06x26 - Sign of the Times

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

(no voice)

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪



Here we go!

Flapjacks a la PBS!

What makes them
"flapjacks a la PBS," Dad?

Well...

I don't really know.

I guess it's because
they're good and good for you.

They're a nutritious start
to a nonprofit day.

MALLORY:
Alex, you know,

it's not polite
to type at the table.

Okay, Mal.

Let me use the top of your head.

I need a flat surface.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm helping out
my younger brother.

See, they're having
class elections

in Andy's kindergarten,

so I am typing up
a résumé for him

that will assure success.

"In , Andrew Keaton served

"as director
of nutritional unit disbursement

in preschool."

What is that?

Milk monitor, Dad.

Hey, everybody, guess who

is "Buddy for the Day"
in kindergarten.

Congratulations, Mom.

No, not me.
No, it's Andy.

See, whenever a new child comes
to the school, the teacher picks

one of the most responsible kids
in the class, and that child

gets to show the other child
around school for the day.

It sounds like orientation
at Grant College.

- (Steven chuckles)
- Hey, congratulations.

Buddy for the Day.

This is gonna go
right into your résumé.

When was Andy ambassador
to the United Nations?

It's too much? Too...

You're really not
kidding anyone, Alex.

He is in kindergarten.

Oh, yeah?
Last week I was offered

chairman of the board
of Occidental Petroleum.

Would've taken it, too.

He had to go to Mitsy Lepman's
birthday party.

SKIPPY:
Good morning, everybody!

- Hey, hi, Skippy.
- All right there, Andy,

ready to go to school?

Oh, he's in an exchange program
with Grant College?

No, your parents asked me
to take Andy to school today.

No, Skippy, I asked you
to pick up Andy

after school this afternoon.

Alex is taking him this morning.

We really appreciate
you doing this, Skip.

Oh, don't mention it,
Mr. Keaton.

In many ways, I consider myself
part of this family.

Except of course,
I don't look like any of you.

And I live in a different house.

And I have
a different last name.

And a different first name.

That's nice, Skip.

In many ways, we consider you
part of this family, too.

Don't we?

Pass the toast, Dad?

Oh, wow,
does this bring back memories.

Andy, my first day
of kindergarten...

I cried.

Were you scared, Alex?

No, no, I just found out
they weren't gonna pay us.

(laughs)

I remember I had
my first crush when I was six.

Marjorie Hansen.

I used to write her notes
all the time.

One day, the, uh,
the teacher stood up there,

and read my note
to the whole class.

What did you say?

"Roses are red,
violets are blue.

I'm into pork bellies,
should I buy some for you?"

Oh, good morning, Andy.

Hello, Alex.

BOTH:
Good morning, Mrs. Metcalf.

Good morning, boys,
and it's Miss Metcalf.

Why haven't you got married yet?

Well, Andy, um...

Actually I was married,
but it didn't work out.

Sometimes I would come home
and he'd be...

Well, that's a different story.

No, no, go on.

Oh, Andy, um, why don't
you join the group?

We're just about ready
to get started.

But what happened
to your husband?

I will tell the whole class
at story time. Okay?

(Alex chuckles)

I'm not gonna be able to make it
to story time, so...

Alex, how have you been?

Oh, well, I can't complain.

Straight A's, dean's list...
I'm a senior over at Leland.

Oh, good...
we're very proud of you.

Well, thanks.

Uh, Miss Metcalf, uh...

any... any word on
that grade change yet?

Alex... (laughs)

I'm keenly aware
of your campaign to have

that grade changed, but, uh,
it's been over years

and your teacher at the time...

Mrs. Wills... has d*ed.

Yeah, well, she'd do anything to
keep from changing that grade.

Look, Miss Metcalf, I tied
my shoes correctly that day.

I mean, she was just steamed
because I brought

my television set to watch
the Watergate hearings.

Alex,

it's too late...
there is nothing I can do.

All right, okay,
hey, fine, fine.

I don't get into
a good graduate program,

I'm suing this school.

- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, excuse me.

Good morning, hi.

Good morning, Josh,
and welcome to the class.

(quietly): Are you my teacher?

Yes!

I'm your teacher.

Andy, sweetheart, you want
to come here for a second?

Andy, I'd like you
to meet Mrs. Richards.

Hi, Andy, nice to meet you.

Hi, nice to meet you.

And this is Josh.

Now, Andy, Josh can't hear.

But he speaks

by signing.

It's called sign language.

See, right now, he said that
he's very happy to meet you.

I would like to say,
"I'm very happy to meet him,"

but how can I if he can't hear?

MRS. RICHARDS:
Well,

he can't... he can't hear you.

But he can read your lips
a little bit.

So, you can talk to him.

(slowly): Josh, I'm very glad

to meet you.

Is that okay?

MISS METCALF: See?

He's signing, "Yes."

Okay, now, Andy, you're gonna be
Josh's buddy for the day.

Would you like to see

our goldfish?

Oh, wait. Bye.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.

Well, I can see
he's in good hands.

Oh, Andy's a very sweet kid.

I think they're gonna be
good friends.

- I've got to go to work.
- Okay.

- Thanks a lot, bye.
- Bye-bye.

Hi, Andy.

Hi, Eugene. This is Josh.

What's he doing?

He talks with his hands.

He can't hear.

What do you mean he can't hear?

Let's see if he can hear this.

(louder): Hey, kid!

Get out of the way!

I want to see the fish!

Yeah, me, too. Move it!

(laughing)

You guys stop it!

Don't do that to him!

All right, all right, all right,
children, come on.

Let's go sit back down.

Let's get back to work.

Don't feel bad.

It's okay, Skippy,
everybody gets lost.

Yeah, well, so we went
a little out of our way.

It was nice driving around
Columbus, wasn't it?

Cincinnati was very nice, too.

Yes, it was.

And best of all, it gave me a
chance to learn sign language.

My name? Okay,

S...

K...

I...

P... P...

- Y.
- Y.

Two Ps... are you sure?

No wonder I never get any mail.

Josh, you want to color?

Oh, you know what's funny?

When I was a kid,
there were certain things

I didn't do very well.

Uh, coloring...

sports, math,

spelling, gargling.

But as you get older
it doesn't matter as much.

There's so many
new things I can't do.

Do you like this?

Cat.

I had a cat once.

His name was, uh, Skippy.

And sometimes when my mother
would call me to dinner,

he would get there first.

So I would get
his Tender Vittles.

When Eugene and the other kids

made fun of you today,
were you sad?

I would never make fun of you.

- What happened?
- Eugene

and the other kids
made fun of him today.

Oh, that's not nice.

Believe me, I know what
it's like to be teased.

Josh, are you sad

because you can't hear?

No.

Then I guess
I shouldn't be sad either.

(knock on door)

Ah, I'll get it.

Hi, are you Skippy?

- Yeah.
- Yes, I'm Josh's mom.

- Oh, um...
- Nice to meet you.

Hey.

Hi. Did you have fun today?

Yes.

What did you do?

Andy, Josh says you were
a great buddy for the day.

Thank you.

Welcome.

Uh, Skippy, Josh says the next
time you pick him up,

he wants to go to Michigan...
what does that mean?

He's just kidding... we weren't
that close to Michigan.

Um, we were closer to Florida.

Hey.

Tell Andy you'll see
him tomorrow.

Bye.

Yeah, we're going,
going home, come on.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Skippy, friends are supposed
to share, right?

Right.

So if my friend has a problem,

it's my problem, too, right?

Right, especially
if it's a good friend.

Now I know what to do.

Of course, you might want
to check these answers

with someone who's
actually had friends.

Hey, guys.

- Hi.
- Hey, how did it go, Skip?

Any trouble
picking up Andy at school?

Well, uh, the picking up part
went fairly smoothly,

but then on the way home,
we saw a little bit more

of the Midwest
than we had planned.

Andy, I see you had
your milk and cookies?

Yeah, yeah, he sure did.

And, uh, that reminds me...
you're low on milk.

Chocolate syrup,
peanut butter and jelly.

Well, I'll try to restock
before your next visit.

Thanks. It means a lot to me.

- All right.
- Bye.

So, Andy, what would
you rather have for dinner...

pizza or your mother's special
tofu-plankton nut loaf?

It's pizza, honey.

So, how was school today, Andy?

You okay? Something wrong?

Are you okay, buddy?

What's up?

- I got pizza.
- Oh.

I got pizza with pepperoni,
sausage and anchovies.

And for dessert, I've got pizza

with Alka-Seltzer.

Didn't you forget something?

Oh, no, no, Mom.
Got it right here.

Your health pizza...
no cheese, extra seaweed.

Ah. Mmm.

Alex, I gave you $ .

Might there not be some change
forthcoming?

Well, Dad, there was gas.

It was my gas.

It was my car.

All right, okay, well,
th-there was my delivery fee.

There was my, uh... my
hanging out in the pizzeria fee.

And, uh, and then, then,
of course, there was my tip.

So, actually, Dad,
the way I figure it,

you owe me $ . .

Have you got any change, Elyse?

Yeah. Mom?

- I'll go call Andy for dinner.
- ELYSE: Oh.

Wait a minute, honey. We want
to talk to you about something.

What did we do?

- Oh, no, it's not you guys.
- No.

Something has really
been bothering Andy lately.

I know what it is.

What is it?

Gold.

Dropped $
on the London market today.

Well, maybe that's part of it.

Oh.

There's got
to be something else.

Egg futures.
They're down, too.

There must be something else.

It's not like Andy.
Something is wrong.

Yeah, all we know is that
he went to school this morning,

and then
Skippy brought him home.

Oh, well, Mom,
that's it right there.

He spent time with Skippy.

I mean, after that,
it-it takes three, four hours

before the power
of speech returns.

I'll give Skippy a call.
Maybe he knows something.

Yeah, I'll call him anyway.

Andy just hasn't been himself.

He wouldn't talk to us,

and then he just went upstairs
to his room and went to sleep.

I know what it is.

It's the...
it's a rumor going around

that if a Democrat gets
into office,

interest rates are going
to skyrocket.

You'd make a fine
child psychologist, Alex.

STEVEN:
Hello.

Skippy, it's Mr. Keaton.

Uh...

Yes, from across the street.

Uh...

Your neighbor.

Would you mind coming over here
for a moment?

Fine. Good-bye.

Andy, look what we've got here.
Pizza, your favorite.

What kind do you want? You want
sausage, or you want mushroom?

JENNIFER:
I bet

I can get him to say, "no."

Andy, how would you like
some alfalfa sprouts

and gluten on your pizza?

He's definitely not talking.

All right, all right, all right.

Don't panic. Don't panic.
Don't panic, okay? Watch.

Andy...

who's your favorite brother?

Definitely a problem here.
I don't know.

Oh, I got it. I got it.
I got it.

♪ Ring! Ring! ♪

The phone!

Oh.

♪ Ring. Ring. ♪

Oh. Hello.

Oh, just a minute.

Andy, it's for you.

But, Andy,
there's a call for you.

I'll take it.

No. It's not for you.

I'll take it anyway.

Hello.

No, I'm sorry.
This is her brother.

Yes, yes, we'll keep her here

until you arrive with the net
and the tranquilizer g*n.

- MALLORY: Oh, look.
- ELYSE: Oh, Skippy!

Look, when you brought Andy
home today,

did anything happen
that might have upset him?

I don't think so.
Uh, let's see.

Uh, when I met him at school,
he was busy on the jungle gym,

so I played with the blocks
for a while.

If this yields
any useful information,

I'm transferring
to Grant College.

Skippy, what happened
after you left kindergarten?

I went to the first grade.

He means today, Skippy.

Let's see. When-when we came
home, uh, Andy and Josh...

Josh? Who is Josh?

That's Andy's friend.

His buddy for the day.

And they came home together?

Yeah.

We had milk and cookies
and colored and, uh,

Andy drew a cat

while Josh drew a goldfish.

Skippy, work with me on this.

What the heck are you doing
with your hands?

It's sign language.

Josh taught me. He's Deaf.

(clears throat)

SKIPPY:
Oh...

Didn't I mention that?

No.

Then, I, uh, I probably
also didn't mention

that some of the kids in Andy's
class, they were teasing Josh.

Was Andy involved?

Yeah, he stood up for Josh.

He seemed really upset about it.

Is-is there any more
to the story?

Is there anything else
you want to say?

Yeah.

Is this pizza for everybody?

Now this is the sign for want.

I want... a car.

I want ice cream.

Yes? Okay.

So if you want Josh

to pass something to you,

this is the sign that you use.

Does anyone have a special word

that they'd like to know?

Uh... Louise.

Pencil.

Uh...

Pencil.

Yes, pencil. Good.

Anybody else?

What about "teacher"?

Teacher.

Teacher. Good.

Yes?

How about recess?

Okay.

- Good.
- EUGENE: No.

I don't mean the sign.

I mean, how about recess?

In just a couple of minutes,
Eugene.

All right, now, class,

I think that we
should thank Josh

for teaching us
these signs, okay?

ALL:
Thank you, Josh.

Good.

You're welcome.

Good. That's great.

Okay, how about some free time?

Good.

CHILD:
Josh...

Do you feel like
talking yet, Andy?

Uh, well, um, after this period

we can go into my office and we
can talk about you not talking.

Uh, but you'll probably not want
to talk about it,

but you can talk about it
if you want to talk about it.

We'll talk later.

Are you mad at me, Andy?

Why aren't you talking to me?

Because he's a dummy,
just like his friend.

(laughing)

MISS METCALF:
Oh, hi.

I'm so glad that
you could come today.

Josh's mother is coming, too,

and I figure that together,

we can figure out
Andy's problem.

Oh, we hope so, too.

Uh, after we wrap that up,

Alex asked us if we'd have
a conference with you.

Something about a grade change?

He is years old
and he still can't believe

that he got a "B" in shoe-tying?

I think he's serious about it.

He's asked for a makeup test.

MISS METCALF:
Oh, excuse me.

Hi, Mrs. Richards. Hi.

- Hi.
- Glad you could come.

- Thanks.
- Uh, these are the Keatons.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- This is Josh's mother.

- Thank you. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Very nice to meet you.

Oh, uh, excuse me.

I think I see
a tug-of-w*r breaking out.

Mrs. Richards,

we really appreciate your coming
here this afternoon.

Oh, it's no problem.

Look, I can't help
but feel responsible

for Andy not talking.

Oh, please don't. No.

It's just that Andy's
never had a friend before

who was, uh... you know.

I think what Steven means is
that Andy just has no experience

playing with someone who's...
well, who's...

Deaf.

Yes. Thank you.

Um... I don't know,
for some reason

it's difficult to talk
about Josh being, uh...

Deaf.

Andy stopped talking...
maybe I should, too.

Don't feel bad, Mr. Keaton.

The word "deaf"
is not an insult.

I'm sorry. I think we just...

we're just afraid we're going
to say the wrong thing.

It's okay.
It happens all the time.

You know, that's what's
so remarkable about Andy.

See, a lot of kids would be
scared off by Josh,

and Andy's been a real friend.

You can be very proud of him.

He's quite a boy.

There's something
I'd like to show you.

It's a painting that
both Josh and Andy drew.

It's of the both of them.

- Huh.
- Oh.

Right here.

I don't see why

we need to learn sign language

just because
the new kid can't hear.

I think sign language is fun.

I don't.

I don't think deaf kids

should be allowed
in a normal class.

Why don't you guys be quiet?

Why? He can't hear us.

We can say anything we want.

But Andy can hear you,
and they're friends.

See, he's getting
really mad at you.

Big deal!

What's he going to do,
not yell at us?

(laughing)

Hey, everybody, want to see
something funny?

Why don't you go home?

You don't belong here.

Yeah, get out of here,
stupid-head.

(laughing)

(grunting)

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

- Come on! Come on! - Eugene,
Eugene, Dougie, get over here.

He started it!
He started it!

Andy, there is no excuse
for this.

Now, what is going on?

Hey, how'd it go, buddy?

Andy.

He's still not talking?

Nope.

Of all my siblings
to give up talking,

why did it have to be him?

I don't know how much
we accomplished.

We talked to Andy's teacher.

We talked to Josh's mother.

And then a fight broke out.

Did you win, Dad?

I wasn't one of the combatants.

It was between Andy
and another boy,

and it was just so sad to see
those children fighting...

Josh sitting there, knowing
they were fighting over him.

You know, there was a time
in my life when I didn't talk.

Really?
I'm sorry I missed that, Skippy.

When, exactly,
were you speechless?

From age zero to two.

I think I could
actually speak back then.

There just wasn't anything
on my mind.

Oh, so basically
nothing's changed.

I really don't know
what we're going to do.

Obviously, Andy's not speaking
out of sympathy for Josh,

which is really a very sweet
and caring thing to do,

but how do we get him to speak

without squelching
his noble impulses?

Have you tried
offering cash yet?

(doorbell rings)

Oh, excuse me.

Mrs. Richards, come in.
Hi, Josh.

- Hi.
- Come in. How are you?

I'd like you to meet
our children.

This is Mallory
and Jennifer and Alex.

Uh, Skippy's not ours.

Um, where's Andy?

Oh, he's upstairs.

- I'll go get him.
- Thanks.

Josh, I want to thank you

for being such a good friend
to Andy.

What did he say?

He said, "You like money."

So Andy mentioned me to you.

STEVEN:
Andy...

Andy, thank you very much

for standing up for Josh today.

But we'd all like it very much

if you would start
to speak again.

Please, honey.

We love you so much.

We really want to hear
your sweet little voice.

Andy, you're my best friend.

Thank you for sticking up
for me today...

...but you don't have to.

It doesn't matter
that I can't hear.

Please talk, Andy.

(sighs)

You're my best friend.

- Oh...
- Oh, that's so great.

Mrs. Richards, you have yourself
quite a young man there.

(indistinct talking)

(all sound fades out)

MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

(Ubu barks)