[GASPING]
Allison Devine?
Everybody wanted to get out of here.
You at least had a sh*t.
WOMAN: You need to get
Gertrude's death certificate.
I think I know someone
who can help us with this.
This is someone I know at City Hall.
They'll get you whatever you need.
After this, I'm done.
I'm faking my own death.
My dad has a new girlfriend.
[MAN LAUGHS WEIRDLY]
We're going to set up Pete.
I do not want to sleep with Diane.
Excuse me?
Him and Kevin were joking.
- To who?
- To not drinking alone.
[WOMAN YELPS]
Everything's going to be fine.
It's the security footage
from Vermont, right?
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Ugh.
Hello.
- For who?
- Huh?
I-I thought you said "good morning."
[LAUGHING] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
You're too much!
I just came by to
bathe with your father.
You know, two birds, one stone.
What are the birds?
And what is the stone?!
- Ugh.
- Better take this out.
It lets me hear,
but it doesn't mix well
with sudsy Pete water.
Yeah. Wouldn't want it to
zap your brain and k*ll you.
Oh! I know I'd be laughing,
but I can't hear you!
[HEARING AID PLOPS]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
Ah! I didn't say that!
That is so out of context!
And what is that doing in there?
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
- A hit job.
- What?
I'm just reading the article,
which you stole from me!
There's a whole paragraph in here
about your high school swimming career
from like a thousand years ago!
And a picture!
That space could've been
used for my quips, goofs,
and timeless maxims.
Where are my maxims, Allison?!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
"She was poised to have her own legacy
but chose to end her swimming
career after her junior year."
Ooh. Allison didn't finish something.
How is that news?
"You can find her working at
the Defto's package store."
A real blow.
What the hell? I don't
even work there anymore.
I mean for me.
But I have figured out a way
to take back my narrative.
The Worcester Wild Dude
has been put in charge
of the city's Fourth of July
fireworks display this year,
and it seems like
a sure fire-way to bring back
all the deep respect
which I so richly deserve.
I'm gonna reply in a way that
sounds like I'm listening,
but I'm really not.
That's the spirit!
Hey, uh, Neil's coming over later
to help me sync up explosions
with random Aerosmith songs,
so...
Ah. A little waxy.
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[CELLPHONE CLICKS]
WOMAN: The caller you've
reached is unavailable.
Hi. Hi.
Uh, this is, uh, this
is Sam's friend Alli...
Al... ice. Alice.
Uh, he told me that you could
help me out with some documents
from city hall.
Anyway, let me know if
you can meet up tonight.
Okay. Thank you. Bye.
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Hm.
[BIRDS CHIRPING, VEHICLES
PASSING IN DISTANCE]
Oh. Hi.
You didn't tell me you were coming over.
I know.
And you cut your hair.
I had to do something.
It feels like something's off,
and this seemed like a dramatic
gesture or whatever.
The haircut?
No. Coming over.
I've barely heard from
you since my birthday.
I'm sorry. I-I just... I've been busy.
Since when are you too busy?
You once texted me
while arresting someone.
It's just... It's just bad timing.
- I'll call you later.
- No.
No, you won't.
Is there something, like, goin' on?
Yeah.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
I've been trying to figure out
how to talk to you about this.
I just never figured it out.
So I didn't talk at all.
Okay. Can you...
I'm just gonna say it.
Okay.
And think abot how you want this to go
before you respond.
Tammy, just say...
Do you want to move in with me?
I just like having you around.
That's all.
Actually... you might be
the best thing in my life,
and I want to spend
all my time with you.
I think it could be
really good for both of us.
Okay. You can respond at some point.
Uh...
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Well, um...
I'll call you later.
DR. GAETZ: I heard you and
Chuck patched things up.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Patched like a Band-Aid
on a b*llet hole.
Good for you. No one
stays together anymore.
You bet.
I know that thing with Tanya seemed bad,
but... you know, I love my Miller Lite.
But that doesn't mean I'm
not gonna sip from some Sam
- if there's an open bar.
- Buddy, there's a line.
I am talking to...
Yeah. Excuse me.
Uh, tell Chuck, um,
he still owes me for
his bowling dues, okay?
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[DOOR OPENS, BELL CHIMES]
Thank you.
Guy's been my doctor since I was .
Even then, I knew he was a d*ck.
[REGISTER BEEPING, CLICKING]
Six-pack's $ . .
That's two dollars cheaper than usual.
I, um, I used my
employee discount for you.
Just this once. Don't get used to it.
Well, sh*t.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Go out on the town and see
what's happening all around ♪
Hi.
Wow.
Yeah. Well, not the worst
answer I was expecting.
Well, I think it's
generous, considering.
Y-Yeah. No. I agree.
But you just kind of
walked away the other night.
You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?
I'm not gonna tell anyone.
I'm not sure anyone
would believe me anyways.
Thank you.
And thank you for putting me
in touch with the city hall guy.
I, uh, left him a message.
He texted me, and he's gonna
get me what I need tonight.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I just need to find
$ somewhere, but...
No.
No what?
I'm not giving you the money.
I didn't ask for it.
- [LAUGHING] Okay.
- No. I didn't.
No, but you said it in
that way you always do,
where I know what you need,
so I just give it to you.
Okay, but that's not
what I'm getting at.
That's just what you do.
Yeah, and maybe that stuff was worth it
when I thought we might
actually be together.
Wow.
[MUSIC STOPS]
Uh... huh.
Everything okay?
Hmm?
You look lost.
Oh. Uh... Um, no.
I just...
Um... would it be cool
if I kind of hung out
and drank one of these here?
[DRAWER CLOSES]
Technically that's illegal.
Right. Yeah. S-Stupid.
But I do it all the time.
Knock yourself out.
Thanks.
Hey, um... would you want one?
[CHUCKLES] Um...
What...
What'd you do?
I didn't do... I just grabbed
a beer. I didn't do anything.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
[CELLPHONE CHIMES]
Patty will be here soon,
so I'll be out of your hair.
It's fine.
You're still gonna
meet up with this guy?
Yeah.
Why? Is he scary?
I don't know. I only texted with him.
I got his number from
one of Jenn's uncles.
I sent him money.
He made my liquor license happen.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
Mm.
You know, Allison... you
don't have to do this.
Yeah, I know Kevin's a clown, but...
I'm not doing this 'cause
my husband's a clown.
You can get out of here. I know
how to lock up on my own.
I already sent Maggie and Jesse home.
But, um, I'm gonna stick around,
just in case anyone wanders in
and needs a place to wait
for the power to come back on.
What kind of idiot wanders into
a dark restaurant in a blackout?
♪ Who let the dogs in?! ♪
- ♪ Who, who, who, who, who! ♪
- [STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Why, why, why?
Well, I tracked your phone location,
and I realized that this empty diner
is the perfect spot to spend a blackout.
Infinite food, ample seating.
And Lorraine to throw to the
angry hordes as a sacrifice.
What?
It's one of Kevin's less funny bits!
Lorraine lost her hearing aid,
so today's been a bit of a struggle.
She did? 'Cause I found...
Oh, no, no, no. No... No time.
Uh, we've got to get this dump
turned into a luxury shelter ASAP!
Sammy, you got any screws
to hang a projector screen?
I'm looking to fire up
my "Blue Bloods" DVDs.
There's no electricity, Kevin.
Uh, correction, Sam.
They have no electricity
the rest of Worcester...
Because they don't
have Kevin's generator.
We, on the other hand...
- You have a generator.
- Yeah.
Well, it doesn't seem like it,
but Kevin is prepared for any disaster.
Otherwise, he'd die first.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Oh. What are you doing here?
Allison told me to come.
She didn't say there'd
be other people here,
even though she knows
I hate other people.
Everyone, it is time to
revel in our electricity
and superiority.
All right. Now, where do you put
the batteries in this bad larry?
[SIGHS] Oh, no.
The what?
Yeah. What?
I took all the -volts
out of our smoke
detectors for this thing.
It doesn't take batteries. It takes gas.
Like that riding mower you got
that chopped Neil's toe off.
I apologized for that, Patty.
Yeah... You said "Que sera"
and threw his toe in my yard somewhere.
Please tell me you found it.
- Uh... yeah.
- [STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Patty, let's go find some fuel.
Allison, be reasonable! It's a blackout!
I can't send two helpless women
out into the post apocalyptic
wild to die
because I made the
first mistake of my life.
Kevin, your father's a priest,
and your mother's a nun.
Think about it.
Your whole life was based on a mistake.
[LAUGHS]
Oh... All right. I...
Go look for gas, then!
Okay.
- You're leaving me?
- Yeah.
It'll be a blast. Kevin's a real clown.
It's true.
Even my tears are funny.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
What are you doing?
Volunteering to help Kevin?
No, I'm not.
I'm getting the death certificate.
Tonight.
- Gertrude's.
- Wait. How?
Sam got me the number of
this shady guy at city hall,
and he texted me back
saying that for bucks,
he could get me the paper.
So... we should go.
Okay.
W... Really?
Yeah. Let's do it.
I-I thought you were gonna say
that we should wait for the
electricity to come back on
or for you to find a Valium.
Ah. I don't think it'll
be any less sketchy
if we wait till the lights are on.
Besides, I got to do something
instead of sitting at home
in the dark, stuck in my head.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Nothing. Let's go.
Oh, sh**t.
I forgot to steal money from Kevin.
I don't have any cash on me.
We'll stop at the salon.
It's right there.
Okay.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Nice haircut, by the way.
Thank you.
[GRUNTS] Sammy, my man.
I'm gonna make some popcorn as
soon as we get this genny going.
Question for you...
Do you have any butter,
hopefully of the tub quantity?
Yeah. In back.
- Great!
- But... No! Don't go in there!
Don't stand between a
man and his butter, Sam!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Sammy... are you living here?
No.
Oh, Sam, the mattress is imprinted
with the outline of your ripped bod.
Thank you.
But yeah, I've slept
here a little bit lately.
Stuff at home. Just a rough patch.
Sammy, if you were having
relationship issues,
you should have come to me.
I'm Mr. Marriage. Just ask my wife.
I would, but you tossed
her into a high-crime area
during a blackout.
Okay. I'll do it.
Do what?
I'll take you on and save your marriage.
I'm gonna give you a
true storybook ending,
just like "Romeo and Juliet."
That story doesn't end
the way you think it does.
You correct your wife like that?
[CHUCKLES]
Yes.
And that's lesson number one.
That's not necessary, really.
Um, I'd actually appreciate it
if you kept this to yourself.
Forget you saw anything.
Yeah. Loud and clear.
[IMITATES ZIPPER CLOSING]
[POPS LIPS, CLICKS TONGUE]
Whoa-ho! Whoa!
That was a very interesting sex story
you just told me in there, Sam!
And the fact that it
happened just last night
with your very own wife?
Whoo! That makes it even sexier.
[CHUCKLES]
Wait. Something is... off.
All the lights, son.
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Where's my generator?!
It was right here.
I know where it was, Neil!
Where is it now?
Well, it couldn't have
just walked out of here.
Uh, Sam... [CHUCKLES]
Marriage lesson number two...
Don't say stuff that's
insultingly obvious.
Now... if Sam's very astute
observation is correct
and it didn't just walk
out of here on its own,
then that means that...
one of you stole it.
- Not me.
- What are you talking about?
What?!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[HINGES SQUEAKING, KEYS JINGLING]
It's dark in here.
Well, it's a blackout.
Okay. You said you needed $ ?
Uh, just $ .
Thank you for being honest.
Here.
This is easier than
breaking into Cindy's.
It's nice to have a door.
Well, Allison, we're not breaking in.
I own the salon.
The illegal sh*t happens next.
Hey, someone's just
handing us a piece of paper.
We're not knocking over a
liquor store, so don't worry.
Okay. Okay. Here... $ .
- Do you not believe me?
- Sorry.
I've had some trust issues with money
on account of, you know, my marriage.
I'm glad to hear it, actually.
Okay. Now for the illegal sh*t.
- Okay.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
MAN: Police. Open up.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Should I worry now?
Hey, Patty!
Sorry. Didn't know it was you.
Cops don't wave. Why are they waving?
They were at a party
at your house last week.
Oh, God. They're gonna
tell Tammy they saw us.
- Is that bad?
- Well...
Unlock the door!
Well, it's very obvious that
we're talking about them,
so why don't you go...
Go answer the door?
Door.
[SIREN WAILING, LATCH CLICKS]
[BELL CHIMES]
Hey, Patty.
- H-Hi.
- Hi, Officers.
So nice to see you again.
Right back at youse.
We spotted the flashlight,
thought it was looters, you know?
PARKER: What were you two doing here?
- Well, this is my salon, and...
- Uh-huh.
Yes. And we were just
getting, uh, Patty's purse...
- Yes. Thank you...
- And, uh, we were gonna leave.
We can give you a ride to the house.
Earn us a few extra points
with one Ms. Ridgeway.
Uh... We're, uh...
We're just... We're going
to our friend's house.
Gonna just kind of hunker down there.
- Shelter in place.
- Shelter in place.
- PATTY: Yeah.
- On foot?
- Uh-huh.
- Yes. Yep.
'Cause she does live quite close by.
Great. Then we can drive you.
No.
We just don't want to disturb
you while you're on duty.
Ladies, stop trying to act so brave.
Let us give you a ride
to the g*dd*mn house.
In no time at all, I've transformed
Sam's depressing office apartment
into a makeshift... interview room!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Sam lives here?
[CHUCKLES] Totally.
Pretty hot goss, huh?
Come on, man. You told people?
No. No, no, no. No, no.
But it'd be some pretty hot goss, right?
Look, I obviously know it wasn't you,
but I know you're protecting Diane.
Why would I protect
Diane? Diane hates me.
You're clearly protecting Pete.
Why would I protect Pete? I hate Pete.
You shouldn't have
accepted that doughnut.
- Now I've got your prints.
- Prints for what?
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
You claim to have seen nothing,
but did you hear anything?
What?
A generator thief says what?
"A generator thief says what?"
A generator thief says what?
Huh?
A generator thief says what?
Sorry. I can't hear you.
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
[VEHICLES PASSING,
INDISTINCT TALKING ON RADIO]
MORENO: Tammy's a changed woman
since you came around, Pat.
Always swore she'd never date
another neighborhood gal...
Or a smoker.
Yeah. You got her break all the rules.
Yeah, and I swore I'd
never talk to a cop
without a lawyer
present, but here we are.
[LAUGHS]
Hey, we should all give
her a call together.
Yeah, I think... I think she
would get a kick out of that.
No.
Thank you.
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Jesus, it's hot.
You look like Diane getting a hot flash.
You okay?
Patty? Stop being so weird.
Just act normal.
We're... We're in a
car with your friends.
You think we could roll the window down?
In February?
[WEAKLY] Yeah.
Uh, she's... she... She gets carsick.
She's... She's getting carsick.
[GROANS SOFTLY]
PARKER: Lovely article this morning.
What?
The profile in the paper?
I didn't know Kevin's
wife was such a phenom.
Or that you worked at Defto's.
[GROANING]
Uh, there's our friend's
house, just on the corner.
We can get out here.
- Yeah.
- What? It's... That's half a block.
No, we'll take you all the way there.
No, that's okay. Thank you.
Thank you.
Go. Thank you.
- Oh...
- Go.
♪♪
Allison, you got to get
me out of this thing.
Oh. My seat belt's stuck. Hold on.
I don't care about the seat belt.
I'm gonna throw up.
Stop. Get out of the car.
- Out of the car.
- Okay. Okay.
Bye. Thank you.
Quickly.
Bye.
Have a good one.
- You too.
- Yeah.
What is wrong with you?
I got hot.
You freaked out.
I know. [EXHALES DEEPLY]
But who is this guy? You know?
He's willing to break
the law for bucks.
And Tammy knows those guys.
Is something going on with you two?
Kind of. [EXHALES DEEPLY]
Let's just get the cops to leave.
Yeah. Thank you. The house is here.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
MORENO: You're welcome, ladies!
Why aren't they leaving?
Because God hates me.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Well, whoever this guy is,
I hope he at least looks respectable.
[METAL SQUEAKS]
Over here.
Ow.
[HINGES SQUEAKING]
Oh. I am so sorry.
I think we must have the wrong house.
Oh, you must be Alice.
Yes.
That's her.
So glad you made it.
Uh, quick question, dear,
before you come in...
What are those g*dd*mn pigs
doing parked on my street?
Huh?
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Yeah, years of my life I
gave to those city hall pricks.
My best years. [CHUCKLES]
But I believed in civic duty!
And back then, you
think it was some picnic
being the only woman at that place?
- Unh-unh.
- No. No.
Yeah. That's right.
Geez. Oh, then I get
"let go"... by e-mail!
So, uh, yeah, I guess civic
duty is a one-way street.
Could have taken that place down, too.
The stuff I saw.
Mm. [EXHALES DEEPLY] Yeah.
Well, I am... I am so
sorry that happened to you.
Yeah, so now whenever I get a call
from someone looking
for a liquor license
or some mousy delinquent
and her goth friend
looking for a death certificate,
I'm like, "Hey, show me the money!"
- Goth?
- Thank you.
- I changed my hair.
- Bingo!
Here it is.
Okay. [GRUNTS] Oh, boy.
Slow.
What is this?
Keys.
Uh, no. I-I know.
I know they're keys, but why...
Where's the death certificate?
Oh, the records room
is on the third floor,
through the clerk's office.
And here.
Take these flashlights. And good luck.
Good luck?
Yeah. Power's out.
No one's there. [CHUCKLES]
- This is kismet.
- What does that mean?
And I cannot vouch for the
condition for the place,
'cause after I left, they hired
someone's delinquent nephew
to take over, so...
So you want us to break into city hall?
I'm not doing it.
Right.
Right.
Thank you.
Are we really gonna break
into a government building?
You heard her. She said
it's the perfect time.
Shouldn't we stop and talk about this?
Where's that ever gotten us?
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
Sam, let's get down to brass tacks.
Why am I a suspect?
I was in here with you when
the generator was stolen.
You're not a suspect.
This is time for us to work
on marriage lesson number .
Can I be a suspect instead?
Now, Sam, what do you
know about funniness?
- What?
- Geez.
You sound like Lorraine ever
since I stole her hearing aid.
You did? That's awful.
No, no, Sam. That is funny.
And funniness is my greatest strength.
Well, that and my muscles...
And everything else, including my brain.
So you think I need to be funny
to get my wife to like me again?
Oh, absolutely not.
You're too hot to have a sense of humor.
Me, on the other hand, I am the
rare exception that has both.
You need to find your
thing and use it...
You know, your strength
that makes you so lovable,
you can get away with whatever you want.
I don't have that.
Come on! Don't sell yourself short.
Play up that, uh, sensitive
thing you got going.
You know, tell her... Tell
her that you're broken.
Tell her that you guys
can fix each other.
Tell her you're in AA.
I'm in AA.
Score!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
- Hey, here we go.
- Yep, yep.
We're doing this.
We're doing this?
Well, we got the keys. The power's out.
- It's kismet, right?
- I guess.
I'm still not sure.
It'll be easy.
It makes me so nervous when you do that.
Do what?
Think things are easy when they're not.
It'd just make me feel
better if you'd admit
this might not be the best idea.
Well, that just feels
like negative thinking.
- [LATCH CLICKS]
- Ah!
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
[HINGES SQUEAKING]
Wait!
An alarm needs electricity.
This thing's dead.
It's city hall.
They probably have some
crazy advanced backup system
- for stuff like this.
- Patty, this is Worcester City Hall.
- Look at this thing.
- Don't...
[CLANGING, CLATTERING]
See? Easy.
- Simple.
- Mm.
Well, after some amateur detective work
that I'm sure even
Scruff McGruff himself
would be proud of,
I've correctly deduced who the thief if.
All right. Which one of
these losers was it, Kev?
Well, Neil, I'd say it's
the biggest loser of all.
- Because you stole the generator!
- [STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
And you've lost weight
recently. Congrats.
What? You can't be serious.
I'm as serious as Dad's coronary event,
which they're now
classifying as "inevitable."
What?
I have nothing to leave you.
You've been sabotaging me all day.
You bailed on fireworks practice,
which is why I sh*t 'em too low,
which is how I blew up
that giant electrical
transformer this afternoon.
Wait. So it's your
fault the power is out?
No. It's Neil's fault!
Gosh. Weren't you listening?
No. I was listening.
You really believe, after
everything we've been through,
I'd steal from you?
Not only do I believe
it, I know it to be true!
In fact, this case is
wide open and slammed shut.
Just like the car door,
which I caught Dad's
hand in earlier today.
Did I apologize for that yet?
You said "Que sera."
I don't even know what it means.
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
Hey. Are you okay?
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
Whoa.
Yeah. It's very... official.
You ever been here before?
Whenever Neil has his court dates.
Wow.
So weird that Worcester
City Hall is so nice
and the rest of the town's... Worcester.
It's not all bad.
[HINGES SQUEAKING]
- Oh.
- How you feeling?
Like maybe I should've kept
things off my mind tonight
by reading a nice book.
My friend Judi gave me
"The Secret Life of Bees."
- Okay.
- Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Pull!
[HINGES SQUEAKING]
You did it.
Oh.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
I hate it when I'm right.
I'm not finding it.
Well, it's got to be in here.
We had a small change of plans,
but sometimes you just
got to roll with it, right?
Well, we didn't have a plan.
- Don't you think...
- No, no. No.
Because when I think
too much about something,
that's the second I start
talking myself out of it, okay?
That's not true.
Well, maybe not for
you, but it is for me.
You've known me for years.
Have I ever done anything?
- You...
- No.
I can't even blame Kevin for
it, 'cause it's always been true.
I make excuses, and I bail,
and I make excuses, and I bail,
and, "Allison, you just
always make excuses and bail!"
Jesus.
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
I'm sorry.
Ah.
I just need to find this thing tonight,
and I can't let a little trespassing
or some shitty nephew
who can't alphabetize
- create any more excuses.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Okay, but you must know...
- [GASPS]
What?
- Gertrude Fronch.
- [SNORTS]
It is a terrible name, but I found it.
Ha!
[DOOR CLOSES]
Hang on. Wait.
W... Really?
You don't actually believe any of that?
That's bullshit.
You are not some hopeless screw-up.
- Okay.
- No.
Don't do that.
I'm here.
I've been here, standing next to you.
If you're some loser
who can't do anything,
I follow your lead...
what does that make me?
[THUD, ALARM BLARING]
I guess you are right sometimes.
[ALARM BLARING]
What?
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHI]
Kevin, you caused a
citywide power outage,
raided my diner,
and basically held
everyone in here hostage.
I think you owe us an apology.
Yeah. We're... upset.
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
And you should say you're... sorry?
Apologies are like tears.
Everyone has to let them out
unless they're a real man.
Dad, you taught me that!
I-I never said that.
What?
How come I can't get
through to you today?
Because Kevin stole her hearing aid.
- What?!
- What?!
Okay. Hold on.
In my defense... it
has been pretty funny.
And did you do this
before or after you caused
a citywide emergency where
hearing would be crucial?
Oh, way before.
You have to take responsibility
for something, Kevin.
Anything.
Oh, Neil, I'm so glad that you're back
from your little... crying thing.
Will you please remind these fine people
of some of my good qualities?
I got nothing.
See, Neil kn...
Wait. What?
I guess you're pretty
good at accusing people
of stealing your dumb generator.
Yeah. And causing blackouts.
Yeah. I'm starting to think that
maybe I should cause a blackout.
k*ll him!
What?
Uh, I... Hit him!
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
The lights... They're back on!
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Hey, look!
[CHUCKLES] Well, will you look at that?
Everyone was all mad at me,
and the generator wasn't even missing!
It was right here, under this table!
Oh, I bet you all feel real stupid now.
But how did it get over there?
It's on wheels, D. It
must have just rolled.
Sam, you're probably gonna
want to level out this floor.
That's a real hazard.
You're a hazard.
Ha! That's the spirit.
All right, g*ng.
What do you say we have
some more laughs about this
over a few dozen beers, yeah?
You go ahead.
I'll catch up as soon
as I level out my floor.
Don't worry, hon. We'll
get you a new hearing aid.
What?
It's a good thing you're so good at sex.
[CHUCKLES] Damn right I am.
[STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
Blackouts do that.
Blackouts do that.
People go nuts.
People do.
That explains all that stuff... outside.
Probably related to the
whole blackout thing.
- Huh. Yeah. Totally.
- Sure.
Yeah. I mean, it has
to be a blackout thing.
Chuck still has his sawed-off, so...
Right. Of course.
So...
You hid the generator, right?
What?
Come on.
Pete would never.
I don't even think Lorraine
knew there was a generator.
And I didn't do it, so...
♪ I found you... ♪
Are you smarter than Kevin?
Not if you ask Kevin.
Huh.
Yeah. Okay. I did.
Think of it as payback on Kevin
for trying to set me up with Pete.
Hmm.
♪ You know that's true ♪
So, what are you gonna do, rat on me?
♪ I found my someone... ♪
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go to Dunkin'.
You want anything?
Sure, if you wouldn't mind.
Light and extra sweet.
Oh. Oh, n...
No, I'm not gonna, like, get it for you.
I was asking if you want to come.
♪ Lonely days have passed ♪
Whatever.
Fine.
Fine.
♪ I'm glad I found you ♪
♪ At last ♪
It's weird wanting something
so bad and finally getting it.
It's new.
Yeah.
[DOG BARKING, HORN BLOWING IN DISTANCE]
I'm moving in with Tammy.
You are?
Yeah. She'd been acting
really weird recently.
So I went over there thinking
she was gonna break up with me,
but she just asked me to move in.
And you said yes?
No.
But I'm gonna.
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
You won't live here anymore.
Neither will you.
Hey.
I'm happy for you.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Good night, Gertrude.
Night, Patty.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
Hello?
Hey. Thanks for coming by.
Hey.
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Tonight was terrible.
I was so annoyed with Kevin.
No, not annoyed. I was, uh, disgusted.
Yeah. Yeah.
He kept giving me
terrible marriage advice.
Like... awful things.
But I-I think...
I think I do a lot of it, and...
I don't know that I'm actually
that much better than him.
[CLEARS THROAT]
You should have your job back.
It was wrong, the way I fired you.
I made it about me, and...
and... I'm really sorry.
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
I do want to help you.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Um, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
- No. I'm... I am so sorry.
- It's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
[SOBS]
Oh. Oh.
Okay.
[SOBBING]
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.
So you're still mulling
how you're going to
fake your own death?
Like I said, I haven't...
figured it out yet.
Allie, you're stalling.
You haven't packed yet?
I shouldn't read into this, right?
Absolutely not.
Oh...
[LAUGHING]
This is the last thing I need to do.
The last thing.
- One...
- Uh-huh.
Two...
- MAN: Allison.
- Yeah?