07x17 - Sam's New Pal

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got,
Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
to move the world. ♪

♪ Everybody's got a
special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you got ♪

♪ Not a lot ♪

♪ So what ♪

♪ They'll have theirs,
you'll have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪

♪ Yes it does ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪

- Alright, now it's your
move Mr. Chess Master.

- [Chess Board]
Please move my queen

to knight four.

- [Man In Blue] Okay.

- [Chess Board] Checkmate.

Perhaps you should lower

the level of
difficulty to beginner.

(laughter)

- Hey dad, I narrowed my
choice down to colleges to 10.

- Would that have
anything to do with

the Playboy article
on Girls of the Pact 10?

- Hey dad, you're amazing.

- Willis you're just
going to have to start

thinking of something
else besides girls.

- No I am.

Now listen, each of
these school excels

in scholastics,
athletics, toga parties.

Toga, toga, toga, toga!

- To think I was worried
you were going to college

just to have a good time.

- Hi dad.

- Hi Arnold.

Where's Sam?

I thought you were gonna
take him to see Pinocchio?

- Well I was.

And I was really looking
forward to seeing Pinocchio.

For the 14th time.

- I see, so where is Sam?

- Well as luck would have it

on the way out of the building,

Sam met this new kid
he's been dying to meet.

- In other words
you ditched him.

- It's all in the
interpretation.

I call it unloading of pest.

Well dad, I mean, you know,

big brothers have
to have a break

from little brothers
once in a while.

They can be a real
pain in the neck.

- Oh tell me about it,

only in your case the
pain was a little lower.

- Forget it Willis.

You can't rain on my parade.

I'm a free man!

No more taking that squirt
to kiddie cartoon festivals.

Gentlemen, I have seen
my last tap dancing tree.

- Arnold!

You're the best big brother
a guy could ever have!

- I know.

- Did Arnold tell you
about my new friend?

Terry's the only other
kid my age in this building!

- A new friend.

Well that's just great Sam.

- Yeah Terry's just like me.

We both like dirt.

And Terry's got a
great toad collection.

- Ah to be young again.

- See you around old-timer.

- Mr. D, can I invite
Terry to lunch?

- Oh sure.

I'll go make some lunch.

- Can I have my
favorite sandwich?

- You got it Sam,
peanut butter and tuna.

(doorbell rings)

- [Sam] Hi Terry!

- Hi Sam!

- [Sam] Come in.

- Boy, this is a big place.

Where are your parents?

- Well, my dad's in the kitchen,

my mom's in Washington
at an exercise convention.

- Oh is she fat?

- No, she's tall and
skinny, just like me.

Terry, you're gonna
love living in this building.

We've got the greatest
sidewalk in town.

When it's icy you can watch
the people slip and slide.

It's sort of like
adult break dancing.

- Sounds great!

Hey, wanna Indian wrestle?

- Sure.

- On three.

One, two, three!

(grunting)

All right!

- You may have won
on the Indian wrestling,

but let's see if you
can get your hat back.

(laughter)

Terry why is your hair so long?

It makes you look like a girl.

- I am a girl.

(laughter)

- Stop kidding.

- I'm not I'm a girl.

- I thought we were friends!

How could you do this to me?!

- Do what?

- Trick me into
thinking you're cool

when you're just a girl.

- What's wrong
with being a girl?

- Everything.

For starters they're weak!

- Weak?!

Wanna Indian wrestle again?

- You never would've beaten
me if I knew you were a girl!

- Any girl could
b*at you you shrimp.

- Take that back!

I haven't been a
shrimp for over a year!

- Listen small fry, I got just

one thing to say to you.

(loud scream)

- Hey, nice imitation
of a flamingo.

- Darn you Arnold!

Terry stomped on my foot!

- Hey I'm sorry,
but don't yell at me!

- This is all your fault Arnold!

You introduced me to a girl

and you didn't even know it!

- What are you talking about?

I knew it.

- And you didn't even warn me?!

- Warn you?!

She's only a girl not plutonium!

- You traitor!

You can just forget
about Christmas presents.

- Sam, Christmas is over.

- I'm talking about the next 50!

- Now look Sam,
this is not my fault!

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

This sounds like World w*r III.

What's going on Sam?

- It's Terry, and he
turned out to be a she.

- Oh, Terry's a girl.

Well that's nice.

What's wrong with that?

- Oh no, not you too Mr. D.

You're gonna have to
make this up to me Arnold.

- Oh no.

My pest free life only
lasted 20 minutes.

- Listen Arnold, I'm
talking Pinocchio Saturday.

Be there.

- Not another kids matinee.

Last week I was hit
in the head all day

by all day suckers.

- You deserved it for
introducing me to that girl.

Terry really tricked
me bad Mr. D.

- Are you sure Sam?

Did she actually tell
you that she was a boy?

- No, and that was
the sneaky part.

That and liking army dolls,

baseball, and toads.

So goodbye to her
and every other girl!

I'm gonna go check the telescope

and find a planet
I wish she was on.

(laughter)

- Oh what a mess.

Sam's really upset.

Man, it's gonna be a tough job

trying to get him
straightened out.

But, someone's gotta do it.

Good luck dad.

(laughter)

- Sam, let me ask you something.

Before you knew
that Terry was a girl,

was she a lot of fun?

- Yeah I guess so.

- Were you good friends?

- Well she was okay.

- Look Sam, let's pretend
that you hate Martians.

- I do, I hate him.

They're green and slimy
just like Brussels sprouts.

- Right.

But let's also pretend
that you had a pen pal

for say four years.

- But I've only known
how to write for three.

- Okay two years, whatever.

Anyhow, you get to
like this pen pal a lot.

And you become
really good friends okay.

And then let's say that one day

he comes to visit you
and he turns out to be,

guess what?

A Martian.

Now would you like him any less?

- I guess not.

Not if I already
thought he was cool.

- Well you see that's
no different than Terry.

You already thought she was cool

and she's not even
green and slimy.

- Well she does
do some good stuff.

Boy stuff.

- See the point is,
we all have to learn

to judge people by who
they are, not what they are.

- Even if they're a girl?

- Well sure, girls are
people just like you and me.

- Really?

- Really.

You wouldn't have to
treat Terry differently

than any other friend.

In fact, we should all treat
everyone the same way.

- Okay Mr. D., I'll try.

I still can't believe
she fooled me.

You know, but I should have
known something was strange.

She smelled too
good to be a boy.

- How's it going Sam?

- Not so good Willis.

I invited Terry over.

Can you give me some
pointers on making up with a girl?

I mean you have
to do it all the time.

- Not all the time Sam.

Sometimes they
moved to another city.

- What should I say to her?

- Well first of all,

apologize for saying
you're sorry she was a girl.

- Will that do it?

- Not quite.

You also have to act miserable

and let her think
she's the cause of it.

They really love that.

- Thanks Willis, I
feel a lot better now.

- Right on fireball.

(doorbell rings)

- Wish me luck.

Oh hi Terry.

- The only thing I wanna
hear from you is an apology.

- Okay.

Terry I'm sorry you're a girl.

- What?

How do you like this
army doll up your nose?

- Wait!

That came out the wrong way.

- It better have!

- Come in.

Please?

Terry I'm miserable
and you're the cause of it.

- That did it!

- I guess what I'm
trying to say as I'm sorry.

- How sorry?

- Real, real, real, real.

- Four reals,
that's pretty sorry.

Okay apology accepted.

- Good.

Terry I was wondering maybe
we could be friends again.

- Us friends?

I don't know Sam, you
hurt my feelings pretty bad.

- Well you hurt
my foot pretty bad.

And at least you don't have
to walk on your feelings.

- That's true.

- So how about it?

- Well,

okay.

- [Both] Friends!

- Well, what should we do now?

- Well we could try and
rescue Indiana Jones.

- Nah, I did that yesterday.

I blew it, he's dead.

Hey, I know, let's go
and spit off your balcony!

- Wow, I thought
only guys like to spit!

- Nah, I've been
spitting since I was three.

- You know what's really neat?

Chew up a bunch of oatmeal
cookies and go (loud growl).

- That's gross!

I love it!

- Lookout, the
monster's gonna get you!

- Oh no!

I know how to fight
this cookie monster!

- Ah stop it! (laughter)

- Well, well, well,
well, you must be Terry.

Hi.

You are a very
pretty young lady.

- I'm not pretty, I'm strong.

- Watch it Mr. D. she
might stomp on your foot.

- I'll be careful.

Looks as if you two are
having a pretty good time.

- A terrific time Mr. D.

And it's even gonna
be better tonight.

- That's right!

- What's tonight?

- I asked Terry to sleepover.

- Oh.

Well I guess that's alright

if Terry's parents
say it's alright.

Terry can sleep
in Kimberly's room.

- That's no fun Mr. D!

Terry and I want
to sleep together.

(laughter)

- I'm going to tell my
parents I'm sleeping over.

Thanks Mr. Drummond.

- You're welcome.

- Boy, she's neat
enough to be a guy.

- Look Sam, I'm not so sure

that this sleeping over
thing is such a good idea.

- Well why not Mr. D.?

- Well because Terry is a girl.

- But you said
that doesn't matter.

- Well it doesn't.

Except for some things.

Like sleeping over.

- But why?

If I'm asleep for all I
know, she could be Arnold.

- You have a point there Sam.

And there's really
nothing wrong with it.

But then again there is.

- But how can that be?

I mean you sleep with mama.

- Oh yeah, but we're married.

- I like Terry a lot but
I'm not gonna marry her.

- Now see...

- Toga, toga, toga!

Watch this dad.

- Studying for your
College Board's?

- Hey, where's your buddy Terry?

- Uh we're having
a little problem here.

See, Sam wants his friend
Terry to stay over tonight.

- So?

- Yeah, so?

- Willis, she's a girl.

- So?

- Yeah, so?

- So?!

- Excuse us Sam.

Dad.

You can't be serious?

You worried about two
eight-year-olds having a sleepover?

- I'm not worried Willis.

I guess I am just a
little bit old-fashioned.

I mean some things are right

and some things
are not so right.

- Well look at it this way dad,

letting her sleep over
could be a blessing.

- A blessing?

- Mmm hmm.

- Go ahead sh**t Willis.

I'm always fascinated
by your thought process.

- Dad at their age
they're so innocent

they don't know the
difference between

playing with army dolls
or having a sleepover.

- He is innocent.

- Right.

And if Terry can't sleep over

Sam's gonna start
to ask questions.

And the only way you're
gonna be able to answer them

is by explaining about
the birds and the bees.

- Well I sure don't
want to force him

into asking about
that before he's ready.

Good thinking Willis.

- Yeah it is isn't it?

Well I even surprise myself.

- All right Sam,
Terry may stay over.

- Yippee!

I'm gonna go get
all my toys out!

- Thank you Willis.

- Sure thing dad.

Oh listen, since is all right

for Sam to have a girl
sleepover how about if I...

Just checking.

(doorbell rings)

- Mr. Drummond?

I'm Ray Harris, Terry's father.

We've gotta talk.

- Come in.

Is there a problem?

- Oh you bet there's a problem.

I'm doing the best I can to
bring my daughter up right

and you pull this?

- Pull what?

- My daughter came
to me and told me that

you said it's okay for
her to spend the night

here with some guy.

- Listen Mr. Harris,
that guy is my son Sam

and he's eight years old.

- Oh these kids start
so young these days.

(laughter)

- Look Ray, I think
you may be making

a bigger deal out
of this than it is.

- Now you're starting
to sound like my wife.

- Well, I know what
you're going through.

There was a time when
I thought the way you do.

- Seems like only moments ago.

- Oh that's my son.

- That's Sam?!

- No that's Willis.

Sam is only eight.

Listen, it just could be

that letting our kids sleep
over could be a blessing.

- A blessing?

What do you consider
toxic waste dumps?

- Now look Ray,

your daughter and my
son are good friends.

At that age there's
no difference between

playing with Army Dolls
and having a sleepover.

But, if you don't let her,

she'll be asking questions
and you may have to

start explaining to her
about the birds and the bees.

- I'm dreading that day.

That's really gonna
be m*rder on my wife.

Man it's tough
raising kids in the 80s.

- For all of us.

Well what do you say?

Can Terry sleep over?

- Only if they sleep
in separate rooms.

- Oh they won't
buy it, I tried that.

Well they will be
in separate beds.

- Agreed.

And they sleep with the
lights on and fully clothed.

(laughter)

- Well how about one
night light and two pajamas?

- Sounds good.

All right Terry can sleep over.

- I'm glad that's settled.

You're an open-minded guy.

- Hey dad, you
guys ought to catch

this PBS special on India.

Did you know kids there
get married at eight?

- Here they are.

Sam this is Mr. Harris.

Ray this is Sam.

- Sam, that's Sam.

- Did you bring everything?

- I got my jammies.

I got my teddy.

I got my football,
and a lot of munchies.

- Makes you wonder
whether she's gonna sleepover

or move in.

(laughter)

- Come on, let's go upstairs!

- Oh well hey, listen, kids.

Why don't you sleep down here?

I mean you can pitch
a tent and everything.

- No daddy, all Sam's
toys are upstairs.

- I'll help you bring them down.

- Ray, they'll be fine.

- What do you
plan to do up there?

- Things.

- Things?

Right.

- Come on.

- Well thanks
for bringing Terry,

she's gonna be fine.

- Yeah fine.

Look, I guess I've been
acting a little ridiculous.

- No problem.

See ya tomorrow.

- No you won't.

I'm not leaving.

- Darn!

- Don't you get the
feeling our fathers

are acting strange today?

- Well parents are like that.

- No, no, I mean even
strange for parents.

- Yeah.

You're right.

It all seemed to start
when I told my father

I wanted to sleep over.

- That's when Mr. D.
Started getting weirder too.

What do you thinks wrong?

- I don't know.

- Well maybe they'll think
we'll do something bad.

Like start a fire.

- Oh they know we would
never do anything like that.

- Boy then, I don't know.

I can never figure out parents.

My turn.

- Dad, tell Arnold he can

eat in his bed but not mine.

I don't want crumbs.

- Relax Willis, I've
eaten all the cookies.

The only crumb that's gonna
be in your bed now is you.

Loving it dad.

Just like the old days.

Hey Willis!

- Listen Phil, I'm
sorry I've been acting

a little crazy.

- Oh forget it.

I have to admit I have been
a little bit worried myself.

- Well I realized
those kids have no idea

of what we're worried about.

But they will in a few years.

- Well that's when
it gets really difficult.

But I've found all
you can do is trust

that you've given
them a solid upbringing

and that they will
do what's right.

- You know, I think our
parents had it easier than us.

- Well times were easier then.

They didn't have
cable television.

- Kids watch things
on cable these days

that I had to join
the army to see.

- They grow up so fast today.

It seems they go from
11 to 20 overnight.

- Yeah, or from eight to 20.

Why is it so quiet up there?!

- Now look,

you just have to relax.

It's late.

They're probably just
getting ready for bed.

Hi kids!

- What are they doing?

- Arm wrestling.

- Do they have to touch?

- They're getting weird again.

- I wonder if it's a full moon.

- Right.

- Hey kids, time to
get ready for bed.

- Okay!
- Sure.

(laughter)

- [Ray] Terry,
Terry, Terry honey,

what is that?

- And where is the rest of it?

- That's all there is.

- It's a nightie for my teddy.

- Teddy, of course
it's for your teddy.

It's for her teddy!

- I knew that I knew that!

- This is mine.

- Oh that's good.

- Daddy don't worry,

I wouldn't take my
clothes off in front of a boy.

- Did you hear that Phil?

- She's a good kid.

- I'll change in the bathroom.

- And I'll change out here!

Hey!

How about giving a
guy a little privacy?

- Oh sure.

- Sorry.

Sleep well Sam.

- Goodnight Sam.

- Weird.

Hey Terry, wake up.

- [Terry] Now what?

- We're not supposed
to sleep at a sleepover.

We have to raid
the refrigerator.

- Oh right!

I hope no one catches
raiding the refrigerator.

- We're safe, we've
got super capes on.

We can fly back to the room.

(loud snoring)

(upbeat music)

- Look, they're
having a sleepover too.

- They deserve it.

They've had a rough day.

(applause)

♪ Now the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two, ♪

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world ♪

♪ Yes it does ♪

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes ♪

♪ To move the world ♪

♪ Hmm ♪