07x07 - Heartstrings, Part 3

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

(no voice)

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do, baby,
without us? ♪



Hey, Mal,
you want to play catch?

No, I don't really
feel like it, Andy.

Ask Alex.

M'kay.

Alex?

Alex!

(Alex mutters)

Ah! Geez!

Alex, you want to play catch?

No, but I'd like
to change seats.

- (Nick grunts)
- Nick?

- Hmm?
- Nick?

Nick, you want to play catch?

Come on, babe, whip it in here.

Come on, babe, whip it in here.

Oh, Andy, honey, this isn't
the place to play ball.

Sorry, Mom.

Hey, you're good.

You don't drop it
as much as Dad.

That's true.

I used to be a...
a pretty good ballplayer.

For a girl.

For a guy.

Yeah, all the females
in this family

are better athletes
than the males.

How 'bout you, Mal?

Were you good, too?

Well, you know, if I wanted to,

I could have been
a great athlete, Andy.

But I just hate to sweat.

You know... you know who's
a good athlete, though, Andy?

- Who?
- Nick.

Watch this. Catch, honey.

Come on, babe, whip it in here.

Oh, what am I doing?

I-I forgot where I was.

I'm sitting here laughing

and my husband's in surgery.

LAUREN:
That's okay, Mrs. Keaton.

There's nothing wrong
with laughing.

It helps to relieve the tension.

Yeah, absolutely, Mom.

Look at Shakespeare.

Any time the going got rough
in one of his plays,

and the-and the tension
was unbearable,

big Bill would bring out
some comic relief.

You know, a clown,
a-a buffoon, a fool.

(elevator bell dings)

There you guys are.

Amazing. Life imitates art.

Well, thank you.

It-it's very sweet
of you to come, Skippy.

Aw, Mrs. Keaton,
I would have been here sooner.

They gave me wrong info
down at the desk.

Instead of Steven Keaton,

they sent me
to a Stephanie Kelton,

who was in for a liposuction.

What?

It went extremely well,
she looks great.

I-In fact, as soon
as she gets out,

I'm invited to her house

for an evening
of aerobic dancing.

Well, sit down,

make yourself comfortable.

I, uh, brought some things
to cheer up Mr. Keaton,

and I didn't know
what he wanted,

so I brought an assortment.

Here's flowers, chocolates,
archery set, uh...

oh, and this Slinky
is for you, Mrs. Keaton.

I hope you don't mind...
it's slightly used.

It's my dad's.

That's very sweet, Skippy.

- Mrs. Keaton?
- Huh? Yes, yes?

I have some good news.

The surgery is completed,
and it went very well.

- (Mallory squeals)
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Doctor.
If it's okay,

- can-can we go see him?
- No, no, no, not yet.

He's in the coronary care unit.

Everything looks good,
but we have to go slowly.

Now we have to wait
and see how his heart

adapts to the surgical
procedure.

Wait, wait, so-so it's not

- really over yet?
- No, no, not yet.

The next few hours
are going to be critical.

Thank you, thank you
for your good work.

His will to live
is extraordinary.

He obviously has
a lot to live for.

And I think I'm looking
at it right now.

Thank you.

Oh! Oh.

- Yay!
- Yay.

Oh...
(sighing, chuckling)

I just wish we could see him.

Oh, honey, just be grateful
that the surgery went so well

and just know that we're gonna
have our daddy with us soon.

♪ ♪

I can't wait to see E.T. again.

- Me, too.
- Where's Mom?

We're all set to go,
she's not here.

Well, uh, she had
a bunch of meetings.

She's probably stuck in traffic.

Well, we sure can't
go without her.

We sure can't.

She has the car.

No, I mean it wouldn't be fun
unless we all go anyway.

You know, the whole family.

Well, it's sweet
to hear you say that.

All right, let's do it,
let's go.

We can't go yet. Mom's not back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but why-why can't we just,

you know, leave her a note
and catch a cab?

Fine plan. Ditch Mom.

That's not what I meant.

Well, no, that is what I meant.

What does E.T. Stand for?

It means "Elyse Tardy."

It means "Extra Terrestrial."

What does that mean?

Over to you, Jen.

It means not of this earth.

Otherworldly.

- Yeah. Think Mallory.
- MALLORY: Oh, that's it, Dad.

- I am not going!
- Oh...

He's been doing this
to me all day.

Why, Alex?

Why do you persist
in tormenting your sister?

It's a hobby.

All right, Mal.

I'm sorry, Mal, okay?

I didn't mean to upset you.

Please forgive me.

All right, I'll forgive you.

I'll go.

Now that...

was beautiful to witness.

That's maturity.

(Mallory sighs)

Thank you, Dad.

(scoffs)

He meant me.

(laughs) He didn't mean you,
he was looking right at me.

You were looking at me.
You meant me, right, Dad?

Wait, what was that,
was that a snort?

- Are you snorting at me now?
- I was not.

- What's happening? - Dad,
you were talking to me, right?

Oh, come on.

I retract the statement.

You know, we all want
to go to this movie,

but it's not the most
important thing in the world.

I mean, just look around.

We're all together.

Granted, your mother is missing.

But all of us are here.

And we have a beautiful home.

People who truly
care for each other.

We're all healthy...
and happy...

Here it comes.

When I was a boy,

many, many moons ago,

going to a...

a movie show,
as we called it in those days,

was a very, very rare
and special event.

Now, many nights...

many nights, my mom and dad
and Rob and I

would entertain ourselves.

Do you know what we used to do?

Churn butter?

No, Jennifer.

No, we'd sing.

- Aw, Dad, please.
- ♪ She'll... ♪

Do you want me to beg?
Is that what?

♪ Be... ♪

♪ Comin' round the mountain
when she comes ♪

♪ She'll be comin' round
the mountain when she comes ♪

Yahoo.

♪ She'll be comin'
round the mountain ♪

♪ She'll be
comin' round that mountain ♪

♪ She'll be coming
round the mountain ♪

♪ When she comes ♪

♪ She'll be riding
six white horses ♪

- Oh...
- ♪ When she comes ♪

♪ She'll be riding six
white horses when she comes ♪

ALL: ♪ She'll be riding
six white horses ♪

♪ She'll be
riding six white horses ♪

♪ She'll be riding six
white horses when she comes ♪

♪ She was really stuck
in traffic or she'd come ♪

- Oh, yeah.
- ♪ She was really stuck ♪

- ♪ In traffic or she'd come ♪
- I'm sure.

♪ She's really, really sorry ♪

♪ But maybe if we hurry ♪

♪ We can all get to the movies ♪

- ♪ 'Cause she's come. ♪
- (speaking indistinctly)

(mumbling): ♪ She'll be riding
six white horses ♪

♪ When she comes. ♪

Yahoo.

- What?! How's he doing?
- (clamoring)

- What happened?
- I was getting a cup of coffee.

OTHERS:
Oh.

ELYSE:
This is ridiculous.

Why-why don't you guys
all just go home,

and if anything happens,
I'll call you.

Hey, absolutely not.
Absolutely not.

Look, you're the one
who's exhausted.

Why don't you go home,
and if anything happens,

we'll just... we'll call you.

Absolutely not.

Sounds to me like
we're all staying.

Uh, unless we all go home,

and then they could
give us a call.

Or-or-or-or they could go home,

and we could call them.

One way or the other,

I want you to go home.

- Mrs. Keaton?
- Y-yes?

Your husband's awake.

(gasps):
Can-can we all?

- Yes, yeah.
- Oh. - Oh, oh, oh.

You can see him right now
if you like.

- Okay, wait.
- Shh, shh. - Okay.

(rhythmic beeping)

(Steven inhales
and exhales loudly)

- Hi.
- Hi.

I made it.

I'm alive.

Mm.

Or is this heaven?

Hey! (laughs)

I guess not.

(sighing) It's gonna be great
to have Dad home again.

Ah.

When are Mom and Dad coming in?

Well, it's gonna take a minute
or two

to walk up the driveway, Andy.

Dad's gonna be a little slower
for a while.

Yeah, that's right.
Now remember, when Dad walks in,

we have to act really nice,
Alex.

What? What?

Come on,
what are you talking about?

Well, let's face it, Alex.
You're just not nice.

Yeah, but I can act nice.

Did anyone notice that Dad was
a little crabby on the way home?

Of course he's crabby, Mallory.
He's been in the hospital.

- That could really get to you.
- ALEX: Yeah.

That and the fact that Mallory
wouldn't stop jabbering

- all the way home.
- MALLORY: Alex,

I was try and make him
feel comfortable.

Oh, you were jabbering.

The guy was trying to climb out
the window, Mallory.

When's the last time you did...
No, he wasn't, Alex.

(overlapping arguing)

What are you talking
to me about?

Hello, Father.

And hello to you, Daughter.

Dad, welcome.
Come, sit down, please.

Yes.

Care for a snack?

Or, uh, beverage of your choice?

Uh, may I brush your hair?

Please, guys.

You don't have to treat
your father like a guest.

Sit down, honey. Please
make yourself comfortable.

Someone will be along shortly
to take your order.

Please stop.

I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm the same guy

I was ten days ago.

Just go do what you usually do.

Okay. I'm gonna go down
to the bank

and see how the dollar is doing
against the yen.

Attaboy, Andy.

I hope your brother and sisters
will follow your example.

JENNIFER:
Dad,

everything is normal.

But with a few little changes,
we've decided

that your life around here
should be easier now.

You won't have to lift a finger.

You know how no one ever wants
to take out the garbage?

Well, Dad, I'm glad
we're gonna do that for you.

Oh, Jen, please, let me do it.

Okay.

STEVEN:
I say

again, could you all just go do
what you normally do?

- Okay, Dad, just don't
get upset. - I'm not upset.

- Well, 'cause the doctor said
that... - I don't want to hear

the word "doctor."

Okay, the guy with
the stethoscope said that you...

Please. Go.

Get on with your lives.

- Grow older.
- ELYSE: Come on, everybody.

I know what you're trying
to do, but it's...

Okay, I'll go read.

I'll go spend some quality time
with my clothes.

Before I go, Dad, there's
just... there's one little thing

I want to show you, okay?
Just one, all right?

Dad, the incredible...

Stair Lift O-Matic.

O-Okay, Dad, think about it.

Sit yourself down,

and you will be zooming
from basement to attic

in mere seconds.

Alex, that is absolutely
out of the question.

We are not installing
a chairlift in our house.

All right, Dad,

I wish you would've
told me that before

'cause I got
this incredible deal

on the Stair Lift O-Matic
Stair Buster X- .

Dad, it-it comes
with rearview mirrors,

it comes with air-conditioning

and, uh, cruise control.

Oh, all right, look.
Hol-Hold it.

I know what you're trying to do
here, and it's...

it-it's all very nice,
but-but there's no need for it.

Yes, I had a heart att*ck.

Yes, I've had open heart surgery
but, no, I'm not an invalid.

All right, well...

do you mind if we get the Stair
Buster for my own personal use?

Alex.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I just...

You know, I-I just...
I love you,

- and I'm just happy
that you're home. - Thank you.

- It-it comes in four colors.
- Alex.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You seem a little edgy
with the kids.

Well, excuse me, Elyse,
if I'm not Mr. Congeniality.

I've got a few things
on my mind, okay?

Well, if you've got
to take it out

on someone, why don't
you take it out on me?

I mean,
they're just trying to help.

I don't know.

In the hospital,
all I could think about

was how great it would feel

to walk...
through that front door.

Now that I'm here...
(sighs)

Why?

This is where it happened.

I fell right over here.

I'm afraid every time I walk in
this room, I'll think about it.

I love this room.

I'm sure you're gonna
love this house.

It's quite a charming
fixer-upper.

It's got four bedrooms,
three bathrooms

and there's a separate
dining room over here.

Oh, Steven, this is beautiful.

Don't you think?

Well, yeah, yeah, Elyse. Yes,
it is. But don't you think

it's also maybe a bit
out of our price range?

Oh, we can manage it now
that you got that promotion.

- Steven just got a job as
program manager at WKS. - Yeah.

Public television.

Oh, yes, public television.
How nice.

We don't get that.

Channel .

Oh, yes, I know. We had it,
but we asked to have it removed.

Alex! Mallory! Come on in
and look at the house!

- So, this is going
to be your third child. - Hmm?

- Oh, yes.
- Well, good luck.

Two children is something,
but three can really

put you in the poorhouse.

Oh, thanks.
Uh, you're quite a saleswoman.

You know, Mom,
I've been doing some research

in the neighborhood...
checking out resale values,

property taxes...
and my conclusion is,

is this house
is wildly overpriced.

Oh, aren't you
a clever little fellow?

How would you like
a nice stick of gum?

Don't change the subject, lady.

You're $ , over,
and you know it.

- (laughs)
- MALLORY: Mommy!

- Mommy! Mommy!
- What is it, Mallory?

I love this house. You can see
the mall from the front porch.

Maybe we can
put your room out there.

Please, please, kids.
I think we can handle this.

(chuckles)

(quietly):
$ , over? Are you sure?

Were you happy with your
tax return this year?

What's the closet space
look like?

There's one in every room.

Well, we can add on.

Add on? You think it's
that easy? Have you no sense

of zoning laws? Building codes?
Housing agreements?

Oh, yeah? Richard Nixon
has the cooties.

That's quite a comeback,
Mallory.

Richard Nixon has the cooties,

and Tricia Nixon
wears bad pantsuits.

Honey, your brother's
going through a bad time.

(singsongy):
Watergate. Watergate.

Nixon's going to jail.

- ALEX: That's it!
- (Steven sighs)

They're sweet.

- Would you like to see
the kitchen? - STEVEN: Oh, yeah.

Can we just talk together
for a minute?

Oh, sure. Sure, take your time.

I'll be right in here
with my ear to the door.

I'm getting real good vibes
about this place, Steven.

Well, so am I, but she's got a
lot of other houses to show us.

I don't need to see
any other houses.

I mean, everything
we need is right here.

All we need to do is
open it up a little bit.

Oh, can't you just see it?

We can open up
this stairway here,

put in a great big bay window
right here in front and...

oh, we'll get
this fireplace working.

That shouldn't be too hard.

Oh, Steven,

it-it could be wonderful.

What?

Nothing. It's just...

You're very beautiful when you
get all architectural like that.

Oh, honey.

I can just see our family
sitting in this living room.

You and I holding each other.

Mallory sitting on the sofa,
talking on the phone.

Alex on the sofa
digging under cushions,

trying to find loose change.

Would you guys mind taking
the small bedroom?

Can I borrow some turtle food?

Hey, wait a minute.
You're not the Epsteins.

Well, no, we're the Keatons.

Hi, I'm Skippy Handleman
from across the street.

ELYSE:
Oh!

Well, these are our children,
Alex and Mallory.

Va-va-va-voom.

Marry me! Marry me!

(Mallory screaming)

(screaming continues)

Well?

- Let's take it. (chuckling)
- Oh, honey!

What am I gonna do, Elyse?

What am I gonna be like?

It's gonna be fine, honey.

How do you know that?

Well, you heard
what the doctor said.

I don't want to hear
the word "doctor."

I'm sorry.

You heard what the man
with the stethoscope said.

It's gonna take some time
to readjust.

What am I readjusting to?

What kind of a... what kind of a
life am I gonna be living here?

Well, the-the same kind of life
you led before.

You heard what they said... they
said an active and full life.

What do they know?

Doctors.

Don't say "doctors."

You know what really worries me?

Matt Pearson.

Oh, yeah, well,
he's been on everyone's mind.

Who is he?

Sales rep for PBS.

Big, brash, full of life
kind of guy.

Huge fan of my documentaries.

I think his favorite was
probably The Salmon:

From River King to Croquette.

Well, he sounds like
one of our kind of people.

Anyway, six months ago,

he doesn't show up
for the annual sales meeting.

And, uh, I ask about him.

Turns out
he's had a heart att*ck.

He's five years younger
than me, Elyse.

I saw him recently.
Completely... different guy.

He looked terrible.

Thin, tired, skittish.

Scared of living.

Told me his doctor said
he was as good as new.

He could do anything.

But he's afraid.

Afraid he's gonna get
another heart att*ck.

Are you afraid?

I am.

Afraid of becoming another
Matt Pearson;

a living, passionless...

ghost.

I need passion in my life,
Elyse.

Passion for the kids,
passion for my work...

passion for you.

Honey... it's all still there.

It's just gonna take some time.

I'm just thrilled with
every minute I have with you.

I love you.

I love you.

On second thought,

I don't think we're gonna have

to worry about that passion
coming back.

Va-va-va-voom.



MAN:
Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.

(Ubu barks)