07x19 - Atlantic City

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ Then suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

Oh, it's a long weekend.

I wanna do something,
I wanna go some place.

Hey, look at this.

Flyman is playing
in atlantic city.

Flyman? My flyman?

What exactly is a flyman?

Last spring break,

Jo and flyman had this
really steamy thing going.

Steamy?

We were just friends.

Close friends.

Friends who kissed.

Uh, let me narrow this down.

Does he perchance
jump off tall buildings

Into tiny cups of water?

Hey, don't you
think it's strange

That he's playing so
close and he didn't call?

Well, maybe he lost the number.

Why don't we all go down to
atlantic city and surprise him?

Yeah, we could go and catch
the first bus back in the morning.

Atlantic city by bus, wow.

You think we could
stop off in trenton?

Okay, we go, but just
to be on the safe side,

I'll hold on to
everybody's money.

Natalie.

Jo, the town is full of gigolos,

Hucksters, con artists.

They have gambling there.

Gambling in atlantic city?

I don't believe it.

I can't wait to get there.

Hey, who knows
how to play craps?

Tootie, you have
to be 21 to gamble.

Well, that's no
problem, I'm an actress.

I can act 21.

All right, flyman.

He does an act,
met him in florida.

Huh, I got it.

He's a high-diving
cuban trapeze artist.

He's a rock'n'roll singer.

You're trying to
confuse me, aren't you?

Think we're in the right place?

Well, let's see.

"Welcome,
taxidermists of america

And nuclear waste
disposal conference."

Do we know where to
come to meet men, or what?

Oh, look, here's his picture.

"Playing nightly
in the baltic room."

Sounds classy.

I'll bet you a lot of
classy people come here.

While you're at it,
send flowers to gigi,

Cancel my lunch with ronnie,

And telex my
husband, the general,

And tell him his
21-year-old wife

Will come home when
she's good and ready.

Why are you walking like that?

Shh, I don't want anyone to
know where I'm keeping the money.

So let's go see
if we can find him.

Blair, I haven't seen flyman
since last spring break.

What if I see him again
and there's no spark?

What if he's a dud or something?

Then you pretend you've
had a wonderful time.

You say goodbye,
and that's that.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I mean, what's the
worst that could happen?

Right.

What if I'm the dud?

Jo.

He could have been
building me up in his mind

Till I reached
mythic proportions.

You actually think
he'll be expecting a myth?

All right, maybe not
a myth, but somebody...

Intelligent, good
looking, fun to be around?

Yeah.

That's you.

Thanks, blair, all right,
I'll go look for him.

And if he's disappointed,
he'll laugh have a good laugh.

That'll be that.

Vegas has become too garish,

And monte carlo has
become so so déclassé.

Would you like some chips?

Oh, no, thank you,
I'm not hungry.

I think he means

Would you like some
chips to bet with?

Oh.

Um... Yes, okay, chips,
right, of course.

Well, you see, in monte
carlo, we don't call them chips.

We call them... Little
round bits of plastic.

My secretary here
handles all of my finances.

Natalie, give the
gentleman $25 for chips.

Tootie, that's your
whole fun-time budget.

You sure you want
to blow it here?

Give it to him.

Okay.

There you go, ma'am.

Well, that's just one chip.

Yep.

You think maybe he's
saving the rest for me

And will give them
to me as I need them?

I'd say the odds
were against that.

Okay, so what do I do now?

Put the chip in
the little square.

All right, now what?

I take it.

And you said this
was hard to learn.

Excuse me, miss.

Do you have an i.d.?

Oh, well, certainly.

Here's my driver's license.

So, 1938... You're...
47 Years old?

You're holding up pretty
well for your age there,

Mrs. Wong ming chang.

It's all that msg.

I've got an idea.

Why don't you take this
down to the souvenir shop

And spend it and we'll
call it even, okay?

I just love a man
with discretion.

So?

Well, I can't find him.
Looked everywhere, let's go.

Come on, what are you afraid of?

Blair, it's been a
year, he's a musician.

He's probably
forgotten all about me.

Don't be ridiculous, he's
gonna love seeing you.

Excuse me.

Oh, no, not you.

See? He does remember.

Jo!

Flyman.

What are you doing here?

Uh, well, I was in town, saw
your picture in the lobby.

Thought I'd say hi.

Well, now I gotta get
back to the convention.

It's the, uh... You
know, the, um...

Nuclear waste symposium.

That's the one.

I thought you ran a gift shop.

You're right, I do.

It's, it's sort of a
combination gift shop...

Disposal site.

I've been thinking
about you a lot.

You wouldn't have time for
like a cup of coffee or anything?

Oh, cup of coffee, sure,
that would be great.

No, you two go
ahead, I'll be fine.

So I went solo and
the rest is history.

Oh, I'm really happy for you.

You know, you're such
a talented songwriter.

Yeah, well, you're right.

Excuse me, I just have one
question for mr. Flyman.

7, 11, You win.

2, 3, Or 12 you lose.

Thanks.

Idle curiosity.

So I'm really looking
forward to hearing you.

See, that's unfortunate
thing, you can't.

Why can't i?

I just finished my
last set, I'm moving on.

Oh, that's too bad.

What's a pass line? I
have to know right now.

You're betting that you roll
your point before you roll seven.

Got it.

Wonderful spectator sport.

So where are you
gonna be going next?

Oh, someplace pretty far away.

England, I think.

England, oh.

Well, maybe we could all go out
tonight and wish you bon voyage.

You know, jo, I
would really love to,

But I got this big meeting
with the record company at 7:00.

7:00, Huh?

Well, maybe when you get back.

I have to roll ten the hard way.

I don't know what it
is, tell me what it is!

Two fives.

Blair!

We'll chat later.

I'm sorry, she's not
usually like this.

Listen, I gotta go, but...

Uh, maybe I'll stop by
peekskill on my american tour.

It was really nice
seeing you again, jo.

Yeah, great seeing you.

Blair, what is wrong with you?

I'm cursed. You're what?

I'm cursed with good luck.

You won all that?

Most of it.

The rest just fell out of
slot machines when I walked by.

Oh, flyman forgot
these, I'll be right back.

Uh, blair?

I'd like you to meet colin.

He and I met in
the souvenir shop.

We both think that
gambling is so juvenile.

Too true, too true.

I don't know what it is

But there's something
very suspicious about him.

So I'll see you at 7:00.

7:00 It is.

Oh, listen, you know that
girl I was sitting with...

Dark hair, nice looking? Um-hmm.

Well, see if you
can't get rid of her.

Okay.

Come on, let's just go home.

We're not having any fun anyway.

Unless you call that fun.

Want me to keep those
in my shoe for you?

I don't understand it.

Understand what?

Well, flyman told me
he had this big meeting

With his record company
when he's really meeting,

Uh, miss chicken of the sea.

Men, you can't live with me,
you can't live without them.

You have so much insight.

Are you sure you're only 21?

I'm telling you, he's
after her money.

You see the way he
keeps looking at my feet?

Natalie, he's looking at your
feet 'cause you're walking

Like you got dead
things in your shoe.

You think he suspects?
Of course he does.

We have to find a better
place to stash the money.

How about your purse?

My purse, it's so obvious.

On the other hand,
it's so obvious,

He'd never suspect
it, thanks, jo.

And how are you doing?

Awful, watch this, hit me.

Blair, you can't hit on 20...

Unless you draw an ace.

See? I cannot lose.

And it just makes me feel worse.

I mean, here I am.

Rich, beautiful, I can
have any man I want.

And what happens?

Fate just keeps handing me more.

And then there's you.

You're poor, so-so looking.

You come hundreds
of miles to see a man,

And he dumps you for
a girl in a clam suit.

No, really, I'll be fine.

You're so brave.

Excuse me, clam person.

Yes?

Could you get my
friend here a club soda?

Well, sure.

Thank you!

Blair, you just
gave her a $100 tip!

With my luck, she'll
bring me 200 in change.

Oh, isn't he
fascinating, natalie?

Look at those eyes.

They're deep, they're
dark, they're mysterious.

They're shifty, they're
blinking, they're squinting.

I'm telling you, he's
after your money.

I'll get these.

Oh, darn, I only
have large bills.

Do you happen to have
anything smaller than a two?

That's okay, this is on me.

So who's playing?

I don't know.

Here he is the mediterranean
hotel's very own

Stewie lyman!

Thank you.

You're beautiful.

I love you all sincerely.

And p.s., This is
postmarked special delivery

From me to you with love.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Tie a yellow ribbon
'round the old oak tree ♪

♪ Hey, it's been
three long years ♪

♪ Do you still want me ♪

Course, you do, baby.

♪ If I don't see that ribbon ♪

♪ 'Round this old oak tree ♪

♪ Yeah, I'll stay on the
bus, forget about us ♪

♪ Put the blame on me... ♪♪

♪ Havin' my baby ♪

♪ What a lovely way ♪

♪ To say how much you love me ♪

♪ Havin' my baby ♪♪

Yeah!

Thank you.

Whoa, thank you.

Good night.

And remember...
♪ P.s. I love you ♪

♪ You ♪♪

Thank you! I love you!

The band! Bye-bye.

So that was the big mystery.

He didn't want jo to know
he turned out to be a creep.

Jo, you wanna get up here?

I can't, he'll see me and then,

And then he'll know I saw him.

It'll be too embarrassing.

Where's jo?

Thanks.

Excuse me, jo, I
need your advice.

Now?

I seem to have lost $3,000.

$3,000? You lost 3,000
playing blackjack?

Oh, no, no, I won at blackjack.

I lost at craps,
baccarat, roulette,

Slots, the dogs, the
ponies and jai alai.

I also lost big on
the super bowl.

The super bowl was in january.

See? I needed that
inside information.

I hope you learned your lesson.

Oh, I did, I'm so ashamed.

I lost all my cash, I
maxed out my credit cards.

I'm never gonna
gamble again... Good.

Such as soon as I break even.

Which is why I need to
borrow every penny you have.

No!

All right, you're
not my only friend.

I'll ask natalie and tootie,
they won't turn me down.

Yes, we will.

Shh! Shh! What's that sound?

What?

It sounded like a $5.00
chip hitting the floor

And rolling off
in that direction.

That's a sad commentary

On the state of today's youth.

It most certainly is.

Colin?

Yes?

Your mustache is falling off.

Hello.

Remember me?

I gave you a $100 tip earlier.

Well... There's been
a small mistake.

Well, how much
did you mean to tip?

Nothing.

Well, you see the service
really wasn't that good.

Awful, now that
I think about it.

Why don't we go for a
walk on the boardwalk?

The moon is bright,
my heart is full.

And the stores are open.

Jo, I gotta follow
them, watch the purse.

All the money's in it, okay?

Yeah, all right.

Hi, jo.

Flyman.

Nice to see you, nice jacket.

You saw the show, didn't you?

The show?

Uh... Well, yeah.

I was hoping you wouldn't.

Really, why?

Because, I didn't want you to...

To see that I became a
third-rate lounge singer,

Hacking out banal renderings
of tediously mediocre music.

Oh, that.

$100, All I need is $1.00
to get back on top.

No, blair.

Hey, don't feel you have to
stay for the second show.

Let me guess, you start
out with a tribute to elvis.

Then I segue right into
the beatles, but upbeat.

Great, that was their
problem, you know.

You could never dance to them.

How could you lose
all of our money?

I'm a rotten, horrible,
untrustworthy.

And to think you blamed colin!

I didn't blame him, I just
asked him if he took it.

You put his head
in the ice bucket

And yelled, "confess,
slimy thief, confess."

Oh, so now you're back.

I'm sorry, flyman
started singing to me.

And I suddenly had the
urge to get some fresh air.

What happened?

Blair took all of our
money and gambled it.

I am so ashamed, I'm
beneath contempt.

I'm a fluff ball gathering dust

Behind the dresser of life.

What's the big deal,
you call your father.

He'll wire you some
money, you'll pay us back.

I called, he said I
was an adult now.

I had to start acting like one.

Now he tells me.

Well, at least we still
have the bus tickets.

I wouldn't gamble
the bus tickets.

I'm low, but I'm not that low.

Excuse me.

Are you the lady who
wanted to bet bus tickets?

It was a figure of speech.

Okay.

One moment, please.

I'm blair warner.

My father is david
warner of warner textiles.

And as I was
wondering if I could get

A small line of credit
from your casino?

And for collateral, you offer...

Mr. Julius, uh, I've been working
here now for several months.

And, well, I've come to
respect you as a person

And a casino manager.

And I hope that you've
come to respect me

As a human being
and musical artist.

Your name was?

Lyman, stewie lyman?

Right, right, right,
so what did you want?

Well, miss warner here is
a personal friend of mine.

And I would consider
it a personal favor

If you would give
her a small loan.

Lady, why didn't you say you were
a personal friend of stewie lyman?

I mean, this man
is a lounge singer.

Do you know what
a rare thing that is?

How many people do you know

That can sing hava
nagila in disco?

And then turn right around

And do last train to
clarksville acappella?

And he's a friend of yours?

Here, here's
$1.00, if you hurry,

You can catch tony,
the wonder horse.

Acappella, wow!

Did you see the
way he treated me?

I'm an artist, that
means something to me.

He treated me like, like...

Like a lounge singer.

Well, you're not
just a lounge singer.

You're more than that.

You're, uh... A good
lounge singer.

Look, I know what you're
trying to do and thanks.

But let's face it, I could write
the best song in the world

But they'd never
let me play it here.

Don't you get it, I'm a hack.

That's my job, I sold
out for security.

Flyman... I'm not
flyman anymore.

Didn't you hear him, I'm
stewie lyman, lounge singer.

It's all my fault, I'm a snail.

I'm snail slime, I'm...

What's worse than snail slime?

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome back, mr. Stewie lyman.

We're about to find out.

Thank you.

You know, uh, life is
kind of like a windy road.

You, uh... You know, you
suddenly take a wrong turn,

And you end up in a ditch.

Hit your head and
next thing you...

You kind of forget who you are.

Well, you see, that
happened to me.

And, uh, luckily, I had a friend

That had a tow truck
that came along and,

And pulled me out of that ditch.

Well, I'd like to dedicate
this song to her.

And it was written by...

Well, the one and
only, legendary...

The flyman!

♪ Night after night ♪

♪ In my lonely world ♪

♪ I think of the
girl that got away ♪

♪ She brought me up ♪

♪ And then she let me down ♪

♪ Though I'd give her
everything to stay ♪

♪ Eyes of a stranger ♪

♪ Eyes of a stranger ♪

♪ You'll never change her ♪

♪ Eyes of a stranger ♪

Tootie, I'm afraid I'm
not what I appear to be.

You mean, you're not a gigolo?

I'm not even 21, I just needed
to be seen with an older woman.

Well, I understand, I
was young once, too.

There's more.

Yes?

The mustache... It isn't real.

Excuse me, miss!

Would you like to dance?

Look, I have no more
money and my feet hurt.

♪ But she disappeared... ♪

I'm a worm, I'm
grub, I'm grub larva.

Blair, it's all right.

Look, when we get
back to peekskill,

You'll pay us back,
we forgive you.

You forgive me, you really do?

Oh, thank you, jo.

Hey, hey!

You really 100
percent forgive me?

Yes.

Then can I borrow... No!

All right, here's a quarter.

Excuse me, ma'am.

I don't gamble anymore.

♪ Eyes of a stranger ♪

♪ You'll never change her ♪

♪ Eyes of a stranger ♪

That's my money!
That's my money!

♪ Eyes of a strange stranger ♪♪

♪ Eyes of a stranger ♪♪