07x08 - Come Back to the Truck Stop, Natalie Green, Natalie Green

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ Then suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

Thank you.

Oops. Excuse me.

Somebody might want
to take it for a joy ride.

Hello oh blair, it's so
good to hear your...

Recorded voice.

Okay here it is in
30 seconds or less.

Natalie green on
the road is a bust.

I'm coming home that's all.

Oh, um, about your bike?

I've had it modified bye.

I'll have a... Coffee's fine.

"Day nine on my
journey to nowhere.

"Been trying to find
people to write about,

"Arrived in philly this morning

"Ate breakfast at
the 5th street mission.

Best soup I ever had."

Ready?

All I want is dessert
what pie do you have?

Apple.

Don't I get a choice?

Hot or cold?

Give me a minute.

"A diner in the
middle of no where

"I'll bet all kinds
of people come here.

"Everyone travels this
highway sooner or later.

They've gotta eat."

Excuse me, but this must be a
really interesting to place work.

Lots of exciting
things happening.

Had a storm last year.

Knocked down all
the power lines.

A power failure. Great!

People trapped.
Panic breaks out.

Man against man.

The meat went bad.

There's got to be must be
a story in here somewhere.

What you hauling bill?

Pine board. You?

Fertilizer.

Scratch the trucker story.

Ready?

When's the bus to peekskill?

Midnight.

Waitress?

How about it huh?

Four hours, what am I gonna
do in this dive for four hours?

I could give it another sh*t.

Come on green you're
a writer. So write.

Start with something
basic, like a word.

Okay too big a
jump. Try a letter.

A... This is going nowhere.

Okay green what's the
first rule of writing...

Write about something you know.

Hey lady you call this coffee?

I wouldn't wash
the floor with this.

That's rather insulting.

I'll get you another cup.

Another cup is she kidding? I'd
like to see him try that with jo.

You asked for the cream?

Hey!

I'm so sorry.

The top must've been loose.

How would you like it if I drove my
rig right through your front door.

I hope he trips and
falls on his head.

You got it.

Must be my lucky day.

"She was a gutsy brunette.

"Her name was joanne.

"Joanne... Burger."

You want something?

Uh... A hamburger.

Anything else?

No.

So you been doing this long?

Nah just sort of came to me.

Always been good with my hands.

I meant waitressing. How
long have you been a waitress?

All my life.

You must be tired of it
after all these years.

I got no complaints.

But deep down you
still got dreams right?

You know I got the same
dream everyone has...

I want to be a beautician.

Okay I've created a waitress

Who wants to be a beautician.

What I need now is a plot.

Drama, suspense.

That's better.

"She was regal. Refined.

"There was something
about the way she moved.

"Every gesture calculated.

Every move perfection."

No. Too perfect.
Nobody would like her.

"She had one tiny flaw...

"She was a tad clumsy.

"Very endearing.

But the question remained
"who was this mystery woman?

And what was she
doing at bernie's?"

She's looking for
something but what.

A diamond tiara? Microfilm?

Been done.

It's got to be
something unexpected.

Could you pass the sugar?

I wasn't expecting that.

There must be more.

Hi I'm natalie. Natalie green.

And you're... Fond of sugar.

By the way nice dress.

It must be worth a fortune.

It cost me more
than you can imagine.

Oh, that's good.

So you come here often?

I guess you'd rather be alone.

Maybe we can play a game.

I call it 20 questions.

Games!

I've played them all,

And there are no winners.

Feel free to elaborate.

I would, but I won't.

Got it.

Another dead end.

You dont have much traffic here.

Nope... Not since they
closed the airstrip.

Airstrip?

That's the last time
I buy spark plugs

On the black market.

Now we're talking story.

"Trudy hathaway.

"Adventurer extraordinaire.

Free spirit. Living
on the edge."

Do you want something?

You got something
to cut the dust.

Water?

Something stronger.

Milk.

I'll take it.

"Aviatrix. Stunt pilot.

"Part of a lost breed

Of rugged individualists."

Another!

Looks like you've
come a long way.

Oh I bet that's foreign soil?

Amazon river mud.

Don't tell me
you've just flown in

From a safari in the
jugjunglesles of south america.

You've guessed it.

We were heading down river

With medical supplies
for the pygmies.

The pygmies are from africa!

I was misinformed.

What happened? You where
headed down the river.

When suddenly this gaint
crocodigiantle bursts up out the water!

He pulled you from the
boat, dragged you under!

No. It went away.

I was looking for something
more a little more exciting.

Well once I was flying the
crown jewels back to london.

I was cruising 30,000
over pago pago when...

Something happened.

The engine burst into flames.

Right! Singed the hair
right off my eyebrows.

I flew right into a blizzard.

Pago pago's in the tropics.

It was dark. I was lost.

Now where was i?

The engine on fire.

Your eyebrows gone.

Right so she cuts out
and she starts to nose dive.

We're making progress.

So I touched her down at
the air port at the airport.

Why you do that?

Seeemsseemed like
the best place to land.

What happened next?

I was held up for 48 hours.

At g*n point.

At the holiday inn
without a reservation.

Boy I was desperate.

It was a rescue mission.

Really? Who'd you rescue?

You know I was just
trying to remember that

Somebody popular. A
diplomat or something.

Pearl bailey.

No. Someone more international.

The queen mum?

It wasn't a head of state.

Julio iglesias.

Someone with more influence.

Would you give me a
minute to think please.

Princess diana.

A compromising situation.

Princess diana
and julio iglesias.

Thats believable we got a
truck stop, a schizo pilot,

The woman in red.

All I need now is for charo
to walk threw the front door.

♪ Cuanto le gusta,
le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ Le gusta, le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ Cuanto le gusta,
le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ Le gusta, le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ We got to get going ♪

♪ Where are we going ♪

♪ What are we gonna do ♪

♪ We're on our
way to somewhere ♪

♪ The three of us and you ♪

♪ Cuanto le gusta,
le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ Le gusta, le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ Cuanto le gusta,
le gusta, le gusta ♪

♪ Le gusta, le gusta, le gusta ♪

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Whoa, guys!

♪ Rumba ♪

♪ Samba ♪

♪ I just want to samba ♪♪

You can't do this!

Come on, honey. Join the party.

Come on, honey. Join the party.

I'm in charge here
your my characters.

You have to do what I say!

Don't make me do
something I don't want to do.

That's it!

You, out!

You don't want to
hear malagueña?

Out of my story.

Now!

Good-bye.

One, two, three, aah!

One, two, three, aah!

Ow!

Where'd you get the g*n?

I found it on the floor floor.

This yours?

Of course not.

Look the owners'
names are printed on it.

Smith and wesson.

That's the manufacturers.

Give me that.

You know what I think?

I think one of you brought
the g*n here tonight,

And plan to use it.

For what?

To sh**t people.

A m*rder? Here?

That's ridiculous.

No. Not really.

Murders happen all the time.

Now, the question
is... Who is the k*ller?

Who is the victim?

And what is the motive?

Well until you come up
with one there is no motive.

Because there's no k*ller.

What are you talking about?

Because there is no b*ll*ts.

Are no b*ll*ts.

Put this in the lost and found.

But there could be a good reason

Somebody could've
taken the b*ll*ts out.

Now that's pretty lame.

Sounds stupid to me.

I wouldn't buy that.

Trust me this is important.

I'm bored.

What do we do now?

I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Let's try somebody
else's imagination.

Yeah. Let's go.

Maybe jackie collins is looking
for some new characters.

Havn't you ever you've
never heard of writer's block?

Give me a minute.

All right, but that's all.

This is excruciating when
does the next bus arrive?

Right about now.

Looking for something?

I just found it.

You're going?

Give me a good reason to stay.

Engine should be
cooled down now.

Fly time.

Yea you should
pay up I gotta close

Come on guys we're
just starting to cook.

Keep in touch.

Wait! You're not going.

Why not?

Because, uh, because
the bridge is washed out.

Thats ridiculous it's
not even raining outside.

Excuse me ladies is
anyone waiting for my bus?

Yes.

Well, it's gonna be a
while the bridge is out.

I can't figure it it was
clear as a bell a minute ago.

Coffee?

Sure I'll go for anything once.

Yeah those flash floods
can strike like that.

I was in china once
the monsoons hit early.

No more stories.

I'm not spending another
hour in this whole in the wall

I'll pay you $200 to
fly me out of here.

You got a deal.

Except her check is no good.

You couldn't know that.

She knew about the bridge.

Well thats alright
you can owe it to me.

I could use the company.

It gets lonely at 30,000.

I was flying over tokyo once
and I fell asleep at the controls...

You're not flying anywhere,

Since visibility is zero.

It is?

Is it?

I don't know.

I can't see a thing.

I guess you're all stuck here
till this strom blows over.

Coffee anyone?

"The arrival of the
lady in red at burnies

"Was no accident.

"She had been waiting long time

"For something very important...

"Like a letter.

"Could the letter
contain a secret,

A secret she would keep?"

Do you see the police?

The police!

See if they got every
breath you take?

What's that?

What's what? A letter.

But I can't make out
who it's addressed to.

Thats because its addressed to
joann burger. From a law office.

Must be about that
food poisoning suit.

I don't believe this.

What what?

It's gotta be some
kind of a joke.

What?

Well it says here that I've
inherited the sum $1 million dollars.

From the estate of the
late sir reginald hunter.

I love it it's a classic
cinderella story.

Poor waitress one
minute, millionaire the next.

But I don't know
reginald hunter.

Then right back
to poor waitress.

I love twist endings.

Does he have to be here

No, but he's cute
in the uniform.

Hunter. Reginald hunter.

Sir reginald hunter?

Financier? Playboy jet setter?

Ring a bell?

A simple case of
mistaken identity.

Burger is a common name.

Yea she's right I mean who would
leave his fortune to a perfect stranger?

I'm going by the post
office I'll just drop it off.

Wait a minute.

It couldn't be reggie.

No no he had holes in his shoes.

Weeks wroth of stubble.

Who's reggie?

Real screwball.

Came in one night with
car trouble or something.

He asked me not
to call him "sir."

So what happened?

Gave him a slice of
pie and a cup of coffee.

Maybe he forgot to leave a tip.

He started talking
about his daughter.

I can't believe we're
going on with this!

What about his daughter?

Well he said how he
gave her everything.

She wasted it on
frivolous things.

So I said, "you can't
appreciate a good omelet

Until you hatched one yourself."

I got a lot of
good lines like that.

What were you
doing with her letter?

This is absurd!

I'm leaving!

Get a load of this!

Ahh!

Blaine hunter!

Looks like we found
our spoiled daughter.

So came here to
steal my fortune, huh?

You don't deserve
my father's money.

I have a reputation
to live up too.

A revolving credit at bloomie's.

What would I do without money?

You must have some skills.

I can curtsy.

Want to see?

I finished the dishes
is there anything else?

I thought you
where the bus driver!

Your right I was.

Relax. You're moonlighting.

I'm moonlighting!

Give me that will!

I'm the next... It's
a matter of blood!

Yours!

Oh that's a pork chop.

My mistake.

Give me that will.

So tampering with my mail
wasn't serious enough huh.

Now you're adding m*rder?

I nearly d*ed when they told
me daddy didn't leave me a...

I had to find out who was getting
my money so I bribed the executor.

And he told me about the letter.

Now im going to
get what I deserve.

What about the body?

It ill be dead.

You don't have the guts to sh**t me
you don't even know how to use that thing.

Anybody can be wrong.

You forgot one thing.

The g*n's not loaded.

Do something!

I'm up a creek here.

You're a nasty villain.

You deserve it.

I never thought it
would come to m*rder.

I wasn't against it, I
just never thought of it.

I simply wanted to destroy
the will before you got it.

I guess daddy was right.

Go head keep the money.

I never deserved it.

If you're looking
for sympathy...

Just a small loan. 50,000?

Well I hate to
break up the party.

Is this come kind of a joke.

Guess not.

You were so obsessed with someone
being ahead of you on the will,

You forgot to look behind you.

I'm third in line.

Now why would daddy
leave anything to you?

Remember the rescue
story I was telling you about?

You rescued my
father in pago pago?

It wasn't exactly pago
pago it was poughkeepsie.

I accidently dropped
a load ddt on him.

You're a crop duster?

What of it?

It's a very important
job thank you for doing it.

I learned on my plane on
the high way and after a

Little mouth-to-mouth,
he was revived in no time.

And for that get my fortune?

You squandered his money.

You gave him a slice of pie.

I saved his life, I
deserve the million bucks.

You saved his life? You
nearly poisoned him to death!

A little ddt never
k*lled anybody.

But this has.

You might get one of us
you might even get two of us.

But you'll never all three.

Two is bad enough.

Stand back!

We can make a deal bump her off.

Split the fortune.

Come on she's a hick
wench from the boondocks.

Who'd miss her?

Yea you could turn
me into swiss cheese.

But you still wouldn't
get your fortune.

Why not?

Because I'm not the waitress!

Then who are you?

I'm a cop!

I'm supposed to
believe that your a cop?

If your a cop then
who's the waitress?

Hello.

Anyone for chocolate chips?

You mean she's the waitress?

I'm as surprised as you.

Time out.

Now why are you
here? Who hired you?

I was retained by
the hunter estate

To protect the
real joann burger.

That's me.

You mean the waitress
thing was an act?

100% Ad-lib.

Not a bad performance.

You're lucky this coffee
didn't blow your cover.

Have a cookie?

These are really good.

Your father thought so.

Well I guess you've all
learned a lesson about greed.

Easy for you to say
you got the million bucks.

Oh I don't care about the
money just I'm trying to decide

Which charity to give it to.

Let me help you.

This is very disappointing.

But you're a police officer!

Yeah and you know
how much cops make.

Well now is that
gross or take-home?

It's rhetorical.

Now I can take the long
vacation I've wanted.

I may see pago pago.

It's a brilliant crime.

It's perfect. You have
to admit its perfect.

Except there's one tiny flaw.

Reggie forgot to sign the check.

Oh come on what?

Oh, well.

It's only money.

What you could all
use is some real coffee.

Not for me. I'm leaving.

Yeah me too.

The check wasn't signed?

I'm not buying that.

The like the ending, inspired.

But I deserve the money.

See now everything I love but
the ending I still don't buy it.

But you were believable!

Oh yeah oh so were you.

Was my entrance right?

I had to balance all those
cookies and everything.

"And they who had met by chance

"Went elsewhere to
seek their fortunes.

The end."

Oh wait a minute!

"The... End."

Will there be anything else?

No, thank you.

You know you've got
happening place here.

♪ Stand by ♪

♪ Your man ♪♪