07x17 - The Reunion

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ Then suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

Here they are.

Authentic peekskill
high gym shorts.

The alums coming back for the
reunion are gonna grab these up.

We're out of small pirates.

We've sold all
the small pirates.




All we have are large pirates.

What do we tell the
people who come in

And want small pirates?

Tootie, if the small
ones are all gone,

Who can tell these are large?

Keep your shorts on, girls,
hot stuff coming through!

What's that, andy?

The is the complete,
the uncensored...

George's high school yearbook!?

Where'd you get that?

George loaned it to me
for the day and what a day.

Here's just a sample.

"George, you have spoiled
me for all other men."

You're making
this up, no, he's not!

And there's more.

Pages filled with
smoldering lust.

"I'll never forget
you, animal man."

Oh, come on.

Don't you think you're a
little young to be reading this?

Actually, I promised
george I'd quiz him later

On the names for
the reunion friday.

He doesn't wanna blank out on somebody
he may have been engaged to briefly.

That is quite a
reputation to live up to.

Practically every girl
in the school signed this.

They did more than sign.

There's lipstick on this one.

And it's still moist!

I'd love to know that brand.

Ah, look! There's george.

Look at those sideburns.

"George burnett...
Big man on campus,

"Most popular, best undressed...

Most valuable
player off the field."

Maybe we we should
get rid of those pirates

And sell little george dolls.

Hey, guys.

Animal man! What?

George, it's not my fault.

They tricked me
into showing them.

That wasn't for
public consumption.

George, we gotta
get to studying,

Or you're never gonna be able to
tell the borowitz twins apart by friday.

No, I changed my mind, I'm
not going to the reunion.

George, you've been
talking about this for weeks.

Yeah, seeing your old
pals, talking over old times.

I really wish I could go
but I don't have a date.

You?

The big man on campus?

Voted most likely
to be a bigamist?

Well, I can't just
show up with anybody.

I have to find a blonde goddess.

Only one person
that would qualify.

Bikini magazine's miss january.

Who wears a bikini in january?

Right, she got
bronchitis and canceled.

So get another date.

No, see you don't understand.

It can't just be any date.

It has to be the date.

I gotta face belinda michaels.

Who? Page 43, bottom left.

Oh, my god!

Hey, george, she didn't
sign the yearbook.

She was too good for me.

I couldn't even get a
date with her, miss perfect.

"Head cheerleader, prom queen,

Best coordinated sportswear."

Wow!

Yeah, I was crazy about her.

But like I said, she
was too good for me.

Last I heard, she married into
corporate money and four houses.

See, I can't face her
without my own miss perfect.

Then all we need is a blonde
goddess to go with him.

Now don't rope me into this.

No, it's okay, look, I'll live.

Actually, it'd be quite useful.

I've got this new formal gown

I've been wanting to break in.

You mean you'll go?

George, what you
want is revenge.

It's shallow,
vindictive, and immature.

Let's go for it.

So that's the k*ller
dress, huh, very impressive.

Well, it was a choice
between this one

And my black and silver dress.

Well, they're both devastating,

But this one's more expensive.

[Doorbell rings]

Hey, jonathan, what
are you doing here?

Well, blair and I are going to
the governor's ball tonight.

Did blair agree to this?

Oh, yeah, I asked
her a month ago

To make sure she couldn't come
up with an excuse not to go with me.

Hi, jonathan, what
are you doing here?

Jo, could I see
you for a moment?

Excuse me.

Tell him I'm not here!

I can't do that, he already saw
you dressed up and everything.

What are you doing
with two dates anyway?

I forgot!

How do you forget
the governor's ball?

He asked me two months ago.

One month!

Well, the idiot
could have called.

What about george?

Call him, he'll understand.

I am not gonna call him.

Jo! All right, I'll call him.

But you're gonna talk to him.

Tiniest bathroom, I'll tell you.

Just about ready, jonathan.

Let me just take this
one quick phone call.

Mr. Burnett, this is
blair, is george there?

Oh, will, uh, will
you take a message?

Tell him that
i, um... I... Um...

Will call him later, thanks.

You explain it to him.

Why should I explain it to him?

Because you're a
caring and giving person.

My, you look nice tonight.

Is that a clip-on tie?

Blair, you cannot just
dump george for another guy

An hour before he
comes to pick you up.

Jo, this is not just another
guy, this is jonathan.

The last time I
cancelled a date with him

He tied himself to my car.

Blair, tonight is very
important to george.

Jo, george was a
popular guy in high school.

He won't be alone for long.

There's nothing I can do!

Hey, blair, you look fantastic.

George won't be disappointed.

[Horn honks]

I got to go.

I'm sorry.

What's going on?

She booked two dates
for the same night.

No!

Yeah, so she's dumping george
to go to the governor's ball.

And I have to explain it to him.

If it were me, I'd lie.

What?

Rather than tell
him blair dumped him.

It'd be like belinda
michaels all over again.

I'll tell him.

How?

I'll think of a way.

Oh, my goodness,
look at this guy.

Tootie, I cannot believe you are
shopping for guys in that yearbook.

And george is about to
have his dreams shattered.

Is he gonna be there tonight?

Well, if not,
there's always him.

Ronnie sheldon: "world
affairs council, hockey team."

Body and brains, I'm in love.

He's probably married.

Oh, could be, he sat right next
to lisa snelling in homeroom.

Oh, and they were
both in spanish club.

Ugh!

Well, wait, natalie,
maybe they got a divorce.

Maybe it was ugly and now ronnie

Needs a shoulder to cry on.

I've got shoulders.

I'm here.

Is my date ready?

George!

It's... You.

Yeah, it certainly
is, how do I look?

Stunning.

So stunning you
don't even need a date.

Well, just as long as
belinda gets the full effect.

You know, me and blair

Gazing longingly
into each other's eyes.

So where's blair? Let's, uh,
let's get the gazing going.

Well, george, there's been
a change in the program,

Which jo will tell you about.

Can't you give me a hint?

No, no, we don't wanna,
you know, spoil it.

Jo felt that she
could present it

In a more mature
and sensitive manner.

And we didn't want to do it.

Blair's not going?

Well, we can't say for certain,

But yes, she's not going.

I don't have a date?

Yes, you do.

Uh, blair asked me
to apologize, she...

Got called away
at the last minute.

It's, it's a government thing.

She's real sorry.

So you're coming with me?

I'm know I'm not exactly
a blonde goddess,

So if you wanna
call it off, that's fine.

No, it's terrific,
you, you look great.

Yeah, where'd you get the dress?

It's blair's.

I figured if she can't make
it, at least her dress could.

Oh, yeah, and, uh,
here are your notes.

My notes?

Yeah, you know,

Where we met,
where you were born,

Favorite song, favorite island.

George, I've had history
tests that cover less than this.

No, it's very simple.

"It all began for us
in 1980 in ecuador?"

Now they're holding the
reunion at a swiss restaurant.

I think it would really
impress everyone

If you spoke to
the waiters in swiss.

There is no swiss language.

Can you yodel?

All right, now, uh, tell
me again what I did in '82.

That part of my life
is still a little cloudy.

You were in britain
acting as the president's

Special emissary
for cultural affairs.

Was that before or after
I won the america's cup?

Before the cup,
after the preakness.

Check.

Yo ho, mates!

Who's long john silver?

Okay, very important,
howie plotnik,

He's the peekskill pirate
mascot and class mouth.

Anything you say to him

Will be all around the
room in five minutes.

Howie!

Well, avast, me hearties!

We've spotted george
burnett off the port starboard!

Same old howie.

Oh, howie plotnik.

Meet whitney worthington.

My fiancée.

How arrrrre ya?

Ship shape.

Whitney here's the granddaughter

Of the archduke and
duchess of worthington.

The homecoming queen wasn't
good enough for old george.

He has to marry real royalty.

Well, uh, I guess I'll
get me some grog.

Perfect.

Whitney worthington?

Is there anything else
about my life I should know

Like the exact date I
won the nobel prize?

Which one,
literature or physics?

Grrr!

Whitney, this is warren polaski.

We call him crusher.

'Cause I crush quarterbacks.

Got three of 'em in '75!

How are you doing?

I'm great, thank you.

So what are you up
to these days, georgie?

Well, crush, I'm a,
I'm a business magnet.

Magnet, yeah, I hang
those on my refrigerator.

No, crush, hardware.

I took my dad's business,
made it into a chain.

Burnett's home
supplies, it's very big.

Never heard of it.

Ever been to canada? No.

We're mostly in canada

Whitney here's a musician.

Oh, no kidding.

Yeah, yeah, i, uh...

I play with the philharmonic.

I conduct the philharmonic.

I own the philharmonic.

Wow! That's great.

Say, george,
remember doreen smith?

Are you kidding, how
could I forget doreen?

She and I used to meet in the
locker room after the games.

Every time I smell sweat socks,

I think about old,
ditzy doreen, huh?

We're married now.

Great! That's great.

Well, gotta mix.

I knew it, nowhere in here does
it say that I own the philharmonic.

I was improvising.

Well, knock it off, all right?

From now on, I am just plain
duchess whitney worthington,

Olympic medalist and
psychic, no more, no less.

What?

She's here.

Oh, she's gorgeous.

Don't look!

What do you want me to do?

I don't know, be yourself,
act like you adore me.

How?

Was that in the notes?

She missed it, come on,
we gotta get her attention.

Well, well, george burnett.

And I see you haven't changed.

Belinda.

I can't believe it.

You're looking wonderful.

You, too.

Oh, excuse me.

Belinda, this is my fiancée.

I heard all about you
from howie, your grace.

Who's grace?

Oh, my grace!

Right, charmed, I'm sure.

So how have you been?
Where do you live?

Where's your husband?

Uh, fine, uh, cleveland.

He's on a business trip.

Oh, well, to bring
you up to date,

Whitney and I met in timbuktu.

I was on safari and contracted
beriberi and was blind.

Whitney here was
donating a hospital.

She cured me, and it
was love at first sight.

You're a doctor, too.

Apparently.

Hey, speaking of doctors,

Whitney and I are
gonna be married at sea.

Nothing fancy, just 3500 of
our close friends on the qe2

For a quick jaunt
to guadalajara.

How romantic.

You're a lucky guy.

Uh-huh, pretty big in
the business world, too.

Hardware.

I don't like to brag
but let's just say,

Wherever you go,
something of ours

Is holding something
of yours together.

I always knew you had it in you.

Uh-huh.

Well, I'm sure you two have
plenty of people to see tonight.

I don't want to hold you up.

It was nice meeting
you, duchess.

Good luck to you both.

She was really nice, george.

She seemed very happy for you.

Don't you believe it.

That woman used to
t*rture teenage boys.

She left a trail of broken egos.

So now it's your turn.

Yeah.

Right now she's thinking,

"Boy, you know, I should
have gone out with old george

And now it's too late."

You're a real friend, jo.

Hey, come on, george, we're
gonna sing some fight songs.

And everyone
wants you to lead 'em.

Oh, sure, you coming, dear?

I think I'll sit this one out.

♪ Oh, the peekskill pirates ♪

♪ Pelt and plunder ♪

♪ Push 'em off the plank ♪

♪ Push 'em off the plank ♪♪

Hi again. Hi.

Thanks.

Aren't reunions weird?

I'll say.

I was nervous that
once I got here,

Nobody from the in-crowd
would remember me.

Now I can't even in remember
who was in the in-crowd.

It's so silly, it's like being in
the tenth grade all over again.

Yeah.

So being a duchess,

Guess you didn't exactly
go to a public school.

Probably had a private tutor.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was, uh, I was
my own in-crowd.

Listen, I'm really
happy for you.

Thanks.

No, I really am.

I don't know if
you knew but, uh...

I had a major crush on
george my senior year.

I wanted to go out
with him so badly.

Well, why didn't
you? I'm sure he asked.

Oh, he asked but,
uh, he was dating

Three of my girlfriends
at the same time.

I never was one
for group romance.

I know what you mean.

I never allow it in the castle.

Oh, my husband...
My ex-husband...

Wait a minute, I
thought you said

He was away on a business trip.

He is, and he's not coming back.

Anyway, he looked
a lot like george,

Except he didn't
have george's spirit.

With him, it was
work, work, work.

Work, work, work.

George doesn't
have that problem.

Uh, excuse me, they're
playing our song.

Shall we, dear?

It was nice talking to
you, whitney. Same here.

Come on, duchess, they're
saving the spotlight for us.

If you wanna dance,
we'll dance right here.

Okay.

You know, she really
likes you, george.

She even liked
you in high school.

Oh, sure, I could tell
by the way she used to

Cut me off at the knees
every time I asked her out.

That's because you were
dating three of her best friends.

That's because I was trying
to get closer to belinda.

Oh, good strategy, george.

Confuse her into dating you.

What would you say if I told
you she thinks you're terrific

And she regrets never
having gone out with you.

I'd say you did your
job, and thank you.

How about if you could've
walked in here tonight without me

And left with belinda?

Come on, jo, it's not funny.

I'm serious, george.

She told me that her
husband looks exactly like you

But she divorced him because
he didn't have your spirit.

She's not married?

I blew it...

For the second
decade in a row, I blew it.

Uh, belinda, wait, um...

There's something
I have to tell you.

What is it?

Uh, it's george.

I just told him I can't marry
him, I thought you should know.

Why? What's wrong?

Uh, I'm not good enough for him.

You're a duchess.

Okay, I am good
enough for him, but, uh...

I can't marry him because, uh...

He doesn't love me.

Oh, he does, I know he does.

I can see it in his eyes.

All right. He does love me,

But I can't marry
him because, uh...

He's a commoner.

Really?

Yeah, yeah, I'll lose
my castle, my titles.

All the other duchesses
will make fun of me.

Why are you telling me this?

Because he likes
you, and he needs you.

You can give him what
I can't, now that you...

Oh, forget it, george?

Yes, dear.

Why don't you dance with george?

You and I are through.

I'm sorry.

You must be devastated.

Well... Yes.

And a little confused.

Well, maybe I can
make it better.

How long has it been?

Too long.

George...

All those times you
asked me out and I said no.

You know what I
really wanted to say?

Sorry I'm late, darling!

Blair.

That's right, dear.

And I see you've been
passing the time without me?

I'm blair warner,
george's fiancée.

Really?

Really, and you are?

Belinda.

Oh, belinda!

I guess you know I'm an
olympic gold medalist and

George and I are to be married

On people's court
by judge wapner.

Uh, sounds like you've got
lots of wedding plans, george.

Uh... Blair?

Jo, what are you doing here?

And in my dress.

You two know each other?

We're roommates.

That's disgusting.

Let's talk.

Belinda, wait.

Whitney's not a duchess,
she's not even a whitney.

And blair?

Oh, no, now, blair's a blair.

She's not the blair
you think she is.

George.

Why are you doing here?

I felt guilty.

I was halfway to the
ball and I thought,

"What are you doing?

George is your friend."

So I came back.

And what about jonathan?

Oh, he took it very well.

I called the auto club.

They should have him
out of the trunk in no time.

Yeah, well, great, now
george is in a lot of trouble.

Well, maybe we can
figure out something.

Natalie?

No, marsha beagelman.

Girls service club president,

And this is lorraine gibbons.

Field hockey, state champs.

How long have you been here?

Long enough, duchess.

He made you a duchess?

I was only going
to be a countess.

Blair, we gotta do something.

Now belinda thinks
george is really sleaze.

You're right, we need
a convincing story.

Okay, here goes.

You're a duchess
and this was her plot

To overthrow your government.

No, not believable.

I know, the evil twin.

What?

You two are twin sisters
but one of you is evil

And will stop at nothing to
ruin the other's happiness.

That is ridiculous.

I was gonna make
you the nice twin.

I like my idea better.

Will you be serious?

Look, here she comes.

Belinda, um...

Well... Uh, blair
and I are twins see,

And, uh...

It's all right, george
told me everything.

So everything's okay?

Well, no, I don't really
care for what he did...

But she's willing
to let it slide.

Yes.

Frankly, I'm flattered you
all went to so much effort.

Oh, don't thank us.

Well, george and I are going
for coffee, you wanna join us?

Uh... No.

No, thank you.

We'll see you later.

Ok, bye, guys.

And thanks... Hot lips.