
anybody I know.

But it's what I hope for.

You know, I read
somewhere that the japanese

Write their prayers
on little slips of paper,

Tie them to branches of trees,

And let the wind carry
them off to be answered.

I should try that.

Do you want to
catch your breath.

Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm
just getting in gear.

After I take my 3:00,
drop these books off,

And work two hours
at the student store,

That's when I'll
need a breather.

Do you always keep
such a busy schedule?

Always. See, I'm on scholarship,

So I have to work.

Even when I was at eastland,
I had two part-time jobs.

But I don't mind. I
kinda figure strangers

Are helping pay my way.

I'm just doing my part.

So this book you're
writing, it's about eastland?

Eastland women.

That's me, I guess.
An eastland woman.

I don't know, that still
doesn't sound right.

Why is that?

I'm not your typical preppie.

See, I'm from the bronx.

Eastland needs girls
from different backgrounds

With different philosophies,
different experiences.

Throws 'em a curve
every once in a while.

Did... Did you throw
them a curve?

Well, I kept things interesting.

There was this one time...
But I was just a kid then.

I'm the first person
from my neighborhood

To go to college.

When I go home, all my
friends call me jo college.

"Here comes jo college."

Sometimes I look at them and
wonder why me and not them?

Am I just lucky?

You know, once,
when I was a kid,

I fell off a roof 60
feet into an alley.

Where did I land? On
mrs. Calino's mattress

That she threw out that morning.

She and old man calino have been
sleeping on that thing for 40 years.

What made her
chuck it out that day?

I don't know, maybe I'm
just being looked after.

Are you a religious person?

Kind of, I guess.

I never really gave
it much thought.

You know, I was your
basic christmas catholic.

Then I started to
think about it a lot.

I almost became a
nun. Obviously I didn't.

That's a lovely
cross you're wearing.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, a sister I
knew gave that to me.

She gave it to me and said,

"May god bless all
your footsteps."

Isn't that beautiful?

"May god bless all
your footsteps."

How are you different
since you went to eastland?

Oh, I'm much cuter
now. No, just kidding.

My goals have changed.

I'm not sure I even had
any goals before eastland.

I was just a rebel back then.

Still am, I've just found
better ways to channel it.

I was thinking about
becoming a teacher.

You know what really stinks?

It's the most
important job there is,

And they pay you diddly.

There must be so many people
who want to be teachers

But just pass it up because they
can't make a decent living at it.

I bet we lose a lot of
good people to real estate.

Where do you find time for
extracurricular activities?

It's just campus politics
and volleyball and lacrosse.

And I go out, you know.

Oh, look who's hogging
the spotlight again.

Jo polniaczek, live on camera.

How about friends?

I've got some good friends.

It's funny, the
friends I had before,

They were all like
me, from the bronx.

Now, the people I thought I
had nothing in common with

Are the people I'm closest to.

I just finished speaking with a
friend of yours... Blair warner.

Uh-oh, I demand equal time.

Let's see, how can you
describe our relationship?

Have you ever seen roller derby?

I don't know why we're friends.

I mean, knowing the two of us,

You'd never put
your money on it.

She's always surprising me.

You know, last week for my
birthday, she took me bowling.

Now, I love
bowling, but blair...

If you could have seen her face

When they told her
she'd have to wear shoes

That other people had worn.

But she got out there.
Ten frames, no complaints.

This isn't gonna
get back to her, is it?

No. Good.

[Bell chimes] oh,
look, I got to go.

It was nice talking to you.
Good luck with your book.

Thanks.

Thank you, edna, for taking
the time out to talk with me.

You're welcome. It's
nice being here, beth.

I'm a little nervous,

But I'm sure I'll be fine
once we've started.

Oh, we have started.

We have? Oh, fine.

Just fine.

Originally, I only planned
to talk to students,

But so many of the girls
spoke so highly of you.

That's very nice.

They said I'd be
missing the boat

If I didn't get mrs.
Garrett on tape.

That's fine.

I fell in love with eastland

The first minute I saw it.

It reminded me a lot
of my hometown...

Appleton, wisconsin.

Appleton's a lovely place.

Why did you leave?

Well, the day just came
when I knew it was time

To pull up stakes
and get out on my own.

Looking for your independence?

No. I was always independent.

After I raised my two
sons, I did a lot of things.

I drove a taxi. I was
in the peace corps.

You were? Mm-hmm.

Then eastland happened.

Boy, that was right up my alley.

I made it a point to
learn every girl's name.

Well, I figured it would be
easier for them to come to me

If we were on a
first-name basis.

You know, so many
of them were here,

And away from home
for the first time.

I try to create a cozy,
relaxed atmosphere.

Now, when the cafeteria was full,
there would be this wonderful buzz...

Everyone laughing, talking.

I still miss that buzz.

It must have been very difficult
for you to leave eastland.

You don't know how I
agonized over that one.

But deep inside,

I knew I had to make a change.

I'm a big believer in change.

I think you have to shake
up your life once in a while

And see what happens.

I've always wanted
my own business.

A chance to be more creative.

I also wanted so very
much to go back to college.

And I'm doing that, too.

This seems like a very
exciting time in your life.

The best.

And your business is doing well?

So far, so good.

My best sellers are my quiche.

Over 50 varieties.

Have you ever had duck quiche?

No. You will today.

It's funny, but we were all
kind of thrown together.

I loved it.

After 20 years of my boys,

It was nice having
girls around the house.

No adjustment problems?

You know what the
hardest part was?

Never knowing how much

I should involve myself
in their personal lives.

After all, I wasn't
their parents.

Counseling was not my job.

I tried to be very careful
not to overstep myself.

How did you do?

I failed miserably
most of the time.

You see, I was there.

When they were in trouble
or they had a problem,

And I thought I could help,

I just couldn't
keep from jumping in.

Of course, they jumped
into my life a lot, too.

But then, that's the way it
is with friends, with family.

We live under the same roof.
We have our meals together.

We scream. We yell.

Yes, I feel comfortable
in saying that.

We're a family.

There are times I wonder what
it will be like when they're gone.

I wonder if I'll be lonely.

Of course I will be. Terribly.

I was when my boys moved out.

But then, as I said... Change.

When I decided to open my shop,

Jo, blair, natalie, and tootie
petitioned eastland school

To make me an honorary graduate.

I even have a diploma.

There it is, hanging
right over the spice rack.

No, no, that's my
tupperware certificate.

Well, I wore a cap and gown.

They called my name
and I went up on the stage.

I'm an honorary
eastland girl. Class of '82.

It's been quite an experience

Watching my girls grow up.

I'm very proud of them.

You know, beth, I wasn't
exactly looking forward

To this afternoon.

But talking about the girls...

Sometimes I take the
people I love for granted.

You've helped me remember
what a lucky person I am.

I'm glad, edna.

So am i.

Hi, girls. Hi.

Anybody have dinner yet?

Not yet. Oh, good.

I'd like to take you
into town to dominic's

For a steak dinner...
Come as you are, my treat.

Dominic's in the
middle of the week?

That's right, come
on, come on, let's go.

What's the occasion?

It's the middle of the week!

I love your reasoning,
mrs. Garrett.

It's good enough for me.

I want the seat facing
the lobster t*nk.

Oh, please, natalie.
You stare at them,

You give them names, then
you feel too guilty to eat.

I'm just entertaining myself.

I'll entertain you. Let's go.

I'm getting steak and lobster.

Okay, thanks, jo. Thanks.

♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage
and enjoy the fun of managin' ♪

♪ The facts of life,
they shed a lot of light ♪

♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪

♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪

♪ Better get 'em right,
call her late at night ♪

♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪

♪ All you gotta do
to get you through ♪

♪ Is understand ♪

♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪

♪ You'll never
make it through ♪♪
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