07x24 - The Apartment

[bunniefuu]

♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪

♪ Then suddenly
you're findin' out ♪

♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ All about you ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪

♪ The facts of life ♪♪

Congratulations, tootie, to you and
all your friends on your graduation!

Hear, hear! Hear, hear!

And now, on to the announcement.

I've rented an
apartment. I'm moving out.

If I'm ever gonna be a writer,
I need to experience life,

The pain, the suffering...

The grit. He was right!

I'm never gonna be an actress

Until I experience life.

And thanks, mom, for
not standing in my way.

I've got an announcement
to make too.

Natalie, I'm moving in with you.

All right, we managed to get
everything in the car except tootie's tv.

Oh, that's all right.
We won't need it.

We won't?

Remember the ground rules.

That's right. Instead
of watching television,

We plan to spend our
evenings reading ouo each other

From a great work of literature.

Unless I'm writing one.

Are you sure you don't want
us to help you with the move?

Thanks, but we can
handle it ourselves.

Now that they're moving out,
they don't need us anymore.

Don't be ridiculous... We just
don't want you to see the place

Until it's all fixed up.

There used to be a time when
we fixed things together.

You really want to help
them replaster a wall?

As I said, there
used to be a time.

Good-bye, table.

Good-bye, chairs.

You saw me come here as a girl,

And now I'm leaving
you as a woman.

I'll miss you.

The couch will
miss you, too, tootie.

Will you visit?

Of course. Will you call?

As often as we can.

Hey, you're still gonna
see us in the shop.

Yeah, nothing's really changed. We
just won't be sharing a bathroom anymore.

The bathroom...

My toothbrush is gonna
miss your toothbrush.

All those the
things I said to you

When I was waiting for you
to get out of the shower,

I didn't mean.

I also left behind
my hot rollers.

I thought maybe
you could use them.

Thanks.

Oh! Oh, and here's the nail
clipper you always used to borrow.

Oh, I couldn't. Oh, no, no!

You go ahead and you take that.

It might bring you good luck.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ok, ok, we're going. Uhh!

Watch your back there.

Bye. Ok, you guys
drive carefully now.

We'll miss you.

If you were an outlet,
where would you be?

Well, I guess
that's the only one.

The only one?

We have one outlet in
the entire apartment?

Tootie, our
apartment is one room.

It means we're gonna have
to simplify our lifestyles,

Do without the
little inconveniences

That might otherwise
clutter up our creative flow.

Yeah, you're right.

Greta garbo didn't
need a hair dryer.

Tootie, why are you putting
up all those pictures?

It's an overview of
my life in the theater...

It's all the roles I've
played since third grade.

From chicken little
to lady macbeth.

That's quite a range.

Oh, our first
knock. I'll get it.

Oh, no, I'll get it.

I want to get it.
I want to get it.

Don't bother.
I'll let myself in.

I'm estelle from the
apartment upstairs,

If you can call it that.

Tootie and natalie, right?

Yeah.

I heard you through the ceiling.

Oh, I wasn't eavesdropping,

But the walls are so thin,

You can hear a bug
burp on the next floor.

You don't have cats, do you?

No.

Too bad. I have five.

I'm always looking for someone
who'll go halfsies on kitty litter.

It's cheaper when
you buy it in bulk.

By the way, the
best place to shop...

Is arnold's market,

But stay away from the
lottery tickets... They're used.

And my favorite
laundromat is fluff 'n wash.

The machines are clean
and they have free tv.

Have you met the super yet?

No. No.

A total sleaze bag.

If you want anything
done, get a lawyer.

So anyway, welcome to club mess.

If you need anything,
just whisper.

And good luck with the careers.

Maybe someday I
can say I knew you.

She's gonna be my first novel.

"Why did you say you kissed
the ground that I walked upon?

"I'm a nobody. They
ought to k*ll me.

I'm an actress.
No. I'm a seagull."

Great. Now she's a bird.

Natalie, I'm doing the
seagull by chekhov.

Do you mind?

If chekhov doesn't, I don't.

"Why did you say you kissed
the ground that I walked upon?

I'm an actress.
No, I'm a seagull."

I'm an actress.
No! I'm a seagull!

I'm an actress!
No! I'm a seagull!

Tootie, I don't mean
to interrupt you,

But would you like to hear
what I've written so far?

"It was a hot and sultry
summer afternoon.

"Frank had too much to
drink the night before.

"When he woke up, he
thought he was an actress.

No, he was a seagull."

That's probably your mother.

My mother? Yours is the
one that keeps calling.

Hello?

It's mrs. Garrett
from wisconsin.

Hey, how you doing, mrs. G?

You girls moved into
your first apartment, huh?

Is it everything you hoped for?

It has tremendous charm.

We wish you could see it.

So do i.

I remember when I
moved into my first place.

The living room was so small,

And the bedroom
was even smaller.

Really? Well, ours
are the same size.

I hope you have
a decent kitchen.

My first place had
an old gas stove,

And they can be very
dangerous, you know?

Well, ours is brand
new and all electric.

Natalie, why don't you
say hello to mrs. Garrett?

Nat's gonna pick
up the extension.

Hi, mrs. Garrett.

Good to hear from you.

I am so excited for you girls,

Getting out on your own.

Yep. We've got
everything under control.

Well, I'm sure you know
how to lock your doors,

Pay your rent on time...

And the best thing for
roaches is boric acid.

I'll talk to you soon.
Miss you. Bye-bye.

Bye.

She knows.

Well, I've got to get
back to my character.

Let's see.

What are you doing?

Actors should always
warm up their instruments

Before they approach a script.

Mwah, mwah, mwah.

That's estelle. She probably
heard your jaw cracking.

Hi! Hi!

Come on in.

So, this is your new home?

I love it.

Is there more?

No.

Well, I think it's charming.

Oh, here. Happy new... Room.

Oh, I love how you
textured the paint.

Very country.

Yes. How divine.

Well, I'm gonna put
these in some water.

Nat, why don't you
give them a tour?

That's it.

Come on, natalie, show
them where everything is.

Ok.

This is... My office.

This is our bedroom.

This is tootie's
rehearsal space.

Well, now, isn't this cute?

Did this come with
the apartment?

My! Yes, it did.

So, what's this in here?

Is it a bathroom?
Oh, don't go in there.

Well, we haven't
k*lled everything yet.

Well, we've still got
some fixing up to do,

But the neighborhood
makes it all worthwhile.

Yeah. I love the guy who's
passed out on the front stoop.

That's frank... His wife
left him, he went bankrupt.

Now he's waiting for a
visit from the planet nardon.

It's her first short story.

Well, I think it's really to be
admired, what you two are doing.

Not many of us would move out
of a large, comfortable house

Into a cheerless hovel
surrounded by deadbeats.

The same to you, lady.

Who was that?

Estelle, the cat lady.

She's natalie's first novel.

Well, you guys probably
have a lot of work to do,

So, come on, blair,
we'd better get goi.

Nice locks you got here.

If I were you, I'd get more.

Hey, listen...

Why don't you come over
for dinner friday night?

You really ought to see
the place by candlelight.

That's what it
needs. More shadow.

Shall we say around eightish?

Eightish, it is.

We are so looking forward to it.

Sounds great.

See you guys later. Bye-bye.

They hate it.

Oh, no. They're just jealous.

They wish they had the
nerve to move oe did.

We're lucky.

We've got dreams to pursue.

Wahh, wahh.

Here we go again
with the fish imitation.

Can you at least face
the other direction?

It's very distracting.

It makes me want
to throw bait at you.

All right, look,
I'll take a break

And you finish writing.

Finish writing?

You don't just finish writing.

This is a novel,
not a baked potato.

It could take years.

Well, you've got 15 minutes.

Tootie, I'll tell you what...
Why don't I take a break

And you finish acting.

Go ahead.

Hey, just because
you've got writer's block

Is no reason to dump on me.

I don't have writer's block.

I have a seagull with a
creaky jaw for a roommate.

Natalie... Oh! You're so tense.

Here, come on. Try this with me.

Breathe deeply, all the
way down to your toes.

Imagine that your nose
is a giant vacuum cleaner.

Not in this apartment.

I think I'd rather stay tense.

Fine. Suit yourself.

I think I'll make
myself some tea.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

You know, we really should
mark these plugs. Mwah, mwah.

I can never tell... Mwah...
Which one belongs to what.

Mwah, mwah, mwah.

Tootie, you just
unplugged my typewriter.

Well, I'm sorry, natalie,
but I need some tea.

My vocal chords are tight.

I don't care about
your vocal chords.

I was on a roll. I got inspired.

Now I'm blocked
again. Thank you.

You know, this is
my apartment, too.

What am I supposed to do?
Stop everything and take a walk?

No, I'll take the walk.

From now on, the apartment's
yours. I'm moving out.

Don't forget your typewriter.

Thank you.

You'll hear from me
after I'm published.

This is my apartment.
My name's on the lease.

I did not ask for a roommate.
You invited yourself.

If anyone should move
out, it should be you!

Fine! There's enough grit in
this town for the two of us.

I'll find my own apartment.

Where? Somewhere around here.

Oh, you're gonna live in
this neighborhood alone?

Isn't that what
you're gonna be doing?

Wait a minute. I see
what you're up to.

You've invited blair and jo
over for dinner friday night

And stuck me with the work.

Pretty clever, ramsey,
but not clever enough.

You're not going
anywhere, got it?

Fine! Fine!

Blair, could we possibly take a break
from the wonderful world of baroque?

I'm losing my count here.

Sure. Would you like to
listen to something else?

How about some springsteen?

How about we play
nothing? Come on.

You've had the stereo
on for three straight.

Well, perhaps I wouldn't feel
the need to play the stereo

If there was more
conversation going on

Between the two people
who share this house.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the fact that
every time we have a meal together,

You have your head
buried in a newspaper.

I like to read while I eat.

You never did when natalie
and tootie were here.

That's because natalie would
always do the crossword puzzle

And tootie would always
look over my shoulder

And lip-read dear abby.

It's just that now
that they're gone,

We walk around like a
couple of strangers.

Why don't we chat anymore?

Ok, blair.

You want to chat?

Let's chat.

The dishwasher's making
that funny noise again.

Oh, huh. Oh, well, I'll
take a look at that.

The mets won another
game last night, 12-6.

Oh. Good for them.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ibm went up three points today.

My broker says it's
a good time to sell.

Oh, great, I'll keep
that in mind, yeah.

I hear it's going to rain.

Oh, the farmers will be
really happy about that.

Oh, speaking of farms, I got a
postcard from mrs. Garrett.

First corn of the season is in.

Any word on the rhubarb?

Nary a word.

I can't believe we're sitting
here, talking about crops.

At least your lips are moving.

Well, I'm gonna
go take a shower.

We should leave soon.

I want to get to
natalie's and tootie's

Before the muggers
wake up from their naps.

Hi, estelle, what
can I do for you?

I wonder if I could
borrow some raid?

A cockroach is holding
one of my cats hostage.

I'm sorry, but
tootie used it all up.

Every time she sees a bug
move, she gets trigger happy.

Yeah, well, we can't
let them get too sassy.

Hey, smells good.
What you cooking?

We're having some
friends over for dinner.

Blair and jo.

I heard it through the ceiling.

Oh, estelle, I'd love
you to stay and chat,

But I have to debone a
chicken... See you later.

If you have any
leftover gizzards,

Throw 'em in the trash, huh?

My cats like to dine
out once in a while.

We'll try and remember that.

I'd invite her to dinner,
but I don't feel like

Spending my whole
evening about fur balls.

I'm gonna spend my whole
evening talking about fur balls.

Oh, hi. Can I help you?

Yeah. I'm lenny, the super.

Well, nice to meet you, lenny.

I'm tootie ramsey,
and this is natalie...

Your water's
being shut off. Why?

Pipes. Pipes what?

That's all they told me. Pipes.

There goes a man with
a great vocabulary,

And a wonderful head of hair.

They're gonna shut
off the water! Quick!

I got to fill the pasta pot!

Well, thanks, guys.
That was delicious.

Next time we invite you
over to our place for dinner,

It'll be at our
place for dinner.

No rush.

You know, the apartment has been
a great learning experience for me.

It's made me understand a line
from chekhov's the seagull...

"But now I know
we've got to learn

To suffer and be patient."

She used that line when
the shower head fell off.

Why don't you go up and see
what we've done wie room?

It looks fabulous.

Ah, you go ahead,
nat. I'll do the dishes.

I don't want to
see our old room.

Why not?

It's from an era gone by.

Tootie, it's been
a week and a half.

I'm a different person now.

It's all that grit.

Come on, nat, I'll give
you the grand tour.

So, how are things
on sawyer street?

I'll be enriched by this
experience the rest of my life.

Does natalie hate it, too?

I like what you've
done with our beds.

I moved 'em while blair
decided where they should go.

The rug is new. 18Th century.

And the lalique bowl on the
coffee table... Don't tell me.

Doesn't blair let you put
anything out that's yours?

Not unless it enhances
the overall motif.

So, how are you and
tootie getting along?

She has a lot of energy.

How's apartment life?

Can't b*at it.

Tootie hate it, too?

Anything I do breaks
natalie's concentration.

Yesterday, she couldn't write

Because I was exercising my jaw.

Mwah, mwah.

Mwah, mwah?

It's a vocal exercise. Do
you know what jo does?

Now that it's just the
two of us in this house,

She wants to save energy.

She follows me around
turning off lights.

Wait till you see this.

She'll be down any minute.

She has radar.

Blair, the bedroom
looks terrific.

It definitely
reflects your taste.

Ah, thank you. Jo's
been very good

About letting me
make suggestions.

She said if I didn't like it, I
could move into the garage.

Hmm, you know, there's something
about this coffee that I like.

Yes, tootie, it's hot
and it doesn't have

Things moving around in the cup.

Oh, did I leave that on?

I am so sorry.

No, you're not.

You're just not
energy conscious.

She won't even give the
appliances the afternoon off.

I don't remember this couch
being this comfortable, do you?

We didn't get a lot
of sleep last night.

Our super held a rock benefit

To raise bail for his mother.

Oh, we don't have a
whole lot of problem

With noise around this house.

Why, you can go for
days, and only sounr

Is the numbers changing
on jo's digital watch.

I think she's asleep.

"I'm an actress, I'm a seagull.

I'm an actress,
I'm a seagull..."

She's delirious.

Why don't the two of you
just spend the e tonight?

We shouldn't. I have to
get up early and write.

Natalie, has the water
been turned back on yet?

You know, I write much
better in the afternoon.

Can I take a shower?

Sure. Come on, I'll
show you the towels

Blair will allow us to use.

You know, this'll be my
first real shower in 10 days?

What's wrong with yours?

Let me put it this way. Last
time I used it, I had to wear shoes.

What you doing?

I got inspired.

Are you finally writing
your great american tragedy?

Yes. It's about a
girl named debby

Who meets a guy named skip,

And they go out on a date.

It's what I know.

Can I ask you something?

Why are we in the apartment?

I mean, I thought that we
were in there for inspiration,

But the only inspiring
thing we've seen so far

Is estelle trying to teach
her cats how to fold laundry.

All I know is that I
write a lot better

When I know there's
a shower in my future.

Hello.

Oh, sorry. Did we wake you up?

Oh, no. I heard conversation.
It sounded wonderful.

Please, somebody talk to me,

Chat with me, argue with me,

Verbally abuse me.
I'll take anything!

Blair, what's wrong?

I'm starved for communication.

Jo won't talk to me anymore.

I think she's bored with me.

Oh, please. I am not.

I tried to explain to her that I'm lousy
at small talk when it's just one-on-one.

I'm much better at g*ng chats.

All right. Go ahead.

Well, we were wondering...

Um, if our water isn't
turned back on tomorrow...

Ah, of course, you
can stay another night.

Another week.

Why take chances? Another year.

You mean you'll let
us have our room back?

Yeah, you'll let us
have our room back?

You want it back? I
thought you wanted grit.

Oh, we've done grit.

We're ready to move
on to the next stage.

Comfort.

I've written more in
the last two hours

Than in the past two
weeks. Listen to this.

"It was the best of times,

"It was the worst of times.

Debby was in love with skip, but
she didn't have a thing to wear."

An artist should always
create from what she knows.

Go on.

"As she furiously went
through her closet,

"A feeling of dread came
over debby as she realized

"She might actually have
to iron an entire outfit.

"In a last desperate effort,

"She ran to her purse in
hopes of finding a receipt

For something she might
have left at the dry cleaners..."

♪♪